What would you do if a scraggly homeless person knocked on your door, and all he asked was for a sandwich, a bottle of water, a bath, and perhaps a beard trim?

over_clox@lemmy.world to Asklemmy@lemmy.ml – 170 points –

I've actually skipped work just to help a homeless guy get his beard trimmed. Bought him pizza too. Kinda hard to get anywhere in life when you look like shit.

Be kind to the homeless, they just need a helping hand here and there.

What would you do?

150

Hell no.

Are you u all living in rosy mc Rosewood Santa's little safe harbour everything is fine and dandy rainbow world? Or are you all lying through your teeth?

Letting someone in your home with clearly visible psychological issues, in your circle of trust, filled with those you hold most dearly and packed with your dearest memories, that place... And then letting someone in you know nothing about?

Hell fucking no.

In the real world letting some rando homeless dude in your home has a 50/50 chance of ending up in crazy town. There is a high probability that you, yours or your stuff get fucked up. I cannot and will not accept those odds. Even a 2% chance of shit happening is a risk I'm unwilling to take when it comes to my kids.

Would I help him? Maybe. It depends on some factors (like can I at that specific time, did I help him out earlier, do I have cash on hand) Would I let him in? No f-ing way.

So real answer: money: maybe, eat & drink: anytime. Clothes: I've got some you can have, no problem. Bath and clean: nope. Never.

This is my thought as well. Even if things go well this time, who’s to say they will not feel entitled to come back. Maybe with or without your knowledge.

I’d send them away otherwise I might start getting a regular visitor to my house asking for stuff.

In public, I’m happy to give money or food.

While I do agree with you. Your wording could be a little bit better. You seem like a glass half empty kind of person, and I can respect that. However your statement makes it seem like all homeless people have some kind of dangerous psychological issues, and that is a wild accusation. Mental health problems come in all shapes and sizes

As someone with diagnosed mental health issues, I can tell you that I mean no harm. But sadly, the pure difference in perception paired with unfamiliarity of the two parties makes the situation insanely dangerous, not the person.

You never know why the person is in this predicament and if they have a tendency towards violence, robbery or other things. I‘m not saying they are. I‘m saying you have to assume they are before making that decision. Can you defend yourself against a pulled knife or even gun, do you have enough mental capacity to observe them at all times. Those odds do not look good.

So, although I would never willingly look down on folks less fortunate than myself. I too will never ever let a stranger into my house if they raise any concerns.

Very better wording. Sorry if I was seeming like a dick. I've always had the view that people generally mean no harm, but might have articulated it in the wrong way. I'm definitely trying to work on that with myself as well. I also have mental health issues, and I was homeless for a good 2 years of my life, and would have been longer if a person didn't invite a scruffy person into their home and show them goodness and ask for nothing in return.

After I typed that, I had to think about it for a bit. I was probably one of the few lucky ones. I've had the experience working in movie theaters, and I've encountered many homeless and have had good and bad experiences. The bad is more memorable (which probably says more about human nature rather than social conception at this point), but had many great experiences with homeless people. I have stories, but I'll save them for the sake of typing a shit ton lol.

TL;DR: I like the cut of your jib, you seem very intelligent, and have good points. However, I still believe the whole argument comes down to pessimis vs optimism. I'm a very long winded person, so tldr are hard for me

"if they raise any concerns"

Yes indeed, those words sum it up pretty well. Everybody is different. Every situation is different.

Everyone deserves a chance though, with caution of course...

However your statement makes it seem like all homeless people have some kind of dangerous psychological issues, and that is a wild accusation.

He never said anything like this, and specifically called out pretty low probabilities throughout his comment.

Thank you for your opinion, every individual is different. Homeless does not inherently equate to psychological issues nor drug addiction.

Sometimes people just had their house destroyed from a hurricane or tornado or whatever, and insurance done fucked them over, if they even had proper insurance in the first place.

Sorry you're getting downvoted, but you got my upvote. Thank you for having enough of a mind and soul to care. 🤗👍

I wouldn't let him in, because my partner has very strong feelings about anyone in the house, but if he doesn't mind waiting outside he's getting a lot more than a sandwich and water. A full meal is a very rare thing on the street and some bread and Ham isn't a meal. I always have left overs or prepped meals ready and he's eating until he's full. Water is the same, as much as he can stomach.

I'm no barber, but I can trim my own beard so I'm sure I can manage his. If the stars align, I have a real stylist down the street and I'd happy to ask if she has time for a clean and cut.

Most importantly, I've got contact info for shelters and food banks. When if I can't do anything else I can help find someone who can.

Honestly, I didn't let the fella in either. But I did bring my hair clippers out on the back porch, and made a point to trim both his beard and his head down short.

