Ah, peak relaxation

The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world to ADHD memes@lemmy.dbzer0.com – 717 points –
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I will be watching a three hour video essay, get distracted, read posts on Lemmy, then go back to my video 15 minutes later. I realize I have no idea what was said in the last 15 minutes so I have to back up to the last point I definitely know I wasn't distracted. It will take me ten hours to watch that video.

This is why I don't do podcasts in the background, I miss stuff and the whole thing becomes a confusing distraction.

What seems to work for me is something I have seen/heard a bunch of times in the background (Futurama, electronic music) which scratches that mind wandering itch without it dragging me away from what I want to be doing.

I have two types of podcasts: those I listen to when doing work that is pretty mindless so I can focus on the podcast, and those that are entertaining but not important enough that it matters if I miss something while reading directions or thinking through next steps on my project, etc.

Come to think of it, I have one other category, actually, which are podcasts that are interesting but get a big backlog because I'm not that excited about them. I use those to fall asleep.

For me itā€™s similar, but podcasts for housework and cleaning, music for working, silence for drawing/problem solving.

I've probably listened to the entire MCU, in order, fifteen times over the past two years. I can ignore it and happily work or game, while it calms the tiny part of my brain that's registering it - and then I'll notice an especially good scene is coming up, so I pause whatever's currently on top and switch to the video for a scene or two... then back to work/play.

Fully Ramblomatic (previously known as Zero Punctuation) videos do this for me

It took me four days to get through Ash (2019)

Amazing movie

I stayed up until 4AM each day

I've really gotten into those police interrogation videos on YouTube. The ones that are like 3 hours of raw footage of the interrogation. You can miss large chunks because it's such a long process and just tune in when they run out of lies and confess.

So peaceful. I need at least three screaming voices to avoid the Internal Carnival Music šŸŽŖ

Before i was got on meds, i constantly had music playing in my head along with all the other thoughts that were trying to be heard.

Okay get this - when I finally got on meds for the nth (and hopefully last) time, the voices in my head immediately changed from an incoherent chorus of self-hatred to "why is this song playing in my head?" and "It's kind of a bop, though."

The relief was incredible, if also a little weird.

Lol ive had that kind of experience as well. I got lucky and first med i tried was really effective. I'm now able to just stop thinking for a while. All the voices are quiet and no music plays.

I just got diagnosed last year and ive had ADHD all my life without knowing it so super weird to just have a quiet head. I get what you mean, its such a drastic change, but a good one.

I always say that my brain is a jukebox that never, EVER turns off. There is always music and it never stops.

Oh my, no. This is like a list of the worst things for me.

I can't concentrate on something if they're are voices in the background, my brain forces me to focus on the voices, I can't tune them out to focus on my main task.

So when I'm working, music helps me focus a little, but it MUST not have vocals. No-Vocals Vaporwave/Synthwave is my jam.

I could never watch two films at the same time, or have a podcast on while I'm trying to watch a film, etc, I hate distractions and background noises while I'm trying to focus on a film.

If I tried to watch two films at once... my brain would just be overwhelmed and I'd be able to watch neither.

I also hate noise in general and cherish blissful silence, so while I do run a fan when it gets very hot, I do my best to avoid it.

Quiet silence is best, the more things like noise assault my senses the more I feel oppressed in my own brain.

This. I got the "physically unable to multitask" ADHD instead of the "needs multiple sources of stimulation" ADHD.

I need exactly the right amount of stimulation or nothing is getting done. It is extremely variable.

I find loud, fast/rhythmic music works best for me. Anything with a d-beat is generally solid, so metal (osdm, trad/speed, thrash, black) and punk (hardcore, crust) make up a chunk of my focus music, definitely not in the multiple sources category either, more of the "drown out everything else so I can only think of one thing" sort.

Same but I work from home with two elementary school aged kids during summer break, so I just suffer.

That might be autism. Or you have both.

