I get the keep my mind and memories, so I'm not some dumb zombie going babbling "brrrrlll" here and there, seeking brains. I'm fairly powerful so I can pull out my own weight, enough to become the necromancer's right arm. And if it comes to the worst I can always backstab the necromancer and become the boss, as typically lichs have their own necromancy.
Objectively the best answer. Plus, as long as you hide your phylactery well, there's not much the necromancer can do to keep you in line.
I'd expect my phylactery to be with the necromancer at the start, for exactly this reason. So I think that a lot of my job in my first days [years?] as an undead is to get their trust so I can: replace my phylactery with a copy, hide the original, and proclaim my independence.
You know you have to feed a soul to your phylactery like every few days. Who’s gonna get got?
Prisoners.
Is your Phylactry also a notebook where you write their names?
Yeah. I wish that my phylactery was just "hide it somewhere and pretend that it doesn't exist", but bloody Light doesn't let me have my way, got to write a name every 13 days.
Do souls have sizes, like "you need at least the soul of a medium sized dog or pig"?
Because if every soul is worth equally much, just set an anthill on fire and be done for the foreseeable future.
Of course, as your next course of action, you should make up for the damage done to your local eco system, but that should be doable within the powers and lifespan of a lich.
This EcoLich build definitely sounds like the way to go.
Circle of Undeath Druid?
Pedophiles, Rapists and evil people who cannot be reformed
Can liches shape-shift, if so I want to become one so I can swap my bodies sex
Probably, given that they're good spell casters. You could for example cast "alter self", and look like your desired sex. The main problem is that those spells are typically short-lived, they last minute~hours, so after the time ends you're again a skeleton or decaying corpse.
A vampire. Since it’s a necromancer raising me, instead of another vampire, I won’t be enthralled and will have free will.
Then there’s all the wonderful abilities and the fact that I’ll still look good for an undead (it’s a pretty movie vampire, not one of those creepy ones)
Glitter skin and all
You sonuvabeech
First - pretty movie vampires were pretty humans before they got vampired. Second - why in the fuck would a necromancer raise a vampire with free will? Face it 'pretty' boy, you'll be stuck in a cave trying to kill adventurers who never visit. You'll be talking to rats after the first month of solitude. You'll lose your undeath virginity to a lost mountain goat. The first time a girl will be around your cave, she'll notice how it smells like a homeless man who hasn't changed his underwear in years and avoid the cave entirely. You'll feel like spiking yourself in the heart because you had gotten used to the smell, but you won't even be able to do that - you're a necromancer's minion. You have no choice in how you live or die. You're just a smelly guardian of an uninteresting cave.
I'll take undead drake. I'm doing some epic shit before I die, not just guarding some cave.
Those are a lot of assumptions you're making:
No one said the necromancer wanted a minion
No one mentioned anything about a smelly cave
I never said I'm a boy
Maybe I would love the solitude
Anyway, no one said that the necromancer needed a guardian for some smelly cave. I like to think the necromancer got lonely and just wanted a friend to chat with.
Even if what you say is true, cave guarding is for low-level chumps like skeletons or ghosts. Vampires are middle-management at least :)
Also, how on earth can you tell me I have to look exactly like I did when I was alive - which is still pretty :P - while you apparently can transform from human corpse to a drake?
Following your rules, the necromancer would be trying to assemble a drake using human bones, creating some weird facsimile of a dragon. The "drake" would spend its time jumping out from behind rocks shouting "blergh", while falling apart at the slightest touch. Wishing some adventurer would put it out of its tortured existence instead of just pointing and laughing.
while you apparently can transform from human corpse to a drake
Did you just assume my species?
Fair enough :)
SPOOKY SKELLY BOI
That appears to send shivers down my spine.
SPOOKED YA!
That has made me shake and shudder in surprise.
Wasn't that how Mitch McConnell was born?
He's more of a turtle golem.
He's a master of disguise
Whatever type Jesus was. Folks seem to like that kind of undead.
Undead Deity is in fact a great answer to the question.
So any animal is fair game? In which case, dodo. You MFs ate us into oblivion, I'm gonna come back with species worth of pent up rage and an undead thirst for blood.
