I thought I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomerang, but then it came back to me.
They say it’s all in the wrist.
Yeah. They say they’ve never seen anything like it. … That’s what I said. Freak accident. Yeah. The entire thing.
He’s going into surgery so they can try and extract it. Yup. Yup. Okay I’ll call and let you know as soon as he’s out. Night babe, love you.
Was surprised I started mixing up left and right after I broke my right-hand wrist while biking.
Turns out I subconsciously associated "right" for the direction my stronger hand was on, and once my left hand started feeling like the more dominant one during recovery - my brain would automatically choose that "right" should be on my left-hand side instead, until I actively thought about which direction is which.
This gradually decreased out as my right hand recovered and got back to being the dominant one over the next few years, but was eye-opening what shortcuts my brain uses for such basic things.
Wait, are you saying you didn't have to actively think about which is right or left before? I've always had to think about it, only for a second, but it's definitely an active thought thing for me.
Really?
Yeah, definitely. I didn't know people didn't have to think about it for a second.
You're not the only one, it takes me a second or two. Sometimes I make an L shape with my hands to see which way is left. Then again, sometimes I forget my age and name haha.
I always look for my ring, then I know which hand is left.
My wife has trouble with this as well. She's also not very good with spatial reasoning, I wonder if those are linked
I am pretty alright with spatial reasoning but have a hard time with left and right. Especially in multitasking scenarios. When driving during complicated situations and in unknown environments for example. I always get my guide to point or have a look at the nav.
Do you have to herd her around the supermarket? I'm forever guiding my mrs out of the way of other shoppers. No spatial awareness bless her.
Lmao it's not that bad. Or rather, it manifests at a larger scale : she'll wonder how we came to face this way by taking that route, or how we're able to see our home from some vantage point. She isn't very agile but I wouldn't say she's dyspraxic either.
Is it ever an issue for you both ?
No it's not an issue. It's probably more a me thing than a her thing. I'm probably hyperaware of avoiding the personal space of others.
This is wild and I genuinely can't wrap my head around it.
So say, if you were blindfolded and run, if I give you command a la those rally drivers you will have a noticeable lag to my cue ? Like not instant ?
I mean, it's a split second, but yeah, I gotta think about it. I don't think there would be noticeable lag, but it's definitely a conscious thought. I just thought everyone had to have the thought go through their head, it's not just like an instinct or anything.
I guess the brain is just weird like that.
This is also news to me, I thought "doesn't know left from right" is just a figure of speech.
Now that you mention it, it's odd that some people (like myself) have to think about it. Like I wouldn't have to hardly think about what you meant if you said "up" or "down."
Think of it like telling someone the directions like "twelve o'clock" versus "six o'clock" or "three o'clock" - you probably have to take a tic (heh) to picture it.
Yeah, the BBC article I posted above also mentions that.
At first I thought it would be like if someone told me to touch my nose and I have to consider which part of my face it is, because for me my body is split in the middle the left and right feel distinctly different I can't confuse one with the other. Fascinating.
Are you ambidextrous by any chance?
I keep trying, but no, not ambidextrous
I guess I just felt that "right" is my stronger hand direction, "left" is my weaker hand one. Now, after several years of recovery I feel it almost the same way as before, so my mind makes the same shortcut instead of thinking for a second about it. But if I ever feel the balance of my stronger-weaker side tipped (e.g. right hand has fallen asleep) I guess it's thinking time again.
Funny enough, I stopped mixing up my left and right after I broke my arm roller blading (on another occasion I broke my arm while biking). I didn't have a way to mentally keep track until the doctor set the arm slightly off with the bone bowing out a bit - it feels slightly different now, but visually you can't tell.
That's really interesting. There are probably more people like you, but who will never know if nothing happens to their dominant hand.
Considering almost every one of my ancestors for the last few hundred million years managed to have sex at least once, I'd say it's pretty remarkable how I've managed to avoid it so far
Classic selection bias. I don't recall the exact numbers, but I remember reading that the majority of men who have ever lived never reproduced. That's unfortunately pretty normal.
Historically, before agriculture it was about two to three women having offspring for every man who did.
During the Agricultural era (12,000 BCE to 2,000 BCE) that ratio hit a high of 9 women reproducing for every man who did so, and stayed around that for most of that time.
From there it slowly declined back down to the current world-wide average of two women reproducing for every man who manages to do so.
Where do I fit in there? I reproduced.
Maybe in the agricultural age
They said "sex", you said "reproduced".
navigate the social landscape of a corporate office
Oooof, I hear that. Things are more political than ever at my work and it's like, I just want to do my job and go home
I can't navigate politics at all. Have done ok working at startups though, some offices are not at all political. Where I work, we can fix other people's processes if we think of a better way, we work with other departments, I don't have to go through my manager to talk to your manager to get to you, can go directly to you. Can talk to the CEO, to ex- employees, nobody is protective of their work, nobody is angling for my job.
Everyone in my office just fucking moans about everything, all the time. It's honestly exhausting. The company is actually really good and gives a ton of perks. Just do your job and go home. Stop trying to bring everyone down with your shit.
The rules are “make anyone above you feel good about themselves because they’ll throw a hissy fit if you don’t make them feel special.” It’s pathetic and I’m tired of it.
But like if I try this, if I break down and try this, I’m so bad at it that it’s insulting and threatening to them to see my transparent flattery and wheedling.
Process sugar (diabeetus)
I have no sense of direction. None.
I work in construction. If I show up to a site that is completely built, I get lost. If the floor is symmetrical in layout, I am totally screwed. It took me two full days on site once to get adjusted.
When assigned to a new site, if there are more than a few turns in a commute, I'm using the GPS to get there for a couple of weeks.
Also, I had no idea half of the people on this planet couldn't whistle.
I have no sense of direction. None.
Sounds like you are a real-life Ryoga Hibiki.
Just curious: do you also lack the ability to visualize things in your mind? For example, I am able to bring up a road map of my city in my mind, figure out the most effective route between two points, and rotate that map in all three dimensions to “look” at it from all angles. My familiarity with the city layout and geography is the determining factor on how easily I can visualize that map. I can also do the same thing with large buildings and their internal layouts.
My wife, on the other hand, has a somewhat similar (but nowhere near as bad) sense of direction as you, and a commensurate inability to visualize objects in her mind. So while she can mentally visualize a soccer ball as a spherical object, she cannot even visualize the hexagonal pattern of pieces, much less (on a traditional soccer ball) how some are white and others black. She doesn’t technically have aphantasia, as she is still able to visualize to a small degree, but I have always suspected her inability to visualize effectively was directly connected to her inability to navigate effectively. She also relies heavily on GPS and maps when navigating anywhere else other than the town she was born in.
For what it's worth, I can't visualize either, but have excellent directional sense.
So maybe it is not related, then. Or maybe only causally related, or under certain more specific visualization deficits.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Not OP but I can visualize great, still have no sense of direction.
You'll probably have your answer when I tell you that when you brought three dimensions into the map analogy, my brain kind of melted.
Sounds like you're describing my wife for real
My husband bought me a Garmin when they very first came out, not because we were flashy people, but he wanted to know I could get somewhere by myself if I needed to . You are not alone my friend
Whistle.
Tell right from left without thinking about it.
Read a map, unless it's oriented the way I am facing. My mind will not flip it.
I've never been able to ride a bike without at least one hand on the handlebars.
I remember a teacher talking about the physics of how a bike stays up while riding it with no hands. I thought he was joking
It depends on the bicycle. I can do it on some, and not on others. I think it depends on the angle of the steering fork and also the center of balance of the handlebars.
It definitely depends on the bike. I had a mountain bike with big, fat, tires, and I could never ride it without hands. I also have a road bike with super skinny tires that I can ride no handed confidently enough that I can carry grocery bags in each hand while biking no handed around town.
I'll never lead a nation with a microphone, a microphone
How is this basic?
I'm not sure what to tell you, other than that yes, you can simply take your hands off the handle bars on most bikes if you're going fast enough.
Most people in my country can do it.
Associates faces with names easily.
Like I'll remember who you are, but I won't remember your name. Got me into trouble a few times
Edit: also forgot, but this includes associating the names of places. Combined with the fact that I can'trememberr paths and situate places I see IRL on a map, I get lost often.
Prosopagnosia is the name of the cognitive disorder you likely have.
Another name to forget!
Remember people's names or faces
That's actually a cognitive disorder called Prosopagnosia.
And welcome to the club - I had a stroke and while luckily all major deficits returned to normal with timely treatment, I developed prosopagnosia.
It's fairly freaky at times. While it's not my main job anymore I still work as a paramedic occasionally - and when I get a massive trauma at three o'clock in the morning I can hand it over in the ED to the full resus team with every detail without looking into my notes once. But if they ask me for a name I need an ID card or my notes.
Thanks, I've never been diagnosed or anything but it's something I've had trouble with all my life, kind of just learned to be very wary about various social situations because I'd get it wrong a lot.
Tell a joke or story in a linear fashion. I'm always fucking up, or realizing halfway through that I've left out an important detail. It's how my mind works but I'm sure it's frustrating to others. Plus I just get flop sweat sometimes.
I just always give too much context to my stories, and quickly realise that I'm giving context for context for context and cant remember my point.
My closest friend is very similar here though, and we can have great long conversations that are 20 layers deep of tangents and forgetting our original points. We also sometimes yell 'pin' at eachother as a shorthand for 'lets put a pin in this' which basically means that at some point we're trying to remember what we wanted to say at that point because it was fun.
i have the opposite issue, i start telling a story trying to make it interesting and engaging and then feel like im running out of time before people disengage so i rush through and sum up 75% of the story in a few sentances and say "so yeah thats pretty much it".
I can only tell jokes I don't find funny myself. Normally I can't controll my laughing after the first couple of words.
I wish so bad I was better at telling stories. Not that I have many, but still
I can't whistle. Honestly I think it's because one of my lower front teeth is crooked, twisted at an angle. 🤷♂️
My parents used to tell me as a kid that I couldn't whistle because I wasn't eating my pizza crust. After I started eating the crust I learned how to whistle.
