What is the funniest one syllable word you can think of?

BougieBirdie@lemmy.blahaj.zone to Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world – 117 points –

I say "bum" and my wife says "boob"

Interested to hear what you think.

207

Onomatopoeia usually punch above their weight class here. Shlorp gets my vote.

Peef.

It's when you fart out of your dick hole. A "Penis Queef", if you will. Happened to me once when I had a cystoscopy. Weirdest feeling ever.

What the fuuuuuuck. How do you delete someone else's post?

It wasn't fun for me either

I am sorry. I didn't mean to be flippant. I had no idea that was a thing and reacted in the moment. Are you ok? Is your penis ok? Can you teach me your ways, senpai?

Yeah I'm good. I guess there's an over developed muscle in my bladder that caused pain and blood in my urine. Totally benign.

The tube in my pee hole? Weirdest feeling of my life

Ok, I've had many catheters inserted into my penis, I've just never had an expulsion of air. Usually getting it put in wasn't a big deal, as I was always incoherent or unconscious, but getting it taken out was cathartic and unpleasant.

This goes beyond a catheter. The camera goes all the way deep into the bladder.

I said something irredeemably stupid as it's clear I didn't actually read the last sentence of your original post. I apologize for wasting your time. That said, do you have any pictures?

I learned a new thing today, thank you!

Does it sound like peef too? How many decibels do you think you could crank one out to?

Bjork!

I know it’s not a word, but a name… still if you use it with ! I think it’s particularly funny. Like it’s an exclamation, or a warning.

  • Mom! Look! This frog says my name every time I press down on its belly!
  • Leave the poor animal alone, Björk!

Yes, and you have to say it while sucking in air, not breathing out.

Holy shit that makes it 10x funnier!

I tip my cap to you, PrayerWaxpaint

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Schmutz.

It's Yiddish (?) and is a general term for unspecified dirt or filth. The fun part: once you have identified the filth, it is no longer schmutz.

My spouse and I picked it up from the Says You radio show years ago, and have used it ever since.

It's literally the translation of dirt or filth in German.

Its US usage comes mostly from Yiddish, but fun story: I studied for two years in Germany after taking one semester of German (would not recommend, but it worked out), and on my first day, I told my housemate that she had some schmutz on her nose, and she was so excited about the German progress I had already made… I did not know at that time that Schmutz was dirt, but I’ve always remembered it

Another great one syllable Yiddish word is Schmuck

Yiddish has like 200+ words for penis, and zero for vagina. they were also used to describe personality types. a schmuck is a general dick. a schmuckgagle is a giant dick. a schmuckus is a baby dick. etc.

I don't know Yiddish, but it's got some good words. I feel like Hutzpah is one that I hear from time to time

Chutzpah is great! There are tons of great Yiddish words. Some of my favorites are schvitz (to sweat; alternatively a sauna), schlep ([traveling] an annoying distance), mischigas (nonsense or nutty behavior, or kinda similar to a clusterfuck), noodge (kinda like a pest, but said with some affection), zaftig (pleasingly plump, like Christina Hendricks), and kvell (to be really happy/proud, opposite of kvetch).

So it's a name for a thing that doesn't actually exist?

No, more like "hey you've got some schmutz on your shirt." I don't know what it is (might be crumbs or maybe lint) but it's definitely there.

Smeg

I expect this requires no explanation. You lemmings already know.

Oh, we accepting abbreviations now to fit one syllable? This is cheating, I'm calling the police

Smeg is actually a well known appliance brand

Yes, but before I learned that, I saw a video with someone standing in front of a SMEG refrigerator and was impressed by the great lengths they'd gone to to express their fondness of Red Dwarf.

You lemmings know even more about smeg than I thought!

I know one more thing about it, but the (definitely singular) author of the original Red Dwarf disavowed any association so I shouldn't mention it.

Now you have to tell us, in accordance with space corps directive 1742.

I was looking this up on DDG to provide you with a satisfactory answer, but then I learned that I didn't want to do any more searching on the topic.

Mildly gross stuff below. I don't think it's too much, but don't want to overwhelm anyone's sensibilities since it does involve genitalia. I'm not sure how to do spoilers on my phone but will update my post later after opening this on my desktop.

::: spoiler spoiler Fans theorized that "smeg," a word used as a replacement for cursing in Red Dwarf, was short for "smegma," a real word related to discharge under the foreskin of uncircumcised men. (The authors of Red Dwarf denied this.) (One of the things I learned in the aforementioned search is that the discharge can exist for both men and women and does not require a lack of circumcision.) The discharge is natural and facilitates intercourse, but can be described as gross due to its "thick, cheese-like" appearance (a quote from my memory that I'm not even going to try to validate because I'm not searching for anything close to a combination of the words I'm using in this summary). I believe the text is also the content of an official card in Cards Against Humanity. :::

There is a Wikipedia entry on the topic. It has some explicit photos. I won't link it because I'm still not sure how link previews work in various clients, but it is a very short search away.

edit: I appreciate the (I think?) reference to Rimmer's affectations. edit 2: Copied spoiler markdown from another post I made. Hope it works. It's really not that bad, but I don't want to upset or surprise anyone.

Ah yes that. I understand your hesitation to go into detail. I believe it was mentioned on an episode of QI that they just made up the word smeg, with no relation to the above or the line of appliances by the same name.

I never saw the episode you're referencing but yeah, that sounds like my understanding as well.

Now you have to tell us, in accordance with space corps directive 1742.

Under no circumstances can wild badgers be trained in professional juggling without the written authorization of 2 or more flag officers?

This is how I abbreviate avocado smash & eggs. Mostly with two g's, but still.

Without wanting to ruffle anyone's feathers, I will submit queef, which would be worth a chuckle even if it held no meaning

It's funny that quaff is spelled similarly, but has a completely different vibe to it. The two don't mix at all.

