When my grandmother met my now wife, who is from Alabama, my grandmother told her “well, we all have to be from somewhere”
As someone who's family is from Alabama, I hard agree with your grandma. Where was she from? And can I steal her line?
My grandma was from the Midwest, mostly South Dakota. My grandma was very sweet and so it really cracked us up when she said that.
That to me sounds like a very northern state phrase. I can absolutely hear my grandma saying that (not saying you/they are, just made me smile thinking of that)
“Better an empty house, than a bad tenant” after every loud fart.
i use a very similar one, in german we say: everything that doesn't pay rent gets thrown out
"You don't have to shovel rain." - My grandfather when asked why he moved the family from Wisconsin to Oregon.
Now, that's wisdom I can get behind! 🤙🏼 (raised out yonder in the mitten, now happily left coast rooted)
"How are you ever gonna keep a job if you can't keep juice in a cup?!"
I was 9 years old
Brutal 🤣🤌🏼
My grandmother used to say: if you expect your good deed to be reciprocated, you’re not actually doing a good deed.
She said it in dutch, so I hope it’s an decent translation.
I've heard this one put similarly: "If you're looking for something in return, even your good deeds are an extension of your selfishness."
My grandma would say "he can put his boots at the foot of my bed." My grandma had the hots for lots of younger country singers.
My mom used to say Robert Redford could park his shoes under her bed anytime.
From my grandmother: "Essen! Essen!" (Eat! Eat!) Followed quickly by "You need to lose weight! You're getting fat!"
Do we have the same grandma.
I don't know about 'iconic' but I once heard my grandpa say "I'd eat 5 feet of her shit just to see where it came from." and that mental scar will probably stay with me the rest of my life.
Me too..
Is this a military thing? One of the characters in Generation Kill says this in the first episode.
Possibly? I think he might of been in the military but I've never heard him talk about it.
From my mom, not my grandparents, but we've gotten a lot of mileage out of this one
"If I find it, can I hit you with it?"
Used when we were bugging her about not being able to find something. Don't believe she ever made good on that threat, but it usually did it's intended purpose of getting us to quit bugging her and find it ourselves. And if it was something we really needed help finding it would have been an acceptable trade-off.
My sister got a lot of use out of it with her college roommates and my wife and I use it with each other pretty regularly.
My grandpa had a million one liners, most were somewhat inappropriate but here's a fun one. He'd say, "Did anyone get hurt in that wreck?" To any of my friends that drove over. When they inevitably asked "what wreck?" He'd say, "the one you pulled up in." This was devastating to the ones who were super proud of their cars. Lol
‘Whits fur ye will no’ go past ye’ - what’s for you will not go past you
My wee Scottish granny had some real wisdom.
‘No point in worrying about somethin cos if it happens ye suffer twice!’
My parents used these hahhaa. And the classic for when you've had enough of someone "go get in the sea"
After reading this comment, I was going to ask what "get tae fook" meant, but then I clocked your username and now I'm not sure that's so wise.
Hahaha. Yeah. That means basically fuck off, get fucked.
When he was talking about turning 100: "I can't see, and I can't hear, but I can still eat so I'm not going to die."
He did indeed make it to 100.
Friend's grandfather used to say...
The hurrier I go the behinder I get.
I love this, I'm gonna have to start using it when everyone is rushing and making silly mistakes at work
My grandmother: “You can get glad in the same pants that you got mad in.”
Also, when you’re hurt: “it’ll feel better when it quits hurting.”
My mom too on the pants. 🙂
"Who just shit my pants?"
When he wanted to remind us to turn off lights, he'd yell "save electrodes!"
When he was splitting wood with the "kabunger" (splitting maul) he'd yell "katabuungie!" When he swung.
When he'd drop wood on his toe he'd yell "GOTDAMMITSONOFABITCHGRAAH"
My grandmother said, "The time for tarts are when they're passing." She meant "take what's offered when its offered," but I want it printed on the programs at my funeral
But, will there be tarts?