Have you tried eating crust?
With a crooked tooth? Impossible!
Me neither, and for the same reason.
I lost my ability to whistle in a tragic playground accident when my front teeth met the skull of a friend travelling in the other direction. Ever since, crooked front tooth.
ow
Remember how many days are in each month. I mean, I guess maybe I could if I tried harder, but I refuse.
EDIT: ok I'm seeing everyone's tips here, and thank you, but I gotta say... None of these heuristics seem any amount easier to remember. 😭
Whats the point? When do I need this information?
Bring on the 13x28 calender and end the madness.
YES THANK YOU!!! The only sane person right here! 😭😭😭
Make both hands into a fist and hold them out in front of you so that the knuckles are visible. Now start on a pinky and count the knuckles and valleys between them. Knuckles are 31 days, valleys are 30 (and February). When you switch between hands it doesn't count as a valley.
Left Pinky knucke: January, 31 days
Left Pinky/ring finger valley: February
Left Ring finger knuckle: march, 31
Left Ring/middle: April, 30
Left Middle: may, 31
Left Middle/index: June, 30
Left Index: July, 31
Right Index: August, 31
Right Index/middle: September, 30
Right middle: Oktober, 31
Right middle/ring: November, 30
Right ring finger knuckle: December, 31
I got halfway through that, then died of old age during a month that may or may not have 31 days.
30 days hath September, April June, and November.
All the rest have 31 except for oddball February.
I genuinely can't comprehend this statement. I've always heard it and it just sounds like random words jumbled together
Knuckles seem easier
Hath is old English for have. Those 4 months have 30 days. Once you know that February has 28, you know the rest by process of elimination.
This seems as easy to memorize as any one Shakespeare play
Use your knuckles and the space between from left to right. The higher points are longer months.
The left pinky knuckle is January, the space between pinky and ring knuckle is February, the ring knuckle is March and so on. The left index knuckle will be July and you continue with August being the right hand index knuckle. All the months that land on a knuckle are 31, while everything else is 30 (except 28 or 29 for February).
30 days hath September,
April, June, and November.
31 29 31 30 31 30 31 31 30 31 30 31
It alternates between 31 and 30. The exception being that February got shortchanged and had to give a day to August, and it keeps alternating after that.
Due to leap year magic February has to give up yet another day, so it's either 28 or 29.
I used to be unable to jump, but then I did Morris dancing. I learned how to jump normally at 27.
What happened when you tried to jump? I can't picture this.
I second the curiosity. What would it look like? Sudden crouching? Paralyzing indecision?
I'm picturing those seizure goats
Basically
I could spring from my ankles, but getting my knees involved made me mess up the timing and I got no lift.
Forgive the audio, recommend muting, but I expect it might have been similar to this video of a woman who does not know how to jump:
What in the world. Thanks, this simultaneously explains so much and so little.
Be myself.
It can take some practice, but there's no one better for the job
I apologise for my sappiness. I hope you have a good rest of your day
Just try harder at it.
You know how you increasingly fail at a thing the more you concentrate on it. Like walking or riding a bike?
Yeah... That.
What if they've got pedo tendencies and so it's good that they're not themselves. That'd be a good rom com. Some hot middle school teacher tries to get with her class but they keep dodging the sexual assault with Roblox Go or whatever.
Well you can acknowledge tendencies but still decide not to harm others.
Like my authentic self has wanted to break someone's arm before, and I honoured that by yelling at them (I'm not proud), because part of my authentic self is also avoiding violence (and staying out of prison (I really do not picture myself in prison - very inauthentic situation for me imo))
It would make for a devastatingly funny show (always on the edge of being a totally offensive disaster) to make a story that’s obviously a cute romantic story through some 1980s artistic lens, but also obviously a story of sexual assault through some 2020s artistic lens.
Could be a comedy and a commentary on how that’s changed.
Like, to somehow make a comedy about the millennia of trauma we’ve all inherited from the past. That would take a genius but it could be so funny.
Put the ball into an open net in Rocket League.
I love flakes road to... Without mechanics videos. My mechanics suck after thousands of hours playing the game but focusing on non mechanical aspects of the game really helped me. Still miss open nets though. (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻)
Nice shot
Wow !!
Snap my fingers. That or whistle.
Pic of fingers please
What are you working with?
lol
That took me longer then it should have to get that joke
That's a joke ? Seems to me they wanted to see if said fingers were appropriately formed for the study & practice of snapping
Picx of fingers please (to see if they are broke and how long are they)
What are you working with (hammer, pliers, wrench, door frame)
I'm lost. So utterly lost
Swallow pills. It takes 3-4 tries every time for the smaller ones.
I haven't had trouble swallowing pills, so I don't how helpful this is, but it's something that still made it easier for me: I used to try to swallow the pill by just pushing it with water on an initially empty throat. Once I started swallowing the water first, then letting the pill ride between gulps in the stream's momentum, it became more comfortable and automatic.
I haven't had to take one in a while but I'll probably try this or simply try without water next time.
I wish there was a way to explain this without making it sound gross, but get some saltines, chew em up, and sneak the pill into the mash in your mouth before you swallow
The funny thing is I'm sure you swallow larger pieces of food all the time with no trouble!
Probably when not paying attention. But also, sometimes I chew soup if there's rice or other small things in it :p
Difference is that you can chew the food, it’s much more natural. You can’t, or aren’t supposed to, chew the pill (especially if it’s a capsule). There is a psychological component, for sure.
The food wouldn't be in a form factor where they can turn sideways and get lodged in your throat. It's so unpleasant when that happens.
Consuming along with a water-based ice treat such as an Icy Pole, Zooper Dooper etc might help.
I can't wink. Other people make it seem so easy, the best I can do is a scrunched up face with a sliver of one eye open enough to see
Strange, can you blink at all?
Not sure if you're joking, but blinking is fine. It's blinking one at a time that's the problem
Not joking at all, apologies if that came off as rude
It did not, it's just that sarcasm/irony is common on the internet, and tone is hard to convey just from written text. I was not offended at all, but thanks for being a nice person on the internet and apologizing anyways!
Often when I try to copy other people's facial expressions, I realise I have no control over my facial muscles if I try to move just the left or right side. It's absolutely fine if I move both sides at once but I literally can't even sense the muscle to move it when I try one side, but my friends can. I can wink though, but I used to do it very unnaturally.
Not sure what you would call it but i dont mask my reactions very well. If I'm disgusted it shows on my face, if I'm angry it shows, if im happy it shows. The only thing I can do to conceal my emotion is to hold a neutral face which is interpreted as disinterest or boredom.
It's good because I don't have to try hide anything I just do what I do and go through life answering any questions people have. But it's bad when I know I shouldn't react in a way and everyone can tell my reaction. Example someone died in my workplace and everyone was looking sad but I was smiling because I didn't know the guy and we were getting half a day off work paid. Or my girlfriend was overly upset about something I thought was trivial and she said I look like I don't care and I said yes I don't care.
The amount of times I've been in a serious conversation and had someone ask me "what's funny about that" and I have to tell myself don't answer that.
Yeah i’m really bad at hiding my responses too. people take it as insult, because it’s so easy for them they’d never let that through except on purpose. But I can’t help it.
The only thing I can do to conceal my emotion is to hold a neutral face which is interpreted as disinterest or boredom.
I feel this. People can read my emotions so easily it's a problem in my life. And my neutral face doesn't help too. I'm cursed.
Cooking. I've tried learning multiple times but I still can't really make anything more complicated than boiling pasta or frying eggs or a grilled cheese. I wish I could learn but everytime someone tries to teach me I can't retain what they teach me and do it independently. I'm constantly fucking up in the kitchen which leads me to waste food, which my parents drilled into me is like the worst sin you can commit, so I stopped trying. I hated throwing things out because I'd fucked them up, especially because by that point I'd be so hungry that my failure would have an outsized effect on my emotions, and I wouldn't want to try again. So I just order food, make simple things like noodles and sandwiches, and avoid anything more complicated.
What I did so far to overcome it:
Accept that sometimes you can't make every food perfect.
Sometimes the rice is overdone or too sticky or the pasta is too salty.
Try out simple dishes and continue from there. (Potatoes + sour cream -> Baked potatoes (wedges) with rosemary in oil -> Hasselback potatoes -> etc.)
Keep track of what you liked that your parents prepared for you.
Interrogate them if it's necessary. Until they stop with the "Do as much as you like" and instead instruct you with "Put about a cup of X and about a quarter of Y by volume". If you got this you are nore prepared for the measure by eye and feel.
It's like science. It is science.
Until they stop with the "Do as much as you like" and instead instruct you with "Put about a cup of X and about a quarter of Y by volume".
My parents are the worst about this. It's all based on vibes. My dad acts like Amadeus in the kitchen, furiously experimenting and being creative. I've asked him to explain wtf he's doing and he never does. Like he'll tell me what he's literally doing, but with no explanation of why.
Edit: Particularly with cooking meat, which I never seem to do right. My parents both describe the temperature and time they choose purely in terms of vibes and I have no idea how to copy that when I go from trying to learn with them where I'm typically trying to cook for 3-4 people to trying to figure out how to cook for just myself.
Meat: get a ThermaPen instant read thermometer and cook meats to 120 for rare, 125 for med rare and 135 for medium. Pull the meat off heat 5 d before it hits you desired temp.
This book should take care of the basics: https://amzn.eu/d/16lMSZG
(If you are not in the EU area, just search for the title on your local amazon or book store)
What I read so far in it is bits of explanation of the science of taste and cooking whats happening inside the food and storytelling. This would give you an aid to be closer to what your father does being an able to experiment and deviate from a recipe.
Personally I enjoy the recipes from http://justonecookbook.com
The recipes are not very complicated and tasty. It usually is supplemented by a youtube video that shows the steps as well.
Interrogate them if it's necessary. Until they stop with the "Do as much as you like" and instead instruct you with "Put about a cup of X and about a quarter of Y by volume". If you got this you are nore prepared for the measure by eye and feel.
