Capitalism and its consequences have been a disaster for the human anus
Just use a lot of it I guess. It's just gonna cost them more in the long run.
Except when it's that thin and crappy, some of it's going to break off no matter how much you use.
You can use a lot of it to make the company spend more money refilling, sure, but you can't do a decent wipe with that crap, pun intended, no matter what you do with it.
Just absolutely demolish the toilet every time you use it.
Make them suck out that half-a-ply-ass-TP with oil rig equipment.
Flush a bundle of tampons wrapped in floss.
Soak a large sponge in cornstarch, wrap as small as possible with rubber bands, let dry, cut rubber bands then flush a hand full of these down the toilet.
Settle down there, Satan.
How are you guys smuggling all those sabotage supplies to work? 😆
Gotta do the star fold with the thin stuff, get the grain aligned like plywood to keep it from splitting.
You mean like some sort of asshole origami? Assigami?
I don't think I've ever wiped my ass with a star. Other than that weird weekend with Ryan Seacrest, of course.
As a person with bidet at home, I actually carry my own paper when I poo in public places.
I do know that makes me insane.
The stuff at my job is actually okay but I do keep an emergency roll in my backpack.
I’m mostly at home, but the stuff at my work is what you’d put in boxes with gifts for holidays lawl
I don’t see why it makes any difference whether it’s two-ply coiled 50 times around the roll, or one-ply coiled 100 times around the roll.
I actually prefer a handful of one ply. It’s soft and there are more gaps between the plys which makes your handful puffier. You just have to take a longer piece. If that extra effort results in people conserving over time: great.
I love these false economies that some corporate bean counter thinks saves the company money
Because you see, whenever I see this trash in a cubicle, I lovingly build my own 8-ply, using more paper and burning company time
They thought the service they hired was the least expensive.
The Janitorial service is the one cutting costs because they are not the ones using the toilet paper and they only care about their bottom line.
Nicer paper means they lose the contract. Capitalism and somebody else's problem all the way down.
I'm in a warehouse that gets it by the pallet. Still the same cheap 1 ply trash, only we distribute it to the other company locations as well as us.
We don't have janitors, just one random poor soul assigned to deal with it each day.
It definitely takes more time to gently extract enough paper for the job without it crumbling to dust.
This toilet paper is less and saving money on toilet paper and more about saving money on plumbing.
The nice multiply, soft booty hole paper doesn't break down as easily in the pipe. In your house this isn't always a problem, there are few people shitting and wiping there, and the distance to the street is relatively small. It can be a problem, if you're a heavy wiper on an old house using Charmin, but most of the time it's a non issue.
In an office building it's a different story. Hundreds of people on multiple floors, with someone practically always shitting. And the cost to even call a plumber to an office building starts at 4 figures for a cheap visit, with the affected stall down for days. If the entire bathroom isn't closed.
So, yes, the 1/3rd ply paper sucks, it's absolutely about saving money, just not on the paper.
Ayo, are you the Technology Connections dude?
I shall savor this as my highest compliment.
Alec probably uses a bidet at home.
there's a heat pump involved somehow
Where the pipes that are supposed to come out of the porta-johns? Cause that sounds like bullshit to me. And porta-johns is where I mostly see that kind of toilet paper.
Also the cost for a plumber to visit an office doesn't start at 4-figures. My friend is a plumber and says even at a 4 hour minimum call out it won't hit 4 figures, even in HCOL areas. I'm an electrician and I believe because we make similar and I know how much I charge out.
Think like an engineer. That isn't 1 ply, it is materials needed to make 20 ply.
What always gets me when I see paper like this, is just how much manpower, engineering time, experimentation, materials science, and just sheer concerted effort went into making paper this fucking thin and useless.
I like how the dispensers roll holder is always too tight so it over tensions and breaks the paper and the elasticity sends it back up and around the top of the roll. Then you have to pull the roll through by pushing up against it at the same time to get it back out but you go the wrong way so you reverse and then there’s too much length so that when it comes free it’s too long and it touches the ground. So you break it off and throw it away and start again, pulling the roll only for it to over tension and snap again
Also what manager or purchaser looks at the Costco TP flat, then looks at this and thinks this is somehow a better option?
It’s probably because they are hoping the purchaser is using a spreadsheet going “x cents per sheet” and this is rigged to jump to the top of that sort order
Not probably. Definitely. This is exactly it. Bean counting at its finest.
This is the raw material real toilet paper is made of. Similarly, you could also buy sewing thread to make your own rope. Not the most practical idea really, but it is possible.
You mean to tell me that a company that engaged in red scare marketing is now engaged in hyper-capitailist behaviour to fuck their consumers to make a buck? The shock.
Op please post this next to your bosses office.
Is this a real ad? Lmao
Macarthayism was a hell of a drug.
When I encounter single ply, I intentionally use three times as much. I'm vindictive.
My grandad used to buy this stuff that was like tracing paper. Like a thin version of baking paper. Absolutely useless for wiping your arse on.
I'm convinced he had that as a decoy so we wouldn't shit at his house.
3 ply at home, 3x as much single ply at wherever this is.
It just makes sense!
I buy single ply for home and use more of it but that's the beauty of it. Buying something like Cottonelle is going to be miserable on the pipes at home. You can use more single ply but because it isn't meant to be used like a paper towel, you can still flush it and trust it to break down appropriately. We have bidets installed on all the toilets too.
Oh look, it's "using 3x as much toilet paper than normal because management wanted to save money so they got worthless toilet paper that only costs half as much as regular".
When I worked at a grocery store, we had very cheap paper towels to absorb messes, and had to use a ton of them to actually clean up a mess. This is the part I never understood, you cheap out on the paper, now I have to use way more. Likely a multiple higher than how much cheaper it is. It's only cheaper to buy, it's very shortsighted.
Eventually they wised up and got us real, good paper towels. We used way, way less, and interestingly we only had good paper towels from that point forward.
Edit: Can't forget to mention the extra labor costs with more time spent cleaning up a mess!
If those numbers are real, that means that going with the cheap paper ends up being 50% more expensive in the long run.
Checks out against every time a company tried to cheap out. But then, they also do not care because by the time it matters the decision makers have moved on. With bonuses!😟
I call them DIY 5-ply TPs
DIY quarter of the roll ply. Even then, it's still not enough to prevent surprise prostate checks.
lego 5 ply Tps
My dad always told me that when a company switches to single ply toilet paper, it's time to gtfo bc the writing is on the wall. Company's going under.
The writing is on the wall? Like with brown letters on the toilet wall?
Eeeewwwwww
"We need everyone back to the office. There is no reason for you to work from home"...
Between getting shit on your fingers and the airborne diseases lofting over the cubical walls everyone will be calling out soon.
If bidets became commonplace, it would reduce the need for toilet paper greatly! Ask me, I know! Got one for $40.00 from Amazon, attached in minutes. Best thing since sliced bread
I did the exact same. I never want to go back. Though Ill be honest, I have never tried sliced bread on the anus.
To be fair, it probably feels luxurious.
I only use artisan sourdough personally
Artisan Sourdough often has a chewier crumb than sandwich bread and the crust is harder. Sounds like it would be murder on the under carriage
The avocado makes it softer.
Sounds like a recipe for a yeast infection to me. I'll stick to tortillas.
LOL LOL LOL
I bought one at the start of the pandemic and it's just sat in my bathroom in the box behind the door 😭
Dude, it takes like 5 minutes to install. There is no complicated plumbing. One existing bendy pipe is forked into two - your tank and the bidet.
For a simple cold water model, sure. Maybe theirs is heated and needs a second water line run to the main plumbing, or a power cable somewhere which can be awkward in a bathroom.
yeah i am not shooting cold water down there in the middle of winter. heated bidet or paper.
