Tucker Carlson claims he was mauled by a demon while asleep, leaving claw marks

MicroWave@lemmy.world to politics @lemmy.world – 601 points – Tucker Carlson claims he was mauled by a demon while asleep, leaving claw marks
the-independent.com

Summary

Former Fox News host Tucker Carlson claimed he was “physically mauled” by a demon in his sleep, leaving claw marks on his body, which he says are still visible. Carlson described waking with intense pain, bleeding claw marks, and an overwhelming urge to read the Bible. He recounted the experience as confusing yet transformative, adding that while he doesn’t expect others to believe him, the incident profoundly impacted him.

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At the time, Carlson says, he was asleep in bed with his wife – and four dogs.

I have an alternate theory about those claw marks...

I watched that video, and had he just stuck to being suddenly awake and having claw marks I would have thought there was something odd. But he led with having four dogs in the bed, so when he said he had claw marks...dear lord, he's either trying too hard to play to some niche audience, or he's really that stupid. At least make the story sound plausible...we know you can lie, why didn't you just leave off some details here to sell it better.

Ever since he got kicked off Fox, he's been making the pivot to the hard right audience, which includes the narrative that they're in a spiritual war against the literal devil.

It's the same conspiracy-laden bullshit that Alex Jones pushes.

It's Jon Stewart's fault. Tucker never recovered from that jab about the bow tie.

And he never wore a bow tie after that. Lol.
If anything, Tucker needs another sit-down with Jon

And we got Trump cause Obama roasted him so hard he was afraid no one would think he was white anymore.

Maybe ridiculing fascists isn't the best way to treat them.

You're correct, actually.

i don't understand how lemmy works. this meme obviously suggest killing fascists, which is in fact, the correct answer. but if i say "we should kill fascists" they'll delete my comment. WTF? say it in a meme, because that's somehow, different?

Yeah, I don't know when "Trump ran for president because he was so thoroughly emasculated by Obama" and "You can't shame the shameless out of fascism" became such hot takes.

You can shame them, just not for anything they should feel shamed about. Jabs about very facile facets of their masculinity? shamed. Dragged through the ringer because they are rapists? No shame.

Ridiculing Fascists is the best way to treat them. They're fragile little snowflakes and can not handle being the butt of the joke. Why do you think aside from journalists and politicians, comedians also get censored or imprisoned first when fascists take over?

So the problem with Trump is that he's not being ridiculed enough? The orange-skinned, diaper wearing, wispy-pube-haired, tiny hands, mushroom dick, broke-ass billionaire wanna-be, so cheap he won't even bother to have his suits tailored, neck-gina, "dumbest goddamn student I ever had", can't drink water, nuke hurricanes, salutes North Korean generals, paper towel throwing, bleach-drinking, UV light up the asshole, bigliest, yugliest, covfefe bunker bitch will go away if we just make fun of him?

If you think you can stop the fascist by calling him Mango Mussolini or Agolf Shitler more, fucking go for it. Comedians get imprisoned by fascists because they hurt their feelings- but that doesn't stop fascism, or else they wouldn't have ended up in prison.

Right, Trump's fragile ego voted him into office 🤨

There are a lot of contributing factors. Obama making fun of him might have seen him run for office, but without all the enablers along the way carrying him on he would have collapsed a few steps in, fucked off to go eat a gourmet Happy Meal and told himself (and anyone in earshot) how brave and strong he is for running in the first place.

Ridicule may have lit the fuse, but the powder was there long before.

The dude used to wear a bow tie, unironically, and in public no less, so...

Bowties are cool.

The bowtie wasn't the problem.

It's the person that makes it uncool.

I'd argue that the fact that he stopped wearing the bowties when he was mocked for it says more about him than the bowties do.

It absolutely does. Jon knew it would have to be something low to get under his skin and he was right.

I've been rocking a bowtie for a while, and my wife loves it. Maybe it's that his were clipons.

I bet it's deliberate. Like a power play knowing his story is clearly bullshit but the morons he's appealing to are believing it making him feel even more superior.

Occam's Razor? Naw, it's gotta be Occam's Jewish Space Laser.

Yeah, if I were married to Tucker Carlson I'd be pretty messed up too.