I get around this by asking them to make the specifics dish, gathering all the ingredients for them, then weighing everything before and after to get exact numbers.
It really is a matter of "do as much as you like", but without an intuition on how different ingredients taste and affect the dish at varying quantities, you're not going to know how much you like. So getting that starting point to experiment with is very important.
Usually my meals end up in "I feel like there is one aspect missing to tie the whole thing together".
I love cooking and I've gotten pretty good at making a lot of stuff completely from scratch. But my rice has always been awful, it seems so simple.
We got a $20 rice cooker a few months ago and its been a game changer. Perfect rice every time.
Also I just recently found out your supposed to wash rice before you eat it. Apparently its covered in a lot of heavy metals or something.
Dunno about the heavy metal stuff. I am in Germany and usually our stuff is (I hope so) relatively safe and if unsafe levels are noticee the product has to be recalled.
Usually to wash rice to get rid of the accumulated starches. Usually with short grain rice. Long grain didnt require ut the few times I did it.
Ahh I think I had it mixed up, in the states at least rice contains a lot of heavy metals so when my son was young we avoided giving him too much rice, which was difficult since basically every kid snack is rice based.
A quick google search says washing it 'could' get rid of some of those metals, but not really. Makes me feel a little better about not ever washing my rice but it does cook a lot nicer after washing which makes sense.
Cooking can be as simple or as complicated as you want it to be. Could it be that you're having problems because you're going too far into the complicated end?
If you care to share how things usually go wrong for you, maybe you'll get some useful tips in return.
Often I overcook or undercook things, use too much or too little of some ingredient, and generally have no intuition for the quantitative side of things. These aren't exactly recipes, just literal fundamental skills like cooking meat or vegetables for the right amount of time, at the right heat, with the right seasonings, etc.
So, I was in the same spot for a long time. The one thing I can suggest is to get a tiny portion of something you want to cook, for instance you want to make fried chicken at some point; in the beginning just get like 2 thighs that you aren't planning on really eating. It's literally just a test. The pressure is off for dinner that night and you get room to explore while still knowing if you have to throw it all away you are okay with it.
I used to struggle with picking seasonings too, but here's a strategy that I picked up from the internet somewhere:
Decide which basic flavor(s) you need
Pick an ingredient that will satisfy one or more of those flavors.
Here's a baseline "basic flavors" that should always land you a flavorful meal:
heat (eg peppers, wasabe)
acid (fruit, vinegar)
salt (table salt, soy sauce)
fat (butter, bacon grease)
But there's a few others that might come in handy, like:
sweet (sugar, honey, fruit, many veggies)
mint (thyme, rosemary, basil, black pepper)
bitter (grapefruit, many veggies)
savory (soy sauce, meats)
whatever flavor alliums have (onions, garlic)
Of course, figuring out which basic flavors you need is still a skill to develop, but this two-stage process helped me a lot. Plus, if you're trying to stay traditional, then the second stage where you pick the ingredient may already be chosen for you. Mexican food needs acid? Lime. Italian needs heat? Red pepper flakes. Asian needs salt? Soy sauce.
TL;DR: Don't go straight to choosing ingredients you need, instead choose a basic flavor you need then pick ingredients that will satisfy that flavor.
I totally get you, I'm the same with auto mechanics, I tried but no joy. But I do know a thing or two about cooking.
There are some things you can do to help yourself, get a list together of meats that are better with lengthy time cooking methods- for instance pork shoulder or sirloin.
Get a crock pot, slow cooker, or smoker.
Basically, you can get recipes for these which are literally the same: Season meat, add potatoes, carrots or other hearty vegetables. Set to cook and walk away- it cooks itself.
Cooking at home doesn't always mean cooking from scratch, you can absolutely grab a can of soup (cream of mushroom) and add it to boiled pasta with some canned tuna, then bake it with a little cheese over the top.
Focus on methods & repetitive dishes, then you can branch out from there.
Meats (braise, slow cooked)
Sides (potatoes, root veg, onions)
Seasonings (seasoning blends, packets, etc)
Sauces (bbq, salad dressings, soups, etc)
Don't be too hard on yourself, I am in the kitchen everyday and there is nothing better than a good sandwich for me at home. Simple, easy, not complicated flavors and filling. When we get busier the sandwiches get simpler, lol.
i cant understand distorted speech, while most people around me obviously can. i have never been able to understand anyone speaking into a loudspeaker.
I have this problem, as well. Distorted amplification, song lyrics, speech against loud background noise? Forget it. Oddly, I got a pair of Shokz bone-conducting headphones recently, and noticed that I have been understanding lyrics for the first time in songs that I've been listening to for 30+ years. (I should really listen to that song about how "Shareef don't like it; Fuck the passport, fuck the passport."
yeah, same. i dont seem to have any problem with my ears per se, it seems more like a processing/noise filtering thing in my brain that's not working at full power. i think my dad had it too.
It'll always be a mystery what Kenny says. Seriously, people understand him?
Draw a straight line. I've got an essential tremor.
Not me but my partner is 36 yrs old and can't swim.
I think it depends a lot on where and when you grew up. Afaik in China it's very much uncommon to be able to swim.
Once I saved a chinese guy from drowning, he was struggling to get back up on his pedalo, where his umbrella-carrying lady was watching us struggle in the river, him frantically gripping the side of the boat like a frog, me with my foot on his ass, pushing him with all my might. They were both obviously embarrassed, neither realizing the dude was 1mn away from exhaustion
I figure, if I hadn't done that, maybe the situation in Taiwan would be different
What's a pedalo?
Hmmmm... Pedal boat or paddle boat, says wikipedia. Sorry I did not realize this might not translate. Usually two seats, leg-powered
I just can't even right now or later. I don't care if that makes me basic.
How odd.
Sit cross-legged. I can do it for maybe 10 seconds max, but it's just so uncomfortable. Never was able to even as a kid. I think I'm just not flexible at all.
I'm 59 and I went gradually in the last 15 years from barely being able to sit cross legged to now I can't even touch my right toe (chronic groin problem) let alone sit cross legged.
Istr that there's some genetics involved in which way your legs like to bend. I've always bent easily in that direction. I can sit in full lotus easily or e.g. sit on in the floor, legs ahead with heels together and bend forward and rest my forehead on my feet. And there's many stretches that do nothing for me because I run out of motion before anything gets tight. But legs wider apart, I can almost not sit upright at all. I'm not a flexible person over all.
It's kind of hard to describe, but anyway. Took me until I was many many years old until a yoga instructor told me it kind of varies from person to person how easy some motions are.
Like criss cross applesauce or just one leg over the other?
Well I've never eaten bread while riding a bike either
Most bread is bad anyway. Subway is a whole ass franchise built off of bad bread. I'm personally very happy I'll never have to eat another stale ass too-touhh chibada at some upscale burger place ever again. Knife and fork burgers 4 lyfe.
Fall asleep.
Well, I guess it does technically eventually happen to me sometimes somehow. But not when it should.
And also waking up
Burp - I just can’t do it. Also whistle or roll my Rs
That's curious. Can you throw up though? What happens when you eat something that doesn't agree with you and there is gas build up? Do you have a colic like horses (who can't burb or throw up) do?
I have so many questions.
Lol I can throw up, but it’s super rare. Last time was when I had food poisoning about a year ago. I get nauseous sometimes but it usually passes. Just looked up horse colic and that sounds intense! Luckily it doesn’t cause me too much trouble other than bloating. I also stay away from carbonated drinks and straws to reduce the air I swallow.
I can’t burp either. Turns out my mom can’t. I wonder if it’s a genetic disability. Seriously, that may sound ridiculous but sometimes it’s really inconvenient!
Hi fellow no-burper! Everybody else in my family can burp, but maybe I just lost the recessive gene lottery? I totally agree, it’s one of those things that sounds like a small issue but really impacts my life sometimes.
Diving. Thousands blown along multiple failed exams. Still get made fun of in my family and work due to that.
Diving or driving lol?
Given his luck, hopefully one or the other not both at once tbh
Remember where I put my keys and or wallet. Def didn't put them in the bowl my wife got for me by the door specifically to put those things in.
Oh man, the bowl is there for a reason, just use it Jeff!
(I've decided your name is Jeff for reasons not even clear to myself.)
How the hell did you know my name?
It's obvious. You keep jeffing things up.
At least I'm not jacking them off. Plus nobody's afraid of a Jeffrey
Two things at once.
A great deal of studies have proven the latest conventional wisdom: multitasking is a myth.
If it takes you 5 minutes to focus on and complete task A and 10 minutes to focus on and complete task B, trying to do them both at the same time instead of completing one and then completing the other guarantees it will take you longer than 15 minutes.
It very much depends on the task. So long as the tasks don't overlap, in cognitive requirements, you're fine. E.g. you can listen to a podcast, while washing up. As soon as the requirements overlap, then your point holds. E.g. I personally can't write anything down, while listening to an audiobook. The resource requirements overlap.
It's also worth noting that different people can do the same task with different parts of the brain. E.g. accurate timekeeping. Some people do it visually, others audibly etc.
Well yes, was primarily referring to executive function. But even podcasts or really good music can start to sap our focus. If you lose focus for even just a moment, you'll probably not make up that time.
I have ADHD myself, so my EF is screwed. I actually use audio books to keep my brain from stressing while doing dull tasks.
There's two ways to really do two things at once. Either you find a way to make them one more complex thing in your mind, or you juggle your focus between them.
This is good for things like reading aloud, reading music, playing two rhythms with different limbs, dancing or other choreography etc.
I can't snap very well. Or whistle
Same!
Whistling took me literal years to get, but it's great to have. And it's just one form of whistling, some people can do it with their fingers but I can't be arsed
Keeping my systems (laptop, smartphone,...) properly maintained and functional (software-wise).
They are always just a barely functioning mess hanging on a last thread. Getting around bugs instead of finding fixes, ignoring non-critical errors, using 50 simpler tools instead of 1 more complicated one because it feels easier at first, holding off-of updates because it absolutely will break something in my stupid setup, doing something in a simpler stupider alternative way instead of doing it properly,...
