Pills (Take Two)

balderdash@lemmy.zip to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 250 points –
177

Grab the "2 random pills" and the "duplicate anything you own once" pill. Duplicate the "2 random pills" pill with the duplicate pill and eat both "2 random pills" pill and have 4 absolutely random abilities.

Hopefully it's pure chaos

“2 random pills” and shoebox pill. Take the shoebox pill, get a shoebox filled with the 2 random pills (since you got one they became “real”). Grab a big handful of pills and swallow.

Others (in case you don’t want to collapse civilization or piss gasoline):

  • Shoebox + any question = practically unlimited questions. Plus the first one should be something like “how can I achieve maximum happiness (in an easy way where current me would be comfortable with the results)?” and you can ask variations to get a clearer answer since you have practically unlimited ones. Only drawback is if “single-use” really means the duplicates don’t do anything.

  • Shoebox + groundhog day = probably get to live >10000 years (unless “single-use” prevents that)

  • Shoebox + pi money = practically unlimited money, no “single use” issue

  • Shoebox + kill one person = Death Note

You win this round! Although a shoebox of Groundhog Day pills is probably hell. At least you get to choose to each each subsequent pill.

Sell them. You’ll make more than $4M, if you don’t get killed for it

So what would shoebox + collapse civilization look like? Meteor storm of world ending asteroids? Collapse all civilizations for the next 10000 years? Start destroying alien civilizations?

1 more...

I think the 2 random pills is an auto-redeem so you're rolling dice on collapsing civilization and strawberry flavor.

That sounds like a delicious risk to me! Strawberry flavored destruction. Actually, why don't villains flavor their creations?

3 more...

Take showbox pill, order box full of all pill on picture. Take duplicate pill.

Duplicate shoebox. Take duplicate pill from shoebox. Repeat until satisfied.

It only duplicates a single item. No things inside of other things. (At least, that's how I would do it).

what happens if I glue pills to the box, are they one item now? and if they are sewn together? if if the box is shredded and reglued, do I gets shreds, shreds + glue or intact box? what If I recycle a new box from the fibers of the original and add the pills in it, can I duplicate the pills now?

That's a good question and I guess you'd have to try it and find out. I'd personally allow it if the person claimed that the glued-on pill was a decoration or something and therefore part of the box now. Trying to get around the rules for its own sake is a no-go, but if you make a plausible effort to sell it I'd say it's acceptable.

I think they're only duplicating the new shoebox pill.

The initial shoebox is filled with all the pills from list, including a new shoebox pill and a new duplicate pill. In fact the duplication pill is reduant so long as you always use the new shoebox pill to get another box of pills.

The duplication pill is still good to make backup shoebox pills. You don't want to rely on the one and accidently use it on something else, breaking the infinite loop.

Oh yeah, I forgot that the shoebox pill can essentially summon anything that actually exists in it. HOWEVER, I would take the "take 2" instruction as a kind of wish limiter, meaning that any other duplicated pills you took after the first 2 wouldn't work. Ixnay on the wishing for more wishes! But take shoebox pill, wish for shoebox full of something valuable, take dupicate pill, duplicate shoebox would be smart.

I took it more as a you can only pick two, but if you had them all - you could eat them all (side effects may vary)

That's also a valid interpretation. The spirit of it is that you have to choose 2 out of a bunch of effects, though, so I'd stick with that. But if these pills are a limited resource, I would accept the shoebox dupe trick being a method to give 2 of these pills to an large number of people as long as a lot of them kept taking a shoebox one and wishing for more pills.

1 more...
1 more...
1 more...

I am gonna be real with you guys

  • get 10% more sleep per sleep

And

  • both nostrils always work

Is this what getting older does to me?

I'll take the shoebox(full of perfect diamonds, thanks xkcd!) and just for fun, the almost 10k calories of cheese for added wealth, opulence, and because I really love cheese. Some cheeses are worth hundreds of dollars a pound.

High-quality diamonds are expensive, but it's hard to get a handle on their exact price because the entire industry was built on a scam the gemstone market is complicated.

Nice one!

I wonder the value of a shoebox full of horseshoe crab blood.

Quick edit: not as much as I had thought.

So I did the napkin math, if you pick two random pills and two random pills, there's a 19.05% chance to get something objectively bad, a 28.57% chance of getting something useless, and a 52.38% chance of getting something objectively good for a total 80.95% chance to get something not bad. Assuming infinite loops are banned and you don't have a genuine interest in a given pill, 4 random pills is the best call.