I don't mean to besmirch the original commenter's honour, but I read it as the tart will be in the coffin, having passed.
Exactly!
I was just trying to get an invite. 🤪
Anything bad happens:
My grandad: "FLAMING JACKSAWS AND BUCKETS OF BLOOD!"
He was never in a metal band that I'm aware of.
It's not so much a catch phrase, but words that I will always remember.
My grandmother was a WWII vet who came home and vowed to be a pacifist. She raised 7 kids before going back to school. She was at Kent State in 1970, working on her masters degree. She happened to be on the commons when bullets started flying.
She died ~2002. When we were cleaning out her belongings we came across a brown stained handkerchief in a plastic bag along with some news clippings. The clippings were her letter to the editor of the Akron Beacon Journal describing her experience on May 4th. The hanky had a little handwritten note that said "this is the blood of Allison Krause. Shed for many. May 4th, 1970".
My grandmother was an amazing woman who did so many great things after the war. You could easily write a movie about her accomplishments. But out of everything she did, the words on that little note made the biggest impact on who I would grow to be.
I'm genuinely stilled at this, and did not expect such an emotionally gripping comment in this thread. Thank you for the moment of quiet contemplation of peace and its genuine maintenance costs. ❤️
In response to someone saying "oh my god" every single time, without fail:
"Well he's my god too!"
Our god.
(Cue L'Internationale.)
Comrade?
My dad would say "my name is dad" to people saying "oh my god" to anything he did
A blind man would be happy to see that. (About a task completed poorly on a jobsite)
They is also "better hear that than being deaf" after hearing something ridiculous.
"A boat is a hole in the water you throw money in." - Grandpa
"It's like that for a while...then it gets worse." - Grandpa
"Even the worst pizza is still pretty damn good." - Grandpa
No idea if, or who, he may have stolen those sayings from but I'll always remember him for them.
You make a better door than a window.
AKA move
We used to get that one too, also put wood in t'hole AKA shut the door
Two that I often quote:
Into each life, a little rain must fall. (almost always delivered sarcastically)
And:
Well, people in hell want ice water.
I loved that woman. Wish I would have known her better.
Into each life, a little rain must fall.
I think this is a phrase in a song from The Ink Spots.
Correct! And also a Queen song from 1989.
"Never fear the sea, fear the storm."
"Getting old's not for pussies" - my Grandma
All my grandparents passed when I was young and I didn't know them well. However, my uncle quotes his father quite a bit. General advice "Never do anything you wouldn't want to read about in the paper." Whenever he offers you something, or is jokingly telling you why you shouldn't do something "It will make your babies come out naked and screaming" Also my mom's side of the family has a common last name and my grandfather stated that if we met another person that shared our last name that we could accept them as family if they were "reasonably dressed, moderately sober, and not asking for money"
My grandfather would say “Is your daddy a glassmaker?” And when we’d inevitably say no, “Then get from in front the tv!” Meaning we were in his way, as children tend to be lol. Me and husband use this all the time with each other.
"There's not enough blue to make a cat a pair of pants!"
From my southern grandmother, when she'd spot a break in the clouds on an overcast day
Apparently the British say "Just enough blue to patch a Dutchman's trousers." Tom Lewis wrote a song with that title.
I've heard a couple of variations, but that's a new one for me! I love it!
“You may have descended from monkeys but not me” from my grandma. She was a stubborn woman who had a hard time adjusting to the idea of evolution. I’m mostly atheist but I still get a kick out of this one
that's pretty funny, but, adjusting to the idea? unless you're hella old, evolution was probably an old idea by the time your grandma was born lol
My grandpa whenever we scraped our knee or something: "You'll grow new bark"
"who is she? The cats mother?"
If you ever refer to my grandmother as "she" or "her" she will cut you off to say that.
My grandmother used to say that too!
When doing stuff, my grandfather would sometimes say:
"Even small things help", said the fly, and she pissed into the sea.
Always made me laugh.
