Choose A or B

Striker@lemmy.worldmod to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 275 points –
83

B, and it isn’t even close.

What about B appeals to you

It’s more that infinite uncles implies an incredibly high rate of being molested. If it’s literally infinite, it’s being molested a lot.

Uncles or fish is irrelevant, infinite anything with mass presumably fills the entire space of the universe immediately and collapses everything into a giant singularity.

Only within a finite space. If the universe is infinite then they can be spaced arbitrarily far apart

If the space was infinite, we wouldn't exist.

From the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:

It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.

The thing is that the universe is as far as we can tell the not infinite, just infinitely expanding. The known universe is measurable (like 46 billion light years)

Idk what that implies for the existence of open space however. Like if that is infinite or if it is somehow created.

The concept of infinite nothing is hard to fathom.

Wouldn't the non molester uncles protect you from the molester uncles thereby creating war on earth between the uncles that want to molest you and the ones that want to protect you.

I would also like to prevent a war where one possible outcome is a whole army molesting me.

Infinite uncles means the population of earth is completely unsustainable and the collapse of every system is imminent.

Infinite uncles means infinite food and you can always just let them die, since you have infinite, there’s always gonna be more that aren’t dead

For me, literally everything except the balding and I really couldn't give a shit, I'll buzz it all off anyway.

Infinite rare fish? Well as it happens, fishing is my biggest hobby, so that's just fuckin delightful.

Mongolian real estate empire? Well that's passive income and/or something I can sell. As a mongol mogul, in gonna try working the angle of an exotic but affordable fishing, hunting, and nature tourism destination, really try to put Mongolia on the map for Western tourists.

No taxes dovetails nicely here, also making it easier to both expand as well as make the business model more resilient.

Neighbors scared of me? Great! If they seem cool, I'll reach out to them, otherwise, fear is a great way to not have to deal with shitty neighbors! In Mongolia they'll be far away anyway.

Night light to keep the monsters at bay.

And the balding we will deal with by just keeping it buzzed low or shaving my head completely.

B all the way. I'll use my real estate and no taxes to figure out a way to make a fuck ton of $400/month apartments like it's 1990 to help the less fortunate/average person. I'll then use the no taxes to hopefully refine my business model to the point of making my affordable apartment business more widespread across the entire country and just keep expanding until I get either assassinated or receive a Nobel Prize.

Depends on how scared the neighbors are. Are they "let's avoid that guy" scared, or "we better kill him before he kills us" scared ?

I feel like it depends on who the neighbors are. Live in a suburb, cool. Live 45 minutes from the closest grocery store... yeah that neighbor is likely to murder you.

unfortunately the real estate is in mongolia. Already pretty cheap there, but no one wants to move there

Ok and hear me out here... Tell me more about the Uncles.

Because if they are gainfully employed in a variety of fields I now have amazing contacts for anything on the cheap.

If they are the "handsy" uncles, they are significantly less desireable.

You have an infinite number of uncles. Statistically, many of them are going to be billionaires, handsy creeps or creeps out to collect your hands.

If its effectively a normal spread of people then its a resource. If this is some genie trick with unintended consequences like all of them being unemployable alcoholics who all need a place to crash then its a liability.

Tis a shame the uncles don't come with a real estate empire to house your personal army of alcoholics in. Imagine the political sway you could have by threatening to put them all loose on downtown at the same time? There's an infinite amount of them! It would destroy the city!

Infinite rare fish

They’d no longer be considered “rare” then, right? Or can only I eat/keep them?

Night light

Could be good or bad. Is this a night light in just one specific room? Is it a flashlight I always have on me to use as needed? Is it a glowing orb that floats around me that I can’t control?

Every rare fish is the only one of its kind

Do you just will them unto existence?.. because I am pretty sure with that skill you could convince enough people you're God to start a new cult.

of those 12 attributes, only two of them are desirable.

I'm just gonna opt out of this entire post.

B. Sell all the fish, House the homeless, not have to pay taxes on anything including selling of fish and housing the homeless, walk past my neighbors every night at 10:01 PM with a cart of rare fish, pay for more hair with rare fish.

I thought this was about Animal Crossing because of the fish but regardless B

B. Use fish to fund low income/homeless/transitional shelters. Also, balding. That's more hair than I have now!

What kind of "guess the billionaire" game is this?

I think people are overestimating the ease of selling and market demand for rare fish. Most are likely not edible or desirable to be eaten.

Oh they're dead fish? I was hoping to restore threatened and endangered species.

Who said that they are endangered? What if they are all new invasive fish, it didn't say they already existed in nature, simply that they are rare. A one of a kind fish, is the rarest of fish.

Probably A. Gotta get that balding

Both are balding. You are just covering up the fact that you want an infinite amount of uncles

No, just the balding. (How did you know?)

B. Not even a question. A is awful (except being friends with Tom could be chill)

Being friends with Tom Hardy seems like the worst bit. Who the hell wants to be friends with some preppy english toff?

Infinite rare fish sounds like a modded skyblock resource generation system

A: uncles take care of themselves (unlike the fish), you can have much more fun with uncles. Always hard could be a problem... I mean, it means I could never wear jeans again. Could be always hard on demand. Also I really like lambos. Tom Hardy is a cool guy as well.

You have serious real estate & infinite rare fish you can sell for a lot of money, and the government isn't tax-raping your profits to death, you can buy several or more lambos.

I might not be up to date with Mongolia real estate value. Isn't it most steppe? Plus I really don't want to deal with people to sell them the fish. I'm more for a relaxed and fun life with all my uncles and Tom Hardy, not the hustle.

If you don't like the Mongolian real estate empire, it doesn't say you can't sell it.