Edit: in retrospect I now realise a dodo would be super easy to send back to the underworld :-(. I'm gonna be... checks deadliest thing notes, a car.
Lich would be fun
I know it's probably too on brand, but maybe some kind of monstrous wolf hell beast thing. Maybe with a skull as a head and dripping flesh.
If I'm going to be a mindless killing machine, may as well have some fun with it. Better than being a slow shambling skeleton or zombie at any rate.
I'll be that guy, and say abomination. The more twisted the better. Like a mouth in my belly, extra arm on my back kind of twisted. I'll learn to enjoy striking terror in my victims' hearts. Afterlife will be dope.
Ghostflame Dragon.
Lich. The power that other famous examples like Darth Cheney and Henry Kissinger had is just too tempting.
Something non-sentient please, I was enjoying nonexistence
Jesus, for sure. Not that he came back.
But that is what the Good News(tm) is all about for the evangelicals! He is already HERE! Parts of him are probably fossilized or petrified by now. And the rest of him is just dust. And dust never goes away. Why, I might even have a particle of Jesus dust in my yogurt right now! Halleluhah.
If I'm an undead undead, do I get to live?
Depends on how your summoned I guess.
If you disregard supernatural powers of undead, it's different depending on who you ask anyway, I'd go with a skeleton.
I'm pretty lazy, so... spectre. Having no body to haul around will make things easier.
The painkiller thing where you can tear off your head and throw it at someone and then still control it well enough to bite them
I don't remember that being in the original Painkiller, though maybe it's just been too long, but are you maybe thinking of a dullahan?
The Dullahan (Irish: Dubhlachan; dúlachán, /ˈduːləˌhɑːn/) is a type of legendary creature in Irish folklore. He is depicted as a headless rider on a black horse, or as a coachman, who carries his own head.
Wait, no no - I think I was thinking of NeverDead, not Painkiller.
A capybara in a remote location that won't see human development within my new lifetime. Just chillin' with my interspecies homies.
Wasn't talking animals. I meant what type of undead would you come back as. xD
An undead capybara in a remote location that won't see human development within my new lifetime. Just chillin' with my interspecies undead homies.
@Vanth@reddthat.com: E.g. zombie capybara, vampiric capybara, spectral capybara, skeletal capybara, etc.
Dracolich
I'd come back as a wraith, preferably shadow of mordor / war style with domination powers.
Otherwise, a lich assuming I could have lich magic and evolve
Darksign'd undead. Sure I'll hollow out eventually, but for now lets do some jolly co-operation.
What is this? Some kind of druid / necromancer dual class?
Nah, I meant what type of undead. I edited the post title, sorry.
Wraith, so that I can go through walls, carry a big-ass scythe, and upgrade from generating Fear to generating Terror, so I can exploit that juicy morale penalty even if the enemy unit is immune to Fear.
I'd go as more-or-less human ala the movie Warm Bodies. Just because I'm dead doesn't mean I can't have a nice romantic fling!
Arch lich?
Probably like a skunk or something idk.
Hmmm,an undead deity, undead tarrasque, or, the pact to summon me would be the life of the summoner and he summons me as his undead self.
I like all of these options
Skeleton:
When the hero comes into the tomb, I want it to be dead first, no faffing about with boss fight (which they always win) BS.
I like the musical nature of their bones.
I already am one, sort of...
If there are no restrictions other than "undead", I suppose that one can probably min-max this to be some sort of undead god.
I have little familiarity with Dungeons & Dragons' Greyhawk setting, so I don't know if "being Vecna" in particular is a good idea, but it illustrates the point that that game clearly has undead gods.
Whatever kind of undead Raziel counts as. Double undead vampire = soul devouring wraith? Hey, manifesting on both spiritual and physical realms is neat.
One that can shape-shift so I can change my bodies sex to the one that aligns with my gender identity and be fully conscious and self aware but I'd also line to have free will
I'd also want to have all powerful magic as well
Tiamat
Is not undead?
Oh hell no. A fumbled 1, shambling back into sweet death-death within moments, possibly dragging him with me.
I would be the kind of ghost that could possess people so I could bang their wives using their bodies but somehow when I cum, the possessed penis shoots out my actual sperm so I can forever keep my sainted genome alive
I guess a skeleton. Id be reach on account of all the bones
Alhoon
The kind that instantly kills the necromancer, then returns to being dead.
