How do you deal with the thought of having to work for 40+ years and then when/if you retire, you're too old to do much?

return2ozma@lemmy.world to Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world – 313 points –

There has to be a better system than this.

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Live in a country with a decent amount of vacation days.

Guess I gotta move to Iran for that 53 days off a year Wikipedia says they get.

Hot damn! And here I thought 30+ days was decent amount.

Yeah but those days in Iran where it's insanely hot... I think we are better off in Europe. :)

I get 47 if my math is right, but not all at once. Next year I think it goes to 48.

I hope you can move to Canada and find a great job like mine. Immigrate for any healthcare at all, stay for the vacation days in the woods staring out over the ocean.

and if in germany, get yourself a schwerbehindetenausweis and show it to your employer. they have to give you 5 extra days off when the GDB is at least 50.

I honestly prefer not being eligible for that to having extra vacation days.

In what is that a solution :) ? Working 40+ years except 30days per year still make you lose your time, no?

Thank God immigration is such a cheap and accessible option to everyone!

Don't wait until retirement. Balance your life now. It's going to be a long slog.

You don't need to find an amazing career that you’ll love doing until you die. People who get that are extremely lucky, and it's not the norm. You just need a job that will support you while still giving you time to do the things you enjoy.

Follow this: https://youtu.be/YHxwY3Fz2gU?feature=shared

As I tell my kids repeatedly. I am the exception not the rule!

It's so bloody annoying a 13 year old is supposed to know what they want to do with their life. I fell into my career in IT at 25 after dropping out of college twice, running my own business unsuccessfully and generally doing my best to survive. Now I make 150k which is both too much and not enough money.

Point being, do what's right for you and only you.

I dealt with it by choosing to not have kids years ago. I didn't ask to be born, and I refuse to force that on anyone else.

Once things become too difficult, I'm pulling my own plug.

How are you going to pull your own plug if the country you are in suddenly makes a law to prevent you from doing that?

Laws against suicide are notoriously difficult to enforce, for obvious reasons.

It already is illegal, and euthanasia while "tolerated" is also illegal to perform by a medical professional.

What are they going to do, arrest a corpse? Fine by me.

I'm not suicidal, but I have considered how nice it would be to diary in a date where I think "yep, i've had a titsful of life now, time to fuck off to sto'vo'kor" or whatever.

The only thing that stops me taking it seriously is the prospect that it may be subjecting others to criminal investigation or court process.

I think you need to die in battle if you want to go to Sto'Vo'Kor. Killing yourself would be without honor.

Good point. Might have to noise up the French on the border or something.

A lot of places have those laws already. They aren't stopping anyone. What, someone suicidal is supposed to go "oh, guess that's not allowed" and regain their will to live?

What are they gonna do about it? Kill me?

Lock you up with suicide watch. So essentially sleep deprivation by keeping the lights on and checking up on you every 15 minutes.

Are they gonna lock everybody up? How are they gonna know ahead of time?

Live with underlying existential dread for decades. Watch as "doing what you love" becomes "hating what you used to love because you're forced to do it so that there's enough numbers in the computer to prove that you're worthy of continued existence." Contemplate the pointlessness of it all on a daily basis. Be reminded that your feelings are invalid because "other people have it worse" every time the topic comes up. Nod listlessly as "successful" people tout their own hard work while ignoring any factor luck and privilege played, then tune out when they shift into the dissonant duet of "I succeeded because I am exceptional" and "anyone can do the same if they just work harder."

Wake up the next morning and realize there's roughly 30 more years of this, barring a massive coronary or aneurism or something.

Don't hold on to things you haven't done before you retire... It is a waste of time and regretting not doing stuff, which lasts for moments, is the folly of youth.

Also what/who you want to do changes as you get older...

/sauce greybeard who is 10 years off retirement.

Yep, your priorities will change, those big plans you had 15 years ago might not seem so important now, and that's perfectly OK.

Here's a hot take. Do what you want when you are young. Find a way. I spent my 20's moving around, having shitty but fun jobs. I travelled. Saw all kinds of places and met all sorts of people. It wasn't easy and sometimes it wasn't fun. I found myself homeless even several times. I still wouldn't change any of it. I found a wonderful partner and we moved together for a while before settling and having kids.

In my early 40s I was diagnosed with a really rare cancer that paralyzed me from the chest down for a year prior to surgery and left lasting disabilities following. Now in my 50's with declining health I am so glad I lived. It means I don't have a lot of things others have but I've never cared much for the Jones' anyway. If Cancer taught me anything it's fuck society and their expectations. Do you. Find a way. Be happy.

Would love to talk further with you. Mid 40s, narcolepsy, and some doubt that I’ll make it to retirement age in a way that makes SSA pay meaningfully.

Struggling thru the next twenty or so years seems like hell. Love my job, but doesn’t make up for the mess that is life for me.

On top of that, I made promises to my wife of fifteeen years, back when, and I’m bent on keeping them.

