Your body is now "out of warranty". When it breaks in a significant way, it may never get fully better. Don't do stupid stuff that will break it in those ways.
If you haven't figured out yet that you can't drink, party, or skip sleep like you did earlier in life, learn it quick. Each of these will have a much larger impact on you.
If you don't have your retirement savings on track now, you have a VERY VERY short window to correct that. Its going to be much harder now to put the money aside than it would have earlier in life, but you're in the prime earning years of your life. I would think you will earn more now in the next 10-12 years or so than you will/would have in any 10-12 years of your life.
Hopefully you've learned by now to be comfortable with yourself in your own skin. This means not doing things/buying things to impress other people. You are who you are. This doesn't mean stop learning or improving yourself, but nobody is going to be impressed with a 40+ year old driving an amazing car. It doesn't matter how amazing the car is.
Support younger people. You didn't get where you are on your own. You had help, advice, and your mistakes were forgiven by those older than you because of your youth. Now its your turn to do that for the younger people. You grew up seeing heroes around you. You are now the hero in a younger person's eyes. Hold that duty sacred. Be their hero in how you act.
Embrace change! No, things aren't like they used to be. No, they shouldn't necessarily go back to those things just to make you comfortable. Its not our world anymore, it belongs to the younger generations. Understand your ways could be out-of-date or backwards. Your old ways worked for you in that old world. That old world is gone. Be part of the new. You'll have to do this two or three more times before you die if you live into your 80s or 90s.
Stay fit. That doesn't mean body builder or supermodel. It means be moderately active so that picking something up doesn't cause a strain injury that will take you 6 months to a year to recover from. You shouldn't be out of breath walking up stairs. If you are, make changes. You're likely already seeing the difference in your peers with those that stayed fit vs those that didn't. Be part of the first group, not the second. If you are in the second group, you can change to the first by taking care of your body and eating properly.
Make a will. You will die and there is nothing you can do to stop it. Dying without having a will makes some of your assets evaporate in probate and may mean your money/assets go to people you may not want.
Go to the goddamn doctor for wellness checkups! You're entering the time of life where conditions found early are treatable. Don't dying/become disabled because you were too lazy or afraid to go. Yes, some of the things are going to be uncomfortable, but I can tell you its much more comfortable than debilitating pain or death.
You might look at the list above and think it negative for you now. Its not at all. This is the prize for living to this age. You likely have some friend or family that died before 40. You are here to see this part of your life. Make sure you're still here to see 50, 60, 70, with as much of your body and mind as you can.
Good luck!
I tell myself every day that I'm not working out for my beach body, I'm working out for my old lady body. I just want to be able to tie my own shoes when I'm 70.
This is a great way to frame it. Thank you.
You've got more lofty goals than I do. :)
I'd just like to extend the years I'm able to go to the bathroom by myself without another human required to help me relieve myself.
They were discussing this on the radio the other day - one of the key things is being able to get out of a chair without using your hands.
I think there's a lot of value in just lying down on the floor and getting up like ten times a day. Being unable to get up after a fall is a huge problem for older people.
I'm only 31, but I'm going to do all of these things anyway.
It's advice you should probably start following as early as possible - that way you are in a better place to head off any future unpleasantness.
Still socialize and hang out. It is very helpful for your mind. Do hobbies and stuff.
Having gone through probate with my Dad’s Will, I learned that you want to do as much as possible to avoid probate altogether. Trusts and/or Quitclaim deeds or other instruments that an estate planner can setup can make the whole process alot smoother. Otherwise a Will isn’t the ironclad document you may think it is, it’s more like just a set if guidelines.
This is true wisdom right here.
This is all such sound advice, I hope all young people in this thread take it to heart!
Nice to see this instead of a meme. I came here to meme. I suck.
Just off the top of my head:
If It's at all possible, retire early! Look into FIRE (Financial Independence, Retire Early)
Carry as little debt as possible
Max out your 401k (otherwise you're leaving money on the table!), build a savings account, and maintain at least 6 months' expenses worth of cash in an emergency account
Where you can, plan ahead for large purchases (e.g., vacations, new roof) and make them in cash instead of financing them
Minimize consumption of goods to maximize financial power (i.e., don't get sucked into lifestyle creep!)
Do spend money on things that are high-quality and will last
Lift heavy things often
Don't skip cardio
Hydrate!
Use sunblock (physical >>> chemical)
Get your routine medical stuff (e.g., mammograms start at 40), even the uncomfortable ones (colonoscopy!), and don't wait until minor things become major to get them checked out
Be calm, rational, and intentional in your interactions with others, and if you've behaved poorly, give a heartfelt apology. This is especially important with your significant other.
Pay closer attention to your parents' needs - they are aging and will start to need help they may not be willing to ask for
Don't be afraid to remove bullshit from your life. That one "friend" who you never want to hang out with because they just drain your energy? It's OK to let that friendship go.
I don't have kids so no advice there.
I'm well old enough to be your daddy. Here are some things you should pay attention to.
Have a reason to get up every day you can breathe. Because if you have no reason to, you will wither and die. I've seen it happen and it ain't pretty.
Time will seem to accelerate. You will slowly start to notice that the "past" gets farther behind you quicker and the "now" flies by to become that "past" and the "future" gets here far too soon.
Like it or not, you are getting closer every day to dying rather than living no matter what you do. Make your peace with that concept because no one gets out alive.
Buy a nice suit. You will probably be going to the weddings of the children of your friends or your own children. And far more sadly, the funerals of family and friends. And at some point in time, the funerals will out number the weddings.
Start doing things for society. Get involved in your community. Help build a park or two or three, teach kids something - I spent 4 years tutoring/teaching math to kids in a small rural school during COVID. It did cost me some health, (Thanks! long COVID), but it was worth everything it cost and I would do it all over again. Those kids did more for me than I could do for them.
Physical exercise is great but don't forget to exercise the mind also. Because if you don't, you will lose cognition and the ability to think perhaps faster than your physical health - and this is my greatest fear. Cultivate hobbies that stimulate mental challenges. And a diet of video games ain't it. Go fishing, bird watching, gardening, do art. Something, anything, that challenges the mind to solve problems and be creative. I design and build metal model steam engines and 3D printed items to try and keep my mind sharp. I try to learn new skills every chance I get.
As much as it might be fun to travel the world and see new places and people, there is a whole world to explore right outside your door. Go explore it and really learn the details of it. It will surprise you with it's beauty and complexity. You don't need to be rich to explore the world.
Teach something to someone. You know things - pass it on to others. Do not let the knowledge die with you.
Learn to laugh at yourself - do not fear looking silly. It can help make people feel more comfortable with you and with themselves.
And finally, live a good life. Be kind and be there for the world when it needs you. Leave a legacy for others to remember you by - even if it was only a kind word at the right time. The memory of you is all the world will have - leave your mark on it.
Good Luck! We all need it!
Pretty good advice, except the bit about eschewing video games. Bird watching is more mentally stimulating than piloting a T28 in extreme battle conditions? You're out of your fucking element, Donny.
Idk, video games are absolutely mentally stimulating, but it's less fulfilling than a variety of activities.
Cultivating multiple disparate hobbies is good though imo. Let's you experience new problems and new people and new things. Video games are great though, in moderation like all things.
I say this after binging palworld for the last couple weeks 😃
Yeah the rest made sense but that bit. Games can be extremely challenging much more so than any other mental activity you'll end up doing.
Especially if you play a lot of different kinds. Just learning new games and figuring them out is plenty mentally challenging.
I did not say you shouldn't play video games at all. But you miss the total picture of an activity like bird watching. Bird watching involves actually getting up, getting dressed, getting you gear and camera ready, and getting out into the "real world" to do. Often with groups of other like minded people enjoying the hobby. And not sitting on your ass in a room alone for hours on end.
