What is the best hip hop lyric of all time?

pruwyben@discuss.tchncs.de to Asklemmy@lemmy.ml – 78 points –
130

I’ve always thought this was a pretty good one:

real G's move in silence like lasagna

I don't get it. What is lasagna, here?

The "G" in "Lasagna" is silent

Except it's not really, because it changes how the N is pronounced

Sure, but what does lasagna have to do with being silent?

It’s a metaphor.

The “g” is silent in the pronunciation of lasagna.

This gives the meaning that “real gangsters” operate silently.

OH! Wow did I whoosh myself there. Thanks for the friendly clarification!

They call me the Hiphopopotamus

My lyrics are bottomless

They call me the Hiphopopotamus Flows that glow like phosphorous Popping off the top of this esophagus Rocking this metropolis I’m not a large water-dwelling mammal Where did you get that preposterous hypothesis? Did Steve tell you that perchance?

I like big butts and I cannot lie

Or

when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face you get sprung

Really that whole song is a masterpiece.

But, ya know, who understands those rap guys?

On Doomsday, ever since the womb ‘Til I’m back where my brother went, that’s what my tomb will say

Right above my government; Dumile. Either unmarked or engraved, hey, who’s to say?

-MF Doom, Doomsday

I really love the wordplay with his government name 'Dumile' having a double meaning of 'Doom'll lay'. There are a bunch of other MF Doom lyrics in contention for goat status, in my opinion.

"Lookie here, it's just the way the cookie tear, prepare to get hurt and mangled like Kurt Angle, rookie year." -Great Day

DOOMS lyrics are insane.

I never listen to him myself, but everything I hear of his lyrics are genius on another level, I'm unsure anybody else can really compete, at least not as consistently

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Ice cream scoopin', shittin' poopin', shittin', poopin'

But more seriously, MF DOOM (RIP) is one of my favourite artists, but he's been covered in a few comments already. But one of my favourites from him is:

Getting paid like a biker with the best crank
Spray it like a high-ranked sniper in the West Bank

Head to Bali, smoking cuban cigars, And we fuck up the party like acoustic guitars

"fuck up the party like acoustic guitars" always cracked me up so much.

I don't know if it's the best of all time, but I really enjoy this from Common ('Sixth Sense’):

I start thinking, how many souls hip-hop has affected
How many dead folks this art resurrected
How many nations this culture connected
Who am I to judge one's perspective?
Though some of that shit y'all pop true it, I ain't relating
If I don't like it, I don't like it, that don't mean that I'm hating

Real Gs move in silence like lasagna.

Lil Wayne is a goddamn genius. That whole song, honestly.

Any couplet from Warren G's Regulate.

sixteen in the clip and one in the hole, nate dogg is about to make some bodies turn cold

As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I take a look at my life and realize there's nothing left.

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain

The Drop [Intro] Victor, a stranger to see you Who that? Who that, who that?

