I want to get bitten by a capybara and get the superpower of being chill 100% of the time.
Have you considered switching to indicas?
Based on the internet it also seems like every creature on earth is totally down to give a capybara a piggyback ride. I assume that influence is part of the capybara's powers.
I think peter from dead pool got that one
The Immortal Jellyfish, taking their transdifferentiation ability in which they can reverse aging and damage at macro and cellular levels.
Hmmm… I choose the immoral jellyfish
I've seen that hentai.
Link?
No it was Zelda
I'd be worried that picking jellyfish might cause you to lose your brain as well. Which would be pretty inconvenient outside of preparing you for a career in politics.
Mm, I assumed that wasn't part of the deal. Spider-Man didn't get the brain of a spider. It's only select characteristics.
Hey-oh!
I was going to say a frog since they can change sex.
But jellyfish can apparently change sex and be immortal, so, I change my answer to the immortal jellyfish too.
That was super interesting, thanks for linking that!
A housefly so my lifespan is 2 days
Good news,
Plenty of animal bites can give you the same or even a better experience!
Better in what way 🤨
7 minute abs.
Bitten by a radioactive housecat, I gain the ability to sleep deeply and comfortably in a position that by all rights looks like it should be destroying my spine
Like I'll take whatever else you wanna throw on top, night vision or claws or something, but I only really need that first thing
Bats, I want their crazy advanced immune system and interferon production. Bats are tiny mammals with a metabolism even faster than a rat/mouse due to the high energy needs of powered flight. Typically, small mammals with this fast of a metabolism will live like 2-5 years, because cell division is so rapid that after only a few years, the cells' DNA becomes too damaged to continue. However, bats have insane immune systems. They're immune (asymptomatic carriers) to nearly every virus capable of infecting them because their immune systems produce so much interferon that any damage to the DNA (eg from a virus inserting code for its own reproduction into a cell) is corrected almost immediately. This process also partially repairs damage from cell-division, meaning that bats can live up to ~40 YEARS depending on the species. If a human had that ability, it would be like living to 400 or 500 years old, and being immune to nearly every disease (between native viral immunity, and antibiotics for bacterial infections)
Also Monitor Lizards. They're the most intelligent squamate reptile (group that includes all living reptiles except turtles, crocodilians, and birds, who are archosauromorphs), except for possibly the cobra. But, they're still cold-blooded, so I can just nap on a hot rock without eating for 2 days and be Fine. They do get Stupid when the temperature drops too much (lowers their metabolic rate, and intelligence uses lots of energy), but I live in Florida, so that's fine💀. They're also one of the only lizards that can both breathe and walk at the same time (apparently most squamate reptiles use the same muscles for breathing as moving their forelimbs?? Wack.). This is how they became so intelligent, there was more O2 coming into the body, so the overall metabolic budget to evolve stuff like Large Brain became much larger.
Also they're adorable, monitor lizards can be so friendly, curious, and playful, they're like the Lizard version of cat imo. I really want one, they even like to cuddle (humans are Warm, and they're smart enough to recognize and trust you enough to want cuddles). I'm gonna get a cute little Ackie monitor once I graduate college I think.
Wow. I was going to say bat for flying and echolocation but will take what you are having, that is an awesome bat fact.
a cat. I would like my superpower to be that everybody treats me like a cat
Please get off the couch and stop licking yourself.
Nonchalantly pushed you off a cliff
Pss pss pss psss
Ok, I'm giving up on the cuttlefish powers for this. Also I'm be soft and flexy and faster than I already am! Also secret claws!
Most importantly, I can figure out how to be comfortable practically anywhere!
How isn't there one post mentioning Mantis shrimp for the vision and punching power. Or any gorilla for being vegan and jacked. What about a giraffe? You could taste a women's urine to know if she's ovulating. Are these not no the default answers?
Mantis Shrimp have worse colour vision than humans. They need all those receptors because their brains are too simple to combine colours like a human brain can. A human can see hundreds of shades of purple in between red and blue. A mantis shrimp can only see as many colours as it has receptors. It's like seeing in 8 bit.
Can I subscribe to shrimp-facts?
🦐 ✌️
A mantis shrimp can punch hard enough that it vaporises the water in front of it into steam, which causes an explosion. It's an effect called cavitation, and it can kill a prey animal that the shrimp didn't even touch from the force of the explosion. Cavitation can also be an issue for sea vessels if the propeller and hull design creates too much turbulence, and this can damage vessels. If you've played Subnautica, cavitation is what happens when you run the Cyclops at full engine for too long.
Subnautica also has a deep sea vessel called a prawn. Prawns have claws on the first six legs, while shrimp only have claws on the first four. Australians love prawns, and do not call them shrimp. The famous line "shrimp on the barbie" was deliberately changed to make it easier for Americans to understand. Under normal circumstances an Australian would never talk about cooking shrimp, even if the animal on the barbie only had four claws.
