Is this it? Is there anything more to life, am I missing something?
Currently I am a uni student, working 4 days a week during the summer, moving to about 3 during term time.
Every day I'm not working I feel tired constantly, regardless of amount of sleep. I push through anyways to get the work that needs done finished, then sit down and just collapse basically. I wouldn't even call it relax, just sit and switch off.
I don't have any energy or motivation to play games anymore, even though I used to play avidly. I play guitar but it's been feeling like I'm not getting as much out of it now....
Once I'm out of uni, I'll be in full-time and, if I get into the industry I want, more mentally taxing work.
In short, is there something I'm missing here, or is work-eat-sleep-repeat all there is until I retire? Cause frankly I'm more sure I can be arsed if not...
EDIT
Thanks for the responses, I kinda posted this in a moment of hopelessness for life and I don't really know what I wanted as a response.
Asking for the meaning of life? Lemmy's great and all, but I don't think I'll find it here lmao
Regardless, there's a few things here for me to look into and take further, so thank you again!
If this is to close for comfort for rule 3, feel free to delete mods
Life is what you make of it. There's no meaning, no purpose. You have to make your own. That takes effort, but it can be rewarding.
It's like an open sandbox RPG. But you're forced to play it.
And the devs are lazy and don’t add new content
I've always said the meaning of life is a blank page. You get to fill out out. But that's both freeing and terrifying at the same time.
Except it's not really you /get/ to fill it out. It's more like you have to start filling it or you will die. If you ever let your pen stall for too long, you will become homeless, and you will starve. I'm just so tired and my page is still so blank.
That depends on your perspective. You are describing the terrifying aspects of filling out a blank page that represents your life. Not the time for writer's block to be sure!
Indeed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3VqAsMXE7o
There's no meaning to life. It's a scam of an idea that we all fall prey to. Instead, think of it as just creating new meaning to it every single day depending on what you think and do. It's a liberating feeling, to be honest. Because now you don't have to stress yourself out to figure out some grand meaning [that doesn't exist] and inevitably failing and being depressed over that.
Absolutely correct. There is no inherent meaning to life. You get to decide what the meaning of your life is. For me, this is the purpose of my life:
This is the objective. Then I try to figure out what steps will best accomplish that goal. Sometimes choosing to do something unpleasant now will lead to overall more happiness in your life, like going to the dentist so you don't lose a tooth. But don't just do a constant stream of unpleasant things just because society or family pressure you to do them. Do what you want to do with your own life.
I disagree a bit.
There is a meaning to life, but too many people are taught that the meaning of life will be foisted upon them by the invisible hand of fate and fail to realize that the meaning of life is kind of like the meaning of lego. You are given all of the pieces, what you make out of it is what is valuable.
So I agree with you that you do have to make something out of life to have a meaningful life but I disagree that it's a void and nebulous thing that you somehow have to wrest a shape from the nothingness for it to matter, that it has no inherent meaning.
The meaning of life is that we have the opportunity to create something out of the pieces we are given, not that we have to make a meaning out of something that is meaningless.
It sounds like you're experiencing anhedonia, which is strongly associated with depression. Ultimately life is cyclical, day to day, week to week, etc, but there should be frequent periods of happiness sprinkled in there, where you spend time doing things you like with people you like. If you can't find anything like that, maybe talk to a therapist.
"Should be".
And if not, work harder and have less frequently so you can pay for expensive therapy.
I am 26 and have been in the workforce for a few years.
Yes, except for the fact that you and I will not be able to retire.
I'm almost twice your age and found out the holy 401k that I've been putting money into magically has hardly anything in it. So yeah, I'm not getting the retirement that was promised either.
But luckily I got brought down with a huge illness, so I get to "retire" on medical disability. I'm thankful for that.
That must have been devastating. I'm sorry to hear that.
Thanks, I appreciate it.
It could have been way worse. So it's ok. Instead of going to work I go to doctors offices every few days. The rest of the time I do whatever I want. I'm actually enjoying life right now :)
You might die before then. I definitely saw "bottlenecks" in my mid-20s and late-40s where friends dropped like flies and some never got back up again.
