How do you *HOPE* you will die?

guyrocket@kbin.social to Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world – 83 points –

As asked.

145

"In my own bed, with a belly full of wine and a maiden's mouth around my cock, at the age of eighty."

Imagine being that maiden and having to live with the flattering, horrifying knowledge that you sucked the last life from a dying man.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my uncle, not screaming in terror like his passengers.

Not likely though.

Had a heart attack recently... while waiting for surgery, asleep, they tell me my heart stopped for eight seconds.

No clue. Woke up in the morning like usual, browsing my phone when they come in and tell me.

Hopefully just like that.

My dad died this exact same way and while doctors kept saying he didn't suffer at all because it was so quick I just thought they were being reassuring since I guess that is what they are supossed to say.

Your comment helps me to make the burden of his passing a bit lighter. Thank you.

Sorry for your loss!

Thank you, it was some years back and I am in a better place mentally but I still miss him dearly.

Death by snu snu

Well you probably starve to death lost in a giant space neandertal's vagina. Probably not as good as you think.

I should die due to my own negligence, playing fast and loose with custom firmware for my cyber heart at the age of 300.

Your cyber heart requires an update and needs to restart on completion. This may take a while.

Casualty of the heat death of the universe

Entropy reaching 1.0 will take a really long time. You sure you wanna be hanging around for several quadrillion years given cosmological inflation? That’s a whole lotta nothing for a whole lotta time…

I dunno about the guy you responded to, but speaking for myself, that might actually give me enough time to play through my Steam backlog.

Peacefully in my sleep, like the guy in the joke, and not like the passengers of his car.

in one-on-one combat with a God while stealing something forbidden for humanity.. if that's still a thing..

2 more...

I'll never forget asking my father this question as a kid, and he answered without hesitation, "A bullet to the head." Fast-forward a few decades and that's how he went out by the firearm he carried to protect his family, causing more harm than any mugger or assailant could have caused if he was unarmed. Take care of yourself fellow lemms and dont dwell on death, focus on living a life you dont want to leave behind and keep pushing your Boulder up the hill regardless of how many times it rolls back down.

At age 92.

From a gunshot wound.

Fired by an outraged husband.

With the heat death of the universe in some full dive vr utopia.

At an old age peacefully after having a satisfying life

Preferably before neurological decline sets in as I'd prefer to not go like I've seen so many others go; forgetting the faces of their loved ones

I'd also hope that I will have left happy memories with those that would remember me after I've passed. Stories they'd love to tell people. Stories their grandkids would love to hear.

That and other paintful things is why I am already (as a 17 year old) planning a suicide at 90 or when dementia starts (if i survive that long).

I used to know a man who made it to 107

He was fully coherent until the end

He passed away on his own terms after his doctor told him his cancer was back in full swing and more aggressive than before.

I still miss that old man telling his stories about growing up and then raising kids during the Great Depression. Or him talking about his older brother passing away during The Great War (WWI). Or talking about watching the moon landing with his grandkids. Or one of my favorite stories of him: how him and I used to race to the rhubarb and gooseberry pies at the restaurant I worked at.

His wake after he passed had literally hundreds of people. He impacted so many peoples lives in a positive way.

Stick around for awhile, you may make it longer than you think. And even in old age you may meet people who you have a massive impact on their lives.

As peacefully and painlessly as possible. Preferably as little inconvenience to others as well. I hope to have all my affairs well in order and they better not pay money to put me in a box in the ground. I've told every family member I can. Donate what you can to others if possible and donate the rest to science for some med students to get practice.

Slowly over the course of months hooked up to every device to keep me "alive" in the ICU because my shitty relatives can't let me go otherwise they won't get to steal my social security checks every month. /s

Or peacefully while watching the sunrise over a beautiful snow capped mountain rage.

False vacuum decay.

No pain or suffering, no worry about it coming, just instantaneous non-existence at literally the speed of light.

The big problem is it would be all of humanity (and everything else) and not just myself.
So not actually something I hope happens, just that if I have to die...

