This is an apology, I hope whatever healthy thing you do brings you some joy in these dark times.

OttoVonNoob@lemmy.ca to 196@lemmy.blahaj.zone – 677 points –

Things can be tough, let people enjoy the things they enjoy. It brightens there day as long as there healthy.

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Good for you that you think that way :). Fuck that show though. I can't stand the unfunnyness and misogyny in it

Problem is the misogyny (and racism, and queerphobia, and ableism and so on) in it doesn't stop when the show ends, it makes the people watching think it's ok, or worse - funny, normalising it. Hell, even this post is defining it as "healthy", which is so fucked up, because who exactly is that content "healthy" for?

So while I'm all for letting people enjoy what they enjoy, doing so uncritically, and/or refusing to hear when people tell you that something you enjoy is harmful to others (which misogyny, racism, queerphobia, ableism, and so on normalised in the media are) is when you go from "enjoying" to "supporting" and even "actively contributing", no longer "harmlessly" enjoying something, and I will judge you for that (edit to clarify: we all consume harmful trash entertainment, it's unavoidable, it's about acknowledging that it's harmful trash and not buying in to it, rather than insisting it's "healthy" or "harmless" despite all evidence to the contrary)

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Watch out for the misogyny though. I haven't seen much myself to judge, but this video essay makes a pretty good case. Just be careful.

https://youtu.be/X3-hOigoxHs

Basically the entire show boils down to "they're bigots but it's funny because they are nerds who are supposedly also oppressed by society"

You could "prove" any long running show is misogynistic or racist by combing through it and taking things out of context.

You really should be more be careful of youtube videos. Many of them just invent controversy for clicks. A silly TV sitcom is far less likely to propagandize you than a youtube video.

It seemed from the video that they were including the context. Do you counter examples of how bbt especially respects women? Or mitigating context for the examples in the video?

Several other people here mentioned the same thing. You'll need to provide some examples to show your point.

Since it's apparently fine to demand things from strangers on the internet, you will need to provide me payment for the research you're asking me to do to provide you with these examples.

Or not. You can go on living your life believing whatever random video pops up on your youtube recommended list without ever questioning it. Why would you think I should care if you believe in weird shit? The onus on you to question the content you get on the internet, not on other people to debunk every single video an algorithm shoves in your face.

I'm just saying to believe you you need to provide evidence. I'm much less likely to believe a relatively low effort comment than a well produced video essay.

I did question the content of the video. I hadn't seen much the channel, so I was skeptical. But the examples they gave were convincing, the comments reaffirmed what was being said, and it lined up with what I remembered about the show. There are certainly sensational YouTube channels with click bate that thrive on controversy. But the tone of this channel seemed very different from those, very academic and professional.

Do you think I should just give the show the benefit of the doubt because it's on TV rather than YouTube? I don't.

Why do you give youtube the benefit of the doubt? You believe youtube to be a reliable source of information?

BBT is a popular TV show, I'm certain you are capable of finding it on a streaming service somewhere. If not there is the possibility of pirating it. You are capable of watching the show yourself to verify the claims coming from youtube. Or you could trust people who have seen enough episodes that tell you the youtbue video is false.

Or you can go on being a "I did my own research on youtube" type of person. I'm not your mom, do what you want to do.

I gave neither the benefit of the doubt. The argument won me over with convincing evidence from the show. I have absolutely no interest in watching sitcoms, especially probably one of the worst.

Also, you admitted the first season was misogynistic. Even if the latter ones weren't as much, or even at all, wouldn't the warning against the show still be valid?

You didn't watch the video did you?

Pop Culture Detective is a channel with videos that take months for him to painstakingly write and produce. They are not lazy cherry picked videos for clicks and likes. He is a very intelligent, thoughtful, thought provoking, detailed, kind, and well read man who cares a lot about the way we portray many toxic attitudes in video media, and in particular, toxic masculinity.

The writing of BBT is far more lazy and unintelligent than the videos made by Pop Culture Detective. He cares about context, and he cares about accuracy.

Did you watch the entirety of BBT?

I'll watch your video after you've watch BBT an analyzed it yourself. Otherwise what's the point of discussing anything with you rather than whoever made the video you linked?

I haven't watched the entirely of BBT, but I've seen enough episodes to know the thesis of the video that you're repeating (without doing any verification yourself) is false.

Are you paid by the person that made the video? Why do you feel the need to defend something that's discussing something you're unfamiliar with? We aren't talking about some arcane secret scrolls that are locked away under guard that only a few are allowed to view. It's a popular TV show that you could watch yourself to check whether the video is correct. Why won't you do this? Why do you trust a random youtube video that has a profit motive in promoting a false narrative over people that have actually looked at the source material under discussion?

