I will not be taking questions.

WarmSoda@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 1231 points –

So far we have three people that have made the same comment about not being the front view. I'm using copy comments as TP tomorrow.

216

Unless you have a cat that likes to play with them... Then the other direction.

Why not just shut the door so the cat doesn't get in there? The toilet paper being hung correctly is more important than the cat for me.

One of my cats knows how to open doors like a fucking velociraptor. We've baby locked several of our doors but some things like the bathroom I don't like fucking around with extra steps when trying to get into at 3am

Oh hey, my fear. Do you have door knobs, or uh - the flat handled kind that swing down or up? I just realized I don't know what those lever like door handles are called.

I can hear one of my cats pawing at the door knob at night, he'd be getting in places he shouldn't if we had those flat kind.

The flat/lever kind, can get them open first try from either side of a door it's impressive. He's way too smart for his own good and I suspect he could work a round style one if it had enough texture on it. The menace certainly gets into everything else in the house

Our Kimchi is working so hard on this and I don't usually think of her as clever. She knows the knob opens the door so she bats at it, hangs on it.

Neither cat has been messing with the toilet paper lately though.

Because I don't like the smell of cat shit anywhere outside the bathroom

Then teach them not to play with the TP roll.

Ah yes! "Just teach" the cat. Easy

If you spend time with them yeah it can be easy. I have two cats. They both listen to me.

You can't expect them to just automatically know what not to do.

But people get cats so they don't have to interact with them.

I do not condone animal abuse.

Good, you shouldn't.

Interact with your cats, people. They're pack animals. Just like dogs. They just hunt stealthily instead of barking.

The cat listens to me. It understands nothing, though

Well, then teach it to understand. Do you think dogs just automatically understand everything too?

Why are all of the people in here getting animals if they don't want to spend time with them? They're not magic beasts.

Yes but also S T E A M

If you live in a humid, much poo carries on.

Depends on the cat. If they're simply going with tapping the roll to spin it, that may work for a bit. I've found that rolls accessible to a cat tend to morph into big balls of clawed unusable pulp.

When I was a young kid, I had a cat that was front-declawed (this was before it was well known that it's an abusive practice - my folks didn't know better at the time). Because he couldn't shred the paper with his claws, he showed his spite by chewing up the roll so it looked like he'd clawed it. Didn't matter which direction the roll was.

I loved that cat. He was so smart.

When my bois were kittens, they would play with it either way. You’re totally correct.

I see we've got some really strong opinions going on here. Just wanna remind everyone to keep it friendly and civil.

And on that note, all you weirdos who place it behind are wrong and I will die on this hill.

Fight me.

I’m not gonna fight you. My two shitty scheming cats on the other hand…

Look I know how it’s supposed to go but I’m fighting for every square

I stand with you this day, brother!

I stand two stalls over, but still with you!

Separate, but together, we stand.... Or sit.

IDK what's going on in this metaphor.

We actually have a nice print of that hanging in the bathroom

Does it trouble you at all that the diagram doesn't specify where the wall should be?

Sure, that's great and all, but the creator of the Gif says the wrong way to say it so... the creator is not always right.

Just to make sure to not take sides, I pronounce the 'g' as in 'design'

I guess it's fine gif you want to say it like that

Well saying it the wrong way sounds too much like gift. How often are you talking about Jiff peanut butter?

As a choosey mom, you would be surprised how often it comes up.

~fuck you, Skippy~

Looks like some folks don't know how to use the three seashells.

hahahahah ..... I can see how that can be confusing...

What in the terrible photoshop I looking at.

Why is there two gigantic rolls on the ground?

I've seen these. I know people who have them.

It's a tp holder with space for extra rolls.

It's made if wire and it sucks.

Bad design. Toilet paper not currently in use must be stored outside the bathroom so that it doesn't become damp and musty from the humidity. As opposed to on the wet floor next to the dewy toilet. This is how you get a nasty fungal infection fyi

…Is your bathroom a swamp?

LOL my god, I was gonna say. OP apparently lacks a rudimentary immune system as well. Or, is shoving that tp way, way too deep. And leaving it there.

My wife got me to install a bidet. Can't remember to try it. Been 8-months, still forget.

You've had a bidet for 8 months and you have yet to experience its wonders?

I've had a bidet for years and never used it. The rest of my family does, but I have no interest.

It is far superior and unmeasurably more efficient.

Actually you can measure it, by the amount you save on shit tickets.

I don't like being wet, so I'd use about as much TP anyways. Maybe more.

Eh, different strokes for different butts. I don't see how having a wet/moist ass is more efficient. I have one, and don't use it unless I'm particularly interested.....in extra cleanliness. It's not for everyone.

Yeah, and why take a shower when you can just pat yourself down with paper towel?

Some of you bidet fans sound like you're in a religion with all the proselytizing. You do you, just stop pretending that your way is magically superior.

Nothing magical about it. It's simply, objectively superior.

