If you need a stargate, there is one outside of Ashland, Ohio off of I-71.

Flying Squid@lemmy.worldmod to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 909 points –
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A little irresponsible leaving it unguarded with the iris open.

Name one system lord that would have any use for Ohio....

JD Vance does wear a suspicious amount of eyeliner….

Fuck me how did I never even consider the guy who fucks couches might be a tape worm driving a people suit. Did RFK Jr know too much? Did the worms really eat his brain??

What if I told you to take a good long look at the entire republican party, and ask you to give me a single compelling arguement that these people are actually people?

What if I told you to take a good long look at the entire republican party, and ask you to give me a single compelling arguement that these people are actually people?

I thought they were the ones dehumanising their opponents?

People don't need to provide a compelling argument that they're people, even if you don't like them.

Ah its fine, the put it upside down so anyone who attempts to use it falls on their head!

Wasn't the iris something the military built after relocating the gate? If so maybe it was never found before. I mean it is in Ohio...

Yep. The iris is an SGC addition to the gate

The mechanical iris was a later addition, before that there was a stone cover. Without either anyone can come through from the other side.

The mechanical iris was a later addition, before that there was a stone cover. Without either anyone can come through from the other side.

It's been active and open for decades, but no one has ever arrived through it.
Cause it leads to just outside Ashland, Ohio off of I-71.

Ugh don't you hate it when an active connection blocks the use of the stargate network for everyone.

Truly a 90s moment.

Pretty useless without the DHD. Must be meant as a one way dumping gate to send people to Ohio.

TO Ohio? No, that can't be right. Who would design a transportation method of that technical marvel, and choose OHIO as it's destination?

They're after the cats.

See, he was right all along.

/s (just in case)

OOOOH! It all makes sense now!

They weren't talking about people from Haiti, they were talking about people from 8E. Planet 8E in their catalog of habitable worlds accessible by stargate.

Because those fuckers do eat dogs.

Just don't mention it on the conservative communities, otherwise it'll be the next conspiracy theory on sneaking voters into a swing state.

Read that as sand people to Ohio and thought, that’s a different fiction.

Fake fan, the Chevrons are in the wrong place, should be one at the top.

It can be rotated, no? Doesn't seem to be in a working state right now.

Works fine horizontally as we saw in Area 51, this one just isn’t mounted to a ramp. The real question is where’s the DHD

If I can figure out the hieroglyphics, we may be able to get the two stranded space-station-auts back into the space station. I just need to recalculate the jump coordinates using a simple DM and a hairpin...oh and also a small university lab that I'll get access to using the hairpin. Don't worry about the details.

But are we sure that's a Einstein–Rosen bridge portal device that allows for near-instantaneous teleportation across both interstellar and extragalactic distances?

Its location doesn't look instantaneously like a place in or even around Vancouver, BC.

But are we sure that's a Einstein–Rosen bridge portal device that allows for near-instantaneous teleportation across both interstellar and extragalactic distances?

No.

Uhhhhhhh, it's not. It's Ashland Ohio. It's not even the same country.

Here I go trying to explain my joke: The joke is that Stargates can only exist in or around Vancouver, because near enough the entirety of all Stargate TV series was filmed there.

Finally. A reason to go-to Ohio!

I'm fucking leaving this shit hole, deuces!

It may still not be a good enough reason to go to Ohio. Because before you go to another planet, you'll still have been to Ohio.

Says someone who's never been to Ohio before. Their state motto is "abandon hope all ye who enter here"

Ohio has drive-through liquor stores. As in a place where you drive into a little carport, stay in your car, they bring the booze to you, you pay, and drive off.

That should tell you a lot right there.

Bury that shit, have you learned nothin? There isn't even a console, meaning people can can dial in and we can't dial out.

It's ok, it's in Ohio. They can barely read English, let alone Ancient.

Edit: You downvoters don't understand. I'm in Indiana so I'm allowed to say that. I don't make the rules, I just obey them.

As someone also in Indiana, I'm surprised there's not a line of people just waiting on someone to dial in so they can just sprint through to wherever to get out of Ohio.

...not that Indiana is much better.

Oh Indiana is awful and no one should come here.

But I'm still allowed to shit on Ohio due to my being a Hoosier.

Indiana: At least we're not Ohio!

Can we just get a pair of signs at the border? “Welcome to Indiana/Ohio! At least we’re not Ohio/Indiana”

And while we’re at it let’s get Defiance Ohio a sign clarifying that they aren’t the punk band of the same name.

I'm debating on which sign would get vandalized first, lol

As a Hoosier who also did some schooling in Ohio, I would contribute to the fund for these signs.

And as a buckeye who did some growing up in indiana I would help put them up so long as I don’t have to spend any time in Indiana that isn’t on my way to Chicago.

You're just jealous because even our worst city is better than Youngstown.

Gary and Youngstown are equivalents. You’re just jealous because we have an equivalent to every city you have then a Detroit and Louisville.

Living in Ohio I'll just stand in the vortex. That's enough for me.

Ashland is really snooty so they probably can read.

Now all we need is a DHD, a MALP, and a power source, and we're in business.

And a Sgt Harriman for good measure.

With God All Things Are Possible, So now they are trying to lure aliens?

"Moooom, I want a real stargate!"

"We have a stargate at home":

It looks like it's missing the symbols. Probably out of service.