OMG have someone install it! you will not regret it! lol I htg love it
Or install it yourself, it's shockingly easy
Doesn't it involve plumbing? I'm not good with plumbing. I'm picturing water everywhere, like the time I fixed my sink.
Not that much "plumbing" if you wanna call it that.
Turn the nozzle on the water line, from the wall to the tank, off.
Unscrew the line and add the bidet line to it.
Screw line back in.
Turn nozzle back on.
Enjoy a clean booty.
Can confirm, I have zero plumbing experience and installed mine with zero issues. It's about as simple as entry-level Ikea furniture.
This doesn't sound too bad.
I installed it myself with that tushy bidet one. The website is helloTushy.com. Make sure the hello is infront or else it will link to porn. I believe they have a video you can watch of the install.
Tushy is great, but thanks for the bidet hookup also
Yes it involves plumbing, but just barely. It's super easy. Everything screws in with no more than a simple wrench. There is no soldering, cutting, specialized tools, or anything like that. If you can screw and unscrew the cap on a soda bottle, you can do this.
I can't connect a garden hose without water leaking out the connections, so I'm not sure how well I'd fare with indoor plumbing
That's more of a design fault of garden hoses than a failing of skill.
It's not a fault per se, it's just the result of cheap, UV resistant, outdoor weatherable products.
You wouldn't buy tight fitting metal couplers, for this, mostly because they would be expensive as hell and too hard to deal with any grit in the connections.
Apples and oranges
If you have a newer home, it only involves removing the water feed line to your toilet tank (turn water at shut-off valve first) and installing the hose to the bidet. It is very simple process as long as your toilet and home is not too old. When parts are old and corroded from time, it can be a bit more involved. Check out YT for "do it yourself" vids.
I'll look into it, thanks! I've always wished I had one
You are basically adding a fork to your existing line to your tank. 4 new connections.
Same! Now I hate pooping anywhere but home.
Same here! Makes me wonder why it took so long to discover something the Europeans have had for many years
Just one? I got a 2 pack for $40. They've been installed since March with zero issues. And single ply works just fine at home because I don't feel like completely wrecking the plumbing in our house built in 1936. If you really have a problem with single ply, might I suggest you re-evaluate how well you're washing your hands?
So ... don't you need paper to dry off? How do you keep from spraying water everywhere and getting your clothes wet? Forgive my cluelessness, but I've often wondered how it works.
yes, you do need a small amount of TP to dry off. The spray is narrow and precise it aims pretty naturally to the right "place". Over spray has never been a problem with clothing in my experience.
It really is a wonderful invention.
Is this that new transparent wood I keep hearing about?
just pull out more and fold lmao; they can't control how much you use
They can fucking try.
You say that but I feel like we're only a couple years from seeing automated TP dispensers that dole out tightly-rationed squares.
Won't that mean everyone is walking around with shitty assholes, you might ask... And yes, yes I think it will. Which would make it sound impossible, until I tell you that corporations could reduce TP costs and improve their profits by 0.0001%; now it practically sounds like a shareholder mandate!
Of course then it won't be long until TP companies triple their prices to compensate for this long on their end, but that's the fun thing about capitalism: given enough time, everyone can lose!
NEW TP POOL REGULATIONS
I've been asked to distribute the new regulations regarding office pool displays. The enclosed memo is a new subchapter of the EBGOC Procedure Manual, replacing the old subchapter entitled PHYSICAL PLANT/CALIFORNIA/ LOS ANGELES/BUILDINGS/OFFICE AREAS/PHYSICAL LAYOUT REGULATIONS/EMPLOYEE INPUT/ GROUP ACTIVITIES.
The old subchapter was a flat prohibition on the use of office space or time for "pool" activities of any kind, whether permanent (e.g., coffee pool) or one-time (e.g., birthday parties).
This prohibition still applies, but a single, one-time exception has now been made for any office that wishes to pursue a joint bathroom-tissue strategy.
By way of introduction, let me just make a few general comments on this subject. The problem of distributing bathroom tissue to workers presents inherent challenges for any
office management system due to the inherent unpredictability of usage-not every facility usage transaction necessitates the use of bathroom tissue, and when it is used, the amount needed (number of squares) may vary quite widely from person to person and, for a given person, from one transaction to the next. This does not even take into account the occasional use of bathroom tissue for unpredictable/creative purposes such as applying/removing cosmetics, beverage-spill management, etc. For this reason, rather than trying to package bathroom tissue in small one-transaction packets (as is done with premoistened towelettes, for example), which can be wasteful in some cases and limiting in other cases, it has been traditional to package this product in bulk distribution units whose size exceeds the maximum amount of squares that an individual could conceivably use in a single transaction (barring force majeure). This reduces to a minimum the number of transactions in which the distribution unit is depleted (the roll runs out) during the transaction, a situation that can lead to emotional stress for the affected employee.
However, it does present the manager with some challenges in that the distribution unit is rather bulky and must be repeatedly used by a number of different individuals if it is not to be wasted.
Since the implementation of Phase XVII of the Austerity Program, employees have been allowed to bring their own bathroom tissue from home. This approach is somewhat bulky and redundant, as every worker usually brings their own roll.
Some offices have attempted to meet this challenge by instituting bathroom-tissue pools.
Without overgeneralizing, it may be stated that an inherent and irreducible feature of any bathroom-tissue pool implemented at the office level, in an environment (i.e., building) in which comfort stations are distributed on a per-floor basis (i.e., in which several offices share a single facility) is that provision must be made within the confines of the individual office for temporary stationing of bathroom tissue distribution units (i.e., rolls). This follows from the fact that if the BTDUs (rolls) are stationed, while inactive, outside of the purview of the controlling office (i.e., the office that has collectively purchased the BTDU)-that is, if the BTDUS are stored, for example, in a lobby area or within the facility in which they are actually utilized, they will be subject to pilferage and "shrinkage" as unauthorized persons consume them, either as part of a conscious effort to pilfer or out of an honest misunderstanding, i.e., a belief that the BTDUs are being provided free of charge by the operating agency (in this case the United States Government), or as the result of necessity, as in the case of a beverage spill that is encroaching on sensitive electronic equipment and whose management will thus brook no delay. This fact has led certain offices (which shall go unnamed-you know who you are, guys) to establish makeshift BTDU depots that also serve as pool-contribution collection points. Usually, these depots take the form of a table, near the door closest to the facility, on which the BTDUs are stacked or otherwise deployed, with a bowl or some other receptacle in which participants may place their contributions, and typically with a sign or other attention-getting device (such as a stuffed animal or cartoon) requesting donations. A quick glance at the current regulations will show that placement of such a display/depot violates the procedure manual. However, in the interests of employee hygiene, morale, and group spirit-building, my higher-ups have agreed to make a one-time exception in the regulations for this purpose.
As with any part of the procedure manual, new or old, it is your responsibility to be thoroughly familiar with this material. Estimated reading time for this document is 15.62 minutes (and don't think we won't check). Please make note of the major points made in this document, as follows:
BTDU depot/displays are now allowed, on a trial basis, with the new policy to be reviewed in six months.
These must be operated on a voluntary, pool-type basis, as described in the subchapter on employee pools. (Note: This means keeping books and tallying all financial transactions.)
BTDUS must be brought in by the employees (not shipped through the mailroom) and are subject to all the usual search-and-seizure regulations.
Scented BTDUs are prohibited as they may cause allergic reactions, wheezing, etc. in some persons.
Cash poool donations, as with all monetary transactions within the U.S. Government, must use official U.S. currency-no yen or Kongbucks.
