Everything to keep disguise

hypertown@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 1293 points –
92

I saw an angel take a shit, then eat said shit.

God works in mysterious ways.

This reminds me of the story about some old dude's dog that always shits on my neighbor's sidewalk. One day neighbor saw that and run to that guy with scary look on his face. He started scolding old guy that he should clean after his dog and old guy respond he's too old to do that, his back hurt and stuff. The dog saw the whole thing and in a shame he just ate his own shit so poor old man didn't have to clean it up.

Kudos to the dog.

If you're unable to care for a pet, you need to find it a new home.

my angel went one level derper.

he took a shit, ate it, puked up that eaten shit, then started eating that shitty puke... which he puked.

had to throw out that sofa.

One of mine brought in a frozen turd one winter and started chewing on it.

Angels attacked a friend of mine for more than 90 minutes, taking off and eating part of her legs, arms, breast and face. The paramedics that eventually brought her to the hospital were so traumatized they still have not returned to work. My friend has had 11 reconstructive surgeries so far.

#touchedbyanangel

Did that happen to be a pit bull angel?

These were 4 german shepherd angels

Ah yes, dogs made to hunt and maim humans hurt your friend, so all dogs are bad as a consequence.

I'm truly sorry for what happened to your friend, but people are 100% responsible for their pets. Be not angry at the dogs, but the person that owned them.

Imagine a pitbull goring a toddler before looking you dead in the eyes and saying "BE NOT AFRAID"

Damn a lot of you hate dogs huh

Right? These comments are wild. I used to browse r/dogfree because I thought it was (mostly) satire and OTT on purpose, and I'd laugh at a lot of it. I thought it was parodying something else.

Every once in a while there'd be stories that made me empathize and feel bad for the person, like some people were saying that they had severe debilitating allergies and they couldn't frequent their favorite restaurants anymore because pet patios were installed - yeah that sucks.

Some stories were even straight up super sad, like people who were traumatized from being bitten/attacked earlier on in their lives. Yeah - I'd probably be wary of dogs too if that happened to me.

But the vast majority of those comments were like "OMG DOGS STINK AND THEY SLOBBER EVERYWHERE. HOLY SHIT THEY LICK THEIR NUTS LOL FUCK DOGS AMIRIGHT?! THEY POOP ON THE FLOOR - GROSS." I genuinely thought those were purposeful parody stories because hating dogs for just existing is such a...weird stance.

Apparently it's a thing though πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ.

I wanna know if they all applied those sentiments to all pets.

There isn't a single domesticated animal that isn't "gross" and has to be cleaned up after constantly. Dogs will shit on the floor when you don't let them outside to shit in nature, but a cat doing what it's supposed to do will shit in a box you have to empty regularly and shreds your furniture for fun. At least dogs only lick their balls, cats have the flexibility to straight up lick their assholes.

You can train a cat to shit in the toilet and flush. Also, we accidently locked our cat out of access to the litter box at night ones and he shat in the corner of a closet, which I honestly just found very sad but polite

I don't know if that's possible with every cat. Some cats are smart and some cats are dumb, just like people. Not only that, but even if the cat is smart enough, sometimes they just don't want to listen.

Have you trained your cat to do this? I don't even know where you would start, but I'm interested.

I have not, you have to train them from a really young age as cats get stubborn when they get older. We got our cat from a shelter, so we never got the chance to try. but basically you have to start with getting a litterbox which you can put on the toilet, after a while you can remove it and they keep dumping their load there. Not sure how you would get them to flush, but I have heard of cats doing just that

That's wild! Thanks for the info. Yea my rescue cat is probably too old to try now, too. I will definitely remember this next time I wind up with a kitten.

Edgelords gonna edge. You like something common and popular? Well I don't because I'm incredibly unique and tragically misunderstood - just like the other thousands of people whose sentiments I echo. Replying makes me a hypocrite, but pondering other's self-imposed misery is a waste of your time. If we magically exterminated these pesky "x" all that pissy emotion would just transfer to the hot new "y". Any reason to complain will do. It's the act itself that releases the cortisol.

I personally hate any animal that poses a significant danger to me. So as much as I hate caracals, tigers, etc while loving cats, I hate large dogs that are aggressive, are able to kill me and if they decide to do so, I wouldn't have too much of a defense against them. Anything else is fine by me.

A cat could kill you, easily. They literally have razor sharp claws in all their legs, a well placed puncture or even an infected cut could endanger your life. Cats have, rarely, killed babies. They are literally mostly carnivore tiny tigers who kill for a living.