Basically a software equivalent to old beaten up laptop you got for free that has broken plastic fixed with duct tape, few broken keys, half of the screen's backlight not working and charging connector holding on velcro.
This is why I’m tempted by sysadmin or devops jobs. I get to spend all day on cleanliness and basic maintenance like that.
Sounds like my old 1st gen Nintendo DS.
Broken hinge, hold together by glue and 2 threads of fishing line.
Still has battery :D
Walk more than 20 meters at a time.
How big are your legs, chief?
10 m of course. Can't you do basic math?
I guess it's a basic thing which I can't do
Allow my blood to be taken.
Funnily enough: I am a paramedic with special training in phlebotomy, worked in anaesthesia and did roughly 10.000 blood draws and iV lines in my life.
I am still having a hard time if someone else draws blood from me - I got accustomed to it due to chronic diseases that required a lot of blood being drawn.
But: I can without any problem draw my own blood. It's a bit complicated with only one arm,but I can do that.
(And if you want to put a needle anywhere else beside a vein and a intramuscular vaccination and I need full sedation)
That's how the wizards get you.
Being social
Calculate a fucking tip
For a bill of 15.73, move the decimal over once to the left. You get 1.57. (drop the 3). That's ten percent. Let's say it's 1.50.
Half of that is 75¢. Half of ten percent is five percent so now you have ten percent and five percent. Add them together to get 15%: 1.50 + 0.75 = $2.25 = 15% tip.
20% is even easier. If ten percent is 1.50, twenty percent is double that: $3.00
Also if u know what sales tax is in ur state u can double it. It's 8% I believe in Cali, so I double to 16% and then feels math it up or down
I literally can't read that.
Alternatively, pressing 0 can be quite easy.
I can calculate 0% of anything in my head quite quickly. Try me.
$73.99?
At times, I still miscount.
Initiate conversation with no pretext
Order a pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks while wearing ugg boots
Skate backwards. I am really good going forwards, carving, hockey stops, but try to go backwards and I'm an unsteady infant.
I can't turn left.
Don't worry, not being able to turn left is all right
They say 2 wrongs don't make a right, but 3 rights sure make a left
Figure out how to make sexual intercourse or masturbation physically pleasurable. Most people seem to get it naturally, but I can't crack the code.
Huh? Maybe you’re asexual or something
Oh god, I wish that were true!
My advice talk to a doctor ( not a general doctor) go to a specialist. They might be able to give you a hand .
Sorry could resist the pun.
Seriously though, a specialist might have an idea of where the disconnect is.
Maintain a basic schedule.
Brushing my teeth too close after eating. If I do it, I will throw up.
It's bad to brush your teeth after eating.
The reason for that is that when acids are in the mouth, they weaken the enamel of the tooth, which is the outer layer of the tooth,” Rolle says. Brushing immediately after consuming something acidic can damage the enamel layer of the tooth.
Did not know that. But I'm not talking immediatly, I mean I'm lucky if I could manage within an hour after eating.
I should think for a few seconds before talking about right or left directions. I sometimes make mistake when I say it without hesitation!
Me too!
Figure out when a kettle of piratoes is ready. I can cook a lot of stuff, but when boiling potatoes I always need my GF to check if they're ready.
Edit: potatoes. No fucking idea what happened with my spelling
Smart idea, piratoes are dangerous.
Math
Anything physical. Running is out of the question, I would collapse the moment I tried. I can actually climb decently, but due to susceptibility of failing, I don't. Can't swim, even if I can make it look like I can for a moment. I'm not a flying monkey so I can't fly. And the only dance I can do is the fortnite dance.
Are you disabled or just a violently opposed to running? The fact that you can dance makes me suspicious...
I was saying I can't dance, squeezing a random mention of that exception in there to be optimistic. As for running, I can certainly get around, it's just the input specifically in running that I can't do. Not that I'll ever need it in my environment.
Well congrats today is your day. You came up with an answer.
Ride a bike
Don't you all count your knuckles for that?
Auditory processing. Say a vaguely complex paragraph to me and I won't get anything out of it. It is just one of those things I have to explain to people and ask them to request things in writing. Writing is the polar opposite, I can have details stick with me for decades.
Jaysus wept, there's many I can argue:
Cannot play even one instrument
Cannot listen to tonal languages properly
Cannot ride a bike
Whistle.
Swim with any amout of grace or skill. I can slowly and sloppily splash my way around thats about it.
whistle
tell when it's about to rain by looking at the sky
I can tell when its going to rain by the feel of the air
Cook
Getting laid and stop being a virgin. And no, I don't want to pay for a pro to lie me.
Bruh, I’m a fat fuck and not only did I get laid, I married a beautiful, wonderful woman half my weight. A amazing woman who loves me for who I am and finds me sexually attractive.
Be kind, be generous, ask questions, and do basic like, grooming and bathing and whatnot. If you’re socially awkward, study the ways of the Chandler. (Not necessarily literally, but honestly you can learn a lot about being pleasant to be around and interacting with people by watching actors fake it, which you can then use to fake it until you’re more comfortable).
Sex itself isn’t the goal, becoming a well-rounded person you would like to be around is the goal. Because self-confidence is an elusive but important factor.
I’m not going to claim to be without privilege, I’ve got a damn sexy voice and I sing in a chorus, which is a great way to meet people. Which is another part of my advice, find hobbies that let you interact with other people. They don’t even need to be people you’re sexually attracted to, because time with people helps you to be better around people, and being better around people helps those people to introduce you to others.
If it’s honestly something you want, becoming the kind of person who fucks is a very attainable goal. After all, our entire species is here because lots of people achieve that goal.
But like I said, it’s important for your aim not to be getting laid, but rather genuinely getting yourself to a place where you like yourself and know others will like you, too. Journey before destination, you know? It’s really really easy to wallow and pretend it’s outside your abilities, but that’s true of anything that you have never done before. And literally everything you do is something you can get better at.
Don’t give up, don’t despair.
Who the fuck Is Chandler?
Also I'm sorry but you're basically telling me to fake myself. I cannot do that, it literally makes me sick in my stomach trying to "fit in" I have 0 desire of having another worthless hobby just to be more desirable... It doesn't feel genuine, already dropped a few of those that I HAD the will to do, imagine a hobby that I don't a give a shit about it how good that would go
Buddy, your account is 10 hours old and all you've contributed is negativity. I'm not surprised you can't get laid, your attitude is bad and you seem like an unpleasant person based off the tone of your comments.
Nobody likes someone that's perpetually angry. Buddy's advice to you basically boiled down to "be yourself and be a genuinely kind person" and you just straight up dismiss it as "faking it". If you have to fake being nice then you should get some help.
The guy suggested that practicing basic hygiene is 'faking it' and trying to 'fit in'.
I don't want to use the words 'lost cause' but I'm getting close.
Who the fuck Is Chandler?
Chandler Bing, the sarcastic “nerd” in Friends (who, like every sitcom character, is actually highly attractive of course).
Not saying you need to watch Friends (it hasn’t aged super well), but honestly sitcoms can be helpful for social training. To some extent, anyway.
Also I’m sorry but you’re basically telling me to fake myself.
No, I’m suggesting you find way to change things you don’t like about yourself, to make improvements. You’re going to feel like you’re faking it any time you try to do something you aren’t comfortable with at first, but the more you do it the more comfortable you’ll feel.
I cannot do that, it literally makes me sick in my stomach trying to "fit in"
Not telling you to try to fit in. I’m telling you to try to improve your interpersonal skills. Trying to fit in is trying to copy everyone else and be what you think they want you to be. Instead, try examine the way other people interact to learn how to be less awkward.
You won’t succeed immediately. You will make a fool of yourself. I spent decades making a fool of myself. Still do make a fool of myself. But that’s okay. The only real cost are the frustratingly intrusive memories of embarrassment. 😅 But hey, that’s how we learn.
I have 0 desire of having another worthless hobby
Who said anything about worthless hobbies? I’m confident there are things you’ve never tried that you would enjoy. If you don’t like it, find something else. Branch out. Spend time around people, that’s the important part. Not just for getting laid, but for like, longevity. Humans who have consistent social connections live longer on average.
Look, I’m not making demands of you here. I’m trying to give you advice that worked for me. If you don’t want that advice, just ignore it. But you remind me of my own attitude when I was younger, and I’m just letting you know what helped me.
I am significantly happier now than I was twenty years ago. But it’s not like I’ve reached some end point, change is the only constant. Improving myself is something I will probably never stop doing. Lately it’s been about learning to be a better partner to my wife, but it’s also still always about learning to be more comfortable outside my comfort zones. A lifelong, ongoing process. Like I said, journey before destination.
If left to my own devices, I would spend most evenings smoking weed, playing video games, and listening to podcasts or TV. Activities I love. But if that were all I did (or, rather, when that was all I did), I would (did) enjoy my life far less.
Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t easy. A line from the TV show Scrubs that has stuck with me for years goes “nothing in life worth having comes easy.” I don’t know if I entirely agree with this line, but there is absolutely some truth to it. Every day we choose between the pain of effort and the pain of regret.
Anyway, I don’t want to be annoying. I hope you find what you’re looking for in life, dude.
Just wanted to say that both of your replies are great comments, they're both useful and positive, love seeing comments like yours. They're well thought out replies!
People like you help to give me back some of my faith in humanity.
It's great that you're taking that other guy to heart.
Be kind, be generous, ask questions, and do basic like, grooming and bathing and whatnot.
He is basically telling you to be nice to others. To work on yourself to become a better person. Something we all are supposed to be doing and most of us are doing. And sometimes, when you don't feel like it, to be nice to others anyways. That's just basic human decency and interaction.
Nobody is telling you to fake yourself. But we all sometimes are feeling like behaving like an asshole, but then we don't.
Basically, work on yourself to become a person others like to be around and don't be an asshole.
No you have to be genuine
When I try to tie a knot it works maybe 12% of the time
What about Tiananmen Square…?!?
That was kinda cool for the CCP!