My Pop, whenever he was asked where something was: "It's in Annie's room, behind the clock." There was no Annie in our family, nor a bedroom with a clock you could put things behind.
Also my Pop whenever asked what something was: "It's a wig-wam for a goose's bridle."
These may not be iconic to anyone else, but they are sure as hell iconic in family lore, and us grand-kids are making sure we pass it down as much as we can.
My maternal grandfather said "By Jove" a lot.
My paternal grandfather had a lot of sayings: "here's me head, me arse is coming", "she walks with a bit of a run", etc - typing them out a lot had to do with the way people walked. There are more though.
Whenever I got hurt, my grandmother would say "It'll get better before you're married!" I use that to this day with my nieces and nephews, who are not amused.
Was/is she German? Sounds like a German thing.
Nope, Polish!
My grandpa was german. In german, jetztwhich in english would be pronounced something like “yetst”, means “now”. His whole life he would use “yet” in place of where an english-native speaker would say “now”, and i always thought that was adorable.
“I’ve raised enough kids, I’m not raising grandkids too”
And that’s the story of how I never had a relationship with my grandparents
Some grandparents say "goodbye", my grandparents always departed with "Don't take any wooden nickels!"
When my 89 yo grandma accidentally farts she says "oops I stepped on a duck."
Lol! My grandma would say, "it was a frog!"
When I die, just stick a ham bone up me ass and let the dogs carry me away.
"How'd you seem to be this morning?"
My mother’s requests for us to calm down escalated over the years:
“Cool your jets”
“Don’t get your underwear in a wad”
“Don’t get caught in your zipper”
"You make a better door than you do a window."
...Anytime we got in front of the TV.
In France we say "Ton père est pas vitrier" ~"Your father isn't a window maker".
Same in Austria but passiv-aggressivly framed as a rhetoric question: "War dein Vater ein Glaserer?"
My youngest brother upon hearing that for the umpteenth time from our Grampa, decided to get clever and half-bent to throw over his shoulder with a smirk "Then, use the keyhole."
I never saw the old man leap out of his recliner so fast, and to this day I think that little smartass is still looking over his shoulder for that righteous comeuppance. 😱
Oh man... this takes me back.
My grandpa used to always say to us kids, "I'm going to go upstairs to have sex with your grandmother".
George Carlin used this one. "I'm going upstairs and fuck your grandma"
From my grandma (who got it from her father):
"Of course the story is true, it just didn't happen"
Essentially, the story is more important than the actual event.
Sound like a motto for Reddit lol
My great grandma would say: "There's nothing bad which would not result in something good."
It's an ill wind that doesn't blow somebody good.
My grandfather:
"Life is hard only for those who are soft."
Mom says that my great grandmother had a notorious potty mouth. Whenever she'd get up off the chair she'd yell "oh, this heavy ass of mine!" ("Ay, este culo tan pesado!")
i've heard my appalachian dialect speaking grandmother use the word "quit" in the like 1700's british sense of "to leave." that, and she used to say that she was going to do something "directly" like "we're going to the store, directly." such archaic speech patterns.
the word "appalachia" is pronounced "app uh latch uh" btw
Are you telling me that "Appa-lay-cheeya" is wrong?!? /j It's all I hear after I moved North East from Appalachia.
What about Poke? Airish?
My dad emulates a deep East Texas piney woods accent. He sounds like Boomhauer if you're not related to us, and he uses directly like that as well. I have no idea why, since no one else I know does it, but I will if I'm trying to obfuscate a deadline.
"Tables are for glasses, not asses."
~ My grandpa, whenever someone sat on a table.
My grandfather was always "fair to middlin'"
When they didn't get a hug first, we'd get "What am I, chopped liver."
"Save every five minutes and never buy Packard Bell."
The good old days weren't always so good
Whenever we got a minor injury like on our knee, he would tell us "I can hurt the other one so you can't tell which hurts more"
When we would go fishing, he always ended up sitting on a "barking spider"
The one I borrowed from him to great effect is "beer has water in it" whenever he was told to drink water
My grandfather gave me three options when I was young and slightly hurt. "I can hurt the other one, amputate the one that hurts, or you can go to bed."