My disease is hardly akin to cancer, but I think you have some collected wisdom that would make a meaningful differentlce in our lives.

The alternative is much worse. I don’t want to be poor and/or homeless. I want to be able to take vacations and not worry about surprise expenses. I want to actually be able to retire someday.

The alternative is a much harder life to live, in my opinion. For me, giving up 40ish hours a week for the peace of mind it worth it. Yes, work is not how I’d prefer to spend my time, but it allows me to spend the rest of my time doing as I’d please.

A pivotal piece of advice once shifted my perspective on work. It was put simply: 'If the thought of retirement is your main motivation, you might be in the wrong job.' This implies that if you're constantly counting down the years to retirement, you're essentially wishing for time to fly by quicker. But those years are valuable, and letting them slip away in anticipation of something else isn't worth it. The key is to find a career that reduces your stress and enhances your life now, not just in the future. While financial security is undeniably important, it's also crucial to recognize when you have enough and to prioritize your well-being and happiness in the present.

Its an interesting sentiment... but ultimately it just rings a bit hollow yeah? As if nearly anyone would work 40 hours a week if they didnt have to. You think if 100 people were given enough money to cover their housing/food/leisure/travel they would go to a factory job 40 hours a week? Or even a job they enjoyed or had fun at? Or would they spend their time with loved ones, doing things they enjoy, filling their lives with interesting experiences they can enjoy in the moment and reflect back on?

I enjoy my job quite a bit, It even has value to me in that it contributes to society in a fulfilling way, but 100% I am looking forward to not being obligated to do it

I've pretty consistently chosen less hours and better working conditions over pay since I started to have that choice. It's made it a lot more tolerable. I'm currently on a four day week, with a minimal commute, good perks and a relatively stress free job that I took a pay cut for. My retirement savings look pretty slim, but due to my health the chance of a long one isn't much higher anyway.

Not without it's issues. Pay is pretty significantly below the median. Fortunately I'm not interested in having kids and I'm content living cheaply, even if it sounds boring. But I'm in a weird dead zone for government support; for instance - if I earned more, there are programs for "middle income" housing and the like that I earn too little to qualify for. Low income housing programs are a joke - with wait times being as much as a decade -but even if it wasn't I'm not high priority anyway. Also no way on earth I'm ever getting a home loan, even though mortgage repayments would be less than rent and I could conceivably make the deposit.

Plan the things you want to do into your life. Drop the notion "when I retire I will..." If you can fit the stuff you want to do into your Annual Leave then that's a big win. If not then you'll need unpaid leave. One good time is between jobs.

Trying to out-earn my age. Can you guess how that's going so far? :/

I just plan to live forever. Come 2176 I'm going to have enough money to retire in comfort.

I slack. Oh boy do I slack. I'd work so harder if I thought I would actually get something for it. In fact, when I started my latest job, I was doing just that, because it seemed this company was different, and it's something I'm naturally good at. Got commended by my boss about how much I was doing, how quickly I was learning, how in a year I had already surpassed the next most recent hire that had been there for 2 years... Then time came for my review, and it was a "meets expectations". Like wtf do I have to do to exceed expectations? Then not long after, they started denying me time off, saying I had taken too much. Supposedly we had unlimited PTO, of which I had taken 2 weeks so far that year (1 week in March, the rest just single days here and there), and my request was for a week in July... Anywho long story short, I've pretty much figured out exactly how much I have to fake being busy to not get negative attention, and I do that. I milk cases for all they're worth. And I'm still getting more done than half my colleagues. I hate it, but it pays decently, so I have a hard time throwing it away for something that might be more fulfilling, but doesn't pay as well...

That is shitty. My heart goes out.

Was just talking about how difficult work is going to make the next three days, so that I can't wait until they're over, but that's another week of my life where I'm wishing for days to pass so I can try to be happy again. Lame. Lame as fuck.

If you don't enjoy your job, try to change it. I don't love my job, but I like it; and the people are so great that it's a good fit. We still have to work, so make it something you don't loathe.

Yep, and there are definitely ways to reframe work in your head so you can make the super shitty stuff either neutral or even fun in a way. Years ago I used to hate a specific meeting with a horrendous manager and I realized I was getting so sour and jaded leading up to and for a few hours after that meeting. Then one day I made a buzzword bingo card and handed it to my peers. It turned that meeting into an hour of fun.

I had an epiphany: we could control what we got out of that meeting. My peers and I decided to do random shit like try to leave the meeting with the least action items. Which lead to some pretty hilarious dodging and weaving and (good natured) 'backstabbing"--"I think Sam should do that task since he already has so much experience and you need it so quickly. I'll shadow him."

Maybe this isn't the answer you're looking for: my job is my passion and the idea of retiring sounds horrible. I image it will only happen when I'm too senile to keep doing what I love, and that's clearly not something to look forward to. But who knows... I know old people who are tired and just want to rest.

(I got lucky, since I happened to be passionate about computer programming. I know most other people don't have the same option.)