There's also a 2.27% chance of getting 2 random pills on each of those 4 tries.

Thank you for doing what I was too lazy to do.

I agree that 4 random pills is the best choice, also it is not specified that you must consume them (so if you get something bad you just dump or sell it).

get π million dollars and get +3 on all charm. This would actually help me dramatically.

Maybe I'm misunderstanding the "groundhogs day" power, but couldn't you spend a year tracking winning lottery numbers, bets, and/or stocks and then "loop" that year and act on that knowledge in the repeat year? Then you would also essentially get +1 year of life and way more than $π million. I would also use the first loop to take medical tests of my health as much as possible since it wouldn't matter if I went into debt in the first loop.

I guess the downside would be that any progress you've made on personal goals would have to be redone. Or maybe you don't get to decide the starting point of when you would loop back to. Or just my luck, there would be some butterfly-effect shit and I would end up worse off in the repeat loop because my investments would have failed.

way more than $π million.

I don't need more than $π million. I just need enough to get some stuff started. I'm not interested in getting rich.

I would also use the first loop to take medical tests of my health as much as possible since it wouldn't matter if I went into debt in the first loop.

Fair enough, but I really need the charm. I'm autistic and I'm not good at being social. I'd definitely be willing to give up a few years of life for more charm.

It would do both with just one "groundhog year" pill. Live a year with my current wealth and use the experience of that year to plan out how to earn money when it repeats. At the same time I would use that first year to measure my health so that I could take precautions or act on all that accumulated knowledge when the year repeats. There would still be a second pill to choose, and I think I'd choose the +3 charm because I could also really use it.

But I don't think this would work how I envisioned because I misunderstood the "groundhog" pill. I think it's supposed to mean that you repeat the same day 365 times, which wouldn't work for lottery/investing. So then I agree, taking the $π million and +3 charm is probably the best.

I would take the +3 charm and groundhog Day for a year. It would be really awesome to have 3 charm instead of 0, and if I could repeat Tuesday for an entire year then I could learn skills and practice things and read a bunch of books and memorize and establish a plan to purchase a winning lottery ticket, not excessive but maybe like the mega millions I don't know, and come out of the year into Wednesday with nine figures in my bank account and a clear plan of action.

Oh wait does "groundhogs day for a full year" mean that you complete a year then at the end you start that year over? Or is it that you repeat the same single day 365 times? Because repeating the same single day wouldn't give someone enough info to invest or win a lottery (they close sales more than a day before drawing winners). I'm not sure I could out-earn $π million in a single day even with 365 attempts and +3 charisma... unless it was some kind of criminal heist, but then it couldn't be known if I would be caught on a later date.

I don't know if you're from the states but if you are purchasing mega millions or Powerball tickets, they stop sales at about 6:45 p.m. Pacific time and then do the drawing sometime after 7:00 of the same day.

I interpreted it as you would repeat the exact same day 365 times, not that you would repeat the exact same year over and over again.

I don't feel like reading all that. I'll take the black one twice. Let's see...

  1. Change amount of fingers at any time
  2. Hear plants talk by looking at them
  3. Chocolate has all vitamins and minerals I need
  4. Urinate gasoline

I think I can live with that. If the plants get too noisy, I can always piss on them and light them on fire.

Your average shoebox is 35X23.5X13.5 cm, or 11103.75 cubic centimeters. The density of gold is 19.3 g/cm^3. You can fit 11103.75X19.3 = 214302 grams of gold in a shoebox. One gram of gold right now is $77.78 US. That's 214302X77.78 = over 16.5 million US. There are things significantly more valuable (but not more fungible) than gold, too. The Pi million pill is completely moot. Or just take both, I guess.

No, get the gold and the pill that doubles something you own. The pi million is completely moot.

Or just ask what stock is going to raise the hardest and ask when is the best moment to sell if you have 2 questions

You'd need to invest 1mil in a 3000% return stock in order to make 30 mil like the gold option. If you bought fb when it was lowest and sold when it was highest, you'd get 2158% return. There's stuff like Amazon, coca cola, etc. That had much higher % gain but you'll need for that company to exist and then wait for it to explode.

If you already have a lot of money to invest, sure, your strategy might be worth. Otherwise, double gold sounds better.

Is it easy to sell gold? I read recently that people are buying gold bars from Costco and struggle to sell them later.