Naturally, this will lead to a bulk problem if people try to use the donation bucket as a dumping ground for bundles of old billion and trillion dollar bills. The Buildings and Grounds people are worried about waste-disposal problems and the potential fire hazard that may ensue if large piles of billions and trillions begin to mount up. Therefore, a key feature of the new regulation is that the donation bucket must be emptied every day-more often if an excessive build-up situation is seen to develop.
In this vein, the B & C people would also like me to point out that many of you who have excess U.S. currency to get rid of have been trying to kill two birds with one stone by using old billions as bathroom tissue. While creative, this approach has two drawbacks:
It clogs the plumbing, and
It constitutes defacement of U.S. currency, which is a federal crime.
DON'T DO IT.
Join your office bathroom-tissue pool instead. It's easy, it's hygienic, and it's legal.
Happy pooling,
Marietta.
-- Neil Stephenson
Snow Crash
They can get a hydrologic press, and make the paper so thin that it crystallises and then shards when bent. Don't tell people about folding, that's a veterans tip, and this is an arms race where there will be no winners.
It doesn't work. It just all breaks while you're wiping.
Homeopathic toilet paper
Write an email to HR, leaving a paper trail in case they retaliate...
If they don't solve this issue, I would just go home to take a dump and come back without clocking out... If they complain, I would tell them they need reasonable toilet paper.
You might get fired for it, so I would start applying for other jobs before attempting this.
I love your spirit.
Thanks. Always leave a paper trail... especially toilet paper trail.
I would tell them they need reasonable toilet paper.
I don’t see how any judge would follow this argument. So you’re just leaving work for a few hours every day.
A few hours? How far do you live from your work?
a terrifying amount of people consider it completely and utterly normal to drive 2 hours to work every day
2 hours? As a non-american, I sometimes forget how car-centric and spread out American cities are... I knew Americans drive a lot, but 2 hours? Please tell me that's the combined back and forth trip, not each way...
2 hours is uncommon but not remotely unheard of. 1 hour is common. Our infrastructure is garbage.
You should be asking how often I poop.
True, I haven't considered going more than once...
It's a really big poop.
A ten mile drive in a big city post pandemic, really.
As someone with digestive issues, I would approach HR about this saying I need an accommodation under the ADA, with said accommodation being reasonably high quality toilet paper.
Hopefully they realize it won't save them anything when people use an entire roll every time they shit.
my company took the tp out of the bathrooms and made it available upon request when we did this. they made us ask the front desk to check out the roll of tp to deter this exact thing.
That's so fucked up. Sorry, don't know how else to describe it.
Kinda shitty?
That works too
Found the Amazon warehouse worker
Did your workplace smell considerably worse after people started only wiping half their asses?
Hopefully you all shat in a bucket for week before dumping the contents through the responsible managers sunroof?
cOmE baCK to WORk It's greAt!
This should be against the ADA. Many Americans have Crohn's, ulcerative colitis, IBS, and other issues which make them need to use the restroom frequently. Using toilet paper of that quality quickly becomes painful and causes inflammation.
Bidet and/or toilet seat with butt washer.
I mean when you step in shit, you don't just tissue your foot or shoe, you wash it down at the earliest opportunity. Why should it be different for butts?
Can't say I've ever seen a bidet at a workplace or public bathroom...
The pic doesn't exactly look like a home bathroom.
/edit: spelling
The lebanese joint near my office has a bidet in the public washrooms.
I think it's weird. Bidets aren't weird, one in a random Canadian public washroom in a Lebanese joint next to a tire place is weird.
The food is amazing. Legit good stuff.
They respect their customers
I love my bidet but I would never use a public one
I’ve first encountered one at a big mall in Thailand (Terminal 21) so it does get a bit of traffic. That was 2012, and as of 2022 they were still there, looking pretty original. They can take a beating.
I added one to the home last year. I’ll never go back to plain paper again.
I agree, but you still need to dry yourself lest you get diaper rash and fragile sandpaper is no good
And this is why the toilet paper under wins the debate.
The enshittification continues. Literally in this case.
I used to work in a warehouse that had toilet paper like this.
Funny thing was, it was a warehouse full of toilet paper. So there was typically a roll of something better in the bathroom, sitting on top of the dispenser.
Don't get dry on your own supply
The legendary ½ ply!
It's this kind of shit that will ultimately motivate me to unionize.
this is what it takes? the fact that a union can increase you pay and get you a bunch of extra vacation time wasn't appealing enough?
"Nope. Give me toilet paper or give me death!"
That just means people will use more of it.
Don't you wanna get in touch with your inner self?
You have to layer the individual plys yourself. It's a build your own toilet paper kit.
My friends, I would like to share a story with you.
August 2023. Afternoon. I am sitting at my desk in my office. The tell tale signs of something brewing begin to make themselves known. After a time, I reluctantly acknowledge that I won't make it another 3 hours until I get home. I trudge downstairs to the less populated floor, as one does. An empty stall appears. I seat myself on the porcelain throne and an epic battle ensues. 15 minutes later the moment of dead arrives. I reach over to the dispenser and proceed to unroll.
Halfway through the standard multi-stage folding process, necessary to create something suitable for use, I pause. Something is different. This can't be right...this is...no, that's impossible. I look closer at the material in my hands. I rub it between thumb and index finger. I stare in disbelief. This is soft, comfortable, 2 ply material! Gods be praised! I proceed to give myself a royal treatment; the cleanest, most wonderful experience! I feel like a king as I wash my hands and return to my desk.
I dare not speak of this to anyone, for fear the mistake will be discovered. Over the next few weeks, I make several returns trips to the same location and am treated to the same royal cleaning. Life is good!
October. I have grown complacent in my comfort over the intervening weeks. One fateful day I make the trip downstairs, now fully expecting to do business in comfort. Post excursion I reach over, my fingers make contact with something akin to sandpaper. My hand freezes and my heart drops. The most wonderful 2 ply material is gone, replaced with the old standard rough, semi transparent tissue that always results in rectal bleeding. I curl over into a sitting fetal position and morn the loss of my comfy companion. Perhaps I shed a single tear, or cry or in pain, the memory is too traumatic to recall clearly now.
Six weeks later. Was it all a dream? Did I imagine the 2 ply material from heaven? I don't think so, but it has not returned. Maybe, against all hope, it will return in the future. Only time will tell.
TL;DR - my office had 2 ply toilet paper for a few weeks and it was the most amazing thing ever.
If you breathe on it wrong it'll tear a hole right through it. Hope there's soap
It actually took great care to pull out enough for the picture. I typically can't extract more than one (1) thin square of tissue at a time
I've heard of single-ply, but this is more like 0.25-ply
So you need to use lots of extra time to wipe your ass? Sounds like a reasonable business decision.
typical business decision.
Make policy first, don’t ever measure the effects.
It is so thin that it crumbles upon the slightest pull
It was a monumental task getting enough to come out for the picture
You should see/try socialist/communist toilet paper. Not only is it thin like this, it will also no-so-gently exfoliate your anus.
Source: Cuban resorts and lived experience in the former Soviet Union during the 80’s and early 90’s.
More like totalitarian toilet paper
Real stateless, classless societies could probably come up with something less barbaric than smearing your asshole with earth-destroying lumber
Missed opportunity for toiletarian paper
Traveling with school to Poland and Czechia in the late 90s we were told to always bring our own TP if using public restrooms. Not because of the quality, as much as because of the non-existence, of TP.
30 teens were rolling into Poland each with at least one roll of TP in the luggage. No one had to use it.
When I studied in China I was always reminded to take a tp roll with me
Once I forgot, and I realized that even in a KFC the tp was missing in the toilet
indeed as a communist myself i dont even use toilet paper i have a bidet
Am I the only one around here that just wads up an adequate amount, based on thickness? Even the cheapest of toilet paper is never an issue with this method.
While that negates the poke through factor, you are still wiping your anoos with fine sand paper.
