Absolute legend

CmdrKeen@lemmy.today to Programmer Humor@programming.dev – 1450 points –
113

Everything is open source for this guy after using this simple trick. Big techs HATE him!

Imagine getting a big enough resume to get jobs at any company just so you can do this one neat little trick.

NGL I apply to places where I use the software. But it's not one thing, it's a dozen things I would fix.

I actually never successfully got the job. Probably because during the interview, I come off like a rambling psychopath pointing out extremely specific things.

Part of my previous company's hiring process included having the candidate use our software, then asking what they thought of the experience and what improvements they thought would have the most impact. It wasn't entirely useful because devs weren't in control of prioritizing changes, but it was always interesting to see which pain points stuck out to the candidate.

This strikes me as a really good idea... If they come up with batshit insane things, or obviously can't click straight, it's a good indicator.

It does give some insight into how people think. Some people are bothered with UI events and placement, others wanted to reduce the bandwidth it required, we had one girl who approached it focused on the accessibility of the software, and unfortunately for us support was abysmal. You also need thick skin to invite random joe off the street to tell you how your software sucks.

Honestly, anybody with a gender studies degree can get into software developer nowadays no sweat, nowadays the fortune 500 standards are so low that they'll just hire anyone on the spot without even questioning it. Honestly only started to take note of this the second Biden got into office, the quality of software overall has gone down. Overall, back to open source, I never truly got the open source movement in general, never been my thing. Proprietary software is inheitly more secure which is why most enterprise systems still use windows xp.

I kept reading waiting for the punch line, didn't see one. I think I've fallen victim to Poe's law. I legitimately can't tell if this is satire.

More like source available, since you can’t use the code in your stuff without the permission of the company 🤓

Let the patch be part of the code for one or two minor releases. Then revert the changes of the patch.

Why would they do that? Talk about generating mistrust.

It may not be malice. Incompetence.

They are going to “accidentally” remove a fix?

By not understanding how version control works. I've worked at places that had a surprising number of developers who would just merge things in ways that drop code from other developers.

Can you give an example how that would happen?

It’s pretty straightforward. Merge conflicts? No such thing! Just make my version the next version.

Also that's likely a team that doesn't use a branching workflow, has poor review on merges, and/or using Git like it's SVN.

How optimistic. At my last workplace I got us to finally stop using zip files for version control. This was at a fortune 500 company.

The utility of software is so great that even terrible processes are still functional to some degree.

A times B times C equals X. If X is more than the cost of a failure or security breach, we don't fix the software.

Are there a lot of these kinds of problems?

You wouldn't believe.

Which Fortune 500 company do you work for?

A major one.

I now work for a small business but in the interest of not getting bitten in the ass I don’t wish to give the name of my previous employer. It was a large defense contractor, but our values didn’t align so I moved on when I found another opportunity to put food on the table. I know that’s not a satisfying answer but I’m here for entertainment value and the opportunity cost might not be worth it. My main point was that even though they have the money they didn’t see the value in good software process.

All the time! We would leave bugs unfixed even if the fix was trivially easy because management felt productive listing it as a cost savings. Software maintenance was seen as a necessary evil.

Software maintenance was seen as a necessary evil.

The most important lesson I learned about the economics of software is that sourcecode is always accounted as a liability and not an asset. Accountants will never let you code your way into more value. Everything else you see stems from that truth.

Always love this one, I'd do the same but there's to many fucking things to fix.

Sounds like you should find a new product to use.

I would but due to capitalism there's not much of a choice in products.

I hate when companies just eat an entire industry.

What's the product and what's the field?

Soda and soda accessories.

I'm a Bev tech, there's two companies that make bar guns, tapright and multiplex aka wunderbar. There's more options for fountain dispensing but most of my work is bars and restaurants.

Also AMA about soda dispensing at bars.

Also AMA about soda dispensing at bars.

It's been ages since I worked in a restaurant. IIRC, I never saw that place purge or clean the soda lines. And there was a LOT of plumbing between the fountains and the back where the syrup was kept.

At the risk of making everyone re-think ever eating out again: how often do establishments do that kind of maintenance? And is that within the recommended manufacturer interval?

Oh my the scary question.

Most places legit never do unless there's a problem. When I do service I'll usually flush what is needed but I don't have time for a full cleaning since the customer is supposed to do that.

Corporate chains tend to have actual SOP so they tend to be cleaner in general and will have their lines cleaned more often.

I generally suggest every 4 weeks, and to do it when a box needs to be changed since you are only gonna be flushing the last bit of an old box out of the lines. Luke warm water in a 5 gallon pail and you dunk your qcds with the caps off, run the gun or fountain till it's clear then start mashing the buttons to get any bits stuck in the line. Pull the qcd from bucket then put cap back on, reattach to box and run gun/fountain till product is running properly.

