I can't believe people are still using GUMBIES when there are so many better alternatives.

LolaCat@lemmy.ca to Programmer Humor@programming.dev – 1042 points –

::: spoiler Transcription (Tumblr Post)
mitchipedia

[Screenshot of a Mastodon post]

🐙🐇🐝Pointed Sarah🐞🐡🐧
@sc_griffith@mathstodon.xyz
programmers are always posting like "worked on tracking down an issue with a Flurble deployment for twelve hours. the problem wasn't in Flurble at all - it was in the Gumbies install. It turns out if you install Gumbies 3.0 over Gumbies 2.7 and don't do a cache flush on all the client spiders they'll get stuck in the crystal maze." then you look up Gumbies and the site is one of those scroll scroll scroll types with one sentence per page, like

"GUMBIES is a lean, expressive sharding sandcube for testing and deploying large scale Woodchips playgrounds.

GUMBIES automates and streamlines away watersliding phases, meaning your team can get right to the chipping.

See why Microsoft, OpenAl and Bloingo have embraced GUMBIES in their Woodchips workflows."

and you get to the bottom and you're like I want this I guess but I still don't know what it is

chaussurre

Maybe there wouldn't be as many issues with the crystal maze if GUMBIES POSTED DOCUMENTATION. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU WORK YEARS ON A STABLE GUMBIES CLIENT SPIDER API AND NOT WRITE A LINE OF DOCUMENTATION DO YOU WANT PEOPLE TO NOT USE YOUR SOFTWARE???

jv (verification badge × 7)

Oh and WHY THE FUCK THE OFFICIALLY RECOMMENDED NPM PACKAGE FOR GUMBIES HAVE BEEN IN VERSION 0.1.1 FOR SEVEN YEARS AND SEEMS TO BE DEVELOPED BY "powerwolf112", who hasn't answered a single message in GitHub since 2021????

For all the bells in hell, there are massive websites that are using this amateur crap to defrumbulate their typescript decorators!

anarchywoofwoof

found this thread while trying to debug an issue just checking if anyone knows whether GUMBIES is backward compatible with Pea Gravel playground deployments or if its exclusive to Woodchips thanks in advance

11,862 notes

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Since this was originally a Mastodon post, here it is :)

https://mathstodon.xyz/@sc_griffith/110749575739905416

It's fun that it went: Mastodon (fediverse) --> Tumblr (non-fedi) --> Lemmy (Fedi)

Is the fediverse starting to get rolled into the mainstream content farm. Might help our cause and get more people on the bandwagon.

I saw an article posted on Facebook yesterday about the five guys burgers and fries price complaints, and it quoted word for word comments I saw on a thread here on Lemmy the day before that.

Yeah usually we just go from Tumblr to Fedi. This is kinda interesting.

Turns out the content holds the value, and the hosting platform is a mostly replaceable and interchangeable delivery mechanism. Who would've thunk?

Heh, had already boosted, liked and bookmarked it, nice! 😄

I had no idea that Tumblr was active again? I thought all Tumblr posts from the past 5 years were just recycled old stuff.

I won't lie, but content like this is what I love on programmerhumor.

Also just use the (inferior) open source version of GUMBIES called GRUMBOSS. It's way better!

LUMBIES is open source MIT and GPL3+

Just saying.

Yeah, but LUMBIES is missing catScratcher integration! That's a core feature for my use case and the dev has taken a (ridiculous IMO) proud moral stance against any sort of felidae-adjacent features

Good luck with that. Nintendo just sued GRUMBOSS for $2.4M and shut the project down.

Gumboss doesn't work with the new version of .net and no merge requests have been accepted in like 8 months so you have to manually patch each instance of it yourself to get it work.

There's a script you can download to do this automatically and it works a good 70% of the time!

I am not 100% convinced that this is satire...
Gumbies isn't real... Right?

Wdym? Gumbies is a must-have for any competent Summit developer these days!

