Republicans Really Wish Trump Hadn’t Picked J.D. Vance
Some Republicans are starting to seriously regret Donald Trump’s vice presidential nominee, Ohio Senator J.D. Vance.
It’s been only one week since Vance was nominated at the Republican National Convention, and already his own party members are expressing severe doubts about Trump’s pick. The former president’s allies have acknowledged that nominating Vance was the product of Trump’s absolute certainty that he would be able to defeat Joe Biden in November. While Vance wouldn’t do much for swing voters or independents, he would likely shore up support among Trump’s base.
But ever since Biden passed the torch to Vice President Kamala Harris, the Democratic Party’s new presumptive nominee, Republicans have begun to sour on Vance.
“The road got a lot harder. He was the only pick that wasn’t the safe pick. And I think everyone has now realized that,” one House Republican told Axios Thursday, under the condition of anonymity.
Another House Republican told Axios that Vance “doesn’t add much.”
Are we talking about JD Vance the couch fucker?
The sectional predator himself
"I did not have sectional relations with that sofa"
"Sectional" fuckin hell dude 🤣
God damn, couch - that's some hoe shit!
Holy fuck, thank you for that laugh
Again, there is ZERO evidence that JD Vance has reached earth-shattering orgasm in the loving embrace of a two-piece sectional, or that he has had a wild fling or two with wicker outdoor patio furniture. NONE. He certainly has not done so while making disgusting claims about gay people.
I have the evidence that shows it is all true right here.
Evidence
This is probably how furries became popular. People saw that Monty Python skit about the mice men and thought it was funny and started dressing up.
Does JD fuck couches? A lot of people are saying it. The best people. They keep saying it so there must be some truth to it. Just the other day I asked him so you prefer leather, right? It's so smooth. It's durable. It's perfect! He looked me dead in the eye and said, "polyester". It's so rough though! That's why he needs the glove!
i adore that he will live out the rest of his days being known as j.d. the couch fucking mascara muffin man vance
We need to stop making fun of men wearing eyeliner. Everything else is fair game but no matter how we spin it or couch it in “well they care, it’s just hypocritical, I don’t care!” it’s a very gendered insult that requires mocking men who wear eyeliner. It’s not clever and it punches down.
It's not about mocking someone who wears eyeliner, it's about mocking someone who wears eyeliner and pretends they don't.
your cause is noble, but the outrage over mascara man vance bashing is misguided. "punching down" is insulting race, sexuality, gender, disability, and any other thing that no one chooses for themselves*. makeup is 100% a choice, for everyone. in vance's example it's a ridiculous choice, given the requisite strictly defined GOP persona of the "manly man," which obviously doesn't involve men wearing makeup. so vance will be mocked for it.
where's the outrage over making fun of trump's orange spray tan? guliani's hair dye leaking forehead?
and if you're going to bring "gendered insult" into the conversation, then exactly who is arguing under the flawed premise that mascara is just for women, if not the person calling the insult gendered?
don't worry, i make fun of many, many choices people make, from cartoonishly huge pickup trucks, to cargo shorts
*edit: apparently "punching down" is generally defined to mean attacking people 'less powerful' than yourself. i'm still including unchosen circumstances in my usage
I feel like there's only a handful of people in the world who can "punch down" at a US senator currently running for vice president. I don't think any of them are hanging out in Lemmy.
You're a monster. How could you make fun of cargo shorts?
LOL it's not just me. how many women do you know who don't think cargo shorts make us look like clowns?
My mom says they make me look handsome and agrees that it's neat that I can carry all the sticks and rocks we find at the park!
you do you champ!
That's just anger and jealousy because the fashion industry takes all the pockets from women's clothes so that there will be enough for men's cargo shorts. I mean, I get that, and it doesn't seem fair, but I'm not giving up all the pockets.
which is completely justified. women get attacked for not looking perfect 100% of the time, not wearing makeup, not shaving their entire body, AND can't find any clothes that have a single functional pocket. and god forbid a gray hair shows up
meanwhile, i'm applauded for not giving a rat's ass what i look like, shaving zero square inches of any part of my body, and i have the option of clothes with ridiculous numbers of pockets. which IS an option because we don't have to worry about being attacked for not caring what anyone thinks
All true, but the answer isn't getting rid of cargo shorts
no--don't get rid of cargo shorts! i need them for my dudebro cookouts
They stop laughing when I pull an entire Chinese dinner for five out of those cargo shorts. Y'all sneak in your candy to the movies. I'll do it my way.