Smaller quantities shouldn't be too hard to sell. 16.5 million worth would definitely be a bit of a logistical problem. I'm sure a bank would help you out with an amount that large.

The shoebox full of gold would be worth around $12M at current prices.

(First Google result for size of a shoebox: https://store.usps.com/store/product/shipping-supplies/priority-mail-shoe-box-P_0_SHOEBOX

I just rounded down the measurements for a quick and dirty estimate of the internal volume.)

The downside is that would be 341 pounds of gold so maybe specify for it to be in bars instead of a solid block.

From a quick Google search, I saw a guy managed to fit 7,400 dollar bills into a shoebox. $10,000 bills are no longer printed but still valid, legal currency. Assuming that's the max. That's $74,000,000. You could dupe the box and net $148 mil.

However, thinking bigger. Go with a shoebox full of perfect diamonds. The value could conceivably be in the billions.

Just get a shoebox of shoebox pills and you can just get a box of 10's and 20's whenever you need.

I think you'd have an even harder time offloading the diamonds than gold. They might retail for that much, but wholesaling is another issue entirely.

Yeah, plus the diamond cartel probably doesn't need competition, they have a hard enough time keeping the rock relevant.

You'd be better off asking for shoeboxes of more common materials so you could skirt the inevitable questions on the matter and not get flagged as a counterfeiter or something. Though personally, the majority of things I'm interested in owning can fit in a shoebox anyways so why not cut out the middleman?

The 3 million dollar one and immunity to cancer.

You now have the equivalent of just barely over $3.14 and incredibly harsh personalities no longer impact you.

  • Teleporting Dr. Pepper can, so I can off tyrants, right wing nuts and dictators every 14.5h by summoning them inside their heads.

  • Not getting cancer sounds cool too

If you can control any Milliliter of water, you can easily shred up people's brains.

That's close quarters. I can do more damage from far away with Dr. Peppers.

Why close quarters? It gives no range, you could be watching live TV while assassinating people accross the world sitting on your couch drinking a dr pepper.

I guess my point is I can think of other useful things to do by controlling a milliliter of water than dr. Pepper teleportation. Plus you have to wait a half day to kill again, I can theoretically kill one after another.

Immune to venom and urinate gasoline. When I tell my doctor it burns when I pee, I want to mean it. Also, I figure something like that would send spiderman after me.

Death Note at home: Summon Dr pepper can anywhere every 14.5 hours, summon them directly into the brains of my enemies.

Both nostrils work all the time: I'd take this twice if it meant it worked twice as good.

I'll take the strawberry flavored one because I like strawberry. Then I'll get the shoebox, and completely fill it with the pill that gives you $3,414,592.65. Then I'd throw a bunch of them in a blender and make a little smoothie that will make me a billionaire. There's probably enough pills to do that a couple of times.

Wonder if those pills are considered part of "anything real"

I'd think the box one would have to be real if you pick it. Hard to take a nonexistent pill.

The course sand pocket would be pretty great. Unlimited free sand. I could run an empire.

hang it over a silo and let the silo fill itself from gravity, as the sand falls and new sand is created. a lot of prfit for a small operation

Immune to Cancer and Grapes.

The grapes are basically free income if I can just plant them half-assed and they always turn out. There is even the implication that they don't need fertilizer or other associated costs.

Just shit silver - more profit than grapes.

I don't think silver with the consistency of shit will make very good silverware or jewelry. The prompt says the "texture" is the same so maybe there is room for interpretation, there. You can also get 16M for a shoebox of pure gold but that's a one time deal.

Okay - I did the math. I'm pretty regular and I poop twice a day. Morning poop and afterwork poop. average human poop is about 8 ounces. A pound a day of poop. An ounce of silver is $32 - so call it $500 worth of silver poop a day. Roughly a salary of 180,000 a year. - for pooping.

So the 16m gold is worth about 90 years of silver poop - so I'd need to live to 130 years old and have the same poops as I do today as I do at 130 to reach shoebox gold.

The shoebox doubled is the king option

Also - my shit would officially not stink. So that's a thing to consider. It's not like 180k is a bad salary

TBH with the correct setup and a lot of leniency on "planting grapes" I could have 16M USD from 1067 acres of grape in a single season, but it would take time to earn the required 4,716,140~ish USD for the purchase of the acres (not accounting for inflation).

Cheap land in the desert, and if they always grow well... Could have your own grape themed garden of eden.

I love the optimization but realistically that might draw some unwanted attention, lol.