(I got lucky, since I happened to be passionate about computer programming. I know most other people don't have the same option.)

When I was in high school I was very passionate about PC stuff (I mainly used Linux) and while there were not many careers about this where I live the few related ones I stayed away from them because I felt like turning your hobby into your job would get rid of the fun of it (I still think it to a degree, I see it in many hobby type sectors, like gaming).

I kinda regret my decision nowadays though, but still I feel I wouldn't enjoy my hobbies with timelines and crappy bosses, oh and making them rich in the process ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I love computing in general, it's just fascinating that we put electric into a bit of sand and people can be as creative as making immersive worlds, or be as positive as making lifesaving machinery, or just make Fortnite porn.

I started my post-secondary school study at college, fucking about on a particular study topic with Visual C++ as it was at the time on a winter evening. The kind of evening where it got dark early, you got up in darkness and went home in darkness.

It was towards the end of a particular day, sat at a terminal on such an evening, and the lights were so bright that you couldn't see out of the window but only your own reflection. I saw myself in the window, and honestly thought "fuck, do I really want to be doing this for another fifty years?"

...so I wrapped it that term, banked whatever qualifications I could, and fucked off into a different field where I'm out of the office at different locations most days. I get the benefit of both having a varied career and meeting people from vastly different backgrounds, while getting to go home and enjoy the nerdy tech life.

Admittedly, I have gone back to distance learning to tie off that loose end of working towards a degree in the field.

This is exactly where I'm at in the same type of gig. I do get a bit burnt by the end of the day but by 8pm I'm just counting hours until the next day because I want to dive back into the problems I'm working on.

I feel very lucky I've found a vocation that I love and pays handsomely. It's also working for fed gov so the benefits and work life balance are insanely great. Also, work from home.

If I went into the private sector I could probably make 50k more but I'm very comfortable now and the chance of me hating my life and job working to try and make someone else rich is not appealing at all. And that's all if the company doesn't fold or get acquired.

Fuck that noise

Nicely done. Find a job you love and you won't work a day in your life.

Eventually you get to the point where you age-out of joy. I mean, sure, you try to throw yourself into your work, try to squeeze some semblance of satisfaction out of that dried raisin of a career. But it’s never the same as it used to be. It’s hollow, just like you, and you hate all of it. But what else are you gonna do? So you do your time and go home and stare at the wall; you have no desire to watch tv because it’s all the same bullshit you’ve seen for years. When you do watch tv, usually with your spouse who is little more than a grumpy roommate now. The tv screen is transparent, and you see nothing but the studs in the wall. The family mills about, completely clueless to the misery you are living. Sure you laugh, but it’s without the twinkle in your eye that you once had. You tend to spend a lot more time in the bathroom staring at yourself in the mirror, telling yourself you want to blow your brains out, but never do. Sometimes you cry in isolation. Most of the time you are numb and you sit there in silence. Otherwise, you pretend to do stuff until nightfall. Finally. You down some sleeping pills, go to bed early, doom-scroll for a few hours until the meds kick in. Lights out. You wake a few hours later, before the rest of the fucking world it seems, muttering the word “fuck”. Not with the frolicking fun connotation of youth, but in utter despair that you awoke at all. Again. So you drag yourself to that mirror, brushing your teeth, put on that hollow smile and start the day over. repeat. And again. And again.

I’m sorry, what was the question?

That's not an inevitability of life, that's just severe depression, my guy. Get help.

I simply work part time on purpose. I don't have my own place (flatmates) so we all split the COL. It's not truly freedom, but it feels a lot more free than when I worked full time. I usually have enough to save a little and also because of this I am able to travel a few times a year. But you have to be REALLY able to manage your finances to live like this. I have no credit card and prepay everything ahead of time. It leaves me with a lot more time to enjoy LIFE. and feel less constantly tired as well.

Dunno but I am hoping aliens invade in the following years and make our existence more enjoyable than this ...

Of course there are better systems, but the rich and powerful hold all the cards.

  • I live in the UK, so I get 25 days off work, and I take full advantage of that, I rarely do staycations.

  • I'm about to buy a property and I'm deliberately going to get a mortgage where my monthly payments are not as much as I can possibly afford, but a bit less. This means that it will take me longer to pay it off, and overall it will cost me more, but I will have more disposable income today to spend on life's pleasures.

  • I don't have kids and don't plan to.

  • I stay physically active, just simple going to the gym 5-6 days a week. And I think this is really important. It will keep your body in shape and by the time your 60 or 70, you'll be able to do much more than your average peers who spent their middle age doing office jobs followed by evenings in front of the TV. And here, instead of my 41-year-old self, I'm going to use the example of my mum. She's turning 70 next year, but it was only when she was 68 that she started taking swimming lessons and she got to love it. It was also around that time that I floated the idea to her "why don't I take you for holidays to New York". She was all "no, no, I'm too old, it's too much walking, you took me for a holiday to London when I was 55 and I was totally exhausted, I wouldn't be able to do New York at this age." Now that she's had over 1.5 years of almost daily swimming (and cycling, she's also a keen cyclist) - she said yes. She said she's feeling perfectly fine doing long walks, she's more energised, and she already gave me a list of what she wants to see in New York.

