nooooooo

hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 704 points –

For newer users, the 3 day no poop post was an legendary asklemmy post where OP asked how they could go three days without shitting. We never found out why.

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That was a 3 part series too, and they've all been nuked.

The source - I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can’t take up too much space. What food do I pack?

First follow up - [ANSWERED] How long does it take your body to process and excrete gummy worms, and how to make it faster? [URGENT AND SERIOUS RESPONSE REQUIRED]

Second follow up - What’s the easiest way to cure severe constipation?

Edit: All 3 have been found!

Part 1 is still on lemm.ee for now: https://lemm.ee/post/241183

And mirrored: https://ghostarchive.org/archive/BxVd1

https://archive.ph/qnCp5

Part 2 is still on lemm.ee: https://lemm.ee/post/279638

And mirrored: https://ghostarchive.org/archive/LbVlz

https://archive.ph/iB0Z9

Part 3 was archived: https://web.archive.org/web/20230630040126/https://lemmy.world/post/739546

Still on lemm.ee: https://lemm.ee/post/434589

And mirrored: https://ghostarchive.org/archive/pRume

https://archive.ph/YT97v

Why the fuck would it get removed? It’s part of Lemmy lore now.

Yeah that’s kind of a smooth brain move on the mods part tbh

Two other possibilities. 1) the user did it, or 2) the user started posting some crap, got banned, and lemmy’s trash mod tools encouraged “delete all posts.” Lemmy mod tools are truly garbage.

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Is it possible see the listed reason in mod log?

Yes, if it was removed by a mod. If it was deleted by the creator, then no.

Also strictly speaking maybe no if the admin of the user's instance did some special fuckery. Every post or comment is hosted first on the user's instance, then federated, so if the user's instance is running altered lemmy code then it could do all sorts of funky shit.

Edit: @mizu6079@lemmy.world is still around, so maybe they'll come and answer. That should have sent them a mention, the instance agnostic link for them is /u/mizu6079@lemmy.world (if your app can handle those, it will be a link on the website). Seems like they deleted all their comments.

Edit2: The original post still exists for me: https://lemm.ee/post/241183. You'll have to browse their profile using the instance agnostic link to see if it's on your instance.

Edit3: I see nothing on the lemmy.world instance, looks like they wiped their account entirely. Yet their posts do seem to exist still on some other instances.

I archived the federated post in-case it goes poof.

https://ghostarchive.org/archive/BxVd1

That's not the federated post, that's the current lemm.ee post - which won't include any of the user's comments (they are deleted on lemm.ee).

The federated post is always on the user's instance. In this case, even though the community it was posted in was lemmy.ml, the user was in lemmy.world, so that is the federated host. This is the link to the federated post, but it's been deleted so you just get an error: https://lemmy.world/post/440073

what if they deleted it because they hate being asked about it? and now we're here calling them out on their poop misadventures

This is the internet, we don't delete things here.

One of the biggest tragedies of the Internet: you can't delete stuff you want deleted, only stuff you expected to stay around, keeps getting deleted.

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The post got reddited lol

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Reading these comments, I now suddenly feel weird that I only shit twice a week. I eat daily 2-3 times and my shits aren't even painful or unusually big... Sometimes just 2 rolls and done... I also weigh around the 60kg, so I have no idea where all the food/shit goes... 🤷‍♂️

Maybe I'm becoming like Axe Cop and my body has a higher % waste-efficiency... 😂😅

Either way, once every 3-4 days is perfectly normal for me... Has been all my life... 🤷‍♂️

2 ROLLS of TP?

I guess by roll he means log.

I’ve never really heard a piece of shut referred to as a roll before. Maybe it’s a non English language thing.

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If i eat a slice of ham 2-3 times a day, i would shit once a month, probably. If you weigh around 60kg then i assume you dont eat very large meals.

A while back, i weighed around 20 stone i was eating 3 meals a day (occasionally 4 if we got a cheeky late night mcdonalds) and snacks randomly through the day. I would shit once a day sometimes twice a day.

Just for comparison.

i eat pretty large (but healthy) meals maybe 3 or 4 times per day and deliver payloads like every day or every two days, rarely twice per day.

I used to weigh 20 stone and some, and I'm pretty close to 14 now. I shit as much or more, but they're WAY smaller. My shits used to be monsters, now it's like a toot with a projectile and I'm done.

