Make this thread look like it's your first day on the internet

jonathanvmv8f@lemm.ee to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 156 points –

cross-posted from: https://lemm.ee/post/41811290

I think the use of this meme format already counts as one

141

Hello fellow Net-heads. My name is Wilbur Arnofsen, I live on 326 Cherry Lane in Sansquata, Michigan, very pleased to meet you all. I’ve heard great things about the information super highway, but I’ve also heard their may be some… problematic things, things like p**nography. Does anybody know the worst sites that I should be on the lookout for to block my kids from looking at those?

Thanks, Wilbur Arnofsen III

hunter2

What did you type? All I see are asterisks

Fuck I’m old.

As a young person, who only learned about IRC a couple years ago. I am amazed that people still remember this single bash.org quote so well.

WELCOME TO RADICAL AUTONOMY'S WEBSITE!

This is soon going to be a great website all about me! Click here to see pictures of me and my friends!

A lot of friends have been asking me to fill this out. Delete the answers and repost yours!

What's Your Name? Samantha but my friends call me sam love my girls you know who you are!!!!!

What's your favorite kind of music? i listen to everything except rap and country

Who's your best friend? bree or sarah <3 <3 <3

What's your favorite band? good charlotte

Do you like anyone? maybeeeeeee loll ;)

When is the last time you saw your crush? in study hall today LOL!

Press ALT + F4 to open up the administrator window.

My car died over covid but my license plate was "I ALTF4" lol

HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPS? I THOUGH IT WAS CAPS LOCK BUT IT'S NOT. I EVEN PRESSED IT TWICE JUST TO BE SURE I'D DONE IT.

ME TOO! MY BIG BROTHER SAID IT'S CAPS UNLOCK BUT I CAN'T FIND THAT KEY ANYWHERE.

I DON'T THINK THAT THERE IS caps unlock... oh wow i did it, i did it. free T LAST ... OH NO.

AT
OK
ATDT 555-1013
DIALING
CONNECT 14400

Crap, this is not the BBS I wanted to call... welp, might as well put something on the wall.

Greetings to the older folk on Lemmy!!
:-)

Fourteen forty? You ballin! My 4800 baud ain't got shit on you!

(I can still hear the different connection handshakes)

I still have a Hayes Smartmodem 1200 here. Aluminum case and all. It's a work of art.

A useless work of art. But still...

I had to get rid of my US Robotics (freshly rebranded from... I can't remember?) 56k when I moved last time. Part of my soul was left with that modem.

This modem:

When you had some hella good shareware to download, it was always such a letdown to hear the scratchy line downshift to a lower speed trying to find a stable connection.

DON'T DELETE THIS!!! (it scared the crap outta me)

Once there was a a beautiful young girl who lived in a small town just south of Farmersburg. Her parents had to go to town for a while, so they left their daughter home alone, but protected by her dog, which was a very large collie. The parents told the girl to lock all the windows and doors after they had left. And at about 8:00pm the parents went to town. So doing what she was told the girl shut and locked evey window and every door. But there was one window in the basement that would not close completely.

Trying as best as she could she finally got the window shut, but it would not lock. So she left the window, and went back upstairs. But just to make sure that no one could get in, she put the dead-bolt lock on the basment door.

Then she sat down had some dinner and decided to go to sleep for the night. Settling down to sleep at about 12:00 she snuggled up with the dog and fell asleep.

But at one point, she suddenly woke up. She turned and looked at the clock...it was 2:30. She snuggled down again wondering what had woken her.....when she heard a noise. It was a dripping sound. She thought that she had left the water running, and now it was dripping into the drain of her sink. So thinking it was no big deal she decided to go back to sleep.

But she felt nervous so she reached her hand over the edge of her bed, and let the dog lick her hand for reasurance that he would protect her. Again at about 3:45 she woke up hearing drippping. She was slightly angry now but went back to sleep anyway. Again she reached down and let the dog lick her hand. Then she fell back to sleep.

At 6:52 the girl decided that she had had enough...she got up just in time to see her parents were pulling up to the house. "Good,"she thought. "Now somebody can fix the sink...'cause I know I didn't leave it running." She walked to the bathroom and there was the collie dog, skinned and hung up on the curtain rod. The noise she heard was its blood dripping into a puddle on the floor. The girl screamed and ran to her bedroom to get a weapon, incase someone was still in the house.....and there on the floor, next to her bed she saw a small note, written in blood, saying: HUMANS CAN LICK TOO MY BEAUTIFUL.