We know his wife didn't leave them in the throes of passion, that's for sure

Dude, even small dogs can hog some serious space. 4 dogs? I'm surprised there's any room left for the fucker and his wife. He probably got scratches falling out of bed.

"I went to bed and woke up next to this unconscious woman... I was in my bed with the wife and dogs at the time, so she must've been a demon."

Tucker Carlson and JD Vance had rough normal gay guy sex and he's getting ahead of any story and saying it was demon assault.

I can also take part in conspiracies

It's why JD Vance's pimp handlers slather him in makeup and eyeliner to keep Tucker interested in MAGA. All funded from the top down by Elon Musk who eats babies in a failed and desperate attempt to stay young.

That's why he makes that many, he has to start numbering them in Xenu...

Hey, Christians who believe in demonic possession: How come it's only y'all getting possessed and not my heathen, atheist ass who literally invites the demons in?

Your atheist ass is inviting people in you say?

I’m not sure if this was a literal invitation, but I’ll poke my head out.

It depends on how you interpret scripture. I was raised in a “non-literalist” faith, and some of these beliefs have come to interpret references to “demons,” and what not, being misconstrued as mental illnesses. I believe Richard Dawkins coined the phrase “God of the Gaps” which is not too dissimilar to what is happening in this case.

So the non-faithful, along with the faithful, could still be afflicted, technically, however I’m fairly confident mental health treatment may be better for them over “driving out the demon” so to speak. Though some denominations would call it heresy for me to say that. Lmao.

As for Tucker… I’m skeptical he cares for the Word. He certainly doesn’t act as though he does, in my view.

I'm actually surprised I haven't been hit with a "you're already going to hell, why would the demons possess you?" from the literalist theists that might be on Lemmy, to be honest.

Maybe — such a line of thinking confuses me, and I’ve seen some stuff online similar to that before. It’s simply not helpful nor Christlike. In my view, one’s faith shouldn’t be wielded self-righteously and or in judgment of others.

Edit: and vs or.

As I understand it, Carlson wasn't much of a man of faith before this either.

Colombian here - as you might know, most people here are catholic.

A bit of story.

My mother says her eldest brother was like the evil on earth. He raped her younger sisters, used to beat up all of them – his younger brother grew up with serious mental issues because of that, and now we are having issues trying to get him into an asylum because, again, third world problems - stole the house and land of their parents (which wasn't a lot, but left my mother and her sisters with nothing when their father died) and even treated violently my grandmother. I never got to know my grandparents because they died when my mother was young.

So my mother says one night my grandmother was really ill and this person (I have never seen him, not even in pictures) arrived home and beat her up and went to sleep. Then allegedly "the spirits" ("las almas") came when he was asleep and beat him up so hard he screamed and woke everyone up - like they could see how "the spirits" lifted him across the room and hit him violently, but never could see any of those "spirits".

A few weeks or months after that my grandmother died and all of my aunts had to get miserable jobs trying to survive and this bastard still showed up from time to time to steal the few bucks they could earn.

Eventually all of them (except my uncle) got married and all of them but the elder sister never saw him ever again.

Now I'm atheist and don't believe in this kind of stuff, but the saying is that "the souls" do that kind of thing to really awful people. So if Carson's incident is true (and if "the souls" exist and are able to do that), now you may have a possible explanation for that.

"I got attacked while I was asleep with my wife and four dogs and mauled, physically mauled." ... "I have no idea what happened."

lol

This is the level of critical thinking that conservative pundits are exercising.

4.. FOUR Dogs? Imagine the smell...

I'm actually a bit jealous of his sleeping situation. I don't mind dogs being "dirty" and I'd prefer 4 dogs (and maybe a wife) to sleeping alone.

Plus he's rich so nbd to have a huge bed and have your dogs groomed every other day.

He claims the dogs were sleeping but, who knows. 🤷‍♂️

People are saying it's the dogs, but given that it's Tucker Carlson I think it's far more likely that he's just flat out lying.

If forced to wager, split money between affair and prostitute. Longshot: beaten up by old school influencers.

I dunno. If anyone has the servants of darkness hanging out at their home, it's this guy.

Sounds like he assaulted someone and that news is about to come out. He is preempting that.

You're telling me this is a real story like in a real news source?