I think everyone just poops a little different

I must disappoint you. Usually both my meals on my day are dinner (warm food) whichever time it usually random is; at least 85% of it is fast food like McDonald's and alike; and to maybe give you an idea of what amount I eat in 1 meal: usually about the amount of a Maxi McDonald's-Menu with an extra burger (sometimes 2). 😅

Many people then usually tell me I have a "fast metabolism", but if that were true I'd shit more than just the twice a week... 🤷‍♂️

Wveryone is different.but you say 2 meals a day mostly fast food. But not 3 mealsz not snacks and not second dinner? There are many other aspects. But you might just be lucky i guess.

Yeah, no. I eat maximum twice a day as much as I can cause it's hard to make time for it being a bit on the ADHD side of the spectrum. There are days I might only eat once cause I skipped one, but most days it's 2: 1 a bit after waking up, the second usually some time before bed... I used to eat less, but that turned out to be one of the sources of migraines I used to have. Probably because I lack any reserves having almost no fat-storage...

Second dinner? Oo
I usually just can't myself up to make actual dinner until late in the evening. Don't know where I could even fit in a second dinner

Lol. Its a concept me and my wife used to indulge in when we would make our dinner and then later we would be watching a film and order takeaway delivery. No effort involved other than answering the door. It was not a good thing and made us both chunky but we dont do it any more as we decided to lose the weight and get back on a healthier diet.

Not an expert but a random thing I heard was: anywhere between 3 times a day, and once every 3 days is normal.

For me it depends on how stressed I am and how much fibre I eat. What I do know is that gut health is complicated.

You don't drink coffee right

i do actually. Also red bull and a lot of Cola...

If I eat too spicy though,I'll inevitably be on the toilet the day after, but it'd not so much be because of needing to shit but instead to get rid of the burning sensation in my colon once it's down there somewhere. 😅 Luckily I have to really overdo it to get this happening, yet I do like to occasionally overdo it anyway. I love spicy food way too much. 😅

I'm a 12-100 times a day dude. I hate you.

IBS gang represent

Fellow IBS. This changed my life

BTW these things have legitimately made a difference within two weeks. What the fuck. Ive been suffering daily for years, trying a few different probiotics in the past. I havent changed anything else about my routine except this and im legitimately more able bodied.

Thanks homie.

Glad I could help! Can probably find it cheaper at a local health food store.

My dude you either have a really slow metabolic rate or you got tape worm. I'd lean toward the former since you haven't dided dude to malnutrition yet.

I have already wondered the latter too, but have taken pills that would kill them a few times in my life to make sure, so either they are the Futurama self-sustaining worms immune to poison (😂) or it's not that. 😅

Lol well you could potentially have a condition named after you 😂

Damn, those are usually the worst. 😅

Interested in what your gut biomes are like.

Healthy, poop less, AND dealing with McDonald's food?

Wonders never cease

Yeah, hence why I also am no reference point for those things. I do many things you shouldn't and avoid many things you should. I don't eat vegetables unless the few in a hamburger or in mixed soup (the latter only happens once or twice a year or so). I only drink real Coca-Cola, Redbul, coffee, iced coffee,... I smoke both sigarets and 'recreational sigarets'... But I still look 10 years younger than I actually am and have no real health problems (as opposed to many my age) and my cholesterol isn't even high... 🤷‍♂️

Anyway, as long as this lasts I'm taking advantage of it. 😅😂

Well, I'll raise a glass to you!

Btw Interesting, phonetically functional spelling of cigarettes.

Wondering what your primary language is...?

Or if there's somewhere that sigarets is a common spelling/usage for cigarettes (?)

lol, I always confuse the word. In Dutch it's called a 'sigaret' and I once was told that was a very "French" way of typing it, which made me think now again I used 'cigarettes' back then (as that's similar in French) and used 'sigarets' now... My memory sucks. 😂😅

And as I do a search, a bunch of results for "e sigarets," especially from AliExpress.

Would make sense to rebrand away from the "cigarette" spelling to indicate a different method/form of ingestion/intake

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My friend's kid used to take ~1 shit a week. What happened is, he got constipated one time and had a very painful shit. Naturally, he didn't like it, who would, but was too young to understand the situation was abnormal. So, logically, in order to avoid pain while shitty he decided to avoid shitting as long as possible, which resulted in painful shits because it's a week's worth coming out at once.

