Trump team fires back at claims that ex-president ‘smells’

zero_gravitas@aussie.zone to Not The Onion@lemmy.world – 537 points –
Trump team fires back at claims that ex-president ‘smells’
independent.co.uk
99

What does he smell like?

Depends.

Indeed, although it seems like a cheap shot to mock his medical problems. Father Time is a sonofbitch, and he's coming for all of us.

Edit: Lol at the downvotes, it was me taking the cheap shot in the first place. I'm allowed to say I'm taking a cheap shot.

He's the king of cheap shots and categorically refuses to admit he's ever done anything wrong or failed at anything. Plus he's a fascist.

He's fair game for even the cheapest of shots.

This seemed like the perfect opportunity to ask ChatGPT to write a Trump speech about being the best at making cheap shots. So here you go, straight copy paste from ChatGPT:

Ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you something. Nobody, and I mean nobody, can make cheap shots like I can. It's tremendous, folks. People come up to me all the time and say, "Donald, how do you do it?" Well, it's a talent, it really is. I've got the best cheap shots, believe me. Other people try, but they can't even come close. I've been doing this for a long time, and nobody does it better than me. So, when it comes to making cheap shots, I'm the absolute best. Thank you, thank you very much.

Always eerie how the llm outputs are literally indistinguishable from his usual rambling!

loser. That is why none of them can smell it. They are all massive stinking losers. They're just nose blind to it.

Fire and brimstone

More likely straight sulphur. There's a stench of rotten eggs for like half a mile around his bodily girth. The fence around the White House was to protect us, not him.

Gotta love the Streisand effect on display. Wouldn't have known he smells if they hadn't "fired back."

Are you sure about that? Because every picture I see of the seditious fuck makes him look like he smells of hamberder grease and dirty adult diapers.

Apparently the smell is body odor and makeup....which makes sense

Bob Woodward said he could clearly smell Trump's full diaper.

Well, let's just say them fighting hard to say he doesn't confirm all of our suspicions.

Perhaps he needs a face diaper to contain all that shit coming out of his mouth.

Absolutely. I hadn't thought about his odor at all. If they'd left it be, the issue would've disappeared in a week's time. Now "so, what did he smell like..." is the first question I'd ask if I was talking to somebody who met him.

“Adam Kinzinger farted on live TV and is an unemployed fraud,” the spokesperson said in a statement provided to The Independent.

This is the official response. You'd best start believing in Idiocracy, you're in one.

When I first saw Idiocracy when it was perhaps a year or three old, I thought it was stupid. I loved the premise but thought the movie was stupid and too exaggerated. That it would be funnier if it were less over the top.

I admit that I was wrong about it being exaggerated. But I was right that it would be funnier otherwise because it wouldn't have been so prescient.

I admit that I was wrong about it being exaggerated.

I read that they got the audience to laugh at the ass movie without prompting them.

We're fucked.

You don’t think they were actually laughing for 90 minutes straight, do you?

If they'd needed 90 minutes they might've been able to get it, but I think they probably stopped filming after a few minutes because that's all they needed for the movie.

Hey, the President in the movie recognized that there was someone smarter than him and got him to help solve a major problem. That's actually better than Trump did.

They're actually mistaking Adam Kinzinger and Rudy G?

This is incredible:

When reached for comment about the accusation, a spokesperson for Mr Trump returned the insult to Mr Kinzinger.

“Adam Kinzinger farted on live TV and is an unemployed fraud,” the spokesperson said in a statement provided to The Independent.

“He has disgraced his country and disrespects everyone around him because he is a sad individual who is mad about how his miserable life has turned out.”