[Verse: Viktor Vaughn] If I'm not working or putting work in I'm either wheeling and dealing, or probably jerkin my— Yep—listening to nothing, taking no suggestions Or destructive criticisms, that can't improve on perfection Rock a crowd in sections on a good night, the hoes fight Always get the dough first then everything else goes right At least that's what they say and who the fuck is they? Make a hick say “what the hey?” brought that chick from sick bay Ensign, he shoulda asked his upperclassmen Before he bust blast em, never trust no Cardassians Captain’s log supplemental The Klingons are now aboard the Enterprise rental vessal On my cue, photon torpedo Oh and if I'm not on the block with Jorgito And so on for the street though, smoke a pound of leek though I'm jokin on the fact that hip-hop has gone freakshow Don't let the drama get you In the only genre of music where the fans shoot the messenger Bitch niggas talk behind your back like a catcher Either M-Y-O-B or B-Y-O-stretcher In that order: man, woman, son, daughter The beat sound like they underwater, make it fun to slaughter Even if you hear some wack shit you never give a chance Some shit sound like all you could do off it is river-dance It's not a hobby, don't be sloppy Doing deals with these labels is likened to a botched robbery Nobody supposed to get bodied, golly! This shit is like a folly 'bout to cold flip, probably It's not me, he got ill spills knot in Brooknam Where even though kids kill they still chill and look calm While working on new developments for the book bomb In one bad experiment, it blew and took a hooker arm ("Arm and leg") BOW! look mom, no hand Studied black magic for years out in no man's land It's like a barbecue, all-swine cookout To fuck up they plans like a blind man lookout Cram to overstand it, peep it and absorb it The same way he keep all the planets in they proper orbit Norbit, y'all better off going corporate Nobody wanna hear that bullshit it's too morbid There's no prints, he hold the mic with a mic glove And rolls dolo from state to state like Ike Love Like on top of the world loser keep it gully Rap creeps seem they got too much juice in they belly It's why they brung V he still hungry And spit something thick on the mic like a lungy Mind ya daughter she on line for the water To get lucky like when she find a quarter kinda sorta Remember me God, clean timbs with emery board? He only came to save the game like a memory card Ooh shrewd, a lot of crews is too rude And it's way too many let's not and say we do dudes He said 24-7 I be on call He use his vacation days to watch Babylon fall Numbskulls.. get to stepping they dumb dull And how he rep the mic is like the weapon from Krull Cats be like "what's wrong with your man black?" Biohazard suit and Van Grack for the anthrax Jeez and can't get no peace Form blazin sword for the police robeast Cochise, write a rhyme like a book report And sell it to a rookie you could tell by the hook he bought You ain't know he sell hooks and choruses? They couldn't bang the slang if they looked in thesauruses It's like a friendly game of dodge ball Oddball God y'all, who played the garage wall With the Stan Smith's checkerboard lace And the brand new INF they ain't check the boy waist You saw his face? so who next to get they neck chopped Or popped like a Beck's top, respect the drop It's too much wreck hops Who next to get they neck chopped Or popped like a Beck's top, respect the drop Woopdie-do flows do fifty like a hooptie do Groupie crews try to figure out from what coop he flew They out of place, beats sounds like outer space With no time to waste he was Audi without a trace

And another classic:

Viktor the director flip a script like Rob Reiner The way a lotta dudes rhyme their name should be "knob shiner" For a buck, they'd likely dance the Jig or do the Hucklebuck To Vik it's no big deal, they're just a buncha knuckle-fucks

It drops deep as it does in my breath. I never sleep, cause sleep is the cousin of death.

Picture this I'm a bag of dicks Put me to your lips I am sick I will punch a baby bear in his shit

The first time I crossed this track was with the video.

Masterpiece.

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

video

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

My love is like lightening. It gives girls orgasms. My dick is like an airplane. It gives girls orgasms.

I’m the Wayne Gretzky of sexual stuff I’m the Hulk Hogan of slamming muff

Another favorite of mine from him is:

I'm dangerous, like a fire in a nursing home

I’m the Wayne Gretzky of sexual stuff.
I’m the Hulk Hogan of slamming muff.
I’m the Indiana Jones of exploring crotch.
I’m the Shakespeare of enormous cock.
I’m the Helen Keller of having sex.
No, wait … that’s a bad example.

Why did my penis cross the road?
To get to the other ….
Vagina (what) … vagina (what) …
I want to have sex with your vagina (uhh)
Vagina (what) … vagina (what) …
E=MC Vagina

I’ve got a present for you right here.
Actually, it’s not a present …
It’s my penis and I like to call it The Spear
Cause spears are long and hard, just like my penis!

My dandy voice makes the most anti-choice granny's panties moist

"I take seven kids from columbine, stand'em all in line, add an ak-47 a revolver, a nine, a mac-11 and it'll solve a problem of mine and that's a whole school of bully's shot up all at one time."

