Threw a wrestling watch party, made special food, and was very disappointed in the outcome.

Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world to Mildly Infuriating@lemmy.world – 541 points –

So as you can see in the picture, I threw a party last year. AEW is a pro wrestling company, much like WWE. They had this big outdoor show at Wembley Stadium in London. Sold something like 80,000 tickets. We watched live on PPV.

It's the first time I ever threw a wrestling watch party. I invited 4 people. I bought cheese, soft pretzels, bought chips/queso. I had vodka, whiskey, beer, and 3 different THC vape pens along with edible gummies. I also had coke (the soda), barqs root beer, and one of the special novelty mountain dew flavors.

I cooked chicken, and cut the cheese into cubes with individual toothpicks. I got out my good plates. And used the projector to make the screen 90 inches.

Only 2 people showed up. Nobody ate hardly anything. Nobody drank anything. Hardly anything was said. This picture was taken AFTER the party. We went through 1 bag of chips, and 1 1/2 jars of queso.

I literally could have just bought 1 bag of chips, 2 jars of queso, and saved $100 and 2 days of prep work.

I even had 2 different styles of BBQ sauce for the chicken.

Yes, it's a year later, and I'm still mildly infuriated over it!

130

That's fucked up I'm sorry, I'd have eaten an entire plate of cheese hors d'vors myself and taken half that chicken with me afterwards. I'm not even into wrestling and I'd have come for that food.

You're a good friend for providing that for a watch party (on top of paying for ppv) and I'm sorry your friends don't appreciate how well you maintain your half of the bridge. The least the 2 could have done is tried the cheese and chicken.

Edit holy shit are those pre stuffed pretzel bites. Bro wtf is wrong with these people I'd have asked if anyone wanted any and eaten the entire plate. (I may or may not have portion control issues but seriously, they didnt touch any of that delicious looking food)

Yep, and they were locally sourced from a bakery. I think they cost about $25, and I put them in the convection oven at a low tempature. Not enough to cook them, but enough for them to be always warm, with melty cheese inside.

Edit: oh, and that stack of 2 plates? It was 3 plates. I used a plate for the chicken, and cheeses. I also had a few beers, and some jack n cokes.

The other 2 plates, their plates, you can see were unused. Everybody just ate chips off the orange serving platter.

That’s…. A lot of chicken. Even for four peeps.

I’m sorry you went to all that trouble, though.

I’d drop a few recipes for what to do with it… but uhm, I hope that chicken is long gone by now, heh.

Side note, you need better friends! Pro wrestling isn’t my jam, at least I’d hang out. Maybe shout insults at the heel or something.

Hang out, vape the THC, devour that chicken! OP, this is amazing hosting!

I thought it was a lot at first but taking a close look, it looks to be only 12 pieces on a raised tray. 3 per person is about right.

Those are huge drumsticks, though. Compare them to the size of the salsa/queso jars.

I wouldn't be able to eat 2, never mind three.

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There's a tough lesson I learned about trying to get my friends into board games: It's easier to turn gamers into your friends than it is to turn your friends into gamers. I've learned that some of my friends are never going to share my interests as much as I'd like, but that just means I needed to find people who were already in whatever hobby and start hanging out with them and some of them will eventually be your real friends.

Making and keeping friends as an adult is way more difficult than it seems it should be, but it's a painful reality.

What I learned trying to turn gamers into board gamers is that most people don’t want to read so we end up making our own bullshit rules.

I found a different group to play board games with irl but then they suck at online games funny enough.

Shit that looks delicious but maybe they just weren't hungry (could have eaten before). And I don't mean to disrespect you but you did not have to do this much for watching a wrestling game. Though it does suck 2 people flaked.

Also, having been on the other side of such a situation: it's not cool to pressure or guilt trip your guests. Either be hospitable and let them do whatever they want, or don't invite them.

If people aren't hungry, then they aren't hungry. Maybe they are on a diet, maybe they misunderstood OP's intention and ate beforehand. Maybe they are recovering from something and don't want to eat too much.

