Militarized Cybertruck cop cars are coming

Todd Bonzalez@lemm.ee to News@lemmy.world – 298 points – Militarized Cybertruck cop cars are coming
popsci.com

A California company is advertising ‘tactical response’ Tesla Cybertruck upgrades for police cruisers, including shotgun racks and sirens.

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I will laugh my ass off when this thing breaks down and catches on fire during their "tactical response" after someone throws a water bottle at it.

I'm going to laugh my ass off when someone figures out how to track them all in real time, and shares it on a publicly accessible website.

The first casualty of those battery fires is probably going to be someone handcuffed and locked in the back seat.

battery fires are not at all common in electric vehicles. this is propaganda

On this planet, we have a concept called 'humor,' which involves exaggeration and absurdity for the purpose of getting a laugh. I hope this comes to your own world someday.

repeat falsehoods often enough and people believe them, even if you originally mean them as a well-intentioned and obvious joke

Sorry... are people repeating the falsehood that Cybertrucks catch fire if you throw a water bottle at them?

no but they ARE repeating the falsehood about battery fires being likely or common: https://lemmy.world/comment/10496586

(which is something your joke implied)

Or I implied that the Cybertruck is a badly-constructed piece of shit.

you may have INTENDED to imply only that, but you did imply both unfortunately. I agree with you on the cyber truck part, but I deal with a lot of slightly more rural folks and the big fear RN with electric vehicles is somehow battery fires. which is crazy since they don't happen anywhere near as often as gas vehicles. so I'm just trying to say we should be careful to avoid that particular cliche (the battery fire part) since it misleads people

With the all-wheel drive Cybertruck’s current $79,990 price, it stands to reason the combined taxpayer cost for a vehicle and new UP.FIT features could easily top $90,000. <

I'd be pretty upset if my municipality was set to dump 100k on this trash.

if they're anything like the ICE cruisers... they're dropping another shitload in up grades. custom-built gun vaults, as well as other specially-built storage .... first aid, extra handcuffs. leg cuffs. Kiddie cuffs. flex-cuffs. evidence collection. Road safety stuffs. Flashlights. speed radar thingies. rolls of printer paper for citation printers. Cameras. spare uniforms. Condoms for the badgebunnies. extra batteries for radios. extra batteries for flashlights. batteries for cameras. extra uniforms. all sorts of bullshit paperwork and forms that only get filled out when they come a cross a karen. Door breaching and lock out tools

needless to say, cops keep a lot of junk in the trunk. So much so the cop's version of the ford explorer ("Police Interceptor Utility") actually only has a special suspension to handle the extra weight, and 2 rows of seating instead of 3 to accommodate the entirely-custom storage rack.

oh. you thought they were talking about body armor... naw. They get APC's for that.

There is also the extra radio, sirens, lights, and some have built in radar and plate scanning cameras. I'm pretty sure there are extra batteries and a stronger alternator to keep systems powered and ensure engine starts if auxiliary power is drained.

Different crusiers also have different set ups. Some are normal patrol cars while others have K-9 accomadations, shield and extra defensive gear, pursuit intervention tools like spikes and stop sticks. Cops use such a wide variety of tools that one crusier can't fit every tool for every situation.

They've got a cop motor, a 440 cubic inch plant. They've got cop tires, cop suspensions, cop shocks. They're a model made before catalytic converters so they'll run good on regular gas.

Are you a former cop?

sounds like he either worked in ICE or kitted the vehicles.

I think he meant ICE as in 'internal combustion engine' vehicles, because I'm reasonably certain ICE doesn't do evidence collection or write citations with printers. I think ICE also handles karens quite differently.

What else do you expect local governments to spend the opiate settlement money on, rehabilitation?

And you'd have to ask what makes it a good police vehicle. An electric vehicle probably makes Sense, but I'm not sure there's anything else about it that does. Certainly not the price tag.