Shrimp, prawns, and other marine crustaceans need a chemical called Calcium Carbonate, or CaCO3, to grow their shells. CaCO3 is a buffer chemical, which means that it can react with both hydrogen ions and hydroxide ions to form other chemicals. Buffer chemicals make a solution resistant to changes in pH. If you add an acid or base to a solution with a buffer, the pH will change very little, at least until the buffer runs out. Calcium Carbonate makes the ocean resistant to changes in pH, which is pretty handy because carbon dioxide reacts with seawater to produce carbonic acid. Human-caused emissions of carbon dioxide would have already turned the oceans to acid and killed off all the marine ecosystems if it weren't for CaCO3. Unfortunately, the amount of CaCO3 in the ocean has been greatly reduced. This makes it harder for crustaceans like shrimp to grow their shells. This has lead to a decline in both population and size for marine crustaceans. If we keep emitting carbon dioxide, the calcium carbonate buffer will run out and the crustaceans will all die. Also, the ocean will turn to acid and all the fish will die too, whether it be due to the acid directly, or to food web collapse. This may herald the end of most life on earth.
was not prepared for the sad ending
aight we had good run
You can help protect the shrimp from extinction by getting rid of your car, going vegan, avoiding unnecessary flights, assassinating billionaires, and participating in armed revolution against the capitalist institutions.
Here's a browser-based video game where you can see how humanity would do against climate change under your leadership, if we converted the world's governments to socialism immediately: https://play.half.earth/
unfortunately I already do most things (the ones I can influence, anyway) but no way I can do more, even us as people vs countries that dont give a shit (china, india, etc).
China and India both have lower emissions per capita than rich western countries like America, England, and Australia. These high emission countries should only be complaining about China if they were already world leaders on emissions, which they are not. The top ten countries on per capita emissions are African. Afghanistan is 11. India is the leader of the larger countries.
Nature doesnt really give an F about per capita though
Imagine that you live in Texas. The US has a certain amount of emissions, and Texas has a certain smaller amount of emissions. If Texas seceded from the union, then you would live in a country with less emissions. Therefore, seceding is climate action.
Can you explain the flaw in this logic?
No the net emissiona stay the same. Ergo, boundaries are useless. But we can only change so much trough goverment. Idc per capita, India and China might have a lot of people but their industry is killing us
They are by far the biggest contributors.
its not about living in a country or what country emits the most. The geographical region of india and china emit the most. China and india have the most control of that geographical region. Saying they are not responsible for the emissions is saying they dont have control and/or influence in these regions of industry and murder lf the earth
If you're in the US, that's not true. India emits less than US. India emits 3 billion tons of CO2 a year. USA emits 5 billion.
Now that we've sorted out the facts, let's talk philosophy. You're arguing that we should take actions that prevent climate collapse instead of worrying about borders and blame. I agree. So worry about the political processes that you have the power to participate in. You can't vote in Chinese elections. You can't vote in Indian elections. You can vote in your country's elections, so worry about those.
The alternative is that America does nothing because China won't do anything, and China does nothing because America won't do anything. You're just playing chicken. And what's the prize for winning? Nothing. What happens if you're both stubborn? Everyone and everything dies.
The shrimp don't care whose fault it is that they all died. They just want to live. Every gram of CO2 we don't emit could mean one more shrimp lives for one more day, and the total chance of climate collapse ticks down by one trillionth of a percent.
A kitten, and my superpowers are gonna be huge dick and $10k/day.
Next question.
An axolotl. I love swimming, less so the idea of SCUBA diving. I'd spend so many hours just chilling in the coral reefs on a sunny day. They're amphibious too so it means I could breathe just fine on land and in the water!
Everyone seems to think the question says you get powers related to the animal that bites you, but it isn't worded that way. I'd get bit by a kitten and have the power of telekinesis, which is really multiple powers. I could fly, create forcefields, create cold or heat by moving atoms, hell, I could create all kinds of things by manipulating atoms.
You have cheated my system. As punishment I will make sure no super power granting animal ever bites you. Muhahaha!
Everyone seems to think the question says you get powers related to the animal that bites you, but it isn't worded that way.
You cheeky fucker. I like your thinking.
If we're being pedantic, aren't cat bites actually super dangerous because of infections and bacteria?
Why get bit by a cat? I'd picka mosquito. Been there, done that 1000 times already...
Bitten by bear. Super power gained: DEATH
See, I'd want hibernation...
I mean, death is kind of like hibernation. It just lasts forever instead of just 1 winter.
toss that alarm clock
Human, so that I can be even humaner. If I can get humaner enough I might bypass superhuman and become hyperhuman. I didn't know if that will give me 5th-dimensional awareness or make me explode, but if superpowers are involved, there's only one way to find out.
Alternatively a mountain goat so I can wall-run through downtown like it's fucking Skyrim.
"Man-Man! He's bestowed with all the powers of a man... but he's a man."
"Oh, I bet Man-Man gets his powers from Robert Bly!"
Octopus. I would hope to get the ability to shape shift.
I'm answering in the spirit of the question, but it wasn't specified that the animal has to match the power. In that case, I'd choose basically the smallest thing that could feasibly bite me. A tardigrade for example.
Octopus is obviously the correct answer. They’re smart, they can fit through a hole the size of a quarter, they can camouflage, and they can shoot ink. They’re the superheroes of the animal world already.
Don't they only live for like 4 years or something?
That's longer than a spider lives, and Spider-Man isn't dying of old age at 30.
My pet tarantula is 11 years old and likely got at least 5 more years in her.
DON’T TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME!