I'm not a barber either, but hell, there's a huge difference between looking scraggly versus looking somewhat tidy. I did my best with the clippers, and the fella was very happy with it.

Then I went and bought us some pizza and a couple of beers. Why beer? Because I'm generous sometimes, plus beer is cheaper than water in my area.

The food and water part, no problem. Strangers in my apartment is a hard no! Sorry.

Fix him a sandwich, get him some water, and tell him I don't let strangers in my house.

I've done just that, twice in the twenty odd years I've owned it. Before that, my dad owned it and had different rules about who had access to resources, so I would have followed his, if it had arisen.

But! I would offer to bring my spare trimmer and hook him up on the porch, or a shave if he wanted. That used to be part of my job, and I miss the hell out of personal care. I'd also offer to let him use a mirror instead though.

I'm hard core about no strangers in the house, period, ever. Don't care why they want in, don't care who they are, if I haven't said it's okay, nobody comes in. Hell, there's people we know that aren't allowed in. I've got one cousin in particular that will get his ass beat again if he shows up. But someone we don't know, that I haven't vetted? Hellll no.

Shit, I'd rent a motel room for a homeless person before I'd let the cleanest, best dressed stranger in my house, and I'm on a fixed income.

But, I'm actually known to be a soft touch for food and beverage. It's a thing. If I know you well enough to let you in, you will never go hungry at my house. If I don't know you well enough to invite you in, I still won't let you go hungry or thirsty, but I'll ask you to move along with the supplies. I'd have to have my family be starving before I'd refuse basic food and water to someone.

I'm curious what you mean by fixed income.

Do you mean a non hourly salary? Is that is what you mean, why does it matter?

Fixed income is a general term for someone that can't change their income because it is provided by a social safely net. In my case, that's the US disability system, SSDI in specific. You get a monthly income and that's that. There is some wiggle room for other income, but if most of the people on SSDI could do enough work for that, they wouldn't qualify for SSDI in the first place.

But it also refers to retired people on social security, and sometimes even people that get income from a pension.

In other words, the amount you get is not only "fixed", there isn't a way to increase it reliably.

There in the US, even the maximum SSDI amount you can get is below the poverty line. We're lucky in that there are three adults on various SS programs, so we do have a little disposable income at the end of the month, but we're talking maybe twenty or thirty bucks.

Thanks for explaining.

I always thought it exclusively meant that someone had retired and were on pension but I doubt there are many if any that old on Lemmy.

The term doesn't really exist where I live. Or at least as far as I know.

Yeah, lemmy skews towards middle aged and lower for sure lol

But, no worries, you asked a genuine question, politely :)

I'd help them then immediately go online and beg for praise.

I don't know if this is supposed to be sarcasm or not.

Keep in mind, not everyone knows how to use the internet or even has access to it.

I would offer to buy them a meal and pay for a low-cost motel room. I'd even be willing to buy them some toiletries to get cleaned up. I would not invite them into my home under any conditions.

I don't even like opening the door to people I know.

I'd give him a snack if he was desperate enough to come to my door. Wouldn't let him inside but might come out to chat with him. Just to be sure they are well enough to carry on. Like, I didn't have to call for medical assistance or something.

It's easy to say no when you've never been in that situation. I mean I've never been so out of it I'd beg a stranger to groom me but I have been completely on my own with nothing and no one.

Any homeless person with good intent would know that cold knocking someone and asking to come inside is a bridge too far. So if they were trying that shit they would most likely be competely toasted or having a serious mental episode. Even more likely they are trying to steal your shit.

I have had a homeless man come up to the door in an icestorm with no shirt on. The guy was soaked in alcohol and I did not feel safe. I did throw him a sweater, coat, and gloves because he could freeze but I was fucking terrified.

In my case, the 'stranger' wasn't exactly a stranger anymore. Even though I had my own place to live with my family, I'd get tired of the home drama and I'd go ride my bicycle out to wherever my feet decided to pedal that night.

There were two particular homeless fellas that I'd sometimes stop and shoot the shit with for a couple hours or so. Sometimes they'd even buy me a beer, just to have a friend to talk to.

I never forgot their generosity. Never. I helped the older fella with a beard trim, some pizza, and a beer in return.

The younger fella had been an album producer in the past, so I found him a fancy green suit about his size. Dunno if he kept it, but last I heard he actually got him a place in the next city over.

Thank you on their behalf for at least trying to help keep them warm during hard freezing times.

IMHO: Always help out the working-class people if you can; the homeless and'middle class' are the working-class.

You don't have to let them in your home or do too much, but I would offer them a box with food, plenty of water, and a basic care package.

We all need to make time to join in helping our local communities. 1 hour a year is much more helpful than 0 hours a year.

