Canadian rule

Stamets@lemmy.world to 196@lemmy.blahaj.zone – 523 points –
117

Unfortunately my arsehole doesn't take kindly to being bothered unlubed.

Pro tip, get some solid coconit oil, melt it into ice cube trays, and wait for it to solidify again. Then, all you have to do is pop a cube in and wait a few minutes for your body heat to melt it and you're good to go

Instructions unclear, put ice cold coconut oil up my keester

I think you accidentally followed the instructions correctly.

I think the intent is to leave the ice cube tray at room temp

Ah, boring.

I mean, you do you. If you're into that sort of thing a cold water enema would probably do the same thing better though

Well now I'm just not sure that's true, and it certainly depends on what you're going for. It stands to reason that cold water in an enema has a lot more surface area and will thus dissipate heat much more quickly than a very cold cube of coconut oil, especially if it's cold in the center.

Plus an enema won't provide lubrication, if that's what is desired.

I just meant from a "I like the sensation of putting cold stuff inside me" standpoint

It freezes at room temp so you can wait for it to freeze out on the counter, or if you're in a hurry use the fridge for extra speed but not freezing temps. Don't need to keep it in the fridge tho

Other than the last step this is great advice. My ex and I used coconut oil and it was great.

So you made coconut-oil ice cubes for sexlube and then never used them? Did I stumble into /r/deadbedrooms?

I just assumed they popped one in their mouth and applied it orally as needed instead.

That is close to the correct answer. I used my tongue, then my hands with the oil.

Nah, you put it in your butt lol

No need for lube shooters, easy way to get a bunch of lube in there easy. Overkill for regular anal but if you're using large/deep toys it's very nice

I meant the person who said they did everything except put it in their butt.

Though now the thought just occurred to me that you can do this with those novelty ice cube trays as well. Bullet shaped ones for easy insertion, skull shaped ones for Halloween, whatever floats your boat.

Ok but w/e you do do NOT use ANY oil with silicone toys. Your (plastic) dick will literally melt.

Coconut oil is fine with platinum cure silicone toys. Silicone based lubes will fuck em up though

Mhmmm, accidental coconut oil coca-cola for the whole family. Don't ask what is up with the ice cube tray.

My circumcised bros, can you really not fap without lotion?

I don't know why people keep saying you need it to do the deed, I've been at it for 20 years without lotion and it's fine

Adding lube or lotion to the equation just makes clean up worse

The smegma gang gets weird fucking ideas sometimes

Imagine being so incapable of washing your penis that you need a bunch of it removed.

This implies we were given a choice

Saying people with foreskins a "smegma gang" is a pretty good indicator that one doesn't wash properly and assumes that others don't either.

So OP doesn't know how to masturbate properly and needs lotion because they chafe?

Huh?

OP's meme was about (circumcised, presumably) people needing lotion to masturbate. So they assume circumcised people need lotion to masturbate because they don't know how to do it right themselves and keep chafing, right?

Who says needing lotion means it's being done wrong?

How does that have anything to do with buddy outing himself for not washing his penis?

"Smegma gang" was a dig at "Foreskin gang" in the meme. Which was making fun of circumcised people for "needing" lotion to masturbate.

So if he's outing his dick cheese, then OP is outing themself as chafing in some real sensitive spots.

But OP is saying they don't need lotion. And the comments are also quite mixed on the subject.

I don't think they were talking about circumcised people, rather people who somehow think it's necessary

The only choice that remains is if you'll do it to your children

Imagine being so incapable of washing your penis that you need a bunch of it removed.

They should have said "Imagine being so incapable of washing your child's penis that you need a bunch of it removed."

A child's penis in a dirty diaper could get quite nasty with foreskin if the parents don't wash and change the diaper regularly.

The cleanliness thing is for the lack of parenting. And the parents make that choice.

See?

If you aren’t Jewish that’s probably the justification your parents were given for why they should circumcise you. Not sure how that would be a weird idea.

Not everyone is cut the same

Some get more, and some get less cut off.

Sounds like you were fortunate and got less cut off.