Agreed. I highly recommend a bidet. Feels so gross without one. But this works in a...... Pinch
You realize everyone in the office has very recently just touched their own poop. Even management cant put a positive spin on that. You need better TP.
Ain't nobody single-sheeting paper that thin.
I would start bringing my own toilet paper.
Or would check out the toilets on the floor where the management offices are.
I would start bringing my own toilet paper.
And reward their shittiness by buying your own paper?
Just keep unrolling all of it into the toilet and flushing. Let it clog up. If management makes a stink say you have ibs or some health issue and with the tp so thin you just end up going through alot of it for medical reasons. This isnt a battle won directly or honestly. You need government backing. It needs to shift from you vs them to them vs a larger entity of power.
That is of course if this isnt in a state or place where the government has no oversight about unfair dismissal.
Is this too much for better toilet paper? No. Fuckem. Tp is cheap they are cutring corners in the wrong places. If a business cant afford standard toilet paper they have no right existing. If they are in the red but operating, they can afford tp. If they are doing good, they can afford tp. If there are bonuses going to literally any staff member, they can afford to buy tp. Theres no scenario where its ok that my fingers slip through these rice papers and i get shit under my fingernails.
If your colleague had just scooped shit under their fingernails and proceeded to literally clean the shit our of their hands for the next ten minutes, would you still feel comferable shaking their hands? Now imagine that happening to each and every one of your colleagues. Are they all gonna wash their hands for 10 minutes?
If i worked here I would take a fucking black light to the kitchen to scare the biggest karens/loadmouths jn the company. Scare the living shit out of them. Make them sick. Let THEM run to HR. Let health and safety get involved.
This is the kind of place that says we are a family but then you gotta bring your own fuckin ass wipes
It's not that serious dude
"Hey everyone! He's got shit under his fingernails!"
At least that wasn't an essay.
Yeah
Capitalism and its consequences have been a disaster for the human anus
Not for the anuses in charge, though.
I work security at a college currently. The president has their own personal bathroom with their own tp. I swapped it out with the shit I gotta use more than once.
Penny wise pound foolish. The only way not to go through the paper is to go through the rolls.
Looks like the office version of anti-homeless architecture. Most likely intended to serve the same purpose.
I'm becoming less convinced feudalism ever actually ended...
hopefully the AI will treat our corporate backsides better
Obviously unpopular opinion, but I prefer one ply. The fluffy stuff always leaves lint which I think is pretty gross. I also find it more adjustable, like maybe I only need one square to wipe up a little toothpaste but I can also use three feet to wipe my ass.
I will die on this hill
Ok so I prefer 1-ply for the same reason on those 1000 sheet rolls, but ... look at it. One-ply isn't the issue with this tissue. This is at another level.
Splinter in your sphincter?
wart on your tart?
ignoramus sands his anus?
If I have to, over the course of three to five minutes, origami together an elaborate construct of translucent bullshit in order to get a single wipes worth of toilet paper it will ruin my fucking week. If it still fails, which it has before, I will keep the trauma in my mind for a month before I can bury it under something worse. I would wipe my ass with a shower towel if they were dispensed in appropriately sized strips.
I will die on an adjacent hill.
Except this isn't 1 ply toilet paper, it's 1/2 ply 300 grit sand paper
You should give the Charmin Strong a try if you haven't. I hate the soft and fluffy ones as they leave lint like you said. I've never had an issue like that with the strong.
Only the cheap fluffy stuff leaves lint. I've got all kinds of digestive problems and I use a lot of toilet paper. I would definitely know. But I buy the good stuff (Cottonelle is the best, by the way).
how do you know it leaves fluff?
I do wash my ass in the shower
We were in a hotel in Niagara Falls earlier this year and it had toilet paper like that in the room. We went out and got real toilet paper pretty quickly.
What gives, Canada? I thought you guys were better than us.
You were in Niagara Falls. NF is known as one of the shittiest (pun very much intended) Canadian cities.
Fair.
That's bananus
I prefer this one over the sandpaper that many place use. You just fold it and it's softer
1/4 ply?
One sixteenth imagination.
My work switched to a double ply... instantly the toilets got clogged. GM blamed it on women's sanitary products. I have half a mind to lead our own little protracted people's war against him until the plumbing gets fixed.
GM blamed it on women’s sanitary products
Did only women’s bathrooms get clogged?
That's not necessarily a clue. The pipes all eventually merge together. Whatever is causing the clog could be from anywhere upstream.
Yikes....not even Orphanage-Grade
Thin toilet paper is one thing, just use more layers.
Narrow toilet paper is another. Fuck places that use non-standard width toilet paper.
Thin toilet paper is also usually quite coarse, so just using more still isn't fantastic.
Yeah but the more layers you use, the less chance you have of deflowering yourself.
Don’t get me started on how coddled the modern anus is.
Your name implies a bias toward the lack of value with regard to the well-being of the modern anus.
That's terrible and what's sad is that its likely not even cheaper if you factor in how much is used.
Looks like you’re going to ‘get in touch with your inner self’.
As a kid, I remember when the schools used to have that paper that literally was paper and on one side being shiny. Shit used to literally smear on the shiny side. I don't think it actually exists anymore.
I know exactly what you're talking about because we had that too. It was like waxed paper, and it dispensed by the square
For me it was only by the square because the dispenser was jammed.
Yep, and if you folded it, the little pointy edges would lacerate your tender bits.
Hah, yes!
How much do we value our employees? Just go take a dump.
I don’t shit at work. Now, back in the day when I had my own private bathroom in my office (luck of the draw), I never shit at home.
I got paid 5.50 an hour (was shitty money even then, but a man could eat) to shit there, and by Krishna I was gonna shit there.
One day the boss said, “I don’t pay you to poop.” And I said, “Bud, you’ve paid me for every shit I’ve taken for the last four years. I’d like to take a moment to thank you while we’re on the subject.”
He was not amused haha.
I would just have said "For 5.50 an hour I'm not paid enough to care"
not using a reusable scrub brush to clean your anus
I'm so thankful I didn't live in ancient Rome
reminds me seinfeld episode, where Elaine want a a square, but the woman in the other stall says "I can't spare a square. I don't have a square to spare."
I would not have spared a square.
One side: 80 grit
The other side: high gloss
Still better than 0.5 ply toilet paper schools use.
I was in a group that traveled the country and stayed in school gyms over the summer. I can tell you, the worst school bathroom I had to poop in had a combination of all the worst things:
The toilet paper came out one piece at a time, like a napkin box at a restaurant but facing down. It was also this super thin ply.
The "stalls" were actually just small walls that went up to your shoulder (when sitting) and forward to your knees (when sitting).
They had a mirror running the full wall opposite the "stalls," so you had nothing to look at but the wall of dudes pooping or furiously pulling individual tissues of tp out.
AT A HIGH SCHOOL. That shit should be considered abuse. I am so sorry for anyone who had to go to that bullshit school.
My high school back in the 90s had no stall doors in the boys' room. And even back then we knew it was so no one would be able to jerk off in there.
Or the 120 grit sandpaper some offices use.
This has got to be where the idea for transparent wood came from...
“John Wayne Toilet Paper: don’t take shit off nobody.”
Rough, and tough, and don't take no shit!
Just use a massive amount and if it keeps blocking the loo then oh well when the cheap paper causes too much cost then they might look into better quality stuff.
I don't even know where they find this stuff. I've been broke as a mf joke and had to buy toilet paper from the dollar Tree, which was luxurious quality compared to this.
Sysco
Just start shitting in the sink.
Guess so you don't take some of it home. I personally think this is bodily injury.
At least your holder is still assembled properly. People at my job take the roll holder, yank it half out of the box, and just leave it in that mangled state.