It's about being involved with the outside world and the physical effort interacting with other real in-person humans that matters. As a medic I was paged out at times to people who were lonely and just wanted someone - anyone - to actually be with and talk to. Sometimes they would even have a suitcase packed and ready for the trip to a hospital. Playing a video game online won't give you the same social interaction as someone actually being there with you.
And now being old myself, I understand even more just how important it is to have regular physical social interaction for good mental health. And just like sitting alone on a bench in a shopping mall, a video game lobby or team match isn't quite the same thing.
As someone who birdwatches and plays video games, I do not agree with most of what you've said here. You've oversimplified video gaming in the most small minded way (i.e. just sitting on your ass in a room), while glorifying birdwatching which I could easily simplify as just sitting on your ass on a bench.
That said, I appreciate you taking the time to reply. You needn't do so again for my benefit.
I really appreciate this post. Thank you!
40 is where your slow decline from your 20s and 30s starts to accelerate.
Be more active, but not so active you risk injury.
As a person in their low 40’s who recently became active again and keeps getting injured trying to go at it like I did 15 years ago, listen very closely to that second part folks.
Ease into it. Don’t overtrain.
stretch
Fookin' hell. Came here to say this too. Ouchie
Eat your vegetables and exercise.
If you're fat, lose weight. It's a risk factor for practically everything and you're getting old now whether you like it or not. You can at least stop causing further damage.
Read books. It helps you stay sharp. If you just can't read, do something else daily that uses your brain.
Unfortunately, there's a reason that you hardly see many fat, old people.
Does reading lemmy count as using my brain?
Maybe? Depends on the community, I guess...lol
Do whatever you can to get away. Even for just 3 day weekends. Even just camping should be inexpensive enough.
If you can afford more ... Get as far away as possible. Stop making excuses.
Smoke weed erry day
In fact, smoke 2 joints before you smoke 2 joints
Then smoke two more
epic guitar jam
best 2 comments in this thread.
Didn't see anyone suggest it, but I can't recommend it enough, spend time with your parents, and, if they're still alive, your grandparents!
If you were a late baby like me, your parents are likely getting into their 70s now. You may have 20 years with them. You may have 5. I'm lucky if get to see mine once a month because of work. That's around 60-240 times left to see them. If I spend an hour with them each time(which is a stretch), that's 10 days tops. Enjoy the time you have with them and pray you're lucky.
Also, if you have any loved ones, tell them you love them every chance you get. My wife and I have traded "I love you"s nearly every day for the past 23 years. You never know when it'll be the last time, so say it as much as you can to anyone you care about! It doesn't cost anything, and tell me it's not great to hear when someone says it to you. Spread that shit around!
Lastly, if you can afford it, travel. You don't have to travel the whole world, and it doesn't have to cost a fortune. I know people hate on them, but my wife and I book at least 1 AirBnB a year. We find a cheap place that's only a day's drive away and book it for a week. Just get outside of the safety net that is the streets and places you know.
For that matter, take any opportunity you can to make new memories. We are creatures of habit, and our brains don't like to waste. It's believed that one of the reasons our days feel like they fly by is because we're following a routine that our brain meshes with the memory of similar experiences and routines to save energy. Being in new places, experiencing new things, and making new memories may help with breaking up those moments where the day, week, month, or year are gone in a flash.
Most physical things are use it or lose it, so don't slow down, move around, have sex, dance, lift weights and definitely do yoga but:
The one physical effect I've suffered getting older is that it takes for fucking ever to heal or recover. So don't neglect rest and recovery either. Especially with lifting, every other day may work better now.
Don't get old too soon, because then if you live a long time, you might be old for decades, wait until you are closer to the end to get old.
Most of all - enjoy! Enjoy life, now you have more experience and can feel it more. Like really look around at all the amazing things in the world. Even now. So much beauty, so much joy.
My (now deceased) grandpa could probably still show my dad a thing or two in regards to strength at the time he was alive.
Afaik he trained GSD for police duty.
My still alive grandpa though becoming old still tendes to his garden.
I'm 56F and honestly stronger than I've ever been, but slower OMG, can't run fast or jump but can stand on my hands, do pushups, all sorts of things I couldn't do when younger. Strength training is also important because strong muscles make stronger bones.
Don't let people tell you to "act your age" you still be silly and fun.
Try not to do that again; it's very bad for the space-time continuum.
Keep an eye on your health. Yearly checkups, bloodwork, etc. as well as paying attention to what you eat and how much you move.
Be thinking about retirement and what you can do/invest to prepare. What this looks like depends heavily upon the country in which you live.
Living will and will if you haven't already.
I’m only 43 so it’s not like I’m far ahead of you, but here’s what I know. You don’t have enough insurance, especially if you have a family; auto home or life. You’re not saving enough for retirement, better bump up those 401k contributions or consider an IRA. Don’t move heavy things anymore, herniated discs are more common and no joke. You aren’t seeing the doctors enough either; get your yearly and don’t skip the dentist, especially if you’re in the US. Dental care once you’re on Medicare is just not reasonable and I’m watching my retired father making some tough decisions on if he should keep his teeth or not.
Don’t move heavy things anymore
Bad advice. Actually no, horrible advice.
If you haven't started lifting heavy things before then now is the time to start. And I'm obviously talking about going to gym and I don't mean go crazy with it either but when it comes to having a strong body it's use it or lose it situation. Also yes, don't deadlift a chest freezer without warmup. Let some 20 year old do that.
For anyone who hates the gym learn decent bodyweight exercises. I can't stand weights and hate the indoor sweatbox. But I'm happy to do bodyweight exercises til the cows come home. Push ups, pull-ups, rows, squats, etc.
You can get Android apps or check online.
"Convict Conditioning" is one I've used before. It's designed for people without equipment (convicts in a cell!).
The warranty is gone. It's run out. Don't be surprised by ANYTHING that starts to act up, and if you have decent medical support, address them with your doc. Knees grinding? reading small text / focusing on street signs? get your optical script updated. And sometime in the next decade, get mentally ready to get a colonoscopy.
The warranty is gone, now it's time for you to keep an eye on all the systems and plan for the long road ahead and the hard times to come. Good luck.
I find exercise and meditation is really valuable. So much of life distracts now and this computer in my hand doesn't help.
Pay attention to ear and nose hairs. They get out of control. If you already wear glasses don't forget to put them on in the bathroom and pluck away the crazy ones. I once found a 1" long ear hair that was hiding. Still makes me shiver.
I've had to recently start checking for the hair growing from my ears when I trim my beard. Definitely a change in mentality. I not only check that but random hair paths growing on my arms or other random parts of my body.
overnight growth of eyebrow hairs of strange and seemingly impossible lengths? why not!
So, basically, if you live in the US, get ready for excessive medical bills or begin the search for a way to move to another developed country if you want to survive financially.
40 is the new 30, but 42 is the same ole 42.
Lift. Heavy. Things. And Train. Your. VO2 Max. Eat. Fibre.
And stretch! Use it or lose it applies to range of motion too.
I can still chew my toenails off at 40! Apparently that's good.
I don't think putting your feet into your mouth is good at any age.
Jealous? 😜
Good God is this ever true. I went many years without stretching and noticed a much higher probability I'd make a random muscle in my back or leg upset by doing something it wasn't ready for.
Heavy lifts are one thing.. Bending forward and back while painting a wall causing a back muscle to freak out was entirely unexpected and a wake up call for me to stretch every day. I still can't touch my toes, but I'm getting there.
I've linked this elsewhere but try this to make all those random muscles upset at once to get it over with.
"Stretching" isn't what most people think it is, it's 50% making sure that muscles can relax, and thus lengthen, by having properly strong small supporting muscles able to arrange your bones so that the big ones can do their work, the other 50% are neuronal habits, say, a hamstring stretch should never come with a backwards tilt in the hips that's the exact wrong direction, yet that's exactly what many people are doing when leaning forwards. Most people should be able to touch their toes after a week or two after having figured that one out. Or, let me rephrase: There should be at least one position in which you can do it.
