Satanists to volunteer in Florida schools in protest at DeSantis religious bill
Satanic Temple objects to governor’s push for more religion in schools and says members could act as student chaplains
Dark messengers of satanism could soon be walking the hallways of Florida’s public schools, and it’s a consequence of hard-right governor Ron DeSantis’s push for more religion in education.
Members of the Satanic Temple say they are poised to act as volunteer chaplains under a state law that took effect this week opening campuses to “additional counseling and support to students” from outside organizations.
Although HB 931 leaves the implementation of chaplain programs to individual school districts, and only requires schools to list a volunteer’s religion “if any”, DeSantis has made clear its intent is to restore the tenets of Christianity to public education.
Without the bill, DeSantis said at its signing in April: “You’re basically saying that God has no place [on campus]. That’s wrong.”
The satanists see the law, which comes amid a vigorous theocratic drive into education by the religious right nationally, as an equal opportunity: if Christian chaplains are permitted access to students, often at the most vulnerable and impressionable stages of their lives, then so are they.
Fucking Guardian... either falling for stupid propaganda or using scare words. Shameful either way.
The Satanic Temple's Seven Fundamental Tenets:
https://thesatanictemple.com/blogs/the-satanic-temple-tenets/there-are-seven-fundamental-tenets
What sort of "dark messengers" preach compassion and justice?
I think that was meant to be tongue in cheek. The article also says:
definitely not a very good article opener then
Well this just proves that I’m right when I say their name is a double edged sword. On one hand, it’s inflammatory and mocking which creates a unique angle to engage politics with. Stirs up evangelicals while also being entirely harmless, making them look foolish.
But on the other hand, seen here and elsewhere, it creates confusion that limits the organization to just antagonism at times. I wish there were more non-antagonistic humanist groups for this exact reason.
There's the church of the flying spaghetti monster
It was, but it was a poor time to joke when it's such a common misconception.
It's a good thing it's a common misconception. The misconception is the point.
It is for fundamentalists, but sane people should know that the Satanic Temple is a secular organization.
How dare you? They're religious, and enjoy every freedom given to religions by conservative politicians.
It's religion detached from spirituality, just like some claim to be spiritual without religion.
If that was the intent, they shouldn't have intended it that way. Because people won't take it that way.
Christian missionaries.
To be fair, they call themselves The Satanic Temple. If they didn't want to court the "dark messenger" notoriety in the first place, they would just call themselves something serious like The Humanist Society.
Q: What do you call people who believe in the existence of Satan?
A: Christians.
You bring up a good a point, and it is meant to be provocative on purpose. It really helps remind Christian people of the importance of separation of religion and state when they see Satanic statues next to the ten commandments after they pass legislature requiring display of religious symbols and what not.
It's one of the only effective ways to get these people to stop trying to push their religion on everyone else. Those types don't typically listen to reason or compromise with others, for that matter.
I've seen religious people treat the word Humanist as if it was a dirty word right alongside atheist and then conflating atheism and humanism with Satanism. "The best trick Satan ever pulled was making you believe he isn't real."
I suspect The Satanic Temple figured that no matter what they called themselves it'd be demonized so they beat the Christians to it.
Guessing you didn't read the article, since they elaborated more about the Satanic temple further down?
I read it. Burying the lede doesn't excuse the beginning.
Dude, it's tongue in cheek. It's meant to be funny. Even if you don't find it so, it very obviously wasn't meant to be taken seriously
You assume the general populace can recognize intent in writing, and differentiate between things like comedy, satire, and factual statements when they aren't explicitly declared in context.
The fact there is currently so much successful propaganda spread worldwide through traditional media that we're seeing a large resurgence of extreme nationalism, xenophobia, and Nazism again, along with a current very public genocide with a ton of public support, proves that to be factually incorrect. The average person is fucking stupid.