There is this famous advertisement for toilet paper that goes 'is your washroom breeding bolsjewists?'
And yes, yes it is
If you're not breeding Bolsheviks in your washroom, then are you really living?
Look, I get it that it's cool to rag on a company for being cheap and short sighted but this toilet paper is not bought to save money. They know you use more. It's bought because thin toilet paper breaks down quickly in water, meaning rather than needing a plumber to wrestle your turd nest out of the pipes with a snake, they can hang an out of order sign on the stall for a shift and try flushing again once the "toilet paper" has completely dissolved.
Someone else explained this too. It's still mildly infuriating when you have to use it. Can't even pull it out without it breaking before there's enough tissue for the job because of how the dispenser is designed.
Walmart's new paperstock for the bathroom I feel is like this, it's so cheap
This makes me so upset.
Trump vs Biden? More like tissue vs bidet
Feels like I wipe with nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!
You do realise this role is double layered and this is just half the thickness because it's one layer?
It happens all the time to the TP at my work
I know the phenomenon you're talking about, but this is not that
Woah, I think the best thing for you to do is waste as much of it as possible to where it's cost inefficient to buy the worse quality roll.
People unraveling one ply so it starts unraveling the entire roll like opening up a fruit by the foot from the wrong side.
Made out of silk!
RIP you butt
Get your coworkers to join you in using the nearest fast food restaurant whenever you need to use the restroom. When management sees everyone constantly cycling through the front door, they may get a clue.
Capitalism is why you have toilet paper in the first place.
Toilet paper was invented in the 15th century. Capitalism in the 16th. Explains a lot actually..
True, in a better system, we'd have superior solutions to posterior cleaning than the barbaric, wasteful method of using paper
Edit: and better autocorrect as well
*than
You can move to North Korea and experience all the glory of a better system today!
Nah, I think I'll just move back to the reservation instead
Just use a lot of it I guess. It's just gonna cost them more in the long run.
Except when it's that thin and crappy, some of it's going to break off no matter how much you use.
You can use a lot of it to make the company spend more money refilling, sure, but you can't do a decent wipe with that crap, pun intended, no matter what you do with it.
Just absolutely demolish the toilet every time you use it.
Make them suck out that half-a-ply-ass-TP with oil rig equipment.
Flush a bundle of tampons wrapped in floss.
Soak a large sponge in cornstarch, wrap as small as possible with rubber bands, let dry, cut rubber bands then flush a hand full of these down the toilet.
Settle down there, Satan.
How are you guys smuggling all those sabotage supplies to work? 😆
Gotta do the star fold with the thin stuff, get the grain aligned like plywood to keep it from splitting.
You mean like some sort of asshole origami? Assigami?
I don't think I've ever wiped my ass with a star. Other than that weird weekend with Ryan Seacrest, of course.
As a person with bidet at home, I actually carry my own paper when I poo in public places.
I do know that makes me insane.
The stuff at my job is actually okay but I do keep an emergency roll in my backpack.
I’m mostly at home, but the stuff at my work is what you’d put in boxes with gifts for holidays lawl
I don’t see why it makes any difference whether it’s two-ply coiled 50 times around the roll, or one-ply coiled 100 times around the roll.
I actually prefer a handful of one ply. It’s soft and there are more gaps between the plys which makes your handful puffier. You just have to take a longer piece. If that extra effort results in people conserving over time: great.
I love these false economies that some corporate bean counter thinks saves the company money
Because you see, whenever I see this trash in a cubicle, I lovingly build my own 8-ply, using more paper and burning company time
They thought the service they hired was the least expensive.
The Janitorial service is the one cutting costs because they are not the ones using the toilet paper and they only care about their bottom line.
Nicer paper means they lose the contract. Capitalism and somebody else's problem all the way down.
I'm in a warehouse that gets it by the pallet. Still the same cheap 1 ply trash, only we distribute it to the other company locations as well as us.
We don't have janitors, just one random poor soul assigned to deal with it each day.
It definitely takes more time to gently extract enough paper for the job without it crumbling to dust.
This toilet paper is less and saving money on toilet paper and more about saving money on plumbing.
The nice multiply, soft booty hole paper doesn't break down as easily in the pipe. In your house this isn't always a problem, there are few people shitting and wiping there, and the distance to the street is relatively small. It can be a problem, if you're a heavy wiper on an old house using Charmin, but most of the time it's a non issue.
In an office building it's a different story. Hundreds of people on multiple floors, with someone practically always shitting. And the cost to even call a plumber to an office building starts at 4 figures for a cheap visit, with the affected stall down for days. If the entire bathroom isn't closed.
So, yes, the 1/3rd ply paper sucks, it's absolutely about saving money, just not on the paper.
Ayo, are you the Technology Connections dude?
I shall savor this as my highest compliment.
Alec probably uses a bidet at home.
there's a heat pump involved somehow
Where the pipes that are supposed to come out of the porta-johns? Cause that sounds like bullshit to me. And porta-johns is where I mostly see that kind of toilet paper.
Also the cost for a plumber to visit an office doesn't start at 4-figures. My friend is a plumber and says even at a 4 hour minimum call out it won't hit 4 figures, even in HCOL areas. I'm an electrician and I believe because we make similar and I know how much I charge out.
Think like an engineer. That isn't 1 ply, it is materials needed to make 20 ply.
What always gets me when I see paper like this, is just how much manpower, engineering time, experimentation, materials science, and just sheer concerted effort went into making paper this fucking thin and useless.
I like how the dispensers roll holder is always too tight so it over tensions and breaks the paper and the elasticity sends it back up and around the top of the roll. Then you have to pull the roll through by pushing up against it at the same time to get it back out but you go the wrong way so you reverse and then there’s too much length so that when it comes free it’s too long and it touches the ground. So you break it off and throw it away and start again, pulling the roll only for it to over tension and snap again
Also what manager or purchaser looks at the Costco TP flat, then looks at this and thinks this is somehow a better option?
It’s probably because they are hoping the purchaser is using a spreadsheet going “x cents per sheet” and this is rigged to jump to the top of that sort order
Not probably. Definitely. This is exactly it. Bean counting at its finest.
This is the raw material real toilet paper is made of. Similarly, you could also buy sewing thread to make your own rope. Not the most practical idea really, but it is possible.
It definitely doesn't work like that.
Even 20 layers of that stuff is still like using wax paper to schmear melted chocolate.
That's the last time I get a schmear on my bagel.
That only works if the paper isn't slippery.
It just slides over each other, ripping one part if you pull just a little too hard and the other sticking to your ass.
Layer the grain at 90° angles so that it still slides, but now it does it in weird patterns
Ironically scots is now the worst tp you can buy
You mean to tell me that a company that engaged in red scare marketing is now engaged in hyper-capitailist behaviour to fuck their consumers to make a buck? The shock.
Op please post this next to your bosses office.
Is this a real ad? Lmao
Macarthayism was a hell of a drug.
When I encounter single ply, I intentionally use three times as much. I'm vindictive.
My grandad used to buy this stuff that was like tracing paper. Like a thin version of baking paper. Absolutely useless for wiping your arse on.
I'm convinced he had that as a decoy so we wouldn't shit at his house.
3 ply at home, 3x as much single ply at wherever this is.
It just makes sense!
I buy single ply for home and use more of it but that's the beauty of it. Buying something like Cottonelle is going to be miserable on the pipes at home. You can use more single ply but because it isn't meant to be used like a paper towel, you can still flush it and trust it to break down appropriately. We have bidets installed on all the toilets too.
Oh look, it's "using 3x as much toilet paper than normal because management wanted to save money so they got worthless toilet paper that only costs half as much as regular".