The liberal urge to make sure a racist misogynist narcissistic fascist is comfortable in their spaces
I don’t care about his comfort. I care about men who like to wear makeup being told to go back to their gender’s corner.
meh fuck that shit
What we should do is praise them for normalizing makeup for men.
I'm sorry but Couch-fucker McGuy-Liner is way too good not to use.
LOL stealing that, fyi
👀
Aite objectively funny. I walked right into that one lol
I fully disagree. He's only getting mocked for that because he's a "manly man" who would surely criticize others for similar things. And punish anyone who isn't cis. No one (surely some exceptions but a very small percentage) mocking him for this would ever do so if he weren't like that.
And I don't agree that it's fair game to repeat a made up lie because it's supposedly funny. That's what Republicans do.
After watching Lemmy spout conspiracy theories galore minutes after the trump shooting and also not give a single shit about this "funny meme" being false, it's really got me questioning if the left is any smarter than the right. Something I have taken for granted for decades. It's depressing.
republicans push their lies as facts. no one is trying to claim the couchfucker meme is true. it's trolling. not remotely the same thing as what republicans do. plus it's hilarious.
no, vance's new name is couchfucker, but I'm sure he appreciates you getting upset about it for him
Not everyone understands the trolling. I believed it might be based on something real for a couple days. Nope, just something that was made up. I've seen numerous people asking about it also, confused as hell...
I mean even if he really did write some shit like that, it would barely be funny enough to repeat for more than a week. But he didn't.
saying someone fucks couches is also not remotely comparable to making accusations of rigged elections, rigged judges, pushing, as fact, mountains of conspiracies, and on and on- while the top of their food chain is convicted felon and rapist
it seems ridiculous to even have to spell out these distinctions because of vance the couchfucker
Spreading false information should be avoided if you wish to be seen as being above it. That remains true no matter the content. It seems ridiculous to me that people seem to cling to the joke so hard that I need to spell that out.
So you want people to go high and drop thecouchfucker joke but mocking men for makeup is ok? How do you not see the ridiculous inconsistency here?
I explained it, it makes sense. Reject all you wish.
Thanks for your permission to openly call you a hypocritical ass.
Knock yourself out. You can pretend that this is about "men" and not about a particular man for a particular reason. Enjoy your stupid boring joke -- and the ammo you give moronic republicans who love to do the same kind of shit to democrats.
JD "Nothing finer than a sofa recliner" Vance
More cushion for the pushin!
I’m late to the party. What’s up with all that couch fucking?
Live action bigmouth confirmed, unfortunately.
He prefers the term Furniture Fondler.
I think he's a natural pairing with Donald Trump, the philanderer. They can bring one girl back home without it getting "weird."
Richard Gere's gerbil approved
Hey there's no proof of that!
It'd be hilarious if a whisper campaign about couch-fuckin' is what stopped fascism...
No, we'!re talking about the asshole who has plenty of real things to criticize without lowering ourselves to Republican-level antics by repeating random lies from some idiot's Twitter account.
lol. Peace brother/sister. Have a great day today!
Just do the real stuff like his dolphin fetish!
Really feels like Vance is being set up as the fall guy to blame when trump loses.
"If he had just picked someone else as VP, he would've won!" -conservatives in five months
It's amusing you think Republicans will do anything but say the election was stolen by the left.
Yeah, it's actually not possible for me to imagine Republicans losing the presidency again without claiming fraud. Even if saying that directly stops playing as well, they will just move onto softer language about it. Like when they went from being directly racist to claiming all problems are certain immigrants' fault.
They will "just ask questions" about particular states' results. I don't think we will come back from that. It may even bleed over to Democrats saying it eventually, just because it's so established in the zeitgeist that it's possible, some lesser thinking Dems may run with it.
Notice how none of them hesitate to do this shit now. It's because they've started to internalize that democracy is bad because it doesn't give their party the advantages they feel entitled to.
They’ll do both
They'll say both. Cognitive dissonance isn't a problem for Trump voters.
Yea. There's a word for that. It's called losing.