Mantra:

“We should focus our actions, time, and resources on Direct Action, Mutual Aid, and Community Outreach… No War but Class War!”

"absolutely fucking not, and never come here again"

Sorry, but I'll help people when I want to, on my own terms. Before you pile on, I literally just housed somebody for over a month, in the shitty one bedroom flat I rent. As in, they stayed on the sofa and only left on Tuesday. I also provided 90% of their food and gave them money to cover an outgoing debt payment.

It was a fucking huge inconvenience, actually. A helping hand is fine, but some people will happily take your whole arm.

Your last sentence strikes a hard truth, but I totally get you. Yeah, I ain't suggesting anyone outright adopt a homeless person and wipe their ass every day and all, just saying that sometimes, depending on the circumstances and the individual, that it's only proper to help for a day or three, within your means anyways.

If I had time, I'd maybe tell the dude to wait outside, then get my loafers, walk with him to the shop and buy a meal. Strangers in my house? No thank you. Good way to get robbed in my neighborhood.

There are free showers and halfway houses around here, so getting shower wouldn't be a reason to knock on the door, I think.

Optimally, we should be housing everybody as its been proven time and time again how much cheaper it is than leaving people homeless. It's what I vote for every time, but somehow people are just too selfish.

My experience with homeless people on my porch has usually been them stealing from it or shitting on it. So I'd be rather shocked if they just asked for something normal.

I wouldn't oblige the bath, but I could help them with some food and water.

There is a difference between a homeless person and a thief. It's a bad stereotype to consider all homeless people as thieves.

In my experiences in life, thieves almost always have a home. I mean, where is a homeless person gonna store your television?

They're not the same.

They steal our patio furniture, and then I see it in the camps down the road. We've had to start locking it up with chains. In this case they are both homeless and thieves.

Sadly, sometimes they can be thieves, but that doesn't seem to be the usual case when I've met homeless people.

Then again, maybe it's because my instincts tell me who to avoid from a quarter mile away. You know, like that dude behind the Burger King dumpster with a face full of tattoos.. Yeah, probably best to avoid...

It's true that not everyone fits stereotypes, but be realistic. The vast majority of homeless people are drug addicts, alcoholics, or both. Addicts with no legal source of income are going to steal.

I don't hate homeless people at all, and I legitimately have sympathy for someone who fell on hard times and is trying to get their life together; I do hate addicts who are willing to take advantage of hard-working people. The venn diagram between homeless and addicts is very close to being a circle.

Yeah, it bothers me when young, naive people on the internet don't get this. Homelessness is often a lot more than just not having enough money. Often (but not always), it involves deep psychological issues. One of the reasons why the homeless issue is difficult to solve is because you can't just throw money at them or even just give them a house and expect for everything to be fixed. They need psychological help, and often help with addiction, in addition to the money. I feel for these people, but it is absolutely not the simple issue people like to make it out to be.

Personally, I don't even answer the door for strangers unless I'm expecting someone.

Want a little plot twist? Everyone is addicted to something or another. Why is caffeine legal, but cocaine illegal? People piss money away at Starbucks while dissing the homeless.

There's a slight but significant difference between being addicted to Starbucks and crack.

There's also the fact that instead of buying a $20 cup of coffee, you can get a $2 or so cup of coffee at most any old random gas station, and still have money left to buy 2 or 3 burgers to feed a couple homeless people instead.

I don't want to buy 2 or 3 burgers to feed homeless people. I mentioned this in another comment, but the group of people who are homeless and the group of people who are addicted to meth, heroin, whatever are largely the same group, maybe with a few outliers. Why the hell would I want to buy lunch for someone who's going to go out and rob or harass someone for $20 so they can go buy a bag of their drug of choice?

People like myself (and others in this comment section) don't hate the homeless. We hate drug addicts who shit all over society (sometimes literally) in order to get their next fix.

Here's an experiment you can try: The next time you see a homeless person begging for money so they can buy some food, refuse to give them money and offer to buy them food instead. They're probably going to call you a piece of shit and if you're lucky, they might leave you alone after that, but probably not.

People need to have sympathy for the homeless, but not for addicts. We should have social programs to house the homeless, as long as they can pass a drug test. Food banks, work-placement programs, they should all exist and be taxpayer funded, as long as those using them can pass a drug test.

I've already done exactly this with an ex girlfriend. Wonder why she's an ex..

Depends if I know them. There's been a permanent camp around the corner from my house the last five years. My wife and I know a lot of the long-term residents and have helped them do laundry, charge phones, and file taxes. But a stranger? I'd direct them towards other local resources.