Do the superpowers have to correlate to the abilities of the animal that bites me, like Spider-Man?
Probably a grasshopper, if so. Being able to bound to basically anywhere I need to get would be nice, get some wings to course correct in the air. Or a mantis shrimp because then I really would never have to worry about losing a fight.
But if it's any animal/any superpower: mosquito/super speed
Tardigrade, I'd have extreme resistance to basically all climates and can be dried up and rehydrated back to life effectively allowing me to "travel" through time by waiting in death...so my shows are all finished lol.
I'd also make a great astronaut
Edit: words
There is a pickle rick joke to be made in there somewhere...
Or Discovery joke...
I'll go with orangutan, and gain the ability to shift how my muscles are attached to my bones so I can adjust fine muscle control vs raw power.
"I'm sorry officer, it's not my fault I was going 60, I forgot to reconfigure my leg muscles"
An Asian palm civet, giving me the power to crap out exclusive high-priced coffee beans.
Dog.. I just want to be happy.
Quokka.
Eternal Happiness.
Cow
Big tits
Udder madness.
Dog, so that I could lick my own... belly...
Ladybug bite.
I would like to attain their hard candy shell and ability to fly.
Fwiw, a lady bug once bit my ear drum several times over the course of the longest half hour of my life up until that point. It hurts. A lot.
Man, that sounds horrible. I’ve only been bit on my arms and neck by them. I would pass on ladybug eardrum bites if offered, thank you.
Don't let one negative review scare you off of ladybug eardrum bites. There's a tendency for only those with the most-negative (and rare!) experiences to post reviews, but there are a lot of us out there who've had only great experiences with ladybug eardrum bites.
Hey, if it's your thing I'm not gonna judge. But I definitely find myself on the outside of that particular community.
For some reason, bugs like my ears. I've had several bug-in-ear experiences, and lemme tell you, none have been fun. Lady bug was the most painful, but only the second worst.
But, as the other commenter pointed out, perhaps there are people who enjoy the experience. It takes all types, and I don't kink shame. But definitely do your research first and make sure you want to try it before you find yourself in the situation. Don't wanna end up like the poop eater on reddit.
A lizard, then a pig.
Chop off a limb. Eat bacon.
Repeat.
Free bacon forever!
Comments like this is why I love Lemmy.
A turtle! 🐢
Great lifespan
Even better defensive skills
No need to go to a dentist on the account of not needing teeth anymore
Great software development skills due to Shell Access
Edit, almost forgot:
Wider housing options (unless they, I dunno, fill the sewers with concrete or something)
Possibility of martial arts training
Wombat. The power to take square shits.
I choose to get bitten by a catgirl and gain the power of not actually existing.
I was also going to say cat girl, especially if it means I can open up an onlyfans with my powers and make bank.
This is actually very attainable, although don't do the second part :(
yes I would like to sign up to be bitten by a human woman, ty
wait, I get a free superpower too!?
(I'll take super intelligence cuz maybe it'll cancel out my stupidity then)
A cat so I can lick my own ass
I would get bit by a cat because i know that's going to happen anyway. I would choose the power to import thoughts into other people.
Even though I'm scared of heights, being able to fly sounds fun. So maybe a bat or something?
Or maybe just a wolf so I can live out elaborate werewolf fantasies.
Water bear. I want to live forever and be a cutie.
A Sloth and have Sloth abilities.
Me also. Be nice to sleep 8 hours again and feel good in the morning.
I'd say it's a toss-up between a mongoose and a honey badger.
Ricky ticky tavvy was a fast son of a bitch.
And honey badger just don't care.
🤔
Mongoose.
fish and breathing underwater
That would be fun to randomly swim around.
I'll take housecat for the superpower of being an anime catboy. And having barbs in uncomfortable places.
A platypus. Because they're so wild and unique, who knows what powers that would grant.
Fuck, I just got a duck beak.
I want the deep dive abilities of a Sperm Whale. Able to hold my breath for 90 minutes and survive 100+ atmospheres of pressure.
You'll have to survive the bite first.
Juuuuust the tip.
Alternately, get bitten by a sperm and spend your life drowning in pussy.
Sperm is not an animal.
Sperm will drown in lotion, tissue paper, toilets, mouths, assholes, various fruit, couches apparently, condoms, and probably an order of magnitude or few more places than just this small list I've constructed.
Sperm don't have a mouth and thus cannot bite.
All I know that if this works intraspecies, dentists would collect all the powers of various people through incidental biting like Megaman.
Unfortunately, the bites also transfer all mental/emotional baggage.
Dog. I could train myself to find stuff (drugs and money, for starters) with my excellent sense of smell.
A small spider bite, which gives me the ability to punch someone in the mouth through their TV or computer screen....It has always been one of my ideas for an online business
This is excellent. I have a very long list.
The good: Honestly spider was a pretty solid choice, but I'll go with an eagle for the flight and government immunity
The bad: A human (no powers)
The ugly: A wolf (furry)
Spider would be cool tbh. Tho what if you get their fucked up reproductive process where the female lays dozens or hundreds of eggs at once and also maybe tries to Eat her male partner, depending on species.
Or like, you lose your teeth and have to eat by injecting caustic fluid inside Whole Organisms to dissolve their tissues and slurp them up with your Newly-Formed palps/pedi-palps.
