Is it normal for a person to "feel" less as they get older?

aCosmicWave@lemm.ee to Asklemmy@lemmy.ml – 508 points –

I remember experiencing the world much more vividly when I was a little boy.

I would step outside on an autumn evening and feel joy as the cool breeze rustled the leaves and caressed my skin. In the summers, I would listen to the orchestra of insects buzzing around me. I would waddle out of the cold swimming pool and the most wonderful shiver would cascade out of me as I peed in the bathroom. In the winters, I would get mesmerized by the simple sound of my boots crunching the snow under me.

These were not experiences that I actively sought out. They just happened. I did not need to stop to smell the figurative roses, the roses themselves would stop me in my tracks.

As I got older, I started feeling less and less and thinking more and more.

I've tried meditation, recreation, vacation, resignation, and medication. Some of these things have helped but I am still left wondering... is this a side effect of getting older? Or is there something wrong with me?

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I am no doctor but I remember hearing one of the warning signs of depression can be the absence of feeling. It is certainly one of mine.

Ehh...I disagree with this if we are specifically talking about what the OP is referring to.

When you're a child, everything is new, making all of it exciting. For example...as a child, OP had only experienced winter a few times. As an adult, they've experienced countless winters. It becomes routine instead of new and so it fades into the background. And with adult obligations to worry about, we don't have that worry free child mind that can drift off like that. It's just part of getting older.

OP, sometimes it's worth making a conscious decision to stop and take a moment to notice and experience your surroundings. There's a thunderstorm outside? Grab a warm cup of coffee and just try to watch and listen for a moment. If possible, open a window (that won't let rain in) or sit outside under an awning and just take in all of your senses. Go out for a walk without any music and without using your phone. Try to look at the trees and birds around you and take it in. Smell the air...has the grass been recently cut? Has it rained recently? Is there mud around? Is someone nearby grilling some food? Are there leaves on the ground? Try stepping on one. Do they crunch or are they soft and wet?

As a child, everything is new. As an adult, it's routine and boring. But you can still manage to capture a small bit of this feeling back if you actively decide to stop from time to time and consciously try to take in your surroundings for a moment. Stop and try to feel all of your senses.

You can never make these feelings new again, but sometimes I find some satisfaction in watching and listening to the world around me.

Both perspectives are true and effort is the key in either case.

Not everyone is destined to lose appreciation for the moment, regardless of "newness".

Nor is everyone so easily adept at willing it to be so.

But engaged awareness, to your point, is a helpful consideration to be sure!

What a great tool to reach for!

Photography helped me with this, and I know not everyone is creative, but editing photos personally helped me find some wonder. You can do so much with perspective and change an image into something completely different with just the right modifications.. Anyway. The world is shifty and we have all been in it too long and are Hella jaded. You just have to find novel things, even if it is harder for our brains to view that way, we can even trick our brains by doing mundane things in a new way. Like for instance instead of shaving in the shower or bathroom, go outside into nature, bring a mirror and shave there. I remember Michio Kaku saying something like this and the added bonus is it will make your life feel longer too, since it is adding novelty, your brain doesn't just go into autopilot.

For everyone wondering whether or not they’re depressed, there is a tool doctors use called the Beck Depression Inventory (BDI), broadly available online as a PDF. If you score high talk to your doctor about it. Take good care of yourselves fellow lemmings.

Additionally, mindfulness sometimes gets a bad rep but it’s an awesome way to reconnect with your ‘feeling’ side. There are many apps, I found one that really works for me and it’s awesome.

When your older, you understand how shitty the world really is, and shatters any hope you ever had.

I thought the world was so awesome, space is so vast, the world so interconnected, technology, communication across the whole world, we have flying machines, we (as in humanity) went to the moon, we have machines on mars, we might reverse aging...

Then, the realization that we are alone in space, the universe doesn't care about us, technology is being used for mass surveillance, censorship and propaganda, false information, carbon emissions, recession to authoritarianism, discrimination, etc......