Ended up being self-fulfilling. This went on for at least several months if not longer than a year.

So, to answer how not to shit for 3 days; apparently willpower is enough.

While potty training, my daughter held her poop for over a week. We had to cave and let her use a diaper, because she was at risk of permanent injuries. Then suddenly one day she decided diapers were for babies and started pooping in the toilet.

Then suddenly one day she decided diapers were for babies and started pooping in the toilet

Watch out though, apparently this can flip right back like a light switch.

For instance, my dad turn 76 and bam, right back to diapers.

Oh no! I have a hard enough time changing diapers now, can't imagine how hard it will be when I'm 109 years old!

Jesus… I poop 2-4 times every day.

I HAVE done a three-day zero-poo adventure many times at festivals. Usually I’d just eat those heavy bars and beef sticks. Then on the way back we’d stop at whatever place has the greasiest food, order an appetizer sampler, and just destroy the place’s toilets.

Woah, I did the same thing. My parents ended up taking me to several pediatric Psychologists to help figure out what the problem was, including some quack that tried to say I was acting out in subconscious anger because my Grandfather was a Freemason! Not, you know, the fact I didn't realize that bowel movements aren't supposed to be painful. I think I made it for two weeks once although I wasn't keeping exact score. And yes, I did end up in the ER over it at least once that I can remember.

I developed the same weird irrational fear about it from a young age. I'd hold it as long as I could. Even once that embarrassed me enough to start trying to stop, I still wasn't "regular". I'd go, it would be painful, and then I wouldn't have to go again for weeks on end. My mom kept tabs on the situation, took me to all kinds of doctors, tried all different laxatives and stool softeners, got a colonoscopy done, but the answer was always "I guess that's just her body's schedule". Best lead we got was allergy testing that came back positive (mild) for pretty much everything; the worst being eggs, whey/milk, and gluten. Which wasn't realistic to cut out on our budget but we reduced as much as we could.

Then my period kind of forced me out of it. So I have a couple big shits around my period that need to be cut with a knife and that's that. My PCP still asks about it occasionally lol, says her kid had the same issue, but as far as she can tell I'm in perfect health so...

Aside from the mild embarrassment I get when the topic comes up for whatever reason, I can't say it's the worst thing to not have to go super frequently. And I guess I got pretty good control of my bowels from the whole ordeal 😅 Although in terms of people in my life knowing about it from here on, I'll probably take the entire experience and my "schedule" to my grave.

It's funny you talk about whey and dairy because this same friend also has two kids who had issues with the proteins in milk as a baby. Same symptoms, constipation. They had to get special formula to alleviate problems. Over time the kids grew out of it.

honestly i was like this for a while too, though i very much understood what was going on.
it just becomes a hard cycle to break because we're so hard-wired to avoid unpleasantness.

in my case the solution was consuming as much fibre as i possibly can, it's helped me tremendously with gut health in general. It basically just makes things behave conveniently and sensibly.

The "why?" Was because this was in the middle of the Oceangate search and the search had been going on for about 3 days at that point.

He said he would be in a large tent with air conditioning.

The admins do not take kindly to shitposting and satire. I joined to make shitposts but when I found out how hard everyone hates that kind of thing, now I just bitch about tech and politics

I was wondering why my comments keep getting removed without notice.

Quick, somebody check on the can of bean post!

(Also, it's because Mizu deleted their account and it deletes all the info associated with it, because it doesn't show their account as banned.)

One time I went five days without pooping.

when I finally unloaded the pile I felt so much better. I had to sit on the toilet for nearly an hour, but god damn it felt good to poo after all that time.

Oh that's easy. Eat nothing but cheese until the desired outcome is achieved. You, uh, might want to have some stool softener and laxatives in your medicine cabinet for when you're done with your insane experiment though.

You all with your weird no fiber eating habits make my Coke-swilling, donut shoveling ass raise an eyebrow.

Have they considered eating fiber for that constipation problem? I used to eat a big bowl of oatmeal (not instant) every work morning. Regular as clockwork. Also prune juice and/or strong coffee will help move things along too. Laxatives are fine too, but they wouldn't be my first go-to to flush the system.