Haha yes it's a strong possibility that I have both, going off what I've learned these past few years of research and community involvement!

It's going to be a looong time before I can get checked for autism though as I'm poor, so for now I just have to wait and wonder :-)

Take the raads-r test. It's so close to a psychiatrist evaluation that it has a high confidence even for a self test. https://embrace-autism.com/raads-r/

Just knowing you are autistic and learning about it can improve your life

Oh my gosh, same. If Iā€™m trying to concentrate or focus on something there can be no words in music or better yet no music. The only exception to that is a task that is just movement and a playlist with songs I know all the words to. Then Iā€™ll sing while I work. I like classical for the no words, even opera is ok because I donā€™t know what they are saying. I used to set my alarm in the morning to the French CBC. I donā€™t speak French so it was just melodic sounds instead of sounding like someone is yelling at me first thing.

I also donā€™t like watching movies/tv/youtube. I always feel like thereā€™s something else I should be doing. I will watch a movie, but it takes a bit for me to settle and get my brain to realize that thatā€™s what Iā€™m doing. It feels so sedentary. Though I can game for hours haha. Iā€™m doing something! Thereā€™s the added bonus that tv is like coffee for me, makes my brain WIRED, then I canā€™t sleep. Books for the win!

My hearing is quite bad now so that also adds to the feeling of a dull roar of confusion. Yay getting old.

*Edit to say hook me up with the synthwave playlists! Love that sound.

Yeah, I find that the music helps me when I'm doing boring work, but as soon as the work requires any real significant focus, like, more than 70% brainpower, I pause the music for a bit so I can really focus.

Here's the one I put on most often! :-)

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1lwtGOCEVJ7Lo7eell35Di

Oh wow!! Thank you so much!!

I often spend my time on Lemmy/Reddit feeling and acting bitter and dumb, I'm so angry at myself for this illness and how I've ruined my own life because of it, and I'm angry at the world for all the cruel people and systems causing us to suffer, holding us down, dooming us,

and I do want to be better, kinder, I just don't have any hope and nowhere to put all this anger and hopelessness and misery, and I can't afford ADHD treatment so...yeah. I'm not proud of my little vice/outlet, I suppose.

Anyway my point is, you've been lovely to talk to, thank you for reminding me that some people are genuinely lovely. I most certainly don't deserve it, haha.

Anyway, from here in Manchester England, have a grand day šŸ‘‹

Hey! Sorry I didnā€™t respond sooner, many guests arrived. Awesome playlist! So far every track has been gold. The teenagers love it lol. Many thanks.

Number one, donā€™t feel guilty about spending time here. You can make it what you want and be a force of good and change or, not. We all need a bit of escape sometimes and I know I am very susceptible to doom scrolling to avoid work/sleep/life in general. But I try to keep my feed as positive as I can while still being informed of whatā€™s going on in the world. Thatā€™s a tough line sometimes šŸ™„. I get not having any hope, itā€™s just hard, so hard, right now. So much change and uncertainty in the air and no outlet for the stress. Go walk, get outside, exercise is a huge part of adhd management.

I donā€™t know your situation and how youā€™ve ruined your life, but I hope you have someone to talk to. Maybe itā€™s not as bad as your spinning mind is making it? I get into a spiral real easy, so I know how that can go! Have you been diagnosed with adhd? I took a quick look to see if there are any assistance programs for medication, didnā€™t find anything right away but Iā€™d look into that. Here in BC there is a program that helps pay for it. I was only diagnosed last September in my mid fortyā€™s and medication has saved my life. I have a brain again! Tbh, I almost didnā€™t make it, my daughter kept me going, I couldnā€™t bear to never see her again. It has been a long journey to get to this place and now I can see the future again with joy. Itā€™s worth exploring all the avenues to keep in that direction. I unfortunately donā€™t know the uk health system so canā€™t offer too much advice. Only that nowadays you have to be your own advocate.