  • Other than physical activity, scientists seem to agree that the other two pillars of long and healthy life are good sleep, and good diet. For the former, I recommend reading Why we sleep by Matthew Walker. And good diet means varied diet, vegetable-rich diet, and low-calorie diet (too many books agree on that for me to recommend a specific one).

I stay physically active, just simple going to the gym 5-6 days a week.

jesus fuck how is that simple?

Are you talking about time constraints? (again - no parental responsibilities here, so pretty simple) Or are you asking how I motivate myself?

Also, I meant simple as in, I don't play any sports, or do some varied types of physical activity. Just gym.

Both?
Working a full time job leaves neither time nor energy for that, for example.

I work a full time job. 5 days a week, 8h a day. I don't have many other responsibilities, so it's not that hard. I would say that gym consumes 2h in one day, including traveling to and from (although my gym is like 1 minute off my route to work) changing before and showering after and that includes 60-75 minute workout. Days when I make plans with friends in the evening are trickier but if I stay disciplined, I make it work. Also, I start work at 7 and leave around 3.30, so I'm home around 6pm after a day of work and gym. And as for being drained after work, my job is mainly thinking (I'm a scientist). I don't know what you do, but I can imagine having a physically demanding job can indeed discourage from the thought of lifting some dumbbells after a whole day.

As for motivation, don't have much more to advise than: you just have to force yourself. I guess sticking with it for a few months and seeing the effects is indirectly motivating. Scientists say that will power itself is like a muscle: the more you exercise it, the more of it you seem to have. Every day is an internal struggle for me, fending off the thought "maybe just today... I can skip gym?" Sometimes I cave, but I do manage to make it 5-6 days a week.

Maybe it's just a 10min walk to the gym? Saves a lot of money for membership as well.

Simple doesnt necessarily mean easy to accomplish. I took it to mean they just go and so something as opposed to some structured, unwavering plan or training so hard they cant walk 5 days out of the weak.

Could probably accomplish something similar with 100-200 squats and push ups a day, but going to the gym gives you more variety

Yes, I guess whatever regular physical activity is good. But not gonna lie, during the pandemic when gyms were closed and all I had to stay active was my dumbbells at home, it was pretty much harder to motivate myself to do the limited number of exercises available to me in this set up. Gym does allow for some variety.

Your point about the mortgage eventually costing you more in the long run is exactly what I advocate for. So many moneybros out there advocate for living in squalor so you can both aggressively save for retirement and pay down all your loans.

But life is uncertain and even if you live a healthy life, you never know if you'll just be hit by a car and killed one day.

Life is about maintaining a balance. Sure, save for retirement, but don't do so so aggressively that you ruin your ability to be happy now.

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As a kid, I was traumatized by the idea that I'd need to work until I'm old and then maybe spend another decade or two being too old to do the things I wanted before I eventually die. I was so distraught over "the way things are" that I constantly fantasized about running away and building my own tree house in the woods to live in, à la Swiss Family Robinson style.

And this was a time before inflation and property prices got out of hand. We were still fed the idea that getting a college education and a good paying job would help us live comfortably, while still saving up for retirement.

Then I joined the US military, thanks to the advice of my uncle who was a retired Air Force Chief Master Sergeant. 20 years later, at only 38 years old, I officially retired and earned myself a pension equal to about half my monthly pay, which I will collect automatically for the rest of my life. Unfortunately, the military did away with the pension program about 7 years ago, so any newbies will have to do their new BRS program. (Basic Retirement System; basically the federal govt's version of a 401K) I was lucky enough to be grandfathered into the old pension program when I retired 2 years ago.

On top of that, a bunch of physical and mental injuries accrued over 20 years (thanks to serving during wartime) has earned me the coveted 100% Permanent & Total disability rating with the VA, which means I get free medical and dental for life, as well as a monthly paycheck from the VA that's bigger than my pension. I'm making more money in retirement than I did while serving! So I can be fully retired now.

My wife also served in the military, but she didn't make it to retirement. She was medically discharged about 12 years into service. But fortunately, her medical issues also earned her the rare 100% Total & Permanent disability rating from the VA as well. So she enjoys all the same benefits as I do, including a sizeable VA paycheck every month for life.

While I was serving, I bought houses in 2 separate places I was stationed, and I rented them out when I left. I hired on a property manager to act as landlord in my absence (since they're in different states from where I currently live) and they take 10% of the monthly rent as their pay, which incentivizes them to keep tenants in the house, as they don't get paid if it's empty. They literally take care of everything; I only get contacted if they need to make a financial decision, i.e. hiring a plumber, replacing a washing machine, etc.