Anyway, it sounds like you are having a crisis - people talk about the mid-life crisis but they can happen at any age but often a turning point:
Unfortunately, the meaning of life is what you make of it, so start managing your expectations.and don't measure your happiness against other people's - they're probably less happy than they appear.
I can't claim to have any clear answers but find.out what you love doing and build your life around doing more of that. Don't let your worklife eat into your personal time. Stop caring what people think about you, but that's not a license to be a dick. Make the world a better place for having you in it. If you need help, ask. Eat well, don't smoke, drink in moderation and wear sunblock - these things will help your later life be more worthwhile.
Yes, there is more.
You sound like you are experiencing burnout and as a result anhedonia and depression.
Burnout is a very real clinical condition caused by the demands you are operating under being dysfunctional in some way. It is very real and can lead to a dangerous depression.
Anhedonia is the loss of enjoyment in things you previously enjoyed. For example, when I had anhedonia video games because uninteresting, boring even, and the effort required to play was too much and there was no reward to playing.
You need to deal with this before it escalates into full blown depression and burnout. It can take much longer to fix than it will take to stop now, so get started ASAP. Starting an antidepressant may be helpful, it may not, but it is just one tool and I personally would avoid it having done it before.
The other steps for managing burnout are largely about changing the demands on you, the level of connection to other people, and what you do to relax. Exercise is a really helpful tool and honestly is what makes me resilient against another bout of burnout now.
Good luck
This comment right here.
With burnout and depressive states your ability to foresee the good in life, or even experiences outside of the grind, is severely curtailed: you essentially develop emotional tunnel vision. A psychiatrist can help you break the negative spiral.
It may be worth to check this with a doctor. What you describe may be sleep apnea. It is less common in young people but is better to check.
That, low Vitamin D levels (I suffered from exactly this due to being a shut-in + pandemic quarantine) or a bunch different things.
You definitely should not be waking up tired from just working. Get checked.
Just sounds like Vitamin D deficit, or something else related to not getting proper rest from sleep. This is not typical of someone your age.
Funny enough, I'm only saying this because I hate how fast some general practitioners are at diagnosing it, so the irony isn't lost on me. But you're actually stating the issues, and not just saying "I'm a programmer/factory worker" which is all it takes with them and why I despise it.
Get a blood test done if you want to make sure. Don't just listen to the internet.
Also I am just thrilled that so many here have encouraged you to view your awareness of just how shitty the system is as a mental illness, as a failure on your part to be correctly integrated into society. There is nothing wrong with you. What is wrong is the system itself.
Make sure that you're not depressed, this sounds like it. But it doesn't have to be a mental thing.
Get your bloodwork done at a doctor (tell them you're constantly tired / don't have energy), that's the first check. If that checks out then you might be getting enough sleep, but it's shitty quality.
For example despite 8+ hours a night I was feeling like crap most of the day. Well, my nose closed in the night and I couldn't breathe properly, which lead to awful sleep (I just had an operation for it, it has already gotten better but is still healing off). If you can breathe well through your nose, maybe do a sleep study to check if you actually get restful sleep.
If all of that checks out too, then you might have to do lifestyle changes. More fresh air, sun, workouts, eating better, but you know the drill already.
I'm also like you at times, and have been for a long time, but it does get better. One thing that's a bit crappy though is if you're in the US then vacation time is very limited (here in EU countries we don't have that problem as much). But really first check your health, you might confuse something being wrong with your body with a mental problem.
That's why we need to strive toward working less hours in general. Full time hours take up most of your waking hours when you factor in prep time, commute etc
What you do with your free time can make a world of difference of course but the math just doesn't work out when you get home and have like 4 hours to do everything you need to do before you have to go to sleep.
Agree... The fact that many people here think that if you're not happy woking, eating, sleeping then you're probably ill, it kinda scares me tbh
You're experiencing burnout. Rest up enough to improve your mental state, not finding joy in previous hobbies is a telltale sign. Try something that requires less critical focal or lets you take reprieve from your day to day schedule; vegging out, going for a walk, casual talk with friends, get counseling if you feel you need it, etc. The system will bleed everyone dry and leave them to rot if you let it. Take that time back and invest it in yourself.