Why do you feel the need to defend something that's discussing something you're unfamiliar with?

Because it's harmful. The whole question is whether you should watch it, and the answer seems to be no. Why would I dedicate tens of hours of my life just to be able to say with complete confidence that you shouldn't watch it? I'm okay only dedicating half an hour for medium confidence that you shouldn't watch it, or at least you should be careful about it's misogynistic messaging.

Why the fuck would I spend like a hundred hours to a show that I already know is objectively bad? I'm gonna actually die one day, I'm not wasting my life on a shitty show I already know I don't like based off the two episodes I have seen because someone on the internet is butthurt that people are pointing out their fav show is misogynistic, homophobic, and shitty.

You want to know who watched it in it's entirety though? Pop culture detective, 3 times.

My father in law said the same thing about Rush Limbaugh after he died. He said that Rush had a good heart and people were just using cherry picked examples of his bad behavior. The problem is that it's just such casual misogyny and the constant portrayal by media that nerds must be given a chance with attractive women despite any flaws the nerd has or lack of attraction to the nerd.

Yeah and Bill Maher said Justin Trudeau was a dictator because he called some protesters disgusting. He left out the part where the particular protesters he was referring to had Swastika flags.

So would you say the Bill Maher took Trudeau's words out of context? If so you're no different from your father in law. Therefore you're a fan of Rush Limbaugh!

See how easy it is to take things out of context and use specious logic to form a narrative about anything?

This is why critical thinking is important. The point Justin Trudeau was making was the Nazis are disgusting, therefore Bill Maher was taking things out of context. The point of Rush Limbaugh was right wing grifting, so him saying shitty things isn't out of context.

Applying even more critical thinking, how are fictional stories different from political commentators? Stories often have character arcs where a character starts out as being wrong, they learn something, improve themselves and are no longer wrong. So you can easily make many stories appear to bad in a political context by giving examples from the earlier part of a story (where the character was wrong) and leave out the part of the story where the character learned they were wrong and why.

Political critiques of works of fiction are fertile grounds for grifters to create false narratives. They should always be taken with a grain of salt. Did you see Ben Shapiro's critique of the Barbie Movie? Really convincing if you never saw the movie.

I haven't watch all of BBT but I've seen enough that I can tell you that in the beginning they were losers with misogynistic tendencies. Women are disgusted by them and rightfully so. Over the course of the show they learn to respect women and because of this they are able to form healthy relationships. Yup, you can pick out examples of misogyny, but how do you tell a story about misogyny being bad if you cannot portray misogynistic tendencies out of fear of "video essays" taking it out of context to create a false narrative?

I haven't watched the video yet, but it always strikes me as odd when people call this show as a whole misogynistic.

The first season definitely was though, but the other 9 seasons constantly made fun of the male "nerds" and depicted the women as superior in almost every joke.

You should watch it

As I expected, a lot of the scenes where from Season 1 and/or taken out of context.

After watching the video I'd still argue that calling a show misogynistic that has has 90% misandristic jokes and 10% misogynistic jokes is misleading at best. Yes the show definitely has misogynistic jokes in it, but singling out that aspect of such a train wreck of a show only harms any real discussion about the topic.

Nah, this show is terrible and if you disagree I'm not so sure you deserve happiness.

Who hurt you

Oh, stop. It's a sexist, homophobic, unfunny shit pile.

The show writers by helping to perpetuate ableism, mysogany, transphobia, etc...

To be fair, every corporate enterprise I engage with by any terms regards me as an antagonist it must catch and parastize and engages routinely in dark patterns to trick me into its barbed snares.

A better question is, who doesn't hurt you?

It's a shorter list.

nah im a certified hater

I am neutral on the show. I don't hate it, nor do I love it. can you explain to me what's so bad about it? it seems like a generally unremarkable show to me

The thing that always put me off on it is it's effectively a "nerd culture" show aimed at making fun of extremely over the top caricatures of nerds.

Many shows age with characters being overly exaggerated versions of themselves. This is called flanderization.

Right but it was seemingly that way from the start, like the whole concept of the show.

There is nothing particularly bad about it. It triggers Reddit-type people because it's a show about nerds where every joke is "haha, he's a nerd!".

yeah I did my own research on it (I clicked two YouTube videos) in the 3 hours since I posted that and now I kinda hate it for mysogeny and transphobia lol but I can kinda see the "haha, he's a nerd" hate too lol but tbh besides the transphobia and mysogeny I think it's a fine show tbh would put it on as something less painful to watch than the news when hanging out with my parents

Where's the misogyny and transphobia?