I make sure to charge afforable rates for rent, not price-gouge like a lot of landlords do nowadays. I'm not relying on income from these houses, so I don't need to squeeze every penny out of them that I can. I'm very quick to fix issues, too. These houses were in excellent condition when I lived there (one was a brand-new build when I moved in) and I want to keep them in immaculate condition, so I make sure to do quality repairs and not just cheap patch jobs. I charge just enough to cover my mortgage (which was really cheap when I bought them around a decade ago) plus the property manager's share. When both houses are paid off, that rent money (minus 10%) is just passive income to supplement my pension and disability pay.

I've also been living in my childhood home for the past couple years, which my father owned until he passed away last week, so I will be inheriting the house and all 6 acres it's on. Basically a free house. Oh, and the military paid me a separate monthly housing allowance to afford rent/mortgage payments while I was serving, so I didn't have to spend any of my own money on the 2 houses I bought. The military covered my mortgage while I lived there and tenants are paying my mortgage now. So I technically own 3 houses that I didn't need to spend any of my own money on.

Besides all this, I also have some investments going through my cousin, who works for an investment firm. I'm pretending those investments don't exist until actual retirement age, so they'll accrue in value over the next couple decades and hopefully be a sizeable retirement nest egg.

So through a lot of dumb luck (and some smart choices), I've managed to not only avoid working until I'm too old to enjoy life, but I actually have some decent income to live comfortably on. I'm not wealthy by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm living cozy enough to relax and enjoy the second half of my life at my own pace, without a job to afford my way of life.

This is what life should be like for everyone. We're not here to work for the rest of our lives, that's just capitalist propaganda, fed to us since grade school. We only get one shot at life, so it should be lived! There should be plentiful options to make passive income in the second half of your life so you can enjoy living. But the capitalist machine doesn't work if there are no workers to power it, so we're stuck in this broken worker bee system for the majority of our lives.

You're making passive income from disability, a pension system that no longer exists, and owning 3 houses you didn't pay for based off of programs no longer available to anyone starting out now. While collecting "market rate" rent (which conveniently always increases).

The disability, I'm fine with. My buddy had the same thing from the Marines and he more than earned the 100% rating, as I'm sure you and your wife did.

However, this whole thing where you're talking about with retiring off of passive income... that was a LOT of words to say:

I'm a landlord

I really wish you would have said this first, because your long winded story about houses and "passive income streams" gives me the impression that you know the house-related part all boils down to being a landlord, and I get the impression you buried that fact to obfuscate it. You're making money from other people's work, in the form of the rent they pay to you (minus a small fee to the property managers), while doing literally no work yourself, as you explicitly explained.

I hired on a property manager to act as landlord in my absence (since they’re in different states from where I currently live) and they take 10% of the monthly rent as their pay, which incentivizes them to keep tenants in the house, as they don’t get paid if it’s empty.

He's actually even more of a dick it turns out.

The problem is not landlords, which have existed for thousands of years. The problem is that the first time homebuyer programs suck ass. They're like "only 3% down payment! But you have to pay extra PMI, so it's still expensive monthly."

If the government really wanted to subsidize housing, they would subsidize home construction workers and materials. Right now old construction workers have to retire due to age or become contractors. So there are a ton of crappy contractors who have no business sense and a lot of construction experience.

Imagine if you could go to school for free to build your own house! Land in the US is almost free outside of major cities. The expensive part is workers and materials.

Just because landlords have existed thousands of years doesn't make the situation right. There are lots of harmful things society has been doing or did for thousands of years. Feudalism isn't one of the high points of humanity, to say the least.

If he lived in his primary residence and did honest, productive work (Or hell, even just collect disability, pension, SS, every damn cent the government will give them, I'm all for that!) There would be 3 more houses that families could buy as primary residences (in an ideal world). Yes, I know there is nuance, PE firms like Black Rock and speculators will probably buy some of them up, etc. etc. so you don't need to "actually" me here, just work with me here on the ideal that those houses would be bought fair and square by primary residents.

Home prices would be lower if landlords weren't hoarding them, and 3% + PMI would be lower as a result. It's simple supply and demand, most kids learn about that in Jr. High School. And when certain people hoard supply, there is less supply to meet the demand, therefore higher prices on the demand side. They are sucking value out of society and not giving back or doing an hour of fair work. Providing housing for over-inflated prices without giving equity is not giving back, it's just taking. When landlords talk high and mightily about charging "fair rent prices," that's code for "as much as the market will let me exploit them."

It's easy to see everything as fair when you're out of touch on top of an ivory tower.

"Kings are not a problem, they've lasted for thousands of years."

It's funny and sad at the same time that you had to expand so much on your landlord duties. I'm sorry this network has preconditioned you to this point.

Lemmy really has become an echo chamber of losers :(

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For me, I look to the past to see what life could have been like were I born 100 - 200 -500 - 1,000 years ago and try to find the positives that being born now has.

And the reality is that even as soon as 100 years ago life was much, much harder and worse in almost every metric. Brutal jobs, brutal hours, with safety of no concern, even if you were a child. Housing? You were lucky if you could heat your home in some way in the winter, and air conditioning didnt even exist yet. Physical labor jobs were a large amount of the work, so many people simple worked themselves into uselessness and then suffered the rest of their lives.