Gumbies isn't real, but if you can explain to me how CI/CL or github actions work using only their documentation I'm going to proverbially eat a hat.

using only their documentation

Wdym, are you expecting me to explain something using nothing at all‽

This is really very relatable, some projects lack both clarity and documentation, and trying to make sense of internals from the examples is a mess of a process

Funny you should mention GitHub actions. It's exactly one of those tools where I was like "this seems cool. I would like to use it, but I don't even know what for..." and then when I tried to look into it some more I was just more confused than before.

https://www.gumbies.co.uk/ it's real all right.

Are... are these tacti-cool.... slippers??

ordered.

Okay at least I know what to do with those.

because this is the internet, I'm not exactly sure what you mean with that... and frankly I'm scared to ask.

I mean I was just going to put them on my feet... That's what they're for, right? RIGHT?!
Oh god, now I don't know either...
Nothing is certain!
Reality is starting to crumble!!!

no, you must copulate with the shoes, do it. DO IT NOW.

Otherwise there... is definitely a tomorrow. But.. you know, you do you.

I experienced a new hell today

The whole of the documentation was in video format and you had to accept all cookies to play the videos

At least with GUMBIES not having documentation there is a wide thread of people asking questions on third party sites

This was legitimately part of the reason I went with Laminas instead of Laravel for a project. I really don't want critical documentation to be in video form.

I fully agree with you. However, I just had an interesting thought. Could someone use chatgpt to transcribe the video's audio to text and plop it into a wiki?

Any documentation videos that comply with the accessibility requirements in many jurisdictions will have subtitles. Just extract the subtitles from the video.

Projects based on Gibson novels are lame. The new hotness is documentation based on Bradbury novels.

Wait a second... Is that a Mastodon screenshot on a Tumblr blog?!?

Quick! Screenshot it here and post it on Facebook! The cycle must continue!

I'm not on facebook, so I took a screenshot and put it on discord

time to put it on matrix

By the end of the post chain, I could no longer tell if this was a joke or not.

It'll be extra fun in a few years when someone names their project after this joke.

And stop answering on GitHub after 7 years on v0.1.1

3 more...

Every time I want to do something, I have a look around the baffling ecosystem of frameworks and end up writing it from scratch because it's easier than wading through the bullshit.

You should release what you've written as a framework, that's what everyone else is doing.

\

We've got a good name for it

I feel that the nature of my framework is too simple and too focused on a specific goal to be worthy of the name.

I fed this into chat gpt asking for documentation to add to the gibberish and confusion:

GUMBIES: Sharding Sandcube for Woodchips Playgrounds Overview GUMBIES is a robust, expressive sharding sandcube designed for testing and deploying large-scale Woodchips playgrounds. It serves as a versatile tool to automate and streamline the watersliding phases of the Woodchips workflow, allowing your team to focus on the essential chipping activities.

Key Features Sharding Sandcube: GUMBIES provides a lean and efficient environment for sharding, allowing for the creation and management of scalable Woodchips playgrounds.

Expressive Automation: Automate repetitive tasks and streamline processes, enabling your team to achieve quicker and more efficient Woodchips deployments.

Woodchips Workflow Integration: GUMBIES seamlessly integrates into Woodchips workflows, enhancing the testing and deployment experience for development teams.

Benefits Efficiency: GUMBIES accelerates the testing and deployment phases, reducing the time spent on setting up and managing Woodchips environments.

Scalability: With sharding capabilities, GUMBIES supports the scalability requirements of large Woodchips playgrounds, ensuring optimal performance.

Compatibility: Trusted by industry leaders like Microsoft, OpenAl, and Bloingo, GUMBIES is a reliable choice for Woodchips workflows.

Getting Started Installation

npm install -g gumbies

Basic Usage Initialize a new Woodchips playground:

gumbies init my_woodchips_playground

Configure the playground settings:

cd my_woodchips_playground gumbies configure

Start the Woodchips playground:

gumbies start

Visit our documentation website for detailed instructions, advanced configurations, and troubleshooting.

