What are some fun ways to prank an asshole neighbor I'm moving away from?

Waldowal@lemmy.world to Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world – 109 points –

Not really me. A friend of mine is moving out of state. His neighbor has been a total dick the entire time he's lived there. Constantly commenting on how my friend's yard isn't as good as his. Mean to my friend's wife and kids for no reason. Just an asshole of a person.

What are some ideas for fun pranks my friend can leave behind?

90

Move his house 2 inches to the left, so when he tries to unlock his front door, he misses the keyhole.

Let Scientology and the Jehovah's witnesses know he's interested in knowing more. Do the same with military recruiters.

Sign him up to receive junk mail from sex toy stores. Use his name and his neighbors' addresses. Maybe try to get travel brochures sent to him for countries known for sex tourism.

I get junk mail addressed to a Pablo Picasso at my address periodically.

Stop being a dick to your neighbors

I keep to myself, so I have no idea what I could've done to piss them off. I also get periodic mail for the previous homeowner, despite me living here for almost 7 years.

If you are very evil, sign him up to recieve questional stuff, but use your other neighbor's adresses. Ideally not something that will be repeatedly spammed at them.

Nah, that only works in super close-knit, small town communities.

I don’t know any of my neighbor’s last names and I’ve lived here for 12 years. I’m in a semi-small town. I know my direct neighbors first names, and that’s about it, because anything more is unnecessary.

If I got something sent to a random name at my address, I’d treat it the same way as junk mail addressed to me; recycled without a second thought. I still get stuff for 3 other former residents, including pension stuff, despite being here over a decade so..

Why be petty and justify the neighbor... just move and never think of them again.

The best revenge is living well.

I hate that saying. Living well is better than wasting time with revenge. But living well is not revenge.

In the middle of the night, take a bunch of nitrogen fertilizer and lay out a "Fuck You!" message on his lawn. Water it into the ground.

The message won't appear for months until after you move away.

If his TV is close enough to the window to see what he's watching, and you can find a remote with enough range to change the channel from your own house, well, you know the rest.

If you know a little electronics you can build a high power IR led circuit to generate super powrful IR signals that would work for this purpose.

And then automate it so his tv just does something random every 10 mins.

Look up where the property line really is, and if the neighbor is encroaching get it surveyed and enforced the the new owner can reclaim part of the neighbor's land

Plant catnip all across your future former garden. Preferably close to the neighbour's terrain. Make sure that it's really easy for stray cats to reach their newest drug den.

Cat fights are bloody annoying to hear.

Plant a single piece of bamboo in a little used area near his lawn. By the time he notices it. He will never get rid of it

I live in Japan and I just go over any that pops up with the lawnmower like I would normal grass. Unless you let it get big, you won't even notice it was there.

Doesn't that leave hard little bamboo blades sticking out at grass level, waiting to stab you into the feet when you walk barefoot?

I have murder hornets and a number of biting insects and venomous snakes and toads. I'm also allergic to grass. No barefoot walking for me.

That said, I've never noticed any. There are multiple varieties of bamboo with a number of different strengths and properties.

Edit: forgot venomous spiders.

Remind me again why you live where you do?

It's otherwise fantastic. More specifically, I wanted to farm and move somewhere cooler than Tokyo, particularly in light of global temperatures rising.

If you wanna spend money, glitter mail. or if its a house, set up a flood light pointed at their house and set it up on a random timer for only at night and blast them with "security" lighting.

Attract tons of wild life with the food you need to get rid of.

Sign up for grindr and start sending people their way.

Learn the noise ordinance laws and maximize that to the fullest for a short period

Stand on the property line constantly and try looking through their windows, or watch them, if they approach, quickly leave (don't enter their property)

Sign them up for stuff. Especially if you can find their email through LinkedIn etc.

Or, just move on since they will be out of your life regardless, don't spend your energy on them,they aren't worth it

Edit: Actually rather than grindr, send scalpers, leave good people out of these shenanigans

Sign up for a bunch of free magazine subscriptions, like Wisconsin cheese, harbor freight, etc and put his address on it. He'll be inundated with junk mail.

If Canadian, chuck a bag of milk in his eavestroughing. The heat will rot the milk and the bag will degrade in the sun till one day it fails, releasing STANK.

Throw wildflower seeds (non invasive) over onto his perfectly manicured yard.