It doesnt get much better going back further than that really. Plague anyone?

Today we enjoy a massive, massive amount of comfort in our lives. Have amazing, tasty, and safe food at our fingertips almost without issue. Can travel the entire globe effortlessly when even a cross country trek could have been a multi-month brutal affair with a death sentence for half the travel party. Modern medicine eliminates so many of the issues of the past.

In reality very few people "just" work for 40 years and then retire useless husks and then die. I suspect you spend some time with friends and loved ones, perhaps even travel and engage in leisure time kings and queens of 200 years ago couldnt dream of during those 40 years.

Lets be honest, my retirement plan is my corpse getting tossed in a dumpster.

Existential dread. I am not here to be a wage slave but I can't figure out how to get out. I just drink a lot

I hate it. I started learning about FIRE, Financial Independence, Retire Early. The great part is that you can do what you want, you just have to match your spending to your income.

I hope for a better system for my kids' friends. (My kids will have me guiding them.)

The chase to grind up from Proletarian to Petite Bourgeoisie to eventually Bourgeoisie just to escape the Capitalist hellhole is downright dystopian.

I got out!

Rented out my apt to others and the tiny difference to my advantage was enough to sustain myself in south America (working a bit and or volunteer or living in free housing(my ex's)

I now got some more money (sold the apt) and do holiday rentals here, but even without that it's just few hundred per month for food and going out, maybe 95$ extra for social local Healthcare (for 2!)

Don't ever think you need to be a millionaire to get out. Government guaranteed bonds pay 9.5% per year.

So each 10k usd you put in a guaranteed usd account = 87$ free money each month. Need 50k for bit over 400$/mo which is the local minimum wage. 100% government guaranteed (if you split in 2 banks)

For me I decided young that I needed a career that would take me places so I could have life experiences and maybe get a few bucks.

I applied to everything everywhere while I was working and always thought "it may suck, but at least it will be different."

There are better systems, but IMO I was never able to find or capitalize on them so i needed to focus on what my current goals were keeping in the back of my mind that this is a marathon, not a sprint.

Be aware that your peers that do amazing work and get promotions, get that easy job or just get a lucky break only affect your life negatively if you let it.

Positive "coping mechanisms" help when dealing with stress (exercise routine, yoga, whateverworks for you), when negative coping mechanisms hurt.

I've been lucky enough to live and work in some amazing places, and 35 years later we have finally found a place we want to "settle".

Cry myself to sleep.

On top of being too old, I'll be too poor, so I'll probably just neck myself around ~70.

Years ago my dad made a change at work. He was working in the wood shop at a factory, making cabinetry and such with wood. For a few bucks more an hour he could take a job doing something mindless and slow, and he needed the money.

Fast forward 6 mo and he can't go back to the old job, but this one is so boring that he's beyond hating it: he actually vomits before every shift because he just doesn't want to go but he has to.

We moved and he sold fucking lawnmowers for about 6 years.

But we moved. And he changed; and later he got a job as a groundskeeper and that was awesome for him because in the downtime he could do anything he liked onsite. He built cabinets and renovated the work areas and basically everything he used to do.

Don't cry yourself to sleep. When you get that random occasional burst of energy, I hope you remember to focus on "this sucks. What do I want to do instead" and then "okay how do i escape this shit and get there" and then keep breaking down each step into what is possible.

Get there.

The sad part is I love my job, I work in education so helping children is amazingly rewarding, the pay and bullshit parts of the job is utterly crushing however but I know if I'm not doing it, it's going to fall to someone unqualified and I can't do that to 'em.

I can't imagine stopping to work. If I retire, I'll have no money. I cannot count on pension either.

But I have an IT job, it's just sitting in front of the computer all day; it's not like a physical job I wouldn't be able to do at old age.

Just wait until your eyesight fails you, and the joint that makes your mouse button click starts hurting.

Things that you love to do after work (like playing video games) start to sound like chores.

Shit, the 2nd paragraph hit much earlier than that. It hit me even before my 30th bday

Yep, here I am suffering some pain on my right shoulder, wrist an index finger after yesterday's small gaming session.

Still, gotta Doom.

I'd rather pick that, than starve to death.

Goes without saying.

Just take care of yourself and make sure you work for a living and not the other way around, that's my motto.

I'm not planning on being able to have an IT job in my old age. Seems likely that ageism or economic factors will conspire to make sure I can't. I'm planning on possibly involuntary retirement in my 50s.

If you work IT and can't envision having enough money saved to retire then you're doing something wrong.

I don't just work it's not like nothing else happens. I get it's tough and frustrating but life is good even if work sucks sometimes

Living with disability like I do means that process has sped up significantly.

If you're lucky enough to find something you're passionate about you may not begrudge the work week. I never have, so i work to live, got into a reasonable paying sector, didn't waste money on oversized property or flash motors, as they're not my bag, but used the cash to go adventuring at weekends, snow boarding in winter, the job takes up more time than I'd like but i'm earning freedom tokens. That mentality helped me at least.