Well, unless you're into quaffing queefs, I'm not here to judge.

Funt. Looks horrendously rude, resembles two terrible English words, but is completely without meaning in and of itself. Unless you let UrbanDictionary tell you that it's the combination of those two words anyway.

It's also the noise things make when launched out of a tube by compressed air, if not the noise made by lighting gases in a test tube, both of which are highly entertaining.

The spelling "phoont" may be preferable.

I know exactly what you mean with the air-tube. In video games it's the stock grenade launcher sound effect.

I spell it "fwump." It's funny that we're probably thinking of the exact same sound and have different ways to express it

Twat

pronounced with a hard A

A hard A, eh?

people tend to default to twut twot, really throwing the A at 'em is fucking hilarious.

... like the difference between scone and scone.

Yeah, you say twot to an English person and they'll look at you like you've sprouted a third head.

The correct way to pronounce it is twat:

The twat in a hat came at me with a bat.

As opposed to:

The THOT whose a bot sent me her twot.

I usually hear twot / twaht.

if you're reading twot and twut differently maybe I should edit ...

Maybe they are the same in your accent and different in mine? Speech be funny that way.

poot

My dad spends a lot of time doodling, and sooner or later he ends up with a man farting a big 'poot' cloud

Have you ever read My Teacher Flunked The Planet? There's a little slug creature thing called a poot in that book. I love it

Hump

Also: dink

Edit: hehehehehehe

You must be a fan of The Princess Bride, or as I like to call it Prince Humperdink and that Blasted Woman Who Didn't Want to Get Married

Your edit is the whole reason I'm here :)

I always enjoyed the word putz. I typically use the verb format but it amuses me that every definition is so different lol.

I didn't know you could verb this one. But being called a putz is devastating in a way. Like, you think it's a dirty word, but it's really not

It means the male reproductive organ in yiddish.

Nob

Nob and Knob are spelled the same, and I feel like you could use them interchangeably.

Hit someone with a Gnob and they'll look at you funny

As written words they have distinct meanings I think - with the exception of a class of people (nobs) the word is always with a K for all other uses. I’m gonna start calling people “gnobs” from now on to muddy the issue.

As a mountaineer I enjoy the word "cwm". Sounds like it should nasty but in reality it's just Welsh for cirque.

That’s the only word in the (American) English language that uses w as a vowel (I hope British English has a stronger Welsh influence, but I can’t say). If you learned “and sometimes y and w” as part of your vowels, that’s the reason why.

Squirrel

This is kind of blowing my mind that a word that long is only one syllable

I see you're unfamiliar with the alternate spelling, skwerl.

Or the alternate spelling in our house so we don't send the dog through the window: werl sounds like whirl

Always appreciated the levels of drawl it takes to squeeze this into one.

Funny, I drawl it into one syllable, but I read it as two. Didn't understand how it fit the rule.

Scrunched

Longest syllable I can think of, rather ironic

I think 'scrunched' is the longest one I've seen in this post, I can't think of a longer one.

In a similar vein, it feels really wrong that 'abbreviate' is such a long word.

If people pronounce squirrel as one syllable, then I guess squirreled could be as well, but it’s not in my dialect.

pink

Not the color. The sound of something tiny-yet-structurally-significant snapping under pressure; juuuuust before the most chaotic gosh-damned thing you've ever seen in your life happens. Car accidents, roller coaster failures, towers collapsing (not those ones) - it's pretty much always preceded by a tiny little pink

I like to yell " HULST ! " whenever i see it, and then point at it. It's dutch for holly

Whenever I see holly my brain says "do it, eat the berry." It's not fair that they're so red and plump

I think my brain's trying to kill me

Shmeckels, nick name of my cat when he eats...and shmecks

Shmeckels makes me think of a fun name for money, like shekels.

I say look at this fat stack of smackaroonies! That's a lotta dough, there's gotta be a hundred clams here! And you know what I'm gonna do with all these bones? Buy a thesaurus!

Bloop

"Bloop" is associated pretty strongly with Slime Rancher for me. It's the noise of happy slimes

I am entirely ignorant. What is Slime Rancher?

It's a cozy video game about raising slimes. You explore a strange planet with its mysteries, while also sucking up slimes with your vacuum gun. Slimes can be bred with other varieties, and ultimately you have to feed them to harvest their 'plorts' (another funny word), which are their droppings which are for some reason valuable.

It's one of my wife's favorite games. The slimes just look so stupid and happy that it's hard not to smile when you're yeeting them around on your ranch.

Hmmm. I'm pretty sure I play this game everyday. After all, I'm raising slime in my bathtub.

poop (or fart); they're such universal words that everybody, kids and adults alike, just understand how gross and funny they are instantly.

Shit. I associate that with how my friend and I used to say it during games. "Ah Chiet!" like you have no teeth.

Shit’s versatile. Whether you pronounce it shit, shieeeet, shit… or SHIT! all has different meanings

squirreled

It's the longest one-syllable word last time I checked. Pretty ridiculous that it is one syllable honestly.

Plung.

Is there a deeper meaning behind this one? It sounds fun

Years ago, Electric utility badly mangled a friend's last name. That's what was on his bill. He never corrected it. It's pronounced like "plug" but with an "n."

Feels like it should be in the dictionary, under some sort of insult.

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Cul

I've only heard this as cul-de-sac, I didn't know it had another meaning

Cul-de-sac literally translates to "ass of bag" in french.

That's funny, here it's the name of a particular type of dead-end street.

That's also exactly what it means in French. We use cul de sac to describe dead-ends. :)

Yes. You could use dead-end instead of ass. That is just the origin of the term. It gets its name from the french.

I am also from this place you speak of where the term refers to a type of street.