File taxes? I admit I'm fairly ignorant of the plights of any unhoused person ... And any complex tax situation, TBH ... but it seems like most of them would be under the income threshold that would require filing of taxes.

edit: s/and/any/

Homeless does not necessarily mean jobless. You still have to file taxes if you want a tax return. It's a lot cheaper to live out of a car and have a PO box than it is to get an apartment.

Fair enough, I hadn't considered homelessness by choice.

I know homeless people can and sometimes do have jobs, but assumed their income would be insufficient to require interacting with the IRS. Thank you for expanding my perception.

You remember a few years back when stimulus cheques were being sent out? They were only being sent to those who filed taxes.

Several years ago, my mom started making care for folks out on the street. Some water, a bag of chips, a piece of candy. Little things like that. I started doing the same thing. It's good to help those down on their luck in small ways. Even to to look at them and say "no, I'm sorry" when they ask for money, rather than to just ignore them. You are acknowledging them as a person. If we wish to make a better society, actions speak louder than words.

I also prefer the term 'de-housed' to 'homeless'. I feel the latter places blame on them rather than the former which places blame on the society which has failed them.

I remember a skit by the late George Carlin where he suggested that instead of calling them homeless, that we should call them houseless instead, so yeah I get what you mean there.

Plow the golf courses and cemeteries! Give these folks a place to live!

Ah, I see you're a fan of the late George Carlin as well.. 👍

This is the first time I'm hearing plow cemeteries, and I'm not sure I'm on board with that. People usually spend time there to deal with grief and losing a little bit more of a dead loved one would be incredibly painful for a lot of folks

Fuck golf courses though

It's a joke from George Carlin. I wouldn't advocate for plowing old ones (although dead stuff makes fertile soil). Personally, I wouldn't make new ones, but perhaps a middle ground is to make mausoleums wbere people can be burried vertically.

Fair, never heard that one, but I can agree with not making new ones

I think homeless is more fitting. at least to me, it's a more emotional/painful word, which is a good thing. being homeless sounds a lot shittier than being dehoused to me.

That's an interesting point, provided it motivates people to do something about it, rather than assigning a moral failing to the individual. I.e. they deserve it for their sins. In my mind, dehoused elucidates the lack of a basic human need: shelter. There is a solution, especially in the face of the greed of rent seeking.

Sandwich, bottle of water, directions off the property.

You mean directions towards the nearest shelters? It's easy to tell someone to go away, but does it hurt you to try to help them locate proper shelter, instead of just tell them to go away?

I got kids, I’ll get you a sandwich and water while you wait outside but I don’t know them just like I don’t know any other stranger that showed up unannounced, that I would also not let in. If it was just me I have a higher risk tolerance, it’s going to be pretty close to zero when I have others who are dependent on me under my care. Sorry, not sorry.

Let's say we're in Arizona right now, hypothetical..

Let's say it's 120⁰F outside. You gonna leave the fella outside, only to die on your porch of heat stroke?

Edit: Ain't that cute, I see I've been downvoted. Welp, if such a hypothetical situation happens, and someone dies on your porch in the heat, then you'd basically be guilty of negligent homicide since you could have helped, but refused to.

I'm not exactly a fan of having people die on my porch.

Don't know where you're at, but where I am, I have no legal obligation to help anyone trespassing on my property. That said, I would call the cops, so they can help him. While they may not be great at this, it's their job (not mine), and I'm not risking my life. Maybe he's honest in his needs. Maybe he's not, and his intentions are nefarious. Do you know? I don't, and I'm not willing to risk my life finding out.

A person knocking on your door and asking for help shouldn't be outright considered as a trespasser, especially if all they're asking is help. Of course you can't trust just anyone, but still, if someone showed up and knocked on my door, sweating their ass off in the scorching heat of the summer and asking for help, I ain't about to leave them out in the heat..

That's fine. If your risk posture allows you to do that, then great. Mine doesn't. I will give them as much water as they need, food if they need, even a change of clothes and a coolrag. They can chill in my yard under the shade of whatever trees they want. They can use my hose to cool off, wash, whatever. But, they're not coming in my home. [and they need to leave before that evening's up].

E: correct autocorrect

E2: this is a coolrag

E3 in []

No I mean gtfo and deal with your own shit.

Hey, I ain't mad, at least you said you'd help with the bare basics of a little food and water.

But what if it's 120⁰F outside? What if they're about to suffer a heat stroke on your porch?

Are you seriously asking if I react differently in different situations?

What if you were the person suffering in the heat? Should I open my door for you? Because if I could tell you were genuinely in need of help, I would..

I subscribe to a policy of cautious altruism, like a lot of folks already said. I need to keep myself and my family safe so probably not allow in the house, but I'd give food water, the hose, soap, shampoo, clean towel, and a change of clothes if I can. Maybe even some cash if I have it around to spare.