Vance brings no new votes to the table. He is really just there because Peter Thiel agreed to donate to the campaign if Trump made him VP. When Biden was still in, the GOP believed that the election was as good as won so they didn’t believe they need to appeal to anyone else. Now that Kamala is running, the initial reaction and polling is showing that this race isn’t going to be easy for the GOP and Vance looks like a shitty pick.
I must say that after many grueling and sometimes flat out boring and repetitive episodes, the USA show sure surprised us with this new twist.
I love it!
And JD Vance has earned all the hate MAGA is going to send his way. Bending the knee may give short term gain, but it will ultimately ruin your life and legacy, like a whole list of these lifelong Republicans. The Lindsay Graham's and Ted Cruz's who took Trump's abuse and just cowered like the pathetic people they are.
MAGA will be in the history books beside the confederates as the traitor party.
Bold of you to assume they’re ever going to admit having lost. How else will they rationalize another attempted coup?
He's a piece of shit so if they turn on him, (which we know they will) I'm good with it.
He was the bag man for Cryptobros. Trump puts him on the ticket and the money flows into the Trump campaign.
Now it's looking like a raw deal, as Trump has to spend all that new money defending his hideous little troll of a VP.
Missed a perfectly good opportunity to run a horny VP like Kristi Noem or Laura Boebert or Hope Hicks.
Still would have lost, but at least we wouldn't need Vance's mug all over the TV.
No I think Trump and team figured they had this in the bag and no need to pick anyone else that could appeal to the normies. They are all in on MAGA and gods willing it explodes in their faves
Maybe Trump will get them to hang him.
When Trump loses, what's the worse that can happen to JD Vance?
It's not like Trump is going to send a mob to kill his vice president running mate. Oh wait.
I hope mascara isn’t toxic to leopards!
As long as they lose I’m not sure I care who they blame it on.
Don't worry, the qons will always find a cop-out. This is the bunch that were suddenly full of "independents" who never even heard of this W guy after Iraq was so obviously a gigantic clusterfuck and who never even heard of this Romney guy after he got spanked by a Blah guy.
No, these people were suddenly teabaggers that were deep into this "tea party" that never was a thing before being made a thing by Faux and friends. Also, don't call them "teabaggers", they never, ever used that term for themselves (and don't go looking around for any proof of this or anything. Just believe the teabaggers, er, I mean the "tea party members" of this so-called truth).
Blame everyone but Trump.
hilarious that vance wrote an entire book blaming poor mountain people for causing their own problems and not bootstraps-ing themselves out of despair (like he did, naturally), and is now saying that biden's america is 100% to blame for those exact same problems
not to mention all the gigabytes of trash he's talked about trump, whose asshole vance is now slurping with the gusto of a dog in a steak factory
😆 It's only 0600 here. I'm gonna call it a day after reading that so that I can end on a high note.
"Vance does worse in his home region at -16 points than he does in the average of all polls… So the people who know him best, the region that knows him best, they like him even less than America likes him.”
— Polling analyst Harry Enten, on CNN
Plus, betting markets have opened up on if he'll be retained on the ticket.
Noooo we spent so much time and money messaging against him! That’s not fair!111!!
Memers should be reimbursed.
I'm not a betting man but I pretty much came to the comments to see if anyone else thought this too. "We" showed it's "ok" to drop out this close to the election so I 100% believe they're going to do the same with him and they can just have fox news say "the Democrats already did it so we're doing it to get back at them!" because if there's one thing maga loves more than beating up on (insert non cis/white/male people) it's revenge.
Actually makes me wonder whether they'll try to pressure Trump to quit, for these same reasons.
I mean, he definitely won't quit, but they might try.
Even if they weren't evil pieces of shit, they'd have every right to change the VP if they want.
So how many Scaramucci's to each Vance?
2 Trusses tops
https://polymarket.com/event/jd-vance-steps-down-as-republican-vp-nominee?tid=1721994416837
And yet he still won a Senate seat. 😬😬😬
I like him better than I like Trump, but then I want them to lose. I would vote for the corpse of Richard Nixon before I considered voting for either of them.
James Donald Bowman is his birth name. Tired of this ‘woke’ changing names agenda!
Wait.. so the Republican ticket is James Donald and Donald John? Those fucking nerds.
What if we combine them? James Donald John TRANce. Think that’ll bring out more GOP voters?
I'm up for combining them, but only if it's in some sort of weird human-centipede situation.
So where does the Vance part come in? Sounds like he wants to be an edgy pop guitar solo artist.