Idk. Cops can spend all day in their cruisers and blow through tons of fuel/power during a high speed chase. The EV would also have to power all the electronics on the cruiser including lights, sirens, radios, their laptop thing. Battery capacity might not be able to power the cruiser long enough. Especially if the crusier works a day and a night shift with different officers. Last thing a cop wants is back up cannot arrive because they are charging a battery.

You might have misunderstood, but I was saying the fact that it's an EV is the only part that makes sense for a police cruiser (assuming they have enough to rotate them out while charging it can schedule that for breaks). Nothing else about the cyber truck makes sense.

They're gonna waste that money anyway. At least the cybertruck is dangerous enough that a few cops might die as a result.

And can you really put a price on that?

Not sure that's a great idea given that prisoners can simply escape using the gaps in the doors

Worry not. The automatic doors will crush all their fingers and toes first.

Has anyone tried sticking their d*ck in yet? One of these clowns is bound to, if not. I just don't want to miss it.

So another tax payer handout to Musk?

Man, he is THE welfare Queen

OK I hate the guy and this "vehicle" too, but this is a weird take.

Like if they bought Fords or Hyundais or whatever II wouldn't consider it a handout; not getting why this would be?

Well, basically all Elon does derives a ton of money from the government...

The cybertruck is objectively bad, I see no reason that car would be selected for police use which makes me think the "invisible" hand of the market (ahem, lobbying, bribing, etc) was involved

I see no reason that car would be selected

Then shouldn’t your objection be with whoever did the selecting?

I've seen too many times when the people doing the selecting do a good job just to be overridden by the paid-for bureaucrat

But I'm just spitballing here, I have no evidence other than then strong doubt these cars could perform any regular job (they seem to be a poorly planned novelty item)

look they'll do fine as long as they have a fleet of ford pickups to pull them out of mud puddles.

Because they're a notoriously bad design that is prone to failing on every front that Tesla claimed they were the 'cutting edge' on. They're just BAD. The only way Tesla is going to sell out of their production line is by forcing someone to buy them, and it looks like it's the US military.

I wouldn't think the same thing for Ford F150s, but I DEFINITELY would if suddenly we started hearing about police suddenly buying Fisher Price cars after hearing story after story of how they break down and leave toddlers stranded.

I cant wait to see a cop fail to catch some Redneck driving the king of all shitboxes because the cop is driving a cybertruck and its litely drizzling outside.

I feel there's a great intersection of cops and those people who still buy into Elon's bullshit. It couldn't be any other way.

Looking forward to seeing a lot of cops missing fingers

I personally welcome this new fleet of self-igniting cop cars. It's such a time saver!

Any department that actually buys one of these turkeys is going to be very unhappy about the maintenance costs. Can't park under trees, can't let it get rained on, and if you're in a medium-speed accident, the lack of crumple zone will injure your officers at higher rates.

Can't park under trees

Well if we’re being fair, that’s a bad idea for all cop cars. Trees might drop very hostile acorns, forcing the officer to unload his gun.

Trees might drop very hostile acorns

I wish I didn't know exactly to what you referring.

Link for anyone who hadn't heard this ridiculous story:

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/video-shows-florida-deputy-repeatedly-shoot-man-thinking-falling-acorn-rcna138829

I'll just add that both officers were such bad shots that they missed the man handcuffed and strapped down in the back of their own squad car. smdh.

That officer should not have been in that job. He should’ve known his PTSD was too much of an issue.

I still pity him. He heard an acorn hit a car and was convinced he had been shot. Not shot at, shot. He thought he’d been hit by a bullet because an acorn landed on his car. His brain has been fucked by his time in the Army Special Forces.

Fortunately the man being shot at was sitting in a police car. Unlikely they were gonna hit him regardless of aim.

My first thought was that a couple cops are going to get hurt in traffic accidents and then their union is going to point to the increased injury rate as a reason for further militarization

Sweet! Outrunning the cops will be super easy if they start using these pieces of shit!