And as for the two that did not showed up. It's a good practice to reconfirm the night before. Sometimes people forget. Sometimes life gets in the way.

If they did reconfirm and still didn't show up and did not have a good excuse, then I would start looking for better friends.

Hope OP has better success next time. I do understand that the situation sucks.

But it's also a situation that, in my opinion, is preventable.

And as for the two that did not showed up. It’s a good practice to reconfirm the night before. Sometimes people forget. Sometimes life gets in the way.

It's why for board gaming, nowadays we plan on this weird mix of snacks: Most is just bagged stuff so we can always not open bags, and the little fresh stuff that there is - usually one guy who loves to bake - is not done just for that evening, he makes a whole lot, brings some to board gaming and the rest goes to colleagues in the office.

And if we know before hand that nobody has eaten but we all want a major meal, we'll order something and in turn plan for even less snacks.

For DnD night I’ll usually make stuff that’s good for leftovers.

Speaking of… I need to go get stuff for chili.

So I have a friend that sounds a bit like OP.

He plans some event and invites a few people (including myself). I said I already had plans, but would try and make it if my other plans ended early.

Weekend comes around and he prepares a preposterous amount of food for everyone. Like enough to feed a family for an entire month.

My other plans don’t end up ending early, so I wasn’t able to make it. He then sends me pics of all the food that hadn’t been eaten and does this little guilt trippy dance he always does: “my friends and I were really excited to have you join us, guess I gotta throw all this away now”

Like bro…I never said I could go in the first place! And even if I was there, there is no WAY I’d be eating all that food lmao.

I really don’t understand this behavior. It’s like they get a pleasure out of playing the victim constantly.

Not saying this is you, OP. Just wanted to vent a little bit haha

I will add that while I don't know OP's friends that seems like a ridiculous amount of food for just 5 people, unless you know they're skipping their main meal that day before. And you need to confirm that, something I learned with organizing board gaming. You can't just assume people will be hungry/thirsty.

It sounds silly, because we have this assumption that we should "just have enough stuff" (and being hungry right now, the stuff in the OP pic looks yummy!), but we're also not throwing a kid's birthday party, we can just ask and collectively organize and plan.

Yeah we also have friends in our group that have special diet restrictions/health issues they don’t want the while world knowing about where they can’t eat certain foods.

It’s one thing to ask someone to make certain food, then showing up and not eating any. But it’s likely OP’s guests never asked for all of this. So I don’t really see how OP can be upset that his guests didn’t stuff their faces?

Sometimes people aren’t hungry. Or they’re on diets. Or have legitimate medical reasons for not eating certain foods. It really doesn’t matter. I never understood this logic of getting personally offended because people didn’t eat something I made. I don’t give a shit, more for me! Or I can donate it/save it for later!

cut the cheese into cubes with individual toothpicks

Jeez, next time just use a knife my dude.

Two things:

  • Did your friends know you were going to have a bunch of food and they were expected to eat it?

  • Was your party at a time that people normally eat?

I find that if it's too early/late or if you didn't tell them what was expected, your results are suboptimal. Could just be your friends, though.

Started at noon, ended about 7pm.

That's a long-ass party. I would have eaten all of your cheese in that timeframe. All of it. Do you have anymore?

If all of that food was prepared by noon it might not have been so suitable to eat in the back half when appetites might've kicked in. But please note I was a health inspector once and I fully recognize that my thought processes aren't common.

Don't be discouraged. This may not have worked out like you hoped and planned, but keep doing awesome things. Somebody will love you for it and you'll have a lot of fun.

Absolutely this. Can confirm from experience. I got it from my Ma, whenever family was hosting growing up she was doing the most. Flexing at every opportunity. Obviously good to play with a budget you wouldn't mind burning so you don't chew off too much, but keep being extra.