Tbh, it's not the lines you gotta worry with soda it's the gun itself, some places never clean the nozzles and they get gross. Also most of the time any bad tastes are related to water or a bad syrup ratio. I had someone call me saying their lemon lime tasted "dirty" it was a bad ratio, took me not even 5 min to fix.

I'd worry more about the beer though that's a whole different beast. Lines should be done every two weeks, once a month at the very least. That shit will make you sick if it's dirty enough, I've seen so horrid things related to beer.

Thanks!

Heh, well, here's a question: what type of software is missing in this industry that would make a killing in profits, if developed?

I'd say an app or service that allows restaurants and bars to connect with local independent bar and soda techs to request services. Has the ability to track calls, submit invoices and collect payment along with maybe being able to order from suppliers

There's alot of places that have no idea who to call for issues relating to that stuff especially with how often staff turns over.

What's a good alternative to reddit that isnt Lemmy?

Have you heard of Digg?

Fuck man, If I switch to Dig I feel like I've done the internet out of order xD I'll have to check Digg out I guess

It seems like I'm constantly finding bugs in businesses' apps. Do they not have people test them?

They do, and they have a backlog of hundreds of issues to fix and they must prioritise then. If fixing a bug doesn't make money, it's not priority.

I hate how they'll spend 4 years squashing all the bugs.........and then they cancel the software, and release a new buggy version.

i will never forgive the emby team for creating the single most idiotic (although rather funny) transcoding system.

It has a resolution selection, along with a bitrate selection, so you would think it forces transcoding.

It turns out the resolution is actually just a suggestion, and the bitrate is what it targets, if it doesn't meet the bitrate, it will transcode, and if you get lucky, it might transcode to the specified resolution.

I am steadfast that I will occasionally take some time and kill off some low hanging fruit. For me, its kind of like a break and lets me clear my head on the bigger issues.

Even then, there are bugs that need multiple people (design, engineering, content, QA, etc) and are not something that can be fixed on a whim.

Those would not be considered low hanging fruit.

The problem is that what users consider low hanging fruit is often not, and what is low hanging fruit for devs, is invisible stuff that users don't notice. The intersection is the tastiest low hanging fruit, but as such it's also rare and easily picked by anyone.

I never said that users were involved in this. This is just grabbing some bugs off the queue that are simple to fix but have been deprioritized by project manager.

But they do make the customer happy because they are the one that submitted the bug.

As someone in the dev team for a "business app", we probably know about most or all of them, but they're just not important enough for anyone in management to prioritize them as part of a sprint. It's also possible no one has given us reproducible steps to make them happen, so we just straight up don't know what to fix. Usually the former though.

I would fix that bug but the complete rewrite that management has had me working on for the past two years will make it obsolete anyway.

Sometimes. Other times they layoff the QAs and anyone else whose job is about quality.

They usually do yes however it's all about prioritization.

You may have hundreds or thousands or open requests and issues.

With tens of thousands of closed issues that were either not reproducible, not actually problems, or largely indecipherable.

There's usually a feature roadmap which is where most of the development money and time is spent. If it's an older business application then certain bugs might easily take weeks to find, fix, test, validate, go through user acceptance, A/B test, and then deploy. But fixing is expensive work, so if the bug isn't severe it's usually deprioritized next to higher priority work.

Reminds me of when my breaks started failing on my 1990 Chrysler LeBaron so I got a job at a break repair place long enough to fix them then I quit.

those bits on a car are called "brakes". When a brake breaks, it's a broken brake and needs to be fixed.

brakes

I think "breaks" is appropriate if you own a Chrysler.

My dad has a TC Maserati (Chrysler labaron) and it's "breaks" just recently stopped working for no reason, so very accurate

What needed repaired?

Pads, calibers and new discs. That seemed like a lot of money for 17 year old kid. I worked there for a couple of months. I learned a few things, like working on brakes is not for me.

I hate working on brakes. Even just replacing pads can be a pain in the ass nevermind when you have to do real work to 'em.

I try to do all the basic work/maintenance myself, but fuck brakes.

Bro that reminds me when I was in university and I used to tutor fellow students with the goal of getting laid. As soon as I got laid I stopped tutoring. Now unfortunately I'm married and have kids because of that.

wat

He tutored girls with the hopes of getting laid, but then when he did, it turns out he liked her and settled down with her and is now married to her.

Ohhhh for some reason my mind went to him trying to tutor other dudes to help them with women. Was very confused.

Same.

Wow, what a bro. Where was this guy when I was in school?

::re-reads comment and thread::

Oh. Yeah, that one's on me. That makes a little more sense.

You guys ooze heteronormativism

You ooze self-righteousness.

The original commenter @cumskin_genocide@lemm.ee did neither specify their own sex nor the gender of the people they tutored.

Multiple people under that comment simply assumed that OP is male and was tutoring girls. That is heteronormative. Yes, I formulated that with a bit of snark. But come on.

Maybe the guy is content where he was, asks just wanted to fix that bug