So this lyric is notable, not just for being edgy, but also because it was a product of it's time. It was published during the height of tipper gore and hillary clinton trying to appease the "moral majority" by attempting to censor rap music which is called out in the album.

Ultimately the lyric is self-censored because while the artist could have gotten away with it, the label was playing it safe, even though nothing about the lyric would have tripped the moral panic alarm. After all the rapper was white referencing a white event.

You're waxin' your modem, tryin' to make it go faster

Hey fella, I bet you're still livin' in your parents' cellar

Downloadin' pictures of Sarah Michelle Gellar And postin' "Me too!" like some brain-dead AOL-er

I should do the world a favor and cap you like Old Yeller

You're just about as useless as jpegs to Hellen Keller

The fundamental forces were unified

We've no theory to describe that, though I've tried

Then the forces split and the universe was born

It was hotter then a priest watching kiddie porn

Thinkin' of a master plan
'Cuz ain't nuthin' but sweat inside my hand
So I dig into my pocket, all my money is spent
So I dig deeper but still comin' up with lint

What good is takin' over When we know what you gon' do? The only real revolution happens right inside of you

I'm sorry, Puff, but I don't give a fuck
If this chick was my own mother, I'd still fuck her with no rubber
And cum inside her and have a son and a new brother
At the same time and just say that it ain't mine—what's my name?

"Dead in the middle of Little Italy, little did we know that we riddled some middlemen who didn't do diddily."

"Life's not a bitch, life is a beautiful woman. You only call her a bitch 'cause she won't let you get that pussy." - _Daylight_Aesop Rock

Biggie: "Fuck the state pen, fuck hoes at Penn State" or "Now honeys play me close like butter play toast"

Now I play hard like my girl's nipples be

The game sour like a pickle be

"Luda, Jada and Nas // and our bullets give you a deep tissue massage // so here's a song and dance while I make these ends // you never stood half a chance like Siamese Twins."

"England is my city"

or

"Thats an awfully hot coffee pot"

Step up in this motherfucker just a-swingin' my hair.

X gon' give it to ya Fuck waiting for you to get it on your own X gon' deliver to ya Knock knock, open up the door, it's real Wit the non-stop, pop pop of stainless steel

There's an excellent greentext with that as the punchline.

We got the guillotine We got the guillotine, you better run

They got the TV we got the truth;
They own the judges and we got the proof;
We got hella people they got helicopters;
They got the bombs and we got the- we got the-

Have you ever had sex with a pharaoh?

I put that pussy in a sarcophagus

I'll rip a tree out the ground and flip it upside down 'Fore I turn over a new leaf, clown

I was raised in the city...shitty..ever since i was an iddy biddy kiddy drinking liquor out my mama's tiddy.

Honey, check it out you got me mesmerized

With your black hair and fat-ass thighs

I only wish I could find someone someday who will think of such romantic things to say to me...

Maybe I am the ballot in the box / the bullet in the gun / the inner glow that lets you know to call your brother son and really that whole theme song.

“I used to drive a dinger with the dents in, now it’s pearlescent, and the bonnet got the vents in.” - (Bonnet = hood of a car)

Bear witness to the sickest shot while suckers get romantic

They ain't gonna send us campin' like they did my man Fred Hampton

Still we lampin', still clockin' dirt for our sweat

A ballot's dead, so a bullet's what I get

A thousand years they had the tools, we should be takin' 'em

Fuck the G-ride, I want the machines that are makin' 'em

Swagger tighter then a yeast infection
Fly go hard like geese erection
Fashion patrol police detection
I stay tight like Chinese connection

Dr. Carter by Lil Wayne

Canibus has some good ones but this is my fave:

Now if a bitch sucks yo' dick, for five dollars per square inch 
And gets forty dollars, includin' a five dollar tip 
How big was the dick she just sucked? 
(Say what?) 
Say how big was the dick she just sucked? 
(What?)