Bit of background on police cars. Mechanically, they're not made to be especially fast, nor necessarily accelerate very quickly, nor handle particularly well. The police package modifications have more to do with endurance. A cop car isn't going to do 180MPH, but it's going to be able to do 110 for way longer than a regular production vehicle. A alot of that comes down to extra cooling: engine, transmission, power steering. Cop cars have steel wheels because they bend instead of shattering, and you can still drive on a bent wheel that holds air.

Does the Cybertruck scream "reliable and high endurance"?

Police vehicles also need to be generally multipurpose, to carry weapons, first aid, other gear, and detainees as necessary. This means they need to have enough room in the back seat for a partition, and accessible cargo space so that any particular thing can be quickly accessed. I can't speak to the back seat of a Cybertruck, but that silly body line at the front of the bed makes a huge part of its cargo space useless. If you want to access stuff that's up there, you're going to have to climb in the back and crawl over everything, or unload a bunch of shit that's in the way, like me looking for the fucking mayonaisse in my refrigerator after my wife has jammed it way too full of other shit. Maybe a Cybertruck could stand in for a State Police car that runs the interstates instead of a Dodge Charger. Maybe.

Ever noticed how lots of police departments label their cars in very low contrast lettering? That's so they can blend into traffic without being instantly noticeable as a police car. I think it's obvious what I'm pointing out here.

I also don't think that a pure electric vehicle would ever be used for actual police work. Having to stick it on a charger for an hour, at least once a day, takes the vehicle and its driver out of service for much longer than just filling up a gas tank. Yeah, you might be able to coordinate the charging with "paperwork time," but it's still something worth considering.

tl;dr: The Cybertruck is the worst police vehicle any department could ever choose.

All spot on!

Story: Some idiot company is trying to sell these things.

Lemmy: LOL, cops are idiots!

Who says anyone is purchasing this?!

Ever noticed how lots of police departments label their cars in very low contrast lettering? That’s so they can blend into traffic without being instantly noticeable as a police car. I think it’s obvious what I’m pointing out here.

you mean that automatic siren built into the body paneling isn't gonna help them blend in?

Particularly given that the design quality houses a whole slew of critically bad design choices.

Like shock absorber brackets and axel mounts that can't handle simple offroad loads.

I am seriously looking forward to videos of some poor sucker trying to pull a PIT maneuver

In murica... Cops pit themselves.

What?

I’m imagining the cybercop bouncing off the car they meant to pit and flipping/rolling until the cop is skidding on nothing more than a car seat and holding a steering wheel.

Yes, it’s cartoonish.

Surely with their budgets and current level of militarisation, US police departments could afford real APCs/light infantry vehicles rather than this mall-ninja tacticool cosplay garbage.

I'd be more worried if they switched to old white tacomas. switch to persistent car chases. Never speeding, just following along waiting for you to run out of fuel. Oh you going off road? That huge dent on the roof is when it rolled over back in '03. I got 2 jerry cans my partner can pour while still driving.

And so it begins, a billionaire owning the police. Smart move Musk, smart move.

You're gonna be shocked when you learn that the current cop cars are also made by billionaires

I am just sitting here looking at all you people upset about government waste and thinking about the crap I see every day working for a company that is primarily a government contractor. The river of dirty money.

Just this week alone, and this is Thursday, I told a state employee PE that his spec calls for a part no longer manufactured and if he doesn't update his spec he is going to get whatever I find on eBay and he said he doesn't care. Tens of millions of dollars project and this guy is having me put in used parts on a new system.

said he doesn't care

said

Please tell me that this was in writing and not actually verbal. And if it was, CC that to everyone now who's going to blame you later when it all goes horribly wrong.

We all know, everyone knows. You think this is atypical? And yeah I sent my email and copied everyone I was supposed to. Nothing happens. I wrote up a nice one pointing out that these parts are no longer manufactured and as a result I will have to buy used and long run this is hurting the operation team. Even suggested a list of alternative parts. His response? "Rejected, follow spec". No exaggeration here. So much for mutual respect. 3 word response to another engineer bringing up major project concerns.

I don't drink tap water when I am in or around Toronto ON. There is a reason for that, I have seen how the sausage is made. Sent a system there I want to say 6 months back with a PLC from about 2002. Whole system was full of used parts, as I explained in my email.

