Rule

abbotsbury@lemmy.world to 196@lemmy.blahaj.zone – 1696 points –
189

As it turns out, the majority of folks are just people trying to get by, and if you're nice enough to them, they'll be nice enough to you.

The problem with most terminally online people is that their social lives ended when they left school, which is when the population of arseholes is at its highest. Everybody is trying to impress everybody else, even at the cost of others.

But a lot of those same people tend to chill off as they mature into adults and become less self-centred. There are still absolutely arsehole adults, but nowhere near as many as the terminally online expect there to be.

What do you count as terminally online? I don't differenciate between online and offline friends and spend lots of times talking or chatting to people online (as I spend time doing stuff with people irl). But I wouldn't say that my or this social life is bad.

I would classify "terminally online" as almost exclusively interacting with people online with little to no IRL at all. A bit part of that would also be that the people you interact with are people you've never seen.

I’ll also add another major sign is if you don’t know their irl names. I have close friends who I met over the pandemic who live far away, but we knew each other by name and hear each other’s voices. That’s a big thing. Your Twitter/tumblr mutuals or people you regularly interact with on Reddit/Lemmy are people that terminally online people will think of as friends rather than “no we’ve never met irl but we play d&d together or have a book club over discord”.

The other big thing is whether or not you go to irl events. Just literally being somewhere that’s neither home nor work/school helps so much.

no we’ve never met irl but we play d&d together or have a book club over discord

To be fair, DnD is one of those things I would never ever even consider playing over discord unless I considered you a very good friend, and even then it's begrudgingly. Discord dnd sucks balls.

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I'd call people that who lost contact with reality. So if something you believe could be immediately proven wrong by just stepping outside for a while, you are terminally online.

For example the 4chan theory of: "80 % of women date only 20 % of ultra chad men". There are people who actually believe this.

That theory is used for dating apps, not for dating in general

Nah, unless Match.com was popular with 4chan chuds, that theory was overwhelmingly popular on 4chan way, WAY before dating apps were mainstream.

Dating apps were mainstream long before 4chan existed, although not as dominant. The idea that all of the women go for the top tier of men gained prominence with an analysis posted on the old OKCupid of their user behavior, and the particular 80/20 split was just pulled out of somewhere, likely borrowed from the Pareto Principle. In any case, 4chan may have pathologized it, but certainly did not originate the notion.

My definition is more or less the same as the one @ParsnipWitch offered...

The terminally online are thise who have little to no contact with reality. They are the shut-ins and the NEETs of this world. Those that would fully believe in conspiracies about life which could be disproven simply by interacting with others IRL.

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What about people who use browsers instead of terminals?

Well fuck, you got me there... In one sentence you've just given everyone on 4Chan the ability to touch grass.

Nuh uh there's a reason why social anxiety was, is, and will continue to be a problem for many people

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When real life does not match up with the description given by social rejects on a site notorious for infidelity

notorious for infidelity

What does this part mean?

I think they mean "inaccuracy to reality" rather than "cheating on their partners"

Yeah i was going to say, you’ve gotta have a girlfriend to cheat on a girlfriend.

He means that the stories and information posted there are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted there as a fact.

⛺️🔥 Rest here traveller. Reading the comments in this thread can get tiring.

It's mostly fine. There's one guy who's got a real rough view of the world and taking it out on anyone that engages with him, but if you block him it's a lot better.

@RubiksIsocahedron is a trip

Wow. You led me to a very deep rabbit hole. Not sure if it’s a troll or somebody in serious need for help, but holly hell

Made me wish I could subscribe to a user. Maybe you can, and I just don't know it, but it was wildly entertaining.

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Using high school as a marker for what to expect for the rest of life is such a terrible idea. Just throw that in the rubbish and go experience people for yourself. Wade through the assholes and you’ll find tons of nice folks just trying to live.

While that is true... There is still a ton of high school bullshit going on, especially in workplaces.

All the same drama and gossip... I'm so glad I don't work in an office anymore.

Retail jobs are the worst for that because most people there ended up working them right out of high school

It's true. I think the amount of attention highschool gets, from people saying it was the best years of their lives, to adults coming down hard on you to do the best thing for your future, to your peers seemingly having an amazing time while you're not, winds up making teens feel like it is indicative of how life will be in general.

