Does everyone buy little things here and there so as to not go insane?

_number8_@lemmy.world to Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world – 160 points –

you know -- this is always represented in the news/etc as 'a starbucks a day' but i mean moreso a gadget or a shirt. i'm splurging on deodorant right now. is that immoral? are you meant to have a mostly austere budget until you're a boomer with a house and a fence?

so uhh what's the last little thing you bought to not go insane?

75

ima be real chief it ain't gonna fuckin matter if I go spend $30 or not on an electronic gadget once in a while, the chances of me landing in home ownership are still gonna be 0.0%. fuck it we ball, i might as well have toys to play with that makes the tism happy

You know it's kind of funny in a way that people keep telling us to cut out all unnecessary spending to make it further than just paycheck to paycheck instead of just raising wages so we can afford those little things.
But I don't think they take into account that our economy is almost entirely supported by our endless consumerism.
If we take their advice and stop buying ourselves little treats and toys the whole economy collapses, it's completely unsustainable without them nickel and diming us to death yet they refuse to give us even pennies.
I honestly wonder what their backup plan is when they eventually do get all the money and there's none left for us to give them anymore.

I saw a job today that I fit the criteria for and pays around double what I currently earn. Out of interest I though I'd look at what house I could afford on that salary in my area.

The answer is none. I can afford no houses in my area even on double what I earn in a quite high up management position.

I don't think they have a backup plan, everything is going according to their active plan. You could almost consider this like micro-colonization: the wealthy step on the toes of the working folk, lie to the workers into thinking colonization is good, drain resources and human willpower, then throw them in a ditch after they realize their home was stolen from them. Ask the Native Americans, Aboriginals of Australia, or almost every single African country to ever have existed.

TL;DR - We'll probably be displaced to neat little patches of land where were are out-of-sight, out-of-mind.

I am fully disconnected from that mentality and do not miss it. I used to waste a lot of time around shopping for needless and pointless nonsense.

I will spend a whole lot more on things I really need or want, but I don't feel like I am a target for marketing in any way now. My last major purchase was an AI capable computer which was likely due to YT and Reddit manipulated suggestions and visibility. I don't regret that one. Since I quit reddit in June, I have also pulled way back with YT. I'm on Linux/Graphene and my primary network connection is though a whitelist firewall. That seems to be just enough to stop the subconscious motivations and desires for stuff I don't actually care anything about like this.

It may be an unpopular opinion, but the best and brightest psych majors are going into advertising for a damn good reason, and it ain't making prettier HTML banner ads like it's 1999.

I recommend having a long think about that whole buying little things makes an emotion paradigm and start asking yourself what could be the causes of such behaviors and how they might have been intentional manipulation across platforms and information spaces. There is a reason why data stalking companies are so pervasive and everyone wants you to use an app where they have constant sensor data from your device.

That was an excellent thing to start my day with - cheers. I'm probably more like OP, but I like this perspective and am trying to move towards it. One habit that has helped is swapping phone time for book time. Even if there is still some phone time, any book time is a win: I learn stuff from sources I can trust, and there are no ads.

Feel free to start posting in Word of the Day !wotd@lemmy.world

I created it a few days ago for my own motivation to do more book time and start pulling a bit more out of what I am reading at the same time. You'll probably need to add it by searching manually and doing a pending subscription until the transport bots sync across instances because it is new.

Exactly. Buying gives you a small dopamine bump, but it doesn't last very long. The downside is that you spent money that could be better used elsewhere, got another trinket to crowd you out of your house, and probably distracts you from healthier or more fulfilling activities.

I once read

we as a society work 40+ hours a week . Spend little to no time doing the things we love. It's a struggle every day. And because we are in this constant state of "grind" we shop for items that give us temporary happiness.

We are meat in a meat grinding machine from early age to nearly death. No one consented to it... It just is. So spend that $5 or that $1500 on something that gives you happiness. Because at the end of it all.. it's the ride that matters not where you end up.

It also needs to be said... We are a culture of consumerism. We all must buy and buy and buy to keep the economy afloat. So the game has been rigged to make you want to spend.

Good luck op

Looks at my $1500 3d printer.

How you just gonna call me out on a personal level in public like that?

Budgeting won't get you a house. Earning an unusually high amount of money (and that amount keeps growing) gets you a house eventually, if you still budget when you get that income.

The way I learned it is, most people who make a budget forget the value of fun. Make sure your bills are covered, save what you can, and also set aside some money for fun.