@Shazbot
"The system will bleed everyone dry and leave them to rot if you let it"
👆
This! Exactly this.
Our system is designed to explore the weakest. Once you get trapped on the rate wheel you are done.
It's almost impossible for someone from a lower income family background to climb the "ladder".
A few things can help :
- Live with less
- Do a job that you like
- Eat healthy
- Do exercise
- Get a Hobby
-
We live in a sick society, so don’t let anyone tell you you’re the one who’s ill because the full time cycle of work-eat-sleep wears you down. You’d have to be sick to enjoy this system.
The system that requires you and I toil away day by day is temporary. One day (maybe not soon) we won’t have to work our lives away, either because we’ll need to survive or because the collective consciousness will finally realize that we’re living post-scarcity.
Either way, that’s what I look forward to and in the mean time I just do what I can to make sure I’m not completely miserable.
As others have said. If you feel like shit all day no matter how much you sleep then its most likely a diet issue. It's crazy how normalized completely shit diets are. Its not going to be easy to fix. You're going to have to do a lot of experimentation and research to see what works for you. I never really had a terrible diet and I felt okay most days. Never thought much of it but once I started to exercise more and looked into sports science on diets I realized how bad my diet actually was. After changing it and getting proper nutrition I was pretty shocked at how much better I felt. I was awake and alert all day and got great sleep. Definitely get a blood test or something. I also recommend doing some research on getting quality sleep. If you're getting a lot of sleep but its shit quality then it doesnt mean a whole lot. Consistent sleep schedule, eating at the right times, and managing the light you take in during the day can make a huge difference.
We were tricked into thinking being meat bots for the rich while they prance around the Disney land we create for them, is our purpose. And every miserable bastard will tell all the other miserable bastards to do the same shit because they are miserable bastards.
I was a chef for over a decade and worked in Michelin kitchens where I gave myself up for next to nothing. When I made it to two stars, I began vomiting repeatedly every shift, working at a loss of $100 dollars a day. Eventually, I broke down and tried to kill myself by the city river, but regrettably I failed.
If you live in America, all I can say is that if you are a man and you don't work, and you are alone and have no one to support you, you will eventually be killed. If you aren't killed on the street, you're killed in lock up because it's illegal to exist here without employment. Mental facilities funnel into jails where the bodies pass daily. At my city's coroner's, there are 400+ deaths unaccounted for, 100+ murders per year. I was sent there as a warning in California's HAM program. I was forced to watch people die and watch their autopsies as well as tour the whole facility, examining all the corpses. All the corpses whose genitals have catheters in them are people who died with no one to claim them, their organs are placed in hefty bags which are then sewed haphazardly back into their torso. The working class bodies are all Mexican, all under 60.
When I was homeless, on two occasions people tried to murder me and they only stopped because they thought I was dead. My medical debt in my twenties reached over ten million from all the hospital stays. I've learned that there are fates WAY worse than death, and you should always have the materials for an exit bag or an LD of insulin. In our society, if you are an extremely poor man, your agency amounts to, "will I continue to suffer another day? Or will I do what everyone wants and liquidate myself."
The reason I say all this is, when you don't want to work, remember it's not just money you lose but also the good will of others, including family members. The people you respect most put clown makeup on every day and freak out when you don't. I know this because I made a small fortune on the gamespot/and squeezes and my fortunes literally changed overnight. The money literally solved all my problems and I'm left disgusted. It also showed me how hard I was working for so little. I know now I'd rather die fighting breathlessly, as I always have, fighting for myself and my life. My life in the street was FAR more meaningful than the ones I've lived according to cowardice, constantly learning to cope with cowardice. The bottom line: make sure you know you're ready to leave the beaten path before you do because I promise you, life outside the social contract is indeed nasty, brutal and short.
God damn, this comment is a wild ride.
God.. I am sorry you gone through all that. And, it's very brave of you to explain your life, difficulties, different situations and your perspective. Thank you. You really gave me an insight, I mean it.
While reading this, I thought about my perspective to life. I am in my early twenties and try to do different stuff to earn my life, pursue some kind of satisfaction. This makes me get tired every day, and consider killing myself constantly. Now, I don't.
