Thomas rule

Clbull@lemmy.world to 196@lemmy.blahaj.zone – 975 points –
74

Reminder: If someone constantly bitches about his colleagues, calles them idiots and acts like he is the only one who does everything right all the time. Then this person is the problem and is projecting harder than a drive-in cinema.

This is true 100% of the time.

I recently had a meeting with my supervisor, and he was complaining about how a previous meeting ran over time and repeatedly complaining about how some former team members who moved to a different team caused the meeting to run over time because they wouldn't just agree to do what he asked, but kept arguing with him about why it isn't a good idea.

I had to interrupt him to point out that the meeting we were in, in which he was complaining about the previous meeting running over time because of the previous team members, had just run over time, and they weren't in the meeting this time.

I don't think he liked what I said, but he ended the meeting, and that's what I wanted to happen.

He did my annual review three days later and complained that I don't work well with others, and specifically indicated that I don't work well with him.

He's the only supervisor who has ever complained about me in the 36 years I've been working.

We've had two people retire last year directly because of him. There is another person who refuses to have a meeting with him unless it is recorded.

Sounds like your company hired one of my previous managers.

We routed around him until the company eventually relieved themselves of the dead weight.

Surprised you don't take this sort of detail up to your skip level. Corporations are not entirely blind to issues in all cases. Actually, I bet you have raised these concerns. For all the folks nodding along, talk to your boss' boss!! You owe it to yourself to try

I have, and others have as well. It doesn't look like the situation can be improved through the chain of command.

Although, I heard through the grapevine that he was written up by the director of a department we support. Honestly, given what I know about that person, I'm surprised he survived that. However, he did.

It's the "I'm always right" part that guarantees it

I work with a bunch of fucking idiots who regularly fuck stuff up. But I'm also a fucking idiot constantly fucking Up so I belong

Yea, the having shitty coworker thing DOES happen. It's more the, "I'm the only good one..." thing that's the indicator. Even most actually shitty coworkers are good some of the time or else they'd hopefully be canned quickly.

And if you work somewhere where shitty people are never fired, it's probably a good time to find another job. Unless, you know, you're a shitty person and want job security.

It's the complaining about it--asserting your correctness to everyone around you--that makes someone the asshole.

Everyone always thinks they're right. If you didn't think you were right to act a certain way, you would do something different! Acknowledging afterwards that you were wrong and made a mistake is what makes someone tolerable.

I don't know about that. I certainly think I'm right when I do something, but I have a healthy dose of imposter syndrome, so I tend to do a lot of testing before hand, and when something goes wrong I assume it's my fault until I can prove otherwise.

It always seems strange to me when people need to be proven wrong. Usually when I'm wrong, I'm the person who figures it out, because I always assume problems are my fault.

The weird thing is, this leads to an enormous amount of trust in me by others, which I find exceedingly uncomfortable.

I think this is generally true...

... except for driving. I'm the only decent driver out there.

Then this person is the problem and is projecting harder than a drive-in cinema.

Do their bulbs also burst far too easily?

(or how to understand those who cannot be understood)

The subtitle really highlights his superior understanding.

I think I get it. Listen. There are four types of people: Red person, yellow person, green person and blue person. And they're all narcissistic psychopath idiots. Easy.

reminder not to judge a book by its cover. these kinds of self improvement books are often titled to attract the people that need them more than reflect the opinions inside. like that one social media post of the lady burning a book titled "guys like girls who..." because she assumed it was hateful, but the point of the book was to help young women build confidence and realize they don't need male approval.

These books are pseudoscientific bullshit, to be clear

Anything related to psychology and sociology is pseudoscience.

No, you're massively overgeneralizing. Freud is pseudoscience, but there's lots of very real studies especially around the 60s (before ethics were considered) that follow the scientific method and have real measurable outcomes and conclusions.

Don't be anti science. Science is a method, not a social club.

There definitely is real, experimental psychology, but unfortunately the vast majority of psychology in the popular consciousness, and even in some academic / professional bodies, is modern-day phrenology. (Also I'd cut Freud some slack, since he was working based on the standards of his time.)

