What are some silly ways to say you gotta go poop?

over_clox@lemmy.world to Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world – 151 points –

I might say something like "Oof, gravity is kicking in, I gotta go have a seat..."

174

someone's faxing me a snickers

That joke shows your age, how many gen z'ers would give an odd look? 😂

I'm 40, and wouldn't know what he meant BECAUSE I know what a fax machine is, and how it's used.

In our language "sitting" is a synonym of "meeting". So in the office setting, I always say "I have an important sitting coming up".

I need to go 3D print something.

Definitely heat up your bed before you start extruding.

Hell yeah. I've a Toto Washlet with a heated seat. That thing is quite comfortable while priming your nozzle.

“Prairie dogging it” always makes me chuckle when I do a comparison between the two mental images.

In Australia, we call it "turtle necking". The visual is worse.

This question caused a fight in my house. Someone kept trying to say "Brown trout poking out" and i insisted that doesn't mean poop, it means prairie dog, which i didn't even know what a thing until a 12 year old kid said those 2 phrases to me.

i say “gotta go log out”

i do freelance work with technology, and the clients think i am going to do something work related and technical.

Gotta paint the town brown

Gotta curl one out

Gotta pinch a loaf

I gotta go make some clay.. 💩

Shit, this toilet ain't gonna make itself!

I'm gonna try and lose some weight

"Gotta see a man about a dog."

Had a coworker that would go the the bathroom and sit in there for 10 to 15 so I started calling it a "Tony ten-er."

My ex boss used to say he was going to use the library whenever he had to shit. Don't know why.

I take it your boss was Gen X or older?

In the pre cell phone era, it was common for bathrooms to contain various magazines or books.

Uhhhhhh.......was that a regional thing? Because I'm old enough to remember bathrooms before cell phones.

I don't remember magazines/books being left in the bathroom. I only remember bringing them in.

Seinfeld did a whole episode on how gross it was to brings books into the bathroom.

LDR Industries Free Standing Toilet Paper Holder and Magazine Rack, Bathroom Storage Organizer, Rectangular Pedestal Design, Bathroom Tissue Holder, Chrome

https://a.co/d/6liaiOW

Looks like it's still a thing...

You know that nobody under the age of 40 has ever ordered that.

Oh, definitely not. I'd say no one under 50 would even be a good bet, but I had to look and make sure this wasn't a Fruit of the Loom Cornucopia/Berenstein Bears type thing.

I'm gonna go drop the kids off at the pool

Touching cotton, gotta go.

Turtle's poking its head out.

Farting freckles.

Making fuzzy rope

"All hands rig for dive. DIVE DIVE DIVE"

And my absolute favorite to use in the office or around older family / the youngins, "I gotta go make"

A silly Dutch one is saying you got a fax from Darmstad, which is a city in Germany but also Darm=intestines and Stad=city.

In Dutch or Flemish at least we say: Ik moet een grote boodschap doen.

Which is a literal translation for: I have to make a big message.

"I'll be right back, gotta check if the bathroom still works"

Taking the Browns to the Super Bowl

(the cleveland browns are an american football team)

Art? Art Model???

leads the charge of Clevelanders with pitchforks and torches

Gotta drop the kids off at the pool

I went through a phase where I couldn't not giggle at this.

It started 30 years ago and has yet to stop; the giggling I mean.

If I have to pee I'll say "I have to pee" if I have to shit I say "I have to go to the bathroom"

I usually just say I gotta go to the poo room. But hey, if you wanna bathe in it, I won't stop you.

Time to go take the Browns to the Super Bowl.

Gotta work my shift at the fudge factory.

There's a fake (i think) town in Missouri called Uranus. When you drive past it there's a billboard for Uranus Fudge Factory. They have a website, gift shop, etc.

There's a rumble in the Bronx

There's big trouble in little China

The spice must flow

Not pooping, but whenever i have gas, I say I ate a kitten. Not many people get it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sjRO6BQFMw

"Gotta sit on my thinking chair for a bit" or "lemme go listen to my own shit for a while"

Usually in dutch tho, "ff op de denkstoel zitten" or "even naar m'n eigen gezijk luisteren"

Hard insider, "Doing an Olli". We had a coworker named Oliver and when ever we were at a customer on site he not only showed up late but always went straight for the toilets making us wait even longer.

I tell my wife I have to go blast a dookie.

It’s a Simpson reference.

i was looking for this quote in the thread haha. “Duke on!”

For when I have to take a piss I like to say "I'll have to take a trip to the drinks return"

Works a bit better in German because of our bottle return system

Sorry im late for the meeting folks. I just took a massive bio break.

Where do you people take your excrement?

I tend to leave mine. Sometimes I even flush them..

Two of my favourites are:

  • I'm touching cloth.
  • Dropping the kids off at the pool.

I'm gonna knit a brown sweater. If you guess what I'm gonna do, I'll let you have half of it.

I tell my dog "dookies get cookies" when she's taking too long to find the PERFECT spot to drop a giant soft serve ice cream cone.

Gotta go ponder the mysteries of the universe.

Gotta go release my fear.

Gotta go pop a squat.

Gotta go stop a penalty kick.

"I gotta see a man about a horse" Cowboy Curtis used this one on Pee Wee's Playhouse

Do pardon my absence, for it seems my coffee has stimulated gastrin production, triggering peristalsis and thus motility of a log flume near my nethers.

Toodle-oo (to the loo) as you leave the room. That's what I say to my cats at least.

There’s been a pileup on the dirt highway. This food baby’s breech!

I got the plopples

From My Name is Earl:

Philo : I gotta go tinkle.

Randy : Tinkle! That's so stupid. I wonder what he uses for "going ploppies."

My go-tos are:

  • I have to see a man about the pipes
  • I have to make a long visit (usually say that one in Dutch)
  • I have to do some paperwork
  • I'm off to sit on the throne

Imma go look for some tile'd poetry

I'm kingly but I gotta get rid of this crown

(These were made up on the spot, enjoy)

When I’m hanging out with the lads I like to announce that I’m going for an [insert friend’s name] out of my [insert other friend’s name].

I’ve gotta push a Steve out of my Bradley.

Choke Jürgen or cook Jochen. Doesn't even make sense in German.

But at least "Jürgen würgen" or "Jochen kochen" rhymes 😁

"I gotta go pinch a loaf" still makes me laugh out loud

"I gotta grumble" is good

"I've got an urgent appointment in meeting room 00"