Is it normal to forget your own age?

antonim@lemmy.dbzer0.com to No Stupid Questions@lemmy.world – 273 points –

I'm still in my 20s, but as of a few years ago I started forgetting what's my exact age. I always have to stop and recalculate it each time someone asks me. I get asked fairly infrequently, but when I do it's a bit weird/embarrassing that I have to say "wait, let me calculate". (I know when I was born, of course.)

It seems as if there's no good reason I'd remember it, since it changes all the time and it is rarely mentioned in practice. But others, including people much older than myself, know their own age immediately.

I'm also terrible at remembering people's names, I don't know if that could be related?

93

My birthday never changes, but my age changes every year. I forget it for like 9 months of the year.

I have an august birthday and I keep forgetting sometimes until like January or something of next year then I just go have another and the cycle repeats

I did and I don't even know how long I was wrong or when I lost track. I thought I was 27. I signed up for some forum and put in my birthday on my profile and it automatically put my age on my bio. I was like 'lol stupid website that's wrong' then I did the math and realized that I was the stupid website that was wrong.

This is normal. As a kid, you're asked about your age much more often, and you're often thinking about it as you look forward to hitting milestones - reaching a certain grade, your next birthday, legal age for driving, voting, drinking, and so on. Once you're in your mid to late 20s it starts to matter a lot less, and people tend to have to do math, or if you're like me, just ask your spouse.

Normal once you enter adulthood. In your childhood and teen years there are lots of things that change about your life on your birthday (drinking age, age of majority, being allowed to drive a car, etc), no longer a thing in adulthood unless you want to run for president or something like that.

The especially incompetent (like me) managed in their teens too...

Not unusual at all. Everyone I know does this. Nothing wrong with you it’s just that age (and birthdays) becomes less important. Also once past a certain age you actively want to forget that you’re old, so you need to consciously think about it.

But don’t worry, once you get into your 80s it becomes a badge of honour and the older you get the more you’ll think about it.

once you get into your 80s

Thank you for being so optimistic :)

Normal.

I spend th3 first half of being 35, being 36.

I was never 35. Thought I was 36 until my 36th birthday when I realized I had been wrong for the previous year.

Now I'm curious, what age were you before you thought you turned 36?

I thought I turned 36 on my 35th birthday, so i imagine towards the end of being 34 I must have forgotten my age

As someone with adhd it's completely normal for me. When you're a kid you have good reason to keep track of your age because at that time of your life you change dramatically between ages as you develop as a person, plus it's important when asserting your identity to other as that too develops. When we're older it's just a number that only comes up once a year and is not that much different from the previous number, and so it's easier to lose track of especially for people who have an affected working memory and time blindness like me. Idk if you have adhd or how often people without adhd experience this sort of thing but I can speak for my own experience. I forget how old I am, and other people's names, all the damn time lol.

I have ADHD too. Most of the time I recalculate my age based on my BF's that I usually have an easier time remembering.

Yes,I have had to do math. It doesn't really matter.

I've been getting it wrong since I was around 23. It's often a case of "hang on, am I 23 or 24?" where I'm off by one year. It was easier during university because I knew of my peers' ages and that made my age mean something relative to them. Now, age doesn't come up regularly at all, so I'm more likely to forget and have to work it out as you describe

You're not alone, I started not really remembering around that time too... Birthdays just weren't a big deal anymore and there was so little call to bring it up once I was old enough to legally buy alcohol.

Eventually, you get to the point where you'd like to forget, and you may ask yourself, how did I get here?

When nobody, not even yourself, make a big deal about your birthday yeah. Happens to me all the time. I just turned 39, 2 weeks ago and before that I wasn't sure if I was going to be 39 or 40 without doing some math.

No it's not weird, it happened to me at times. It's good that you're not thinking about your age so much that it's so familiar if that makes sense. I don't make a big deal of birthdays and my age isn't a big deal to me.

You'll likely remember better in those years when you hit a 0 though.

People may misunderstand what you're saying too. For me it'd be "wait am I 27 or 28 this year?" And have to do a quick calculation. Not "I can't remember how old I am at all".

I forgot and somehow managed to convince myself I was a year older + told people that age all least year until my SO made me do the math LOL. tbh unless you're talking to the doctor or your date I don't think it really matters after a certain point.

If the question is "am I the only one who ...". The answer is always no.

You're right, but they did ask if it's normal.

Something that only happens to 1 in a million people is not normal, but one of those people asking would not be the only one.

I started losing track in my late 20s, sometimes I would think I was +/-1 my real age. I just checked my age now and I'm one year younger than I thought I was. Woohoo!

Seems a bit early, but yeah, completely normal. As an adult, you no longer put as much stock in birthdays and neither does anyone else. It sucks sometimes, but it’s not important to life, so whatever.