Everytime my Nana would send an email or leave a voicemail, she would sign off "Ciao for now!"
"Because God loves Ireland!" after any question they might no tknow the answer for
The same one I'm still using today: "Kill all Nazis."
"Pull my finger."
My grandmother would describe the phenomenon of raining while the sun is shining as The Devil beating his wife.
The South African version is "a monkey's wedding".
Yo what the fuck
Not good luck, good management. Luck is not a strategy.
Talking about making plans and thinking ahead.
My grandma, having to call for help but doesn’t know who of the many kids are around: hey, hey human who was named
Translation takes away from it.
My great-grandmother was a fan of "you know who you are, get over here"
Their seniority allow(ed) them free passes on details or precision.
Which language?
Hey you
(Insert place) was so empty you could throw a cow through it!
Mz granddad used to say "Life is hard and unfair." whenever we complained about stupid shit.
I always liked "life is hard and then you die"
Right up there with "Life is pain, Princess. Get a helmet, keep walking."
Whenever my Grandfather, a WWII combat veteran, saw something he didn't approve of: "The things you see when they don't let you carry a gun any more...".
My other Grandfather didn't really have any funny phrases, but my Nana when she didn't approve of something would just use the "Well, that's a how modern people do things I suppose". It was really the only complaint she'd make, the only time I ever saw her lose her temper with someone was the day I got into a traffic accident and she had to be physically restrained from going after the driver for hurting her grandchild hahaha (I was the passenger).
In like Flynn.
What does that even mean?
"In like Flynn" is a slang phrase meaning "having quickly or easily achieved a goal or gained access as desired."
"... So I said, 'I do too know how to dig a hole! I say [racial slur], dig me hole!', Hahahaha!!!"
I learned more than I wanted to as a kid...
redditor, dig me a hole!
I don't care for that Adolf guy one bit, such foul language!
Don't you dare use that kind of disgusting language here!
From my grandma,
Est la Fromage, such is cheese, sometimes it’s sweet, sometimes it’s bitter, sometimes it stinks like Limburger.
"Putang ina." ("Son of a whore")
They said this charming Filipino phrase whenever I did something stupid. So, often enough to count as a catchphrase.
Mo
"Things are the way they are."
Seriously.
It is what it is.
Take me out back and shoot me.
Don't pass up the opportunity to have sex or take a shit: you'll always regret it.
A whistling woman or a whistling hen, will drive the devil from his den.
(My wife's grandfather, not mine.)
I was raised by my grandparents.
My grandfather was the cook most of the time, and he was always trying new recipies he found online: in years, I don't think I ever saw him cook the same meal twice.
Everytime he'd taste something new, he'd enthusiastically comment "it's different than usual!" (Rough translation from French "ça fait changment!")
To this day, I have no idea how good or how bad he thought any of those dishes were.
My gram used to quote MAD Magazine and Cracked with me all the time so that was pretty amazing. <3
Dumb mistakes are called boners and all the kids and grandkids snicker
“[Life is] only once around. Travel while you’re young.” -Grandma Violet
It probably doesn't translate very well. But my grandfather always said something like "If you don't behave I'll put your head between your two ears" and us kids would always giggle and say that it was already the case. I often use that phrase now.
Those who run don't see it, those who love don't mind it.
"Aki szalad nem látja, aki szeret nem bánja."
Basically strangers don't matter, your flaws wouldn't stick out to them. And your loved ones will accept you as you are.
"An old Indian taught me that." (Idk where I learned this)
"And we're off like a turd-of-hurdles/smelly underwear." (Underway)
"Oh, I know it!" (I agree whole-heartedly)
"(That's) big noise." (Nonsense)
"Slicker than dog snot!" (The bee's knees)
"It's colder than Christmas". For reference I live in TX, so it doesn't take much for it to be colder than Christmas (it's not uncommon for Christmas to be in the 80s F).