Are we then supposed to lower the standard of all writing to the lowest common denominator, then? I get your point, but I'm not sure the solution is to move to grade school levels of communication.
For some things, yeah, probably. If you're trying to inform people, you need to adjust your communication to something they'll understand (and you can stomach).
You don't need to change your novel to appeal to everyone.
A lot of marketing and journalism already targets a sixth grade level because many people don't read well.
It's a British news outlet. Just because you're reading it in the U.S. doesn't mean it was written with an American sense of humor in mind.
Clearly no one but the British can possibly be familiar with British humor.
I think it’s funny to call every Christian leader a pedophile rapist because it tends to be true. But for some reason the guardian doesn’t start every article about Christians that way…
Lots of people will take it seriously and they will not read to the end where it is explained. In fact, what many of them will see is that part in a little preview blurb and get worked up about it.
Well, let them? The people who would take it seriously and get worked up about it are the ones who are in support of this stupid law in the first place.
So, let’s just strengthen that outrage muscle then, huh?
What are they gonna do that they're not already trying to do? Revolt? Subvert the rule of law? Shoot up some schools?
I’ve spent the past decade thinking “surely they won’t get worse than this” and they always do
... fair point.
Literally more of the last one, yes.
I've heard this lie before.
I bet you’re going to tell me you read it somewhere
yes, FS wrote a whiny post about how he didn't know coupons existed on the internet, and how that it is everyone else's fault.
He then proceeded to misread everyone's comments, while following up with claims that no-one said X or Y, when they did. It was an absolute joke of a post.
So no, when FS claims he read something, I've got that (x) doubt meme on standby.
Sorry, I was just attempting to make a joke, nothing more than that!
“Many will be purged, purified and refined, but the wicked will act wickedly; and none of the wicked will understand, but those who have insight will understand” (Daniel 12:10).
Thank God we have Satanists.
We’ll never stop. 🙂
I really need that on a Tshirt.
CGPT40 tried
Why first one looks like Icon of Sin?
"Dark messengers for Satanism"... Modern journalism really is fucking stupid. The Satanic Temple doesn't do anything like that, and starting your article out that way comes across as totally unserious and diminishes the work the Satanic Temple is actually out there doing.
The whole point of calling themselves Satanists is to spook Christians, and the article is playing into the joke on purpose.
Hey fair point!
They confused satanists with goths
Who are also not like that. My goodness. Let's throw in another round of prejudices, shall we?
Huh? Goths are in all black.
Mostly they like wear black, true. But that's not being "a dark messenger for Satanism", which seems to be implied by your previous comment.
Which is their agenda after all :)
Yeah I was going to say, do some basic research guys. The Satanic Temple does not actually believe in Satan.
More Goths In Schools
"More Goths, Less Cloths" has a nice ring to it if someone wants to use that as a campaign slogan for a school board seat.
They also sounds like a specialty boutique strip club
You had my attention, you now have my interest.
That sound you hear is my bank account pre-emptively emptying itself.
I misread that as Clothes and was going to note that they will deal with minors ...
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Hail Satan ⛧
Ok kids, time for your lesson...
"I always thought there couldn't possibly be a God, with all the evil in the world. But perhaps... all this evil exists because there is a God. Perhaps, yes, perhaps this God just isn't a particularly nice guy. It's possible that God isn't a DJ, but an arsehole."
"He's probably both. A DJ who exclusively plays Rammstein at a kid's birthday party."
"You know the saying that God created Man in His image? Well, look around. If you assume that God is an arsehole, it suddenly makes a lot of sense."
Freely translated from The Kangaroo Chronicles by Marc-Uwe Kling
Inb4 Desantis says "no, not you. You don't serve the Christan God and therefore aren't a recognized religion."
At least we can count on SCOTUS to strike that down, right?
Right?
How much money can we pull together for Clarence Thomas?
I heard the corrupt shithead also likes free vacations, so maybe we can chip in on a Royal Caribbean cruise or something, and maybe get him a snow cone and a breath mint on the side.