Both are about biomechanics and how to respect them. About exactly 0% is about physically lengthening things by pulling on them that's not how muscles and tendons work they're not noodles. They get stroppy when you do that.
See a primary doctor and a dentist at least once a year. Drink less booze and coffee, drink more water. Stretch and exercise when ya can. Everyone here pretty much nailed it. But, also, make sure you have a hobby. Something to keep the mind healthy too. I like putting together gunpla models. It’s relaxing and keeps my brain sharp (well, sharp is a strong word, but you get it). Finally, you’re gonna go to a lot more funerals than weddings now, so reach out to people you haven’t talked to in a while just to say what’s up.
Be nice to your knees
Stretching. As someone who had sore knees a lot, stretching all the things from lower back to knees help. Im no muscle-ologist so I can’t tell you the names of these muscle groups.
And anecdotally for me, zero drop shoes along with stretching. The cheapo ones from Amazon have held together better and longer than any other ‘name brand’ and for only $20.
Do you have a stretching regimen you recommend
Look up stretches for glutes, hip flexors, quads, hamstrings, ITB (I think that’s what it is) and low back.
There are many, some a bit easier if you’re not quite flexible at the moment. Sorry I can’t be more precise- I’ve got a mental catalog of stretches that I’ve accumulated since high school track 20 years ago… and I’ve heard them called different things, or done slightly differently over the years. I’m not the best example, I tend to do them every once in a while when things get stiff and or tight
/sore. ..
"You'll miss them when they're gone."
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't
... and your back
Warm up and stretch. This is the decade where you start to lose your flexibility.
I play in a pickup soccer game once a week. Most guys are over 40. Whenever we finish a night without sole getting hurt we hail it as a full success. Lol
Last night my cat ran out of the house and i have to chase her down the street, full speed. Haven't been running for real in years.
Now it's 4am and I'm paying for it. My thighs are on fire, my entire legs hurt, my ankles cramping up, and I can't sleep. FML (fuck my legs).
Is she safe??
Yeah she's safe, she ran straight into a dead end, that's how I'm able to catch up. She's fulltime indoor cat so she doesn't quite figured out "evasive maneuver" and "fence hopping" yet (lucky me LOL).
She's surprisingly fast for a 3Kg cat, I mean she's a tiny little cat with 4 tiny little legs and she put a 90Kg grown man to shame.
I'll start hitting the gym next weekend (for real this time) 😀
I felt pretty good at 40. By the time that decade ended I was a wreck physically. I would appreciate your health if you still have it. And use it if you still have it.
44 here, and in the midst of long Covid. That shit snowballed quick.
Other than that, keep an eye on your health - eat well and move because there's a reckoning coming and it may only be a decade away (I've just been through it with friends and it's rough). Getting your body in order now is better than trying to fix it later when it's already going wrong - it's doable but it gets harder the longer you leave it.
I hate the feeling of lotion on my skin so I just never go outside
Does it want the hose again?
Were you once imprisoned in a well?
As I am so pasty my skin burns under a full moon I wear this on sunny days.
Hi there! Looks like you linked to a Lemmy community using a URL instead of its name, which doesn't work well for people on different instances. Try fixing it like this: !survivingpast40@sh.itjust.works
Nice! Maybe I should post my experiences from turning 40 onwards!
You should!
Stretch and practice meditation. I started in my 50th year, do it every day, and wish I'd started sooner.
The trick to doing it everyday is to view it as a matter of hygiene instead of exercise. I won't leave the house when starting the day without first brushing my teeth, stretching and meditating, taking a shower. It's like rinsing your mind with fresh water.
What do you mean when you say practice meditation? What is it that you do?
I mean to do it regularly. Ideally, every day, even if just for 5 minutes.
Personally, I sit in a dark room, on a one-person couch with no armrests, so I can bend my knees and open my legs butterfly-style with the soles of the feet touching. I put a firm cushion on my back to keep it straight, keep myself at a 90° angle.
Always paying attention to my breath, releasing whatever is on my mind at the moment of exhaling, while trying to not do anything (now there's a paradox), to let go and just observe, returning to the breath, returning to the breath, returning to the breath.
I started doing this for 10-15 minute sessions, worked up to 25 minutes, jumped to around a full hour, and have settled on around 45 minutes.
Sometimes, I'll do this in the backyard. There's loud traffic nearby, including trailer trucks, but there's also some beautiful birdsongs coming from the trees.
And in theory, one is supposed to be able to meditate perfectly fine even if there's a jackhammer operating by your side.
You could also focus on the breath while thinking something along the lines of: "I am calm..." while inhaling, then "...and I smile" while exhaling.
You could do this at the start, at the end, at the middle, during the whole session, not at all... there are no fixed rules, do what the moment calls for, go with the flow. Do it until you... stop. By that token, also don't do it until you start.
Build a consistent bodywork routine. Don’t bother with any high-flying goals, just stay active. A 30 minute routine done consistently every day beats hulking out in the gym two times a week by a lot.
Fokus on functional mobility and flexibility exercises and throw in some full-body strength work like pull-ups, push-ups and squats.
53m here.
Get into a work out routine. Particularly one that keeps your core strong. Back issues are just a few years away.
I am sitting here with a disk bulge between L4 and L5 and the bulge hits my sciatic nerve perfectly. My right leg has felt asleep for two years now and I've had to take gabapentin every day to keep the pain away. It's a very minor bulge and non-operable, it just in the exact wrong spot.
Don't let that happen to you.
Geez. This thread is making me feel like I should be in pain 24/7.
I just turned 47. It was around 41 when I realized my body was changing, less testosterone, less muscle mass. The new routine in 2020 of working from home was a major physical hurdle for me to deal with. All sorts of pains I never had before. Stretching, walking, sleeping, hydrating, eating better all helped with weight gain and stiffness. Pretty much what everyone else is saying here. For me though, it was (slightly) more about the work life transition than the getting older part.
What I would add to the conversation is to appreciate your memories.
As we get older and the people around us start fading away, I've found I'm spending a lot of time gathering photos and videos and collecting things that have special memories associated with them. I've been frustrated recently that we (my friends and family) do the same things year over year or even week after week and all those memories start to blur together as we get older. The exception to this is if there's kids involved because you get to see them grow up so fast.
Make fresh memories. Embrace the ones you've made. Preferably all 'good' ones.
And I really want to promote the idea of printing photos, hanging them on your walls, and getting photobooks made. My uncle (who didn't have a partner or kids) recently passed and he had all these photos hidden on his phone. He also had a bunch of printed pictures from the '70s through the '90s that I'm in the process of scanning. We have this great technology to capture awesome images at any moment but they often get forgotten immediately after they're taken. Print your pics and have photobooks made that can be physically passed around and handed down. Sure, we can share digital stuff easily today but tech changes and people loose touch. As cool as image galleries are on our phones and how the AI curates them for us, there's still something very special about holding a few dozen printed photos to look through. Like, Spotify playlists are great for what they are but holding a few CDs or records in your hands is a great thing too.
The photo advice is amazing. I pride myself on taking tons of photos and videos but they are indeed all locked away on my phone. I’m usually the one who records videos of every kids birthday but it’s still all captive on my device. I’m going to start making photo books regularly!
Whatever bit of fitness you may have - start honing it. Honestly, the massive physical slide didn't start at 40, that came later, but if I'd started working out and really paying attention to my diet at 40 maybe I wouldn't be the round ball of blubber that I am now. I say this as a guy who was fairly active and fit during most of my twenties to early thirties.