The main thing I want to say is donā€™t beat yourself up. Youā€™re struggling and most definitely deserve some grace and care, shit is hard right now. One step at a time. Message me if you need a chat or a pep talk! Cheers from the Gulf Islands of BC and have a kick ass day!

This is me when I'm medicated - no distracting lights or sounds, just ambient music, something to fidgit with, and my task.

Unmedicated, and I'm like the meme, trying to shove as many things into my head as possible.

When the power goes out and that fan stops, it's the quietest thing you've ever imagined. It shouldn't even be possible. I hate it.

My mother used to simply turn my fan off to wake me up. I have slept through actually gunshots in the same room as me but my fan turning off was too much

The fan thing really hit me. Ceiling fan, 7 years, only stopped it to dust.....when the power goes out

I'm sorry about the fan hitting you, you really have to make sure those things are mounted properly.

you cant stop me when im at my playing factorio while consuming live streams in the background at 1.5x speed, i am too powerful for you.

Where are the fidget toys, sound of TV in another room, and 6 open beverages scattered about? How is this person staying so focused despite being so dehydrated!?

I have a big fan in my room and when I get on calls with friends, they ask if I'm in the factory. Apparently the fan sounds like heavy machinery in the distance. Got a new AC and it only adds to the factory ambience lol. My friends aren't bothered by it, thankfully

If you have an nvidia graphics card in the RTX family you can use nvidia broadcast to filter out sounds like fans, vacuums, ac, loud typing, etc.

Super useful I use it all the time because I always have a fan or am AC

This sub makes me think I have ADHD. Constant multitasking (audiobooks with whatever other brainless activity), or else so hyperfixated on a thing that I forget to eat, 4 empty cups of water at my desk, putting off responding to texts and then three days later realizing i never responded at all, forgetting about a problem I need to fix or errand I need to run until something reminds me of it.

Just juggling a bunch of interests because, with a day job, there's really no way to simply hold on to each one for very long.

Oh and then smoking marijuana.

This describes me well. My manager actually has to manage me but in a good way.

Are you me? Goddam, I am the very same to the last detail, I was even also wondering the same before reading the comment.

Oh and I am high

Wait, is a constantly running fan and ADHD thing? Because I have like 4 going right now... And rarely are they turned off.

For me it helps filter out noises from outside and lets my brain relax a bit. Not sure if that's the ADHD or the hyper vigilace.

Same, I have a small fan that's running almost 24/7 to act as a noise machine even when listening to music to which I listen constantly during the day. When I read comics/memes as well because I hate silence and hearing noises that are outside control. Lmao

Also falling asleep to a small fan that's on the other end of the room just hits different.

For me for some inexplicable reason i fall asleep best when i put a multiple hour analysis/essay video on the background about a topic i am not really invested in. This year i have watched dozens of long movie reviews yet i havent watched a single movie this year

I've gone through multiple fans already because of this...

I have several ceiling fans that only get cleaned when the power goes out...

Hey there may or may not be at least one ceiling fan in every room of my house but certainly never two in the same room... Ok maybe two in the same room.

I actually don't like the sound of fans but I like air circulation.

I have one fan that's good enough that I just get it fixed whenever I start to smell that faint smell of burning plastic and see it start to struggle

My setup: dual screen, on one of them there's YouTube always on with some booktuber or d&d campaign, private and work chats, on the other screen browser and terminals. The fan that's sucking my vape fumes next to my desk has been running non stop for a couple of years. I sometimes turn it down to one, but it's always on. Sometimes the browser/terminal combo gets replaced by Project Zomboid. I'm in this chair 10-18h per day, almost every day. I'm okay. Everything's okay.

It may seem like chaos, but I don't know how to explain that it's relaxing.

Before I had to move my "office" to a smaller room, I had a 4-monitor setup. Usually one for a game, one playing music channels on youtube, one for discord, and one for browsing reddit or something. I want to go back...

i have 3 monitors, one is my primary, one is my secondary content consumption monitor, and my third is my "static" screen, music player, system stats, discord, communications whatever.