This summer I've gone through an emptiness, moneylessness. I agree, without money, I think about what to eat in the most economical way. That leads to more depression. Then every night I tried to find a purpose to not to kill myself and with this comment, it's done. I accept a perspective to life now.
Seeing all successful people, whether successful since born (nice family, good looking, no major illness...) or by later (breaking the chain of poverty, being the best at one stuff...) people damn kill themselves or be in a depression either thisbor that way. This fucking possibility stays there.
Seeing this situation, I accept the life on it's own. That's it. Born, study, socialize, work, get lost. Again, with your comment, I rationalized my perspective. I am, really, now happy with who I am and know how to make it be that way. Do my business, and fuck it. There'll be no miracles, there's no one to help you be happier.
Thank you. I wonder how can I prove it but you really helped me. I needed some rationalization.
I'm so proud you've had a breakthrough. Your two greatest allies: patience and curiosity. With those you can become whatever you want.
That sounds like me. You know what was happening to me. I was diagnosed with depression. I'm not a doctor and I can't diagnose you over a internet forum post, but you might want to to see a doctor for potential health issues, or perhaps you might be dealing with a depression issue, like I am.
I used to write and worldbuilding for my story, but ideas have run out and I just have no energy to continue writing. That's probably due to depression.
The meaning of life is what you want it to be. The universe has not given us one.
Biologically? It's to reproduce. For your DNA to continue existing (or at least part of it).
Evolutionary? For our species to survive and go on conlonizing the solar system, galaxy, universe... etc. (hopefully doing so peacefully unlike in the past)
Technologically? To achieve immortality.
Philosophically?
To find happiness. Do what's pleasurable to you (Hedonism).
To be a good person. Make the world a better place (even if only slightly).
To acquire more knowledge for yourself and share the knowledge to progress humanity. (Eg: Conduct science experiments, find fossils, identify unknown species (there are still a lot of unidentified species, oddly enough), etc.)
Personally, I just try to find happiness, being happy makes everything else more meaningful for me.
There's also another community where you can just talk !chat@beehaw.org about life and stuff.
Also, I know you are busy with college and stuff, but when I had an existential crisis, I found this show called The Good Place, it helped me process some thoughts regarding existence and stuff. You might want to watch it when you find the time to do so.
It sounds like you are describing depression. Here are some things that help me when I get to feeling like this. It's not easy to do when battling with low energy and a lack of motivation, but they help.
Do more outdoor activities. Normally in the form of walks, or biking to nearby locations instead of driving.
Drink more water. Basically, I just have a glass of water before drinking anything else.
Eat better. Nothing too extreme, I make an effort to prepare more foods at home and include more vegetables.
Change things. I'm not talking about a life change. Rearrange furniture, put up some different wall art, change your lighting, swap out the background images on your computers and / or mobile devices, etc.
Spend time with your thoughts. I would try to spend about 15 minutes to an hour each day sitting in silence, with no distractions. I don't force any thoughts. I just wait to see what bubbles to the surface. It usually helps me identify problem areas that I need to focus on.
It is also possible that you have started down a life path that you feel you are "supposed" to pursue and not necessarily a path that you want to pursue.
It could also be that you are burned out between school, work, and social obligations. Making more time for yourself or taking some time off, if that is an option, might help.
I was in the same work-eat-sleep-repeat for years and the only advice I have is to go see a psychologist (the one who helps by talking, sorry for my English). Ironically, but you need to work to build the work-life balance, and that's may be hard on start
Sounds like you are burnout.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_exhaustion
Well, capitalism has been hinted at here, but as far as I can see, nobody has suggested that we try to change society so that it's less oppressive. I realized a while ago that profit doesn't motivate me, and it sounds like you might have as well. I suggest (in addition to following the excellent medical advice) that you seek out your local socialist organization. Life doesn't have to be this depressing.
I attribute my loss of interest in things to social media. My attention span is just cooked.
I’m not depressed. I still deeply want to do the things I love - guitar and gaming are two interests of mine too. I just can’t stay with either for more than 5 minutes without being bored.