You might get venom, which is cool, but most spiders are only venomous to other arthropods because most spiders hunt primarily arthropods (occasionally small amphibians or reptiles for larger species, a couple tarrantulas are known to opportunistically hunt rodents or bird hatchlings, but they don't have venom to begin with, so whatever). Unless you get a black widow or brown recluse or something. A dose of that vemon from a human sized Black Widow or Brown Recluse chimera (the Type of Thing you are now) would like 99% be enough to kill a person
A chameleon so I can get the ability to camouflage. Well as long as I don't move. Also I think I can grab the TV remote controller with my tongue. Or do insane tricks throwing food and catching it with my tongue. And well... maybe other nice things to find out with that tongue. 🔞
also, the eyes!
"Yes mom, I am paying attention to your story about who you met at the grocery store and definitely not just looking at my phone...."
Ill throw wombat into the mix because I want to flip trucks dig tunnels and shit cubes.
A predatory bird, which would give me extra cones and rods to see more colors / spectrum as well as possibly telescopic vision.
A shark, so I can swim better and breathe underwater. Then maybe I won’t be so afraid of large bodies of water.
If you want cool eyes, go with the Mantis Shrimp tbh, they've got like 7 or 8 different cone cells for everything from ultraviolet to infrared. IIRC scientists don't think their brains are powerful enough to fully use all that info at once, but I feel like connecting that to a brain that's like 1000x as powerful would fix that.
I'd hope you'd just get the extra cone cells and not compund eyes tho, compound eyes would be Difficult for a human to adopt to, since our visual cortices evolved to process two high resolution visual streams and not like,, 100 shitty visual streams.
I think you could just plug an eye with extra cone types directly into a human brain tho, there are people born with tetrachromia (4th cone cell that extends a bit into the ultraviolet iirc), and they can utilize information from the extra cone cells perfectly fine.
Afaik, the human eye lens absorbs most UV light, so people with tetrachromia can't actually see much UV, but it does give them way more precise color vision overall, because instead of infering colors based on 4 values (red, green, blue, and overall brightness), you're adding a 5th value for violet, which makes colors that look similar to baseline humans easier to tell apart. There are people with no lens on their eyes (either a birth defect or they had to be removed) who can fully see UV radiation tho, I don't even think it requires tetrachromia, the blue cone cells are very slightly sensitive to UV if none of it is absorbed by the lens.
Human/dolphin/pig i am already good in the intelligence department, but it's never too much or something like a turtle, I would live around 200 years, but would have severe motor problems. Intelligence, time and knowledge are the most important abilities imo.
Electric eel. Free electricity go brr
Octopus
Pro:
Brain with 1 P-Core and 8 E-Cores
Ability to actively alter my own genome
Change color, shapes and roughness of skin
Overload of sensory organs
Unparalled Grip
Insane flexibility
Nasty Beak
Ink Shooting
Six Arms + Two Legs
Air + Water Survivability
Survives extrinction events with ease
Con:
Easily bored
Reduced lifespan
Tastes good
::: spoiler NSFW
Dick might fall off after sex (can regrow)
:::
Edit1:
Fixed Spoiler
Edit2:
Fill spacecraft with water -> No Zero-G downsides, radiation shielding, can withstand extreme accelerations
(Synergizes with Flexibility and Genome Modding)
I'd love to be bitten by some mad scientist named Francis and become immortal. A reign of absolute terror would befall this world.
:3
I'd get bitten by a gnat, and hope for mind control.
Edit: Y'all, the rules doesn't say there has to be a correlation between the animal and the super power. People out here wanting to get bitten by big dangerous animals smdh
I would go for a mosquito bite, and hope to recive teleportation. Though I do hope to keep my clothes when I teleport.
The mosquito had malaria. 😞
Cat. The power to flexibly laze on any surface, anywhere, anytime.
I want to get bitten by a baby red panda and gain the power to hibernate through winter.
And that is the kilian experience.
Least Weasel. Super powers would be a human version of the weasel war dance and boundless energy for about 4 hours per day. Weaknesses would be my ADHD and sleeping 20hrs per day.
Red sea urchin. Long life and limb regeneration.
I don't want to turn back into a baby like those who chose the immortal jellyfish.
Wait, it would be cool if you could relive your childhood once in a while.
A cat so I don't have to explain why I need alone/chill time at home. It would be cool to be able to jump higher and dunk when around basketball hoops too.
Nobody has mentioned radioactive spiders? It was the first thing I thought of.
Meh. That's been done.
Get with the times, it's now a GMO spider. :-)
The immortal jellyfish that can regenerate itself. (Turritopsis dohrnii medusa)
flight, so any bird ig
First a giraffe, for a super long neck. Then a fish for gils.
That's it I'm just curious what it would look like. Ill probably go live in a loch or something.
Turritopsis dohrnii, for their phoenixlike lifecycle.
What if you don't keep your memories and just come out as a genetically identical baby of yourself? Turritopsis dohrnii sounds like a cnidarian or some sort (I know loads of jellyfish have life cycles like that), and they don't have brains, so there's no part of their metamorphosis back to the larval phase (whatever it's called for cnidarians) that would preserve your brain.