When my grandmother met my now wife, who is from Alabama, my grandmother told her “well, we all have to be from somewhere”
As someone who's family is from Alabama, I hard agree with your grandma. Where was she from? And can I steal her line?
My grandma was from the Midwest, mostly South Dakota. My grandma was very sweet and so it really cracked us up when she said that.
That to me sounds like a very northern state phrase. I can absolutely hear my grandma saying that (not saying you/they are, just made me smile thinking of that)
“Better an empty house, than a bad tenant” after every loud fart.
i use a very similar one, in german we say: everything that doesn't pay rent gets thrown out
"You don't have to shovel rain." - My grandfather when asked why he moved the family from Wisconsin to Oregon.
Now, that's wisdom I can get behind! 🤙🏼 (raised out yonder in the mitten, now happily left coast rooted)
"How are you ever gonna keep a job if you can't keep juice in a cup?!"
I was 9 years old
Brutal 🤣🤌🏼
My grandmother used to say: if you expect your good deed to be reciprocated, you’re not actually doing a good deed.
She said it in dutch, so I hope it’s an decent translation.
I've heard this one put similarly: "If you're looking for something in return, even your good deeds are an extension of your selfishness."
My grandma would say "he can put his boots at the foot of my bed." My grandma had the hots for lots of younger country singers.
My mom used to say Robert Redford could park his shoes under her bed anytime.
From my grandmother: "Essen! Essen!" (Eat! Eat!) Followed quickly by "You need to lose weight! You're getting fat!"
Do we have the same grandma.
I don't know about 'iconic' but I once heard my grandpa say "I'd eat 5 feet of her shit just to see where it came from." and that mental scar will probably stay with me the rest of my life.
Me too..
Is this a military thing? One of the characters in Generation Kill says this in the first episode.
Possibly? I think he might of been in the military but I've never heard him talk about it.
From my mom, not my grandparents, but we've gotten a lot of mileage out of this one
"If I find it, can I hit you with it?"
Used when we were bugging her about not being able to find something. Don't believe she ever made good on that threat, but it usually did it's intended purpose of getting us to quit bugging her and find it ourselves. And if it was something we really needed help finding it would have been an acceptable trade-off.
My sister got a lot of use out of it with her college roommates and my wife and I use it with each other pretty regularly.
My grandpa had a million one liners, most were somewhat inappropriate but here's a fun one. He'd say, "Did anyone get hurt in that wreck?" To any of my friends that drove over. When they inevitably asked "what wreck?" He'd say, "the one you pulled up in." This was devastating to the ones who were super proud of their cars. Lol
‘Whits fur ye will no’ go past ye’ - what’s for you will not go past you
My wee Scottish granny had some real wisdom.
‘No point in worrying about somethin cos if it happens ye suffer twice!’
My parents used these hahhaa. And the classic for when you've had enough of someone "go get in the sea"
After reading this comment, I was going to ask what "get tae fook" meant, but then I clocked your username and now I'm not sure that's so wise.
Hahaha. Yeah. That means basically fuck off, get fucked.
When he was talking about turning 100: "I can't see, and I can't hear, but I can still eat so I'm not going to die."
He did indeed make it to 100.
Friend's grandfather used to say...
The hurrier I go the behinder I get.
I love this, I'm gonna have to start using it when everyone is rushing and making silly mistakes at work
My grandmother: “You can get glad in the same pants that you got mad in.”
Also, when you’re hurt: “it’ll feel better when it quits hurting.”
My mom too on the pants. 🙂
"Who just shit my pants?"
When he wanted to remind us to turn off lights, he'd yell "save electrodes!"
When he was splitting wood with the "kabunger" (splitting maul) he'd yell "katabuungie!" When he swung.
When he'd drop wood on his toe he'd yell "GOTDAMMITSONOFABITCHGRAAH"
My grandmother said, "The time for tarts are when they're passing." She meant "take what's offered when its offered," but I want it printed on the programs at my funeral
But, will there be tarts?