Let's not jump to conclusions until we get the couche's side of the story.
Would that cushion the blow?
It ought to man.
So far, soooo good.
I guess I'm dumb or ignorant, but what's the reference here?
Edit: nevermind, explained further down the thread
AP News: No, JD Vance did not have sex with a couch Archive
Ahem, they ended up pulling that article... presumably because he actually did have sex with a couch.
They pulled it because they can't actually know if he did or didn't. Good to see some journalistic integrity! Lol
Your reason is the correct one... but I am happy to keep repeating that it's because Vance is actually a sectional predator.
Can't prove a negative!
Many people are saying that JD did NOT fuck that couch. But then, many people are asking....I don't know, were you THERE?
🤣
Between you and me..... I think he did it
I both love and hate that this headline exists.
The bigger the cushion....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qDgCmzh5ao
They needed a running mate with a name similar to Pence so that Demented Donald could remember it.
I do outside sales in Ohio and I'm on the road a lot
The amount of people who have Trump / Pence signs and have put white tape over the P and E to make a V and A is ... Surreal. Like why do you still have signs from an election 8 years ago? Their house is probably full of cats and hoard and bugs. Can't wait to get updated signs?
It is a cult. Really pathetic how they hate other Americans so much they'll burn the country down to make sure they're miserable.
At least they're recycling, I guess.
I'm in California. No one who has a Trump sign is spending money for a new one.
I mean, his last VP pick had lightning powers. This one fucks couches. That's a hell of a downgrade.
lightning powers? I'm ootl
There were a lot of memes involving mike pence having lightning powers, and often fighting anything gay with electricity. IIRC this all came from him allegedly advocating for electroshock therapy as a method of conversion therapy (which snopes said is false, and that's as much research as I'm putting into a tangent on meme history)
i know about his conversion therapy thing; missed the memes apparently.
Well...if he's fucking hard enough maybe he can generate some static discharge.
Oh, I'm sure there's some discharge.
So at best the low budget version
Poor JD, his grandma really did hate him for being a burdensome piece of shit.
And for what he did to her favorite sofa. He even took off the plastic cover - just raw digging it with no protection.
If you were an extreme project 2025 republican, Vance would have been the perfect candidate assuming that 1. The democrats would throw the election by running Biden with failing health. And 2. That Trump would die of a heart attack in a few years.
I legitimately can't think of another reason why they would have picked him. The Trump campaign and project 2025 were counting on both those facts being true.
It's actually sadder. Trump doesn't want a VP that can claim any credit for his electoral victory. If he picked anyone that people will say "strengthened him", he'd hate that.
Pride goeth before the fall.
He also just wants a yes man, he REALLY didn't like that Pence found his conscience while he was cleaning up after the election and didn't go along with "the election was stolen and thus Donald Trump is still president". Vance has no political compass - he has a weathervane that points towards whatever he thinks will get him power, so that's perfect.
Yeah, but donnie is/was a project 2025 guy. Was he on board with that aspect of things? With his diet/exercise plan, maybe he is? 🤣
What are they talking about? Vance secures the couch fucker vote.
It’s amazing how much Trump got played. The democrats had to know Biden was going to drop out when they scheduled the earliest presidential debate in history. It was all a show so people would demand Biden drop out before he actually dropped out.
And not only did Trump agree to it (cause his ego told him he would dominate), now he’s picked a god awful VP pick cause he thought he knew who his opponent was.
I love this but no way our Democrat leadership thought that far ahead.
Ha, yeah. I've been a registered Democrat since I was 18. No freaking way they tried at something so hard like that.
To be fair, for all we know you're 19.
I'm more cynical about the DNC than anybody but - people daydream all the time about what could happen in the future if this or that happens. Some asshole right winger started daydreaming about taking over the Supreme Court back in the 1970s and it doesn't mean that he planned it all out but you can still think about the next few moves to be ready if the opportunity arises.
Somebody in the DNC imagined this scenario many months/years ago and talked about it to their bosses. Gaming out the possibilities and having the slide deck ready is how wild, game changing moves like this end up happening.
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
You're talking an extraordinary amount of stupidity vs a moderate amount of planning.
If this election can teach us anything, if you live in a bubble then you have some incredibly stupid blind spots.
Are you saying that the people running the Democratic Party live in a bubble?