See the doctor for an annual physical if you let that slip.
eat right, including watching your carbs.
fucking exercise 3x/week.
make sure your finances are on track for retirement. If you haven’t saved, establish a 401(k) ASAP. If you got kids and you have the means, you need 529 plans.
prioritize sex while your pecker still works.
Never lie down as you may not be able to get back up again.
How do I sleep?
That’s the thing! You don’t!
Drink tons of water so you never get kidney stones cause if you do you better have a VERY high pain tolerance.
Kidney stones are second only to biliary colic for me. I've never fucking felt pain like it, and I've got a very high pain tolerance. I had an attack come on that was so bad, I passed out twice between bouts of writhing around on the floor like a worm, unable to even speak.
An emergency run to the hospital, 4 shots of fentanyl, and an ultrasound later, and it turns out my gallbladder was set to explode. Also turns out it'd been fucking rotting inside me for years, and a previous hospital stay failed to mention it in 2019 despite them knowing about it.
So FUCKING glad that's over now. Towards the end, merely drinking water would set off an attack.
kidney stones - my only experience with morphine - pretty sweet - apart from the sheer fucking agony preceding it.
Two things have been more painful than childbirth. Kidney/bladder stone and migraine. Staying hydrated helps avoid both.
Write a will. Just get it out of the way. Much easier to edit it later in life rather than create one from scratch.
Get a physical and cancer screening every year ...from now on. You cannot be too careful.
Exercise in some way, everyday. Even if it's just a walk around the block. You're not trying for washboard abs (unless you want to), you just want to keep your body as active as possible. Every little bit helps.
Quit drinking if you haven't. The cost/benefit analysis on that one probably broke a few years ago and you just hadn't noticed.
Otherwise, meh, do your own thing.
Thing that did it for me - world health organisation guidance that there is no safe dose for alcohol. Any amount has risk.
If the risk is that I'll have an upset stomach for two days like a toddler coming down from a sugar rush and my knees will also hurt for some reason, then yes, the WHO is right.
Get yourself checked for cancer.
Like......for all of them? Can they even do that?
Rectal cancer specifically can kill surprisingly young, and is pretty treatable if found early. Medicinal ass play can save your life, fellas.
If you're American and don't have health insurance, you can often find amateurs who will give you an exam for a couple of drinks.
Literally can't tell if you're joking 😐
Always remind your children that the older you get, the less that “life in prison” is a deterrent.
Lolol that sounds like shit my dad would say. He is 63 and I am 35, not sure why I typed that tho.
Don't ask for advice on social media
You'll need a nose hair trimmer. Avoid anything electric that's overpriced garbage breaking after three uses, get one of those manual rotary ones. There's also non-stabby small scissors but the rotary ones are much nicer to use.
Also if you aren't fit yet now is high time to get there. Primarily focus on mobility and with that strength in all those small muscles your (statistically presumably) fucked-up movement habits have atrophied. Start here.
This might be the best Lemmy thread I've seen so far.
Enjoy it. I'm so much more comfortable with myself in my forties than it was in, say, my twenties. I'm much happier being me.
Also - life isn't over. I've been surprised at the prevailing ageism that seems too suggest that there's no point taking up any new hobbies or learning anything because you're just too old now for there to be a point. This is nonsense. You've very likely got as many decades in front of you as behind you - maybe more.
Also: use sunscreen.
immediate asprin for heart attack. immediate amphetamine for serious head trauma.
immediate amphetamine for serious head trauma.
Always have a little bit of emergency meth on hand!
If he's American that might not happen. Doctor bills start to eat into your savings fast.
Ok right. I’m talking about how the nervous system calms down. The anxiety and mood swings of life just go down.
laughs in perimenopause
I’ll try for that again when I hit fifty aye?
They do not
They do. It's scientifically documented and also written about since the dawn of time by old men everywhere.
41 year old here, just keep working on making yourself a better person. Make the world better for the people living in it. Help the people you can especially those who need it the most.
A lot of really tough grown up shit is coming. You're going to have to make hard decisions. You kind of have to work it out as best you can.
If you've not really saved for your future do it NOOOOOW like yesterday level now. Like 2 checks from now something must be being sat back. Even if its just a tiny bit. The time to start was many years ago. Don't wait even longer.
Analyze your limitations. We all think we're Superman sometimes. We're not.
Taking care of yourself will pay off, literally if you are in the U.S. and subject to our horrible healthcare.
It's easy to lapse into a sedentary lifestyle -- don't do it. The couch is not your friend.
Our healthcare isn't horrible, it's actually quite good, if you can afford it. The problem with our system is that it fucks poor people, not that the health care itself is bad.
The point would have been better served without the the unnecessary and inaccurate slamming of America.
Hitting a round birthday gets harder every time it happens in my opinion. On the other hand I didn't mind hitting 42 too much. After all, it's the answer to life, the universe and everything. That should be something to look forward to at 40!
Holy Shit.....I've wasted half of 42...and I read that book 27 years ago.
I'm only two months in and I've never experienced this much enlightenment!
Wear sunglasses that wrap around and protect your eyes. Wear the kind that work, not just the fashionable kind.
Polarized + UV protection or GTFO.
Step up your mattress game.
get ready for your mid life crisis at 45. it's gonna be great. you're gonna be hip again for like five minutes but it's gonna be glorious and you will get laid a lot.
After that: Do some shadow work. It’s nasty, painful af and worth it. Just took a break from it now for a second.
If you are in the US, cram every penny you can in an IRA or 401k if your employer offers it. You're gonna want to retire some day.
Investing as a whole is better started earlier than later.
While true, now is still much better than later!
When putting away money for retirement, consider inflation-resistant investments. The past 3 years really fucked some of my friends who didn't heed that advice.
As a 50yo, what vare you talking about? I'm just trying to pay for food.
I’ve never even heard of those. Is that what they’re called or do you have to know specifically what to look for? Is it its own “category” I guess?
I believe they're talking about investments that share that chsracteristic. Generally Bonds and CDs would probably not be examples of good inflation resistant investments. in general, I believe index funds and I bonds are more resilient to inflation.
Better still is maintaining diverse investment types.
I'm open to corrections
I just read Outlive by Peter Attia and it has sooo much good information about extending healthspan. I like how it references studies about why things are that way - which helps me change my habits when I know the WHY.
My comments were lift heavy. Train VO2 Max. Eat fibre. Seems we have a friend in common 😁 nice one.
Know that to everything, there’s nuance. Life exists in the grey area between the black and white of extremism. It’ll help you to not take things so seriously until you know they warrant being taken seriously.
if you're not careful, turning 50 can mentally fuck you up.
There's a lot of great advice in here, so here's something a little more obscure - Get. The. Shingles. Vaccine.
Most insurance won't cover it until you're 50. Pay for it out of pocket.
I had the shingles at 40. It's a close 2nd for the most pain I've ever been in. (For comparison, 1st place goes to the time I took a training sword to the eye. It squished my eye down and smacked into the back of the socket. Nearly lost that eye.)
It's the same virus as chickenpox. A herpes variant like cold sores, once you've caught it, it's with you forever.
You'll get huge, burning blisters all along the pathway of whichever nerve the virus has taken residence on. And some nerves go to quite sensitive places indeed. The pain is akin to a hot iron pressed unceasingly to your skin. For weeks.
For me, it was the right side of my face and neck. I developed Bell's Palsy and couldn't move the right side of my face at all. Though my facial control eventually came back, I've lost some hearing in my right ear.
It's cheap at any price - Get vaccinated.
So if you’ve had chickenpox your predisposed, not immune?
Exactly. It's in you and just a matter of luck whether it flares up or not
Have as much sex as you can right NOW!! Because by the time you are 43, its all over.
43 is pretty young to be putting your dick in the grave. I think you're doing something wrong there.
Well necrophilia itself is pretty wrong
At least someone is paying attention to them
Advice on what?