Control a single milliliter of water. That one effectively gives me like 85% of the others.. water molecule nanobots.

Then I guess the money one so I'm not rushed.

3.14 million and the answer to the question of the best stock to invest in for a 5 year return.

or you can get billions by asking for a shoebox with the hardware wallet of a high profile bitcoin whale and still have a second pill.

Or maybe ask for the shoe box to be full of a block of pure gold? Probably easier to sell and should have a value of about $18M.

Wouldn’t you crash the value of bitcoin trying to sell that many of them?

Who would you sell them to?

I’ll take my idea thanks.

Surely it would dip when the news got out but btc is very liquid.

Also, the risk of a wallet leak has always been there, this wouldn't uncover anything that wasn't previously known about it.

You wouldn't even need to take Bitcoin someone has access to.

There's tons of Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies that are theoretically unrecoverable because the private keys to the wallets containing them have been lost, or the hard drives they were on were sent to a landfill (and thus began the world's shittiest treasure hunt).

However, by spending any of that Bitcoin you'd probably make international headlines and end up starting a market panic, because the most likely explanation for gaining access to that Bitcoin is that you found and exploited some vulnerability in the protocol itself.

I'll take two shoeboxes filled with gold. With a size of 35x25x13cm it'll be 11,375cm³ which can contain 219.77kg of gold worth €15,519,086. That's €31,038,172 for two shoeboxes. I think I'll be able to make a good early retirement on that.

Man you should check out how much rhodium is worth…

Edit: and Polonium-209

I'll just hop on down to the Cash for Rhodium store and offload that then I guess.

Holy shit $49 billy a gram for polonium 209 (from the first source I found).

I figured the easy one would be some rare hue of diamond but gdamn

Printer ink has to be worth a million times that.

Honestly? I don't even know if the wacky shit is necessary. The money pill and the 10% extra rest per sleep is just fine by me.

groundhog day. I want to spend as much time with my kids as I can and I need a break from work.

control body temperature

My own body, or any body I want? And how liberally can I use the word "body" here? Do bodies of water count? How about celestial bodies?

ez

"strawberry flavor" and "tastes good"

It's obviously a BAD Strawberry flavor, though.. Are you sure you wouldn't prefer controlling a miniscule amount of water?

My glitch: summon a Dr. Pepper can into Trump’s brain, then into Biden’s brain after 14.5 hrs, then Netanyahu’s, then Putin’s, then the evil Sudanese dudes’, then Xi Jinping’s, and so on and so forth.

If the shoebox one just magically removes stuff instead of needing real work or duplicating stuff then you could skip a lot of surgery, or just need with someone by asking for the bones in their hand or something

1 shoebox of 24 carats gold please.

But the answer to one question is worth way more ofc.

Anyone who is saying anything other than take the random pill twice is a coward.

I am not a materialist but nothing catches my eye that is good enough, so:

  1. 3 million dollars.
  2. A shoebox of like the rarest material that I could sell, but not something that can kill me or which half-life causes it to "evaporate" in a second.

duplicate anything I own once

Does "once" here means this power can only be used once, or that any given item can only be duplicated one time?

Also - what can be duplicated?

  • Does it work on conceptual things? Can I duplicate my salary?
  • Does it work on organic things? Can I duplicate my own body?

Could I duplicate a shoebox full of magic pills?

Do I have full phase and state control of that 1 ml of water, and can also move it around, magneto style? Do I always keep all 1ml in my control?

You could cause a lot of havoc with that

>choose 1ml water pill

>form it into a needle

>kill everyone ITT

>collect all of their pills

Just throwing this out there... Summoning a DR pepper almost twice per day ANYWHERE is OP as fuck.

If you were a hitman, you couldn't exactly make it look like an accident, but you definitely wouldn't leave an evidence trail.

but you definitely wouldn't leave an evidence trail.

Yes, officer. It's the second victim that died from a Dr. Pepper can randomly falling on their head today. As the two other ones yesterday and the two the day before yesterday...

You need to think more like a stand user. Your lungs are now filled with 「Dr. Pepper」

I was thinking of summoning a can inside the head, heart, or throat from across the entire country, but I like the idea of a mystery Dr. Pepper drowning.

I thought exactly the same about controlling a millilitre of water. You could straight up behead people on sight and leave basically no trace at all - just a suspiciously clean cut

It also doesn't specify what a "Dr Pepper" is, exactly. Can I summon a container the size of a mountain with it?