I wish I could be naive and happy as I used to be, but once you grow up, you understand how fucked up thw world is. Its hard to have hope again.

I'm diagnosed with depression, but maybe depression is just the realization of the horrible truth of the world.

I think being depressed is perfectly natural when being on this planet. But since it makes your life worse, it's important to know how to think about something else so you don't feel sad all the time (which is natural considering how shitty it all is). Human leaders are at a very primitive stage of mental evolution and we all suffer because of that.

I get excited about computers and tech so I focus a lot on that in my life. You need to find something that feels fun and exciting despite the world being shit. Also I stopped watching news like 15 years ago and I'm ignorant now of all the things that happen every day. Feels better.

I used to think it was foolish to be disconnected from the news and current events, but now I think the opposite is true.

It's much better for mental health at least. You won't know about all the stuff that happens every day, but I feel like it's all useless knowledge anyway.

You will start to feel disgusted by those people on the TV. News anchors, presidents, celebrities, fed chairman's or whatever it is. They are all inside the matrix 100%.

I think there's definitely something healthy behind the idea that depression is actually a fairly natural or reasonable state, however hard and painful it can be. Especially for anyone that wants to be mindful of the danger of psychopaths or sociopaths who are probably the types of people that seem oddly immune or unable to understand or empathise with depression.

Otherwise, I'll just say that a "second childhood" can be a thing (as far as I can tell), where all of the concerns of middle age fade away and we're forced to wrestle, naively perhaps, with the sheer reality of existing.

My therapist said to me the other day that anxiety is the brain's survival mechanism and depression is "Safe mode." It's so hard in the modern world for most people to find the in between because there is so much to give us anxiety and make us feel like we are in danger and so of course since the body always seeks homeostasis, depression is sure to follow. It's like an up and down Rollercoaster with no end.

I think a big part of it is that when we are young, all of these are new experiences to us. And as such, they carry a lot more emotion and stimulation.

As an adult, you've experienced many things. To some degree, your brain is likely acustomed to it.

Something that helps is breaking out of your routines and experiencing new things. I've heard our neural pathways described as the grooves that form on a hill when sledding. When you first slide down the hill, you're making brand new grooves. Each trip is different and unique. But over time, trails get established and you end up using the same worn trails over and over.

Experiencing new, bespoke things is like breaking out of the trails and making a new one.

At least, that's my understanding! I'm not a proffessional, just someone who can relate to what you're describing :)

I have to agree. I grew up in a tropical climate and moved to the northern part of the northern hemisphere several years ago. The first few winters I would look like some kind of child lost in the wonder of the beauty of snow falling because I’d never lived in a place that had snow. Sometimes I still have those moments.

I am not a doctor, but it could be depression. It is really difficult to not feel terrible sometimes given the state of the world right now.

Definitely agree. To your point on new things, I still feel that sense of awe and wonder when I go on trips to places I've never been, hear an awesome song for the first time, or even learn something new. It takes a certain level of motivation to feel those senses as you age (mid 30s here), and determination to seek those things out. I know I am lucky in that I'm at a stage in life where I have the resources to make some of these happen, but a lot of it is also forcing the free time to both seek out experiences and also be able to appreciate them.

I'll add one more point.

Not just cause of age, but people disregard feeling when they don't find it comfortable with. People want to be treated in someway and don't want you feel in other shape or form.

Which is another reason why we tame/shape our feelings abiding by the social norms.

I used to be over friendly in my 20s. That behaviour isn't appreciated in professional relationships. I had to change my attitude towards people overtime and stop emphathizing with them, to a certain degree.

It is certainly a matter of environment and peers you had around you, not age.

I think one of the reasons people like having kids, is because they can see the world through there eyes. Everything you've already experienced numerous of times, they get to see for the first time and relay there joy to you. And you get to show them. Ignoring the depressing reality, painting a picture of the world like it once felt to you.