I don't know if that makes you feel better, but for my 40th birthday I invited 20 people, prepared accordingly, and 3 showed up.
Not even my wife was there, cause she ate too much of the dough for the weed brownies she had made for the occasion.
She crashed half an hour before the guests showed up.

We sat around the table, emptied a couple bags of chips, I was the only one who drank beer. My friends left after 2 hours.

Doesn't so much make me feel better, it just makes me want to hug you.

It's ok, not every social event is going to go well and most of the time it's nothing personal, we're all just kind of bumbling along through the confusing and absurd reality that is life.

May I join this group hug?

I dont even have parties because I know no one will show up so that's pretty good.

This reminds me that expectation is the enemy of happiness. I didn't plan anything last year for my 34th, just hung out with my dog like a regular day and went on a hike. No disappointment, just another day!

I feel your pain.

Years ago I threw a party for work friends and acquaintances where I had 30 confirmed and 10 tentative (from calendar invite). I bought a variety of drinks (alcoholic and non) and bought/cooked food for about 50 to ensure there was plenty.

... 4 people showed up.

That was the instant that I stopped giving a fuck. Ever since then I've adopted the approach of "I'm going to do something, you can come if you want, but I'm not planning for you". Or, more commonly, I just don't organize anything :)

EDIT: I should note that this was a recurring yearly party that got bigger and bigger over 5 years until it just died. Pre COVID.

That's still way too much food even if everyone came. And everyone never comes.

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What you did for your friends was great. I would have absolutely appreciated you doing this if you were my friend and invited me. That said, one of the things I've noticed after covid is that a lot of people are already going to go home after gatherings. Getting baked/drinking might be an issue with that. Were your friends driving by chance?

I feel your pain, several years ago I made Thanksgiving dinner for about 15 friends, everything prepped the day before, and we had a hard ice that night, everything frozen over and no one showed

Ah, that sucks too. At least you can take solace in the knowledge that it was unsafe to drive. Still sucks, but it's a bit less insulting. My thing was on a sunny August day.

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I have the wrong friends.

Jokes aside, that's way too much food for 5 people.

Secondly, from a guy's standpoint, that's way too much prep work for a guys gathering/sport watching, it's almost weird. It's not a house party, all you need is something casual like chips and beers, then if anyone feels hungry you order some pizza or wings delivered (based on what everyone preferred at the time).

Communication is key, and you seem to be struggling in that department.

Oh man, I did not need to read this now …..

I have people coming over today. They cancelled on a previous weekend and are hemming and hawing. The event is that I have a smoker and and want to make all kinds of new foods. I have $100 of meat, an elaborate salad and sides. Dessert also goes on the smoker. I just want someone to help eat.

This weekend’s feast is duck. Dry brined, stuffed with oranges, and smoked. Or chicken, to bribe a picky eater to come.

But it’s cold and rainy so the outdoor seating is out and I don’t really have space inside . I have an afternoon of cooking ahead that I was so excited for but have lost my motivation, dreading wasted time and money if they don’t show up

Where do you live? I love smoked food and will eat just about anything you set in front of me. And yes I'm serious.

Sorry to hijack your thread, @Lost_My_Mind ..

Wish y’all could have made it. All My guests did come, but there was a ton of food and a lot leftover

Boston. I’m serious too

Damn, at the airport now - wish you threw this yesterday 😅

Shit. Too far to drive. I would've if i was within 3 hours.

Can we please be friends? I'll make sure those lovely snacks don't go to waste. I can bring two grackles, a bluejay, and a couple of raccoons to fill out the party. Oh, and my wife!

I am sorry this was your experience, it’s an awesome and tasty spread, I would have loved to have been invited and would have eaten a lot of it haha

That said, I think some times disappointments like this happen because there’s some mismatch in people’s expectations of an event

I find that sometimes it also helps to let people know in advance that there will be food so they don’t eat beforehand. Sorry if you already mentioned this in the thread somewhere. I hope you make some more friends, but no need to officially break things off with anyone from this event. Just cool it with them for awhile I guess

I literally could have just bought 1 bag of chips, 2 jars of queso, and saved $100 and 2 days of prep work.