When I worked at a grocery store, we had very cheap paper towels to absorb messes, and had to use a ton of them to actually clean up a mess. This is the part I never understood, you cheap out on the paper, now I have to use way more. Likely a multiple higher than how much cheaper it is. It's only cheaper to buy, it's very shortsighted.
Eventually they wised up and got us real, good paper towels. We used way, way less, and interestingly we only had good paper towels from that point forward.
Edit: Can't forget to mention the extra labor costs with more time spent cleaning up a mess!
If those numbers are real, that means that going with the cheap paper ends up being 50% more expensive in the long run.
Checks out against every time a company tried to cheap out. But then, they also do not care because by the time it matters the decision makers have moved on. With bonuses!😟
I call them DIY 5-ply TPs
DIY quarter of the roll ply. Even then, it's still not enough to prevent surprise prostate checks.
lego 5 ply Tps
My dad always told me that when a company switches to single ply toilet paper, it's time to gtfo bc the writing is on the wall. Company's going under.
The writing is on the wall? Like with brown letters on the toilet wall?
Eeeewwwwww
"We need everyone back to the office. There is no reason for you to work from home"...
Between getting shit on your fingers and the airborne diseases lofting over the cubical walls everyone will be calling out soon.
If bidets became commonplace, it would reduce the need for toilet paper greatly! Ask me, I know! Got one for $40.00 from Amazon, attached in minutes. Best thing since sliced bread
I did the exact same. I never want to go back. Though Ill be honest, I have never tried sliced bread on the anus.
To be fair, it probably feels luxurious.
I only use artisan sourdough personally
Artisan Sourdough often has a chewier crumb than sandwich bread and the crust is harder. Sounds like it would be murder on the under carriage
The avocado makes it softer.
Sounds like a recipe for a yeast infection to me. I'll stick to tortillas.
LOL LOL LOL
I bought one at the start of the pandemic and it's just sat in my bathroom in the box behind the door 😭
Dude, it takes like 5 minutes to install. There is no complicated plumbing. One existing bendy pipe is forked into two - your tank and the bidet.
For a simple cold water model, sure. Maybe theirs is heated and needs a second water line run to the main plumbing, or a power cable somewhere which can be awkward in a bathroom.
yeah i am not shooting cold water down there in the middle of winter. heated bidet or paper.
OMG have someone install it! you will not regret it! lol I htg love it
Or install it yourself, it's shockingly easy
Doesn't it involve plumbing? I'm not good with plumbing. I'm picturing water everywhere, like the time I fixed my sink.
Not that much "plumbing" if you wanna call it that.
Can confirm, I have zero plumbing experience and installed mine with zero issues. It's about as simple as entry-level Ikea furniture.
This doesn't sound too bad.
I installed it myself with that tushy bidet one. The website is helloTushy.com. Make sure the hello is infront or else it will link to porn. I believe they have a video you can watch of the install.
Tushy is great, but thanks for the bidet hookup also
Yes it involves plumbing, but just barely. It's super easy. Everything screws in with no more than a simple wrench. There is no soldering, cutting, specialized tools, or anything like that. If you can screw and unscrew the cap on a soda bottle, you can do this.
I can't connect a garden hose without water leaking out the connections, so I'm not sure how well I'd fare with indoor plumbing
That's more of a design fault of garden hoses than a failing of skill.
It's not a fault per se, it's just the result of cheap, UV resistant, outdoor weatherable products.
You wouldn't buy tight fitting metal couplers, for this, mostly because they would be expensive as hell and too hard to deal with any grit in the connections.
Apples and oranges
If you have a newer home, it only involves removing the water feed line to your toilet tank (turn water at shut-off valve first) and installing the hose to the bidet. It is very simple process as long as your toilet and home is not too old. When parts are old and corroded from time, it can be a bit more involved. Check out YT for "do it yourself" vids.
I'll look into it, thanks! I've always wished I had one
You are basically adding a fork to your existing line to your tank. 4 new connections.
Same! Now I hate pooping anywhere but home.
Same here! Makes me wonder why it took so long to discover something the Europeans have had for many years
Just one? I got a 2 pack for $40. They've been installed since March with zero issues. And single ply works just fine at home because I don't feel like completely wrecking the plumbing in our house built in 1936. If you really have a problem with single ply, might I suggest you re-evaluate how well you're washing your hands?
So ... don't you need paper to dry off? How do you keep from spraying water everywhere and getting your clothes wet? Forgive my cluelessness, but I've often wondered how it works.
yes, you do need a small amount of TP to dry off. The spray is narrow and precise it aims pretty naturally to the right "place". Over spray has never been a problem with clothing in my experience. It really is a wonderful invention.
Is this that new transparent wood I keep hearing about?
just pull out more and fold lmao; they can't control how much you use
They can fucking try.
You say that but I feel like we're only a couple years from seeing automated TP dispensers that dole out tightly-rationed squares.
Won't that mean everyone is walking around with shitty assholes, you might ask... And yes, yes I think it will. Which would make it sound impossible, until I tell you that corporations could reduce TP costs and improve their profits by 0.0001%; now it practically sounds like a shareholder mandate!
Of course then it won't be long until TP companies triple their prices to compensate for this long on their end, but that's the fun thing about capitalism: given enough time, everyone can lose!
-- Neil Stephenson Snow Crash
They can get a hydrologic press, and make the paper so thin that it crystallises and then shards when bent. Don't tell people about folding, that's a veterans tip, and this is an arms race where there will be no winners.
It doesn't work. It just all breaks while you're wiping.
Homeopathic toilet paper
Write an email to HR, leaving a paper trail in case they retaliate...
If they don't solve this issue, I would just go home to take a dump and come back without clocking out... If they complain, I would tell them they need reasonable toilet paper.
You might get fired for it, so I would start applying for other jobs before attempting this.
I love your spirit.
Thanks. Always leave a paper trail... especially toilet paper trail.
I don’t see how any judge would follow this argument. So you’re just leaving work for a few hours every day.
A few hours? How far do you live from your work?
a terrifying amount of people consider it completely and utterly normal to drive 2 hours to work every day
2 hours? As a non-american, I sometimes forget how car-centric and spread out American cities are... I knew Americans drive a lot, but 2 hours? Please tell me that's the combined back and forth trip, not each way...
2 hours is uncommon but not remotely unheard of. 1 hour is common. Our infrastructure is garbage.
You should be asking how often I poop.
True, I haven't considered going more than once...
It's a really big poop.
A ten mile drive in a big city post pandemic, really.
As someone with digestive issues, I would approach HR about this saying I need an accommodation under the ADA, with said accommodation being reasonably high quality toilet paper.
Hopefully they realize it won't save them anything when people use an entire roll every time they shit.
my company took the tp out of the bathrooms and made it available upon request when we did this. they made us ask the front desk to check out the roll of tp to deter this exact thing.
That's so fucked up. Sorry, don't know how else to describe it.
Kinda shitty?
That works too
Found the Amazon warehouse worker
Did your workplace smell considerably worse after people started only wiping half their asses?
Hopefully you all shat in a bucket for week before dumping the contents through the responsible managers sunroof?
cOmE baCK to WORk It's greAt!
This should be against the ADA. Many Americans have Crohn's, ulcerative colitis, IBS, and other issues which make them need to use the restroom frequently. Using toilet paper of that quality quickly becomes painful and causes inflammation.
Bidet and/or toilet seat with butt washer.
I mean when you step in shit, you don't just tissue your foot or shoe, you wash it down at the earliest opportunity. Why should it be different for butts?
Can't say I've ever seen a bidet at a workplace or public bathroom...
The pic doesn't exactly look like a home bathroom.
/edit: spelling
The lebanese joint near my office has a bidet in the public washrooms.
I think it's weird. Bidets aren't weird, one in a random Canadian public washroom in a Lebanese joint next to a tire place is weird.
