K-pop star apologises to angry fans for having a boyfriend

Hellfire103@lemmy.ca to Not The Onion@lemmy.world – 545 points –
K-pop star Karina apologises to angry fans after it emerges she is in a relationship with actor Lee Jae-wook
news.sky.com
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This is just monetising incels, isn't it?

Yes, but this is happening in the states too yet we don't have this kind of insanity. For example, onlyfans is basically a website dedicated to monetizing incels. But there's an implicit understanding that those actresses have their own lives. For some reason, in S.Korea they're not allowed to have their own lives. It's bizarre no matter how you look at it.

Not really.

Onlyfans is more or less a strip club. It is not (just) about seeing titties. It is about "the fantasy". Ask any stripper and the best possible "gimmick" is to be "working my way through (grad/law/nursing/whatever) school" since that lets clients feel like they are "saving" you.

And, on a surface level, that is similar. Pop Idol better not have a boyfriend because she is a permanent virgin and blah blah blah.

But that is where it ends. Because the guy who starts getting overly possessive of a stripper/sex worker/OF model/whatever? We, as a society, think they have issues and there is usually a support structure to get them away from the person they are going to stalk.

Whereas with k-pop (and, to a somewhat lesser extent, j-pop and the like): The support structure encourages that mindset and punishes the performer for daring to ruin "the fantasy". And, as can be seen here and every other time this happens, "society" encourages that.

And... South Korea is so fucked that it makes Japan look like a good place to be a woman. Like, it is a genuine problem to the point that voice actresses have gotten "cancelled" because someone thought they made a rude gesture that insults men.

TBH, the strippers I've known IRL were actually doing that. One of them got a degree from a pricey art school and now is a VP at an advertising firm (she started as a photographer, moved up to graphic design, then art direction...). I'm acquainted with one that has a day job as an attorney and does it because she both enjoys it, and it pays better than most legal jobs.

Yeah. One of my best friends literally stripped her way through law school.

But it is also just a bog standard thing to say during a lap dance or whatever. "oh, I'm just doing this until I get through veterinary school" and so forth.

Whenever I went to the strip club, my mind was focused on the tittues and asses. I couldn't care less why they were stripping other than for money.

But that's just me.

They're literally enforcing with their culture all of the shit that's bad about prostitution which we prohibit prostitution for, but without all the fun of paying for sex.

I mean there are a lot of dudes who do not have this "implicit understanding." the difference is more in how normalized it is.

Ever heard of Grant Amato? This dude did not have any implicit understanding of anything whatsoever.

For anyone interested here is a video. Go to 34:20 for this guy's fucked up story. Wavywebsurf did a section on him and this guy... Just wow...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9IuG1GTAV0

And he is considered a massive creep and the same level of freaks how as most "true crime" (speaking of: it is generally bad form to use the names of people like that because it is just giving them recognition).

As opposed to the norm and the expected behavior.

No, not just incels but hardcore fans and lonely people in general. The marketing strategy of pretending to be single with the goal of seeming somehow available is not gender or country specific and is used in pop music a lot. It´s all about creating a projection screen for fantasies and dreams to increase sales. Just think of boy bands in the 90s.

I hereby apologize to all women for being married and off the market these last 17 years. Don't worry, you didn't miss anything special.

You mother fucker. I hope you're happy. I hope you're REAL FUCKING HAPPY.

I hope that woman brings you a fucking LIFETIME of joy and comfort after that colossal fuck up. Yeah. I hope you both love each other and live in one another hearts for a hundred years and then DIE AT THE SAME TIME. you asshole.

SO much THIS. The two of them FUCKING DESERVE each other!!!11one
HAVE A NICE LIFE, SEE YOU AGAIN NEVER!

The whole idol culture is fucked up and unhealthy to say that least.

Hyper capitalist emotional exploitation.

Take a normal human emotion, feed it through a system optimized to wring out profit, this is what is left.

Yes clearly there are no biological reasons why a person would want to have sex with someone else who is attractive

I'm not sure I follow your meaning.

"Wanting to have sex with someone else who is attractive" is "a normal human emotion," as the commenter above you acknowledged. I don't think anyone would deny that there's a fundamental biological mechanism at work there.