It is fucking horrible. If you don't get that, you're living in a different century.
invest in health life-process practices, like find YOUR healing yogas, YOUR healing practices, etc:
habits, once formed, take little effort, but form those now.
Frawley's "Ayurvedic Healing" is the ONLY book whose ingredients-lists ( for the 3 fundamental metabolisms/doshas ) tests out, correct all the way through, & Frawley & Kozak's "Yoga For Your TYPE" book should be read by anybody considering any yoga practice, before going to consider an instructor, or buying any DVDs on it.
As for the Western Medicing gaslighting that the existence of charlatains in Ayurveda "proves that Ayurveda, itself, is charlatainism/quackery", well, they don't tolerate that same logic being applied to Western Medicine, do they?
Do the existence of Western Medicine charlatains "prove that Western Medicine, itself, is charlatainism/quackery"??
Of course they don't:
The existence of charlatains doesn't prove that the system they are faking is either fake or valid.
it's 1-sided only, and that ISN'T evidence-based medicine, that is prejudice.
Dad was a medical-researcher & doctor: I grew-up with scientism as his/my religion, & later graduated to seeing its systematic prejudices, & choosing objectivity, rejecting the scientism of medicine.
You might look at the list above and think it negative for you now. Its not at all. This is the prize for living to this age. You likely have some friend or family that died before 40. You are here to see this part of your life. Make sure you're still here to see 50, 60, 70, with as much of your body and mind as you can.
Good luck!
I tell myself every day that I'm not working out for my beach body, I'm working out for my old lady body. I just want to be able to tie my own shoes when I'm 70.
This is a great way to frame it. Thank you.
You've got more lofty goals than I do. :)
I'd just like to extend the years I'm able to go to the bathroom by myself without another human required to help me relieve myself.
They were discussing this on the radio the other day - one of the key things is being able to get out of a chair without using your hands.
I think there's a lot of value in just lying down on the floor and getting up like ten times a day. Being unable to get up after a fall is a huge problem for older people.
I'm only 31, but I'm going to do all of these things anyway.
It's advice you should probably start following as early as possible - that way you are in a better place to head off any future unpleasantness.
Still socialize and hang out. It is very helpful for your mind. Do hobbies and stuff.
Having gone through probate with my Dad’s Will, I learned that you want to do as much as possible to avoid probate altogether. Trusts and/or Quitclaim deeds or other instruments that an estate planner can setup can make the whole process alot smoother. Otherwise a Will isn’t the ironclad document you may think it is, it’s more like just a set if guidelines.
This is true wisdom right here.
This is all such sound advice, I hope all young people in this thread take it to heart!
Nice to see this instead of a meme. I came here to meme. I suck.
Just off the top of my head:
I don't have kids so no advice there.
I'm well old enough to be your daddy. Here are some things you should pay attention to.
Have a reason to get up every day you can breathe. Because if you have no reason to, you will wither and die. I've seen it happen and it ain't pretty.
Time will seem to accelerate. You will slowly start to notice that the "past" gets farther behind you quicker and the "now" flies by to become that "past" and the "future" gets here far too soon.
Like it or not, you are getting closer every day to dying rather than living no matter what you do. Make your peace with that concept because no one gets out alive.
Buy a nice suit. You will probably be going to the weddings of the children of your friends or your own children. And far more sadly, the funerals of family and friends. And at some point in time, the funerals will out number the weddings.
Start doing things for society. Get involved in your community. Help build a park or two or three, teach kids something - I spent 4 years tutoring/teaching math to kids in a small rural school during COVID. It did cost me some health, (Thanks! long COVID), but it was worth everything it cost and I would do it all over again. Those kids did more for me than I could do for them.
Physical exercise is great but don't forget to exercise the mind also. Because if you don't, you will lose cognition and the ability to think perhaps faster than your physical health - and this is my greatest fear. Cultivate hobbies that stimulate mental challenges. And a diet of video games ain't it. Go fishing, bird watching, gardening, do art. Something, anything, that challenges the mind to solve problems and be creative. I design and build metal model steam engines and 3D printed items to try and keep my mind sharp. I try to learn new skills every chance I get.
As much as it might be fun to travel the world and see new places and people, there is a whole world to explore right outside your door. Go explore it and really learn the details of it. It will surprise you with it's beauty and complexity. You don't need to be rich to explore the world.
Teach something to someone. You know things - pass it on to others. Do not let the knowledge die with you.
Learn to laugh at yourself - do not fear looking silly. It can help make people feel more comfortable with you and with themselves.
And finally, live a good life. Be kind and be there for the world when it needs you. Leave a legacy for others to remember you by - even if it was only a kind word at the right time. The memory of you is all the world will have - leave your mark on it.
Good Luck! We all need it!
Pretty good advice, except the bit about eschewing video games. Bird watching is more mentally stimulating than piloting a T28 in extreme battle conditions? You're out of your fucking element, Donny.
Idk, video games are absolutely mentally stimulating, but it's less fulfilling than a variety of activities.
Cultivating multiple disparate hobbies is good though imo. Let's you experience new problems and new people and new things. Video games are great though, in moderation like all things.
I say this after binging palworld for the last couple weeks 😃
Yeah the rest made sense but that bit. Games can be extremely challenging much more so than any other mental activity you'll end up doing.
Especially if you play a lot of different kinds. Just learning new games and figuring them out is plenty mentally challenging.
I did not say you shouldn't play video games at all. But you miss the total picture of an activity like bird watching. Bird watching involves actually getting up, getting dressed, getting you gear and camera ready, and getting out into the "real world" to do. Often with groups of other like minded people enjoying the hobby. And not sitting on your ass in a room alone for hours on end.
It's about being involved with the outside world and the physical effort interacting with other real in-person humans that matters. As a medic I was paged out at times to people who were lonely and just wanted someone - anyone - to actually be with and talk to. Sometimes they would even have a suitcase packed and ready for the trip to a hospital. Playing a video game online won't give you the same social interaction as someone actually being there with you.
And now being old myself, I understand even more just how important it is to have regular physical social interaction for good mental health. And just like sitting alone on a bench in a shopping mall, a video game lobby or team match isn't quite the same thing.
As someone who birdwatches and plays video games, I do not agree with most of what you've said here. You've oversimplified video gaming in the most small minded way (i.e. just sitting on your ass in a room), while glorifying birdwatching which I could easily simplify as just sitting on your ass on a bench.
That said, I appreciate you taking the time to reply. You needn't do so again for my benefit.
I really appreciate this post. Thank you!
40 is where your slow decline from your 20s and 30s starts to accelerate.
Be more active, but not so active you risk injury.
As a person in their low 40’s who recently became active again and keeps getting injured trying to go at it like I did 15 years ago, listen very closely to that second part folks.
Ease into it. Don’t overtrain.
stretch
Fookin' hell. Came here to say this too. Ouchie
Eat your vegetables and exercise.
If you're fat, lose weight. It's a risk factor for practically everything and you're getting old now whether you like it or not. You can at least stop causing further damage.
Read books. It helps you stay sharp. If you just can't read, do something else daily that uses your brain.
Unfortunately, there's a reason that you hardly see many fat, old people.
Does reading lemmy count as using my brain?
Maybe? Depends on the community, I guess...lol
Do whatever you can to get away. Even for just 3 day weekends. Even just camping should be inexpensive enough.
If you can afford more ... Get as far away as possible. Stop making excuses.
Smoke weed erry day
In fact, smoke 2 joints before you smoke 2 joints
Then smoke two more
epic guitar jam
best 2 comments in this thread.
Didn't see anyone suggest it, but I can't recommend it enough, spend time with your parents, and, if they're still alive, your grandparents!
This really put it into perspective for me.