I don’t live for retirement like a lot of American culture has historically taught us to do. I work to live first and that means, as much as I can within my means, taking the time and investment to have experiences while I can. Too many people in my life have died before getting to retire without having done anything with their lives because they were so focused on having enough money to retire with that it’s not a regret I’m willing to risk.

I am taking reasonable steps toward financial security as I age, but it’s a secondary concern to living for now. If I die in a gutter, I’ll do it knowing I’ve lived the best life I could.

Volunteer. The options are endless, you get to support your community and meet amazing people, and sometimes there's lunch involved.

First off, I'd try to find as much balance and joy as possible now. Don't wait for retirement. None of us know if we'll even be around at that point.

I also make sure to vote for people who want more work/life balance and more universal public services. Vacation time, family and parental leave, universal healthcare, affordable education, etc. Those are all things that free you mind to think about life and not just the basic necessities and surviving.

I found a job with a career track that I can retire from in 25 years max and I already have 5 years of service. The system you envision doesn't really exist yet.

I've been thinking about this since middle school (when I was thinking about what was waiting for me after school, which I wasn't much a fan of either) and I just distract myself by doing things I enjoy. If it occupies my mind too much, I take a hit of copium and tell myself that maybe I'll get lucky and strike it rich somehow to let me retire early.

the ideal way would be to build up passive income and/or outwaging your living costs by double or triple, but god knows how hard that is.

It is easy as shit to do that!

Step 1: Be born into wealth.

I don't know the other steps because I missed step one, but everyone I know that succeeded at step 1 is set for life.

I've got "30 and out" at my union factory, so I'll retire at 56 which isn't so bad. Course, I'll lose my health insurance but it's free til then 🤷‍♂️

Sir, “Retired” is the opposite of “Start”.

The key is to do your living now while you still can. Don't waste your youth on a grind that will get you nothing.

There are better options for those who find a way.

I love my job. I have crippling depression, so I won't live to retirement.

I hope you get through that.

Depression sucks, but it doesn't last forever and there's people who care about you, whether you think so or not.

I'm half done. I've kept up my health and I'm trying to improve it even more. When I hit 65 I won't be too old to do much.

But the real question should be what are you waiting until retirement to do and why not do it sooner?

Because at the age of 36 I'm financially treading water and a week off here and there is enough time to de-stress from work, not enough time to do what I'd really like to.

You answered the why not without answering the what you want part. I'm sure you have a good reason to prioritize finances over your goals though. Good luck.

The answer is: do a job you like and do the things you like. I’m due to retire in ten years and won’t be doing so. I won’t work as much but I will work

It’s easier in some countries than others. But the key is not wasting time on things that you feel pressured to do because of societal norms or because you’re too lazy to do anything different.

I keep finding myself trying to imagine how to make enough money so my mom doesn't have to do this.

Have you heard of the five stages of grief? That's probably the best first way to deal with it. No capitalist/socialist/fascist/technocratic/authoritarian utopia will be able to fix that. I don't believe there is a better system yet than what the western world already has. Maybe one day UBI will exist and everyone will have more freedom to enjoy their passions but even then it you'll still have to work most of your life.

Best you can do is figure out what you want out of your life and take the steps to do it. Like what most people have said, living below your means helps with funding your goals and protecting yourself against accidents. Find ways to do what you want now but know there's always a trade off. It isn't fair but I don't think it ever has been, except for a very privileged class of people.

Times are tough, but here's what's worked for me so far:

  1. Spend less than you make
  2. Keep a budget
  3. Keep debts to a minimum
  4. If you live with your parents, try to save as much as you can
  5. Have an end goal

Depending on your circumstances, you might only have to work for 20 years, and if you do what you love, it won't feel like work.

Yes there are lots of useless jobs out there, but at least you're putting food on the table.

But also, you have to look at it from another angle.

Picture work as your way of trying to help advance humanity. Jobs, other than the useless ones I mentioned, all should have a reason behind their existence.

How about the fact that I literally cannot afford to house and feed my family with me and my wife working a useful job like teaching, so instead I'm driving around delivering pizzas because otherwise we would be out of money?

Yeah I’m doing whatever I want as long as there’s still some life left in this body. Opted for a career that gets me to live all over the world, decided very early on that I’ll never have kids, and live my life to the fullest.

Accidentally I’m also really good at what I do and got people pay me big time to live where I want to be. About to move to my 10th country on the third continent.

Hate to say it, but I actually enjoy my job. Would I rather be playing video games and vacationing with friends in the mountains? Of course. But I'd also like to eat potato chips and pizza every day, which would get boring. I work in oil and gas, in environmental, and the money is decent and everyone is just trying really hard to do the right thing and meet government regulatory requirements at every step--regardless of mainstream anti-O&G sentiments. I deal with technical challenges, engineering complexity, and social diversity every day and my brain is better off for it than if I were just cozy on my couch instead. I do consider becoming self employed though--not because I hate my job, but because I would appreciate more control over my own life.