Yep. Each time you perform the same action, say the same words, think the same thoughts the connection of the neural pathways responsible for those things are strengthened. It is why depression and anxiety and other mental issues are so hard to reverse. It is possible though. I urge anyone who thinks they have depression to look up a book called "The Upward Spiral." It is co-written by a neuroscientist and a psychologist and was really eye opening for me on the inner workings of the brain when it comes to depression and anxiety and has helped me at least start on a path to making myself better.

Getting to the point in life where you realize how the sausage is made, packaged, marketed, distributed, sold, cooked, consumed, digested, defecated, flushed, mixed with other waste, and either separated into solids and liquids or dumped into the ocean will do that to you.

Well, the older you get the more experiences you have. Not everything is going to feel new when you've been through it a few decades.

I'd say it's normal.

That is why I fell in love with shrooms, TBH. Psilocybin has resurrected a curiosity in me that I haven't felt in years. I just seemed that at 40 years, there aren't many situations that I haven't seen or experienced in daily life. As a side benefit, I have learned how to grow mushrooms.

Edit: haven't

I just seemed that at +40 years, there aren’t many situations that I have seen or experienced in daily life.

Very true, I feel that. It's incredibly easy to not even realize that, too.

My only fear is I've got another 40 years to go lol

The "midlife crisis" is real. For me, it's looking for new things to do, cutting out bad habits (drinking) and am trying not to think about how life is actually all downhill from here. I am not going to buy a sports car or anything, but some healthy experimentation with psychedelics does seem to scratch that itch.

I think I rationalized my fear by understanding just how much shit I have seen and I still have another 30 to 40 years left, which is a good thing.

I'm sure it also has something to do with that when you get older, you've had those experiences many more times than as a child. They just don't feel that specia anymore.l

Wow, that rings brutal, but true. "Childlike wonder" is truly special.

This is also why days feel faster as you age. More repetition and your brain doesn't need to form as much new memories.

Want to live longer? Experience more novelty!

Do shrooms that feeling will come right back

I was going to suggest that, but wanted to see if any other people would. It has helped me anecdotally, and many other people. There are studies being done at universities that prove psilocybin help with mental and behavior issues.

Obviously don't just take my word for it. Look into it. Have a trip sitter or someone experienced that can talk you through your thoughts if you need it.

yeah, as long as you treat the experience with the respect it deserves it's beneficial, people get into trouble with it when they mix it with other drugs or just take it with no considerations

100% agree with this. Ever since getting into shrooms the world has become so much more alive and I feel far better about life in general. I run a community for magic and mysticism if anyone is interested called !magic@wizanons.dev which focuses on this type of discussion. Anyone is welcome to join the discussion or ask questions.

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Just go eat a bunch of psilocybin and report back OP

LSD connects parts of your brain that you haven't used or haven't been connected together since childhood.

Now while this doesn't always lead to good experiences it cured my severe depression for around 12 months. I woke up feeling generally happy for the first time in a decade.

Luckily these chemicals are gradually being legalized for study and should lead to some amazing therapeutic applications.

Objective unclear, ate penicillin and created a bacterium capable of speech.

On a more serious note…I gotta find some psilocybin.

I’d advise against suggesting that people should take psychedelics honestly. I know some people who have had their depression cured with psychedelics, and others who have come away from trips traumatized and scarred by false realities that their brains made up. It’s a strange thing.

Try LSD. It's like being a kid again.

Or mushrooms.

Ops not joking. It literally allows your brain to create new pathways instead of being stuck with the same boring bullshit that repeats in daily life.

Just make sure you dose right and teach yourself in a proper way instead of taking what some friend hands you to "tRiP bAlLzzz, mannn". Treat it like medicine.

Couldn't agree more, I use psychadelics a few times a year, and nothing brings be to that same feeling OP was describing like LSD or mushrooms. Some of the best conversations and experiences I've ever had agave been on psychedelics, I laugh till I cry almost everytime I've done them. have had bad trips in my life, but I feel like Set and Setting are hugley important as well as having respect for the drug. Overall highly recommend.