I don't see much of a problem with it. Havig an iteration of my body remain, that could possibly be reeducated to be me, is a better alternative than stopping to exist, that the current model of existence guarantees.
I agree with that on some level, a bit like the whole thought experiment on uploading your brain after death, bit in reverse (preserving only the body instead of only the mind). It's not really you, but it retains enough of a semblance that it's comforting to some people because it feels like some aspect of themselves will live on. Fair :)
I want to get bitten by a capybara and get the superpower of being chill 100% of the time.
Have you considered switching to indicas?
Based on the internet it also seems like every creature on earth is totally down to give a capybara a piggyback ride. I assume that influence is part of the capybara's powers.
I think peter from dead pool got that one
The Immortal Jellyfish, taking their transdifferentiation ability in which they can reverse aging and damage at macro and cellular levels.
Hmmm… I choose the immoral jellyfish
I've seen that hentai.
Link?
No it was Zelda
I'd be worried that picking jellyfish might cause you to lose your brain as well. Which would be pretty inconvenient outside of preparing you for a career in politics.
Mm, I assumed that wasn't part of the deal. Spider-Man didn't get the brain of a spider. It's only select characteristics.
Hey-oh!
I was going to say a frog since they can change sex.
But jellyfish can apparently change sex and be immortal, so, I change my answer to the immortal jellyfish too.
That was super interesting, thanks for linking that!
A housefly so my lifespan is 2 days
Good news,
Plenty of animal bites can give you the same or even a better experience!
Better in what way 🤨
7 minute abs.
Bitten by a radioactive housecat, I gain the ability to sleep deeply and comfortably in a position that by all rights looks like it should be destroying my spine
Like I'll take whatever else you wanna throw on top, night vision or claws or something, but I only really need that first thing
Bats, I want their crazy advanced immune system and interferon production. Bats are tiny mammals with a metabolism even faster than a rat/mouse due to the high energy needs of powered flight. Typically, small mammals with this fast of a metabolism will live like 2-5 years, because cell division is so rapid that after only a few years, the cells' DNA becomes too damaged to continue. However, bats have insane immune systems. They're immune (asymptomatic carriers) to nearly every virus capable of infecting them because their immune systems produce so much interferon that any damage to the DNA (eg from a virus inserting code for its own reproduction into a cell) is corrected almost immediately. This process also partially repairs damage from cell-division, meaning that bats can live up to ~40 YEARS depending on the species. If a human had that ability, it would be like living to 400 or 500 years old, and being immune to nearly every disease (between native viral immunity, and antibiotics for bacterial infections)
Also Monitor Lizards. They're the most intelligent squamate reptile (group that includes all living reptiles except turtles, crocodilians, and birds, who are archosauromorphs), except for possibly the cobra. But, they're still cold-blooded, so I can just nap on a hot rock without eating for 2 days and be Fine. They do get Stupid when the temperature drops too much (lowers their metabolic rate, and intelligence uses lots of energy), but I live in Florida, so that's fine💀. They're also one of the only lizards that can both breathe and walk at the same time (apparently most squamate reptiles use the same muscles for breathing as moving their forelimbs?? Wack.). This is how they became so intelligent, there was more O2 coming into the body, so the overall metabolic budget to evolve stuff like Large Brain became much larger.
Also they're adorable, monitor lizards can be so friendly, curious, and playful, they're like the Lizard version of cat imo. I really want one, they even like to cuddle (humans are Warm, and they're smart enough to recognize and trust you enough to want cuddles). I'm gonna get a cute little Ackie monitor once I graduate college I think.
Wow. I was going to say bat for flying and echolocation but will take what you are having, that is an awesome bat fact.
a cat. I would like my superpower to be that everybody treats me like a cat
Please get off the couch and stop licking yourself.
Nonchalantly pushed you off a cliff
Pss pss pss psss
Ok, I'm giving up on the cuttlefish powers for this. Also I'm be soft and flexy and faster than I already am! Also secret claws!
Most importantly, I can figure out how to be comfortable practically anywhere!
How isn't there one post mentioning Mantis shrimp for the vision and punching power. Or any gorilla for being vegan and jacked. What about a giraffe? You could taste a women's urine to know if she's ovulating. Are these not no the default answers?
Mantis Shrimp have worse colour vision than humans. They need all those receptors because their brains are too simple to combine colours like a human brain can. A human can see hundreds of shades of purple in between red and blue. A mantis shrimp can only see as many colours as it has receptors. It's like seeing in 8 bit.
Can I subscribe to shrimp-facts? 🦐 ✌️
A mantis shrimp can punch hard enough that it vaporises the water in front of it into steam, which causes an explosion. It's an effect called cavitation, and it can kill a prey animal that the shrimp didn't even touch from the force of the explosion. Cavitation can also be an issue for sea vessels if the propeller and hull design creates too much turbulence, and this can damage vessels. If you've played Subnautica, cavitation is what happens when you run the Cyclops at full engine for too long.
Subnautica also has a deep sea vessel called a prawn. Prawns have claws on the first six legs, while shrimp only have claws on the first four. Australians love prawns, and do not call them shrimp. The famous line "shrimp on the barbie" was deliberately changed to make it easier for Americans to understand. Under normal circumstances an Australian would never talk about cooking shrimp, even if the animal on the barbie only had four claws.