Being serious, answer any question and get the money. I'd invest the money and ask the truth of the existence of God just to end the fucking debate.

Immune to cancer And just to annoy people the "Make bell sounds at will" one

Get the answer to any question seems like it would make me the next Einstein. Or the answer would be 42.

Collapse civilization and "kill any one person of your choosing" on myself

You can kill yourself without a pill; better take strawberry one

Eh, I don't like sweets. Besides, I'd rather not do it on my own. I'd only prefer it if there was another pill to leave some sort of last "fuck you" to the humanity.

If you're going for a fuck you, teleport a Dr. Pepper into your head. You'd leave a big, terrifying mess to anyone who came across the scene

Hell you can just run for American president and off yourself in a bunker if that's all you want

What's a president after the civilization has collapsed? And there's not enough pills for all of them anyway.

"Change your skin color instantly any time" and "teleport to the closest beach at any time". I'll use them to rob banks. Before robbing the bank I'll change my skin color, and once I get the money I'll escape by teleporting to the beach - while changing my skin color at the same time (not to my original skin color though - that one I'll only use once I'm completely safe)

This is assuming you teleport other things besides just yourself. You might just poof to the beach nude.

So I should only use that power when I'm near a nudist beach?

Makes sense to me. You would just need to plan trips back from the nudist beach.

So essentially there's a lot of OP pills here:

  • Change skin color - wow, a great help in a heist or to make magic shows
  • Control all TVs in fast food places - you can literally roll unbannable propaganda for everyone to see!
  • Teleport to closest beach at any time - again, absolute save in heist; also, you'd be an amazing courier for some saltwater port!
  • Turds are silver - that's a loooot of silver
  • Summon a Dr.Pepper every 14,5 hours anywhere - just summon it into someone's head or into some mechanism and enjoy the show
  • Immune to cancer - now you're the leading patient for research against cancer! You are the key to ending it once and for all!
  • Shoebox with anything that can fit into it - fill to the brim with the most valuable resources in existence! Help humanity and earn some cash!
  • Control a single milliliter of water - you'll be a God of precise technology. Also, you can probably misplace a bit of important fluid in the body to kill a person.
  • Get the answer to any question once - that could be anything! The meaning of life, the universal physical theory, the way to build a just and wonderful world...you name it.

Change skin color - wow, a great help in a heist

Make skin white. Rob bank. Make skin nonwhite. Get arrested for "fitting the description."

Shoebox full of gold. If my math is right, that comes out to roughly $8M or so. Not sure about second one

Throw in a winning Eurojackpot ticket and a USB drive with some bitcoin.

The USB drive has wallet keys to every lost or forgotten bitcoin wallet since bitcoin was new.

"According to Fortune, around 2.9 million Bitcoins have been lost"

Can you choose where Dr. Pepper bottle is summoned? If yes, you could just summon one in the throats of Putin, Trump, and anyone else who is a threat to global peace.

Under normal circumstances, the black random pill would be completely up my alley, but not today.

With the shoebox pill, depending on shoebox size, I would give myself 5,000 $100USD bills ($500,000 total). Never said a thing about not getting money in the process, just that it has to exist.

Also, the bottom right corner 5 months experience pill. Definitely 5 months experience in charisma based manipulation (in both text and vocal form if possible) so I could get slightly ahead of others in life. Gotta work smarter, not harder sometimes.

Groundhog day for a year and immune to cancer is the only sane choice.

Money, immunity to cancer.

Black pill twice

22: nostrils 6: kill 1 person 13: collapse civilization 24: Black pill (again) 1: control all tvs in fast food 7: plants talk

I didn't want civilization to collapse but at least the plants will keep me company

Teleport to closest beach at any time and control body temperature, i mean, if i teleport to closest beach in winter or cold weather what am i gonna do?

I'll take the green one and the blueish thank you very much.

If you had the "summon a dr. pepper every 14.5 hours anywhere" you could send those dr. peppers to Palestine to help fight the famine.

but honestly, there are other parts of the world that have famine too. You could stay busy your whole life sending dr. peppers.

or if you can manage to travel to those famine-stricken places, you could take the 9000+ calorie cheese and feed people

Assuming the shoebox pill couldn't be used for more pills (such as, more shoebox pills)...

Groundhog Day pill + 5 months experience pill, could be pretty good.

I'll take the money and the bell-on-demand for when some dick-drizzle starts being loud and/or problematic.