It never made sense to me, but I wasn't having a GREAT time until I was in my mid 30s. I had something like a 7 year party. Disposable income, before the worst of my aches set in, and just doing whatever I wanted as long as I made it in to work.

High school was Lord of the Flies.

It just goes to show the average age of anons. Too sad if they plateau around that.

  • "X raped my childhood!"
  • "Jeez, Michael, you're in your 20's."

When you're terminally online, it helps to be at least reminded that online culture isn't normal, especially not 4chan. But Reddit, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram are all full of their own weirdness.

Better than recognizing that would be to reintegrate into society fully and leave the internet mostly behind to sulk and moan.

I'll say that at this point, 4chan has been the least toxic of the websites you listed. I left Facebook and still visit 4chan.

But you are correct. People need to unplug more and get outside.

Well that's obviously an unhinged take

4Chan has the most terminally online and antisocial ppl

4chan isn't as offensive to everyone as it is to you.

For example, they might not find outright genocidal opinions all that offensive, and may even enjoy reading them.

There's a way this is true but hard to explain unless you've experienced it. I think 4chan is much more openly toxic and shocking, but I used to mod defaults on reddit and all the same toxicity exists, except its dressed up in nice language and intentions. 4chan, to its detriment or success, is more accepting in a way. Reddit is full of people who know better than you and want to shame people for being stupid, far more judgemental. Some places on reddit are far better than 4chan though and don't have this issue,

Think that might be why I see it that way.

I'd rather hang out with a bunch of self admitted degenerate assholes than those who are the same but dress it up and claim to be better.

4chan in the 00s was something I don't think can ever exist again on the internet. It basically focus-grouped the sort of content that turned in to what the internet is today. I became a total loser at just the right time to experience it coming in to form, then became normal again at just the right time to leave before it became infected with politics.

Crazy story is when I first met my friend's wife, the last person you'd expect to be a b-slur, we basically instantly and telepathically realized we'd both been on 4chan in the 00s. I dunno what it is but the sort of humor on that site was so specific and fucked up that you instantly recognize it.

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That’s so sad. Like I get it, I’ve been the internet shut in and it’s just brutal on your mental health. The blunt reality is that most people are fine and plenty are great. Talk to strangers, you might make friends

They also don't complain about wokeness and people complaining about wokeness

I actually hear people complain about wokeness often irl. At the most random places and times.

Eh, I'm a school bus driver and that shit is like the main topic of discussion in the break room. It's usually that, dog-whistle euphemisms for racism, or outright use of the n-word.

Most people like being around other people who are chill and respectful. There's no magic trickery about it. Get outside and talk to people.

Just talk to random people outside?

Results vary by region... You can try that for a while in northern Europe for example. In southern Europe the first person you speak to will probably end up inviting you for dinner with the family.

I can confirm the last one being quite a bit of an exaggeration. 😂

god that's really depressing

I tried community college first online and then in person at 19/20. Felt so anxious about everything. Mom drove me there and back and was really mean about having to do it. Classes of normies were uber-social, like everybody introduce yourselves and talk aboit the topic. Felt fuck me eyes coming from everyone, which I was probanly returning, but it was a LOT of attention for my loner self. I stopped going and Mom resented me because it cost thousands for like nothing but she didnt want to do it my way either so it was sort of her fault as well. Anyway it was probanly trans dysphoria too. Of course my every waking moment I was like I wonder if they can tell Im feminine please tell me this will help me be more openly queer. Lol.

Wtf does the tilt of your eyes (canthal tilt) have to do with anything? Do incels not like eyes now or something?

Incels think of lots of complicated theories about society and appearances to explain why they think women are not attracted to them

That's interesting, they're pretty much the same techniques used by racists from the 17-1900s to determine "racial superiority". It's like it never went away, just crawled into 4chan

Racist phrenology is alive and well among the racists who hang out on 4chan, and definitely, they also apply it to incel theory, mixed with misogyny and a feeling that genetics and society dealt them an unfair and poor hand which can’t be rectified.

Imagine being trapped by your own shitty illogical standards. I want to say I pity them but I don't, their hate has victims.

It's less that there's a thread of racial superiority that has been continuously passed on, and more than there is a human bias towards rationalizing away complex issues

there are still bubbles out there..

a lot of people are shitty self centered POS's.. i think they just happened to be in the right place at the right time

The self centered POS's are sitting in their mom's basement on 4chan.

Man, who’s would have guessed that normies might be normal people