Cats can also carry infection diseases on their claws, including toxoplasmosis.

Cats prefer warm meat, so if you die and they are hungry they are multiple times more likely to start eating you immediately.

Dogs at least will wait until its a survival issue.

Well I suppose its a better use of a corpse then just burying it.

I saw an angel casually walk down a street with a human head in his mouth. I'd post the video but, y'know, rule 4.

Where the fuck did you have to see that?

Mexican news. It happened in Zacatecas last year.

If it was a turtle with a head on its back, I could stomach it. But a dog?!

According to the lore, demons are fallen angels so you can keep this narrative going

Angels in the Bible: "Be not afraid"

Angels in Ultrakill: "I WILL WRITE A BIBLE STORY IN YOUR BLOOD, MACHINE!"

My angels are really fucking stupid. And one of them killed and ate (half of) a mole yesterday.

That mole was coming right for you! That angel saved your life!

Hey, angels get hungry for that succulent childflesh just like anyone else.

This tracks. The God of the Bible sent an angel to kill the first born child of every household in Egypt unless they splattered lamb’s blood over their door. (Hence the Passover)

An angel ran out in front of my truck the other day…

Be not afraid, I just got a craving for some literal baby back ribs.

People complain about all the tankies plaguing Lemmy but I think the real issue is dog worshippers. I should start a community like FuckCars but about dogs instead.

On second thought, that would probably attract people who love dogs a little too much...

Wait, that's not what FuckCars is about?

Surprisingly not. It's about people who never stepped foot outside of a big city and think the entire world can function without cars. They have this crazy idea that without cars, we could just have buses, bike lanes, trains, etc.. everywhere.

They don't realize (or care) that this is literally not feasible for many rural areas. There just isn't enough people to support these services and the distances between locations is too great.

You know fuckcars just asks to have infrastructure like Europe, right?

And as someone living in Europe.. it's great!

Also, the USA literally used to have a train network going through darn near every village. It existed before cars, after all.

Don't listen to them. They're exaggerating. Fuck cars is about wanting infrastructure to make more places walkable, not insisting everywhere must be walkable or accessible by public transit. Even though that would be cool, that's so far from the actual truth.

Used to live in country Australia, and there were no buses, trams, trains or even sidewalks. It's 400km to the next town and without a car you are literally stranded.

I'm all about public transport if it's available, but without choices I'm forced to use the only available option.

Yeah, you should be in fuck cars then, coz you deserve better pubic infrastructure

Used to be, but when I tried to explain my (old) predicament looking for support/alternatives a lot of people just assumed I was some car lover. Yes it's about better public transportation for all and I honestly want that. But a lot of their suggestions weren't that realistic for rural Australians.

Central Australia is one of the least population dense places in the world and there is too much space, not enough people and the cost of setting up a train/bus network would be astronomical; especially if you look at the cost per person, both economically and environmentally.

Please understand that I really am not trying to start an argument, I am open to realistic alternatives, and want better forms of transportation everywhere. But I just hate being piled in with car nuts just because I disagree that adding more buses in central Aus would help at all. So, I just stopped going to fuck cars after a while.

Aah, yes, that does happen. I personally think it's a result of trying to apply their lived experience to a place so separate from theirs it might as well be a different continent (/j)

It's an issue with the whole internet tbh, we as a society might not be as used to a global world as we'd like and that creates friction and troubles even when we agree on the larger point.

Thanks for hearing me out and understanding.

Maybe there isn't a perfect solution, but I want to have the conversation regardless as it's shining a light on a real problem that needs to be resolved. I just hate being disregarded as some car lover due to the lack of understanding and assumptions. I might try fuck cars again in hopes that other are like yourself.

Have a good one mate.

You have a fundamental misunderstanding of transit activists if you think that's what they want. The meaning behind Fuck Cars is that we have harmed and destroyed so much of the world, our cities, our cultures, and our quality of life for the sole benefit of the private car industry. Obviously trucks have their uses in agriculture, construction, etc., but they have no business being driven through heavily populated neighborhoods. Cars should be a tiny fraction of the world's modes of transport and instead it's often the first and only option.

Like all these comments about dogs are negative lol. It's actually really weird how hateful these comments are. Like imagine someone hanging out with someone who said a cat was cute and then responding with "I fucking hate cats, I want to start a group about hating them so much." Weird as fuck.

There was a subreddit for this called dogfree I believe, kinda like childfree. So I'm sure it's a community that would have a following. I'm a dog lover, but I get they're not for everyone.