Don't follow someone else's path. I took a year off to travel in my 20s, a year off to sail in my 30s, and now that I'm 40 I'm planning another year long adventure in the next 5 years. I wasn't born into wealth, I spent less than I earned, invested the rest, and avoided debt. Don't get a big house in the suburbs with a mortgage, new lease car every 4 years, student loans, etc unless that's what your actually want. Set yourself up for success with smart money management so you can do what you want.

This advice only works for those who earn enough money to save and invest. After rent, food, other living expenses im lucky enough to save up until the next emergency drains my funds.

Can you move to a place where the earning to spending ratio is more in your favor? Somewhere with cheaper living expenses or higher pay?

im at 30+ (if you don't include working while at school but depending on your parents but still basically constantly having to do something you don't really want to) and the real scary thing is I don't see a time where I will be able to afford to retire but at somepoint I just will physically or mentally not be able to and then I have not idea how I will make things work since everything will get more expensive given I am physically and mentally unable to do things like work. socail security will be a bit inadequate and savings will drain until presumably I will be in some medicaid institution with my wife.

Enjoy life now and realise that the 65 of tomorrow isn't the 65 of 100 years ago?

People live in good shape for at least 15 years after they retire, just stay in shape in the meantime and you'll be both having fun while you're young and having fun when you retire.

And retirement age is being bushed back using that as an argument.

Depends where you live and also on how much you're able to set aside, but worst case you're still keeping yourself in shape and doing activities in the meantime. That's what people like OP seem to skip over, work doesn't have to be the only thing you do with your life for 40 years (for most people anyway).

You simply work

Because like it or not, you need resources to live. The entire bullshit fairytale (or furry tail) of working in your own vegetable garden to live off the lands IS STILL WORKING YOU LAZY ASSHOLE. And it will be working a lot harder for a lot less resources with a lot more risk when your crops fail

Somehow you snowflake types (sorry, but yeahyou "I hate to work, hoe can I sit on my ass for the next 40 years and have someone take care of me?) somehow really roped yourself into the idea that you can live off air or something. No matter how you do It, no matter what system you implement, you still gotta work!

I worked hard for what I got and I don't have much, and that is fine, I have enough z I don't needs a super yacht (nor should anyone, but that is a different story). Yes, I too sometimes have bad day and don't want to get out of bed but then I just make myself, you know, have some discipline?

You will NOT be able to get by doing nothing unless you leech off and abuse someone else, or an entire group. Until we have fully human like AI robots thatcan do all of our tasks, humans are required to do work, PERIOD.

If nobody will work anymore and we all go to our fantasy vegetable garden then within months, medicine will run out, say goodbye to grandma and everyone that has diabetes or cancer or anything else, and that goodbye will be painful and excruciating. Then after a few months millions more will die from food shortages. Want to complain about it on the internet? Well fuck you because fuck you, because nobody is working anymore and the internet doesn't work on magic, it runs on hard human labor, meaning that WE HAVE TO WORK.

Putting it on "but evil corporations!!" is a bullshit excuse as well. Like it or not, you need them. Without those evil corporations, no more medication, no more food, no more electricity, no more life for the vast majority of all of us. That evil corporations should change for the better is something that nobody will deny but that is a different story BECAUSE YOU STILL HAVE TO WORK YOU ENTITLED ASSHOLE.

So yes, you are lazy and yes, you need to get off your ass and stop leeching off your mommie. Sorry to be harsh about it but this post just really shows you are entitled and lazy and your post is just really insulting to those that try to live a responsible life and help others. Stop thinking about yourself, you're not the only one here.

/rant

Everyone knows work is necessary, what isn't necessary is 40+ hours a week so some Capitalist can buy another yacht from exploitation of your labor.

Nobody thinks work is unnecessary, this is a strawman.

I don't doubt that you've worked hard, but I do believe you should own your labor, not some Capitalist.

Again, nobody is suggesting literally zero work. Just restructuring.

More strawmanning, blah blah blah.

No, we don't need corporations owned by a few people, workers can own and run the Means of Production without someone exploiting their labor.

No, this post shows that you're incredibly out of touch with what people are advocating for.

Tldr.

There is something between doing absolutely nothing, and working your ass off to make someone else rich. Most of us want that middle ground.

I don't think the person who posted this was complaining about having to do work at all. They were complaining about how much work needs to be done and for how long you have to do it and for the fact that you can't enjoy the reward at the end of it cause you're too old to do stuff. Which are all valid complaints and at the end of the day comes down to greedy corporations trying to milk workers for every last penny of value they can get from them for as long as possible. Times have changed a lot since many of our norms about 40 hour work weeks and retirement ages were established, and since then workers are much more efficient. So I think it's good to discuss changing these things to take some of those benefits from increased efficiency and give that value to the workers rather than just letting the corporations take it for their profits and investors.