Similar would be being at the center of a large explosion or implosion - I understand that the passengers on that one submarine likely didn't have time to experience anything.

I love the optinism of your line 'if I have to die' :)

Until i die i am immortal, no one has any proof to the contrary.

The gforces I aquire after miscalculating my trajectory while testing my space engine and gaining too much momentum on my slingshot off of Jupiter.

My personal immortality testing is still in human trial but it's shown promising results so far!

Quickly. No need to drag it out for months or years.

In debt, in love and a bit drunk.

I don't know whos that is, but it's the best. But more in line with the question : I want to see it come. That is my wish.

Ideally, gently and without fear but aware. Second choice, while asleep and dreaming, just step into death. I don't want to lose my mind while alive and don't want a jarring death.

Don't guess we get to choose, though. Or if we do choose it's never so gentle and fearless.

Oh I forgot to mention, if we can have literally any death and not just any possible death, I want to disincorporate exactly like Odin does in Thor Ragnarok.

Just any painless method.

Originally, my favorite was inert gas asphyxiation. Based on previously found info, it seemed like the best option, just falling asleep and dying. Of course I was aware of the main risk: running out of the inert gas and again getting oxygen. That could result in permanent severe brain damage.
However I later found even worse stuff. Veterinarians apparently stopped using this method as the animals were showing severe signs of distress, meaning that it perhaps wouldn't be as painless.
Finally, there was a nitrogen hypoxia execution in Alabama recently:

Smith appeared to remain conscious for several minutes. For at least two minutes, he appeared to shake and writhe on the gurney, sometimes pulling against the restraints. That was followed by several minutes of heavy breathing, until breathing was no longer perceptible.

Source: AP News

Thus I finally ruled this out.

They fucked it up, he held his breath and caused himself pain because of course he didn't want to die and it's barbaric to kill people. But also, those spams that happened are after you have already lost consciousness

There's no such thing as a nice peaceful death. I've witnessed what people medically consider the "die peacefully in your sleep". People still spasms and throw fists and kicks after losing consciousness. It usually just happens when no one is watching and lasts only for a minute or so while the brain stops working completely.

Yeah, maybe don't take the utterly sadistic version designed by cruel people for maximum suffering, as a reference for how things normally work.

The only legal solution to commit assisted suicide, in Switzerland, uses nitrogen hypoxia for a reason.

As a matter of fact, the founder of exit international even flew to Florida before Christmas, as an attempt to stop the execution. Coming from a fervent supporter of people's right "to be able to plan for the end of their life in a way that is reliable, peaceful & at a time of their choosing", that should tell you everything you need to know about the execution. It was made horrible, purposely.

Cardiac arrest in my sleep somewhere between 60 and 70.

I want to live a long and happy life, accomplish as much as I could expect to and love generously...

...and then that one scene from Final Destination 2 with the falling pane of glass.

In a way that destroys my brain instantly.

I literally don't care about anything else I just don't want to feel any pain.

Quietly, peacefully, and when I'm ready. All my experience of death has been unpleasant and traumatic, and I'd really like mine to just be ok. I know it's a lot to hope for though.

Completely unaware of my impending fate, in some way that my cats will have uninterrupted care.

So, in your sleep and then they eat your face while they wait for housekeeping?

If my cats eat me after I'm dead, what do I care? And I've actually discussed this with my friends and they know I'm okay with it and not to blame the cats.

@athos77 I'm not trying to monkey paw you.

I always say to my cat, if anything happens to us, remember you can eat us. It's actually reassuring in a way.

Oh, I didn't think you were! It's just I know that with wild animals, they'll kill them if they eat humans, and I've known people who are squicked out by the idea of having a pet that might've eaten someone. And I wanted to (a) let my friends know it was okay with me and (b) feel out their opinions in case someone would be squicked out if it happened. I know that is incredibly unlikely to ever happen, but it is a possibility and I wanted to account for that in whatever arrangements I set up for the cats.

