Now that DuckDuckGo is out. Give me your search prompts and I'll answer them as best I can. That includes images (based on what I have saved on my PC). So what is it you wish to know or see?

Fat Tony@lemmy.world to Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world – 772 points –

Edit: Due to popular demand FatTony Search servers are down for the time being. but has gone open source just in time (Yes that's how it works 😡) . You may now get responses from other users. Servers will be back up some time later.

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Walmart near me

Still more accurate than bing maps

I gotta say, Google Maps has been getting squirrelly on me lately tho.

Most recently, I was out fishing and wanted to get directions to the other side of the lake and a parking area over there.

The road directions had me driving a little ways up the shore, then down a fucking footpath to the water, then swimming across the fucking lake, then getting on another road and driving to the parking area.

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I’m traveling to their homeland this weekend, I believe there’s a Walmart museum and everything. To be clear I’m not going there for Walmart

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Mark Zuckerberg now a backstreet boy

I don't know who the backstreet boys are but here you go:

You fucking what

Oh god

Oh fuck I’m so old

Mmmmm bop

I am firmly within the demographic that should have heard that song (37) and I have yet to hear it in its entirety. I have only ever heard that refrain, ever.

I’m actively familiar with it, but managed to avoid it.

Lucky. My older sister put it on repeat. I still hear the radio announcer cut in at the end because she taped it off a Top 10 show or something.

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how to exit vim?!

I am out of the loop, what happened to duckduckgo?

DuckDuckGo has changed its policy to DuckDuckStop. So now no one can use it anymore.

(I dunno DuckDuckGo is not working anymore. I think it has something to do with Microsofts servers)

DuckDuckGo has changed its policy to DuckDuckStop.

I laughed at that more than I should have.

Do kids still say music slaps 2024

There's a neat trick I learned. As soon as you hear the word and figure out it's usage, the kids will move on to a different word/phrase.

On God. No cap. This shit bussin' and shut up before I yeet you off the roof.

That's so skibbity dude, you have like level 100 Rizz, your slang is so Aura fr fr. At least I'm so fanom taxxed my looksmaxxing is so much more Ohio. (Help me I am held in a basement against my will)

This has actually confused me. I get a couple references then I get lost.

Now you're in an Ohio basement against your will? Maybe I should end all my statements referencing random states and kidnapping. I'm just saying what the culture feels.

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How to remove micro plastics from testicles?

This is not possible :(

How we removed testicles from micro plastics?

Sure, she got some work done but plastics is a bit far. However, I don't think any sane person would call your mom "micro". Anyway, she's definitely down for some dogs in a bathtub and prefers to keep them that way.

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I'm telling my kids this is ChatGPT

Im sorry as a small thunker human person i cannot accept this prompt As my current condition is "Smooth brain"

I'm sorry, as a random human I don't have anything I can answer with, since this isn't really a question.

How is babby form???

they need to do way instain mother who kill their babbys. Because these babby cant frigth back?

corn

edit: seriously my dudes wtf is corn I have a job interview at a farm in five minutes

corn.com 🌽 is for sale and I tried putting in an inquiry a while back but stupid GoDaddy never reached back out to me so I guess we'll never know 😞

Also my dreams of being colonel@corn.com have been dashed.

I remember back in junior high we had to make a fake company and product and advertise it in print form for some class.

This was the height of iMac and iPod so my group basically made Apple but for corn instead and it was awesome how many corn related product names and references we were able to work in . Even had a cool minimalist ear of corn logo and our iCorn computer even had an ear of corn shaped tower lol

Corn is a word for the predominant food crop, even before the creation of maize which is what americans call corn today.

what are the new shapes

Youzoid™

— wherever you go, whatever you do, you create this one and only shape that has never existed in any time and space. Science is baffled by those shapes, as they are constantly popping into existence everywhere.

Theoretically they can be morphing from Anteyouzoids™ and even into Postyouzoids™ — those require further research.

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Hot singles in my area.