Paying a streaming service subscription, buying a little something to eat or drink when meeting with friends, buying fun gadgets you can enjoy, and buying hobby supplies would all be worthwhile uses of money set aside for fun.

Last year I got really into freshwater aquarium keeping as a hobby. So I find myself buying little plants, decor, tools, etc for my aquariums (of which I have 5 now...). It's fun, a bit expensive but it's therapeutic.

I also smoke hella weed.

What sort of fish?

We have a 38~ gal with live-bearers (Platys and Mollys), a few skunk Cory's and a pleco.

A 20 gal with a Betta, white-gold mountain minnows, panda Cory's, and a pleco.

A 55 gal that's pretty new, has ghost shrimp, fish tbd (we're thinking angelfish and some larger schooling fish).

A 3 gal with a betta.

And finally a 4 gal, fish tbd (working on a low tech nano, was thinking chili rasbora)

Anyone know if there's an aquarium community on Lemmy yet? edit: yes, there is!

You may already know this, but don't smoke near your aquariums. I used to work in a high end fish shop and smoking was such an issue for customers. Vaping is even worse.

No, I hate buying things. It literally feels bad, and I put it off as long as I can or group it together so I can get it over with all at once.

I'm more-or-less inured to grocery shopping, and do it every other day, but it's easier to think of it as "restocking" rather than "shopping". No decisions to make, I know in advance what things cost, and so on.

But buying something I haven't bought before, or at a store I haven't been to before? Torture.

I thought I was the only one. I dread spending money, I feel worse every time I do it. So usually I only buy something if the previous thing that I had broke down. I also never buy food outside of groceries. I wear clothes until they turn to rags too lol. There are a couple of exceptions such as audio books (audible sub), PC upgrades (once every 6-7 years) and Steam games (on sales only), but those are just the only things that I find truly worthwhile.

We only have so much time on this earth. Why not enjoy the little things? Even if technically it's garbage. The important thing is to just not go too wild with it.

I bought an Adventure is Nigh t-shirt. I'm 53 and staring down decline, decrepitude, and a dystopian present, let alone future. I've just now in 2024 fully recovered from the 2008 downturn. Fuck it, I'm getting a t-shirt.

Hope your Friday night is treating you right. ✌️

Sure. Small random grocery store things like stroopwafel or pears

Plants, more plants! Preferably trees, endemic or edible that I can't fit on my property but guerilla garden into my local area.

Also, the occasional coffee.

Consumerism has replaced community. Instead of visiting a friend I go for a walk alone, but I live in a city so the only place to walk is among the stores. And the walk feels meaningless if I don't buy something.

I have many sweaters. But maybe I could go buy another sweater.

Yes. I have a separate paypal account i use for for some micro jobs I do (think r/beermoney) and that account is my "fun money". I buy things on steam sales, amazon, ebay with that balance and dont think twice. Its usually around $20-30 per week. If I have an exceptionally good week microtasking (which normally means I had a slow week in my regular jobs) I'll move some money to my normal account rather than blow it on toys.

If you're worried the best thing to do is make a proper budget. Make sure every penny you earn is accounted for in there.

Give yourself a certain amount in the budget to buy random stuff each month. Let it roll over each month so if you don't spend it all you have more next month.

Removes any guilt as you know everything is covered.

I do it particularly when I'm having a life period where I'm feeling stuck or stagnant. Essentially become a consumer whore as a coping mechanism.

I buy random things way more than I should. Always seems like a good idea at the time, even when 90% of these splurges ends up being something I definitely didn’t need. Alas, the dopamine hits from painstakingly researching and identifying the perfect, useless item are all too real. Bought a three pack (it was a crazy discount to buy in a pack of 3) of 6 outlet, low-profile plug, surge protectors.

Outlets in my house are somehow always on walls where I need something pushed against them. Anywho, you should not beat yourself up over some deodorant, is all I’m getting at.

Of course. If this is what reinforces other positive behaviors keep it up. I keep myself on a contract for larger items. (For every month I complete 100 study hours and meet my work hours, I get a pair of converse) :)

Little things, not so much. But when it comes to hobbies, especially ones that get me moving and exercising, I feel perfectly fine spending money on something that will make me feel better.

For example, lately I've been considering getting a road bike again even though I already have a gravel bike (that I plan to keep).