If I have a shed or garage I'd allow them to use it to change clothes privately and offer to wash their clothes if safe. They may have residue of drugs like meth on their clothes that I'm unable handle.

I've also got a decent amount of privilege to share.

Be kind, be safe

Also, for anyone reading through this thinking, "I shouldn't give them money because drugs"

I use drugs to cope with chronic pain so I can get through a workday

I'm skilled labor and make a decent salary

The only things separating me from a homeless person were some "fortunate" family deaths providing enough inheritance to put me through college at a good time and some lucky networking

We should all be more humble and less judgemental of eachother's choices

"I shouldn't give them money because drugs"

I have a roof over my head, eat thrice a day, and have a loving family. Yet there are days when I want to drown myself in alcohol or weed. Who am I to judge a homeless person if they choose to do drugs and forget their suffering for a little while?

I always give money, if anything, to the few of them in my neighborhood. Whether it's food , clothes, drugs or something else - they know what they need better than I know it.

I'm not exactly sure how to interpret all this, except I think you have a decent trustworthy soul, and care about others.

Yeah, I try to every day

Some days are harder than others, I ain't perfect, I've caused probably as much harm as good, but I try my best

Be kind, be safe, and love thy fellow person. 👍

I've quite a few friends I've personally pulled out of homelessness, so I've seen how hard it is firsthand, I hope things are better for you

Things actually are better for me these days. Not great, but much better. I'm living in a decent affordable apartment now, rather than the old run down trailer park I came from.

Thank you for your kind words. 👍

I've had people occasionally help me along the way, and at my discretion, I'm glad to help others in return when possible. Pass it forward...

I wouldn't feel safe letting a stranger in to shower. My wife would be very upset with me.

They could have a bottle of water and a sandwich.

I'd offer them the hose and privacy of the backyard at least. They could even use the warm collected rainwater if they wanted, I just would also get in trouble with my housemates if I did that.

Totally understandable, every situation is different. But what if you made a compromise, especially given the hotter than average weather lately, and gave the person a splash of shampoo and let him/her wash their hair with your garden hose in the back yard or something?

Had a dude come around in my neighborhood a few times. It was the middle of the summer and it can get above 100 where I live. Gave him pbj and some water because if was all I had at the time. He only asked for food and water. Haven't seen him in a year now though.

I hope the fella is doing okay these days. Thank you on his/her behalf for helping them in a brief time of need. Even if that's all you could do, at least it's something.

People like you help me restore a few points in faith in humanity. 👍

My mind initially skipped the p in pbj and it altered the story significantly

I have a lot of unhoused neighbors so I regularly leave out fresh socks, a pair of gloves here and there, basic toiletries, and food for their pets. If one came to my door I'd be happy to try giving a haircut, but no refunds.

My brother was homeless from addiction.

I'd give food and water; if they wanted to wash up I have a hose and would bring them soap and shampoo. Unfortunately, I've been burned with shit disappearing from when my brother was addicted, so I probably wouldn't let them in the house.

I can certainly give them food and water, but sorry I’m not trusting enough to let a stranger in my house.

I never said I let him in the house, I trimmed him up on the back porch.

Dude was old and all his belongings were in a single backpack, pretty sure that even if I had let him inside, he wouldn't have stolen anything.

Like seriously, where's he even gonna put stuff? Homeless people don't tend to have much space for extra stuff..

Good for you to help someone, genuinely. It's a little weird you asked a question and then once people answer you try to debate them.

Some homeless people steal. Not saying as a group they all do, but I don't know which category this stranger falls in. Once inside my house they know the layout and perhaps see things that would be of interest to come back later to steal. Of more concern is I don't know the mental health of this individual, and I'm less concerned about theft than my family's safety.

as someone who was homeless I'd let them in to take a shower and trim themselves up. If they're an addict or mentally ill then no, i'd direct them somewehre else. I've had way too many bad interactions with both, especially addicts. If it was a homeless person who was sober and mentally sound? yeah i'd provide help because I know that programs and resources don't exist for them they're tailored for the addicts and mentally ill. Hell i'd even offer my couch. But addicts know the system and they're only going to your door to rip you off. and the mentally ill don't even know they're homeless so they wouldn't be knocking and asking for help anyways.

Honestly it's a bad idea. Might be fine, might not be. Not worth the risk. Some unhoused folks are addicts or mentally ill. People tend to return to places that become familiar. The might come back again. Maybe to rob you.

I'm speaking from experience. I gave a guy a place to live to try to get back on his feet, in exchange for some work. Realized he's a severe addict and couldn't get rid of him. Then I look like the asshole for putting him back on the street.