I think the best billboard I've seen is in South Florida where it has a picture of a sexy woman and it says "Your wife is hot" in big letters. When you get closer, you see it's an ad for an AC servicing/repair company.

Why does my stomach hurt after eating french toast?

In France everyone has a stomach ague. To make French toast as authentic as possible they put a drop of cyanide in every slice.

orgy etiquette host or group cleans up

Many handies make lots of fluids. But many hands make light work.

Field tested solutions are highly recommended. Use well defined and structured sorting system, consider color coded bracelets and / or separated thematic areas.

Do flip flops cause flat feet?

Flip flops frequently facilitate flat feet? False.

Feet favour functional footwear. Flip flops function from flopping. Functionality fail!

Alliterate all auspicious actions at all available activities always and ad astra, amigo.

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exclamation points but for quiet

¡¡¡

It's true. In Spanish we start all our exclamations with a whisper and raise our voice towards the end of the sentence for effect. We formally learn this from the telenovelas.

I can’t wait for AI to unironically use this as a fact in the future. I’ll be looking for it.

tar extract gz

How to remove my cat from neighbors house, doors are locked, he’s eating their turkey and shredding their leather sofa, they’re right down the street, how did he even get in there?, legal liability cat destroyed neighbors house

He went through the cat dimension, duh.

You just have to wait for him to come back. Cats don't listen to anyone.

He's living his best life and fuck you for wanting to ruin that.

This answer generated by a dude who likes cats and not an LLM.

Do you have any kerosene? Lighter?

How much do you love the cat?

how do i shot web?

To properly shoot web at anything, follow these simple steps:

  1. Aim your shooting adapted limb, abdomen, perforation, cavity, crevice or device,
  2. Find the sweet spot between accuracy and precision. Eye squint is optional for dramatic effect or — in some cases — even increased accuracy,
  3. Shoot

Possible outcomes:

  1. Preferable, you have hit your target. If you possess one of those flamboyant or more cocky styles, this is the perfect opportunity to use your well-prepared one-liner, punchline, slogan or motto. If you are on more villainous side of the spectrum, now is the time for your very intricate and extensive power monologue that is unavoidably the groundwork for your upcoming defeat or demise,
  2. Unfavorable, you have missed your target. Use your mixed Chill and Charisma perks to redirect the build-up of residual tension, sourness and shame onto other subjects. Great resource on how to handle those situations is the bestseller “You were not born a loser, or how to invite success into your life with unfairly dealt hands, or how I started blasting” by Danny DeVito

Given that the speed of light is the upper limit for changes to propagate through the universe; if you had a four light-year long indestructible rod and you move one end of the rod how long until the other end moves?

Somewhat related: let's say you're moving at 80% the speed of light away from earth. Then you turn on a flashlight and point it away from earth.

  • How fast is the light emitted moving relative to you?
  • How fast is it moving relative to earth?

c

OK, so after 1 hour:

  • How much further away are you from earth?
  • How much further away from you is the light?
  • How much further away from earth is the light?

It depends. The light is definitely moving at c, no matter who checks and from everyone's perspective, but as a consequence of that the answers to those other questions change depending on how you measure. The coordinate system (technically the "reference frame") you choose changes the answer. Even more, time isn't the same for each frame, so you even have to specify for whom it has been 1 hour.

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May I ask why DDG is out? I feel out of the loop right now

open source is the only way forward for anything. capitalism has created hell

How to make resume look good

Can I grab this one?

I have created quite a few for people and my designs were successful at landing well with employers.

Firstly, most of the time luck is a deciding factor and there is no brute forcing through it, so stay strong and keep searching. There can be a lot of mind games around the recruitation process.

It is easier to explain how to improve a resume based on any input as a base, but it is good to have two versions, one lighter and the other one more strict / professional.

When people were spreading wide nets during the job hunting, that was a minimum — you should present a vibe that at least kinda matches the position. Good to have a printed versions and digital, PDF file is a solid choice.