I also enjoy spending money on my hobbies. I have a budget I keep for them.

For me, it's motorcycle parts. I have two older bikes I ride.

I love shopping for parts! It's definitely entertainment for me.

A gadget or a shirt are practical things. I'll buy those things and not think about it at all. Especially if I need the gadget or a new shirt. But there's a bunch of crap I do not need that tempts me. Junk I know will be fun for all of 5 minutes before it ends up in a drawer or my closet. I've managed to stop myself wasting money on stuff like that, but there's still that moment of "oh shit that's cool I should get one" before giving it further thought.

Even games and entertainment devices are practical things. But if you're buying like 20 PS5's you might have a problem.

No I try to only buy what I need and look for long term value in purchases. I do spend on experiences such as traveling as I find it rewarding.

I tend to have unfortunately expensive hobbies... Photography, cars and other forms of offroad vehicles, etc. So I don't usually spend money on small things that aren't necessities.

I am getting into motorcycle riding, which gear itself is rather expensive if you want to not be grated cheese, plus the bike, training, etc. So that's my expensive purchase this year.

My hobbies tend to keep me out of the house, so I guess in a way this helps keep me from going insane.

The cool thing about motorcycles is that once you have the gear and the bike, it's practically free, unless you crash. If you buy a dual sport then even crashing hard doesn't necessarily cost you any money. I once skipped a KLR 650 like 50 feet across the pavement, ran over, picked it up, and rode off. That was after dropping it a 100 times in the dirt.

The expensive piece is insurance. Where I live, an M2 license (halfway from a beginner to full license) will probably run me about $300 CAD a month (based on a few new 400-500cc bikes) from my research... But it does go down with tenure, especially with a full license. I could buy used, which would be cheaper on insurance, but I'm already travelling 4+ hours for any dealer, I don't want to do that trip more than I need to for safety inspections and looking at different bikes. I've already accepted the price in my mind, and the obvious potential of dropping a new bike more than once. All part of the fun.

If only it cost the same as my 4 wheeler insurance ($30/mo).

Ouch! Yeah that's pretty high. When you're young it's always hard to get full coverage on new bikes. When I was 19 I called for an insurance quote on a Ninja 1200D and they laughed at me and hung up. Haha.

I typically ride older bikes that I pay cash for and just get liability insurance. My current bike is an old (but very cool) XR600R with a license plate and insurance costs me $68 per year. I just pay it all at once and don't worry about it again for a year. But, I've been riding for over 30 years so it's a lot cheaper for me than it would be for most people on this site.

I think $300 per month for a new bike is totally worth it if you love the bike and have the money. I can't think of a single hobby that has brought me as much joy and good times as riding has. Get some friends to ride with, and you build memories that last a lifetime. Bring a camera along and you end up with amazing photo albums too.

I'm in Ontario, and insurance is ridiculous for everything. When I first started driving several years ago, I lived in the city, and I was given quotes up to $700/mo. Now for three vehicles in the middle of nowhere, it's about $250/mo.

I pay cash for all my vehicles (I hate loans), so liability is all I pay for. Nothing I own is worth the cost of comprehensive... If I break it, I'll fix it myself.

I'll be the only person where I live who rides. I'm in a small town, and neighboring towns are about an hour away. So it'll just be me, which I tend to prefer most of the time anyways. I got my rider course in june, so I'm super excited for that!

You might be able to find some other riders on Facebook groups, or Meetup. I think it's definitely more fun to ride with others than to ride alone, but it is still very fun alone. I just found some twisty roads with some fire trails a couple days ago and I can't wait to get my wheels balanced on my bike and head out this spring. I'll be going alone since my riding group is now spread all over the country. We just need to be more cautious riding alone than when riding with friends, since there's nobody there to bail you out if you crash. Leave a route and a return time with friends or your parents, and you'll be okay.

I took that riding course when I was 15 1/2 so that I could start riding before my 16th birthday. It's a great investment! You'll be a better, safer rider because of it. Best of luck, and have a great time! Keep the rubber side down!

Oh there’s definitely groups around… I just need to travel about 4 hours haha.

We just have 1 main highway, and another section of road that is less used. All my group riding is with 4 wheelers or snowmobiles. I almost always keep someone in the know of where I go, since unless you’re directly in town, you likely won’t have cell service.