Being outraged that a performer you've never met (who has no personal obligation to you) is in a relationship, and then having your outrage justified by an apology? That's not the same. That's not just biology. That's culture. It's the result of taking the "biological reason" - or "normal human emotion" - and wringing it through a targeted marketing campaign and culture of idolatry designed to cultivate unhealthy parasocial relationships for the sole purpose of extracting profit.

Humans are capable of having a serious crush on a prominent person they've never met. And the system exploits this. The stars themselves are not innocent of this either. They know how they are perceived and they like the money, and some like the (normal) attention. This goes for both male and female stars.

In the end, they are the ones getting dressed up and going on stage to move their bodies for the pleasure of the crowd. There are plenty of other ways to make money in a capitalist system. You can't blame capitalism. The stars chose the life.

I've never studied it, so I'm curious if this phenomenon occurs in true Marxist/Leninist societies, which many people see as the opposite of capitalism. Surely stars still exist? Money still exists in those societies and surely people spend it on entertainers.

Changing the system won't stop it. The only way to stop producers and entertainers from exploiting base human emotions is to outlaw exploiting base human emotions, and man... any government with the absolute power to do that is going to be dystopian. But, hey, ads would be outlawed!

The "victims" themselves—the lonely guys at home being brainwashed into falling in love with a star—are also not blameless since they allowed themselves to be put in that position by consuming that kind of media.

People are barely evolved apes. We won't figure this shit out for another million years of evolution. We have emotions. Everyone exploits them and allows themselves to be exploited. Plenty of blame to go around.

I'm just high and rambling. Don't take anything I said too seriously, because I don't believe any of it with any real conviction.

™Whatever the hell that means.

(I don't know how to type a dagger on my phone, so I hope you liked my footnote mark. It kinda felt appropriate. Almost don't even need the footnote.)

The enterntainment industry as a whole (from music over movies up to professional sports, even literature to a degree) shows just how depraved our society is (is and was, not "has become", we were always shit).

I really don't get the mindset of these people, neither do they know their celebrity crush nor will they ever get an actual chance. It does make no difference to them. They could just as well fantasize about their crush leaving their partner for them.

i call it the dark side of idolism.

its a way to extract money very well, but it creates a toxic environment

Simping is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.

Women aren't allowed to have any sex, the sluts.

They can only have sex with me and I want them to do slutty stuff, BUT ONLY WITH ME.

Yeah but most of them rather fantasize how the boyfriend of their crush is railing her regularly and she is enjoying it. Not sure why.

See, I don't get that either. Almost all K-Pop stars get railed regularly, I'm pretty sure of that. They are good looking people and if they like sex they sure as hell get some. How delusional are these people?

I’m not sure which is more unbelievable:

That a bunch of mouthbreathing simps would think they’re owed an apology because a young girl wants to live her life as her own, or that these dirtbags actually received one.

This is shameful.

It happens both in Japan and Korea..this is really insane. There was a celebrity weather forecaster girl in Japan and when she was discovered outrage was crazy

"Discovered" even sounds slimy. Like they don't ever think that is a person? It's a weird objectification to me.

It disrupts the parasocial relationship that the entire country is having with her. It's not healthy for anyone involved.

It's happening in a smaller scale as a Twitch streamer parasocial relationships too. Although not as extreme as the idol culture in Japan and Korea. But the simps in the west can go to crazy length too. E.g. Belle Delphine bathwater stunt.

That's the difference between the East and the West "idol" culture.

Tay Swift would just tell those guys to go suck a big one.

The Korea's idol industry treat their stars like livestock. Milking them for every penny they can. No doubt she was forced to apologize by her management company.

This was her trying to not end up in the hate lists. It’s a big problem in Korea and if you end up in the wrong end of the public’s attention you’re in trouble.

Can you elaborate on the nature of the trouble?

There’s a pattern that occurs in Korea: person becomes known, person becomes popular, people become obsessed. Then in a very incel way, a group reacts strongly to something random and unimportant that popular person did. This hate goes viral and suddenly millions after joining in. Next thing you know the popular person is in hiding under guard or has to leave the country. Then everyone forgets the whole thing and it’s like nothing ever happened except a few people having their lives ruined for no reason.

I don’t know enough to explain anything here, I’ve just seen a lot of articles like this.

leave the country

Surely that's hyperbole right? Right?