The democratic party has as many bubbles as they have geriatric candidates. A candidate manages their staff, but the staff can also manage the candidate and it creeps into elderly abuse at a certain point. Look at Diane Feinstein or RBG: two people who should have retired but their staff didn't want to loose their relative power so they filter what their boss sees. I'm sure the same is true for Trump. Biden at least has Pelosi to pull his head from his ass and showed him the real numbers his staff wasn't showing.
You are giving way to much credit to the capability of the democratic leadership.
While I’m normally inclined to agree, this presidential debate was both historic in how early it was and historic in how bad Biden performed. There is no reason to be this aggressive about scheduling unless they know he’s either going to fail epically, or succeed epically.
The only thing historic is about how utterly convinced that people are that Biden was awful in it.
I watched the debate. He wasnt 1/100th as awful as everyone has seemingly hallucinated themselves into thinking thanks to an endless avalance of propaganda screaming "BIDEN FAILED/INCOMPETENT,HUMILIATED/ETC"
The most awful thing about the fucking debate is the moderator kept letting trump go off on rants and not correcting/stoping him. Bidens performance isnt even in the top 3.
People are allowed to have different opinions. Yours just happens to be in the minority.
Yeah, its amazing how that happens when you focus on facts and ignore groupthink and feels.
For sure, like you and I both focus on facts (even though in this case it is 100% subjective how you think he performed) and I for sure ignore groupthink and feels as well and we both have different opinions. It's ~aMaZiNg~!
I love that there's literally a video of Vance calling Trump a horrible person and they still picked him. Plus the whole couch-fucking thing. Good stuff.
A meme in our last local election for governor was, "Mark Ronchetti Fucks Dogs. Bad for dogs, bad for New Mexico."
It was hugely successful. He was actively being cyber bullied on Twitter.
Look at all those signs, maybe they can sue the GOP for a refund.
his previous VP was lame too, he wants the show all for himself
Phony, creepy, terrifying.
And Steven Cheung, you need to understand nobody represents trump who doesn't get shit on. Just saying. It's your future. Hopefully you can represent yourself at trial.
There must be a correlation with how hard campaigns double down and how close they are to actually reversing course.
Careful - you’re assigning reason, or at least logic, to the party of pizzagate, trump, a stupid failed coup, and drinking bleach.
History teaches us this is where logic and reason come to die.
There is. The more they stumble, the more they are questioned. The answers to the question cannot be anything but utmost certainty because "maybe" is simply not a message that sways anyone.
Pretty answers don't change reality though, so the stumbles continue or even increase leading to more questions and the doubling down. You just can't do anything else unless you're ready to commit to another answer.
I really think the won’t be happy with anyone for too long. That’s the problem with a cult.
Any second-in-command that was actually popular would be a threat to Trump, so that cannot be tolerated. He's got to find an uncharismatic sycophant smart enough to help him purge enemies, yet dumb enough to be incapable of plotting against him himself.
It's also so fucking funny when Trump turns on someone. Can't wait to see it happen with Vance
Is it because the couch had an abortion?
It's not too late to swap him out. Eric Trump would be a big step up!
Wow! I never thought I would see those words ever written about Eric Trump. The sad part is that it's true.
You know how some things are trashy when the poor do them, but accepted when the rich do them? Eric Trump is proof that "drinking heavily while pregnant" is one of those things.
Really?
Cause "Some Republicans..." = Bill o'-fucking-Reillys move.
"Some say... {Insert whatever the fuck}"
I don't buy it.
Trump: streams child pornography.
Headline: "RNC secures NAMBLA endorsement!"
I don't understand how they thought Vance be better against Biden.
It's not that he thought Vance was better. It's that he thought Biden was running such a weak campaign that it didn't matter who he picked as VP and he wanted the Thiel connection (and money) that Vance brings.
Also, Trump didn't want another strong vp next to him. Dictatorship 101, make sure the next closest person to power is as weak as possible.
Thank you!
Guy from the rust belt against a guy who was there before it rusted
Which is funny because the guy from the rust belt is a running mate with guy who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth before it rusted.
Cincinnati isn't really rust belt, but it's about the only corner of Ohio that isn't.
The rest of the world agrees. Funny how even the broken clock that is the current Republican party is right every now and then.
I'm glad he did, he's the best fucking player on the Left's team.
What would be really funny is if they changed jd vance after state deadlines and then their own attempts to block the Harris switch backfire