I once did a toke at a party and then I died true story

ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net to Memes@sopuli.xyz – 620 points –
113

This is the amount I drop on the carpet when opening my grinder.

Plot twist. The person holding the pot is Andre the Giant.

and he just drank 156 beers

https://www.eightieskids.com/156-beers-inside-andre-the-giants-unofficial-world-record/

One for my favorite fun facts about Andre's drinking...There were times he got so drunk and would pass out in hotel that they'd have to simply leave him there because he was too big to move.

Really feel sorry for the guy. Apparently the drinking was the only way to ease the physical pain he was in so much of the time.

those teens didn't die, and in fact rose up 3 hours later to eat everything in the house

I once caught gay from a used marijuana needle. Never again. Took a lot of prayer and fasting to make that go away. Ban it. Ban it all!

(/s, of course. Shouldn't be necessary but this is the internet....)

Did you freebase the devil's lettuce from the needle or did you huff it from a used crack pipe you found in a medical refuse bin

You gotta get one of those used crack pipes, otherwise you're missing out on the extra flavour

It's only deadly if you inject the nug directly into your veins though.

Luckily I only inject directly into the penis. Not mine, but definitely a penis.

Well yeah. If you cause a blockage, and then a rupture, I guess you could cause internal bleeding that if ignored would eventually kill you.

However, thats just suicide with more painful, longer lasting, and confusing steps.

Tbf, almost anything will kill you, once injected into your veins.

Bitch that's barely a gram

That mini bag probably weighs more than the micro nugget it contains.

Yay microplastics!

I just smoke the microplastics and inject the weed into my nutsack.

No, it's an eighth of a pound. Didn't you see the baked in text?

Perhaps you have already succumbed to the reefer madness.

NOT TO A CHRISTIAN AGAINST the POT WHAT ARE YOU ACTUALLY INSANE

DO YOU FUCKING USE the POT?!??!

I tried via search and failed to prove it, but I'm nearly certain this was an old Facebook satire page.

I feel like "Christians against the pot" gives the game away.

My grandma fell and some of the pot slipped out of a stranger's pocket. It hit her right on the middle of her butt and then she's dead now. She tells me about it every day and is crying now as I type this, smh.

It's in a plastic bag because microplastics are safer than letting such a large dose of the marijuana leech into your skin

I should have died 6000 times

Jesus fucking christ

Why are Christians such prolific liars, anyways?

You know, I think it's actually down to the idea of being a church based religion. These little niches of worship, combined with the rigid idea of commandments.

This, imo, sets up a community where appearances outweigh actually adherence to the religion. It's more important to be seen as christian than to live christianity.

You've got one guy (usually, there are women that are leaders, but it's a minority) up in front preaching about adhering to scriptures that are hard to interpret without a lot of thought because the scripture is badly translated from millennia old writings.

This creates a need to follow the leader as much as the scripture itself. So people attempt to conform to what is said in church as opposed to in the bible.

When you're lapping up the pre-chewed meat like that, it becomes performative rather than religious. You have to show you're christian by following the crowd.

Since there's a certain degree of gullibility necessary to have faith in the first place and a certain degree of imagination to ignore any flaws or outright impossibilities within the religion, it becomes acceptable to lie not only to one's self, but to everyone else.

Belief in the unprovable is fine for what it is, but when you start to value faith over action and reality, the kind of self inhibition humans are supposed to develop against lying becomes fragile at best, and broken at worst.

It isn't every christian for sure. This is about the worst case members. Many of them were indoctrinated so young that the kind of lying we're talking about is engrained as the norm. christians in general are no more or less prone to the kind of lies everyone indulges in at least occasionally. It's this kind of lie, being used to push a religious take on something the religion doesn't actually cover that becomes over represented.

Anecdote:

My high school had an actual bible class as an elective option, bible history. There was also a club based around it.

Being a curious and open minded sort, I went to a few meetings with friends that were christian. One of them, the last I went to, they were organizing a record burning. Now, this was in the early nineties, ans everything they would burn would be releasing toxic fumes, and the answer to that was that God would protect them.

But, that's not the part that relates to this. One of the members was up there "witnessing" essentially about "boom boom" music being of the devil. Now, for anyone unaware, there was a fairly big trend in the eighties and nineties of electronic music that was bass forward, with the most famous sub genre being miami bass. You'd have sampled pieces, with or without vocals, laid over a bass heavy rhythm.

So, nothing different in principle from instrumental jazz, or symphonic pieces.

But this was somehow worse than marching band, which was people playing music over a heavy beat.

I think you can imagine how well that went over when someone asked "how is bass music different from marching band?", when the girl doing the talking was in band.

There's nothing in the bible against music. The whole thing is made up and predicated on some vague principle of "moral values" that people will be converted against by a nice beat that they listen to as they drive.

That's the essence of why christians lie so much. Someone gets an idea in their head, and if the bible doesn't have a reason to be against it, they'll start making chains of "what if" until they link to something that is in there. Usually sex, but not always.

I took a huge bong hit not knowing their shit was potent AF and got sent to the shadow realm once, does that count?

Damnit, Jesus! How many "then I died" stories you gonna come up with?

Must be the inflation I hear so much about in those Trump ads on TV showing Mansions and Gas Canisters and Doritos bags shrinking before my very eyes!

Smokings bad, you shouldn't smoke and alcohols bad, you shouldn't drink alcohol. And as for drugs, drugs are bad, you shouldn't do drugs.

But if you do them all at once they cancel each other out