JFC

The fun is this for me is the thought that a supernatural force attacked you in your sleep, you claim it to be a Christian/religious force, and yet at no point does he acknowledge/reflect that maybe his actions may cause scrutiny by his religious beliefs.

Thought process?: "My God created everything, including deamons sent to attack me personally, clearly I am doings gods work"

Yeah seriously! Why does it have to be a Christian supernatural force? It could just be Baba Yaga "reaching out" as it were, to a kindred spirit.

Why couldn't it be the fae trying to pull him into their world? Or perhaps an evil yokai finally tracked him down?

Maybe his original soul escaped the mirror dimension and was trying to claw its way back into his body!

Jesus Buttfucking Christ these people are nuts.

If this is true, what did he do to deserve this. This doesn't just happen to a good god fearing person. So I guess the real question is, what did he do to deserve this.

This doesn't just happen to a good god fearing person. Why would this happen if he DIDN'T deserve this. Clearly he lost favor with the good lord and has opened himself up to the devil to be possessed by a demon.

As someone who was raised in a very evangelical household: the (non)-answer is that it happened to him in order to tempt him or test him or some shit. If it happens to a non-god-fearing individual, it's deserved, otherwise it's God's plan all along. Because moving the goal posts is just way too easy.

The real answer is Tucker Carlson is either actually insane or hardcore grifting, but I'm probably preaching to the choir here going down that rabbit hole lol.

I figured my comment would be countered with “justification” as to why. Not you but your explanation and yea preaching my friend.

No you see he is like Job in the Bible!!! He's so righteous God is testing him with demons!!!!

-his fans probably

Job has to be one of the more disgusting stories in the Bible... It was the one that I read/was taught about in church as a teen that first made me go "wait a second...".

From the first time I heard that story, it never sat well with me, and not a single adult was ever able to give me a satisfactory explanation for why it was OK for god to straight up destroy this poor man's life (a man who was already super dedicated to this god), including literally killing his innocent family, over some petty bet with the actual devil.

That really opened my eyes to what the OT god really was in that book, and I did not like what I saw.

True. I know there will always be a justification and it would be a hard fight to change the minds of those who are being grifted.

I see he's taking a page from Alex Jones's bible.

Anyway, what are the chances that someone's going to come forward that Carlson assaulted them and they fought back? Just asking questions.

Alex Jones’s bible

I shudder to think what that thing is filled with.

But, man, you're never going to get any truth from us. We'll tell you anything you want to hear; we lie like hell. We'll tell you that, uh, Kojak always gets the killer, or that nobody ever gets cancer at Archie Bunker's house, and no matter how much trouble the hero is in, don't worry, just look at your watch; at the end of the hour he's going to win. We'll tell you any shit you want to hear. We deal in illusions, man! None of it is true! But you people sit there, day after day, night after night, all ages, colors, creeds... We're all you know. You're beginning to believe the illusions we're spinning here. You're beginning to think that the tube is reality, and that your own lives are unreal. You do whatever the tube tells you! You dress like the tube, you eat like the tube, you raise your children like the tube, you even think like the tube! This is mass madness, you maniacs! In God's name, you people are the real thing! WE are the illusion! So turn off your television sets. Turn them off now. Turn them off right now. Turn them off and leave them off! Turn them off right in the middle of the sentence I'm speaking to you now! TURN THEM OFF... [collapses in a prophetic swoon as the audience erupts in thunderous applause]

Howard Beale, Network (1976)

That movie was so very prescient. This -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuBe93FMiJc

You have meddled with the primal forces of nature, Mr. Beale, and I won't have it!! Is that clear?! You think you've merely stopped a business deal. That is not the case. The Arabs have taken billions of dollars out of this country, and now they must put it back! It is ebb and flow, tidal gravity! It is ecological balance!

You are an old man who thinks in terms of nations and peoples. There are no nations. There are no peoples. There are no Russians. There are no Arabs. There are no third worlds. There is no West. There is only one holistic system of systems, one vast and immane, interwoven, interacting, multivariate, multinational dominion of dollars. Petro-dollars, electro-dollars, multi-dollars, reichmarks, rins, rubles, pounds, and shekels.

It is the international system of currency which determines the totality of life on this planet. That is the natural order of things today. That is the atomic and subatomic and galactic structure of things today! And YOU have meddled with the primal forces of nature, and YOU WILL ATONE!