I came here to say that as well. Or, as @vd1n says, mushrooms. It really helps remind you that the world is wondrous, and even after it's over, it makes it easier to see the joy in everything.

I never did mushrooms and only did LSD like 5 times. But one time I contemplated the multitude of grass types when laying down on a meadow. Another time was on a short mountain trip, landed at a tourist shelter, there was a melody in all the kitchen noises. Also observing the tiny ecosystem at the riverside is something I will never forget. I don't have this kind of patience or ability to being fascinated with the mundane normally.

I recently read that in a neurotypical human being, the succession of two experiences only has a big impact on brain activity for the first experience, while the second makes a smaller spike. In psychotic patients on the other hand, the impression makes two equally large spikes both times. In the experiment, the experience was hearing a ballpoint pen click. So maybe being dulled to former experience is important for the brain to function properly, just a side effect of our natural brain filter.

The prefrontal lobe is the part of your brain responsible for saying "hush"

i.e. that's not a novel idea/stimulus anymore

This makes a lot of sense to me. I am trying to link it to survival and evolution, but can't pin anything down off the top of my head. I'm going to continue mulling it over though.

It's kind of the opposite for me. Like many people said, when you are young, every experience mostly feels new. However, when everything feels new to you, there's really nothing special about it. For me, I always embraced the familiar. I look back at my memories of family vacations with disappointment, because as everyone else was wanting to go and do fun things, I was complaining about how I would rather be watching TV or playing my gameboy. Now as an adult, I understand how precious our experiences can be. I look out at a mountain and I appreciate the beauty of it. I think about the history that has taken place around it. I think about how other people might have experienced it. I get so much more from it than I ever would have as a child.

Same here. It simply comes from within. Everything now is so special because I'm aware how fleeting everything is.

Thanks for your comment. It resonated a lot with my experience.

It's do with living in the moment vs spending your time thinking about what you did or worrying about what the future might bring, IMHO.

We become way more prone to spend our time doing things like thinking about stuff we did (and how we miss it if it was good or could've done it better if it was bad) and worrying about what the future can bring (and not necessarily in grand terms: somethingas simple as "I have to get a haircut" which then goes one to "when will I have the time", then "but I need that time for X" and so on) as we grow older.

You absolutelly can still have some moments of wonder (for things as simple as how a cobweb looks with droplets of morning mist on it) but you need to be present there in mind also, not just in body, and not to not let some memory or concern rush in to take your mental attention away from the now.

I had a point in my life with a ton of anxiety and ended up learning Mindfulness (which is simply to try and not say anything to yourself in your mind, which is surprisingly hard to do for more than a few seconds) to stop the feeling (if you're not constantly looking back to something bad or fearing for something bad in the future you don't feel anxious about those things) and as a side effect I ended up with the habit of being more often present in the moment and that's how you just enjoy little wonders when you come across them.

Still, it's nowhere at the level one has as a kid.

Man, I don’t know, but this post was beautifully crafted, you sir are a poet.

Fully recommend the psychedelics BUT it's not for everyone.

Practice mindfulness through meditation.

Psychedelics do what that does but does so through explosive force, lol.

Mindfulness is so fundamentally critical to feeling alive again. That breeze still exists. The sound of the cicadas buzzing away is still there. The scent of rain still permeates.

Meditation isn't going "ohmmmmm🧘". It's a practice of clearing your mind, and living through your senses. Discerning your existence through means other than thought.

When you were a kid, you didn't have the capacity to only think like you do now. You were jumping between thought and raw sensory analysis. You were both free and grounded through your senses.

It's about finding a balance that as a kid you couldn't obtain, and that as an adult you have forsaken.

Good luck friend. Just know that you can get back to that.

Edit: I'd like to add that you practice until it's second nature, and you become much more aware as a result. You won't need to stop to smell those roses - they will grab your attention.