I wasn’t there but maybe someone here was.
Oh wait.
No.
They were all killed and then turned to mush by tanks repeatedly driving over the bodies and then hosed dune the drains.
GLORY TO THE CCP AND HOW WONDERFUL THEY ARE TO ALL THE PEOPLE.
What's with the spam lately? I dislike authoritarianism as much as the next guy but I've seen this same exact comment copy pasted across multiple posts. Am I missing something here?
I thought I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomerang, but then it came back to me.
They say it’s all in the wrist.
Yeah. They say they’ve never seen anything like it. … That’s what I said. Freak accident. Yeah. The entire thing.
He’s going into surgery so they can try and extract it. Yup. Yup. Okay I’ll call and let you know as soon as he’s out. Night babe, love you.
Was surprised I started mixing up left and right after I broke my right-hand wrist while biking.
Turns out I subconsciously associated "right" for the direction my stronger hand was on, and once my left hand started feeling like the more dominant one during recovery - my brain would automatically choose that "right" should be on my left-hand side instead, until I actively thought about which direction is which.
This gradually decreased out as my right hand recovered and got back to being the dominant one over the next few years, but was eye-opening what shortcuts my brain uses for such basic things.
Wait, are you saying you didn't have to actively think about which is right or left before? I've always had to think about it, only for a second, but it's definitely an active thought thing for me.
Really?
Yeah, definitely. I didn't know people didn't have to think about it for a second.
You're not the only one, it takes me a second or two. Sometimes I make an L shape with my hands to see which way is left. Then again, sometimes I forget my age and name haha.
I always look for my ring, then I know which hand is left.
My wife has trouble with this as well. She's also not very good with spatial reasoning, I wonder if those are linked
I am pretty alright with spatial reasoning but have a hard time with left and right. Especially in multitasking scenarios. When driving during complicated situations and in unknown environments for example. I always get my guide to point or have a look at the nav.
Do you have to herd her around the supermarket? I'm forever guiding my mrs out of the way of other shoppers. No spatial awareness bless her.
Lmao it's not that bad. Or rather, it manifests at a larger scale : she'll wonder how we came to face this way by taking that route, or how we're able to see our home from some vantage point. She isn't very agile but I wouldn't say she's dyspraxic either.
Is it ever an issue for you both ?
No it's not an issue. It's probably more a me thing than a her thing. I'm probably hyperaware of avoiding the personal space of others.
This is wild and I genuinely can't wrap my head around it.
So say, if you were blindfolded and run, if I give you command a la those rally drivers you will have a noticeable lag to my cue ? Like not instant ?
I mean, it's a split second, but yeah, I gotta think about it. I don't think there would be noticeable lag, but it's definitely a conscious thought. I just thought everyone had to have the thought go through their head, it's not just like an instinct or anything.
I guess the brain is just weird like that. This is also news to me, I thought "doesn't know left from right" is just a figure of speech.
And now I'm down into the rabbit hole.
https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20230112-why-some-people-cant-tell-left-from-right
Now that you mention it, it's odd that some people (like myself) have to think about it. Like I wouldn't have to hardly think about what you meant if you said "up" or "down."
Think of it like telling someone the directions like "twelve o'clock" versus "six o'clock" or "three o'clock" - you probably have to take a tic (heh) to picture it.
Yeah, the BBC article I posted above also mentions that.
At first I thought it would be like if someone told me to touch my nose and I have to consider which part of my face it is, because for me my body is split in the middle the left and right feel distinctly different I can't confuse one with the other. Fascinating.
Are you ambidextrous by any chance?
I keep trying, but no, not ambidextrous
I guess I just felt that "right" is my stronger hand direction, "left" is my weaker hand one. Now, after several years of recovery I feel it almost the same way as before, so my mind makes the same shortcut instead of thinking for a second about it. But if I ever feel the balance of my stronger-weaker side tipped (e.g. right hand has fallen asleep) I guess it's thinking time again.
Funny enough, I stopped mixing up my left and right after I broke my arm roller blading (on another occasion I broke my arm while biking). I didn't have a way to mentally keep track until the doctor set the arm slightly off with the bone bowing out a bit - it feels slightly different now, but visually you can't tell.
That's really interesting. There are probably more people like you, but who will never know if nothing happens to their dominant hand.
Considering almost every one of my ancestors for the last few hundred million years managed to have sex at least once, I'd say it's pretty remarkable how I've managed to avoid it so far
Relevant xkcd.
Classic selection bias. I don't recall the exact numbers, but I remember reading that the majority of men who have ever lived never reproduced. That's unfortunately pretty normal.
Historically, before agriculture it was about two to three women having offspring for every man who did.
During the Agricultural era (12,000 BCE to 2,000 BCE) that ratio hit a high of 9 women reproducing for every man who did so, and stayed around that for most of that time.
From there it slowly declined back down to the current world-wide average of two women reproducing for every man who manages to do so.
Where do I fit in there? I reproduced.
Maybe in the agricultural age
They said "sex", you said "reproduced".
navigate the social landscape of a corporate office
Oooof, I hear that. Things are more political than ever at my work and it's like, I just want to do my job and go home
I can't navigate politics at all. Have done ok working at startups though, some offices are not at all political. Where I work, we can fix other people's processes if we think of a better way, we work with other departments, I don't have to go through my manager to talk to your manager to get to you, can go directly to you. Can talk to the CEO, to ex- employees, nobody is protective of their work, nobody is angling for my job.
Everyone in my office just fucking moans about everything, all the time. It's honestly exhausting. The company is actually really good and gives a ton of perks. Just do your job and go home. Stop trying to bring everyone down with your shit.
The rules are “make anyone above you feel good about themselves because they’ll throw a hissy fit if you don’t make them feel special.” It’s pathetic and I’m tired of it.
But like if I try this, if I break down and try this, I’m so bad at it that it’s insulting and threatening to them to see my transparent flattery and wheedling.
Process sugar (diabeetus)
I have no sense of direction. None.
I work in construction. If I show up to a site that is completely built, I get lost. If the floor is symmetrical in layout, I am totally screwed. It took me two full days on site once to get adjusted.
When assigned to a new site, if there are more than a few turns in a commute, I'm using the GPS to get there for a couple of weeks.
Also, I had no idea half of the people on this planet couldn't whistle.
Sounds like you are a real-life Ryoga Hibiki.
Just curious: do you also lack the ability to visualize things in your mind? For example, I am able to bring up a road map of my city in my mind, figure out the most effective route between two points, and rotate that map in all three dimensions to “look” at it from all angles. My familiarity with the city layout and geography is the determining factor on how easily I can visualize that map. I can also do the same thing with large buildings and their internal layouts.
My wife, on the other hand, has a somewhat similar (but nowhere near as bad) sense of direction as you, and a commensurate inability to visualize objects in her mind. So while she can mentally visualize a soccer ball as a spherical object, she cannot even visualize the hexagonal pattern of pieces, much less (on a traditional soccer ball) how some are white and others black. She doesn’t technically have aphantasia, as she is still able to visualize to a small degree, but I have always suspected her inability to visualize effectively was directly connected to her inability to navigate effectively. She also relies heavily on GPS and maps when navigating anywhere else other than the town she was born in.
For what it's worth, I can't visualize either, but have excellent directional sense.
So maybe it is not related, then. Or maybe only causally related, or under certain more specific visualization deficits.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Not OP but I can visualize great, still have no sense of direction.
You'll probably have your answer when I tell you that when you brought three dimensions into the map analogy, my brain kind of melted.
Sounds like you're describing my wife for real
My husband bought me a Garmin when they very first came out, not because we were flashy people, but he wanted to know I could get somewhere by myself if I needed to . You are not alone my friend
Whistle.
Tell right from left without thinking about it.
Read a map, unless it's oriented the way I am facing. My mind will not flip it.
I've never been able to ride a bike without at least one hand on the handlebars.
I remember a teacher talking about the physics of how a bike stays up while riding it with no hands. I thought he was joking
It depends on the bicycle. I can do it on some, and not on others. I think it depends on the angle of the steering fork and also the center of balance of the handlebars.
It definitely depends on the bike. I had a mountain bike with big, fat, tires, and I could never ride it without hands. I also have a road bike with super skinny tires that I can ride no handed confidently enough that I can carry grocery bags in each hand while biking no handed around town.
I'll never lead a nation with a microphone, a microphone
How is this basic?
I'm not sure what to tell you, other than that yes, you can simply take your hands off the handle bars on most bikes if you're going fast enough.
Most people in my country can do it.
Associates faces with names easily.
Like I'll remember who you are, but I won't remember your name. Got me into trouble a few times
Edit: also forgot, but this includes associating the names of places. Combined with the fact that I can'trememberr paths and situate places I see IRL on a map, I get lost often.
Prosopagnosia is the name of the cognitive disorder you likely have.
Another name to forget!
Remember people's names or faces
That's actually a cognitive disorder called Prosopagnosia.
And welcome to the club - I had a stroke and while luckily all major deficits returned to normal with timely treatment, I developed prosopagnosia.
It's fairly freaky at times. While it's not my main job anymore I still work as a paramedic occasionally - and when I get a massive trauma at three o'clock in the morning I can hand it over in the ED to the full resus team with every detail without looking into my notes once. But if they ask me for a name I need an ID card or my notes.
Thanks, I've never been diagnosed or anything but it's something I've had trouble with all my life, kind of just learned to be very wary about various social situations because I'd get it wrong a lot.
Tell a joke or story in a linear fashion. I'm always fucking up, or realizing halfway through that I've left out an important detail. It's how my mind works but I'm sure it's frustrating to others. Plus I just get flop sweat sometimes.
I just always give too much context to my stories, and quickly realise that I'm giving context for context for context and cant remember my point.
My closest friend is very similar here though, and we can have great long conversations that are 20 layers deep of tangents and forgetting our original points. We also sometimes yell 'pin' at eachother as a shorthand for 'lets put a pin in this' which basically means that at some point we're trying to remember what we wanted to say at that point because it was fun.
i have the opposite issue, i start telling a story trying to make it interesting and engaging and then feel like im running out of time before people disengage so i rush through and sum up 75% of the story in a few sentances and say "so yeah thats pretty much it".