Shrimp, prawns, and other marine crustaceans need a chemical called Calcium Carbonate, or CaCO3, to grow their shells. CaCO3 is a buffer chemical, which means that it can react with both hydrogen ions and hydroxide ions to form other chemicals. Buffer chemicals make a solution resistant to changes in pH. If you add an acid or base to a solution with a buffer, the pH will change very little, at least until the buffer runs out. Calcium Carbonate makes the ocean resistant to changes in pH, which is pretty handy because carbon dioxide reacts with seawater to produce carbonic acid. Human-caused emissions of carbon dioxide would have already turned the oceans to acid and killed off all the marine ecosystems if it weren't for CaCO3. Unfortunately, the amount of CaCO3 in the ocean has been greatly reduced. This makes it harder for crustaceans like shrimp to grow their shells. This has lead to a decline in both population and size for marine crustaceans. If we keep emitting carbon dioxide, the calcium carbonate buffer will run out and the crustaceans will all die. Also, the ocean will turn to acid and all the fish will die too, whether it be due to the acid directly, or to food web collapse. This may herald the end of most life on earth.
was not prepared for the sad ending
aight we had good run
You can help protect the shrimp from extinction by getting rid of your car, going vegan, avoiding unnecessary flights, assassinating billionaires, and participating in armed revolution against the capitalist institutions.
Here's a browser-based video game where you can see how humanity would do against climate change under your leadership, if we converted the world's governments to socialism immediately: https://play.half.earth/
unfortunately I already do most things (the ones I can influence, anyway) but no way I can do more, even us as people vs countries that dont give a shit (china, india, etc).
China and India both have lower emissions per capita than rich western countries like America, England, and Australia. These high emission countries should only be complaining about China if they were already world leaders on emissions, which they are not. The top ten countries on per capita emissions are African. Afghanistan is 11. India is the leader of the larger countries.
Nature doesnt really give an F about per capita though
Imagine that you live in Texas. The US has a certain amount of emissions, and Texas has a certain smaller amount of emissions. If Texas seceded from the union, then you would live in a country with less emissions. Therefore, seceding is climate action.
Can you explain the flaw in this logic?
No the net emissiona stay the same. Ergo, boundaries are useless. But we can only change so much trough goverment. Idc per capita, India and China might have a lot of people but their industry is killing us They are by far the biggest contributors.
its not about living in a country or what country emits the most. The geographical region of india and china emit the most. China and india have the most control of that geographical region. Saying they are not responsible for the emissions is saying they dont have control and/or influence in these regions of industry and murder lf the earth
If you're in the US, that's not true. India emits less than US. India emits 3 billion tons of CO2 a year. USA emits 5 billion.
Now that we've sorted out the facts, let's talk philosophy. You're arguing that we should take actions that prevent climate collapse instead of worrying about borders and blame. I agree. So worry about the political processes that you have the power to participate in. You can't vote in Chinese elections. You can't vote in Indian elections. You can vote in your country's elections, so worry about those.
The alternative is that America does nothing because China won't do anything, and China does nothing because America won't do anything. You're just playing chicken. And what's the prize for winning? Nothing. What happens if you're both stubborn? Everyone and everything dies.
The shrimp don't care whose fault it is that they all died. They just want to live. Every gram of CO2 we don't emit could mean one more shrimp lives for one more day, and the total chance of climate collapse ticks down by one trillionth of a percent.
A kitten, and my superpowers are gonna be huge dick and $10k/day.
Next question.
An axolotl. I love swimming, less so the idea of SCUBA diving. I'd spend so many hours just chilling in the coral reefs on a sunny day. They're amphibious too so it means I could breathe just fine on land and in the water!
Everyone seems to think the question says you get powers related to the animal that bites you, but it isn't worded that way. I'd get bit by a kitten and have the power of telekinesis, which is really multiple powers. I could fly, create forcefields, create cold or heat by moving atoms, hell, I could create all kinds of things by manipulating atoms.
You have cheated my system. As punishment I will make sure no super power granting animal ever bites you. Muhahaha!
You cheeky fucker. I like your thinking.
If we're being pedantic, aren't cat bites actually super dangerous because of infections and bacteria?
Why get bit by a cat? I'd picka mosquito. Been there, done that 1000 times already...
Bitten by bear. Super power gained: DEATH
See, I'd want hibernation...
I mean, death is kind of like hibernation. It just lasts forever instead of just 1 winter.
toss that alarm clock
Human, so that I can be even humaner. If I can get humaner enough I might bypass superhuman and become hyperhuman. I didn't know if that will give me 5th-dimensional awareness or make me explode, but if superpowers are involved, there's only one way to find out.
Alternatively a mountain goat so I can wall-run through downtown like it's fucking Skyrim.
"Man-Man! He's bestowed with all the powers of a man... but he's a man."
"Oh, I bet Man-Man gets his powers from Robert Bly!"
MST3K
Octopus. I would hope to get the ability to shape shift.
I'm answering in the spirit of the question, but it wasn't specified that the animal has to match the power. In that case, I'd choose basically the smallest thing that could feasibly bite me. A tardigrade for example.
Octopus is obviously the correct answer. They’re smart, they can fit through a hole the size of a quarter, they can camouflage, and they can shoot ink. They’re the superheroes of the animal world already.