I understand what you mean, I have the same feeling - everything is a but less vivid now.

I am no expert, but my guess that is happening because you have much more experience with the world now. As we age, the number of things that will be completely new to us becomes smaller and smaller. We just have more experience, and even if we haven't seen/felt/heard something particular, chances are, that your brain still won't be completely surprised - it will be able to find some experiences that you have which are close to that new thing.

But when you are a kid - there is a whole world of things you didn't experience at all or didn't experience enough to understand fully. That's why everything was so vivid - there was a lot of "truly" new experiences.

Firstly I just want to say that this is really interesting post and I love that you've asked this question. Secondly, as someone who experienced child abuse I don't know where to even start in answering this question because as an adult I'm now in a space where I can actually feel my feelings and express them safely.

I think life is maybe similar to being in a long term relationship. There are times when every little thing life does annoys you or times where it's just eh and you realise you need to actively spice things up. And then there are times when you are completely overcome by joy thinking about how much you love life, how much you've been through together, and how excited you are to spend the rest of your lives together.

If you're looking for a suggestion on spicing things up I highly recommended jumping into some existential philosophy. It's like the intellectual equivalent of a roller coaster I guess.

I felt similar. Then I had a kid and seeing the world through their eyes brings much of it back. Nothing quite like the rush of emotions (and sleep deprivation) of being a parent to a young child.

Not my experience at all. Having a child is like being kicked in the balls every time you try to find your own inner child

Short comment because mobile: You've described a thing I've been thinking about and grasping to get back since maybe two or three years. Thank you.

Well firstly your senses do start dulling (eyesight, hearing), and secondly you have way more context on the world itself (the mortgage bond, climate change, pollution, family responsibilities, social media trolls, the fragility of bones and life, etc). So I suppose your brain is less focussed on the moment, and you've got a bit cynical about life ;-)

I accept that the way I looked at life and moments at 15, 25 and 50 are fairly different. Decisions I took at 25 were right for me then, but today I would have decided differently, but then I would not be where I am today either.

Part of it is looking back through rose-colored glasses. Sure, there was joy, but there was that time you stubbed your toe and you got so emotionally disregulated that you cried for an hour, or the time your parents put the wrong color socks on you and you screamed a bad word at them and refused to leave the house, or... etc.

You learned to regulate your emotions. That's mostly a good thing, but it also means that you learn to control yourself in the moment, and you don't tend to lose yourself in joy like you did as a child.

And that's OK. I enjoy things differently now, than I did then. Back then, when I played with a toy car, it gave me great joy but if something broke, or things didn't go my way, I also suffered uncontrollable anger and frustration. Today, when I take my TRX-4 trail truck out on the trails, I feel a different kind of joy that is mixed with intellectual understanding of the engineering of the machine, an appreciation of the beauty of the natural world that I didn't have as a child, etc. And if something breaks, it's not an emotional thing any more. I know I can fix it, I have the ability and the desire.

Heck, it's enjoyable to break things, take them apart, and fix them again. That certainly wasn't true when I was 6.

And if something breaks, it's not an emotional thing any more. I know I can fix it, I have the ability and the desire.

Fixing stuff breaking is honestly half the fun. Weird love hate thing.

I don't know about normal, but I have more than 50 years and not jaded yet - the dish soap making bubbles still delights me, the beautiful sky makes me stop and stare, the smell of the night blooming jasmine, the world is just so incredible I don't know how anybody can really get used to it. Like, the fact that you get to exist at all, with consciousness and a physical body, it's not something I can take for granted.

Now if you mean am I more busy or distracted now? I think again the answer is no but I didn't like childhood and have enjoyed being an adult.

I would suggest a dream journal and trying to lucid dream, if your waking self has lost its sense of wonder

See, and that guy is proof not everyone get's recessive depression. I wish you dear luck staying like this, dude.

the dish soap making bubbles still delights me

I'm guilty of being an old-ass adult and buying myself a disney bubble machine when I saw it on the spot for myself (and the dogs).