I'm not sure I'd call the whole show transphobic, however I only remember two or three times they mentioned transgender people on the show and it was always in a bad context.

One time Sheldon and Leonard were discussing how Penny was an improvement in almost every way over the previous tenant next door who was a tall muscular black transsexual (that's the word they used). Another time Howard told a story where he hooked up with someone only to find out that they were a pre-op transsexual, which got him an "Oooohh" of pity from the audience/laugh track.

Not sure about the transphobia, but it is definitely on the sexist side. The whole premise starts out with dumb hot girl being hounded by smart inept nerd and friends. This of course continues in various ways and lets not forget Howard.

I do wonder though, this was pretty much the point of the comedy. Shining a light on stuff like that.

Most older shows don't perform well with more current ideals in mind. Media should be viewed in the context of its time and people were generally less aware of how harmful certain portrayals could be.

I wouldn't define it as safe and happy when it's full of toxic masculinity.

It's a show for bullies. To enjoy laughing at caricatures of people people they never respected or understood.

Exactly this. It's a hateful, spiteful show about everyone making fun of geek culture. I have always despised it and will continue to despise it. It's not "safe", it's not okay, it's nothing. Fuck everyone for making that shit show a thing and continuing the hatred and mockery that geek culture has had since I was young years and years and years ago.

So full of it. The show definitely became aware of it nearer the end of the shows run but it was too little too late.

I know this will sound pretentious as fuck, but as someone who got a physics degree and knows some shit, BBT drives me fucking nuts with its relentless pandering. Nerd culture isn't even nerdy anymore since being a nerd implies being some kind of outcast. When the outcasts become the majority, they're no longer outcast.

Gimme old Star Trek episodes for comfort TV any day.

As someone who got a physics degree and knows some shit, the first couple seasons are not too bad. The physics/math jokes are mostly fairly accurate, and those shows happened as nerd culture was getting mainstreamed. The first Avengers movie were several years away. I can't really say whether the series had a part in this mainstreaming, but at the least it was in the Zeitgeist.

I grew up in the north Italian province. Being a nerd didn't make you an outcast, but definitely an odd one.

The first couple seasons came out while I was doing my bachelor (i.e. the equivalent of undergrad) and with its caricature of some quirks I could recognize in many of my friends and colleagues, it made me feel at least acknowledged.

Then it got progressively worse as they kept looking for more and more ways to drag it on, lost those qualities I found positive, and I really gave up not too long after that.

Edit: I still need to point out that Star Trek TNG is peak comfort TV, together with maybe The West Wing or some Doctor Who.

Glad someone said it.

Season one or two are actually pretty decent. As the show continued, it doubled down on the minor stereotypical qualities of each character and made that feature their entire personality. It's a pretty normal outcome for any television show, particular across comedy and sitcoms, when the qualities in question are "has autism/aspbergers" and "doesn't know how to treat people like they're human", it quickly becomes a show focused on punching down. Before long, the plot breaks down to the more socially competent characters "fixing" nerds and nerd culture as it continually reinforces the stereotypes that the first couple seasons, sure, poked fun at, but in equal measure challenged the validity of.

At some point the show stopped being a comedy about nerd culture and shifted to actively mocking, not even nerd culture, but the entire culture around academics and intellectualism. It shifted to bullying, validated on your television screen, by showing you time and time again how horrible these socially awkward nerds are, and how difficult they make life for others.

And after all that it is full circle back into no, they didn't challenge the validity, they abused the tropes so s thoroughly that it became known as one of the worst shows in history

I'm honestly not sure what season of the show I've seen. I've only seen bits and pieces of an episode or two. Maybe it was a positive thing early on, and I think it could be a better show if it were a little more earnest, but the little exposure I had to it was decidedly negative.

Nerd does not imply outcast. It simply means someone who is obsessed with subject matter. Nerd culture is definitely nerdy and never won't be.

Despite the show's embarrassing cartoonish portrayal of nerds it isn't miles from reality.

My problem with every bit of it that I've seen, is that they try to make their characters every type of nerd all at once. That's not how it works. People are obsessed with a couple niche things, they are nerds about their little area. All the characters on BBT are into, like, everything that non nerd people find nerdy. It's absurd. No one is like that.