If you were a late baby like me, your parents are likely getting into their 70s now. You may have 20 years with them. You may have 5. I'm lucky if get to see mine once a month because of work. That's around 60-240 times left to see them. If I spend an hour with them each time(which is a stretch), that's 10 days tops. Enjoy the time you have with them and pray you're lucky.
Also, if you have any loved ones, tell them you love them every chance you get. My wife and I have traded "I love you"s nearly every day for the past 23 years. You never know when it'll be the last time, so say it as much as you can to anyone you care about! It doesn't cost anything, and tell me it's not great to hear when someone says it to you. Spread that shit around!
Lastly, if you can afford it, travel. You don't have to travel the whole world, and it doesn't have to cost a fortune. I know people hate on them, but my wife and I book at least 1 AirBnB a year. We find a cheap place that's only a day's drive away and book it for a week. Just get outside of the safety net that is the streets and places you know.
For that matter, take any opportunity you can to make new memories. We are creatures of habit, and our brains don't like to waste. It's believed that one of the reasons our days feel like they fly by is because we're following a routine that our brain meshes with the memory of similar experiences and routines to save energy. Being in new places, experiencing new things, and making new memories may help with breaking up those moments where the day, week, month, or year are gone in a flash.
Be proactive about your health.
#1. Don't get fat.
Most physical things are use it or lose it, so don't slow down, move around, have sex, dance, lift weights and definitely do yoga but:
The one physical effect I've suffered getting older is that it takes for fucking ever to heal or recover. So don't neglect rest and recovery either. Especially with lifting, every other day may work better now.
Don't get old too soon, because then if you live a long time, you might be old for decades, wait until you are closer to the end to get old.
Most of all - enjoy! Enjoy life, now you have more experience and can feel it more. Like really look around at all the amazing things in the world. Even now. So much beauty, so much joy.
My (now deceased) grandpa could probably still show my dad a thing or two in regards to strength at the time he was alive.
Afaik he trained GSD for police duty.
My still alive grandpa though becoming old still tendes to his garden.
I'm 56F and honestly stronger than I've ever been, but slower OMG, can't run fast or jump but can stand on my hands, do pushups, all sorts of things I couldn't do when younger. Strength training is also important because strong muscles make stronger bones.
Don't let people tell you to "act your age" you still be silly and fun.
Try not to do that again; it's very bad for the space-time continuum.
Keep an eye on your health. Yearly checkups, bloodwork, etc. as well as paying attention to what you eat and how much you move.
Be thinking about retirement and what you can do/invest to prepare. What this looks like depends heavily upon the country in which you live.
Living will and will if you haven't already.
I’m only 43 so it’s not like I’m far ahead of you, but here’s what I know. You don’t have enough insurance, especially if you have a family; auto home or life. You’re not saving enough for retirement, better bump up those 401k contributions or consider an IRA. Don’t move heavy things anymore, herniated discs are more common and no joke. You aren’t seeing the doctors enough either; get your yearly and don’t skip the dentist, especially if you’re in the US. Dental care once you’re on Medicare is just not reasonable and I’m watching my retired father making some tough decisions on if he should keep his teeth or not.
Bad advice. Actually no, horrible advice.
If you haven't started lifting heavy things before then now is the time to start. And I'm obviously talking about going to gym and I don't mean go crazy with it either but when it comes to having a strong body it's use it or lose it situation. Also yes, don't deadlift a chest freezer without warmup. Let some 20 year old do that.
For anyone who hates the gym learn decent bodyweight exercises. I can't stand weights and hate the indoor sweatbox. But I'm happy to do bodyweight exercises til the cows come home. Push ups, pull-ups, rows, squats, etc.
You can get Android apps or check online.
"Convict Conditioning" is one I've used before. It's designed for people without equipment (convicts in a cell!).
The warranty is gone. It's run out. Don't be surprised by ANYTHING that starts to act up, and if you have decent medical support, address them with your doc. Knees grinding? reading small text / focusing on street signs? get your optical script updated. And sometime in the next decade, get mentally ready to get a colonoscopy.
The warranty is gone, now it's time for you to keep an eye on all the systems and plan for the long road ahead and the hard times to come. Good luck.
I find exercise and meditation is really valuable. So much of life distracts now and this computer in my hand doesn't help.
Pay attention to ear and nose hairs. They get out of control. If you already wear glasses don't forget to put them on in the bathroom and pluck away the crazy ones. I once found a 1" long ear hair that was hiding. Still makes me shiver.
I've had to recently start checking for the hair growing from my ears when I trim my beard. Definitely a change in mentality. I not only check that but random hair paths growing on my arms or other random parts of my body.
overnight growth of eyebrow hairs of strange and seemingly impossible lengths? why not!
So, basically, if you live in the US, get ready for excessive medical bills or begin the search for a way to move to another developed country if you want to survive financially.
40 is the new 30, but 42 is the same ole 42.
Lift. Heavy. Things. And Train. Your. VO2 Max. Eat. Fibre.
And stretch! Use it or lose it applies to range of motion too.
I can still chew my toenails off at 40! Apparently that's good.
GIF
😂 that gif seems prefect!
I don't think putting your feet into your mouth is good at any age.
Jealous? 😜
Good God is this ever true. I went many years without stretching and noticed a much higher probability I'd make a random muscle in my back or leg upset by doing something it wasn't ready for.
Heavy lifts are one thing.. Bending forward and back while painting a wall causing a back muscle to freak out was entirely unexpected and a wake up call for me to stretch every day. I still can't touch my toes, but I'm getting there.
I've linked this elsewhere but try this to make all those random muscles upset at once to get it over with.
"Stretching" isn't what most people think it is, it's 50% making sure that muscles can relax, and thus lengthen, by having properly strong small supporting muscles able to arrange your bones so that the big ones can do their work, the other 50% are neuronal habits, say, a hamstring stretch should never come with a backwards tilt in the hips that's the exact wrong direction, yet that's exactly what many people are doing when leaning forwards. Most people should be able to touch their toes after a week or two after having figured that one out. Or, let me rephrase: There should be at least one position in which you can do it.
Both are about biomechanics and how to respect them. About exactly 0% is about physically lengthening things by pulling on them that's not how muscles and tendons work they're not noodles. They get stroppy when you do that.
See a primary doctor and a dentist at least once a year. Drink less booze and coffee, drink more water. Stretch and exercise when ya can. Everyone here pretty much nailed it. But, also, make sure you have a hobby. Something to keep the mind healthy too. I like putting together gunpla models. It’s relaxing and keeps my brain sharp (well, sharp is a strong word, but you get it). Finally, you’re gonna go to a lot more funerals than weddings now, so reach out to people you haven’t talked to in a while just to say what’s up.
Be nice to your knees
Stretching. As someone who had sore knees a lot, stretching all the things from lower back to knees help. Im no muscle-ologist so I can’t tell you the names of these muscle groups.
And anecdotally for me, zero drop shoes along with stretching. The cheapo ones from Amazon have held together better and longer than any other ‘name brand’ and for only $20.
Do you have a stretching regimen you recommend
Look up stretches for glutes, hip flexors, quads, hamstrings, ITB (I think that’s what it is) and low back.
There are many, some a bit easier if you’re not quite flexible at the moment. Sorry I can’t be more precise- I’ve got a mental catalog of stretches that I’ve accumulated since high school track 20 years ago… and I’ve heard them called different things, or done slightly differently over the years. I’m not the best example, I tend to do them every once in a while when things get stiff and or tight /sore. ..
"You'll miss them when they're gone."
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't
... and your back
Warm up and stretch. This is the decade where you start to lose your flexibility.
I play in a pickup soccer game once a week. Most guys are over 40. Whenever we finish a night without sole getting hurt we hail it as a full success. Lol
Last night my cat ran out of the house and i have to chase her down the street, full speed. Haven't been running for real in years.