You don't become a K-POP star just because you're pretty and sing well. These people also come from money and people with money in Korea typically have sent children to live in the US/Canada/Europe to get a bachelors degree. Many stay, blah blah blah. Point is, if you have money, you have somewhere to escape to.

Leaving the country is unreasonable but hiding under protection of guards 24/7 isn't? They're not criminals wanted across the world, just wanted in their home country.

It's a feedback loop. A lot of these fans have mysoginistic views, so they demand the impossible from women, the involved corporations have no humanist values, so they reproduce these impositions, which validates those views, which in turns provokes that a lot of these fans have mysoginistic views, so they demand the impossible from...

It might be misogyny, but a huge chunk of it is their entertainment industry. Managers try to control every aspect of their performers' lives.

It's a part of kpop. I remember listening to a podcast about how some of these kpop kids get molded and it focused on a boy band that were discouraged from dating, and if they did date it must be secret. I guess one of the more famous boy singers got found out and it basically became like a national scandal.

K-pop agencies are reportedly keen to promote their stars as romantically obtainable, while in Japan many pop stars have "no dating" clauses in their contracts.

Wouldn't being banned from dating make you the opposite of "romantically obtainable"?

The fans can fantasize about meeting them and they being so smitten that they defy the clause for the fan. There is also an element of collective ownership. If nobody can have her, every one has an equal chance.

"I've queued for 30 hours for this album signing. Certainly she will be smitten upon seeing me in this nice fedora I bought just for the occasion".

They sell the fantasy that the star is romantically attainable only to the indovidual fan, and not anyone else. It doesn’t make sense, but you can say the same for onlyfans models and why people pay them for “personalized” content.

south korea fucking sucks

The idol / boy group / girl group business everywhere fucking sucks, in Japan as well. Nothing but predatory people and practices and a dumb-as-bread fanbase who's bamboozled by the veneer of exoticism into thinking it's all fun and games. Look at Japan where "Johnny" Kitagawa built a boy-idol empire to be able to rape hordes of teenagers and then basically enslave them with contracts into making a fortune for him. And nothing happened for decades despite everybody knowing what's going on with him, because, "oh gosh, aren't they funny and pretty and happy boys"? In Japan and South Korea, if you're a rich old man, you can rape kids by the dozen and the worst that will happen to you is have to pay them some hush money if they publicly accuse you. Western otakus don't know what fucking dirty businesses they support and glorify.

America too, if you look at the guy who ran boy bands like NSync.

It's always the same, and it's also obvious, but it's kept going by the support from fans who don't give a shit.

Her "fans" are deranged and she should feel unsafe around them.

If you sell an illusion you have to deal with both the delusional and disillusioned.

Homer : [after hearing "Baby On Board" could be a hit] Wait'll I tell Marge.

Nigel : Oh, yes. Bouffant Betty. Well, I would prefer we kept your marriage a secret. You see, a lot of women are going to want to have sex with you, and, uh, we want them to think they can.

Homer : Well, if I explain it to Marge that way, I'm sure she'll understand.


[at the house, Marge cries into her pillow]

Homer : [trying to comfort her] Come on, honey. It'll only be 'til we finish our tour of Sweden.

You know theirs people actually like that but... Why are people this obsessed over another human? It's unhealthy.

Why are people this obsessed over another human?

Because enormous sums of money are spent marketing this individual as a form of paid parasocial relationship. You get (fake) emails from her. You get (fake) social media interactions with her. You get a deluge of media telling you that she's available and interested and looking to meet a guy just like you. You spend hours in line to get tickets to a sold out show. You wait with baited breath for every new media release, which is inevitably a song or movie or other material about her falling in love with a stranger who follows her from afar. This, combined with the endless peer pressure on other women to become this iconic individual.

Idol culture is the social equivalent of playing the lottery. And finding out your idol is "taken" is like hearing you got sold a ticket to a prize that's already been awarded to someone else.

exactly. don't blame the simps for being affected by directed and successful marketing.

I... sorta still feel like blaming them. They're all grown men, right?

Yeah I'm still blaming them, it just means there's more people to blame. Reminds me of a buddy from high school I had who ended up managing a strip club and how he would tell me about all the guys that would fall in love with one of the women and buy them a bunch of expensive shit. This is actually worse I think.