Clarence Thomas:
If you read the article, he already did.
Oh boy. Can't wait for the stacked Florida courts to not strike down this non Christian religious discrimination.
Proud member of the Satanic Temple since 2021. Unlike catholics, christians, muslims, jewish, mormons, and scientologists, I've had nothing but great news from my religion since 😁 We just keep rolling out the hits, challenging religious overreach at every turn.
We're now accepting donations to open our second abortion facility, and you can have a chance to name it!
Ejaculate Misconception too good.
Thank you Satanists.
Hail Satan!
religion and capitalism - the banes of human existence
They are mere tools for power-hungry egomaniacs, who have no regard for the well-being of others. Tools which make it especially easy for them.
Replace religion and capitalism by something else and you get a similar picture.
Hell is other people. It's humanity itself which is the bane of human existence.
i believe it's possible for us to be better. to accept the 'human condition' is a death sentence as a species. throughout history, we have brief moments of exemplary behavior. we are capable of more. don't accept the current state of affairs.
I like to think so too. Humans have a lot of potential, for the good and the bad. It's important to nurture the good and diminish the bad.
For those in the back, god has no place
What are they going to do? Arrest them? There are only so many resources the state of Florida can throw at stupid shit like this before their economy implodes. But hey, the tax payers their will pay for it. In state, and federally.
Mass incarceration becomes it's own reward when you can leverage your prison population as cheap labor
God has no place on campuses. And god has no place in the government. God is dead.
That assumes god existed
Burn churches!
Real Spanish Civil War Hours
Satanists doing God’s work… who knew?
The irony is that only Christians believe in Satan. Satanists don't, it's a humanist movement.
The Church of Satan are satanists.
Founded in 1966.
Yes ... the most popular Satanist orgs are relatively recent.
It'd be nice if the FSM "church" did the same.
~OH sorry I thought DeSantis~was a satanist
DeSatanist
Little disingenuous to call secular atheists satanists, but I guess they sort of asked for it when they picked the very troll-ey name for their organization.
I don't think volunteer and charity work is very satanic, at any rate.
Why not?
Well, the only strong source for what could be satanic would be the various Abrahamic religious texts. I'm no expert, but I haven't heard charity work being frequently associated with satanic principles in those pages.
I would not consider the Abrahamic texts to be canon about Satanism. That's like learning about Native American culture from Spanish conquistadors.
Considering Satan is a fiction, I'd say Satan can be whatever you want him to be. It doesn't help that the Bible doesn't actually explain what happened to cast Satan into Hell other than there being a war in Heaven. Pretty much all we get is Revelation 12:7-10.
Also, there's Isaiah 45:7
So if God creates evil, what does Satan even do? Carry out his work for him? That seems to be what Twain thought when he wrote Letters from Earth. Seems as good a source as any.
This is probably also true for the Christian God. But let's assume for the sake of discussion that the Bible is a factual account: the Book of Numbers already refers to the worship of the Semitic god Ba'al in the "ancient" people of Israel. Etymologically speaking, Ba'al is identical to what later became "Beelzebub", one of the names of Satan; it is reported that the statues of Asherah (the wife of YHWH) and Ba'al were destroyed. Ultimately, according to the Bible, the followers of YHWH waged a "holy war" against the followers of the other gods and declared these gods to be the "Antichrist" by a mere act of speech.
It is not known whether the followers of Ba'al were really less merciful than those who later waged crusades.
The problem with treating the Bible as a factual account is nothing adds up in it. Saying Beelzebub is a "name of Satan" is really misleading and a result of later negotiation with the text. Just like the serpent in the garden of Eden wasn't Satan until folks decided it was - there is no support for that in the text at all.
Satan is more like calling someone enemy - you can have lots of enemies without them all being the same entity.