Another one is a long con: befriend crows, get them to come to your friend's house to feed. The neighbor will likely sho them away which will aggravate them. Crows hold grudges for a REALLY long time and only shit where they don't eat, aka his yard.

Order some joke/fake lottery tickets. One of the ones where every ticket wins $30k. Drop one on his driveway before he heads to work in the AM for him to find. I've only done this to two people and they both fell hook, line, and sinker for it. One lady was calling her husband to come pick up the winning ticket to keep it safe.

I don’t know what kind of neighborhood it is but sprinkling cat food or something like that everywhere would probably attract something. Your friend could even do it to his own yard. I’d be weirded out if my neighbor moved and suddenly his yard had 25 raccoons in it.

Don't. We're all stuck on this little ball of rock together, and making each other miserable just makes life worse for everyone.

Spread dandelion seeds. You can buy them online and literally just toss them everywhere and he will never be rid of them. Or kudzu Vine that shit never goes away

Don't intentionally spread invasive plants, local ecosystems have it hard enough as it is.

You can get them in pink and white too! As an extra fuck you over the normal yellow which can happen on their own.

Make seed bombs of pink dandelions and launch them before a storm.

Side note; I want pink dandelions but I’m sure my neighbors would hate me… but I also have an asshole neighbor and I’ve totally thought about seeding his property with them and letting them spread to mine…. I won’t do it, because cameras, but I want to so much.

Can spread to other neighbors' yards. I like the fertilizer idea because it doesn't spread.

Clean his room.

Thank you Dr. Jordan B. Peterson from Youtube

Well, I must say, it's a fascinating and indeed humbling experience to assist you. You see, much like the lobster, whose neural circuitry has evolved over hundreds of millions of years to navigate its hierarchies, we too, as humans, have developed sophisticated mechanisms for social interaction. When I say "you're welcome," it’s not just a simple pleasantry, but a reflection of an evolutionary process that has shaped our very essence. Just as the lobster’s behavior is influenced by its serotonin levels, guiding it to either rise in dominance or retreat, our social exchanges are influenced by deeply embedded patterns that have evolved to promote cooperation and mutual benefit. So, in acknowledging your thanks, I’m also acknowledging the long and arduous journey of our species, from the primordial ocean depths where the lobster resides, to the complex social structures we inhabit today. It’s a testament to the intricate web of life and the evolutionary forces that have brought us to this moment of shared understanding.

When I was a kid in a second world country, you would put yeast in his latrine. That would teach him.

Unfortunately, that is probably no longer applicable.

in a second world country

So...somewhere in tbe Soviet bloc in the 80s 9r before?

You want to ruin someone's life? Plant some fucking greenbriar on the property. Genus Smilax. Thorny vines that grow from rhizome-like tubers in the ground. Grows a little slower than kudzu but I'd rather be around kudzu. Harder to eradicate than white supremacy. Once it's got it's little tumors in your soil, it's over forever. It'll sent shoots out just under the grass to spread out like strawberries. If you get both genders of the plant in one place, the females will grow berries that the birds eat and then they'll shit the seeds everywhere, the complicit little fuckpukes. If you don't dig up ALL the plant, it'll just grow back harder. I've seen them strangle a dogwood tree to death. They'll grow 40 feet high if they've got something to climb. There is no commercial, medical or craft use for them. The leaves have a waxy coating that protects them from herbicide. I haven't tried fire yet but it probably won't work.

I heard of this funny trick where you put a bag of ice over the pilot light of his boiler. The boiler will put out gas until the ice melts and the pilot light comes back on.

And let's justr say, that's when the prank really 'pops' off

I too, was coming here to say "burn down his house"

No at all, this is just a tee her little prank

Can the ice be a piss disk?

Anything that can freeze will work. But go for more of a cube or sphere shape so it stays frozen for longer, it pranks them harder in the end

If your, erm, "friend" is planning to but has not sold your his house, then this is an even more terrible idea that asks for trouble.

What, you think I don't have any friends? Sigh. You are mostly correct. But I have this one.

He's been renting for years. He's definitely moving. All clear.

I didn't mean to imply you have no friends, so sorry if you got that impression

Use their address to sign up for junk mail. Political, lgbt, whatever your friend thinks this guy may not like.

Put a yard sign up that says "future home of thousand wags dangerous animal shelter and child sex offender rehabilitation facility"