Don't forget the beer, but YEAH! You way over prepared for five whole people. If you had invited 10ish, maybe 15 (because then 10 show up), then yeah, but this is waaaay too much for 5. Especially depending on your ages, they may not have expected such hospitality and ate beforehand if they weren't warned "hey come hungry and sober, there's food and libations abound," etc.

Don't give up, learn from this and adjust a little for next time! Just invite a few more, warn 'em of the full plans (food, booze, ykwim), or make less food. If you do it regularly (like say Football Sundays at your house) the event will grow and more food will be necessary, but start small! This looks like a good hang, I'd have joined for the food and I don't even like wrastlin', just needs some restructuring!

At least the booze and weed don't go bad!

I need friends like you. I would have eaten so much I felt ill. Then helped clean. (I love cleaning, I know I'm weird.)

In reverse, I'd never throw a party like that because my anxiety is exactly afraid it'll turn out like you said.

I never understand posts like this. Someone could ask me to split a six piece nugget and I'm there. Sorry that you went through that, but it looks wonderful, and very thoughtful. They don't deserve you ❤️

You need better friends. No, seriously, you do.

Well I'm no longer friends with the two that didn't show, and no longer friends with one of the two that did show.

Unrelated to this specifically, but I don't keep people in my life that make life harder.

Well now you don’t have to cook for a couple days. Also, my rule of thumb is that 50% of invitees ever show, and of those only 50% will participate fully (i.e. not leave early, show up really late, have already eaten, etc.). It’s good to have more stuff on hand in the freezer or pantry, in case that equation isn’t exact. Then, you can prep some quickly to meet demand.

Hey man, you still did a great thing. Don't let that go to waste. You cared for people.

I'm sorry this happened but if it makes you feel better, I'd totally love to come over there and chow down on all of that stuff.

General rule of thumb, plan on less than half the people you invite actually showing up for any gathering.

Also... Wrestling....

I’m not a wrestling fan, in fact I’ve never gone out of my way to even pay attention to it, but it does seem to be growing in popularity. There is a local wrestling event that happens every month in my town that’s getting quite popular, and I hear and see about wrestling events passing through town quite enough. Not my bag, but it seems like it’s having more than just a passing moment

spread + AEW sounds like a great time OP I think its possible that your friends are not pro-level friends but maybe something else is amiss?

  • live in ohio
  • not good at video games
  • only know 4 girls, all have same name
  • the guys were all white dudes with beard + glasses, couldn't tell each other apart
  • invited mean guy

if not one of those try getting pro friends

.......I DO live in Ohio.....and not that good at video games. All the women I know have different names. I feel like I'm missing a reference with that, unless you ARE referencing the Oblongs, in which case bravo. There was one white dude with a beard, no glasses, but he didn't show. No mean people.

I'd love some pro friends. Got any that live near Cleveland?

That's crazy that I nailed it in 1 try

Yeah I got people in Cleveland but they don't like AEW because they are wrong about which things are good

When planning a party, I assume about 1/3 of the people I invite will RSVP and only 3/4 of them will show. I plan with that in mind. I also explicitly state the plans around food, drink, etc., and if they should come hungry or just expect snacks. And I make sure that I understand what other events or competing parties might be going on to help adjust expectations. Also, planning an annual/regular thing so that people get used to it being something they do every year helps, but it takes a couple of times to get it kickstarted.

Since I started doing that, I've had a lot fewer disappointing events. Event planning is a lot of work.

You needed to invite a lot more people and at least a few people who didn’t like wrestling.

It happens my dude. I have hosted a lot of parties and we used to do a 3-4 day campout with about 20-50 people depending on the year. Some years we would go though almost all the food other years I came back with 40 lbs of pulled pork that I smoked out of the 60 lbs I made. Next year ran out of it 2 days into the 4 day camp out

🔛🔛

Sorry man. Feels like 2024, no more no less. Friendship and willingness to be around people (in person) is an old fart thing. Nowadays I only invite or make plans with my really close friends. Friends that are more family than friends.