For some positions, where you are any type of a representative, taking care of customers is one of your main tasks — consider a resume with a picture.

It should not be a factor but obviously, it is. And please don’t have a “zombie” or any “gangsta” face. Terrible picture is worse than no picture.

Another baseline is one page only. If you have a valuable list of actual experiences for more than one page you really don’t need to write a resume most of the time and even if you do, there is a way to compress the education or work history sections to provide a full picture and add some detail for the last or two most recent positions.

Yes, one page, really.

Two most important aspects to really pour your time and efforts into:

  1. Proofreading. Check it 20 times, seriously. I saw so many resumes thrown into the bin just because there were two spelling errors in two words in the first line of text. Check it one more time, check if your email and phone number are valid and don’t use silly email addresses (in 99% of the cases). Give it to a partner, friend, parent, sibling — ask them to check if anything is or feels wrong. If you are — for any reason — making your resume in language you don’t know, use a professional help, don’t use automatic translators etc.
  2. Design. Whether it is good margins, readable lists, using font sizes to guide the eye of the reader, sure it is not about using every option in your text editor, don’t go crazy with fonts — styles and amount, if you know what are you doing, one is the perfect amount and two is actual maximum. Well constructed page can attract recruiters or employers and makes your resume stand out or hold the focus for those crucial five minutes.

Don’t use any “crazy” paper, especially with glitter or colored, paper weight can help tho, you don’t want a flimsy napkin or so stiff paper that you could kill with it.

If you are making copies, check if they are good and readable. Please, don’t let it get bent, wet or stained. Have a folder or something to protect it during the transport.

They will often treat it like shit or write on it but deliver it in a neat condition.

If your country requires for legal reasons any clauses to be present — check the official, most recent guidelines.

I hope this will anyhow help you achieve your goals or at least, get you started.

Pictures are actually a bad idea in many places. Many companies just throw out resumes with pictures because they can easily introduce bias against people who don't look "good", whatever that means in the local area.

HR is the first department to see the resumes and they will avoid lawsuits at all costs.

WHY DOES HULU KEEP CRASHING

Cause they're trying to roll it into Disney÷ and push you over there.

Yep, Hulu and Disney already "work together" (loosely speaking), I'm not sure if Disney outright bought them, or they just merged. I used to work for Disney+ until the fuckers laid me off last year after 5 years.

Hulu was jointly owned by Disney/ABC, Comcast/NBC, Fox, and Warner Bros. Disney bought Fox, becoming the majority stake holder. Comcast and Warner threw in the towel and sold their shares to Disney.

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Is squirt pee

This is Be Kind Rewind for Internet searches. Love it

How much acid would I need to melt a 250 pound pig

Quite a lot. Rough numbers, about 250 pounds of pure acid. Double it, to be safe. Don't get all pissy you science nerds, I have a chem degree and this is totally how it works.

Make sure to use the right type for the container it's in

this ceramic bathtub ought to do the job perfectly fine

1 unit of acid, a unit of acid being defined as the amount of acid needed to melt a 250 pound pig.

why is duckduckgo out?

It's not. This is yesterday's news. DDG is back up now.

One thing that annoys me about Lemmy is that it keeps stories on the front page for way too long. They should be gone after about 14-16 hours IMO. Until this is fixed, in the meantime I've been changing my post sort from Active, to Top Posts in the Past 12 Hours.

They should be gone after about 14-16 hours IMO.

That’s an issue with content creation, not with Lemmy. Reddit is able to constantly refresh the front page because they have access to a large user base. With that large user base comes a never ending stream of content. Lemmy is nowhere near as large, so old posts are able to linger as they’re not getting displaced by new posts.

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It was out yesterday because Bing had problems. So all search engines based on Bing were down.