Am I getting through to you, Mr. Beale?

You get up on your little twenty-one inch screen and howl about America and democracy. There is no America. There is no democracy. There is only IBM and ITT and AT&T and DuPont, Dow, Union Carbide, and Exxon. Those are the nations of the world today.

What do you think the Russians talk about in their councils of state -- Karl Marx? They get out their linear programming charts, statistical decision theories, minimax solutions, and compute the price-cost probabilities of their transactions and investments, just like we do.

We no longer live in a world of nations and ideologies, Mr. Beale. The world is a college of corporations, inexorably determined by the immutable bylaws of business. The world is a business, Mr. Beale. It has been since man crawled out of the slime. And our children will live, Mr. Beale, to see that perfect world in which there's no war or famine, oppression or brutality -- one vast and ecumenical holding company, for whom all men will work to serve a common profit, in which all men will hold a share of stock, all necessities provided, all anxieties tranquilized, all boredom amused.

And I have chosen you, Mr. Beale, to preach this evangel.

This all obviously ridiculous but... I grew up with a family that 100% believed in spiritual warfare. My parents were more willing to believe my brother was possessed than to believe he needed psychiatric help. My Dad had the church elders pray over me when I had whooping cough, asking God to cast out the demon that had so obviously latched onto my 10 year old lungs. I regularly saw people at my church who would claim to have seen fantastical things.

Tucker is simply appealing to his base. The mass groups of people who truly believe they are warriors for Christ engaged in a life and death struggle for the soul of the whole world. There are thousands of them and they believe you and I as unbelievers are at best, unwittingly helping the enemy and at worst, willful vessels of the literal devil.

I wouldn't be shocked if Tucker Carlson 100% believed what he's saying. The groupthink in those circles is difficult to break out of.

I bet he tried to fuck one of those dogs and this is his excuse. "Oh no honey I didn't try to fuck the dog again...it was...democr...no wait...demons...yeah it was a demon gang bang and I beat them off."

sleep paralysis combined with he sleeps with dogs and they have nails. next.

Sleep paralysis was likely what people would later claim to each other was a nighttime demon encounter back in the 1750s So it's accurate to Tucker and the GOP who just want to burn witches

The idea that a demon (or even better, Satan himself) would waste their time scratching random people or possessing them just to make them float over their bed or vomit pea soup has always been amusing to me. That's a super weak "ultimate evil" your religion has, Christians.

If they really wanted to be scary they would amass 99.9% of the worlds wealth amongst 1% of the population and horde it all while killing the planet and bribing politicians in a vein attempt at being happier.

Dude that's called domestic abuse, and you probably deserved it.

Or maybe he forgot to take off his Freddy Kruger hallowe'en costume before jerking off to gay porn.

I bet this was said to cover for crimes he may have committed as christisn judges will definitely see it as a legit defense. Or he is fucking stupid.

"You don't belong here Tucker, you have to come back home"

Carlson trying to scapegoat Lucifer after his underaged boyfriend got a little carried away.

A loan out of one of Lindsey Graham’s ladybugs 🐞 I bet

Former Fox News host Tucker Carlson claimed he was “physically mauled” by a demon in his sleep, leaving claw marks on his body, which he says are still visible.

next time he shouldn't use teeth and make sure you cup the balls, Mr. Carlson.

Oh is this it, are we inches from rock bottom? Losing it and or lying more desperately for attention?

Genuine demonic encounter or Ambien, plus or minus alcohol, and pissing off the cat? Just asking questions, Tucker!

Well, he did say he was sleeping in bed with his four dogs so I can think of at least four different places he could have got the claw marks.

I'm pretty sure demons have better taste than to want to deal with TC.

Maybe he should take up that urge to read the Bible. And pay attention to what he’s reading. Maybe start with the gospel of Mark, and not Genesis.

I can't believe I almost ate a non-existent onion.

Tucker Carlson fights his demons. I would give this show a chance even though I really hate the guy. If he does a whole Spike from Buffy arc... It could work. [Sarcasm]

We call this sort of thing 'foreshadowing', Tucker. It's never too late to distance yourself from the covetous bible salesman

Demons LOVE the Bible so this makes PERFECT Sense!

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