I have real workspaces since i use i3 so i can just hop between things per monitor as requested by me.

You forget the random book/magazine that's read and the crosswords/doodling on paper.

Isn't this more of a normie thing? I can't split my attention like that; I have ADHD. One task at a time, and even that's a struggle. I find myself constantly rewinding what I'm watching over and over cause I keep missing a line of dialog. Couldn't even imagine having to do that with multiple pieces of media at once. I'd probably have a panic attack lol

Nah man, my normie wife cannot understand why Iā€™ll have a podcast, audiobook, or TV show going while I play certain video games.

If thereā€™s multiple stories happening itā€™s harder. Iā€™ll miss stuff and have to rewind a lot. But if itā€™s like, Forza or Diablo or MSFS or something it works really well and keeps me engaged.

But I realize thatā€™s probably not how everyone works.

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Anecdotally, I'd say that this depiction is in line with how I feel my ADHD symptoms present themselves. Now, I don't typically have all of these things going at once, per se, but I will definitely queue up a series of attention sinks and bounce between them as soon as my brain loses interest in the topic being discussed. It's why the TikTok/YouTube Shorts format is so dangerous to my productivity, as it constantly delivers novel entertainment in bite size doses. If I'm medicated, and mindful of my behavior, I am able to shut out alternate attention sinks and focus on one at a time. I guess it's kind of like tunnel vision. That has a negative connotation, but it's super helpful to me since, left to my own devices, I have trouble regulating which stimuli to focus on.

Ymmv, of course.

Scientifically, no one can. They are just doing multiple things worse.

The point isn't to focus on them all. It's just to be there so as to make maintaining focus easier. It's hard to explain why

It's not quite as many different things, but I usually need music or podcasts in my ears while doing something else. Sometimes it's just noise; I occasionally have to rewind to check a joke or fact I missed while my focus increased on something else. If I don't have the stimuli, I find my mind wandering in worse ways though. Driving and a podcast help me focus on the read and not get highway hypnosis or looking at every single thing. Podcast while gaming helps me keep focus on anything somewhat mundane in the game (this varies by game, but most games aren't 100% pumping 100% of the time).

If I really need to focus on something, then podcasts are a distraction that gets turned off. Music also fits this roll, but depending on how much focus I need I may end up changing from music to lyrics to instrumentals.if I have no external extra stimuli I find myself getting bored, mind wandering, etc. So it helps me focus by having a second input my eyes don't need.

I can't do two visual inputs at once, nor two audio inputs. But I usually need input from both. Oh, and the fan thing is incidental. My room produces more heat so I have a room a/c running often, and it's also a white noise generator I guess. It doesn't run in winter so it's not always on, but this time of year it's a regular noise for me.

it's sorta like how a lot of ADHD people get tired when they take stimulants, my brain is just constantly seeking a ton of stimulation and if i don't satisfy that then i'm distracted by every little thing around me AND bored out of my mind.

you can think of it sorta like how a baby will keep grasping at things and being a menace, but then you put a toy in its hands and instantly it's utterly enamored and gurgling in joy.

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I had the ā€œthe fan is a thing??ā€ reaction too. I donā€™t always need one at home unless Iā€™m overheated, but my fan on my desk at work has been on for months. Every day that fan is not only on, but pointed right at me.

Although I only go into theboffice twice a week, I have a little fan that has been running almost nonstop for 4+ years that helps with the offixe background noise.

I turned it off once for three minutes before turning it right back on again. During the winter I point it away from me.

Diagnosed ADHD and hyperactive dude here.

Multitasking is a skill which deminishes with age (by exoerience). What you are refering to is information overload - you are not providing feed to your brain but draining your lifetime.

Imho this is due to bad habits not ADHD. You are still capable of restricting your attention to more sustainable things. Or to things others may benefit from. To me it is egoistic..!