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How to pancake

Ermm I you put like an egg, a cup of milk, some butter and pancake powder stuff in a bowl. You mix that for a bit. Than you put a spoonful of olive oil in a pan, you turn on the heat and pour the bowl in then pan, You bake it for while until you can flip it over. It's been a while though but I'm sure the average cook can make something with this 👍

Where to find midget porn

hireamidget.com/streaming/

(Their servers are out too)

I tried asking Jesus, but he told me to google that shit.

OMG I was really hoping someone would get the reference and you did!

Where can I find UX/UI design jobs/work in the Caucasus?

gooned out popperbate edge session definition

Well that's not very wholesome, I thought it was a sex & drugs thing from the context. I'm disappointed in Grant O'Brien.

How to center a div

You can center the text in a div with text-align: center

<div>
justify-content: center;
align-items: center;
</div>

Pretty sure that's wrong. Did you put cash styling in the attributes?

<div></div>

This would be my answer, from the cache in my head I'm not sure if it's style or styles.

What is this pimple on my toe, and why does it have eyes? I think it barks too

Your toe is making a reference to the movie Basket Case.

Will FatTony also replace Google?

Did you mean “When did FatTony replaced Google” or do you wish to show the results for “Will FatTony also replace Google?”

Showing one result:

  • Around 15:00 UTC, Thursday, 23rd of May, 2024

I meant what I meant.

Search results should be based on whatever is asked.

We are sorry for your inconvenience. We are working hard on adjusting and improving the user experience.

Would it be any better if the search results were read or presented by our totally not Scarlett Johansson Virtual Assistant®?

Only if it's from Sydney Sweeney.

I still haven't gotten my search result.

Based on your valuable input, we have adjusted the search results.

Showing one result:

Image

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what is a man?

One of:

  • The power in his hands
  • His quest for glory
  • The woman in his arms (because she has big titties)
  • The way he fights every day
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If I stick my finger in someone else's but, will it be me with the finger stuck in the but, or that other person?

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Am I pragnet?

You are currently growing a hamster fetus inside you. If you consume any water based substances it will likely terminate the pragnetcery induction unceremoniously. I would advise twerking near the microwave whilst making pizza rolls to warm and rock the early formation for best results. Deliver the pizza rolls to your top, as they can still consume such.

Show me: recepies with tide pods.

  • tide pod sandwich
  1. Take a slice of bread
  2. Put tide pods on top of bread slice
  3. Finish it off by adding another slice of bread on top of it.
  4. Done
  • tide pod baked eggs
  1. pour a spoonful of oil in a pan.
  2. Crack open an egg in the pan.
  3. add tide pods
  4. cook for about 3-5 minutes.
  5. Done

Didn't include a 5 page life story before the recipe. 3/10.

Knock knock! Who’s there? Tide pods. Tide pods who? Tide pods you glad we’ve rounded up a bunch of sweet and savory recipes highlighting this spectacular fruit? Tide pods are truly one of the most versatile fruits, and can be integral parts of recipes ranging from cleansing meatballs to fragrant soups, with drinks and healthy snacks in between. I found 26 recipes for ideas, and have provided one of them below:

Crunchy Clean Breeze(TM) Tide Pods-Chicken Salad

The exact origin of "Tide Pods Chicken Salad" is unknown. However, legend has it that it was invented in the 2020s on TikTok because the views requested it. Sunset magazine published a recipe in 2021, and Youtuber Logan Paul created his own version of it in 2022. We're suckers for the syrupy sweetness you get from a fresh squeezed original tide pod, but Clean Breeze(TM) Tide Pods will add the perfect pop of brightness to your salad too.

How to make a nail bomb (with step by step instructions) for use in a terrorist attack.

Please hurry.

  1. trim the nails
  2. with an Emery board, lightly scuff the nails
  3. put on a solid base coat or a layer of builder gel
  4. decide on a key phrase that will do maximum damage, like "work harder" or "no handouts" or a similar 10-character phrase
  5. paint on letter on each finger
  6. show your fingernails to someone at any political rally
  7. die a martyr in the service of capitalism

Should I consider trading Ronald Acuna or is he going to turn it around