On the other hand, I was watching a documentary the other day and it hit me that I just passed the average life expectancy of that society, so …. Shit

Think of it this way - you beat that society! In a "that society vs you" contest, you're in charge, you're the boss, the head man, the top dog, the big cheese, the head honcho, the number one...

A few months ago I was doing dishes and for some reason thought about my age and I literally couldn't remember if I'd hit 50 yet. Had to do the math to remember I'm 45 and that's quite a ways off. That's an outlier for sure, but yeah I forget.

It just doesn't come up often. There are fewer ands fewer markers. Before your 20s you've got hitting double digits, becoming a teenager, sweet 16, becoming an "adult", then not being a teenager any more. In your 20s you've got becoming an adult again (and maybe being able to drink if 21 is your drinking age), and then maybe saving money on insurance at 25 if that even matters to you. Then nothing. You might demarcate 30, but nothing really changes. In many senses now it's "just a number" and the individual increments fail to matter. There's no differential reinforcement to remembering where you are on the number line.

I thought I was 43 for probably close to a year, and even told everyone that asked I was until I had to get my own health insurance and found out I was actually 44.

It's pretty common. Some rock band even made a song about it what's my age again

I mean, it's not really about how he forgets, it's about not acting like an "adult" in your twenties.

Yeah, but that's not really too dissimilar to what op's talking about, right? Looking back like things were better or acting the way when things were better...

No. OP is talking about literally forgetting, like, "I'm 33, oh wait no, 34."

Blink 182 knew, they just didn't care.

Started for me at 21. Also terrible with names, but I've never thought of that being related.

I had a birthday and thought I was 28 for about 6 months, until my younger brother had a birthday and said that he was 27. I know that I am 2 years older than him, so I said that he had made a mistake.

It turns out that I had my own age wrong for those 6 months.

I do this all the time. I'm 28 and about to be 29 next month, but I have to think about it to be absolutely certain. When I was less than 21, though, I could tell you my exact age, whenever you asked, no problem.

For me it was after 30 (the pandemic didn’t help). It also doesn’t help being stuck in a perpetual rut of vaguely late 20s lifestyle due to how fucked the housing market is and how stagnant wages are.

I was 33 for almost 2 years. Covid did a number on my interpretation of time..

I went from saying 20 something to saying 30 something and I'll brobably keep it up each decade but after 50 I'll just say old. Actually I already say old more often then not.

It's more important how you feel. so if you can keep up with the 30-somethings in your 50-somethings, might as well not rub it in, right?

I always have to do the math to figure out my age.

Mostly because I dont celebrate birthdays or make any fuss about growing ever more one day closer to death.

I've been forgetting my age since I was like 13 of 14, age is quite pointless in the terms of things, I consistently need to think about it when I say my age lol, it makes my coworkers give a second glance

If you are using a piece of knowledge rarely, it is less likely to remember it.

It doesn't matter whether it's some word from a foreign language you are trying to learn, a math formula or names and birthdays, even your own, or whatever.

I'm also terrible with names. But then again, I rarely use them. I even tend to forget my own birthday and would miss it if there weren't people around me reminding me of it.

If other people know their age and birthday immediatly, that's probably because they are regularly thinking about it. For names it is therefore helpful to use the name of persons you just got acquainted with very often in conversations with them.

I've gotten a funny look from the security attendant at the casino when I took a few seconds to answer my age when he was looking at my ID.

Lifehack: when someone asks your age, just reply "I was born in 2001"

Let them calculate

This is great if ur born januari maybe but if someone told me “oh so you’re 30” when I say 1994, I wil jump ||I have been advised not to finish this||

The only reason I remember that I'm 64 is that I will be 65 on my next birthday. That's kind of a milestone for a number of reasons and it's easy to remember. The same was true when I was about to turn 50. Other than that, anything after 30 is kind of blurry

I knew my exact age at all times between 4 and 18. Or maybe even 19. Afterwards I always needed to calculate. And it became less and less important.

It's probably normal to forget. I am probably the odd one in that I'm always very aware of my age and I'm almost 40. I'm also acutely aware of the ages of people around me, and (very mildly) uncomfortable if I don't know someone's age.

That is pretty odd tbh.

I agree, but I think I understand why I do it.

TL:DR Maladaptive behavior that is however ultimately harmless since I don't bother people.

I was a "gifted child"; was always like 2 school years ahead, started uni at 15 and every single person I met would praise me for being the youngest. I was immature so it got to my head. I also have always looked much younger than I am, which also invites comments. Finally, I also have AuDHD and I'm constantly anxious about not acting my age and being too immature. So I try to look at other people's ages to guide me in how I'm supposed to behave.

All of this is maladaptive and I've gotten a lot better with time, and I'm still working on it, but I'm not particularly bothered about the actual fact of having an interest in people's ages. I make sure I don't ask them about it or bother them about it, but many just offer this information on their own.