I'm going to be a lich.
I get the keep my mind and memories, so I'm not some dumb zombie going babbling "brrrrlll" here and there, seeking brains. I'm fairly powerful so I can pull out my own weight, enough to become the necromancer's right arm. And if it comes to the worst I can always backstab the necromancer and become the boss, as typically lichs have their own necromancy.
Objectively the best answer. Plus, as long as you hide your phylactery well, there's not much the necromancer can do to keep you in line.
I'd expect my phylactery to be with the necromancer at the start, for exactly this reason. So I think that a lot of my job in my first days [years?] as an undead is to get their trust so I can: replace my phylactery with a copy, hide the original, and proclaim my independence.
You know you have to feed a soul to your phylactery like every few days. Who’s gonna get got?
Prisoners.
Is your Phylactry also a notebook where you write their names?
Yeah. I wish that my phylactery was just "hide it somewhere and pretend that it doesn't exist", but bloody Light doesn't let me have my way, got to write a name every 13 days.
Do souls have sizes, like "you need at least the soul of a medium sized dog or pig"?
Because if every soul is worth equally much, just set an anthill on fire and be done for the foreseeable future.
Of course, as your next course of action, you should make up for the damage done to your local eco system, but that should be doable within the powers and lifespan of a lich.
This EcoLich build definitely sounds like the way to go.
Circle of Undeath Druid?
Pedophiles, Rapists and evil people who cannot be reformed
Can liches shape-shift, if so I want to become one so I can swap my bodies sex
Probably, given that they're good spell casters. You could for example cast "alter self", and look like your desired sex. The main problem is that those spells are typically short-lived, they last minute~hours, so after the time ends you're again a skeleton or decaying corpse.
A vampire. Since it’s a necromancer raising me, instead of another vampire, I won’t be enthralled and will have free will.
Then there’s all the wonderful abilities and the fact that I’ll still look good for an undead (it’s a pretty movie vampire, not one of those creepy ones)
Glitter skin and all
You sonuvabeech
First - pretty movie vampires were pretty humans before they got vampired. Second - why in the fuck would a necromancer raise a vampire with free will? Face it 'pretty' boy, you'll be stuck in a cave trying to kill adventurers who never visit. You'll be talking to rats after the first month of solitude. You'll lose your undeath virginity to a lost mountain goat. The first time a girl will be around your cave, she'll notice how it smells like a homeless man who hasn't changed his underwear in years and avoid the cave entirely. You'll feel like spiking yourself in the heart because you had gotten used to the smell, but you won't even be able to do that - you're a necromancer's minion. You have no choice in how you live or die. You're just a smelly guardian of an uninteresting cave.
I'll take undead drake. I'm doing some epic shit before I die, not just guarding some cave.
Those are a lot of assumptions you're making:
Anyway, no one said that the necromancer needed a guardian for some smelly cave. I like to think the necromancer got lonely and just wanted a friend to chat with. Even if what you say is true, cave guarding is for low-level chumps like skeletons or ghosts. Vampires are middle-management at least :)
Also, how on earth can you tell me I have to look exactly like I did when I was alive - which is still pretty :P - while you apparently can transform from human corpse to a drake?
Following your rules, the necromancer would be trying to assemble a drake using human bones, creating some weird facsimile of a dragon. The "drake" would spend its time jumping out from behind rocks shouting "blergh", while falling apart at the slightest touch. Wishing some adventurer would put it out of its tortured existence instead of just pointing and laughing.
Did you just assume my species?
Fair enough :)
SPOOKY SKELLY BOI
That appears to send shivers down my spine.
SPOOKED YA!
That has made me shake and shudder in surprise.
Wasn't that how Mitch McConnell was born?
He's more of a turtle golem.
He's a master of disguise
Whatever type Jesus was. Folks seem to like that kind of undead.
Undead Deity is in fact a great answer to the question.
A bowl of petunias.
Again?
Oh no.
Agrajag, is that you?
So any animal is fair game? In which case, dodo. You MFs ate us into oblivion, I'm gonna come back with species worth of pent up rage and an undead thirst for blood.