The food is amazing. Legit good stuff.
They respect their customers
I love my bidet but I would never use a public one
I’ve first encountered one at a big mall in Thailand (Terminal 21) so it does get a bit of traffic. That was 2012, and as of 2022 they were still there, looking pretty original. They can take a beating.
I added one to the home last year. I’ll never go back to plain paper again.
I agree, but you still need to dry yourself lest you get diaper rash and fragile sandpaper is no good
And this is why the toilet paper under wins the debate.
The enshittification continues. Literally in this case.
I used to work in a warehouse that had toilet paper like this.
Funny thing was, it was a warehouse full of toilet paper. So there was typically a roll of something better in the bathroom, sitting on top of the dispenser.
Don't get dry on your own supply
The legendary ½ ply!
It's this kind of shit that will ultimately motivate me to unionize.
this is what it takes? the fact that a union can increase you pay and get you a bunch of extra vacation time wasn't appealing enough?
"Nope. Give me toilet paper or give me death!"
That just means people will use more of it.
Don't you wanna get in touch with your inner self?
You have to layer the individual plys yourself. It's a build your own toilet paper kit.
My friends, I would like to share a story with you.
August 2023. Afternoon. I am sitting at my desk in my office. The tell tale signs of something brewing begin to make themselves known. After a time, I reluctantly acknowledge that I won't make it another 3 hours until I get home. I trudge downstairs to the less populated floor, as one does. An empty stall appears. I seat myself on the porcelain throne and an epic battle ensues. 15 minutes later the moment of dead arrives. I reach over to the dispenser and proceed to unroll.
Halfway through the standard multi-stage folding process, necessary to create something suitable for use, I pause. Something is different. This can't be right...this is...no, that's impossible. I look closer at the material in my hands. I rub it between thumb and index finger. I stare in disbelief. This is soft, comfortable, 2 ply material! Gods be praised! I proceed to give myself a royal treatment; the cleanest, most wonderful experience! I feel like a king as I wash my hands and return to my desk.
I dare not speak of this to anyone, for fear the mistake will be discovered. Over the next few weeks, I make several returns trips to the same location and am treated to the same royal cleaning. Life is good!
October. I have grown complacent in my comfort over the intervening weeks. One fateful day I make the trip downstairs, now fully expecting to do business in comfort. Post excursion I reach over, my fingers make contact with something akin to sandpaper. My hand freezes and my heart drops. The most wonderful 2 ply material is gone, replaced with the old standard rough, semi transparent tissue that always results in rectal bleeding. I curl over into a sitting fetal position and morn the loss of my comfy companion. Perhaps I shed a single tear, or cry or in pain, the memory is too traumatic to recall clearly now.
Six weeks later. Was it all a dream? Did I imagine the 2 ply material from heaven? I don't think so, but it has not returned. Maybe, against all hope, it will return in the future. Only time will tell.
TL;DR - my office had 2 ply toilet paper for a few weeks and it was the most amazing thing ever.
If you breathe on it wrong it'll tear a hole right through it. Hope there's soap
It actually took great care to pull out enough for the picture. I typically can't extract more than one (1) thin square of tissue at a time
I've heard of single-ply, but this is more like 0.25-ply
So you need to use lots of extra time to wipe your ass? Sounds like a reasonable business decision.
Make policy first, don’t ever measure the effects.
shareholder-ply
The key is not to pull the toilet paper itself, but press on the roll to turn it as you carefully draw out the toilet paper with the other hand.
Source: I once worked for a really bad travel insurance company that used the same toilet paper supplier.
Believe me, I wish I could, but the hood on the dispenser prohibits this approach
A prostate exam with every wipe
Bro just pull out a half km of it and fold it up
It is so thin that it crumbles upon the slightest pull
It was a monumental task getting enough to come out for the picture
You should see/try socialist/communist toilet paper. Not only is it thin like this, it will also no-so-gently exfoliate your anus.
Source: Cuban resorts and lived experience in the former Soviet Union during the 80’s and early 90’s.
More like totalitarian toilet paper
Real stateless, classless societies could probably come up with something less barbaric than smearing your asshole with earth-destroying lumber
Missed opportunity for toiletarian paper
Traveling with school to Poland and Czechia in the late 90s we were told to always bring our own TP if using public restrooms. Not because of the quality, as much as because of the non-existence, of TP.
30 teens were rolling into Poland each with at least one roll of TP in the luggage. No one had to use it.
When I studied in China I was always reminded to take a tp roll with me
Once I forgot, and I realized that even in a KFC the tp was missing in the toilet
indeed as a communist myself i dont even use toilet paper i have a bidet
Am I the only one around here that just wads up an adequate amount, based on thickness? Even the cheapest of toilet paper is never an issue with this method.
While that negates the poke through factor, you are still wiping your anoos with fine sand paper.
Agreed. I highly recommend a bidet. Feels so gross without one. But this works in a...... Pinch
You realize everyone in the office has very recently just touched their own poop. Even management cant put a positive spin on that. You need better TP.
Ain't nobody single-sheeting paper that thin.
I would start bringing my own toilet paper.
Or would check out the toilets on the floor where the management offices are.
And reward their shittiness by buying your own paper?
Just keep unrolling all of it into the toilet and flushing. Let it clog up. If management makes a stink say you have ibs or some health issue and with the tp so thin you just end up going through alot of it for medical reasons. This isnt a battle won directly or honestly. You need government backing. It needs to shift from you vs them to them vs a larger entity of power.
That is of course if this isnt in a state or place where the government has no oversight about unfair dismissal.
Is this too much for better toilet paper? No. Fuckem. Tp is cheap they are cutring corners in the wrong places. If a business cant afford standard toilet paper they have no right existing. If they are in the red but operating, they can afford tp. If they are doing good, they can afford tp. If there are bonuses going to literally any staff member, they can afford to buy tp. Theres no scenario where its ok that my fingers slip through these rice papers and i get shit under my fingernails.
If your colleague had just scooped shit under their fingernails and proceeded to literally clean the shit our of their hands for the next ten minutes, would you still feel comferable shaking their hands? Now imagine that happening to each and every one of your colleagues. Are they all gonna wash their hands for 10 minutes?
If i worked here I would take a fucking black light to the kitchen to scare the biggest karens/loadmouths jn the company. Scare the living shit out of them. Make them sick. Let THEM run to HR. Let health and safety get involved.
This is the kind of place that says we are a family but then you gotta bring your own fuckin ass wipes
It's not that serious dude
"Hey everyone! He's got shit under his fingernails!"
At least that wasn't an essay.
Yeah
Not for the anuses in charge, though.
I work security at a college currently. The president has their own personal bathroom with their own tp. I swapped it out with the shit I gotta use more than once.
Penny wise pound foolish. The only way not to go through the paper is to go through the rolls.
Looks like the office version of anti-homeless architecture. Most likely intended to serve the same purpose.
I'm becoming less convinced feudalism ever actually ended...
hopefully the AI will treat our corporate backsides better
Obviously unpopular opinion, but I prefer one ply. The fluffy stuff always leaves lint which I think is pretty gross. I also find it more adjustable, like maybe I only need one square to wipe up a little toothpaste but I can also use three feet to wipe my ass.
I will die on this hill
Ok so I prefer 1-ply for the same reason on those 1000 sheet rolls, but ... look at it. One-ply isn't the issue with this tissue. This is at another level.
Splinter in your sphincter?
wart on your tart?
ignoramus sands his anus?
If I have to, over the course of three to five minutes, origami together an elaborate construct of translucent bullshit in order to get a single wipes worth of toilet paper it will ruin my fucking week. If it still fails, which it has before, I will keep the trauma in my mind for a month before I can bury it under something worse. I would wipe my ass with a shower towel if they were dispensed in appropriately sized strips.