Now it is time for you to lock all the windows and doors. This letter is the only chain letter that is true. This did happen many years ago, and the man who killed the dog was never caught. If you delete this letter you will suffer the same fate as the girl in the story did, years after the dog was killed. She was raped and killed in the same town and same house as the dog. Do not dismiss this letter, because if you do, a horrible thing will become of you, everyone will soon know your name. But only because it will be the headline of your local newspaper for a long time. It will read... Small Town Murder On The Loose! You can not chance your luck on a chain letter so serious as this. Give up your chance to send this letter to 23 people and you will be giving up your chance to live. You were warned. I hope that I will not see any murder stories in the papers anytime soon. And now I bid you a good day. And one more thing... you only have 23 minutes... sorry.

Bikini pictures google bikini no search for pictures of goddamnit google search for bikini pictures

Someone told me to write down my credit card info and my social security here

It's 3711 1111 1111 114 and 911 on the back.
SSN 078-05-1120

Did I do this right?

5 min ago my lemmy all turned spanish....all the tabs, preferences..etc. I went into preferences and made sure they were checked to english....they were....what is going on? I cant read spanish so I am in need of some help here....i am asking you b/c I cannot find the mod help link b/c I cannot read it.

Simplemente vaya a su página de preferencias y busque la opción de idioma apropiado.

Creo que puedes cambiar eso en la configuración de idioma.

I received a chain e-mail saying that If I mail the person who sent me this $1 and forward the e-mail to all my entire contact list, I will be a millionaire. There are hundreds of email addresses in the body of this email from all the forwards that have happened before it was forwarded to me. How cool! Unrelated: how are all these spammers getting my email address? I only gave it to all my friends and family. And my friends/family only send me cool chain emails and funny jokes. e-mail is a new technology, so surly they will fix this spam problem by the year 2000.

Add me to your Friends list so we can talk about cool stuff!

Well, here we go again! The internet was supposed to be freedom, but now it's just a playground for Big Brother and corporate greed. Y'all see this Y2K “bug”? IT’S NOT A BUG, it’s a SCAM to reset everything and put us under CONTROL! Bill Gates, Al Gore, ALL of ‘em are in on it. Soon, you won’t be able to load a page without the Feds watching you.

Wake UP, people! You think AOL and Micro$oft care about "innovation"? LOL. It’s all about taking over! AOL’s already bought up Netscape! What’s next, paying to send an email? Think your ICQ is private? LOL, it’s government spyware!

And don’t get me started on the mods here. I see you silencing REAL posts about how the UN is behind all this. Keep banning me, I’ll be back! They wanna control speech before the big RESET. Mark my words, the internet will be a corporate mall by 2005, and y’all will pay just to read THIS.

P.S. If this post vanishes, you know why. I SEE YOU, MODS!

The irony with this is that they weren't entirely wrong. The internet is now a corporate mall. Welcome to Web 2.0 baby!

Badger badger badger mushroom mushroom

African snaaaaake

I always thought it was "and here comes snake" lol

According to someone in the internet here are the full lyrics:

Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger; mushroom mushroom; Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, mushroom, mushroom! A badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger; mushroom mushroom; A badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, African snake! Snake! Snake! Oooh, it's a snake! Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger; mushroom mushroom

Google.com TiddiesBigtiddieshowtogoogle Google ....

Digimon.com Neopets.com Furrypets.com Furries.com Hotfurriesforum.com Deletemyhistory.com

ReeeeeeeeeBONGghnugGHunGGhughngcrrrrrrrrrrshhhhh

Who is Jeeves and why would I ask him instead of my parents?

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How long to cook eggs.

How long to vook eggs.

Cook eggs time?

How do I send this?

How to set my standard vBulletin signature?

Ughhh, I do not miss massive profile pics and signatures... Especially when we had smaller screens with lower resolutions.

i'm only 5, but i've had enough of Regan. anyone else see Star Trek IV?

No, sorry, I don't know American Sign Language. I mean I wouldn't be against learning it, I'm just kinda lazy.

Oh, uhhhhh, 12/man/your mom

alt.lemmy.world.shitpost

Come to think of it, my first day on the internet was just over 30 years ago. How it rose and then fell!

Siri, google how do I get a cylinder unstuck from a tube without damaging the cylinder?

LOL I CANT BELIEB HOW DUM U ALL R LOL

BRB UR MOM IS CALLING ME AGAIN LOL

This isn't my usual tamagotchi chat room hosted on geocities. But I guess I manually typed it in a bit wrong. Maybe the wrong zone.