Kinzinger just gave us a masterclass on how to troll Trump. Not only is this a “no, YOU smell bad!” Kindergarten-level retort, but it’s also just an ad-hominem attack on Kinzinger from Trump’s lawyers, and it’s pointedly NOT a refutation. They know it’s true, and they know it’s trivially provable. And I feel pretty certain Trump has been screaming at them to sue for slander or whatever, and the lawyers are probably like “nope. You do smell. We will lose. It won’t be close.” I genuinely hope it drives him to distraction. And I hope it comes up in the debates. I hope the Democratic nominee (I know, almost certainly Biden, but a guy can hope) visibly reacts to Trump coming near them with visible, uncontrollable disgust. I hope news orgs take this and run with it like a dog with a bone. I want EVERYONE in the Republican sphere to constantly be talking about how godawful Trump smells.

Not a refutation... Excellent.
This really is the dumbest timeline isn't it?

Melania always seemed to have a look on her face like someone just farted. I now know why.

Would be hilarious if there was a whole bank of Melania photos where she's smiling from ear to ear when she's not around him.

He's an old fat guy with a poor diet, of course he smells.

I don't really care if he smells, but I think it's really funny that they care that somebody said it.

1 more...

Jingle bells

trump smells like shit

That is all.

Ok, now I have to take a crack at it.

Jingle bells,

Donald Trump smells,

Pro-se-cute him all the way!

Oh, whata time

It is to live!

Let's li-ti-gate all he has to say!

Hey!

Can anyone else improve this?

Jingle Bells

Donald smells

Jai-l all the way

What a time

To be a live

Let's lit-i-gate him away

Hey!

Rolls off the tongue better.

I feel like the litigate needs an easier word.

Agreed. Or a different line all together! I was trying to go with a justicey feel instead of just insults

"Donald Smells" is actually a better fit than "Donald Trump smells" and is probably clear enough with the context of th rest of the song. You could easily include a line about how "Trump" is longstanding British slang for "fart" though and then you get both names in.

Hey. Syllables: may I introduce you to them...?

I recommend that you try to improve the world with correction instead of (only) criticism. See something misspelled? Post the correct spelling! See some syllables that are off? Fix 'em so that others don't get it wrong!

Thank you for pushing through the wall. I couldn't find the energy myself.

Now this might actually get his base riled up.

But if the campaign said he doesn’t, he definitely smells.

It's not hard to believe. He did once enter Air Force One with toilet paper stuck to his shoe.

deleted by creator

Too bad that one aide didn't get the memo and told him about the cheeto dust on his mask when he was touring the factory

how fucked in the head do you have to be to married to this giant human-sized piece of feces

1 more...

In some ways it makes sense for someone so full of shit he must be overflowing with it.

I never heard anyone talk about Trump's smell until seeing this so a. You know he smells. And b. Now I do, too.

This really doesn't surprise me. Trump is geriatric and gross. Of course he fucking smells, almost all old people smell. The real question is how bad does he smell? Haha.

With his love of junk food, he can't be smelling great. What you eat is how you smell. Aside from the whole bathing thing. Oh god, I just thought about Trump bathing. Oh god, make it stop.

Are we sure it's not some power move from his art of the deal? Like he intentionally smells so people are desperate to get out of the room?

Do not bathe, smell, assert dominance.

The state of American politics

if you've graduated from kindergarten, you're overqualified

Trump’s professional, adult lawyers: “No u”

"Your honor, we are rubber and they are glue. Whatever they say bounces off of us and sticks to you (points at prosecution)

so he's full of shit, and he smells like it.. it only makes sense..

Comon guys, don't be so mean.

He just forgot to change his diaper that one time!

I’m beginning to think he uses the bronzer to protect his skin with an extra layer.

I thought you were going to write he uses bronzer instead of a shower

Jingle bells

Donald smells

Eric did a line

Melania holds her nose

And Rudy got a fine

Damn dawg when I was little I thought staying up late to watch Quantam Leap was what adults did but now I am an adult and reading this and I have to say…..fuckin blah blah better than this I’m so tired guys make it stop.

Who knew so many people were so gullible and immature.

I am hoping the smell is a symptom of a serious fatal health condition.