Jesus, help me! - No!

Jeena@jemmy.jeena.net to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 418 points –

So I'm still on Facebook and lately the feed is full of those AI Jesus pictures like this and thousands of comments saying "Amen". See: https://www.facebook.com/davon999/posts/pfbid023woxuD3nufLG6PpqmHzHamDLTwkRNJjJi6xYmyX7g88TzwidnM9H5hz18wNL8s39l

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“And when you saw two pairs of footprints on the beach, my child... that wasn’t you and me, it was just me. Galloping majestically.”

Jesus was carrying the dinosaur, which is why you don’t see the dinosaur footprints, because dinosaurs didn’t exist.

But they only didn’t exist in order to test our faith.

Jesus spent those misssing years casting bones out of special concrete, sailing around the world, and burying them for future archeologists.

He can turn water into wine, couldn’t he just magic the bones into place?

Jesus, take the wheel legs

That would be his third leg he is holding. What number four is from, I haven't a clue.

AI photos have taken Facebook by storm. So many are very obviously fucked up looking and not real, but the sheer stupidity of the masses shines as strong as ever. I even stumbled into a weird genre of AI-generated pictures of motorcycles built entirely from wood planks, usually with a toddler sitting on one and a caption like "Make this myself!", and the comments section is absolutely bursting with morons praising how wonderful the craftsmanship is. The only part of these photos that even looks life-like is the kid. And yet..

5 more...

I got midjourney to make this to see if it could make a realistic photo of the crucifixion, I should start telling Christians that it's a still taken from the Chronovisor the Vatican has hidden away.

Amazing that he has the skin tone of a Scandinavian who has never felt the touch of sunlight in his bones.

The model is only as knowledgeable as its training data.

Those shadows don't make sense

When you've got someone saying things like: "I am the light" clearly we're beyond the particle/waveform level of confusion.

Did you choose the 1960's style color processing, or did midjourney?

Chronovisor the Vatican has hidden away.

I never once considered that the Vatican might have actual powerful artifacts and/or SCP-level objects tucked away.

I asked it for a colourised photo jounalistic footage, it decided that style. .

That throne the pope has feels like some sort of SCP.

I asked it for a colourised photo jounalistic footage, it decided that style. .

Nice. I'll have to remember that prompt. That's useful.

That throne the pope has feels like some sort of SCP.

(now you're speaking my language)

Either it's a psychic amplifier of some kind and/or the throne itself is the inanimate-yet-sentient head of the papacy. Either way, The Vatican has it "contained" but the SCP Foundation does not approve of their methods.

Yeah that prompts pretty good at getting a slice of life style photo with what ever weird thing you've added, it also helps to look into what film stock and camera people used to take cool photos, it's pretty good at replicating film stocks and lense sizes.

I like seeing what alternate reality photography it can make

Actually a really good AI picture

Which part?

The ropes going nowhere? The weird perspective? The incredibly elongated forearm? Or the fact that it's a white Jesus that looks like a carving which isn't at all accurate?

It looks like a real scene from a film at first glance

Mainly the weird perspective. Makes it look like a shitty old photo which I like.

I imagine the prompt being like show Jesus carrying his two penis legs through floodwaters

2 more...

You see, you can tell it's fake because Jesus isn't real (and also doesn't have a spare pair of sexy lady legs)

Those could be a guys legs.

we need one of them feet guys to weigh in

Sometimes in art Jesus is depicted as having frail or feminine legs. Which I assume is where this AI got this?

Anyway if you are gay for Jesus’ legs, that’s cool bro no one is judging you here. Jesus would probably post on the com where fem boys run arch Linux and take pics of their thigh high socks.

open your mind

Open your mind....

Open your mind...

Open your mind....

Most of us use "mind" to refer to intellect. The thing we think with, where all the ideas are.

But the Buddhists are referring to your "attention". Like a flashlight, you direct it at stuff. Sights, sounds, thoughts, etc.

That's 2 quite different things. "Open your mind" is a different thing there.

Wooosh

Invidious says it's geoblocked. Can you describe what the video is about?

It's the scene from Total Recall where the character in the top comment keeps repeating the phrase "Open your mind..."

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

Wooosh

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

Whenever anybody tries to talk about anything strange and significant you people get defensive. It's as if you actually prefer to be boring, mediocre and shitty. You've got a deathgrip on it.

I've found that a lot of times people who are very interested in a given topic will see it everywhere they look, and as such, shove it into any conversation possible.