I can only tell jokes I don't find funny myself. Normally I can't controll my laughing after the first couple of words.
I wish so bad I was better at telling stories. Not that I have many, but still
I can't whistle. Honestly I think it's because one of my lower front teeth is crooked, twisted at an angle. 🤷♂️
My parents used to tell me as a kid that I couldn't whistle because I wasn't eating my pizza crust. After I started eating the crust I learned how to whistle.
Have you tried eating crust?
With a crooked tooth? Impossible!
Me neither, and for the same reason.
I lost my ability to whistle in a tragic playground accident when my front teeth met the skull of a friend travelling in the other direction. Ever since, crooked front tooth.
ow
Remember how many days are in each month. I mean, I guess maybe I could if I tried harder, but I refuse.
EDIT: ok I'm seeing everyone's tips here, and thank you, but I gotta say... None of these heuristics seem any amount easier to remember. 😭
Whats the point? When do I need this information?
Bring on the 13x28 calender and end the madness.
YES THANK YOU!!! The only sane person right here! 😭😭😭
Make both hands into a fist and hold them out in front of you so that the knuckles are visible. Now start on a pinky and count the knuckles and valleys between them. Knuckles are 31 days, valleys are 30 (and February). When you switch between hands it doesn't count as a valley.
Left Pinky knucke: January, 31 days
Left Pinky/ring finger valley: February
Left Ring finger knuckle: march, 31
Left Ring/middle: April, 30
Left Middle: may, 31
Left Middle/index: June, 30
Left Index: July, 31
Right Index: August, 31
Right Index/middle: September, 30
Right middle: Oktober, 31
Right middle/ring: November, 30
Right ring finger knuckle: December, 31
I got halfway through that, then died of old age during a month that may or may not have 31 days.
30 days hath September, April June, and November.
All the rest have 31 except for oddball February.
I genuinely can't comprehend this statement. I've always heard it and it just sounds like random words jumbled together
Knuckles seem easier
Hath is old English for have. Those 4 months have 30 days. Once you know that February has 28, you know the rest by process of elimination.
This seems as easy to memorize as any one Shakespeare play
Use your knuckles and the space between from left to right. The higher points are longer months.
The left pinky knuckle is January, the space between pinky and ring knuckle is February, the ring knuckle is March and so on. The left index knuckle will be July and you continue with August being the right hand index knuckle. All the months that land on a knuckle are 31, while everything else is 30 (except 28 or 29 for February).
30 days hath September,
April, June, and November.
31 29 31 30 31 30 31 31 30 31 30 31
It alternates between 31 and 30. The exception being that February got shortchanged and had to give a day to August, and it keeps alternating after that.
Due to leap year magic February has to give up yet another day, so it's either 28 or 29.
I used to be unable to jump, but then I did Morris dancing. I learned how to jump normally at 27.
What happened when you tried to jump? I can't picture this.
I second the curiosity. What would it look like? Sudden crouching? Paralyzing indecision?
I'm picturing those seizure goats
Basically
I could spring from my ankles, but getting my knees involved made me mess up the timing and I got no lift.
Forgive the audio, recommend muting, but I expect it might have been similar to this video of a woman who does not know how to jump:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1EVWeek7Kk
Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
https://www.piped.video/watch?v=k1EVWeek7Kk
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.
What in the world. Thanks, this simultaneously explains so much and so little.
Be myself.
It can take some practice, but there's no one better for the job
I apologise for my sappiness. I hope you have a good rest of your day
Just try harder at it.
You know how you increasingly fail at a thing the more you concentrate on it. Like walking or riding a bike?
Yeah... That.
What if they've got pedo tendencies and so it's good that they're not themselves. That'd be a good rom com. Some hot middle school teacher tries to get with her class but they keep dodging the sexual assault with Roblox Go or whatever.
Well you can acknowledge tendencies but still decide not to harm others.
Like my authentic self has wanted to break someone's arm before, and I honoured that by yelling at them (I'm not proud), because part of my authentic self is also avoiding violence (and staying out of prison (I really do not picture myself in prison - very inauthentic situation for me imo))
It would make for a devastatingly funny show (always on the edge of being a totally offensive disaster) to make a story that’s obviously a cute romantic story through some 1980s artistic lens, but also obviously a story of sexual assault through some 2020s artistic lens.
Could be a comedy and a commentary on how that’s changed.
Like, to somehow make a comedy about the millennia of trauma we’ve all inherited from the past. That would take a genius but it could be so funny.
Put the ball into an open net in Rocket League.
I love flakes road to... Without mechanics videos. My mechanics suck after thousands of hours playing the game but focusing on non mechanical aspects of the game really helped me. Still miss open nets though. (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻)
Nice shot
Wow !!
Snap my fingers. That or whistle.
Pic of fingers please
What are you working with?
lol
That took me longer then it should have to get that joke
That's a joke ? Seems to me they wanted to see if said fingers were appropriately formed for the study & practice of snapping
Picx of fingers please (to see if they are broke and how long are they)
What are you working with (hammer, pliers, wrench, door frame)
I'm lost. So utterly lost
Swallow pills. It takes 3-4 tries every time for the smaller ones.
I haven't had trouble swallowing pills, so I don't how helpful this is, but it's something that still made it easier for me: I used to try to swallow the pill by just pushing it with water on an initially empty throat. Once I started swallowing the water first, then letting the pill ride between gulps in the stream's momentum, it became more comfortable and automatic.
I haven't had to take one in a while but I'll probably try this or simply try without water next time.
I wish there was a way to explain this without making it sound gross, but get some saltines, chew em up, and sneak the pill into the mash in your mouth before you swallow
The funny thing is I'm sure you swallow larger pieces of food all the time with no trouble!
Probably when not paying attention. But also, sometimes I chew soup if there's rice or other small things in it :p
Difference is that you can chew the food, it’s much more natural. You can’t, or aren’t supposed to, chew the pill (especially if it’s a capsule). There is a psychological component, for sure.
The food wouldn't be in a form factor where they can turn sideways and get lodged in your throat. It's so unpleasant when that happens.
Consuming along with a water-based ice treat such as an Icy Pole, Zooper Dooper etc might help.
I can't wink. Other people make it seem so easy, the best I can do is a scrunched up face with a sliver of one eye open enough to see
Strange, can you blink at all?
Not sure if you're joking, but blinking is fine. It's blinking one at a time that's the problem
Not joking at all, apologies if that came off as rude
It did not, it's just that sarcasm/irony is common on the internet, and tone is hard to convey just from written text. I was not offended at all, but thanks for being a nice person on the internet and apologizing anyways!
Often when I try to copy other people's facial expressions, I realise I have no control over my facial muscles if I try to move just the left or right side. It's absolutely fine if I move both sides at once but I literally can't even sense the muscle to move it when I try one side, but my friends can. I can wink though, but I used to do it very unnaturally.
Not sure what you would call it but i dont mask my reactions very well. If I'm disgusted it shows on my face, if I'm angry it shows, if im happy it shows. The only thing I can do to conceal my emotion is to hold a neutral face which is interpreted as disinterest or boredom.
It's good because I don't have to try hide anything I just do what I do and go through life answering any questions people have. But it's bad when I know I shouldn't react in a way and everyone can tell my reaction. Example someone died in my workplace and everyone was looking sad but I was smiling because I didn't know the guy and we were getting half a day off work paid. Or my girlfriend was overly upset about something I thought was trivial and she said I look like I don't care and I said yes I don't care.
The amount of times I've been in a serious conversation and had someone ask me "what's funny about that" and I have to tell myself don't answer that.
Yeah i’m really bad at hiding my responses too. people take it as insult, because it’s so easy for them they’d never let that through except on purpose. But I can’t help it.
I feel this. People can read my emotions so easily it's a problem in my life. And my neutral face doesn't help too. I'm cursed.
Cooking. I've tried learning multiple times but I still can't really make anything more complicated than boiling pasta or frying eggs or a grilled cheese. I wish I could learn but everytime someone tries to teach me I can't retain what they teach me and do it independently. I'm constantly fucking up in the kitchen which leads me to waste food, which my parents drilled into me is like the worst sin you can commit, so I stopped trying. I hated throwing things out because I'd fucked them up, especially because by that point I'd be so hungry that my failure would have an outsized effect on my emotions, and I wouldn't want to try again. So I just order food, make simple things like noodles and sandwiches, and avoid anything more complicated.
What I did so far to overcome it:
Sometimes the rice is overdone or too sticky or the pasta is too salty.
Interrogate them if it's necessary. Until they stop with the "Do as much as you like" and instead instruct you with "Put about a cup of X and about a quarter of Y by volume". If you got this you are nore prepared for the measure by eye and feel.
It's like science. It is science.
My parents are the worst about this. It's all based on vibes. My dad acts like Amadeus in the kitchen, furiously experimenting and being creative. I've asked him to explain wtf he's doing and he never does. Like he'll tell me what he's literally doing, but with no explanation of why.
Edit: Particularly with cooking meat, which I never seem to do right. My parents both describe the temperature and time they choose purely in terms of vibes and I have no idea how to copy that when I go from trying to learn with them where I'm typically trying to cook for 3-4 people to trying to figure out how to cook for just myself.
Meat: get a ThermaPen instant read thermometer and cook meats to 120 for rare, 125 for med rare and 135 for medium. Pull the meat off heat 5 d before it hits you desired temp.
This book should take care of the basics: https://amzn.eu/d/16lMSZG
(If you are not in the EU area, just search for the title on your local amazon or book store)
What I read so far in it is bits of explanation of the science of taste and cooking whats happening inside the food and storytelling. This would give you an aid to be closer to what your father does being an able to experiment and deviate from a recipe.
Personally I enjoy the recipes from http://justonecookbook.com
The recipes are not very complicated and tasty. It usually is supplemented by a youtube video that shows the steps as well.