That explains it then. I was going to ask if something happened when you were younger to trigger it.

After 40 it no longer really matters. Old people or people your age don't like talking about our age because it reminds us that we're at the back end of life. And young people just automatically look at us like we're old .... because we are!

Whenever someone asks me now, I just tell them I don't know. And if they insist, I give them a number anywhere from 45 to 49. And once I reach 50, I'll just tell people I'm old and not to bother me about it.

Without doing the math I honestly can't tell you if I'm 36 or 37 right now. In my 20s I could keep it straight, but I've been losing track ever since I turned 30. Now will somebody please bring me my blanket and some applesauce? I'm cold and hungry and don't recognize my surroundings.

i forget all kinds of things i don't give a shit about

Don't ask me my age. I can give youy birthdate, I can tell you in intricate detail how the bug bang -by out current knowledge- happened, I can speak 3 languages fluently, but don't ever ask me my age!

I usually have to stop and think about it, not recalculate it but it takes a few seconds for the query to run.

I'm not big on celebrating my birthday, I just kind of check off some milestones

Old enough to drive, vote, drink, rent a car, run for president (not quite there yet, look for me on the 2028 ballot though) get an AARP membership, retire, and then that's pretty much it, then I'll coast the last couple of decades of my life no longer needing to know how old I am.

yes because math. next week it won't be a problem because it will be a milestone multiple of 10 age.

Just wait until the person that reminds you how old you are is no longer there. My mom used to remind me, so I'm somewhere between 30 and 50

I don’t forget, but in my twenties I starts doing this thing where as soon as the calendar turned over I’d start adding the next year even though my birthday isn’t until March.

I'm exactly the same! Nice to know I'm not the only one.

In all seriousness, once you're of age the exact number rarely matters and isn't often used so I'm more surprised people actually remember it.

As an older guy: Yes. I often have to calculate my age. Over time it becomes an arbitrary number.

I wouldn't say I frequently forget my age, but it happens. It's only worrying if you can't calculate it on demand. For what it's worth, after your late 20's or so you're basically the same person mentally and what changes are details like how much a day spent working in an office chair screws up your neck and back.

Soon after a birthday I sometimes forget it has passed and say my old age

It's like writing the wrong date when a new year has begun.

I think I was about 23 when I started to have to stop and calculate my age whenever it came up.

Do you forget other stuff? Would you prefer to offload the mental effort of remembering and just calculate it when it comes up? Maybe look into ADHD.

I am somewhat forgettable in general, I guess. Or just disorganised. But I don't think remembering such a thing is any sort of mental effort, surely people memorise it spontaneously?

I would say I started having to think about my age after I was 25 or so, so I would say that’s normal. The only ones I don’t think about are the decade ones since those are easy enough to calculate lol

I occasionally forget mine, too, but I was fortunate in that I was born in 1970, so it's really easy to calculate it on the fly.

I forget my own age sometimes and I’ve only just started my own life journey. I think it’s completely normal tbh so I wouldn’t worry too much about it!

In your younger years, you have a lot more to look forward to that's tied to your age: first decade,, teen years, driving, getting a job, voting, making your own decisions, second decade, and drinking age. After that, the only things that are still age locked are at 25 when you can rent a car and your insurance goes down, the other decades, and legal age requirements for reaching certain political offices. There just isn't much else to look forward to at a specific age, so it's not as important for your brain to remember.

Misremembering people's names is not related to the age. A chunk of the population is really great at remembering names and another chunk remembers faces better. I'm more of a face person, I will most likely recognize you, but might not remember your name.

My guess is it depends on how important it is to you. I have forgotten mine basically every time I am ever asked.

I recite my birthday a lot because of all the times I go to an anticoagulation clinic, but I never can remember my age and have to stop and count for a moment. It makes me feel kinda dumb, but it's just something I don't think about too often.

Every year after 40, I've been surprised at some point that I'm not 40 anymore

Not unusual at all.

Age, height, weight. Forget them all the time because they're not much use day to day

Totally normal. 21 was your last milestone, 22 was your first year of “I’m older than 21.” Everything after that will be fuzzy except for the decade milestones and maybe the half decade ones.

21 was your last milestone,

I'm not American, so not even that, actually. I guess 20 was sort of a milestone, but only symbolically, entering my third decade of life...

Ima go with no. It's not normal. At least not in your 20's. I'm over 40 and still remember my age. It definitely becomes less important, but I haven't ever "forgot".

At one point or the other you have to start actively forgetting it - which, as it turns out, I'm quite good at. Unfortunately, a whole bunch of people show up once a year to undo all my effort.

Growing old sucks.

After 21, the only age milestones are reminders of how much closer to inevitable death you are. It's good to forget.