And from what I've seen, it has a tone of laughing at nerds, not laughing with them. Maybe that changes from season to season, but what I saw was enough. Just a very grating show to watch that feels like it was made for people who have that one nerdy niece or nephew that they don't really understand but hey, this must be what they're like with their friends!

Nerd does not imply outcast.

Hmm. I guess it does not. But the show (at least occasionally,I haven't seen much of it) implies the nerdy folks are ostracized from the more "normal" ones when they make some quip that no one but them (and the audience obviously) understand. Though, I suppose that could also be because Sheldon is an immense prick as well as a nerd. Something else that does not endear me to the show.

Perhaps, but for older nerds like me, that outcast experience is an essential part of nerd identity.

Younger nerds and geeks, who are now embraced, never went through that shit, and have in my mind a fucked up perspective on what it means to be one.

I'm an older nerd. Thank fuck nerds can just enjoy things now. Frankly, if you think nerds need to go through being ostracised, I think you have a fucked up perspective.

Perhaps closer than Revenge of the Nerds was...

Literal rape scene in that movie framed as romantic, lol. That movie is a trash fire.

As someone who lived with people who fetishized intelligence and used it as an excuse for toxic behavior the show is an uncomfortable reminder of that period in my life. Not just because of the characters themselves but due to the people I knew back then that would watch it

The problem with BBT was making a stereotype caricature out of being a need or having aspergers, and then assholes get to call you Sheldon cause they think they're funny.

No, the problem is how misogynistic Leonard is but they portray him as an adorkable guy to be loved.

I had no issue with this show for a while until someone pointed out how overtly perverted many of the main cast are. The laugh track and 'adorkable' aspect really throw you off, but once you see it...

Use a picture of Larry David, a person who created TWO hilarious comedy shows, to promote a garbage sitcom? Nah.

Me then: BBT is trash

Me now: still trash, like, it was always really bad. You're allowed to like trash. I encourage you to like trash. If you learn to love trash then the world is full of wonders. But we're not gonna pretend it's good out of some sense of politeness.

Thank you. So many people recommend it to me because "I'm a computer guy" and I've never made it more than 5 mins. It's awful.

Boy you could have chosen any other example, hahaha.

No it's perfect. That way if you like some other show and are worried you'll be judged about it now you can think "well at least it isn't the Big Bang Theory"

Ah, solid take. "Well, if he's saying this could apply to the Big bang theory, then of course it forgives my black sheep media."

Haha, fair point

2 and a half men?

I have never watched an episode and assumed I was in the right? But I know they made that funny meme where Charlie Sheen says. If it's important than you wouldn't have forgotten it, and that is a joke, which is a phenomenon I don't think I've ever heard of or seen from the big bang theory

I read this as "2 and a half mom" and now I want to see that show.

You know a show is trash when a character saying some jargon is somehow a laugh line

Then watch Parcs and Rec. Or Scrubs. Or even Friands.

Seinfeld

Seinfeld is just horribly unfunny, maybe it’s just because it’s so old it’s not relatable anymore. Or maybe it’s because Seinfeld is a pervert that rapes teenagers, idk.

Oh shit is it really that bad? I only watched like the first couple of episodes a while back and they were alright. Definitely liked it more than bbt tho

Seinfeld is hilarious.

It was just so popular and unique that everything after it tried to do the same thing and we all got used to seeing this type of humor everywhere. There is a whole TV Tropes page about this called Seinfeld is unfunny.

It's still funny though. If you just pick up a random episode halfway through, you probably won't find each moment-to-moment interaction to be side-splitting. However, if you know the characters, you're just waiting to see which petty societal norm is going to turn into a whole ordeal - like George and Jerry disagreeing about whether moviegoers should pick up their own trash after a movie showing or something. Of course, the hilarious part is when George inevitably loses the perfect relationship with a beautiful woman because her father worked as a movie-theater cleaner and was never home for his family due to inconsiderate movie goers. He leaves his junior mints on the ground, she storms out, and we see Kramer walking into the movie theater with a metal detector as he scours the floor for valuable trash as part of his new side hustle.

It's not a real episode but that's basically the formula and it just works. You are waiting to see how shitty and petty they can be while living up to your expectations of them as characters. You know they never learn a life lesson or gain any true moral clarity. Oh, and my wife especially loves that they frequently do little gags and call backs to previous episodes.

Lol that really sounded like a real episode, you should just do a modern remake dude

The show itself is just meh, it’s so old it’s not relatable anymore and I didn’t consider it funny in the 90s even. Seinfeld is a perv irl though, he was dating a literal teenager when he was like 40 and nothing really came of it.