I don't mean to besmirch the original commenter's honour, but I read it as the tart will be in the coffin, having passed.
Exactly!
I was just trying to get an invite. 🤪
Anything bad happens:
My grandad: "FLAMING JACKSAWS AND BUCKETS OF BLOOD!"
He was never in a metal band that I'm aware of.
It's not so much a catch phrase, but words that I will always remember.
My grandmother was a WWII vet who came home and vowed to be a pacifist. She raised 7 kids before going back to school. She was at Kent State in 1970, working on her masters degree. She happened to be on the commons when bullets started flying.
She died ~2002. When we were cleaning out her belongings we came across a brown stained handkerchief in a plastic bag along with some news clippings. The clippings were her letter to the editor of the Akron Beacon Journal describing her experience on May 4th. The hanky had a little handwritten note that said "this is the blood of Allison Krause. Shed for many. May 4th, 1970".
My grandmother was an amazing woman who did so many great things after the war. You could easily write a movie about her accomplishments. But out of everything she did, the words on that little note made the biggest impact on who I would grow to be.
Here's a little write up about the hankerchief/clippings.
I'm genuinely stilled at this, and did not expect such an emotionally gripping comment in this thread. Thank you for the moment of quiet contemplation of peace and its genuine maintenance costs. ❤️
In response to someone saying "oh my god" every single time, without fail:
"Well he's my god too!"
Our god.
(Cue L'Internationale.)
Comrade?
My dad would say "my name is dad" to people saying "oh my god" to anything he did
A blind man would be happy to see that. (About a task completed poorly on a jobsite)
They is also "better hear that than being deaf" after hearing something ridiculous.
"A boat is a hole in the water you throw money in." - Grandpa
"It's like that for a while...then it gets worse." - Grandpa
"Even the worst pizza is still pretty damn good." - Grandpa
No idea if, or who, he may have stolen those sayings from but I'll always remember him for them.
You make a better door than a window.
AKA move
We used to get that one too, also put wood in t'hole AKA shut the door
Two that I often quote:
And:
I loved that woman. Wish I would have known her better.
I think this is a phrase in a song from The Ink Spots.
Correct! And also a Queen song from 1989.
"Never fear the sea, fear the storm."
"Getting old's not for pussies" - my Grandma
All my grandparents passed when I was young and I didn't know them well. However, my uncle quotes his father quite a bit. General advice "Never do anything you wouldn't want to read about in the paper." Whenever he offers you something, or is jokingly telling you why you shouldn't do something "It will make your babies come out naked and screaming" Also my mom's side of the family has a common last name and my grandfather stated that if we met another person that shared our last name that we could accept them as family if they were "reasonably dressed, moderately sober, and not asking for money"
My grandfather would say “Is your daddy a glassmaker?” And when we’d inevitably say no, “Then get from in front the tv!” Meaning we were in his way, as children tend to be lol. Me and husband use this all the time with each other.
"There's not enough blue to make a cat a pair of pants!"
From my southern grandmother, when she'd spot a break in the clouds on an overcast day
Apparently the British say "Just enough blue to patch a Dutchman's trousers." Tom Lewis wrote a song with that title.
I've heard a couple of variations, but that's a new one for me! I love it!
“You may have descended from monkeys but not me” from my grandma. She was a stubborn woman who had a hard time adjusting to the idea of evolution. I’m mostly atheist but I still get a kick out of this one
that's pretty funny, but, adjusting to the idea? unless you're hella old, evolution was probably an old idea by the time your grandma was born lol
My grandpa whenever we scraped our knee or something: "You'll grow new bark"
"who is she? The cats mother?"
If you ever refer to my grandmother as "she" or "her" she will cut you off to say that.
My grandmother used to say that too!
When doing stuff, my grandfather would sometimes say:
"Even small things help", said the fly, and she pissed into the sea.
Always made me laugh.