Cleaning with water is objectively superior then cleaning without, no?

If the bathroom and toilet are "dewy" the bad design falls on the house itself.

In hot, humid climates the toilet bowl itself will have condensation that sweats down the outside in my experience. YMMV

Oooh. That makes more sense.

In less humid/hot locations, this isn't really an issue. The outside of the bowl is cold, but rarely collects condensation.

The only way for it to get wet and create a problem is when guys have bad aim and don't have the decency to sit down because of their bad aim.

If you use the TP after that, you get what's coming to you.

If you have humidity problems in your bathroom, get a small electric dehumidifier. They're less than 30 bucks and they'll fix it right up.

Being in the general vicinity of mold won't give you a fungal infection unless you don't wash. I recommend against placing toilet paper directly inside your rectum or vagina, however.

I recommend against placing toilet paper directly inside your rectum or vagina, however.

I don't understand. How do you use toilet paper?

I'm thinking that the poster means putting it entirely inside, like trying to clean the walls of a glass or pipe or something.

IDK. I'm just some guy.

It's halfway 2024 it's time to move on to bidets.

I use a bidet, I still need TP to clean up after the water does the job.

I know fancy bidets exist that will blow dry your arae, but what do I look like? A rich person? We got ours from Amazon for like $20.

TP use is way down, but it's still needed in many cases.

I just sit there and browse Lemmy while I wait for my ass to dry out. 😀

You use toilet paper to dry off? Why not a towel?

A bidet ain't 100% clean. Sometimes there is small residue which you notice when you dry with toilet paper. I got a handheld bidet btw and since installing it 10y ago I really hate pooping without.

In our culture we use soap and water to clean our asses after pooping. So a bidet+soap match made in heaven.

Before bidets we use a dipper to scoop water.

I accept the wrong way if, and only if, the wrongifier has cats.

I have cats and would never have the audacity to do something as vulgar as that.

Not the best patent to use if you want to settle the debate. This one from Wheeler is the nail in the coffin: patent

It also shows why it was over and not under as at the time, the TP holder was a hanging wire, which kept the paper against the wall. Not protruding out like todays hangers.

Good find

Not that the over/under debate was even a thing, but this should convince those diehard lunatics not to hang their TP improperly!

I love how everyone arguing against this mentions cats - and never toddlers.

It really speaks volumes to the types of users on Lemmy :)

Putting the roll on backwards doesn't stop my cats. I have to have a towel draped in front of the roll.

And my toddlers both just turned it back around!

Thats the 'cat free house' way.

Eh. I taught my 2 cats to not touch it. It's not difficult.

I have had many cats and have never had a problem with them grabbing the toilet paper.

HOW‽ If I could I would

Honestly I sometimes wonder how I did it, because my cats listen to me and rarely do something I don't want them to.

Im firm with them, never loud, never hit them or push them. Consistency might be the key. Always tell them no the same way, as many times as it takes. I'll give them something else to play with if they're ripping something up too.

They're smart, if you spend the time with them.

Exactly this. Had a friend struggling to teach a kitten. He had the habit of sounding stern, but not following through, simply pointing like a threat. It even confused me, let alone the cat

Within 1 hour of me consistenly spraying the kitten with water and using the same tone, the kitten started to hesitate when wanting to jump on the counter. It learned not to do so quickly after that.

Objection: appeal to authority + appeal to tradition + I did the fuck with yo mama last night

/s if that's really necessary

Are we looking from the perspective of the user or the wall?

Yeah, the illustration shows nothing, we don't know which side is which anyway.

You aren't taking into account the patent inversion convention of 1898.

Wait. So if this i patented but has no specification about hanging it the other way, would that mean that one could patent toilet paper again, but hanging the other way?

I don't believe so. They will only award a new patent if yours is meaningfully different from previous technologies. I would suspect they would deem the other direction "not a meaningful difference."

You shouldn't, but the patent office don't care about inventive height and obviousness anymore

I see nothing that indicates that that is the front of the roll

The proper way to hang it, if you have cats, is the other way so they don't bat it all off if the get access. This is why I do not have cats.

My cat has not once tried unraveling a toilet paper roll. He has stolen money before, but he steals shit, so that’s normal. But never toilet paper.

Haha mine will take coins off the table, and carry it off to her hiding spot. It's the cutest thing. I got her a small box of toy pirate coins.

Oh, man. My mother had cats who would just attack tp or paper towels. We had them both hanging the 'correct' way, got tired of it and flipped em. Now, though, I stick to dogs lol

Ass wiping tech has come a long way. Thankfully.

They didn't own a cat and it shows.

I've had cats my whole life and have never had one mess with my properly placed toilet paper.

I like how it just looks like a log being shaved into extremely thin sheets.

The original toilet paper was pretty much that, from what I understand.

IDK for sure, not like I'm some toilet paper historian.

I read "a dog", and spent several seconds horrified but searching the canine resemblance

What the fuck were they doing for toilet paper before 1891?