Arizona, California, New York City, Toronto, parts of Florida, Sussex County New Jersey, Dubai, Oregon, and UAE off the top of my head. I am sure I am forgetting plenty. Places where I have sent brand new pieces of equipment with used parts inside it and I warned the guy running the project that this was going to happen if they didn't update the spec and they didn't care.

As a PE, fuck that guy, that's fucked up.

Maybe but it isn't uncommon. This can't be news for you. You know the game.

Government puts out the bid. Some shitheads like Jacobs or Parsons grab it up. They recycle some decade old spec. Subcontract it out to 3 companies who subcontract it out to 8 companies and so on until 90 different companies are involved with ten guys doing the actual work.

And now everyone is trying to clone a system from the early 80s. Because no one wants to do engineering, meetings are far easier. The excuse will always be that prudence is a virtue, which might be true but it isn't the sole virtue.

Private industry now, which has its own problems. I previously worked in water/sewage, so even a recycled design works. The focus was quality for the public, we just had 6 guys doing a 2 man job. I secretly think there are more people than jobs at this point.

Private industry in a different field, it's all about speed, quality be damned. Luckily I've gotten the chance to show quality leads to less time wasted overall.

Still a love of meetings and shit though, private or public. Waste of life time.

The focus was quality for the public,

If I had a nickle for every time someone with a degree in civil engineering told me about electrical stuff or software stuff. Guys think that if it costs more it must be better or even worse that if it is was the norm in their 20s it must be best.

Whatever it's Friday and I am sick of caring about you people not dying from choleria because some PE want to run their little con.

Lol I'm a mechanical engineer with a lot of experience in software, so maybe that alters my protective a little.

It's a beautiful Friday, enjoy.

I have a civil engineer, full PE, client right now who is insisting I build a control system out of discreet relays. This is a government contract. Cause fuck the taxpayer

This could be a huge money save. Might cost the city less if they simply bisect pedestrians in police chases instead of paralysing them from the waist down.

get ready to be nailed by stuck at 100% throttle hunk of low grade stainless on wheels, on taxpayer dollar. pray that it rains and you may live.

I hope these skyrocket in popularity. Because I love Elon Musk! Yeah! Definitely! That's right! That's absolutely the reason! No others!

Because you're looking forward to the Detroit of RoboCop?

That's a pretty optimistic future considering current Detroit.

im gonna vandalize them

why? that graffiti or scratch is just gonna rust off in a day or two

exactly thats why im gonna be throwing water balloons at them

Paint ‘em with salt water. Or inversely, with lacquer, if you’re fancy.

The taxpayers should sue for misuse/abuse of funds if any of these get bought by or for police departments. They don't need every expensive toy they set their eyes on.

"We have an inflated budget and we need to spend every penny of it, even if it's on dumb bullshit."

All cops should be forced to drive them

EMP anyone?

(for those who don't know the only way to create an EMP large enough to disable a vehicle is either from a nuclear weapon or exploding a special type of bomb)

They meant Electrical Mangling Piece. Just shoot it with a large enough bullet and let the lithium battery stary cooking. Dont even need anything particular powerful either, pretty sure NATO 5.56 would be good enough let alone .308 or .50 BMG

At least they are more fuel efficient than the military MRAPs and APCs they’ve been getting.

/s

Of-fucking-course they are.

Shoulda seen this coming…

can the cops learn from the toyota war that toyota trucks are VASTLY more reliable and durable than the cybertruck

My first thought was the polygonal cars from Perfect Dark's Chicago Streets level

That's fine, as long as they put the sirens on the inside and the shotgun racks on the outside.

The rear has no headroom, so that is going to suck even worse to be put in the back of if you are like 6ft.

They will probably give them to the officers that don't do traffic enforcement because they would be terrible at anything other than presence. Literally every other model Tesla would be better at being a cop car.

I like that, looks pretty badass

Adding the "troll" tag to your profile is a wonderful thing I learned I could do