I get around this by asking them to make the specifics dish, gathering all the ingredients for them, then weighing everything before and after to get exact numbers.
It really is a matter of "do as much as you like", but without an intuition on how different ingredients taste and affect the dish at varying quantities, you're not going to know how much you like. So getting that starting point to experiment with is very important.
Usually my meals end up in "I feel like there is one aspect missing to tie the whole thing together".
I love cooking and I've gotten pretty good at making a lot of stuff completely from scratch. But my rice has always been awful, it seems so simple.
We got a $20 rice cooker a few months ago and its been a game changer. Perfect rice every time.
Also I just recently found out your supposed to wash rice before you eat it. Apparently its covered in a lot of heavy metals or something.
Dunno about the heavy metal stuff. I am in Germany and usually our stuff is (I hope so) relatively safe and if unsafe levels are noticee the product has to be recalled.
Usually to wash rice to get rid of the accumulated starches. Usually with short grain rice. Long grain didnt require ut the few times I did it.
Ahh I think I had it mixed up, in the states at least rice contains a lot of heavy metals so when my son was young we avoided giving him too much rice, which was difficult since basically every kid snack is rice based.
A quick google search says washing it 'could' get rid of some of those metals, but not really. Makes me feel a little better about not ever washing my rice but it does cook a lot nicer after washing which makes sense.
Cooking can be as simple or as complicated as you want it to be. Could it be that you're having problems because you're going too far into the complicated end?
If you care to share how things usually go wrong for you, maybe you'll get some useful tips in return.
Often I overcook or undercook things, use too much or too little of some ingredient, and generally have no intuition for the quantitative side of things. These aren't exactly recipes, just literal fundamental skills like cooking meat or vegetables for the right amount of time, at the right heat, with the right seasonings, etc.
So, I was in the same spot for a long time. The one thing I can suggest is to get a tiny portion of something you want to cook, for instance you want to make fried chicken at some point; in the beginning just get like 2 thighs that you aren't planning on really eating. It's literally just a test. The pressure is off for dinner that night and you get room to explore while still knowing if you have to throw it all away you are okay with it.
I used to struggle with picking seasonings too, but here's a strategy that I picked up from the internet somewhere:
Here's a baseline "basic flavors" that should always land you a flavorful meal:
But there's a few others that might come in handy, like:
Of course, figuring out which basic flavors you need is still a skill to develop, but this two-stage process helped me a lot. Plus, if you're trying to stay traditional, then the second stage where you pick the ingredient may already be chosen for you. Mexican food needs acid? Lime. Italian needs heat? Red pepper flakes. Asian needs salt? Soy sauce.
TL;DR: Don't go straight to choosing ingredients you need, instead choose a basic flavor you need then pick ingredients that will satisfy that flavor.
I totally get you, I'm the same with auto mechanics, I tried but no joy. But I do know a thing or two about cooking.
There are some things you can do to help yourself, get a list together of meats that are better with lengthy time cooking methods- for instance pork shoulder or sirloin.
Get a crock pot, slow cooker, or smoker.
Basically, you can get recipes for these which are literally the same: Season meat, add potatoes, carrots or other hearty vegetables. Set to cook and walk away- it cooks itself.
Cooking at home doesn't always mean cooking from scratch, you can absolutely grab a can of soup (cream of mushroom) and add it to boiled pasta with some canned tuna, then bake it with a little cheese over the top.
Focus on methods & repetitive dishes, then you can branch out from there.
Meats (braise, slow cooked)
Sides (potatoes, root veg, onions)
Seasonings (seasoning blends, packets, etc)
Sauces (bbq, salad dressings, soups, etc)
Don't be too hard on yourself, I am in the kitchen everyday and there is nothing better than a good sandwich for me at home. Simple, easy, not complicated flavors and filling. When we get busier the sandwiches get simpler, lol.
Good luck.
i cant understand distorted speech, while most people around me obviously can. i have never been able to understand anyone speaking into a loudspeaker.
I have this problem, as well. Distorted amplification, song lyrics, speech against loud background noise? Forget it. Oddly, I got a pair of Shokz bone-conducting headphones recently, and noticed that I have been understanding lyrics for the first time in songs that I've been listening to for 30+ years. (I should really listen to that song about how "Shareef don't like it; Fuck the passport, fuck the passport."
yeah, same. i dont seem to have any problem with my ears per se, it seems more like a processing/noise filtering thing in my brain that's not working at full power. i think my dad had it too.
It'll always be a mystery what Kenny says. Seriously, people understand him?
Draw a straight line. I've got an essential tremor.
Not me but my partner is 36 yrs old and can't swim.
I think it depends a lot on where and when you grew up. Afaik in China it's very much uncommon to be able to swim.
Once I saved a chinese guy from drowning, he was struggling to get back up on his pedalo, where his umbrella-carrying lady was watching us struggle in the river, him frantically gripping the side of the boat like a frog, me with my foot on his ass, pushing him with all my might. They were both obviously embarrassed, neither realizing the dude was 1mn away from exhaustion
I figure, if I hadn't done that, maybe the situation in Taiwan would be different
What's a pedalo?
Hmmmm... Pedal boat or paddle boat, says wikipedia. Sorry I did not realize this might not translate. Usually two seats, leg-powered
Whistle
https://media.tenor.com/F1rRSJX60B8AAAAM/roy-kent-whistle.gif
I just can't even right now or later. I don't care if that makes me basic.
How odd.
Sit cross-legged. I can do it for maybe 10 seconds max, but it's just so uncomfortable. Never was able to even as a kid. I think I'm just not flexible at all.
I'm 59 and I went gradually in the last 15 years from barely being able to sit cross legged to now I can't even touch my right toe (chronic groin problem) let alone sit cross legged.
Istr that there's some genetics involved in which way your legs like to bend. I've always bent easily in that direction. I can sit in full lotus easily or e.g. sit on in the floor, legs ahead with heels together and bend forward and rest my forehead on my feet. And there's many stretches that do nothing for me because I run out of motion before anything gets tight. But legs wider apart, I can almost not sit upright at all. I'm not a flexible person over all.
It's kind of hard to describe, but anyway. Took me until I was many many years old until a yoga instructor told me it kind of varies from person to person how easy some motions are.
Like criss cross applesauce or just one leg over the other?
Applesauce
Shut the fuck up
even
Last time I accidentally a Coca Cola bottle.
rip
Fold long sleeve buttoned shirts
Fold a fitted sheet!
recognize, remember, confront people. anything people.
Swim
Eat bread (celiac). And riding a bike...
Well I've never eaten bread while riding a bike either
Most bread is bad anyway. Subway is a whole ass franchise built off of bad bread. I'm personally very happy I'll never have to eat another stale ass too-touhh chibada at some upscale burger place ever again. Knife and fork burgers 4 lyfe.
Fall asleep.
Well, I guess it does technically eventually happen to me sometimes somehow. But not when it should.
And also waking up
Burp - I just can’t do it. Also whistle or roll my Rs
That's curious. Can you throw up though? What happens when you eat something that doesn't agree with you and there is gas build up? Do you have a colic like horses (who can't burb or throw up) do?
I have so many questions.
Lol I can throw up, but it’s super rare. Last time was when I had food poisoning about a year ago. I get nauseous sometimes but it usually passes. Just looked up horse colic and that sounds intense! Luckily it doesn’t cause me too much trouble other than bloating. I also stay away from carbonated drinks and straws to reduce the air I swallow.
I can’t burp either. Turns out my mom can’t. I wonder if it’s a genetic disability. Seriously, that may sound ridiculous but sometimes it’s really inconvenient!
Hi fellow no-burper! Everybody else in my family can burp, but maybe I just lost the recessive gene lottery? I totally agree, it’s one of those things that sounds like a small issue but really impacts my life sometimes.
Diving. Thousands blown along multiple failed exams. Still get made fun of in my family and work due to that.
Diving or driving lol?
Given his luck, hopefully one or the other not both at once tbh
Remember where I put my keys and or wallet. Def didn't put them in the bowl my wife got for me by the door specifically to put those things in.
Oh man, the bowl is there for a reason, just use it Jeff!
(I've decided your name is Jeff for reasons not even clear to myself.)
How the hell did you know my name?
It's obvious. You keep jeffing things up.
At least I'm not jacking them off. Plus nobody's afraid of a Jeffrey
Two things at once.
A great deal of studies have proven the latest conventional wisdom: multitasking is a myth.
If it takes you 5 minutes to focus on and complete task A and 10 minutes to focus on and complete task B, trying to do them both at the same time instead of completing one and then completing the other guarantees it will take you longer than 15 minutes.
It very much depends on the task. So long as the tasks don't overlap, in cognitive requirements, you're fine. E.g. you can listen to a podcast, while washing up. As soon as the requirements overlap, then your point holds. E.g. I personally can't write anything down, while listening to an audiobook. The resource requirements overlap.
It's also worth noting that different people can do the same task with different parts of the brain. E.g. accurate timekeeping. Some people do it visually, others audibly etc.
Well yes, was primarily referring to executive function. But even podcasts or really good music can start to sap our focus. If you lose focus for even just a moment, you'll probably not make up that time.
I have ADHD myself, so my EF is screwed. I actually use audio books to keep my brain from stressing while doing dull tasks.
There's two ways to really do two things at once. Either you find a way to make them one more complex thing in your mind, or you juggle your focus between them.
This is good for things like reading aloud, reading music, playing two rhythms with different limbs, dancing or other choreography etc.
I can't snap very well. Or whistle
Same!
Whistling took me literal years to get, but it's great to have. And it's just one form of whistling, some people can do it with their fingers but I can't be arsed
Keeping my systems (laptop, smartphone,...) properly maintained and functional (software-wise).
They are always just a barely functioning mess hanging on a last thread. Getting around bugs instead of finding fixes, ignoring non-critical errors, using 50 simpler tools instead of 1 more complicated one because it feels easier at first, holding off-of updates because it absolutely will break something in my stupid setup, doing something in a simpler stupider alternative way instead of doing it properly,...