I can only speak from personal experience, but I feel much the same way you do. However, novelty still does it for me. And I think that's the explanation for the gradual drop-off. When you're young, everything is new. By the time you're older, you've seen it all, and so those little spikes of novelty are few and far between.

Things can't be fresh and new(ish) experiences forever. Welcome to entropy of the mind. However, there are always more fresh experiences out there for you to marvel at, you just have to find them.

Yeah I would say it's definitely normal. I just try to get out there and push myself to do new things, and really be present and thankful for the beautiful things that I do experience.

the wonder can still exist. the pressure of adult life is so damn clouding though. what helps for me (and my wife) is solo travel, we have both found it to be one of the best things we ever decided to do. a week or so to yourself to completely forget all about work, home I have found to be extremely helpful. Do exactly what you want, take your time, and you can find beauty in the everyday things again. If its possible of course

Solo travel can really teach you a lot about yourself. I had a great time living in my car for 3 weeks but I learned that I got lonely as hell. Until I met a couple friends in Nevada to help put things in perspective.

Hey OP, a lot of people are suggesting psilocybin or other psychedelics. If you're interested you can ask questions about that in the !magic@wizanons.dev community. I moderate it but there are psychonauts there that know about this stuff who are friendly and helpful.

Joining. The therapeutic ketamine sub was one I’d recently joined and enjoyed before snoopocalypse. I’m in.

My friend was wondering how someone else could even get a hold of mushrooms or spores in secret, without having to use the mail, if some other rando was crazy enough to consider microdosing?

There is definitely nothing wrong with you. There's a reason the phrase "childlike wonder" exists. It's normal for the newness and novelty of everything to amaze a child, and it's normal for experiences to become routine to adults. Even if you do experience something new, there's a very good chance that it's similar enough to something you've experienced before. Brains are designed to find patterns and relate things back to past experiences as part of a survival instinct.

But there is also nothing wrong with people who don't have the experience I described above. The above experience is probably more common for people with neurotypical brains. I've never been able to relate to "not feeling" or "feeling less", even though it seems to be quite common. My feelings are always a live wire, dialed up to 100 (and honestly, I'm over people - including doctors - telling me how nice that must be). But there's nothing "wrong" with my brain. It just functions differently, with different strengths and weaknesses. It's like comparing a car and a motorbike. They have different driving sensations, require different skill sets and safety precautions, but they're both vehicles that will get you from A to B.

Due to climate change, there are less roses to smell. You could just be coping with the fact that you are aware of more pressing issues nowadays.

I think I get it what you mean.. you are feeling like you are watching a tv show in your perspective, like you are not the one who acts, you are just watching? One of my friemds had a similar experience, please tell me if I understand it the wrong way.

That's called having a derealization/depersonalisation crisis, not getting older lol.

Had that when I was 18, tell your friend to get checked

Thanks for your help I'll definately tell him

I think it’s normal to an extent however complete absence of enjoyment could also be a sign of depression as others have pointed out.

The fact that you have specific scenarios that used to elicit joy is good; try to remember those and focus on those situations next time you experience them. You may just brush it off as a pointless exercise or you may find that you’re able to relive some of those feelings.

I believe there is a lot of power in just stopping to sniff the roses as they say. Taking momentary breaks to just be in the present moment, or think about how you’re feeling.

You have more experiences, true, but some things can help you feel like you're experiencing them for the first time. Any experience with psychedelics?

Psychedelics made me realise i had forgotten the novelty of childhood. If i had never tried them, maybe id never have realised..

Psychedelics have helped me to retain those feelings long after the trip has ended (some indefinitely, at least at time of writing this). I never appreciated a cool breeze until one of those experiences (I always wanted to cover up and shield myself from it before). Now, whenever I feel a cold wind or cool breeze, I appreciate it so much more because of that past experience.

The older you get, the more you are in your head because of all the responsibilities weighing you down.