Edit: in retrospect I now realise a dodo would be super easy to send back to the underworld :-(. I'm gonna be... checks deadliest thing notes, a car.
Lich would be fun
I know it's probably too on brand, but maybe some kind of monstrous wolf hell beast thing. Maybe with a skull as a head and dripping flesh.
If I'm going to be a mindless killing machine, may as well have some fun with it. Better than being a slow shambling skeleton or zombie at any rate.
Perhaps you would enjoy this.
I certainly did.
Blue whale.
"oh no, not again"
I'll be that guy, and say abomination. The more twisted the better. Like a mouth in my belly, extra arm on my back kind of twisted. I'll learn to enjoy striking terror in my victims' hearts. Afterlife will be dope.
Ghostflame Dragon.
Lich. The power that other famous examples like Darth Cheney and Henry Kissinger had is just too tempting.
Something non-sentient please, I was enjoying nonexistence
Jesus, for sure. Not that he came back.
But that is what the Good News(tm) is all about for the evangelicals! He is already HERE! Parts of him are probably fossilized or petrified by now. And the rest of him is just dust. And dust never goes away. Why, I might even have a particle of Jesus dust in my yogurt right now! Halleluhah.
If I'm an undead undead, do I get to live?
Depends on how your summoned I guess.
If you disregard supernatural powers of undead, it's different depending on who you ask anyway, I'd go with a skeleton.
I'm pretty lazy, so... spectre. Having no body to haul around will make things easier.
The painkiller thing where you can tear off your head and throw it at someone and then still control it well enough to bite them
I don't remember that being in the original Painkiller, though maybe it's just been too long, but are you maybe thinking of a dullahan?
Wait, no no - I think I was thinking of NeverDead, not Painkiller.
A capybara in a remote location that won't see human development within my new lifetime. Just chillin' with my interspecies homies.
Wasn't talking animals. I meant what type of undead would you come back as. xD
An undead capybara in a remote location that won't see human development within my new lifetime. Just chillin' with my interspecies undead homies.
@Vanth@reddthat.com: E.g. zombie capybara, vampiric capybara, spectral capybara, skeletal capybara, etc.
Dracolich
I'd come back as a wraith, preferably shadow of mordor / war style with domination powers.
Otherwise, a lich assuming I could have lich magic and evolve
Darksign'd undead. Sure I'll hollow out eventually, but for now lets do some jolly co-operation.
What is this? Some kind of druid / necromancer dual class?
Nah, I meant what type of undead. I edited the post title, sorry.
Wraith, so that I can go through walls, carry a big-ass scythe, and upgrade from generating Fear to generating Terror, so I can exploit that juicy morale penalty even if the enemy unit is immune to Fear.
Ghost. Flying, intangibility, spooky telekinesis ... Sounds great.
I'd go as more-or-less human ala the movie Warm Bodies. Just because I'm dead doesn't mean I can't have a nice romantic fling!
Arch lich?
Probably like a skunk or something idk.
Hmmm,an undead deity, undead tarrasque, or, the pact to summon me would be the life of the summoner and he summons me as his undead self.
I like all of these options
Skeleton:
If there are no restrictions other than "undead", I suppose that one can probably min-max this to be some sort of undead god.
I have little familiarity with Dungeons & Dragons' Greyhawk setting, so I don't know if "being Vecna" in particular is a good idea, but it illustrates the point that that game clearly has undead gods.
Whatever kind of undead Raziel counts as. Double undead vampire = soul devouring wraith? Hey, manifesting on both spiritual and physical realms is neat.
One that can shape-shift so I can change my bodies sex to the one that aligns with my gender identity and be fully conscious and self aware but I'd also line to have free will
I'd also want to have all powerful magic as well
Tiamat
Is not undead?
Oh hell no. A fumbled 1, shambling back into sweet death-death within moments, possibly dragging him with me.
I would be the kind of ghost that could possess people so I could bang their wives using their bodies but somehow when I cum, the possessed penis shoots out my actual sperm so I can forever keep my sainted genome alive
I guess a skeleton. Id be reach on account of all the bones
Alhoon
The kind that instantly kills the necromancer, then returns to being dead.