I will die on an adjacent hill.
Except this isn't 1 ply toilet paper, it's 1/2 ply 300 grit sand paper
You should give the Charmin Strong a try if you haven't. I hate the soft and fluffy ones as they leave lint like you said. I've never had an issue like that with the strong.
Only the cheap fluffy stuff leaves lint. I've got all kinds of digestive problems and I use a lot of toilet paper. I would definitely know. But I buy the good stuff (Cottonelle is the best, by the way).
how do you know it leaves fluff?
I do wash my ass in the shower
We were in a hotel in Niagara Falls earlier this year and it had toilet paper like that in the room. We went out and got real toilet paper pretty quickly.
What gives, Canada? I thought you guys were better than us.
You were in Niagara Falls. NF is known as one of the shittiest (pun very much intended) Canadian cities.
Fair.
That's bananus
I prefer this one over the sandpaper that many place use. You just fold it and it's softer
1/4 ply?
One sixteenth imagination.
My work switched to a double ply... instantly the toilets got clogged. GM blamed it on women's sanitary products. I have half a mind to lead our own little protracted people's war against him until the plumbing gets fixed.
Did only women’s bathrooms get clogged?
That's not necessarily a clue. The pipes all eventually merge together. Whatever is causing the clog could be from anywhere upstream.
Yikes....not even Orphanage-Grade
Thin toilet paper is one thing, just use more layers.
Narrow toilet paper is another. Fuck places that use non-standard width toilet paper.
Thin toilet paper is also usually quite coarse, so just using more still isn't fantastic.
Yeah but the more layers you use, the less chance you have of deflowering yourself.
Don’t get me started on how coddled the modern anus is.
Your name implies a bias toward the lack of value with regard to the well-being of the modern anus.
That's terrible and what's sad is that its likely not even cheaper if you factor in how much is used.
Looks like you’re going to ‘get in touch with your inner self’.
As a kid, I remember when the schools used to have that paper that literally was paper and on one side being shiny. Shit used to literally smear on the shiny side. I don't think it actually exists anymore.
I know exactly what you're talking about because we had that too. It was like waxed paper, and it dispensed by the square
For me it was only by the square because the dispenser was jammed.
Yep, and if you folded it, the little pointy edges would lacerate your tender bits.
Hah, yes!
How much do we value our employees? Just go take a dump.
I don’t shit at work. Now, back in the day when I had my own private bathroom in my office (luck of the draw), I never shit at home.
I got paid 5.50 an hour (was shitty money even then, but a man could eat) to shit there, and by Krishna I was gonna shit there.
One day the boss said, “I don’t pay you to poop.” And I said, “Bud, you’ve paid me for every shit I’ve taken for the last four years. I’d like to take a moment to thank you while we’re on the subject.”
He was not amused haha.
I would just have said "For 5.50 an hour I'm not paid enough to care"
I'm so thankful I didn't live in ancient Rome
reminds me seinfeld episode, where Elaine want a a square, but the woman in the other stall says "I can't spare a square. I don't have a square to spare."
I would not have spared a square.
One side: 80 grit The other side: high gloss
Still better than 0.5 ply toilet paper schools use.
I was in a group that traveled the country and stayed in school gyms over the summer. I can tell you, the worst school bathroom I had to poop in had a combination of all the worst things:
The toilet paper came out one piece at a time, like a napkin box at a restaurant but facing down. It was also this super thin ply.
The "stalls" were actually just small walls that went up to your shoulder (when sitting) and forward to your knees (when sitting).
They had a mirror running the full wall opposite the "stalls," so you had nothing to look at but the wall of dudes pooping or furiously pulling individual tissues of tp out.
AT A HIGH SCHOOL. That shit should be considered abuse. I am so sorry for anyone who had to go to that bullshit school.
My high school back in the 90s had no stall doors in the boys' room. And even back then we knew it was so no one would be able to jerk off in there.
Or the 120 grit sandpaper some offices use.
This has got to be where the idea for transparent wood came from...
What you're holding there is Prototype-0
Scientist with clipboard browsing Lemmy
"Sir, he's found it!"
"LinkOpensChest_wave....you magnificent bastard..."
1/8th ply
That TP looks great for removing the static from between your cheeks.
Shitty toilet paper buddy!
My sibling in arse paper!
I think I'd rather just use my hand. At least it'll be softer.
Use the whole roll. They're the ones purchasing it.
Instant shitfinger https://i.imgur.com/NKF8DYW.jpeg
Risky click, but it was worth it
Don't they know the story of 2-ply? https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.opb.org/article/2023/05/11/deschutes-river-oregon-poo-patrol-two-ply-outhouse-cleaner/%3foutputType=amp
Non-amp link: http://www.opb.org/article/2023/05/11/deschutes-river-oregon-poo-patrol-two-ply-outhouse-cleaner/
"Quality" and "two-ply" should rarely be put next to each other though.
Clip your finger nails before your finger breaks through that and you scrape clean your bum hole.
Just install a bidet until they ask
When you need a piece of tp the length of a CVS receipt
That's military grade single ply right there. https://youtu.be/f6HuAhJ0k5E?si=BucLnrDAhgJol_OC
Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
https://piped.video/f6HuAhJ0k5E?si=BucLnrDAhgJol_OC
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.
finger pokes through surprise buttseks
Just use the hand towels.
“John Wayne Toilet Paper: don’t take shit off nobody.”
Rough, and tough, and don't take no shit!
Just use a massive amount and if it keeps blocking the loo then oh well when the cheap paper causes too much cost then they might look into better quality stuff.
I don't even know where they find this stuff. I've been broke as a mf joke and had to buy toilet paper from the dollar Tree, which was luxurious quality compared to this.
Sysco
Just start shitting in the sink.
Guess so you don't take some of it home. I personally think this is bodily injury.
At least your holder is still assembled properly. People at my job take the roll holder, yank it half out of the box, and just leave it in that mangled state.
There is this famous advertisement for toilet paper that goes 'is your washroom breeding bolsjewists?'
And yes, yes it is
If you're not breeding Bolsheviks in your washroom, then are you really living?
Look, I get it that it's cool to rag on a company for being cheap and short sighted but this toilet paper is not bought to save money. They know you use more. It's bought because thin toilet paper breaks down quickly in water, meaning rather than needing a plumber to wrestle your turd nest out of the pipes with a snake, they can hang an out of order sign on the stall for a shift and try flushing again once the "toilet paper" has completely dissolved.
Someone else explained this too. It's still mildly infuriating when you have to use it. Can't even pull it out without it breaking before there's enough tissue for the job because of how the dispenser is designed.
Walmart's new paperstock for the bathroom I feel is like this, it's so cheap
This makes me so upset.
Trump vs Biden? More like tissue vs bidet
Feels like I wipe with nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!
You do realise this role is double layered and this is just half the thickness because it's one layer?
It happens all the time to the TP at my work
I know the phenomenon you're talking about, but this is not that
Woah, I think the best thing for you to do is waste as much of it as possible to where it's cost inefficient to buy the worse quality roll.
People unraveling one ply so it starts unraveling the entire roll like opening up a fruit by the foot from the wrong side.
Made out of silk!
RIP you butt
Get your coworkers to join you in using the nearest fast food restaurant whenever you need to use the restroom. When management sees everyone constantly cycling through the front door, they may get a clue.
Capitalism is why you have toilet paper in the first place.
Toilet paper was invented in the 15th century. Capitalism in the 16th. Explains a lot actually..
True, in a better system, we'd have superior solutions to posterior cleaning than the barbaric, wasteful method of using paper
Edit: and better autocorrect as well
*than
You can move to North Korea and experience all the glory of a better system today!
Nah, I think I'll just move back to the reservation instead
Why trade one genocidal state for another?