And yes, being perpetually tired is your new adult reality. I negate tiredness by hitting the gym for an hour each day. One hour of working out = 5 to 6 hours of unbridled energy for the day regardless of commitment. As I get older though, I get diminishing returns on this as the week goes on.
I also think it’s semi-natural to get more bored and tired as you get older. Technically, we’re supposed to grow up, breed, take care of kids, and die. That’s our deal. No where in there are we supposed to have room for a career, a degree or trade, two hobbies, 10 close friendships, annual overseas trips, and weekends partying. Just my two cents in this area. Not a scientist.
Up to now, you've been following the track your society has laid out for you, growing and building yourself into a useful and civilized adult. Unfortunately, this where the tracks end.
No one will blame you if you fall into the perpetual cycles of materialism and let the world grind you up in exchange for occasional pleasure of increasingly empty quality.
The only escape I have encountered is to find something that calls to you, and to treat it as more important than yourself. The hard part about that is that other people, your friends and family and strangers online, who do not themselves worship the same, will criticize your choice. And you'll have to decide which you can afford to do without.
Do you know if you snore? You may have sleep apnea where basically you stop breathing multiple times a night. Makes for chronic exhaustion and is very under diagnosed . You should look to get a sleep study done. It’s easily treatable with a cpap or apap device.
This is great advice. To add to this, over sleeping in general will tank your energy and make you feel even more tired. To add to this I know personally that feeling as if I have slept through a big portion of my free time will make me feel very upset and definitely make my depression worse. It's taken me a very very long time (probably 6-7 years) to actually realize this and force myself to not just slump around on days off but to actually get a proper amount of sleep and wake up early in the morning. Typically I will get up anywhere between 6-8am and I always feel much better as I know I have so much of my day ahead of me to work on projects or even just relax and watch TV, play video games, or spend time prepping for my week ahead just to do some simple things to minimize the amount of work I have ahead of me during the week.
I’ve been looking into this with my doctor and he showed me some example sleep study results. Some poor fuckers stop breathing, have an adrenaline response to overcome that, dip out of sleep for a second and then go back in, as often as every 30-40 seconds during the night You wouldn’t remember any of this later. It’s just like some Star Trek episode where you slowly lose your mind because some alien neutrino transmitter won’t let you sleep properly. Just without the techno mumbo jumbo.
There isn’t much else unless we start a revolution.
Yeah pretty much mate, welcome to adulthood.
If you make enough money you can have hobbies on the side or occationally take breaks from the routine and do something fun.
Assuming one gets the chance to retire. The trajectory things are currently on, I'm not counting on it.
I'm definitly not counting on it. Couldn't even afford a prope retirement plan as they are advertised and recommeded.
My retirement plan is probably picking up extreme sports when I'm really old ... let the odds do the work.
Find out when a frat party is planned, get some friends, and crash that shit. Wake up hungover the next day and swear you'll never drink again. Go get a big greasy Mexican breakfast. Go to the mountains and take a long hike. Find an attractive person and ask them out. Do the sexytime. Then come Monday you'll have done a bunch of cool shit to get you through the week.
lmao, you're still young, don't worry it will definitely get worse or better depends on your luck
That's.... not very reassuring
You've had lots of advice, so I'm not going to give any, but wishing you well mate. It's really hard when things feel like this. I hope it gets better for you soon and I'm optimistic that it will.
Yes There Is! I am here to tell you that your fully alienated existence can be mediated by engaging in your commodification as part of the spectacle of end stage capitalism. Consume and Be Consumed!
If you don't want that life, refuse to live it. You can survive on less money than you'd think, and you may be able to find ways to make money that are more chill or enjoyable. You can aggressively plan for a very early retirement. If those turn out to be next to impossible, well, you may have a very hard time, but you can still refuse to work and deprive society of what it definitely does not deserve from you.
Life is what you make of it. If you're not happy, better change things. Nothing wrong with a blue collar job. You can always return to uni later in life. Whatever you chose remember there will always be times when you wonder what it would have been like if you chose differently.
I would bring this up next time you see your doctor. Sounds like a mood spectrum thing which could slide into depression? I'm not an MD though, so don't take it from me.