A rag on a stick, frequent trips to the river, their left hand, nothing at all and the three seashells. We're some other options.

We've still got a few years until the three seashells take over and Taco Bell wins the franchise wars.

This post sent me down a rabbit hole.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anal_hygiene

The funniest one is the Japanese “chuugi”, translated to “shit stick”.

As absolutely batshit crazy the world is right now, it's important to reflect on what we do have. And thankfully it's advanced beyond shit sticks.

Imagine getting an asshole splinter?

No. No I will not imagine that, thank you very much. Kittens are cute. Kittens are cute.

Various other things like leaves, rags, sponges, or leftover paper. Failing that a bare hand works: manners dictating you wash it after.

Some cultural hangups on the left hand being "unclean" stem from those cultures using that hand for hygienic reasons.

I mount mine vertically so nyah

I prefer the look of overhand, but the oversize rolls pull better out of my inset holder when it's underhand

Obviously designed in a place without deadly spiders.

Can you explain why this matters, for people who don't live with deadly spiders?

In Australia spiders like to hang out in places like where the outer layer of TP sits as it is a good hiding place for them. Especially Red Backs. Huntsmen like it too but will only kill by a jump scare caused heart attack.

I’ve never been more glad that I don’t live in Australia than right now

To be fair we don't have bears, wolves or rabies.

I mean I live in CT, and technically I have wolves and bears, but neither are going to appear under my toilet paper

Yes this was 1.0, 2.0 improved the tech by going under instead of over. Much more convenient single hand operation as well as pet protection.

The inventor also said it's "jif", and I ain't saying that either. Also, the patent doesn't indicate whther that's the front view or the back view. It's displaying a roll in a vacuum.

You're right, of course. Patent illustrations traditionally show the item only from behind.

Patent illustrators show the item in the way that is most useful to describe the patent.

Mounting is not illustrated.

Toilet paper hanging haphazardly over the front of the roll provides a convenient place for a 3 inch spider to hide between the roll and hanging strip. The patent illustration is clearly meant as a sick joke.

If it's hanging from the other side, there's even more space for a spider to hide outside of view.

::: spoiler Warning! Normies who can't digest radical ideas, don't click further. I keep the roll on its side (vertical, with circular face down).
Also, I don't use it to wipe my butt. I have a handheld water shower directing device (a.k.a. health faucet) for that. :::

I've never paid a single bit of attention to which way it goes on. I spit into the face of this entire debate and it's never done me any harm to do so. I'm a cat owner too. The roll goes on either way, it's fine, and I'll never change my mind.

Someday if you ever live with another person you'll figure it out.

I'm happily married. Has never once been an issue.

Is your SO also a "super cool edge lord that bucks the trends of society"? Because you're just so cool?

Nothing about being an edgelord or cool. Its just not a thing that's ever been an issue in any relationship, even ones I fucked up. It's not even a thing I ever once heard talked about anywhere aside from the internet. It's just a shit post argument that doesn't matter, regardless of how you do it. Just an empty little thing people like fighting about online for whatever reason. That's what I spit into the face of.

Wtf says things like "spit in the face of", and the other cring phrases you use.
Be better.

Nah. I'll be as cringe as I please. Don't need your permission.

I wouldn't give you permission for anything, and I couldn't care less, based on our interactions so far. People like you aren't worth any energy at all.

People here be discussing the wrong thing, or am I the only one thinking that patenting a roll of paper is incredibly stupid?

It's a damn roll of paper. How much of a genius do you have to be to come up with that? People have been doing it for millennia, the only difference is that it used to be so expensive that no one would think of whipping their butts with it.

The patent was the tp roll but more so the angular serations that terminate short of the center, so a tearable roll of paper rather than a strip role that had to be torn manually or cut

So the innovation that was patented is literally "cut it partway through".

Patents are inherently stupid and only serve to stifle progress. Change my mind or otherwise just downvote away, works as well.

They are stupid, but helped inventors recoup development costs. It gets abused now, especially with patent trolls. The invention here moved TP from a roll you had to cut or tear, to self tearing segments with enough attached at center that it pulled roll forward...smart at the time...we take this idea of perforated sheets for granted now

Maybe this invention revolutionised how we clean our butts, or maybe it was utterly trivial and 20 different ways of cutting paper rolls were patented that same year (note that present day rolls don't even use this method).

But that's irrelevant to the point that seems to be implied here that patents somehow contributed to it's success. They don't, an invention will be useful or not based on its own merits, not on the fact they're patented.

They exist to ensure whoever registered it makes a profit, which is why they're being exploited way past the point of making up for any good they were supposed to bring...

Yep, i agree. patents are stupid, but not everyone is convinced of open sourcing everything

It makes sense when you consider that they don't even have ball pens in the 19th century. People back then must be very stupid.

Yes... Because the people that made everything we have today possible are... stupid. Right.

They were very smart. Ball pens messed up my wrists. I was livid when I found out it takes no pressure to write with a fountain pen