"What did you do during your trip to Egypt?" "We visited the pyramids." "You know, aliens may have built those."

It can get old very fast.

I'm certainly guilty of this and as someone with fairly nuanced interests that touch on common topics, am regularly asking myself if it's contextually appropriate to bring up my particular perspective in a discussion.

You literally jumped in on a quotation of a movie in response to a screenshot of that movie to try and have a discussion of Buddhist principles.

Maybe you could do better at knowing your audience and reading the room?

And you found it so darn offensive that you needed to ignore my point and insult me. I sympathize.

Where did I insult you?

"Wooosh" is a standard meme in reference to missing the point of a post or comment.

There was an entire sub on Reddit about it.

If you are getting offended at memes, perhaps it's a good opportunity to exercise nonattachment?

Maybe the people on your Facebook are also AI/bots. It's just one big circle of bots posted altered photos and responding to them.

I've seen something similar in YouTube shorts. AI generated white jesus avatars with TTS speech talking about how if you love christ you have to comment "amen" to be saved.

It's fucking weird.

Well that's one way to feed the algorithm with comments. And apparently it works since you got to see the videos.

The Warhammer lore where people worship an AI as literal God suddenly seems so realistic!

‭Acts 16:25-31 ESV‬ [25] About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them, [26] and suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken. And immediately all the doors were opened, and everyone’s bonds were unfastened. [27] When the jailer woke and saw that the prison doors were open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself, supposing that the prisoners had escaped. [28] But Paul cried with a loud voice, “Do not harm yourself, for we are all here.” [29] And the jailer called for lights and rushed in, and trembling with fear he fell down before Paul and Silas. [30] Then he brought them out and said, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” [31] And they said, “Comment 'Amen' on my latest TikTok, and you will be saved, you and your household.”

I used to see one that literally said "Jesus wants you to download [this app]." Creepy af.

I guess having your critical thinking overriden by fear (of going to hell), isn't... The best.

So, I had a quick look at the people commenting on the post, and they all seem to be real people, with a post history etc.

NPC behaviour, truly.

How many Korean bus drivers does it take to escort a six-toed Galilean to... where is Jesus going btw?

He's going to JESU 24

clearly

Ahhhhhhh, I get it. JESU 1 had problems so he had to go to JESU 2 to heal him. Unfortunately JESU 2 also had problems that were beyond the combined powers of him and JESU Prime which caused JESU 3 to come into existence. So this here is JESU 23, he's just fixed JESU 22's shit but he's a bit unsteady walking on water with the extra limbs so he's off to see JESU 24.

Flood water's risin'. Clearly, they're headed to Noah's boat. That and Korean bus-drivers were deemed the only truly selfless and chosen ones for the rapture to come.

The beoseu unjeonsa came in ten by ten, hurrah, hurrah!

Just a picture of typical jesus, helping those who help themselves

the feed is full of those AI Jesus pictures like this and thousands of comments saying “Amen”.

I'm worried. Should I be worried?

2000+ years ago, literature didn't exist in the way it does today. A book was only writable/readable to those that were literate, whom were in the overwhelming minority. I can appreciate how such an incomprehensible thing, said to contain the very word of god, might be considered practically magic in its own right. Today, all that's demystified mostly because nearly all of us understand that writing is just a form of technology, and learn so as small children.

Now, we have a brand new incomprehensible thing that can churn out religious iconography with the push of a button.

propaganda always existed. People have pictures of white & blonde jesus in their homes. Jesus was midde eastern. Didn't need AI for that.

Too traumatized, Jesus evolved away from virgin birth, but his demonstration of asexual reproduction was interupted by another flood.

Oh, just get back on the bus and drive. It's so shallow he's not even bothering to walk on it.

This is what happens when you let your son of God be a Sons of the Forest.

Oh shit! It's Supply Side Jesus! Look, he's showing us how to pick ourselves up by the bootstraps!

There's only one bus line that gets you to heaven every time!*

JESU 24

*Fuck off if there's flooding.

Jesus' dad decided to do global flood 2.0 and leave his only son there. mwhahahaha

When nobody is there to save you and you need to save yourself.

So are we all ignoring how the hand holding up the leg (not both, just the one). Is growing right out of the same leg it's allegedly supporting?

There's some lesson here about Jesus being a little selfish, or maybe about Jesus pulling Himself up to help others, or something like that.

They are getting better with the number of fingers.

Solved the whole walking on water trick illusion

Jesus playing centaur like luffy with kinemons legs

What would you expect from those religious nutcases?