Your metabolic health is trash, your gut bacteria is probably shot, and good chance you have sleep apnea. They're all related. Low metabolic health causes sleep apnea. Crap diet causes you to be fat which causes sleep apnea. Poor gut health means low nutrient absorption so you're more tired. Sleep apnea means you're even more tired. Tired people eat like crap.
Go find a good dietician. Fix your gut. Eat strictly only non processed foods. Exercise 30+ min a few times per week.
It's hard as hell to start doing all those things, but once you have the routine you'll feel amazing. Diet fix first though. Without nutrients you can't do anything.
Take internet diagnoses with a grain of salt but honestly this is a good list of things to at least investigate. Sleep health, diet, and exercise would put 90% of doctors out of business if people just took care of them (source on that: my doctor).
I would add depression to the list. Depression is not what most people think it is, and it can manifest with some of the symptoms listed here. Talk to a general doctor about it as a starting point.
Also it should go without saying that any addictions that may be involved should be addressed as well.
Sounds like something medical? Like depression or sleep apnea as someone else mentioned. It's hard to enjoy life when you don't have the energy to engage with it.
Please see a doctor!
You sound burned out and/or depressed. Are you doing the things you really want to do? Or are you just progressing down a track for the wrong reasons?
Video games and guitar don't give inherent meaning to life, but they are good examples of things that people do because they want to. Of course work is work for a reason, but It's important to think about whether you have genuine passion for your current path.
Pretty much that's it.
There's ups and downs.
You’re just learning how to become an adult
Sounds normal to me, growing up brings a lot of changes and responsibilities that you aren’t used to. We all go through it and find our way.
I hope you enjoy what you're learning, because there's a reason everyone tells you to do what you love. It can be an enormous source of fulfilment or a nightly headache.
A few years ago working at a convenience store right out of school, I used to park 15 minutes early just to sit and sulk about having to go in for 1st shift. I went through a period that kinda sounds like yours. All I wanted was to go back to college and stay there. I really enjoyed the learning, spending time with my peers, and the drugs.
Now, 5 years later, I might get a few hours per day where I'm not working on something and I couldn't be happier. Right now you're probably working a college gig. It's probably not entirely fulfilling work. For now, just keep going and keep an eye out on new skills that you can learn. I've learned things from the dregs that has applied to every
You get new hobbies and pleasures as you go too. Long-term projects become more sexy. Things you can drop in on and leave whenever. I think that's why "the dad with the train set in the basement" is such a trope.
Do you have a pet? I couldn't live properly without a cat around.
The Home Depot thing is real. It's quickly becoming one of my favorite places to go. Maybe head over there sometime, think of all the stuff you can build, and learn something new while building it. We have YouTube, we better take advantage of it.
The responsibility kinda becomes a point of pride. Idk if pride is the word for it. It certainly makes you stand up straighter, with more self-respect.
This is water
Sorry to say but this is it. If you follow the uni then work path, this will be your life. Getting married and having children will add more stress and expenses.
That's why I hate money and the setup of the world, is plain satanic if you ask me.
However you can change the course of your life now. If you're able to find some land somewhere to live, build an initial home out of scraps and farm the land, you might be able to live free, but without money.
Alternatively you could travel the world, doing odd jobs in each country to make money. Especially in Europe, once you're here, there are no borders and plenty of trains so get a temp job and live in a hostel. See that country, meet people, have fun then move to the next country and repeat. This has worked out well for some people who say it have them a new perspective on life.
It's up to you.
Don't drag satan into this, the world is overwhelmingly more christian than satanic.
Do you not know who owns this world? Satan. That's why Jesus said, my kingdom of not of this world.
Jesus will destroy this world when He returns and will make the earth anew. Those who belong to Him will live on it forever.
To be one of those, believe in Jesus as your Saviour and love God. Repent of and turn from sin. Live a holy life and keep His commandments. You will know Him and He will know you and you will live with Him forever.
The 2 most important commandments:
Love is the essence of Christianity, but sometimes they involves reproving someone in the hope they'll stop doing bad.
Anhedonia or depression.talk to a professional
Are you eating enough healthy food? I used to have some periods of lethargy and depression caused by an inadequate diet.