Those casual friends we used to have are gone for good between laziness and socializing on-line, whatever that is.

If you were my neighbor and invited me I would've totally attended and decimated those delicious quesitos!

This is so strange to me. I hear stories like this all the time but I have hard time understanding who would not show up or not eat the food that was obviously for the party.

Did they know there would be food beforehand? Could they have eaten before because they thought there wouldn't be anything at the party? What about the other 2 people? Did they tell you they were not coming or did they say they were coming and then just didn't show up? Did they say why they didn't show up?

Is that a tip jar on the table? Even if not, just the association is enough for people to feel like they have to contribute financially for the food. While that isn't an outrageous thought, for people who are tight on their finances, it might be an uncomfortable situation where they'd rather skip on the food than take it and not pay a share.

No, thats actually a coin counting jar. I keep loose change in it, but the top counts your coins as you put them in. I also have some lapel pins in there, and some eyeglasses screwdrivers.

I never would have thought to assosiate that with a tip jar.

Well - I thought I'd mention that it could look like that - but of course it really depends on the personality / financial situation of your friends whether that might have influenced them

Has anybody done a reverse image search be sure this is real?

Making up a story for 37 people on Lemmy is way sadder than throwing a party with low turnout.

Could be a redditor trying to expand. Who knows. On reddit these kinds of stories were there on the daily.

Some people simply don't know how to be good friends. You really shouldn't take it personal

I've just had to learn my closest friends simply aren't capable of providing emotional connection like I'd like. I'm working on becoming a better friend to them, meeting them where they are , trying to figure out how to provide for and validate my own emotional needs, so I can eventually work up the courage, or whatever it is I need, to meet friends that are more emotionally mature enough to have the real connections I'm looking for

I once delayed a party where I had tons of family over because my friends hadn't arrived. They didn't get there until like 10 or something, after I'd already told them to just fuck off. The thing is, they are my friends and they legit care about me in their own (weird to me) ways. I've just come to realize they've got legit issues, as I do (part of why we're drawn to being friends), that they're working on to varying degrees, and I simply can't expect more from them than they're capable of giving

Good luck finding a chill healthy tribe of folks that shares similar values to your own!

So I guess the little balls are the pretzels? Never seen them in that shape, looks yummy just like everything else there, sorry to hear about your disappointment.

Apparently they are cheese filled prezel bites from a bakery near him and now the courting must begin, for I must have them.

To be honest, a 50% attendance record sounds pretty good. I'm really sorry to hear about this though, the spread looks great, and anyone that puts a watch party on for All In is going to put on a good time.

What time was it on for you guys? I went the first year and had an amazing time, but sadly had work this year. Perhaps you should make the pilgrimage over next year for Forbidden Door?

That sucks man. You went the extra mile to be a good host, so you should be proud of that, regardless!

That sucks, but the good news is that most of that can be refrigerated so at least you can eat it.

Keep trying my friend! I would have been moved out of there with a wheelbarrow.

I don't really like wrestling but I like parties and that food that you made. Invite me next time. I'll make sure your food gets eaten.

Are those things in the middle at the back soft pretzels? They look like conkers (horse chestnuts), confused the hell out of me!

Ugh sorry bro.

But this reminds me of that reddit post from forever ago about the same thing. Cups, drinks, food. Nobody showed

this is actually sad :(

Damn them wangs look good.....

They wouldna survived intact

I've experienced stuff like this.

I think the last time I tried being above and beyond type of host, had a bunch of people coming over for a big weekend. I thought I do something really special and make steaks. But this wasn't just going to be like any grilled steak no no no. These steaks were going to be prepped the night before and then sous vide. But before I even started this plan I reached out to everyone and said what I was planning to do and ask if there were any issues with it, any requests, etc. I describe to everyone and great detail what I was going to make. Not one person said anything other than the "sounds good".