Can't solve that without the radius or the length

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Plead the fifth, sip wine stiffly

Patiently come up and be spiffy in a jiffy

Gift for the grind, criminal mind shifty

Swift with the nine through a fifty nine fifty

m tryin' to explain, baby the best way I can
I melt in your mouth girl, not in your hands

Amazing reference game

I was riding with a friend who was playing some hip-hop back in early 2000s. This song was sexually explicit and had the line "bitch, eat my babies." As in telling the girl to swallow his load. I can never seem to find the song.

I just met this lil' bitch from Arcadia (oh-woah)
From the planet Nympho, eat my babies up, ooh
Her mothership got missions on my radius (oh-woah)
She captured me and left me in a state of awe, doom
Take me to your universe (yeah)
Take me to a time where everything reversed, ah, ooh
I just got this lil' bitch from Arcadia (oh-woah)
Intertwine ourselves until we facing our moon

Is this it? It's from the song "Arcadia" by the band MDMA.

https://youtu.be/wahxHDZHtAM

Edit: hell it probably isn't it lol based on the time line. It's the only thing that pulled up when I searched online.

You are right. It's not it at all. Think 20 year old music, not music by 20 year olds.

Like watching 1000 lemmings plummet just because the first one slipped

There's smoke on my iris, but I painted a sunny day on the insides of my eyelids.

"All I ever wanted was to pick apart the day and put the pieces back together my way."

This was the lyric that hooked me in '01.

I start to think and then I sink into the paper, like I was ink / when I'm writing I'm trapped in between the lines / I escape - when I finish the rhyme

Alone. Phone's unplugged. Ignoring calls even though no one does.

Used to speak the King's En-ga-lish

But caught a rash on my lips, so now my chat just like dis

I don't fraternize with the ranking file
Ever drop a gasp for a General such as myself
That's sabotage!

"Going up to heaven on an escalator/ Cause they sent you to hell on an escalator"

Or maybe

"I look like a dick in my picture ID/ But also the pic isn't me. Hmm"

“I count lives, all on these songs

Look at the weak and cry, pray one day you'll be strong

Fighting for your rights, even when you're wrong

And hope that at least one of you sing about me when I'm gone”

You think that you can amputate me? I am you, you are me, you are I, I am we We are one, split in two that makes one, so you see You got to kill you if you wanna kill me

I made the change from a common thief

To up close and personal with Robin Leach

And I'm far from cheap, I smoke skunk with my peeps all day Spread love, it's the Brooklyn way

Déjà vu abducting
Sticky psyche touching
So many sensory
Dripping dripping splashing splashing happening
Already
Now, now, Billy, not really

I'm a pimp by blood, not relation,
y'all still chase on, I'll replace on

If you don't recognize that truth and the one who spat it, gtfo this thread you poser ;)

And, perhaps, this lesser known

I rip rappers and take responsibility,
For makin' future hall of famers look third-rate,
Y'all are lost for words like,
Conversation on your worst first-date,
And raw beats creep through side streets,
Loose leaf notepads, that's where rhymes leak,
Punch-lines, man, don't even beg,
I got knee-slapping tracks, y'all cruisin' ya leg,
You a rhyme-writer, buddy? Man, that's a joke,
You ain't worthy of being my secretary,
Man, that's a quote

If you do recognize that, well, you're just as fucking goofy as me, which ain't much, but it's better than nothing. But it's a pretty fucking tight set of lyrics.

Down for the count, get up and dismount

'Cause I'm coming with an endless amount

Of rhymes in a hurry like a flurry

A collage to camouflage the power punch, but don't worry

Knowledge is an antidote, I got hands of smoke

Writing at the speed of light with insight I wrote

Rhymes at a level, so you can't relate

Unless you're intelligent, so stay awake

One of my favorites from Oh Bo by Bo Burnham:
Pull it out, stick it in your mouth, and I bust in the back of ya
Swallow bitch, there's people starving in Africa