Don't they only live for like 4 years or something?
That's longer than a spider lives, and Spider-Man isn't dying of old age at 30.
My pet tarantula is 11 years old and likely got at least 5 more years in her.
DON’T TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME!
Do the superpowers have to correlate to the abilities of the animal that bites me, like Spider-Man?
Probably a grasshopper, if so. Being able to bound to basically anywhere I need to get would be nice, get some wings to course correct in the air. Or a mantis shrimp because then I really would never have to worry about losing a fight.
But if it's any animal/any superpower: mosquito/super speed
Tardigrade, I'd have extreme resistance to basically all climates and can be dried up and rehydrated back to life effectively allowing me to "travel" through time by waiting in death...so my shows are all finished lol.
I'd also make a great astronaut
Edit: words
There is a pickle rick joke to be made in there somewhere...
Or Discovery joke...
I'll go with orangutan, and gain the ability to shift how my muscles are attached to my bones so I can adjust fine muscle control vs raw power.
"I'm sorry officer, it's not my fault I was going 60, I forgot to reconfigure my leg muscles"
An Asian palm civet, giving me the power to crap out exclusive high-priced coffee beans.
Dog.. I just want to be happy.
Quokka.
Eternal Happiness.
Cow
Big tits
Udder madness.
Dog, so that I could lick my own... belly...
Ladybug bite.
I would like to attain their hard candy shell and ability to fly.
Fwiw, a lady bug once bit my ear drum several times over the course of the longest half hour of my life up until that point. It hurts. A lot.
Man, that sounds horrible. I’ve only been bit on my arms and neck by them. I would pass on ladybug eardrum bites if offered, thank you.
Don't let one negative review scare you off of ladybug eardrum bites. There's a tendency for only those with the most-negative (and rare!) experiences to post reviews, but there are a lot of us out there who've had only great experiences with ladybug eardrum bites.
Hey, if it's your thing I'm not gonna judge. But I definitely find myself on the outside of that particular community.
For some reason, bugs like my ears. I've had several bug-in-ear experiences, and lemme tell you, none have been fun. Lady bug was the most painful, but only the second worst.
But, as the other commenter pointed out, perhaps there are people who enjoy the experience. It takes all types, and I don't kink shame. But definitely do your research first and make sure you want to try it before you find yourself in the situation. Don't wanna end up like the poop eater on reddit.
A lizard, then a pig.
Chop off a limb. Eat bacon.
Repeat.
Free bacon forever!
Comments like this is why I love Lemmy.
A turtle! 🐢
Edit, almost forgot:
Wombat. The power to take square shits.
I choose to get bitten by a catgirl and gain the power of not actually existing.
I was also going to say cat girl, especially if it means I can open up an onlyfans with my powers and make bank.
This is actually very attainable, although don't do the second part :(
yes I would like to sign up to be bitten by a human woman, ty
wait, I get a free superpower too!?
(I'll take super intelligence cuz maybe it'll cancel out my stupidity then)
A cat so I can lick my own ass
I would get bit by a cat because i know that's going to happen anyway. I would choose the power to import thoughts into other people.
Even though I'm scared of heights, being able to fly sounds fun. So maybe a bat or something?
Or maybe just a wolf so I can live out elaborate werewolf fantasies.
Water bear. I want to live forever and be a cutie.
A Sloth and have Sloth abilities.
Me also. Be nice to sleep 8 hours again and feel good in the morning.
I'd say it's a toss-up between a mongoose and a honey badger.
Ricky ticky tavvy was a fast son of a bitch.
And honey badger just don't care.
🤔
Mongoose.
fish and breathing underwater
That would be fun to randomly swim around.
I'll take housecat for the superpower of being an anime catboy. And having barbs in uncomfortable places.
A platypus. Because they're so wild and unique, who knows what powers that would grant.
Fuck, I just got a duck beak.
I want the deep dive abilities of a Sperm Whale. Able to hold my breath for 90 minutes and survive 100+ atmospheres of pressure.
You'll have to survive the bite first.
Juuuuust the tip.
Alternately, get bitten by a sperm and spend your life drowning in pussy.
Sperm is not an animal.
Sperm will drown in lotion, tissue paper, toilets, mouths, assholes, various fruit, couches apparently, condoms, and probably an order of magnitude or few more places than just this small list I've constructed.
Sperm don't have a mouth and thus cannot bite.
All I know that if this works intraspecies, dentists would collect all the powers of various people through incidental biting like Megaman.
Unfortunately, the bites also transfer all mental/emotional baggage.
Dog. I could train myself to find stuff (drugs and money, for starters) with my excellent sense of smell.
A small spider bite, which gives me the ability to punch someone in the mouth through their TV or computer screen....It has always been one of my ideas for an online business
This is excellent. I have a very long list.
The good: Honestly spider was a pretty solid choice, but I'll go with an eagle for the flight and government immunity
The bad: A human (no powers)
The ugly: A wolf (furry)
Spider would be cool tbh. Tho what if you get their fucked up reproductive process where the female lays dozens or hundreds of eggs at once and also maybe tries to Eat her male partner, depending on species.