My Pop, whenever he was asked where something was: "It's in Annie's room, behind the clock." There was no Annie in our family, nor a bedroom with a clock you could put things behind.
Also my Pop whenever asked what something was: "It's a wig-wam for a goose's bridle."
These may not be iconic to anyone else, but they are sure as hell iconic in family lore, and us grand-kids are making sure we pass it down as much as we can.
My maternal grandfather said "By Jove" a lot.
My paternal grandfather had a lot of sayings: "here's me head, me arse is coming", "she walks with a bit of a run", etc - typing them out a lot had to do with the way people walked. There are more though.
Whenever I got hurt, my grandmother would say "It'll get better before you're married!" I use that to this day with my nieces and nephews, who are not amused.
Was/is she German? Sounds like a German thing.
Nope, Polish!
My grandpa was german. In german,
jetztwhich in english would be pronounced something like “yetst”, means “now”. His whole life he would use “yet” in place of where an english-native speaker would say “now”, and i always thought that was adorable.“I’ve raised enough kids, I’m not raising grandkids too”
And that’s the story of how I never had a relationship with my grandparents
Some grandparents say "goodbye", my grandparents always departed with "Don't take any wooden nickels!"
When my 89 yo grandma accidentally farts she says "oops I stepped on a duck."
Lol! My grandma would say, "it was a frog!"
When I die, just stick a ham bone up me ass and let the dogs carry me away.
"How'd you seem to be this morning?"
My mother’s requests for us to calm down escalated over the years: “Cool your jets” “Don’t get your underwear in a wad” “Don’t get caught in your zipper”
"You make a better door than you do a window." ...Anytime we got in front of the TV.
In France we say "Ton père est pas vitrier" ~"Your father isn't a window maker".
Same in Austria but passiv-aggressivly framed as a rhetoric question: "War dein Vater ein Glaserer?"
My youngest brother upon hearing that for the umpteenth time from our Grampa, decided to get clever and half-bent to throw over his shoulder with a smirk "Then, use the keyhole."
I never saw the old man leap out of his recliner so fast, and to this day I think that little smartass is still looking over his shoulder for that righteous comeuppance. 😱
Oh man... this takes me back.
My grandpa used to always say to us kids, "I'm going to go upstairs to have sex with your grandmother".
George Carlin used this one. "I'm going upstairs and fuck your grandma"
From my grandma (who got it from her father):
"Of course the story is true, it just didn't happen"
Essentially, the story is more important than the actual event.
Sound like a motto for Reddit lol
My great grandma would say: "There's nothing bad which would not result in something good."
It's an ill wind that doesn't blow somebody good.
My grandfather: "Life is hard only for those who are soft."
Mom says that my great grandmother had a notorious potty mouth. Whenever she'd get up off the chair she'd yell "oh, this heavy ass of mine!" ("Ay, este culo tan pesado!")
i've heard my appalachian dialect speaking grandmother use the word "quit" in the like 1700's british sense of "to leave." that, and she used to say that she was going to do something "directly" like "we're going to the store, directly." such archaic speech patterns.
the word "appalachia" is pronounced "app uh latch uh" btw
Are you telling me that "Appa-lay-cheeya" is wrong?!? /j It's all I hear after I moved North East from Appalachia.
What about Poke? Airish?
My dad emulates a deep East Texas piney woods accent. He sounds like Boomhauer if you're not related to us, and he uses directly like that as well. I have no idea why, since no one else I know does it, but I will if I'm trying to obfuscate a deadline.
"Tables are for glasses, not asses."
~ My grandpa, whenever someone sat on a table.
My grandfather was always "fair to middlin'"
When they didn't get a hug first, we'd get "What am I, chopped liver."
"Save every five minutes and never buy Packard Bell."
The good old days weren't always so good
Whenever we got a minor injury like on our knee, he would tell us "I can hurt the other one so you can't tell which hurts more"
When we would go fishing, he always ended up sitting on a "barking spider"
The one I borrowed from him to great effect is "beer has water in it" whenever he was told to drink water
My grandfather gave me three options when I was young and slightly hurt. "I can hurt the other one, amputate the one that hurts, or you can go to bed."