Have you been sleep tested for sleep apnea? That could explain the constant exhaustion as well since your body may not actually be resting like it should even you sleep.
Honestly, it sounds like depression to me. Work is unfortunately part of living in a capitalist society. It’s up to you to balance that with personal time. It sounds like you have lost interest in personal hobbies though and that is a sign of depression. I’m obviously no expert but I do/have suffered from depression and have had similar thoughts.
What's your diet like? Everyone is different, but for me eating fewer carbs and more veggies helps keep me from getting lethargic.
You realized this much earlier than most people, which is good! Honestly I've never found a good answer to this...
You can try to minimize the time you spend working by getting a remote job or a part time one, or ideally try to pile up some money to take a year (or any time) off if you're confident that you can get another job after that. Minimize the money you spend on material stuff so that you can work less, or go somewhere on vacation..
But if you find a good solution please let me know :)
In addition to what others have said, I think a lot of people would agree that their 20s were the most difficult time in their lives. It’s a stark contrast from your life leading up to it, where everything from nap time to senior prom has been planned out for you, your job is simply to attend. Around your age this changes and you’re “given the keys” and have much more freedom to choose your path. (This is very much an oversimplification and does not apply to everyone)
This will sound kinda strange but for most people, at ~20 you still haven’t really settled into the person you will be for the rest of your life. Your brain is still developing and changing. It’s a time for turbulence and self-reflection for many, and I absolutely would not take your current outlook as “this is it.” You still have a lot to learn about yourself and the world, and I mean that in the best way.
It does sound like you could be overtaxing yourself, but others have covered that already. Try not to take things too seriously, and make sure to stop and smell the roses. We’ve heard that so many times that it’s easy to overlook what an amazing piece of advice it is. All of the happiest people I know are the types that do literally, and figuratively, stop to smell the roses.
I might get downvoted for this, and fair enough, but you should try shrooms.
I’ve got severe depression and social anxiety, so I’m familiar with the whole “what’s the point of this?” mindset. Shrooms kind of gave me a different perspective on life, and why it’s so precious and worth experiencing.
And while it’s anecdotal, I know many people that’ve had similar experiences. Either way, I hope things get better for you!
The mystery of life is not a problem to solve, but a reality to experience, a process that cannot be understood by stopping it. We must move with the process. We must join it. We must flow with it.
I’m in a similar boat, and am working on managing my dopamine set point. It’s tough, but it def helps, I recommend looking into that!
Edit: simile -> similar
Hey it can work out for you. As people say you have to make it happen. I decided to go the non college route (totally not because I got put on academic suspension due to my at the time undiagnosed ADHD) and worked in call centers for 10 years slowly working my way up and hopping jobs. I now get paid a comfortable salary for my girlfriend and I and our 3 pets. I choose my own hours and my own workload. Awesome work life balance. It is possible but doesn’t mean it will be easy.
This smells like burnout. I would suggest taking a break. Can you take a semester off? Maybe go travel? Working holiday somewhere?
That sounds like either a terrible work environment or depression.
I absolutely hated my first summer job in high school. Because of that, I found myself avoiding doing things I loved, because they made the time go faster which meant it was time to return to work that much faster. Once I quit, and for all other jobs I've had since then, I've never felt like that again. If you generally enjoy your job, I'd probably look into if you might be experiencing depression instead.
Hobbies and regular vacations are things that should give you energy for those more stressful times at work. Especially, regular physical hobbies are important for stress relief and staying energized. I had to take a 3 month break from my hobby sport earlier this year due to an injury and I absolutely felt terrible during that time.
Quick question. Is there a possibility it's depression? I relate to you quite a bit.
I have it, so if you want to ask Amy questions, ask as much as you want
Death.
Life advice:
a) if you eat stupid food you get tired and ill. Avoid gluten and corn syrup and acquire paleo + protein.
b) you get tired doing exercise you don’t want to do. Folks doing work they enjoy can do it all day long.
Seperate yourself from materials and you will find meaning
Join the Foreign Legion then.
You are in uni, why are you working? Just take it easy and enjoy the experience