I've lost count of how many times I've rewatched Scrubs. Such a great show!

IMO BBT is just nerd mockery dressed up like nerd humor.

It's bullying. It's people who aren't like me and my friends going "this is you. this is what you're like." It's satire without love for the thing it's satirizing.

You know what, that's exactly how I feel about it. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but that sums up my feelings about that show precisely.

As long as you remember that Sheldon is a sociopath and not autistic, it's fine.

At the start of the show, he could have been autistic too…

"These aren't real nerds! They make us all look dumb!"

Other than Sheldon's quirks, I've always felt like the characters were just like my friends and I and this sentiment that permeated Reddit always just felt like people who very much are like Sheldon were the ones taking the most offense at the show.

Bazinga!

Later seasons really flanderized some aspects of the characters, but I always fondly remember one scene where The Gang is assembling a new TV stand for Penny's apartment and someone questions the airflow it offers. So they immediately start designing a water-cooling system for her TV.

I know people like that. I am people like that.

Your friends are sexist homophobes?

While they have done some pretty unsavory things involving Penny being the butt of many jokes that border on sexist, I can't think of a single example of homophobia from the show.

That's kinda surprising. The trans episodes are usually a double whammy on trans and homophobia

This reeks of projection. You can’t dislike this thing I like if you do you are like that weird guy that is sexist on the show you don’t like!!! You sir sound like Sheldon.

It's still trash, but some people like trash I guess.

Before I enjoy my next guilty pleasure song, show, whatever, I'll try to remember this and think to myself:

Time to commune with my inner raccoon.

'We do quirky things in a self-awareness vacuum that violate societal norms in a hilarious way that somehow doesn't result in crushing depression and isolation'

Live and let live man. I don't care what everyone does in their own time, have fun, live your life and be happy.

Where I have a problem is when someone forces me to do something. You NEED me to watch this show? No. Watch it in your own time.

To be fair, I have this attitude regarding those friends who drink, smoke or try to kill themselves with fentanyl.

This world drives us to terrible, monstrous copes, and better these than fascist pogroms.

Nah, I can't stand people destroying their lifes with drugs when they have people they have to take care. My father was a fucking addict and he ruined my childhood because of it

I get it. When someone's a caregiver like a parent or a personal assistant they need the capacity to be responsible and give care. So if someone has to rely on harsh coping mechanism like booze or cannabis to the point it impairs their ability to give care, maybe they have too much responsibility.

So when we have a society in which 80% of the population live in precarity, I suspect that means there's more of us who need care (e.g. kids) than there are caregivers. Also people don't get points (money) for parenting, which means it's not regarded by a capitalist system as an essential responsibility. All our adults are expected to work full time which leaves them too exhausted to parent (or, for that matter, spend energy engaging in civic activity).

Both of my parents were heavy drinkers, and I suffered for it. But the attitude at the time (1970s-1980s) that each household was responsible for how they managed their kids, and any symptoms of abuse (sounds of violence, kids exhibiting dysfunctional) were willfully ignored. It's an intergenerational problem that perpetuates mental illness.

But those people I know who overused their various chemical copes didn't have kids, and often were disabled enough to question whether they could manage their own lives. (Adults needing caregivers are also underserved, and are not covered by healthcare programs.) So it's much like living in a post apocalypse where society doesn't really work anymore.

Reading thru the thread ... Only thing I can say is, I don't like Friends. Cool if you do though. Can't watch Seinfeld anymore. Didn't age well as I aged. Again, just me. Cool if you do.

Get you your joy as long as it harms no one else.

Yeah, I don’t mind people enjoying whatever they’re enjoying. But BBT is a trash show and I’ll never watch it and whatever trash comes out of it like what Young Sheldon crapshoot. No offense to the actors themselves. They’re probably nice people. I hope the show runners get head lice. Daily.

I also wouldn't mind if certain people in my life could go a single day without something "reminding them of Big Bang Theory." I've probably sat through more "Then Bernadette said" than the actual runtime of the cunting show by now, and thus I have deep antipathy for the entire project.

I also recommend new girl, it was my comfort show after a really bad breakup, that show kept me sane.

Learn to love trash. Everything gets so much brighter when you do

How do you turn off the part of your brain that says "fuck you for thinking I'd find that funny?"

I wouldn't recommend hard drugs and chronic traumatic encephalopathy to anyone but they've done me wonders

God people in the comments can't enjoy shit in life.

I still think the episode where Sheldon eats the couch is one of the besides episodes of a TV show I've ever seen.