A wonderful day begins

no banana @lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 872 points –
81

Phrases that make absolutely no fucking sense in 194 countries out of 195

Elementary school police officer

😳

I'm an American, and I've never heard of this. I think it might mostly be a joke at the expense of the shithole officers of Uvalde.

They are often called "resource officers" and there was at least one in every public school I went to (east coast).

I think less than 193 tbh... In Latvia, a Social Democrat party has proposed surveillance cameras and pigs in schools. I'm pretty sure in other countries there has been talk as well

https://www.baltictimes.com/news/articles/6104/

Man, social democrats sure do like building police states...

Here, it's the opposite. The social democrats and their allies were in government for a long time and the second the more conservatives (still pretty left compared to the USA though) got power they proposed a fuck ton of laws including visitation zones where they can search people without suspect. That law actually goes into effect very soon.

Wat

Exactly that. They use police to protect capital's interests just like the other countries. So they need to expand police powers. Just look at Weimar Germany for historical examples.

We're talking about modern day social democrats and you bring up Weimar Germany. There's a lot more recent examples of social democrats in power lol.

Like the socialist Nazi party throwing a world war with a side of genocide.

Found the nazi

I don't think a modern day Nazi would highlight the socialist part or talk about starting world war and genocide

Or you found the person using the example of the Nazi party being socialists in name only to highlight the ridiculousness of the comment I replied to.

social democrats sure do like building police states

Well, you wouldn't want to let all these kids play with their guns without an officer to watch over them, would you?

My country had police officers in all schools for a month or so after the First Ever School Shooting In The Entire Country happened, but only because parents demanded it.

This was only a bit ago actually.

I think most countries will eventually go through one. For the UK it was Dunblane, after which the government went "no more handguns then?" and we all went "yeah, I suppose", because only a handful of people kept them anyway.

No, see they're mostly there so children learn to obey through intimidation talk to police, and they definitely never use it as a punishment detail for officers who got in trouble for anger issues

I have a special hate for inspirational water bottles, stickers or notebooks.

I have a special hatred for school police officers.

Me too, although it's slightly less than normal ones, the only thing ours ever did was stop kids punching each other and DARE once a year.

the only thing ours ever did was stop kids punching each other

Ngl that sounds pretty good

Ours got a kick over charging kids with felonies that would follow them the rest of their lives.

School Resource Officers can't charge kids with felonies only a prosecutor can do that. A cop can arrest someone. Now you might think I'm being pedantic but I think it is an important distinction. Many times we blame cops and completely over look the fact that some of the blame lies with the prosecutor.

Yeah, but even if they're arrested and the charges are dropped, they still have an arrest on their record, which many/most colleges ask about on their applications.

Watch the John Oliver episode about School Resource Officers, you'll see one girl arrested and charged (I believe they dropped it though) with a felony/bomb charge for popping her water bottle cap like we used to do in school (y'know, twist the bottle, and then unscrew the cap and it pops off).

Another kid, special needs, was arrested and manhandled because he lightly carved "[Name] was here" into a concrete wall, which his mother had him come back and clean off. John put the kids name on his wall so that everyone would know "a legend was here," which is the reason the kid gave for why he did it in the first place.

Schools don't need cops, they need social workers, counselors, and proper funding. Not a chode with a gun and an authority fetish. Our school officer used to make friends with all the kids dealing drugs/getting in fights, while our principals/vice principals would scream at kids to take their hoodies off. And they wonder why kids think school is a joke.

But can’t most cops use their discretion and not arrest the kid in the first place bypassing the prosecutor completely?

That's just wrong... cops charge people and the District attorney will decide if they want to prosecute those charges and spoiler alert they do it 99.9% of the time.

If your expected to empty this everyday you'll eventually end up being diabetic.

Cirrhosis of the liver will get you first.

Pfft. You're underestimating the human liver.

If we're not joking, I kind of think the liver would go first. Unless your mixing it to like a 4% ABV, then maybe the beetus might get ya first.

Honestly there is a good chance you stress your liver out so much that the sugar and your food (bc let's be honest, your probably not eating healthy either) gets turned into a shitload of triglycerides and you stroke out or have a heart attack from too long of hyperlipidemia.

Some alkies go decades drinking way more than that every single day. Humans are surprisingly resilient. Inspirational, really

Yeah, but I am just referencing average outcomes. It's a bit of a selection bias, because you don't see all the alcoholics in the ground and the liver doesn't really "hurt" until like end stage liver failure. So alcoholics can seem relatively okay, until one day they are not.

Oh, and an alcoholic is exceptionally prone to drunk driving. Something like high 80% of people who det a DUI is or will be an alcoholic. So an alcoholic is way more likely to kill themselves wrapped around a tree before their liver blows.

Sugar free coke would be the way to go.

Sugar-free means they are using a sugar substitute known as aspartame that's known to cause cancer.

Everything causes cancer, and if you're drinking yourself do to death then neither diabetes or cancer really matter.

No, everything does not cause cancer... you are better off drinking water over everything, but if you are going to have a soda just drink a regular one.

I think you have taken a shit post far too seriously.

Alcohol is also a known carcinogen and cause of numerous health issues. Probably worse than the aspartame

Plus all the extra sodium will give you kidney stones

The hell is a school police officer??

Spotted the non-American! I'm very envious of your ignorance of this bullshit

Is it like the hall monitor we see in American cartoons?

The same level of pettiness but can arrest you, search your bags and locker, and carries a gun

In the good ol USA, schools often have what's called a school resource officer. Meant to be the connection between school kids and the police department, they have been useful for truancy and other problems that happen with students ( esp. high school age) at schools.

Although more recently they've been the (mostly) reliable first contact in the event of a school shooter, the SRO is usually first on scene and relays into to responding officers.

Although more recently they've been the (mostly) reliable first contact in the event of a school shooter, the SRO is usually first on scene and relays into to responding officers.

Well that was the idea anyways

The dude we had to bribe with egg rolls to go to the chinese place off campus for lunch back in the 90s. Now Idunno.

Afaik the top bully in school.

So when a kid gets transferred to a new elementary school they are advised as a newcomer to punch the baddest bully/the officer to establish dominance, preferably during recess, with one of them prison food trays. ... no, wait, that can't be right, US kids dont get food at school.

(But for real, from the headlines I only ever heard bad things)

Is not it supposed to be chilled? By noon it will be warm, and drinking warm coke is just disgusting, unless it is mostly alcohol, and then you would just not remember.

I have this exact bottle for Dr pepper. The guy at the gas station charges me for a cup of ice when I refill it and it's much cheaper than a 2 liter.

I've usually got about two litres in me by 10am, and have taken my fourth piss. This bottle would not suffice.