Gamer Rule

Berin@discuss.tchncs.de to 196@lemmy.blahaj.zone – 754 points –
85

And you can eat your favorite chaff at the same time!

It needs a port that you can attach your bag of caffeinated noodles to.

You can make the most vile, cynical, brainrotting product if you advertise it to Gamers™.

In 10 yearls you'll be slopping down on PowerNoods™, not even knowing how silly you looked here, smh.

You won't even need to heat the noodles up; they're ready to eat right from the pouch.

My Teammates:

"Wtf is that sound?!"

"Kolanaki put oats in his gamer muzzle again..."

Me: munches on oats

🐴?

A horse is a 🐴, of course. Unless it was Mr. Ed.

A horse is a horse, of course, of course, And no one can talk to a horse, of course, That is, of course, unless the horse Is the famous Mister Ed!

Go right to the source and ask the horse, He'll give you the answer that you'll endorse. He's always on a steady course. Talk to Mister Ed!

People yakkity-yak a streak and waste their time of day; but Mr. Ed will never speak unless he has something to say!

Man, I hadn't ever noticed the "i" in your name. That changes things

Does the ℹ️ emoji not work for some people or is the i in that box just hard to read? 🤔 You're not the first to think my name was just "Kolanak."

It is readable and it shows for me correctly. I just didn't pay attention to it and thought it's like an information icon that's not specifically part of your name

Im not gonna fuckin lie, I looked into buying one of these FOR WEEKS cus of my college dorm.

250 something dollars. Im good.

That is way too expensive for a product like this, that also might not work for its intended use (if their nose isn't fully covered like in the picture, I'd expect the screaming to leak out quite a bit. Might've worked for my idea of using it for call privacy (speaking softly) but still that's way too much for something that'll probably only be useful for that niche use-case.

250 is ridiculous, just buy a lavalier mic and put a face mask on at that point

A regular facemask won't dampen sound much though.

This, Im impulsive as shit, so just "Shutting up" aint gonna work like that sadly. The only other option is soundproofing the shit outta my room.

Is there... Is there a matching blindfold? Asking for a friend.

i guess the equivalent for the eyes would be a vr headseat, since it makes it impossible for people outside to know what you're looking at (i think, i dont know if the pc's monitor shows what the person is seeing as i do not have a vr headset)

In case you were worried they have an accessory that will channel your farts directly to the face mask. Metadox knows what gamers want.

Or buy one of their celebrity sponsored "Gamer Farts" Its like Pokimane and Travis Scott are really there filling your room with farts!

Just buy a gag, it makes saying a slur more difficult, saving yourself from bans

Why do we want to save these people from bans? They need to be removed from the community, if from society altogether. Better for them to say it out loud than to think it quietly, otherwise these people will quietly ruin our lives one step at a time and we won't realize it as they're doing it.

I mean it could be useful in dorms and shared room situations.

I just wish someone put serious effort into a microphone that worked with a mask so people wearing masks were easier to understand.

There are a lot of people who speak at conferences who still wear masks. I get it, even if you weren't worried about COVID, in the pre-COVID times a lot of people were out for a week after going to a conference / convention because of all the germs being passed around.

But, even with professional speakers and professional microphones, the audio just sounds muddy when the speaker is wearing a mask.

If they're up on a stage by themselves speaking, and no one is within 10 meters from them, as most public speaking scenarios are, then why the fuck are they still wearing a mask? Take it off you unprofessional fuck.

I think you may be overestimating the size of room most convention speakers address. 2m from panelist to front row of audience is normal.

Do you still, in 2024, not understand how airborne illnesses like COVID spread?

Mmm, now we can get the full meatiness of choke-burping and mucus snorting! Downright sensual!

I don't speak on Voice chat though, mainly because many gamers online are racist (and sexist) pigs. Back in the day I did used to use TeamSpeak to talk to others in games and they both be racist toward me, and make fun of my voice saying I sound like a girl.

So, text only from now on, if reading is too hard especially with spelling mstakes if I'm doing it quickly in game, fuck them.

I do think this could have some use for me though, particularly with private calls which I'd prefer other people to not hear the other side of, though it's still very hard to justify it since it just looks way too silly.

It took me years to find gaming buddies who aren't racist shitbags and we still have to punt the occasional edgelord who decides to get up in someone's face with that shit. Not a single one of my remaining discord communities is gaming focused, those all ended up being Superfund levels of toxic. Hobby and tech communities though? Plenty of good friends there that I play games with occasionally.

Yeah, I do have friends who I play online games with. Though I still don't speak because I'm still very self-conscientious about my voice, and I know it's stupid, but it's just how I feel. The only people I do talk with in Voice chat or phone calls are the friends I know in real life.

I'm sorry that is your experience. I play overwatch and have met many people with similar experiences. I try to be a safe and fun person to play with specifically with people like you in mind. I hope you find friends to have with that you feel comfortable enough to chat and be friends with.

Okay jokes aside this is actually kind of a great idea

Combine it with the semi-adjustable GAMER wrist-proximity-fixation devices (also available in plush) as well as the the GAMER lumination-induced eye strain block face-covering mask device for best results.

imagine not censoring the company’s name, they paid Facebook for the ad, they didn’t pay you

What will they think of next?

Complete the set! Further protect your loved ones and property from emotional competitive reactions and other unpredictable gamer movements:

Why not using a throat mic? They are cheaper.

Voice damping is the main feature of the device, not the microphone.

With a throat mic you can talk without making a sound (if you train).

How? Can you whisper in a throat mic? (Genuine question)

They say you can. It works with the vibration of the throat, not the voice.

Huh, that's really neat!

gamers reinvent the stenomask

Austin Evans tried this.

He deemed it unnecessary, IIRC.

While silly looking, this is a great idea.

I'm an autismo who can't control the volume of her voice or even tell when she's yelling, so this might actaully be useful

These should be mandatory for all men to wear in public.

Some Lemmy users might benefit from putting these on their hands, too