If you’re ever interested, I use a device called Zoleo, which allows you to send messages and call for emergency help via satellite. There’s a monthly fee, but if you’re ever out constantly like I am where there’s no service, it’ll help you out. I’m sure there’s other options too, but it’s for sure a useful tool, especially if you’re stuck down a ditch and can’t move.

Oh that's cool, like the Garmin Mini. I've been getting pressure from my friends and family to get something like that now that I'm middle aged, but still do a lot of back country backpacking. There's no cell service just past our house, so we have GMRS radios. A 50w base station at home, 4 watt handy talkies, and a local repeater we can hit. My wife and I are studying for our ham licenses right now, since we can use lower frequency signals and more power with ham than with GMRS. I'll check that device out that you shared. Neither ham nor GMRS are adequate where I go backpacking, and a lot of loved ones want me to be able to send a location beacon while I'm in the back country. The Garmin Mini is more money than I've wanted to spend, and yours looks affordable. Thanks!

Quads are good fun too, man! Especially since you can strap an ice chest to the back. I used to ride quads in the Sierra Nevadas a lot when I was younger. We'd all strap an ice chest to the back and fill it to the brim with beer. I know... I know. It's not safe to mix alcohol and motorsports, but man is it fun!

Yeah, I always try to improve my everyday carry a little bit here and there… a better wallet, a nice compact pen, a little gadget that fits in my pocket, a pocket knife, etc. I try to carry as much as I can without carrying an extra pouch or bag or feeling like my pockets are stuffed and bulging, so I really prioritize small functional things that fit in my wallet or on my keychain. If I’m feeling spendy, I usually go for that and can find something for ~$30 bucks. Then I get to be excited for it to arrive in the mail.

Shiney 3d printer filament. I keep stock of a typical ROYGBV, brown, black, white... But then shiney cyan goes on sale for 25% off. I don't need it but, you know, it's pretty and on sale.

Looks at the storage totes full of filament in my laundry room.

Nope. No idea what you’re talking about. Never done that. No siree Bob. What kind of monster…

OK fine I admit it stop with all these accusations.

I buy as little as possible in terms of I try to buy only what I need but I will always spend more for better quality or a better product within reason. Convenience food is just that, I buy it based on time being short.

No way, I very rarely buy junk that I don't need. Spending money makes me feel bad. I just buy what I need. If it's something I REALLY want, then the pleasure of getting that thing might offset the unpleasantness of spending money, but it's a calculated decision. For example I might buy 2 or 3 video games per year to help keep me entertained, but I won't blow my money on tons of games I'll never play during sales. If I see something in a store and think it looks cool or useful, I'll normally just go home and think about it. I will usually decide that it's just junk that I don't need or want. If I really do want it, it will still be there later.

If I see something in a store and think it looks cool or useful, I'll normally just go home and think about it. I will usually decide that it's just junk that I don't need or want. If I really do want it, it will still be there later.

I have a 7-day rule to avoid impulse-buying. When I decide that I want something that's not a necessity, I go wait for seven days. Usually, the need or desire is gone by then. If the desire is still there, I trust that I actually want the item or service, and I go ahead and buy it.

Every now and then, an item I want is on sale for only a short time. I still apply the 7-day rule, but I don't buy at the higher price if I still want it and the sale is gone.

Saves me a good deal of money.

I like buying and owning some stuff, sure, but not being able to do so doesn't not make me go/feel insane.

Sometimes guilt creeps in but then I remember I am allowed to own and enjoy things that have no other purpose than to be enjoyed. I don't come from money, lived a very frugal life with my parents and while I went to private school all the way through college it was through scholarships and what not.

So maybe I am justifying myself, which is fine too, but now that I can have a bit of extra change and not be a starving student I know there are some stuff that I am willing to buy for whatever reason. This will not make me poorer or richer.

I don't buy things just for buyings sake, but things I actually enjoy. Look, we can all die at any moment. There can be an accident or so. It's important to enjoy life. If you just save all your money and don't enjoy some of it and you die unexpectedly, saving it was a huge waste. You would have held back for nothing.

You'll probably never have a house. Better rip that bandaid off quick. Lol

I buy things occasionally, yes. I've been trying to prioritize though, and also have been really focusing on dealing with my old stuff too. I've basically made a self-imposed rule of selling/donating/reimplementing the old things, which allows me to better focus on the new things and not feel so bad about it. Being materialistically responsible is something I wished I'd learned earlier in life. I've still got a long way to go, but the progress I've made has helped tremendously.

