Do I have incredibly weak thumbs, or does this instruction exist on boxes just to mess with us?

AcornCarnage@lemmy.world to No Stupid Questions@lemmy.world – 500 points –
97

The Kraft Method

Note: this is a shit post. I still swear it is impossible.

https://imgur.io/gallery/yY59P

The post does not say that you will be able to penetrate with the index finger. It just recommends to place the finger that way.

while you kiss your ass goodbye, and the box of noodles and cheesy flavoring defeats you yet again

I feel the secret might be how the thumb and middle finger squeeze the sides of the box.

I'll try it out someday, but I probably won't report back. (Don't want to get your hopes up).

I used to just cut the top off of the box using a kitchen knife. I would start just below one of the corners, with the box on it's side, and I sawed through it.

I got some funny looks for that one when I first did it on autopilot around other people lmao.

You know that the serrated lines on the box aren't great when cutting the cardboard with a kitchen knife is legitimately easier. The blade wasn't even serrated.

I always go thumb from the top, so pretty much same position as photo 2. Still not happening.

See... what you're supposed to do... is... hold it between you're two hands. Kinda lie you're praying. jab your two thumbs into the tab, then pull outward and just rip the box in half. Alternatively, if you're the Hulk or something, you can just grab either end and rip it in half that way.

I just boil and eat the entire box like any normal person.

Most of the nutrients are in the rind, I'm aghast to learn that most people just throw the box away!

If it tastes like it looks on the package, a viable option. Has probably more nutritional value, too.

2 more...

The one that kills me is when the glue they use to close the box is stronger than the box itself, so you wind up just ripping it open.

I swear to God, in all my life I feel like it's only worked fewer than 5 times.

I think I've only got it twice. Maybe I should try harder

You're not extending your chi through your finger when you push. The instructions take that for granted, but they really should be more specific.

I tried extending my chi, but it just made my jar of salsa fall on the floor and shatter.

You didn’t expand your ki so you didn’t notice the chili fall. Idiot.

I think you’re confusing your chi with your penis.

I think you all just have weak thumbs. I've always opened them just as the package says to. Never had a problem.

As a kid, I would have thumb wrestling matches with my older brother, and sometimes, on weekends, I'd hitchhike. I used my thumbs a lot. I've had to replace 4 space bars on my keyboard.

Never skip thumb day.

It's possible, but it's a very high Dex roll.

Latest kitty litter I bought actually says "opens inward for easy pouring" 🙄. Worst part of the chore stabbing it with a finger and hooking the tab back through so it doesn't block all the litter.

Use a tool. Handle of butter knife, bottle opener. Anything sturdier than a finger those litter boxes are made out of something that masquerades as cardboard, don't believe those lies!

I too have been flummoxed by this obnoxious design choice.

90% of the time the whole box collapses before the perforation breaks.

I actually just recently, after years of frustration, figured out a technique that works. You squeeze the box near the opening so that it bulges out. Then you can poke it with your finger and rip the top open. Feels like gutting a fish, which I assume now is what they were going for.

I usually just knuckle-punch them in.

Companies do a really bad job at product testing when it comes to opening stuff. The best ones are where you damage the product because it's so hard to open. It's like they never thought to actually try using the stupid little pull tab they give us to actually open their own product.

there is nothing more infuriating than buying a jar of salsa from the store, and then trying to open it only to have the jar fly out of your hands and break into tiny pieces that you now have to clean up along with salsa all over your floor.

Why is everyone in this thread absolutely mangling jars of salsa

lmao I'm just trying to get the lid off! I twist, nothing happens, I twist harder - lid comes off and jar goes fucking flying.

If it’s a jar with a metal twist-to-open lid, you can get a butter knife or similar, and dent the edge of the lid with the back of the knife- doesn’t take a lot of force, but it makes opening the jar way easier.

I have done this before and it doesn't always work. They just get them on there so good and tight. I honestly just always make sure to open them over the counter now.

I find most accidents always happen when you try to give that extra oomph of force only to go too far. That's how I put my hand through a window once.

Instead of trying to dent the lid, you can relieve the inner pressure of any containers like the salsa with metal lids by taking a spoon and sticking it between the lid and bottle to try to pry the side of the lid away from the bottle to create just enough of a gap to equalize the pressure. You don't need to apply much pressure, you usually hear the pop of the lid when the pressure is equalized and then it should be much easier to open!

I just rip open the top of the box instead.

That's right, I'm a rebel.

I ignore these instructions entirely and just open the flappy bits. I am an agent of chaos.

How?!

The glue is usually stronger than the box. I usually just resort to ripping off the top quarter of the box.

You know, I was just thinking earlier this week that of all the technologies we have, it's weird how much we struggle with perforation.

This sort of package used to be much easier to open when I was growing up back in the 60s and 70s. I don’t know why, but packaging has gotten significantly worse since then.