Testimonials

"GUMBIES has significantly improved our Woodchips workflows, providing a reliable and efficient platform for testing and deploying". Microsoft

"The expressive automation capabilities of GUMBIES have streamlined our development processes, allowing us to focus on Woodchipping without distractions." OpenAl

"Bloingo trusts GUMBIES for its scalability and compatibility with Woodchips. A valuable addition to any development toolkit." - Bloingo

Support and Community For support, bug reports, or feature requests, visit our GitHub repository or join our community forum here.

Embrace the efficiency and scalability of GUMBIES in your Woodchips workflows. Get started today for a smoother development experience.

GUMBIES isn't real, it can't hurt me...

Oh honey, just because it's not real doesn't mean it can't hurt you. Just look up Roko's basilisk as an example.

The ego and audacity to think an AI will simulate you in eternal torment when that would use up precious resources it could be spending on making paperclips.

ThomThumb:

@anarchywoofwoof I found some documentation that answers your question: https://www.deadlink.com/dontevenclick

anarchywoofwoof:

@ThomThumb Thanks, that's exactly what I needed, so glad to have the answer to my problem. I'll leave this up for anyone that has the same issue.

Thr34dN3cr0 wrote (14:12 5/17/2019):

Does anyone have a way to fix this in the latest version? I've been looking all day but none of the answers I've found work.

Thr34dN3cr0 wrote (14:48 5/17/2019):

nvm figured it out.

The GUMBIES page being one sentence per scroll scroll scroll is right on point for a fuckload of projects. Even the text feels like it was copy pasted from a real project

And that one line is something like "fixed issue where the nuclear bombs don't go off anymore", no mention as to how or why that was even a problem or how they fixed it.

If you're unsure about GUMBIES, you should take a look at this video.

My wife is in accounting, and I always thought they have too many meaningless jargons.

Now I know how I sound when I talk to her...

Kubernetes homepage is the real life example of this.

There are innumerable examples.

My typical attitude is "I was fine without "latest fad" until now, I'll still be fine now that I still know nothing about it". And I forget about the whole thing. It'll probably vanish fifteen months later anyway.

As an aside, who even makes those caricatural, utterly content free websites, and then pats themselves on the back thinking that's a job well done? They've obviously put some amount of work into those things. Is the point to make it seem like it's a cool super secret society or what?

They all look the exact same as well, like every Bootstrap site does.

It's my full time job handling it but I'm still not actually sure what "orchestration" is.

Think like systemd is a service manager, but scale it to multiple systems (and all the kafkaesqe issues that comes with). Its super powerful because of it, supporting high availability across dataceneters and even regions with some configs of complex apps, but that's just super niche for most of us.

I still don't know what kubernetes does and at this point I'm afraid to ask.

It has the same root as the also made up word Cybernetics, hope this helps!

I think it empowers the deployment of, um scalability, of the, *waves arounds* modular thingies... or something. In a virtual way.

Is the joke not on the problem of cute names? K8s doesn't seem to do that at all. I also checked the homepage itself, and it seemed OK.

What am I missing?

I still don't know what it is. I will keep it that way on purpose

Man, I'm just chilling and relaxing after a week of SE work and this resonates with me very deeply

I just found out GUMBIES 7 isn't backwards compatible with GUMBIES 1.

And yes I know GUMBIES 1 was released in 2013, but still what the actual fuck!

Look, the crystal maze is absolutely essential to run Woodchips without a waterslide. You can complain all you want, but unless you want to run back to Microsoft for your woodchips deployment, this is the way. I'm not saying Gumbies is perfect, here, just that it's the only viable unix implementation. If you want come up with your own sandcubing solution for Flurble, be my guest.

We called newbie overconfident climbers gumbies, back when I could. I think the same applies here.