Everytime my Nana would send an email or leave a voicemail, she would sign off "Ciao for now!"
"Because God loves Ireland!" after any question they might no tknow the answer for
The same one I'm still using today: "Kill all Nazis."
"Pull my finger."
My grandmother would describe the phenomenon of raining while the sun is shining as The Devil beating his wife.
The South African version is "a monkey's wedding".
Yo what the fuck
Not good luck, good management. Luck is not a strategy.
Talking about making plans and thinking ahead.
My grandma, having to call for help but doesn’t know who of the many kids are around: hey, hey human who was named
Translation takes away from it.
My great-grandmother was a fan of "you know who you are, get over here"
Their seniority allow(ed) them free passes on details or precision.
Which language?
Hey you
(Insert place) was so empty you could throw a cow through it!
Mz granddad used to say "Life is hard and unfair." whenever we complained about stupid shit.
I always liked "life is hard and then you die"
Right up there with "Life is pain, Princess. Get a helmet, keep walking."
Whenever my Grandfather, a WWII combat veteran, saw something he didn't approve of: "The things you see when they don't let you carry a gun any more...".
My other Grandfather didn't really have any funny phrases, but my Nana when she didn't approve of something would just use the "Well, that's a how modern people do things I suppose". It was really the only complaint she'd make, the only time I ever saw her lose her temper with someone was the day I got into a traffic accident and she had to be physically restrained from going after the driver for hurting her grandchild hahaha (I was the passenger).
In like Flynn.
What does that even mean?
wiki
"... So I said, 'I do too know how to dig a hole! I say [racial slur], dig me hole!', Hahahaha!!!"
I learned more than I wanted to as a kid...
redditor, dig me a hole!
I don't care for that Adolf guy one bit, such foul language!
Don't you dare use that kind of disgusting language here!
From my grandma, Est la Fromage, such is cheese, sometimes it’s sweet, sometimes it’s bitter, sometimes it stinks like Limburger.
"Putang ina." ("Son of a whore")
They said this charming Filipino phrase whenever I did something stupid. So, often enough to count as a catchphrase.
Mo
"Things are the way they are."
Seriously.
It is what it is.
Take me out back and shoot me.
Don't pass up the opportunity to have sex or take a shit: you'll always regret it.
A whistling woman or a whistling hen, will drive the devil from his den.
(My wife's grandfather, not mine.)
I was raised by my grandparents.
My grandfather was the cook most of the time, and he was always trying new recipies he found online: in years, I don't think I ever saw him cook the same meal twice.
Everytime he'd taste something new, he'd enthusiastically comment "it's different than usual!" (Rough translation from French "ça fait changment!")
To this day, I have no idea how good or how bad he thought any of those dishes were.
My gram used to quote MAD Magazine and Cracked with me all the time so that was pretty amazing. <3
Dumb mistakes are called boners and all the kids and grandkids snicker
“[Life is] only once around. Travel while you’re young.” -Grandma Violet
It probably doesn't translate very well. But my grandfather always said something like "If you don't behave I'll put your head between your two ears" and us kids would always giggle and say that it was already the case. I often use that phrase now.
Those who run don't see it, those who love don't mind it.
"Aki szalad nem látja, aki szeret nem bánja."
Basically strangers don't matter, your flaws wouldn't stick out to them. And your loved ones will accept you as you are.
"An old Indian taught me that." (Idk where I learned this)
"And we're off like a turd-of-hurdles/smelly underwear." (Underway)
"Oh, I know it!" (I agree whole-heartedly)
"(That's) big noise." (Nonsense)
"Slicker than dog snot!" (The bee's knees)
"It's colder than Christmas". For reference I live in TX, so it doesn't take much for it to be colder than Christmas (it's not uncommon for Christmas to be in the 80s F).
Good gravy!
Judas Priest