Now it's 4am and I'm paying for it. My thighs are on fire, my entire legs hurt, my ankles cramping up, and I can't sleep. FML (fuck my legs).
Is she safe??
Yeah she's safe, she ran straight into a dead end, that's how I'm able to catch up. She's fulltime indoor cat so she doesn't quite figured out "evasive maneuver" and "fence hopping" yet (lucky me LOL). She's surprisingly fast for a 3Kg cat, I mean she's a tiny little cat with 4 tiny little legs and she put a 90Kg grown man to shame. I'll start hitting the gym next weekend (for real this time) 😀
Shit, I never had it.
This thread should be its own community
EDIT: I did the thing https://sh.itjust.works/c/survivingpast40
I felt pretty good at 40. By the time that decade ended I was a wreck physically. I would appreciate your health if you still have it. And use it if you still have it.
44 here, and in the midst of long Covid. That shit snowballed quick.
Stretch every day, holy shit that makes all the difference for mobility. It takes about 5 minutes when you wake up in the morning.
Wear sunscreen
Other than that, keep an eye on your health - eat well and move because there's a reckoning coming and it may only be a decade away (I've just been through it with friends and it's rough). Getting your body in order now is better than trying to fix it later when it's already going wrong - it's doable but it gets harder the longer you leave it.
I hate the feeling of lotion on my skin so I just never go outside
Does it want the hose again?
Were you once imprisoned in a well?
As I am so pasty my skin burns under a full moon I wear this on sunny days.
https://www.coolibar.com/sun-hats/men-s-ultra-sport-hat-upf-50.html
I did the thing
https://sh.itjust.works/c/survivingpast40
Hi there! Looks like you linked to a Lemmy community using a URL instead of its name, which doesn't work well for people on different instances. Try fixing it like this: !survivingpast40@sh.itjust.works
Nice! Maybe I should post my experiences from turning 40 onwards!
You should!
Stretch and practice meditation. I started in my 50th year, do it every day, and wish I'd started sooner.
The trick to doing it everyday is to view it as a matter of hygiene instead of exercise. I won't leave the house when starting the day without first brushing my teeth, stretching and meditating, taking a shower. It's like rinsing your mind with fresh water.
What do you mean when you say practice meditation? What is it that you do?
I mean to do it regularly. Ideally, every day, even if just for 5 minutes.
Personally, I sit in a dark room, on a one-person couch with no armrests, so I can bend my knees and open my legs butterfly-style with the soles of the feet touching. I put a firm cushion on my back to keep it straight, keep myself at a 90° angle.
Always paying attention to my breath, releasing whatever is on my mind at the moment of exhaling, while trying to not do anything (now there's a paradox), to let go and just observe, returning to the breath, returning to the breath, returning to the breath.
I started doing this for 10-15 minute sessions, worked up to 25 minutes, jumped to around a full hour, and have settled on around 45 minutes.
Sometimes, I'll do this in the backyard. There's loud traffic nearby, including trailer trucks, but there's also some beautiful birdsongs coming from the trees.
And in theory, one is supposed to be able to meditate perfectly fine even if there's a jackhammer operating by your side.
You could also focus on the breath while thinking something along the lines of:
"I am calm..." while inhaling, then "...and I smile" while exhaling.
You could do this at the start, at the end, at the middle, during the whole session, not at all... there are no fixed rules, do what the moment calls for, go with the flow. Do it until you... stop. By that token, also don't do it until you start.
Build a consistent bodywork routine. Don’t bother with any high-flying goals, just stay active. A 30 minute routine done consistently every day beats hulking out in the gym two times a week by a lot. Fokus on functional mobility and flexibility exercises and throw in some full-body strength work like pull-ups, push-ups and squats.
53m here.
Get into a work out routine. Particularly one that keeps your core strong. Back issues are just a few years away.
I am sitting here with a disk bulge between L4 and L5 and the bulge hits my sciatic nerve perfectly. My right leg has felt asleep for two years now and I've had to take gabapentin every day to keep the pain away. It's a very minor bulge and non-operable, it just in the exact wrong spot.
Don't let that happen to you.
Geez. This thread is making me feel like I should be in pain 24/7.
I just turned 47. It was around 41 when I realized my body was changing, less testosterone, less muscle mass. The new routine in 2020 of working from home was a major physical hurdle for me to deal with. All sorts of pains I never had before. Stretching, walking, sleeping, hydrating, eating better all helped with weight gain and stiffness. Pretty much what everyone else is saying here. For me though, it was (slightly) more about the work life transition than the getting older part.
What I would add to the conversation is to appreciate your memories.
As we get older and the people around us start fading away, I've found I'm spending a lot of time gathering photos and videos and collecting things that have special memories associated with them. I've been frustrated recently that we (my friends and family) do the same things year over year or even week after week and all those memories start to blur together as we get older. The exception to this is if there's kids involved because you get to see them grow up so fast.
Make fresh memories. Embrace the ones you've made. Preferably all 'good' ones.
And I really want to promote the idea of printing photos, hanging them on your walls, and getting photobooks made. My uncle (who didn't have a partner or kids) recently passed and he had all these photos hidden on his phone. He also had a bunch of printed pictures from the '70s through the '90s that I'm in the process of scanning. We have this great technology to capture awesome images at any moment but they often get forgotten immediately after they're taken. Print your pics and have photobooks made that can be physically passed around and handed down. Sure, we can share digital stuff easily today but tech changes and people loose touch. As cool as image galleries are on our phones and how the AI curates them for us, there's still something very special about holding a few dozen printed photos to look through. Like, Spotify playlists are great for what they are but holding a few CDs or records in your hands is a great thing too.
The photo advice is amazing. I pride myself on taking tons of photos and videos but they are indeed all locked away on my phone. I’m usually the one who records videos of every kids birthday but it’s still all captive on my device. I’m going to start making photo books regularly!
Whatever bit of fitness you may have - start honing it. Honestly, the massive physical slide didn't start at 40, that came later, but if I'd started working out and really paying attention to my diet at 40 maybe I wouldn't be the round ball of blubber that I am now. I say this as a guy who was fairly active and fit during most of my twenties to early thirties.
Never lie down as you may not be able to get back up again.
How do I sleep?
That’s the thing! You don’t!
Drink tons of water so you never get kidney stones cause if you do you better have a VERY high pain tolerance.
Kidney stones are second only to biliary colic for me. I've never fucking felt pain like it, and I've got a very high pain tolerance. I had an attack come on that was so bad, I passed out twice between bouts of writhing around on the floor like a worm, unable to even speak.
An emergency run to the hospital, 4 shots of fentanyl, and an ultrasound later, and it turns out my gallbladder was set to explode. Also turns out it'd been fucking rotting inside me for years, and a previous hospital stay failed to mention it in 2019 despite them knowing about it.
So FUCKING glad that's over now. Towards the end, merely drinking water would set off an attack.
kidney stones - my only experience with morphine - pretty sweet - apart from the sheer fucking agony preceding it.
Two things have been more painful than childbirth. Kidney/bladder stone and migraine. Staying hydrated helps avoid both.
Quit drinking if you haven't. The cost/benefit analysis on that one probably broke a few years ago and you just hadn't noticed.
Otherwise, meh, do your own thing.
Thing that did it for me - world health organisation guidance that there is no safe dose for alcohol. Any amount has risk.
If the risk is that I'll have an upset stomach for two days like a toddler coming down from a sugar rush and my knees will also hurt for some reason, then yes, the WHO is right.
Get yourself checked for cancer.
Like......for all of them? Can they even do that?
Rectal cancer specifically can kill surprisingly young, and is pretty treatable if found early. Medicinal ass play can save your life, fellas.
If you're American and don't have health insurance, you can often find amateurs who will give you an exam for a couple of drinks.
Literally can't tell if you're joking 😐
Always remind your children that the older you get, the less that “life in prison” is a deterrent.