Basically a software equivalent to old beaten up laptop you got for free that has broken plastic fixed with duct tape, few broken keys, half of the screen's backlight not working and charging connector holding on velcro.
This is why I’m tempted by sysadmin or devops jobs. I get to spend all day on cleanliness and basic maintenance like that.
Sounds like my old 1st gen Nintendo DS.
Broken hinge, hold together by glue and 2 threads of fishing line.
Still has battery :D
Walk more than 20 meters at a time.
How big are your legs, chief?
10 m of course. Can't you do basic math?
I guess it's a basic thing which I can't do
Allow my blood to be taken.
Funnily enough: I am a paramedic with special training in phlebotomy, worked in anaesthesia and did roughly 10.000 blood draws and iV lines in my life.
I am still having a hard time if someone else draws blood from me - I got accustomed to it due to chronic diseases that required a lot of blood being drawn. But: I can without any problem draw my own blood. It's a bit complicated with only one arm,but I can do that.
(And if you want to put a needle anywhere else beside a vein and a intramuscular vaccination and I need full sedation)
That's how the wizards get you.
Being social
Calculate a fucking tip
For a bill of 15.73, move the decimal over once to the left. You get 1.57. (drop the 3). That's ten percent. Let's say it's 1.50.
Half of that is 75¢. Half of ten percent is five percent so now you have ten percent and five percent. Add them together to get 15%: 1.50 + 0.75 = $2.25 = 15% tip.
20% is even easier. If ten percent is 1.50, twenty percent is double that: $3.00
Also if u know what sales tax is in ur state u can double it. It's 8% I believe in Cali, so I double to 16% and then feels math it up or down
I literally can't read that.
Alternatively, pressing 0 can be quite easy.
I can calculate 0% of anything in my head quite quickly. Try me.
$73.99?
At times, I still miscount.
Initiate conversation with no pretext
Order a pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks while wearing ugg boots
Skate backwards. I am really good going forwards, carving, hockey stops, but try to go backwards and I'm an unsteady infant.
I can't turn left.
Don't worry, not being able to turn left is all right
They say 2 wrongs don't make a right, but 3 rights sure make a left
Figure out how to make sexual intercourse or masturbation physically pleasurable. Most people seem to get it naturally, but I can't crack the code.
Huh? Maybe you’re asexual or something
Oh god, I wish that were true!
My advice talk to a doctor ( not a general doctor) go to a specialist. They might be able to give you a hand .
Sorry could resist the pun.
Seriously though, a specialist might have an idea of where the disconnect is.
Maintain a basic schedule.
Brushing my teeth too close after eating. If I do it, I will throw up.
It's bad to brush your teeth after eating.
Source: https://www.cuimc.columbia.edu/news/brushing-immediately-after-meals-you-may-want-wait
Did not know that. But I'm not talking immediatly, I mean I'm lucky if I could manage within an hour after eating.
I should think for a few seconds before talking about right or left directions. I sometimes make mistake when I say it without hesitation!
Me too!
Figure out when a kettle of piratoes is ready. I can cook a lot of stuff, but when boiling potatoes I always need my GF to check if they're ready.
Edit: potatoes. No fucking idea what happened with my spelling
Smart idea, piratoes are dangerous.
Math
Anything physical. Running is out of the question, I would collapse the moment I tried. I can actually climb decently, but due to susceptibility of failing, I don't. Can't swim, even if I can make it look like I can for a moment. I'm not a flying monkey so I can't fly. And the only dance I can do is the fortnite dance.
Are you disabled or just a violently opposed to running? The fact that you can dance makes me suspicious...
I was saying I can't dance, squeezing a random mention of that exception in there to be optimistic. As for running, I can certainly get around, it's just the input specifically in running that I can't do. Not that I'll ever need it in my environment.
Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
that exception
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.
Thanks, Pipey.
I can't even think of an answer to this question.
Well congrats today is your day. You came up with an answer.
Ride a bike
Don't you all count your knuckles for that?
Auditory processing. Say a vaguely complex paragraph to me and I won't get anything out of it. It is just one of those things I have to explain to people and ask them to request things in writing. Writing is the polar opposite, I can have details stick with me for decades.
Jaysus wept, there's many I can argue:
Cannot play even one instrument
Cannot listen to tonal languages properly
Cannot ride a bike
Whistle.
Swim with any amout of grace or skill. I can slowly and sloppily splash my way around thats about it.
whistle
tell when it's about to rain by looking at the sky
I can tell when its going to rain by the feel of the air
Cook
Getting laid and stop being a virgin. And no, I don't want to pay for a pro to lie me.
Bruh, I’m a fat fuck and not only did I get laid, I married a beautiful, wonderful woman half my weight. A amazing woman who loves me for who I am and finds me sexually attractive.
Be kind, be generous, ask questions, and do basic like, grooming and bathing and whatnot. If you’re socially awkward, study the ways of the Chandler. (Not necessarily literally, but honestly you can learn a lot about being pleasant to be around and interacting with people by watching actors fake it, which you can then use to fake it until you’re more comfortable).
Sex itself isn’t the goal, becoming a well-rounded person you would like to be around is the goal. Because self-confidence is an elusive but important factor.
I’m not going to claim to be without privilege, I’ve got a damn sexy voice and I sing in a chorus, which is a great way to meet people. Which is another part of my advice, find hobbies that let you interact with other people. They don’t even need to be people you’re sexually attracted to, because time with people helps you to be better around people, and being better around people helps those people to introduce you to others.
If it’s honestly something you want, becoming the kind of person who fucks is a very attainable goal. After all, our entire species is here because lots of people achieve that goal.
But like I said, it’s important for your aim not to be getting laid, but rather genuinely getting yourself to a place where you like yourself and know others will like you, too. Journey before destination, you know? It’s really really easy to wallow and pretend it’s outside your abilities, but that’s true of anything that you have never done before. And literally everything you do is something you can get better at.
Don’t give up, don’t despair.
Who the fuck Is Chandler?
Also I'm sorry but you're basically telling me to fake myself. I cannot do that, it literally makes me sick in my stomach trying to "fit in" I have 0 desire of having another worthless hobby just to be more desirable... It doesn't feel genuine, already dropped a few of those that I HAD the will to do, imagine a hobby that I don't a give a shit about it how good that would go
Buddy, your account is 10 hours old and all you've contributed is negativity. I'm not surprised you can't get laid, your attitude is bad and you seem like an unpleasant person based off the tone of your comments.
Nobody likes someone that's perpetually angry. Buddy's advice to you basically boiled down to "be yourself and be a genuinely kind person" and you just straight up dismiss it as "faking it". If you have to fake being nice then you should get some help.
The guy suggested that practicing basic hygiene is 'faking it' and trying to 'fit in'.
I don't want to use the words 'lost cause' but I'm getting close.
Chandler Bing, the sarcastic “nerd” in Friends (who, like every sitcom character, is actually highly attractive of course).
Not saying you need to watch Friends (it hasn’t aged super well), but honestly sitcoms can be helpful for social training. To some extent, anyway.
No, I’m suggesting you find way to change things you don’t like about yourself, to make improvements. You’re going to feel like you’re faking it any time you try to do something you aren’t comfortable with at first, but the more you do it the more comfortable you’ll feel.
Not telling you to try to fit in. I’m telling you to try to improve your interpersonal skills. Trying to fit in is trying to copy everyone else and be what you think they want you to be. Instead, try examine the way other people interact to learn how to be less awkward.
You won’t succeed immediately. You will make a fool of yourself. I spent decades making a fool of myself. Still do make a fool of myself. But that’s okay. The only real cost are the frustratingly intrusive memories of embarrassment. 😅 But hey, that’s how we learn.
Who said anything about worthless hobbies? I’m confident there are things you’ve never tried that you would enjoy. If you don’t like it, find something else. Branch out. Spend time around people, that’s the important part. Not just for getting laid, but for like, longevity. Humans who have consistent social connections live longer on average.
Look, I’m not making demands of you here. I’m trying to give you advice that worked for me. If you don’t want that advice, just ignore it. But you remind me of my own attitude when I was younger, and I’m just letting you know what helped me.
I am significantly happier now than I was twenty years ago. But it’s not like I’ve reached some end point, change is the only constant. Improving myself is something I will probably never stop doing. Lately it’s been about learning to be a better partner to my wife, but it’s also still always about learning to be more comfortable outside my comfort zones. A lifelong, ongoing process. Like I said, journey before destination.
If left to my own devices, I would spend most evenings smoking weed, playing video games, and listening to podcasts or TV. Activities I love. But if that were all I did (or, rather, when that was all I did), I would (did) enjoy my life far less.
Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t easy. A line from the TV show Scrubs that has stuck with me for years goes “nothing in life worth having comes easy.” I don’t know if I entirely agree with this line, but there is absolutely some truth to it. Every day we choose between the pain of effort and the pain of regret.
Anyway, I don’t want to be annoying. I hope you find what you’re looking for in life, dude.
Just wanted to say that both of your replies are great comments, they're both useful and positive, love seeing comments like yours. They're well thought out replies!
People like you help to give me back some of my faith in humanity.
It's great that you're taking that other guy to heart.
He is basically telling you to be nice to others. To work on yourself to become a better person. Something we all are supposed to be doing and most of us are doing. And sometimes, when you don't feel like it, to be nice to others anyways. That's just basic human decency and interaction.
Nobody is telling you to fake yourself. But we all sometimes are feeling like behaving like an asshole, but then we don't.
Basically, work on yourself to become a person others like to be around and don't be an asshole.
No you have to be genuine
When I try to tie a knot it works maybe 12% of the time
What about Tiananmen Square…?!? That was kinda cool for the CCP!
I wasn’t there but maybe someone here was.
Oh wait.
No.
They were all killed and then turned to mush by tanks repeatedly driving over the bodies and then hosed dune the drains.
GLORY TO THE CCP AND HOW WONDERFUL THEY ARE TO ALL THE PEOPLE.
What's with the spam lately? I dislike authoritarianism as much as the next guy but I've seen this same exact comment copy pasted across multiple posts. Am I missing something here?