Given how I don't let anybody homeless or otherwise in my house if I don't know them, I'll probably give them food and water

Homeless or rich it doesn't matter I just don't trust people anymore. With that said though I will happily help guide them to resources and donate to shelters fairly often. I have some bad history with strangers so even though I've tried working through it there doesn't seem to be much change.

You doing what you did is awesome and I bet really helped that guy with more than just a shave.

What would you do?

Sandwich? Nah. We grillin'.

Haha, I actually trimmed dude's hair and beard on my back porch, then we rode our bicycles and I bought us a pizza and a couple beers.

This has happened on a few occasions, I’ve always fed and bathed the person, on a few occasions,I’ve let the person stay with me for a little while, and once I dated a guy for a little while.

This has ended with mostly positive results. And these people didn’t really come knock on my door (we usually met out-and-about).

There are some cultural differences here that affects the equation. If homelessness is taken care of that doesn't mean there are no people on the streets. There will however be a a certain "enrichment" in what type of people are there.

Our constitution demands that everyone must have a life worth human dignity. If somebody looses everything, gouvernment provides housing and funds for minimum standards of living.

So for that reason, only ones that are on the streets are the ones who can't/won't take care of themselves, even if these things are given to then, but are not so far gone they could be institutionalized. Everyone is still free to get hammered and be on the streets.

Very often these people have long history on substance abuse and have degraded to a level of a child. Police often picks them up, so they can be washed, because they often soil themselves. They are not dangerous, because then they would be institutionalized, but they are very smelly and often vocally abusive.

Would I open my door to these people? No.

I would give then food and water if needed, but these are not things they ask for.

We bring food sometimes to the local homeless guy but he doesn't seem to want anything else.

This answer for me would really depend on a lot of factors. I don't want a homeless roommate who won't leave and can't work, don't want a mentally unstable person in the house with my daughters. So random guy probably not. I'd bring him food and a gallon of iced water and say I could not let him in. If it was the guy we know from under the bridge, and husband home, probably would let him shower and give him some of husband's clothes to wear, sure.

But we HAVE had homeless people stay with us for a time if we knew them, quite a few times. Wandering guys who just didn't live anywhere. Couch surfing people.

I've been 'homeless' after my father passed away 10 years ago, after paying 6 years of his land taxes. I've lost roughly 95% of everything I've ever owned, after paying 6 years of land taxes and bills.

I've been through some shit, so I have a kind heart towards others suffering the struggle...

I have lived on the streets too. I just don't feel like I can possibly help everyone, if that makes sense. And would question the motive of someone I don't know trying to get into my house.

It's a very complicated problem. Some people are homeless from simple poverty and can climb out with some help, but we know these guys (it was always guys) who just don't fit into society and can't have a regular job or hustle enough to have stuff, but can get by without much, there doesn't seem to be room in this country (USA) for them anymore. Like they have been illegal -ized.

Agreed and understood. It's not possible to help everyone every time. Some days I struggle to help myself, but it is whatever it is.

But if I happen to find it within my means, I might help another person in struggle..

All of those things can be done outside of my house, so I don't really see any reason why not to. Beard trim, blam, here's a razor, sandwich, here's that shit, here's a bottle of water, the hose is over there, here's some soap, blam. Even if I'm cooking up the most diabolical and insane homeless person of all time, I can still fulfill all of those requests while also keeping them outside, doing very little, and maybe telling them to also fuck off after if I'm a psycho.

The rest of this is gonna mostly be venting, so you can safely ignore it if you don't care.

People in america are totally cooked on homelessness, even though they're, on average, metaphorically inches away from it at any given time. Homeless shelters in america mostly are horrible places to go where your shit will be stolen and they will do nothing. They're bad for children, they're full of drugs, and very frequently they have curfews, rules against having animals or pets, rules requiring that you go to religious ceremonies, etc. Homeless people aren't just like, insane illogical transients. I mean they kind of are, but there's also a reason for why they do the things that they do, that includes maybe knocking on the door of a random suburb.

I would actually find it more likely in this situation that this random person would probably want to use my toilet since there are no fucking public toilets in america, especially as private businesses will deny use of their restrooms to people who look homeless. Then people get arrested for public defecation, urination, or nudity because there's nowhere else to go, obviously there's also mental health, and then all you see is how some guy on the street on fent gets arrested with his pants around his ankles and his asscheeks covered in shit and you think "wow that guy's crazy" and have no further thoughts. Context is eradicated.

Give someone in america the slightest advantage over the homeless, a shitty suburban flat, with a lower rent, that they spend two thirds or more of their income on, including roommates, and they will still somehow find a way to spit on the homeless after riding the bus into town every day cause they can't afford a car. They will still live their lives in fear and they will still come to hate the homeless because somehow the person basically making negative income is not able to afford soap or a high-fiber diet.