Nothing super recent, but I am looking at getting one or two handheld retro consoles, currently thinking about getting the Anbernic RG35XX H and the Miyoo Mini v4.

I am having a spot of bother finding a good store in the EU with them in stock in the colors I want.

A Jellycat Dexter. So adorable but silly expensive for a cuddly thing (I was rewarding myself after having to go into hospital for an invasive test).

When I was growing up, if I wanted anything it was, "do you need it?". This was drilled into me so much I feel a bit guilty for buying random things even though I can afford them, and I always think long and hard about purchases very rarely buying anything on impulse. Usually I see something and have to go back (weeks) later to buy it after it has been playing on my mind.

Good little consumer, happyness comes from owning crap.

You're just suckered into the opposite trap, thinking you're noble and heroic because you deny yourself the pleasures everyone else enjoys

Keep choking down that copium eventually u will buy that thing u need and finally be happy.

Life isn't as black and white as you want it to be, sometimes having nice things does help you feel better about life. You can't buy your way to happiness but you won't find it in austerity either.

Life is as black and white as u want it to be. Do u feel proud of the things u have because u have them or because of what they do?

That's colloquially referred to as retail therapy. I don't think occasionally indulging in it is bad as long as you're cognizant of its purpose as a coping mechanism and understand the relief/pleasure it provides probably isn't going to be long-lasting.

In my family, all impulse purchases had to be "justified" with whatever flimsy reasoning was necessary. I don't think that's any better and if it's not coming at the expense of things you actually need, it's good to be able to decide you want something just because you do. Otherwise you can start going down the path of, "Do I really need cheese on this burger? Do I really need variety in my food? Do I really need to be eating three times a day?"

Life should be lived, just don't lose sight of the big picture of course. Also, I'm sure other people around you approve of your buying deodorant :)

Last thing? Well, it's driving me insane.
I ordered this CD: https://www.discogs.com/release/14937649-Shostakovich-Royal-Concertgebouw-Orchestra-Riccardo-Chailly-The-Jazz-Album

But PayPal keeps rejecting my card after I confirm 3D secure in my banking app with "Your bank couldn't verify your card...". I tried guest payment option under "PayPal" payment which did briefly show up even for my region. "To complete this purchase, use another way to pay or check this account at the card issuer before retrying it."
So I contacted Discogs support, described my issue, and whoever at their ZenDesk just copy-pasted the answer to where the checkout button is. I responded with a screenshot of the error, and got no response.
Just to make sure it's not on my side, I tried donating some money to Linux Mint, also via PayPal. Guess what, that worked

It's been 2 days now, and I am still unable to pay. So instead of some nice little thing, it's just yet another issue.
It's not the first time though. I am done with Discogs. Even some sellers are now leaving due to excessive fees and lack of support. For me it's their shitty decision to rely on PayPal.

I'm a Stoic and I still enjoy material things very much! Obsession with things is unhealthy but so is the opposite. We make things, things are awesome, why shouldn't we enjoy them once in a while? I just got a new yerba mate cup and it's bringing me loads of joy!

10% of my income is for splurging.

I follow the barefoot investor method of saving. Would highly recommend it

I'm quite frugal, I also moved a ton as a child so my parents kept the amount of my belongings to a minimum. Because of this is often don't buy things, maybe even when I should. I usually opt for repair or reservice.

I have a hard time spending any money on myself, maybe even to a slightly unhealthy degree. For spending money on others its usually not an issue. Right now I just tell myself I spend nothing because I really really really want a house. Though it's probably not super likely based in how the market has been trending

I'm not sure I can relate to the premise. Sure, I do feel a little spike of pleasure when I buy something technically unnecessary, like another T shirt, or something hobby related, but I wouldn't say I "go insane" during the weeks I don't buy such things.

prioritization is key. (at least for me)

I understand that some days I go down that hole so I set aside "play money" for play things.

poor students, adults, and working peeps need play time too. treat yourself day is counted as play time. knowing when play time is - that's adulting.

the last thing I bought in this category is kimchi. never had it in kitchen form before so it was both a tasting and meal-pairing experience.

I am very stretched financially. I do surveys for money and have managed not to pay for anything on Amazon for two years this way. Things are hard right now and so being able to look forward to a package makes the days easier.

(Yes I will tell anyone how who is interested. It's tedious but I really have made a lot of money, enough so pretty much everything I wear every day is paid for this way.)