If those companies are like the one I worked for, they likely outsource their packaging production. The company that makes boxes for tampons might also make boxes for pizza restaurants, certain cleaning tools, cookies, baby food, etc.

The vendors that my previous company purchased from were cheeky buggers. One of our products that was only sold to retailers included a display shelf. These things used to be pretty sturdy. Now, they collapse under less than half of the weight that they used to have. The vendor denied it vehemently, and I think they are still lying about it to this day.

This particular vendor has a HUGE monopoly on cardboard, so it would be difficult for them to find another process suddenly. I hope they do, but who knows. They might hypothetically have a contract that they can't break for another number of years. Yay.

I'm not saying any of this to say that it's ok or good, but a lot of people can't see what's happening inside these manufacturing facilities. A lot of this is hush hush.

One of the bigger factors is that in order to cut costs, they're using thinner and thinner material for the box. So they used to be strong enough to withstand the force other than at the perforation. Now the same perforation is stronger than the boxes' crush strength

Good God, the number of products where someone spent the time and effort to design in "systems" for opening/using the package, which are utterly ineffectual is mind boggling.

Did a flimsy cardboard box ever need some special tear tab to begin with?? Hell no, just glue the flap shut and we will open it like every other food box on the planet.

Shit that is infuriating.

I got a different brand of Mac and cheese once and it opened right up using the same instructions.

I feel like the name brand is just messing with people.

no kidding the last box of mac'n'cheese i opened, that was the TOUGHEST spot on the box, i just ripped the lid off

I have pretty strong thumbs and generally just end up tearing off most of the top and being pissed at the stupid design.

I thought that's how it was supposed to work?

You're supposed to use your thumb to lift that flap, as instructed, not try to punch a hole in it. Start at the side.

As instructed: 'insert thumb'.

I don't think I am the only one thinking inserting on a flat fragile surface means: "punch hole".

If it had some cavity for your thumb to be inserted in it would make more sense.

"Grip corner and lift"?

Yeah I get it .. but yeah they meant like insert in-between the flaps. That said not sure what wording I would use there.

How is this mac? I've never had it, but I love (and hate) the Kraft stuff.

Used to love kraft dinner. Til the big change. The one where their advertising campaign was that no one even noticed... Can't stand it any more. Probably for the best, we used to eat a certainly unhealthy amount before. Like 3-4 meals a week, whether lunch or part of supper.

It just tastes like burnt cheddar now. Looked all over for a replacement, saw so many people claiming other products or recipes that taste "just like" the old KD. There are none. Those people are wrong. Either they are unwittingly non-tasters and thus unable to factor that into their endorsements, or they are aware they are wrong but are hoping to sell a product anyway.

There is no substitute, it will never be what it was, we have to accept it will never be again. And hopefully with it out of our lives, it will eventually find it's way out of our minds. Can only console myself knowing that it was basically a drug that I probably am better off without... but man was it ever a good drug. Just a box full of comfort, with no immediate downside. I would probably invite it right back if I ever did exist again...

Lol I relate to your love of a comfort garbage Mac and cheese AND unhealthy consumption of it.

Curious how long ago it was and if you ever tried the kraft thick and creamy? I don't really eat much of it anymore but we always have that on hand for in case we want a frozen chicken strips + side kinda lazy night.

I don't remember exactly how long ago it was now, somewhere in the 5-10 years ago range. There are some varieties that don't taste as bad, but there are none that taste as good as it used to.

Ah okay thank you! I haven't noticed a change but I think I had a gap between childhood and adulthood where I didn't have it when it changed. And when I started eating it again it was only the thick and creamy cuz the regular was so runny.

Creamier, I think it has more cheese products and even less cheese. I like it though for something quick and easy.

You have to grunt while you’re doing it like in karate.

Ahhh. See, I usually couple my attempts with something like "you God damned piece of fucking shit just fucking open why do they even put these stupid fucking things on here." I'll try just grunting though.

See that’s your problem. Too many syllables. You need one swift grunt to concentrate all your energy.

I just started doing one stab with a knife years ago and never looked back.

I keep a knife handy just for the satisfaction of stabbing these annoying boxes. It’s rather cathartic.

Haha. Now that you mention it, I only reach for a knife when they really piss me off. Usually I just open it like a normal box.

It's probably easier to make it from scratch than to open it there. Actually it's pretty much the same amount of work to make it from scratch vs a box.

Are you trying to break through the side of the box or using your nail to pull the glued tab outward?

It isn't a tab until you puncture the box, is it? Maybe I could try peeling it (kind of looks like it on that one), but usually it's clearly supposed to have some sort of perforation.

I'm not sure about that. There's the glued down tab that the text is printed on so my reading of the instructions suggests inserting your thumb underneath and lifting to peel it away like you mention above. This is supported by the lack of perforation.

I wonder what part of the image OP wants us to look at... I guess we'll never know.

It doesn't say 'open with your thumb'. Open it with a knife or some other technique, then insert your thumb & lift.