family sized lasanyer

Takeshidude@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 750 points –
75

OMG, Had just moved into a new house. BEAUTIFUL white kitchen, marble counter tops, light grey floor, whole 9 yards.

Kid 1: I want home made pizzas for my birthday party

Me: FUUUUUUU...OK

Day of:

Split up the 17 batches of fermented dough I had made into pie rounds

Broke out the cast iron skillet.

Started working out dough rounds.

Round -> corn starch-> skillet on the range on high -> sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next

Round -> corn starch-> skillet on the range on high -> sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next

Round -> corn starch-> skillet -> on the range on high sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next

CRANKIN' IT OUT BOSS!

Oh shit I'm out of red sauce, grab another giant glass jar from the pantry

Go to grab something with my off hand, swing the sauce too close, comes down on the edge of the counter, 99.9% over the floor. CRACK!

Bottom of the glass jar just falls off. I'm wearing cargo shorts, it fills my pocket, and my shoe, and slops into the open drawer and down the counter face and as the glass hits the floor, the sprays up all over the rest of the counters and my shirt and the ceiling and the lip of the counter.

  • Living space with pristine white room and furnishings
  • Living space with one or more children

Pick one.

the children had nothing to do with butterfingers goof up though?

Did you throw some spaghetti in that pocket and make your own meme photo?

Honestly even with the bloodbath that was there I couldn't hope to even approach the majesty of that photo.

Man I thought the other night was bad. Just got my new fizzy drink maker machine. Showed my kids how awesome fizzy orange juice is. I didn't release the pressure after fizzing it up, remove the bottle and BOOM, fizzy OJ goes EVERYWHERE... ceiling, my face, walls, the clean dishes on the drying rack, windows etc etc. lol

You’re supposed to make water fizzy, and then afterwards add flavor (which contains sugar.)

I don’t think you are supposed to add it before otherwise it explodes everywhere?

DrinkMate will fizzify any liquid, it's different than the soda stream where you add their flavors. I use this for water mostly tho

Oh yeah, I have one of those. My failure was lemonade. They need to make one with a longer straw so you can keep the liquid further down in the carbonation bottle. Anything but water is a constant s*** show

When mayonnaise used to be sold in glass jars I dropped a brand new jar and had mayonnaise and broken glass everywhere.

Were you able to salvage any? Just asking if it was Hellman’s you could maybe still use some from the top.

It was Hellmann's and no, it was an absolute shit show. I was cleaning mayonnaise off the ceiling

I used to be a delivery driver for a pizzaria. One night I got a really far delivery, like half an hour each way. I guess during that time the lasagna steamed the paper delivery bag, because I picked it up by the top (stupid) and made it three steps from my car before the lasagna fell out the bottom of the bag and exploded on this dudes driveway. Very sad.

Then what happened? Was the customer understanding? Did you have to make the drive out again to replace it? What did your boss say?

The customer was very understanding. I did drive out a second lasagna. Boss was angry, but he was always angry.

Half an hour is a "really far" delivery? In the city I live, because of traffic, everything is about 20 minutes away, no matter the direction.

Is that troy "I sniff the seats of female parliamentarians and snap my opposition staffers' bras" buswell?

Edit: misremembered, turns out it was a labour staffer.

Holy schneikes, his Wikipedia page's "Controversies" section is WILD

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troy_Buswell

As an American I love hearing about this kind of stuff because it makes me feel better about the embarrassing shitshow we've got going on over here. Doesn't make the situation any better, but it's nice to commiserate and know that everything is basically fucked everywhere else too

Don't kid yourself, the rest of the world is still not quite as fucked up as the USA. But yeah lol Aussie politics is almost as dumb in a lot of ways.

Holy shit, that guy needs Jim Carey to yell at him. "STOP GRABBING PEOPLE'S CROTCHES, ASSHOLE".

not even his staffer, one for the other party

Yeah I saw that in the wikipedia link - I'd misremembered. Just editing my comment.

That is definitely lasanyer, because no one makes lasagna with one giant sheet of pasta on the top and bottom.

My family is a lot bigger than that

"Family size" is a marketing term aimed at making the large size comfortable for women to buy

It's not really about how it could feed a family, though it could

Those shoes look pretty lame to be anybody's favorite pair. And it's only on one of them, what a complainer.

They also seem to be ballooning out in all directions as if worn by a morbidly obese person

He said it was a family sized lasanyer. He didn't say an entire family was going to eat it.

He didn’t say he wasn’t going to eat an entire family.

Or they're just too small. Those don't look like large shoes.

TIL I eat family sized portions. Like, that's lunch, at most.

That has the area of 2 feet and looks pretty tall. I think you wouldn't be able to eat that whole thing.

That has the area of 2 feet

Looks more like 6x6 inches to me... that would be 0.25 sqft.

It's on top of the shoe, and on average people's shoes are less than a ft long. It looks about half the length of the shoe to me, possibly slightly more.

Hands up who would still eat the lasanyer and wear the shoes 🤚

Not the lasagna 😔