It's the "Oh, well, it's not my problem, that sucks for them, but I'm still allowed to be offended by it." sort of mentality. You can give them every reason under the sun why hating the homeless doesn't make any sense, why hating the homeless is immoral, why they don't deserve it, how they are products of their environment. Still people will desperately cling to it. It makes me understand how racism occurs, I suppose, because it's the same phenomena. "Ah, well, I understand all of the stats about racism, but this particular member of this particular racial minority, I still hate them personally for acting in line with the statistical average of their group.". Insanity. It's as though it's all just abstract thought goop that has no bearing on anyone's life, or that somehow I should be the exception to it.

I think it's gotta be a functional adaptation, or something. Maybe they can prevent themselves from going insane and becoming nihilists if they just suddenly become individualists and objectivists as soon as it becomes convenient, or something. It is not that hard to conceive of a reality in which the person cutting you off in traffic is rushing to the hospital, or, a reality in which they, maybe naively but understandably want to enjoy their expensive car while they still can, or, maybe a reality in which they're just panicking because they're late to work or something.

I am an introvert, I am awkward, I hate hanging around people and talking to people. Even I can talk to the homeless when they need someone to talk to, and reluctantly give them money, and rides to places when they ask, since it would otherwise be like two hours and twelve dollars of travel, bus stops, a transfer station, travel, more bus stops, before they get across town to do a fairly basic errand. The social fabric is falling apart. Please be nice, it is not that hard, it costs very little, it happens infrequently, and very possibly if some of you extroverted assholes picked up some slack instead of making things harder for the most maligned, I could go back to my cave.

This is an interesting and deep insight, thank you for posting your thoughts! 👍

I'm not a hairdresser and wouldn't have confidence trimming a guy's beard. Other than that, I'd let him in, get to know him a little, maybe give him a salad with water, and yeah the shower would be on the house, you think I'd charge for a scent cleanse using Earth's most abundant resource? I just hope he brought clothes, unless he doesn't mind wearing women's clothes.

Meh, I just put the 3/8" guard on the clippers and simply trimmed him down. Easy enough when you're not going for any style at all except short hair.

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Had something similar in 2020 happen. Things happened and it ended with him and my mom getting into a heated argument as to why he can't get help from police or some other resources (which I can't remember). Ended with my mom pretty much telling the guy not to return.

He played the part of a nice person, but in the end he was trouble. So I think my answer to this would probably be not to trust them.

Oh, indeed, never fully trust any stranger. But do be willing to give people a helping hand, and sometimes a cautious chance.

I've even met a homeless woman that took care of my friend's car when he fucked up and got arrested LOL! No joke, this woman was legit. She didn't exactly know where to take the car, and it took us like 2 days to find her, while my buddy was still locked up, but she never left town and we found her at the local McDonald's.

She was quite honest and decent about it too, apparently my buddy told her to take it, so it wouldn't get impounded. So, even though she was homeless and all, she still had honor and decency. And yes, we returned his car back where he was staying.

We still see the lady around here and there, seems she bounces from place to place and occasionally finds work. She might be homeless from time to time, but she's genuinely honest and does what she can.

TBH I wouldn't open the door for safety reasons. Now if they had approached me on the street and there were shops nearby, yes I would help.

I am skeptical on letting my friends in my house. I am not going let a random person with high odds of having some sort of physical/mental issue in my house no thank you.

Will I help? Absolutely. Just in anywhere that isn't my house.

I'd wash his clothes, too.

I actually would have offered that as well, but honestly I was staying at my mother's house at the time, so using the indoor facilities was kinda out of the question.

But the hair clippers were mine, so I just ran an extension cord out the back door to trim him up, and then we went and I bought us both some pizza.

I did what I could, always thinking like what if I was in their situation?

You seem to have "but what if" responses for every answer.

My answer is no because I don't trust them. Same reason I keep my little dog away from all pit bulls, I don't trust them. Same reason I accept some women want to keep distance with all men, lack of trust.

There's water in the bubbler at my local park.

Yes, of course I intended on my post to be interpreted hypothetically. Every situation is different, and every person is different.

I usually buy a meal for a homeless drug addict who sometimes it's asking for some coins in a near mall, I don't like to give him money straight cos I know he will buy drugs with it, I prefer to buy him something to eat.

Where I am there is not so much homeless people there is just poor people who asks for coins so no beard issue but I definitely like to give them something to eat instead of money for drugs.

Agreed, if you already know the person has bad habits, then definitely don't support those habits.