Also I'm not sure how the "god" (Satan) that wanted humans to have freewill is the bad guy, when "God" for some reason was purposefully trying to keep humans as puppets (or play things) in his little garden. And then had to punish the humans as soon as they could do what they wanted instead of the story laid out for them.
Reminds me a lot of President Business from the Lego movie. He wants everything to be perfect but people keep doing whatever they want to and screwing it up, so he wants to use the "kragle" to "fix" the plan and make everything perfect again.
Ignorance and subservience is a key point of Christianity, and if you can stomach interacting with them long enough more will say it out loud than you'd think, especially anti vaxxers and other super right dinguses -
it boils down into "something something gods will," science and knowledge are sinful, our poking around in the ways of the universe are the cause of all the ills in the world, and we should return to a time when all our information is disseminated exclusively by religious leaders.
Thats why, while there are of course more fantastical/"biblical" bands, a lot of black metal is actually more humanist and pro knowledge, pro living, pro freedom. Darkness, the left hand path, etc are just metaphors for rejecting blind faith and obedience.
I don’t consider the Abrahamic texts to be canon about Christianity. Well at least not any more.
If you want to go on the Hebrew side, ha-satan (the satan) means something like 'the adversary' and it's arguably more of a title than a person. There are plenty of cases where actual charity would be against the pain the system is causing
You mean Lucifer? The light bringer?
Or maybe the serpent that only told Eve that there's nothing stopping her from eating the fruit that would allow her to understand the difference between good and evil?
How many people did Satan kill in the Bible? And Yahweh?
Who's the actual bad guy here?
Volunteer work with the express intention of challenging Christian theocracy and the church's dominion.
Seems pretty Satanic to me 🤷♀️
Probably as good a time as any to point out the satanic temple actually sucks: https://youtu.be/3lV8GLQtOTs?si=H-8Obibrpz31jDri
Also important to point out the Satanic Temple is not the same as the Church of Satan (or Satanic Church as you've labeled it here).
Yes, that was a mistake and I have edited my comment. I am talking here about the temple
This is the Satanic Temple, very different organization that only ever brings itself into the picture when Christians are trying to ram religion down people's throats.
That's who I'm talking about, I'll edit my comment
Probably as good a time as any to point out religion across the board actually sucks: reality
Fixed that for you, got you champ!
While it's true that theism is inherently harmful, The Satanic Temple isn't a theistic organization. The problems with TST stem from the shithead that runs the org.
Despite that, they seem to be a problematic, but necessary force to fight religious extremism in the US. I'd prefer it if other secular orgs had the same reach and capabilities, but it seems TST is the best we have at the moment.
Alright, not really my point but thanks?
I'll add to my other reply that pointing out that the TST has a history of co-opting issues and covering up abuse is a recognition of reality, and that dismissing criticism is exactly the problem with organised religion.
I agree with you but a link to a two hour video is never going to convince people in a comment.
It's a shame people are downvoting this, the satanic temple has ties to the far right and is not the great thing people think it is. They make bold claims to get news attention and donations but don't follow through with action, and in the case of abortion rights claim that joining the temple will grant religious immunity when this is in fact false and actively harmful. Overall they distract attention from real activism without taking any real action. Watch the video essay in the parent comment to get the full picture.
I need to see some receipts for these wild claims.
https://queersatanic.com/
This is discussed in depth in the video linkrd by the subthread post.
Stop thinking in dualities and binaries. It's not so simple, but to my own dismay, Greaves is indeed a grifter, a chauvanist and all the bigotry that comes with it.
If you give a shit about the downtrodden, for whom the metaphorical Luci Morningstar is held up to empower (it is just an extension of christian lore after all), then listen to the non-men, non-white and queer folks who saw first hand how TST, following in CoS' footsteps, took advantage of us.
This article is literally about them taking action but OK.
I appreciate you saying this! I didn't want to type up anything specific myself because it was pretty late and I didn't have the energy to check any claims.