Circumcision is common in US, mentioning lotion with masterbating is common.

Like you said, no one would use lotion unless they had to.

This is getting to some Q levels of cope and rationalization.

Neither is as big of a deal as weird Internet people want to make it out to be.

Personally, I'm glad I had it done as an infant rather than risk needing it done at 13 years old.

Genital mutilation is a big deal

People get angry at piercing infant ears, but somehow cutting off foreskin is normal.

What if we were ripping off infant fingernails?

Studies have shown that a lot of bacteria collect under them, and if we removed the fingernails, kids would get sick less.

Why don't you get your appendix removed as an infant?

You wouldn't want to risk it rupturing as an adult

Foreskin is natural. The likelihood of you needing it removed is slim to none.

Just look at all the other countries that don't circumcise. Are all the adults getting circumcised later in life? No.

The problem is you don't know how good it is to have foreskin. It's like you growing up with no fingernails. You wouldn't know how good fingernails were.

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I used to be able to, but a lifetime of manual labor has laden my hands with callouses that make it HIGHLY unpleasant without some lube

Nah I can do it just fine without, I've only ever used lotion like a few times in my life just to try because it seems like a common thing when you see a reference to "Lotion and Kleenex". I felt like it brought nothing to the experience but an extra mess to clean up

We can. At least most of us. Though I suspect there's significantly less play in the skin, so it may be more difficult for some.

Everyone in this entire thread is saying they're fine. There's just this weird, incel group that storms around the internet from time to time spreading bullshit about circumcision. It's exhausting. Get a life, you douchebags.

Maybe look again? That's literally not true. I think you're maybe projecting a bit there as well. lol

I mean, you're welcome to do a minute of research to find countless studies like this one as well.

Everyone in this entire thread is saying they're fine.

This statement is false.

you're welcome to do a minute of research to find countless

...comments above your own as well

I can. It is definitely not nearly as much fun though. More of a "just get the job done so I can go back to what I was doing".

It depends on how far the doctors went when they removed a part of you without permission or consent. There are levels of skin tightness that some people are on the unfortunate end of, if the doctor took an excessive amount. And in general, there are a huge number of nerves in the foreskin which are significantly more sensitive, so cut members will need more stimulation than they would have, and that can lead to chaffing when attempting to receive the same results as they could have with foreskin.

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I always wondered what happened to all those circumcised foreskins after they're removed. Turns out they formed a gang.

I cannot believe we didn't leave this MRA circumcision bullshit on reddit.

Ya'll care way too much about your fucking dicks

"Genital mutilation doesn't matter because men can't be victims" is what I read there. Get the fuck out of here with that sexist bullshit.

It’s also just completely ignoring the fact that trans women exist. Circumcision can negatively affect bottom surgery outcomes.

Not much of a fan of "men (only) deserve bodily autonomy because trans women exist" either, though.

Wasn’t trying to imply that. I’m a really strong opponent of circumcision no matter who they grow up to be.

And you are reading way too much into a shitpost meme

i do care about my dick

ironic of.you to hate on reddit, being so serious abt stuff like redditors are

I guess need is debatable, but lube makes it better anyway. Why wouldn't you want lube?

More cleanup

Guys normally need a cleanup either way, no?

Eh depends often I jerk it on the toilet so I don't have to clean up at all. And if I feel particularly lazy I can just nut in my foreskin and walk to a toilet and release it into the bowl.

No we are able to aim, like at a strip of TP for example. No mess no cleanup

Imagine having an inferior penis aesthetic 💀

This post was made by the cut gang

At least I'm all natural. Imagine having your body parts cut without actually good reason

No, but for real, I think it's really cool how you all body shame people who didn't have a choice in how their body parts look. Really virtuous, you guys.

In case you can't tell, that was sarcasm you fucking "progressive" losers.

My comment was just untasteful joke about weird healthcare system of usa. I didnt mean to attack against anyone or bodyshame people. It's fucked up how that is done to people at young age without consent

Agreed. And I wasn't just talking about you. There's a lot of distasteful and nasty sentiment in this comment section.

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