Psychology from the 60s is unreplicatable just-so story trash. Some stuff being done in the last decade or two is starting to approach legitimacy, but I think we're still not really there yet.

The only reason you think you have space to say that is because doing direct psychological experimentation on humans is extremely unethical

The only reason I "have space to say so" is because it's not a science. Allowing whatever you mean by "direct psychological experimentation" wouldn't change that.

I'm not saying it's a field of study that isn't useful, but it's not science.

That sound was a behavior analyst stabbing UndercoverUlrikHD in the spleen. I'm guessing you know absolutely nothing about the different fields within psychology, or even much beyond what you're exposed to in popular culture. Yet here you are, trying to redefine the scientific method to suit your feelings

I typed this whole comment about how and why sociology is a science, and realized they probably don't give a shit.

You're absolutely right that I'm not an expert on neither psychology nor sociology. But I'm not basing my opinions on popular culture either. My opinions were mostly formed from years ago when I had to do a month research and write my exam in Examen Philosophicum during my study for a Master of Science, where I wrote about the history of scientific theory.

It was mostly when I read about Karl Popper and his criterion of falsifiability that I stumbled upon the "science" of psychology. Other than that, my impression of psychology mostly comes from living with a psychology student for three years and hearing about her studies.

A science without hard facts isn't much of a science from my point of view. You can't reproduce or simulate the minds of people thousands of times. There's so many variables factoring in when you're researching, or diagnosing. How do you separate the researcher's emotions and personal interpretation from the "objective" facts of a person's psyche.

@ZzyzxRoad@sh.itjust.works Implying I'm a troll isn't really a great form of argument. Feel free to type your whole comment again and I'll read it with an open mind.

@ProgrammingSocks@pawb.social I'm not trying to be anti science, I still think it's a worthwhile field of study, I just don't think it's fits the criteria of science. Feel free to show me wrong.

98% if it is just gathering statistics; 2% is trying to pretend to know what those statistics mean.

yeah that's fair, i didn't check myself lol. just saw the ghost of others errors in this post.

I tried reading one of these. Gave up when I realized it was basically a very slightly modified version of the four humours philosophy of philosophy. Couldnโ€™t find anything helpful in it.

yeah, i don't know these books, nor do i often like self help books... this post just reminded me of mistakes I've seen in the past. the internet is very very fast to hate without checking if they're right.

if any book requires its title to be a clickbait in order to sell and author are willing to use such a move, i'd doubt about the quality of its content

hmm, idk, again in the "guys like girls who" example. it's targeting people with bad self image and telling them they're fine the way they are. if you hate that then you're being way too of a purist on your "clickbait" stance

Like 50% of the self help industry is showing people that they're actually the problem in their lives. You'll never get a person like that to read a book called "actually you're the problem" but frame it in a way that they agree with, "surrounded by idiots", and then set up some scenarios, but break them down to show why the other people actually aren't idiots, and it's the "surrounded" person's issues showing through... Well, they may stick around long enough to learn something.

Not necessarily. We live in a capitalist distopia where it doesn't matter how good you are at what you do or what you sell. You won't sell shit if you can't market yourself. The opposite also applies.

I figured they were conspicuous show pieces, intended for others to see on one's bookshelf or in one's hand in public.

If you meet an asshole in the morning, you met an asshole. If you meet assholes all day long, you are the asshole.

Unless you work with businesspeople. Then both parts are true.

Isn't that exactly what these books are calling out? That if you feel surrounded by idiots, it's you who need to work on empathy and communication skills?

You're the only person here who's read them.

I read a paragraph of a summary of one of them at some point, can't really speak for the series as a whole :)

This is correct. Fro what i remember In Surrounded by Idiots he starts with a story about a business owner he knew that used the title phrase to describe his own employees and then uses that to lead into the book which is about connecting with other people, perspective, and empathy.

The book is titled like that because it would resonate with the people that actually believe that and are the ones that really need to read the book.

the four types of human behaviour

There are only four?! Gosh. That makes my job sooo much easier. If I only had known before.

If it smells like shit everywhere you go, might be time to check under your own shoes.