Or like, you lose your teeth and have to eat by injecting caustic fluid inside Whole Organisms to dissolve their tissues and slurp them up with your Newly-Formed palps/pedi-palps.
You might get venom, which is cool, but most spiders are only venomous to other arthropods because most spiders hunt primarily arthropods (occasionally small amphibians or reptiles for larger species, a couple tarrantulas are known to opportunistically hunt rodents or bird hatchlings, but they don't have venom to begin with, so whatever). Unless you get a black widow or brown recluse or something. A dose of that vemon from a human sized Black Widow or Brown Recluse chimera (the Type of Thing you are now) would like 99% be enough to kill a person
A chameleon so I can get the ability to camouflage. Well as long as I don't move. Also I think I can grab the TV remote controller with my tongue. Or do insane tricks throwing food and catching it with my tongue. And well... maybe other nice things to find out with that tongue. 🔞
also, the eyes!
"Yes mom, I am paying attention to your story about who you met at the grocery store and definitely not just looking at my phone...."
Ill throw wombat into the mix because I want to flip trucks dig tunnels and shit cubes.
A predatory bird, which would give me extra cones and rods to see more colors / spectrum as well as possibly telescopic vision.
A shark, so I can swim better and breathe underwater. Then maybe I won’t be so afraid of large bodies of water.
If you want cool eyes, go with the Mantis Shrimp tbh, they've got like 7 or 8 different cone cells for everything from ultraviolet to infrared. IIRC scientists don't think their brains are powerful enough to fully use all that info at once, but I feel like connecting that to a brain that's like 1000x as powerful would fix that.
I'd hope you'd just get the extra cone cells and not compund eyes tho, compound eyes would be Difficult for a human to adopt to, since our visual cortices evolved to process two high resolution visual streams and not like,, 100 shitty visual streams.
I think you could just plug an eye with extra cone types directly into a human brain tho, there are people born with tetrachromia (4th cone cell that extends a bit into the ultraviolet iirc), and they can utilize information from the extra cone cells perfectly fine.
Afaik, the human eye lens absorbs most UV light, so people with tetrachromia can't actually see much UV, but it does give them way more precise color vision overall, because instead of infering colors based on 4 values (red, green, blue, and overall brightness), you're adding a 5th value for violet, which makes colors that look similar to baseline humans easier to tell apart. There are people with no lens on their eyes (either a birth defect or they had to be removed) who can fully see UV radiation tho, I don't even think it requires tetrachromia, the blue cone cells are very slightly sensitive to UV if none of it is absorbed by the lens.
Human/dolphin/pig i am already good in the intelligence department, but it's never too much or something like a turtle, I would live around 200 years, but would have severe motor problems. Intelligence, time and knowledge are the most important abilities imo.
Electric eel. Free electricity go brr
Octopus
Pro:
Con:
Edit1: Fixed Spoiler
Edit2: Fill spacecraft with water -> No Zero-G downsides, radiation shielding, can withstand extreme accelerations (Synergizes with Flexibility and Genome Modding)
I'd love to be bitten by some mad scientist named Francis and become immortal. A reign of absolute terror would befall this world.
:3
I'd get bitten by a gnat, and hope for mind control.
Edit: Y'all, the rules doesn't say there has to be a correlation between the animal and the super power. People out here wanting to get bitten by big dangerous animals smdh
I would go for a mosquito bite, and hope to recive teleportation. Though I do hope to keep my clothes when I teleport.
The mosquito had malaria. 😞
Cat. The power to flexibly laze on any surface, anywhere, anytime.
I want to get bitten by a baby red panda and gain the power to hibernate through winter.
And that is the kilian experience.
Least Weasel. Super powers would be a human version of the weasel war dance and boundless energy for about 4 hours per day. Weaknesses would be my ADHD and sleeping 20hrs per day.
Red sea urchin. Long life and limb regeneration.
I don't want to turn back into a baby like those who chose the immortal jellyfish.
Wait, it would be cool if you could relive your childhood once in a while.
A cat so I don't have to explain why I need alone/chill time at home. It would be cool to be able to jump higher and dunk when around basketball hoops too.
Nobody has mentioned radioactive spiders? It was the first thing I thought of.
Meh. That's been done.
Get with the times, it's now a GMO spider. :-)
The immortal jellyfish that can regenerate itself. (Turritopsis dohrnii medusa)
flight, so any bird ig
First a giraffe, for a super long neck. Then a fish for gils.
That's it I'm just curious what it would look like. Ill probably go live in a loch or something.
Turritopsis dohrnii, for their phoenixlike lifecycle.
What if you don't keep your memories and just come out as a genetically identical baby of yourself? Turritopsis dohrnii sounds like a cnidarian or some sort (I know loads of jellyfish have life cycles like that), and they don't have brains, so there's no part of their metamorphosis back to the larval phase (whatever it's called for cnidarians) that would preserve your brain.
I don't see much of a problem with it. Havig an iteration of my body remain, that could possibly be reeducated to be me, is a better alternative than stopping to exist, that the current model of existence guarantees.
I agree with that on some level, a bit like the whole thought experiment on uploading your brain after death, bit in reverse (preserving only the body instead of only the mind). It's not really you, but it retains enough of a semblance that it's comforting to some people because it feels like some aspect of themselves will live on. Fair :)