I can't entirely blame people who are hurt, are at a disadvantage, or are being manipulated. Doesn't matter what their age.

But I mean when has society ever glamorized a fan winning the affection of an idol. From what I've seen, it's only a on the horror genre..

Persona 4, one of the girls is an idol and she's very onto the main character.

1 more...

Nothing new. A famous Hong Kongnese celebrity name Andy Lau has kept his marriage and wife a secret for over 25+ years.

In Chinese society, celebrities are a product and they are not allowed to taint the product.

A famous Hong Kongnese celebrity name Andy Lau has kept his marriage and wife a secret for over 25+ years.

Doesn't seem like a very well kept secret lmao

Ya, I remember back in the 90s when he was initially "caught", and people were so mad at him.

This whole idol bullshit in Korea and Japan is one of those things that I will never be able to comprehend. It's such an alien concept.

Strippers that don't strip as much and they sing.

Understand now?

No, that makes even less sense.

Ok imagine you are a hetrosexual male who is unlucky at love and for not that much money you can see attractive young women dance around a stage not wearing much clothing and afterwards you go online and see pictures of those attractive women doing every day stuff without males in the pictures. Allowing you to have a fantasy where you are with her just chilling at a cafe. And of course she is smiling in every picture because she is happy to see you and spend time with you.

Makes sense now? Yeah it is sad but yeah I get it.

Holy fuck, don't apologise, break this shitty expectation.

I suspect that the "no fans and empty concerts" is not a completely empty threat.

I mean it would be lovely to live in a world where this young lady was adored for her art, but we don't live in that world, do we.

We can all agree that this is a shitty industrial practice but, is she a beneficiary or a victim?

I guess she's both to varying extents, and it depends how much she benefits while being exploited.

Incels ruin everything

I mean a lot of idols (or rather, their management companies) try to appeal to incels, so if anything, they're the reason why these idols are so famous in the first place.

I mean, its a kind-of vicious cycle. I can't help but think someone fixating on a celebrity that hard hurts their prospects in the dating pool.

Pff I haven't got laid in like 10 years but I don't make it anyone else's issue.

An incel downvoted lol . Quick kbin admins tell me who it was i wanna know . (Just dm me it won't be traced back to you)

Korean "netizens" are brutal. This is barely scratching the surface of the madness. At least they haven't driven this celebrity to suicide. Yet.

Japanese netizens can be similarly brutal towards girls in the idol industry.

I'm sorry I have a life. It will never happen again."

I think they have the same issue in Japan as well

This has happened with a few streamers hasn't it? It coming out they had a BF and they basically lost their viewership?

Happening right now with Yuuko Yurei, she stopped doing girlfriend experience content and switched to vlogs and stuff, she's plummetting. Very hard to leave after you captivated this audience, since the people that don't like the former content already left a long time ago.

I am really glad that “Oshi no Ko” threw light at the creepy behind the scenes part of entertainment industry and how prevalent the problem is.

I know they prob don’t have the crazies like we do here in the states, but aren’t they worried about stalkers and other unstable fans?

Not really. Unless things have changed recently, South Korea treats their artists as expendable products.
Anyone can be made a star with the proper plastic surgery, so the artists are at the mercy of their company. And if something happens, they just go "oh no, how sad. Anyway, here's the next pretty star to drool over."

The only thing that makes US crazies different is the easier access to firearms.

This may come as a shock, but shitty and crazy people exist everywhere. Either Japan, Korea, or both have had stabbings at events where people pay for tickets to shake hands with some of the idols. The difference is that, at least speaking for Japan, firearms licensing and ownership is very strict so someone's not going to go shooting up a place. The guy who assassinated former PM Abe basically built a blunderbuss out of hardware parts and electronics to do it and it was a single-shot.

Kind of unimportant but I'm pretty sure the person that shot the former PM got at least 2 shots off, with the first missing. So it could shoot at least twice.

I think the first one misfired rather than missing, IIRC. But yeah, he made a double-barreled blunderbuss basically.

This is specifically why the apology exists. It’s to keep her safe and hopefully with a career still.

Sadly this is common. I used to have Kpop news on my feed but had to unsubscribe. I couldn't take the ridiculous amount of whining over every little thing from Kpop fans.