But hey, occasional help with the basics never hurts. Everyone needs food and water occasionally at bare minimum, plus many people forget they also need occasional help with hygiene.

It's not like they want to be dirty, they just don't tend to have regular access to facilities to bathe, shave, or wash their clothes..

But yeah, I ain't about to just hand them money. If I'm gonna help, I'm gonna help. I can't do much, but I do what I can when I feel I should.

Wow you're a woke globalist. /S

Everyone should really check this piece of shits post history

Get in my car with him to bring him to get those things.

I suck at keeping a home ready for such an encounter.

Give him food and water. I guess I can try trim his beard with scissors if he wants. And I would try to facilitate the bath. I know people don't want to let random homeless people into their houses because they're worried about theft, but it is so hard to get a shower or bath if you're street homeless, and besides, if he steals something from me, clearly he needs it a lot more than me. I don't have anything too valuable in my bathroom anyway so if he wants to nick some toothpaste let him.

Can't hear knocking on the door from the living room and my doorbell is disabled most of the time. So unless people notfify me of their visit there is a good chance I just won't open the door at all.

Also there is a big construction site in front of my house right now, so I'm wearing noise canceling headphone most of the time. And with those I hardly even hear the doorbell when it's on.

I don't hold any answers but if you're reading this comment, I want to know how you take into consideration that if they are asking for money, that money can easily be used for drugs/opioids/other stuff which will hurt them.

i.e., Do you give them money or do you give them food, a bottle of water or stuff like that?

Just don't judge what they use money for. It's not your place to police someone's habits. Addiction is very hard.

A couple years ago some guy at the gas station gave me this long ass spiel about how he wasn't on drugs (like the whole time it took to fill my tank up he was going on about it) and then asked me for gas money. I was like buddy here's $20 but if you're spending this on drugs get some for me too.

A beard trim... yeah, I'm too unexperienced to help him with that, but I'll give him a shaver and a cream...

Bath... I'd just hope there's a public shower nearby, and lend him merely some small bottles of soap and shampoo...

A sandwich and water... let's see what food I have...

I'm not opening my door tho, to him

I'd give him food/water, cash, call him a ride, or whatever else he needed but he's not coming inside. Too much risk. Even just giving stuff I'd worry he'll come back.

I would never answer the door for someone I didn’t expect so I wouldn’t know why they were at my door anyway.

First I'd wonder how they got through my security gate. I would not let them in. I'm a 5'3" middle-aged woman and I know my limitations, I'm not as young and strong as I used to be. I would talk to them through the door and not open it. If they said they wanted food and water, I might give them something but I would tell them to back up far away from the door before I put anything out there for them. Once they took it, I would ask them to leave.

We live in Canada in a very rural area. We've opened our door to strangers. Gave people a place to sleep and a hot meal, even let them live with us for a time to get their feet under themselves. I'd hope someone would do the same for my family if they needed it.

Side note: one of these folks is actually here today having supper with us and hanging with the kiddos. She's got a job and a house now and going back to school in September. Two years ago we let her set her tent up here and use the washroom for a few weeks.

I'd close the door on him then call the police. Y'all can virtue signal all you want but these homeless people can have mental illnesses and be dangerous.

It's one thing to ask him to leave and close the door. But call the police? You need to touch some fucking grass. If anything you'd deserve a charge of filling a false police report for calling the cops because a guy asked you for a sandwich.

At least you aren't afraid to tell everyone what a miserable snitch you are. Anyone I knew IRL said something this deranged and they'd be on the class traitor list for life.

The police can be mental and dangerous themselves, what's ya point?

Yeah, this one is over the top.

My late father would employ homeless people to rebuild wrecked motor homes. And amazingly enough, this tactic tended to work fairly well.

They weren't allowed inside our house, except certain hours of the day in the evening. They were even welcome to drink some beer with us and shoot the shit during the later evening hours, just as long as they kept up work on the wrecked motorhome, which is where they slept.

I think they lived there while repairing it for like 6 months, and they were generally honest and legit. Never once stole a thing, they were just glad to have a place to stay during that time.

I'm not in danger. And sometimes cities like mine have special homeless units that aren't cops.

I'm trying to imagine, as someone who also lives in Seattle, how fucking terrified you must be if you feel compelled to call the cops on every homeless person you see.

They know your by name down at the station don't they, lmao.

ACAB includes the weirdo neighborhood watch guy.

Warn them that they are trespassing, call the cops, and then wait hours for one to arrive and either remove the filth or shoot it since it would take a high level of mental illness and/or nefarious motives to approach a strangers home and demand shit.

Woah dude. I'm with everyone else saying they're not letting a stranger in their house. Calling them filth and talking about shooting them is psycho shit

He's a psycho, I've already tagged him as such.