I think learning to let go and meditation is the way to go, so we can be more in the moment and appreciate the environment around us.

This is definitely part of it. I could be appreciating the bright yellow of budding flowers on trees, but im also in the middle of making sure lunch is on time, we have food for lunch, my car is parked legally, i havent forgotten anything important at work.. Responsibilities take over brain space when its you in charge of maintaining peace

I've gotten back better at it. First you've got to recognize the situation and the then you'll need to stop and enjoy it. As a kid you had plenty of time to enjoy feelings, but as an adult you have to take your time to do it.

On top of what everyone else said (I especially super agree with experiencing new things), I can recommend art, either experiencing it, or making it. Art is basically all about trying to capture or recapture a specific feeling, by heightening it.

Maybe the smell of roses doesn't move you much after all these years, but a well crafted poem, music, movie, or some video games (I guess Flower comes to mind for this particular example) can reignite some of that lost wonder. And if experiencing them isn't enough, you can always go after those feelings yourself, and make your own art, trying to bring back the sensations you miss the most. Heck, learning to cook an old dish a relative or friend used to make can evoke long forgotten feelings, "art" is a vague term.

I'm both getting older and suffering from really bad depression, and this sort of thing has been helping me cope with this loss of feelings.

I get exactly what you’re saying but I’m not sure I have a great answer for you. I think it’s all about dopamine. Smoking cannabis reconnects me with that childlike feeling. Also, having a kid really helped me. Seeing the world through her eyes as she experienced childhood is amazing. Before kid I felt like I couldn’t really enjoy anything like I could before without drugs. I’m not sure how much of that is depression and how much is just getting older.

I had come to the same conclusion, that I could never feel again like I did when I was a kid, that adult life was just inherently drab and lacking in feeling. But meditation did help, so I wouldn't rule that out if you could work it into your routine for a while.

What kind of meditation did you try? I found the simple kind most helpful: just to sit and pay attention to breathing and whatever comes along, and don't pursue thoughts once I notice them. It helped me with what you describe. I had basically decided that life turned grey when you became an adult, and all the thrill of experience was left behind in my youth. Through meditation I discovered I could still experience like I did when I was a kid, if I could experience without immediately going off into thinking about it. But I did meditate for a while before this started emerging. I never found the guided meditations or envisioning meditations to be particularly helpful, just sitting attending to ordinary experience.

I can't speak to whether you're clinically depressed and need some other help, but it might be worth continuing with the meditation alongside whatever else you try. I had given up on antidepressants too but eventually found a kind that worked. Now I continue the meditation but also take antidepressants when things take a real downturn. I hope you find something that helps.

I am lucky in the sense that I like specific things; and the feeling of liking them hasn't faded. However, the phenomenon you're likely pointing to is simply being more jaded as an adult

For me, it’s about context and scope. The wide open wonder of my youth has been replaced by little epiphanies of experience. A bite of really good food, or music, or a great joke can bring me a startling amount of joy. A lot of my awe has also been replaced by satisfaction and appreciation. Getting old sucks undeniably, but there are compensations.

I'll just mention my own experience. I struggled with depression and/or anxiety for basically my entire life from as early as I can remember and I definitely didn't have the kinds of joyful childhood experiences you describe. However now that I'm older and my anxiety is being properly treated (medication) I've definitely had more / stronger feelings of joy with simple experiences. All this is to say that I think it might be a depression thing, not a age thing.

Everything felt wondrous to me after I got out of an abusive marriage bruised but alive. It’s not that I feel more, but the realization that I am able to feel at all amplifies the intensity of my positive feelings. Do you feel like you’re trapped in a rut at all? Or maybe you’ve convinced yourself that all the best moments have already past? Sending positive vibes to you!

Not that you feel less. But when you are young the experiences are brand new and the feelings novel and so the memories are stronger. As you get older you can still have these memories of strong feelings, such as your wedding, the birth of a child, or traveling but those novel experiences are fewer and farther between as you age