@athos77 that's really smart.

My elderly mother used to say her beloved cat helped her to remember to be super careful about falls "because otherwise I'll be lying on the floor and Puss here will eat me".

When I’m good and fucking ready.

Instantly somehow. Or in some kind of heroic last stand situation.

Fulfilled. I literally do not care about how violent or painful my death would be, I just want to feel like I contributed to our society, that my life had a purpose.

Fast.

My father spent his last years in a hospital, gradually getting weaker and weaker. After two years he decided enough was enough and refused food, water or medicine. He had so little fat on his body at that point that it only took three days to starve himself into a coma and then death. I helped the funeral director move his body out to her van. He'd been in a foetal position so long we couldn't unbend him to lie flat on the trolley.

Actually, I'd like to amend that. Fast and in bed with a pair of 19-year old twins.

With unfinished business, I get to hang around as a ghost for another couple of hundred years.

In all seriousness though, preferable on my own terms. Maybe euthanasia at an old age, where I feel like I've lived enough and just want to move on. I'd celebrate life with my partner (if they're still alive) and our children, wish them the best with everything and then... exit. Though, knowing my partner (and myself), it'd probably be a double euthanasia when we're both ready for it. I couldn't bear to give that kind of farewell to them and I doubt they'd be any different.

In any case, the last thing I want is to be clinging on to life with every last ounce of my strength and have a miserable couple of last years because of it. Especially if it means I'd be a burden to everyone around me in the process.

Meteorite.

Like, just cruising along and then a meteorite no bigger than a pebble randomly selects me to be their target, obliterating me on the spot. Hopefully in a crowded public place to get the biggest reaction.

That shit would be hilarious.

Last night would have been great, had the best ending possible.

Like, as long as it is quick and riding a high.

At the same time as my wife after my daughter has established herself and no longer needs us. I don't want to be here, but they need me right now. As soon as they don't, I'm out.

Peacefully, with all my mental faculties at the ripe old age of 1,834.

I want my death to be something remarkable that people remember as a really weird event. Nothing violent - just remarkable.

Peacefully, in my sleep.

But if I die at the hands of the state, I want you all to politicise the fuck out of it. None of this "not the right time" nonsense. It will be exactly the right time and you fuckers better make sure my death counts.

While sleeping after an awesome day when I feel like I got what I wanted from life.

Just a massive heart attack. Just a few seconds of incredible pain then lights out. But I'm probably gonna have a massive stroke (thanks COVID) and be a drooling idiot for another ten years before I die.

In a submarine deep in an ocean trench or near a big blast, worst case nitrogen gas with an opiate and maybe a little bzd twist

Violently and painfully

Why?

I don't want it to last a long time, i just want to really feel it. Don't want to miss out on my own death by being asleep or something

At the age of 69 while 69'ing

Nonviolently would be nice. And I’d like it to not involve famine, drought, or natural disaster if at all possible. Idk I think I could handle a heart attack in my later decades if that’s good with everyone.

I think, being blown up by a bomb close by is slightly nicer than a heart attack.

Yeah but that would involve being somewhere bombs are and that sounds worse than the heart attack.

I always thought falling from a plane would be interesting. Scary, yes, but you have a few minutes to accept the inevitable. You would also have some hope to McGyver your way out of it, by trying to slow down your fall and land in a deep body of water. People have survived it.

I would probably close my eyes the last few seconds though.

Water is like concrete at terminal velocity, your best bet is to aim for a tree.

I have an appointment for a massive coronary in my late 60s, and I'd hate to miss it.

Either a warriors death, defending my family and my death meaning something, saving someone, or at 120 years old of age, while in bed surrounded by family.

Awake, minimal pain and reasonable mental acuity intact form my age. I want to experience the transition!

Peacefully surrounded by family and friends. If that's not an option, then I want to get killed by a falling piano.

Once that I finish my backlog of games, books, comics, mangas, TV shows, anime, movies, places to drive/visit... I can go on.