If you're unfamiliar with sous vide the short of it is it takes a long time to cook. Generally it's measured in hours I'd say. As such I need to cook all of the steaks at the same temperature for the same amount of time I don't have the setup at home to do individual orders.

One of the individuals once they got here, asked if I could make them a hamburger instead. Like I was a fucking restaurant.

And another one slathered it with ketchup without even trying it without. Claimed it was overcooked and dry. 🤨

Thankfully everyone else thoroughly enjoyed their perfect steaks.

Other times I would buy up a bunch of stuff so we could have breakfast. Like a proper breakfast, not just a handful of carbs in calling it good. But people would wake up late despite knowing when breakfast was going to be on. And then say they weren't hungry. And not 30 minutes out the door, talking about picking up something or swinging by somewhere to quick grab a bite.

i don't know why but i feel strongly about this topic and the comments are not helping either, if i were to host a function and invite people over and they refused to show without previously telling me they won't be able to make it, i would hurt them so much they won't get over it and that'd be the end of whatever friendship existed between us

in my part of the world, social events are to be honored, if you can't or don't want to go, that's fine and you should say so before hand, if you can't anyways, you're expected to reach out to the person and make amends for that

Bro I'm not into wrestling, but definitely invite me to your D&D sessions.

Damn, sorry it happened, 2 of them could've told you they no show, it's not even hard.

Would've totally take some of those back home if its me.

The foods looks delicious. I would have been glad even if wrestling is not my cup of tea.

That feel when your homies are all on ozempic.

(Sorry brother, I would have consumed a healthy amount had I been there. I am on ozempic now so depending on when my shot was my performance is no longer guaranteed)

Drop the alcool and I might join you. You could be in charge of some sort of Lemmy meeting.

invite me and I'll bring my own alcohol. spread looks delicious!

Why would you bring any on your own when he can get what he prepared eaten? You'll better off bringing people. The cheese won't be eating itself.

Root Beer in the UK I thought that was a US thing. That’s sucks dude. I’d have come. Good luck next time.

I got you bro.

I operate a hiking Meetup and a climbing Meetup.

The climbing Meetup I'm watching as a single member is slowly hijacking it

The hiking Meetup I put in so much work and its so intermittent.

The people who do join love it, I have great reviews and basically perfect scores, but just seems like everyone has better things to do

Screw 'en

I didn't realize adults of drinking age were interested in fake wrestling.

The E in WWE is for Entertainment.

Some people enjoy belittling other's choices on the internet. Some enjoy watching the drama of fake wrestling.

I haven’t watched since WWF Attitude Era, but there really is nothing like wrestling. It’s such crazy performance art, with sick flips and insane feats of strength. I also called it fake like the person you responded to when I was 11, but now that I’m an adult, I recognize how fantastic it really is.

Also RIP Big Cat Scott Henson.

I'm very much into a variety of entertainment. And fake wrestling was fun to watch when I was a kid. Not trying to belittle anyone, more just surprised that grown adults still watch it.

I don't get it either. I also don't get why people would want to watch a bunch of guys scramble around a field after an oblong ball and give each other TBIs, but, hey, people can enjoy whatever they want. I don't need to criticize them for it. So, why do you feel that need?

Plenty are interested in fake stories like scifi and fantasy movies, so why shouldn't they?

My significant other is into it and I have decided to just enjoy it with them by picking the silliest person I can see on the stage and rooting for them and playing drinking games with the sillier aspects.

It can be a lot of fun especially with how excited the people I am watching with get excited about the whole thing.

Plus the last guy I picked ( I miss you Boogs!) Was a large muscle man that looked like steroided Freddie Mercury and absolutely shredded on the guitar.

That sounds really great. Sorry, I'm an asshole.

Hey, it's never to late to change from the asshole you are, to the asshole you want to be.

People need to bond over something and modern life stripped normal shot away filled with this engagement slop.

Yeah it retarded but I also don't judge normies for trying to have friends