Lolol that sounds like shit my dad would say. He is 63 and I am 35, not sure why I typed that tho.
Don't ask for advice on social media
You'll need a nose hair trimmer. Avoid anything electric that's overpriced garbage breaking after three uses, get one of those manual rotary ones. There's also non-stabby small scissors but the rotary ones are much nicer to use.
Also if you aren't fit yet now is high time to get there. Primarily focus on mobility and with that strength in all those small muscles your (statistically presumably) fucked-up movement habits have atrophied. Start here.
This might be the best Lemmy thread I've seen so far.
Enjoy it. I'm so much more comfortable with myself in my forties than it was in, say, my twenties. I'm much happier being me.
Also - life isn't over. I've been surprised at the prevailing ageism that seems too suggest that there's no point taking up any new hobbies or learning anything because you're just too old now for there to be a point. This is nonsense. You've very likely got as many decades in front of you as behind you - maybe more.
Also: use sunscreen.
immediate asprin for heart attack. immediate amphetamine for serious head trauma.
Always have a little bit of emergency meth on hand!
seems to be low risk from a legal perspective!
https://old.reddit.com/r/LosAngeles/comments/vm2qzs/what_happens_if_you_go_to_the_hospital_for/
if u know someone who knows someone..it may be alot faster and cheaper than navigating the american healthcare system in a time sensitive situation.Enjoy your newly calm emotional state.
If he's American that might not happen. Doctor bills start to eat into your savings fast.
Ok right. I’m talking about how the nervous system calms down. The anxiety and mood swings of life just go down.
laughs in perimenopause
I’ll try for that again when I hit fifty aye?
They do not
They do. It's scientifically documented and also written about since the dawn of time by old men everywhere.
41 year old here, just keep working on making yourself a better person. Make the world better for the people living in it. Help the people you can especially those who need it the most.
A lot of really tough grown up shit is coming. You're going to have to make hard decisions. You kind of have to work it out as best you can.
If you've not really saved for your future do it NOOOOOW like yesterday level now. Like 2 checks from now something must be being sat back. Even if its just a tiny bit. The time to start was many years ago. Don't wait even longer.
Analyze your limitations. We all think we're Superman sometimes. We're not.
Taking care of yourself will pay off, literally if you are in the U.S. and subject to our horrible healthcare.
It's easy to lapse into a sedentary lifestyle -- don't do it. The couch is not your friend.
Our healthcare isn't horrible, it's actually quite good, if you can afford it. The problem with our system is that it fucks poor people, not that the health care itself is bad.
The point would have been better served without the the unnecessary and inaccurate slamming of America.
Hitting a round birthday gets harder every time it happens in my opinion. On the other hand I didn't mind hitting 42 too much. After all, it's the answer to life, the universe and everything. That should be something to look forward to at 40!
Holy Shit.....I've wasted half of 42...and I read that book 27 years ago.
I'm only two months in and I've never experienced this much enlightenment!
Wear sunglasses that wrap around and protect your eyes. Wear the kind that work, not just the fashionable kind.
Polarized + UV protection or GTFO.
Step up your mattress game.
get ready for your mid life crisis at 45. it's gonna be great. you're gonna be hip again for like five minutes but it's gonna be glorious and you will get laid a lot.
After that: Do some shadow work. It’s nasty, painful af and worth it. Just took a break from it now for a second.
If you are in the US, cram every penny you can in an IRA or 401k if your employer offers it. You're gonna want to retire some day.
Investing as a whole is better started earlier than later.
While true, now is still much better than later!
When putting away money for retirement, consider inflation-resistant investments. The past 3 years really fucked some of my friends who didn't heed that advice.
As a 50yo, what vare you talking about? I'm just trying to pay for food.
I’ve never even heard of those. Is that what they’re called or do you have to know specifically what to look for? Is it its own “category” I guess?
I believe they're talking about investments that share that chsracteristic. Generally Bonds and CDs would probably not be examples of good inflation resistant investments. in general, I believe index funds and I bonds are more resilient to inflation. Better still is maintaining diverse investment types. I'm open to corrections
I just read Outlive by Peter Attia and it has sooo much good information about extending healthspan. I like how it references studies about why things are that way - which helps me change my habits when I know the WHY.
My comments were lift heavy. Train VO2 Max. Eat fibre. Seems we have a friend in common 😁 nice one.
Know that to everything, there’s nuance. Life exists in the grey area between the black and white of extremism. It’ll help you to not take things so seriously until you know they warrant being taken seriously.
All else is sensationalist bullshit.
Visit !askmenover30@lemm.ee
Nothing at all about you has changed. You'll just notice yourself being slightly less stable as you bend over to pick things up.
If you don't already have them, get underwear with the little pouch for your balls. Life-changing.
wth. really?
That's not a thing.
Dude. Look it up! I'm wearing the Hanes version right now, and I approve.
Found a link: https://www.hanes.com/men/collections/hanes-total-support-pouch.html
if you're not careful, turning 50 can mentally fuck you up.
There's a lot of great advice in here, so here's something a little more obscure - Get. The. Shingles. Vaccine.
Most insurance won't cover it until you're 50. Pay for it out of pocket.
I had the shingles at 40. It's a close 2nd for the most pain I've ever been in. (For comparison, 1st place goes to the time I took a training sword to the eye. It squished my eye down and smacked into the back of the socket. Nearly lost that eye.)
It's the same virus as chickenpox. A herpes variant like cold sores, once you've caught it, it's with you forever.
You'll get huge, burning blisters all along the pathway of whichever nerve the virus has taken residence on. And some nerves go to quite sensitive places indeed. The pain is akin to a hot iron pressed unceasingly to your skin. For weeks.
For me, it was the right side of my face and neck. I developed Bell's Palsy and couldn't move the right side of my face at all. Though my facial control eventually came back, I've lost some hearing in my right ear.
It's cheap at any price - Get vaccinated.
So if you’ve had chickenpox your predisposed, not immune?
Exactly. It's in you and just a matter of luck whether it flares up or not
Have as much sex as you can right NOW!! Because by the time you are 43, its all over.
43 is pretty young to be putting your dick in the grave. I think you're doing something wrong there.
Well necrophilia itself is pretty wrong
At least someone is paying attention to them
Advice on what?
It is fucking horrible. If you don't get that, you're living in a different century.
invest in health life-process practices, like find YOUR healing yogas, YOUR healing practices, etc:
habits, once formed, take little effort, but form those now.
Frawley's "Ayurvedic Healing" is the ONLY book whose ingredients-lists ( for the 3 fundamental metabolisms/doshas ) tests out, correct all the way through, & Frawley & Kozak's "Yoga For Your TYPE" book should be read by anybody considering any yoga practice, before going to consider an instructor, or buying any DVDs on it.
As for the Western Medicing gaslighting that the existence of charlatains in Ayurveda "proves that Ayurveda, itself, is charlatainism/quackery", well, they don't tolerate that same logic being applied to Western Medicine, do they?
Do the existence of Western Medicine charlatains "prove that Western Medicine, itself, is charlatainism/quackery"??
Of course they don't:
The existence of charlatains doesn't prove that the system they are faking is either fake or valid.
it's 1-sided only, and that ISN'T evidence-based medicine, that is prejudice.
Dad was a medical-researcher & doctor: I grew-up with scientism as his/my religion, & later graduated to seeing its systematic prejudices, & choosing objectivity, rejecting the scientism of medicine.
Authority-based-medicine ISN'T evidence-based-medicine.
Here is an article that got turned into a chapter of a book, on exactly that:
https://www.edge.org/response-detail/25433
Always use the same logic for & against, & see the prejudices for what they are: ideology-addictions/prejudice-addictions, and don't fall for them.
Ha!
So, you get health-advice & objectivity-advice, too!
_ /\ _