Doing the important work

ickplant@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 782 points –
180

Learn to wrap your burritos you suckface food noob.

So, skill issue?

100%. I've never had this happen to me. It's not even really that hard to get the hang of wrapping a burrito.

Wrapping no but it is hard to get the amount of innards right. I’m just too excited to eat all those good guts. But then I have a burrito bowl, oh well.

are you gatekeeping burritos 😳

This is only a problem if you can't roll a burrito...

and for the gluttons who overstuff their burritos so they're difficult to keep closed.

It's more a problem of the quality of the tortilla in my experience. With a halfway decent tortilla, I have no problems. Some grocery store tortillas are too stiff and don't stick to themselves in the slightest. You can masterfully roll them, but the moment your grip loosens, it all turns to chaos.

Yeah you have to heat up the shell a little. Even the barrel-scraping Target store brand burritos can work if you steam/nuke them the right amount.

The amount of cracking in that pic indicates they took that shell right out of the fridge and rolled.

Tell that to every Mexican joint nearby that stuffs their burritos so full the moment you fork into it they explode in a overly soapy mess from all the cilantro.

Who cares if a fork tier burrito stays closed or not? It’s already on a plate.

The entire thread conversation is clearly not about plated burritos.

Well, if you were eating it with a fork anyway the I don't see the problem... A lot of Mexican places (as opposed to Tex Mex) will also pou salsa or queso or something over the burrito, which then obviously requires a fork, but it's also different from the burrito pictured.

And you know you can just ask them not to put any cilantro on? It's a garnish that typically isn't added until the very end and a lot of people can't stand the stuff, they probably won't mind leaving it off

You'd be gob smacked about how much cilantro goes into every part of a Mexican dish lol.

It's basically asking some restaurants to make fresh meat, fresh queso, and fresh vegetable mix from scratch. Not going to happen lol.

So do you use a fork or a spoon?

Neither? The whole point of a burrito, at least one of these style of burrito that isn't swimming in some kind of sauce, is that it holds together well enough that you can eat it while holding it in your hand without making a mess. If it's poorly wrapped then yeah it'll come apart and you might want a plate and flatware to finish the job.

When someone says their burritos won't stay shut I immediately know that they don't know what they're doing.

I bought a master lock for my burrito, it can be opened with another burrito.

This is the burrito picking lawyer and what I have for you today is delicious!

I've picked like 10 locks since Christmas. Lpl and McNally have created a menace.

Is this a common problem? I've almost never had a burrito fall apart on me unless it outright rips--I once made the mistake of ordering a burrito in Scotland, and that was pretty formless, but it was also less a burrito and more an embarrassment hiding under an ill-fitting tortilla.

My general rule of thumb is that I don’t eat Mexican food in places where there aren’t many Mexican people.

That's easy for you to say, but some of us like burritos and live in Europe!

And yes, you CAN get good Mexican food here. Nowhere near as good as in the US near the border, of course, but MUCH better than in the worst US places for it like idunno, North Carolina or Alaska or some such 🤷

Utah used to be partly in Mexico territory before the recent unpleasantness and it has many good Mexican restaurants.

Yup, made that mistake once while living in Vermont many years ago. As someone who grew up in socal, it was brutal.

I bet you didn’t know the burrito was invented in America.

Not true. Small donkeys existed for millions of years before the United States 😛

Mission style burritos aren't particularly Mexican, though. But they also shouldn't be particularly hard to eat.

I know next to nothing about Hispanic food in general, but I've gotten a few food truck burritos in southern California and it opening was not on my list of concerns.

For me, I tend to overstuff my burrito innards. As a result, I’m not able to fold in the ends over the heaping pile of innards so this tape would actually help me get that coveted wrap action without making me address my lack of self control.

Pan-sear your burritos shut.

If you are still having a hard time, a thin layer of cheese to form a crust seal never fails

At work we just lick one edge of the tortilla like an envelope before we serve it

Cheese in the seam or cheese in pan and burrito on top?

Depends on the type of burrito and ingredients. For breakfast burritos I put cream cheese in them, and then smear a bit on the inside seam and it works well to glue it shut. For a texmex style burrito you could use a bit of refried beans, or sour cream. If you're wearing your burrito you can just sprinkle a bit of shredded cheese of any kind in the seam and when the cheese melts it'll hold it closed.

If I'm wearing the burrito, I'll usually just hold it shut!

I like to crisp up my burrito in a pan after I roll it. if you brown the side with the opening first then the juices trying to escape soften up the tortilla enough to get cooked together. It's like welding a burrito shut.

That's no longer a burrito. That's a chimmichanga.

Chimichangas are deep fried

Were just talking about a quick sear to seal the burrito shut

This is in a dry pan, so no oil. A toasted sandwich is still a sandwich. Putting your burrito in a hot pan/griddle does not change it being a burrito

Counterpoint: If you sear a sandwich shut you have a panini.

Wouldn't your hand work really well to keep the burrito closed while you're eating it?

But that's like a two-hand job now, and I've got this drink.

Two hand jobs and a drink? Sounds like you don't mind making a mess.

Well, I can do it one-handed for like a minute while I'm staying hydrated. Cleanup afterwards is a given anyways.

Why not use a small piece of Nori (the salty Sushi seaweed) and moisten it up with water and use that?

I did this for years

Because I have opposable thumbs and have successfully eaten thousands of burritos without tape.

You're telling me this ain't nori? Why.

I didn't realise the Wolves fullback would be on lemmy, but I don't think its surprising that he would tell you this

nori sticks to itself like Saran wrap sticks to itself, but would nori stick to a tortilla?

If it’s too wet it might need some time to dry, moist is best. Like this dry moist state when your laundry is tumble-dried not quite to your liking.

On this episode of redundant inventions that already have a better solution...

"Edible" does not mean "good".

The sticker on most fruits sold in American grocery stores that contains a bar code is nominally edible.

My ass is nominally edible.

I buy fruit just for the stickers. I eat the stickers and throw the fruit away. I do it on TikTok for views. I'm edgy like that.

/s those were all lies that I just made up in my head. But I'm sure it's possible someone would do that.

Uhhhhh, fuck no. Some children invented this shit back in 1999. It was on Figure it Out. How fucking dare you.

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

Figure it Out

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

Wtf Michelle Trachtenberg is in that?! I never really knew of her in those days I guess, not until Buffy onwards.

I remember an episode of figure it out on nickelodeon a long time ago that was exactly this.

YouTube

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

YouTube

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

a properly constructed burrito is wrapped in aluminum foil and can be eaten, even while walking, without making a mess.

edible tape sounds like something with useful applications, but i am sad for the people who believe burritos require this.

A proper burrito stays closed without foil, a steamed tortilla should get sticky enough.

True but sometimes the tortilla rips open and the foil provides solid backup

Kids in college found a novel problem and then developed a novel solution for fun.

Made old man make old-man grumpy comment. Indeed, burritos were wrapped so tight in foil, they would walk themselves both ways uphill to burrito school in the snow without boots.

I declare the Johns Hopkins students victorious!

These college kids working at Chipotle is what got us into this mess!

God damned gen z ruining another industry.

there were still some industries not already ruined by millennials?

Yeah, but now I can't open it up to make sure that no one cummed in my burrito...

If your burrito doesn't stay closed, the person making your burrito had no idea what the hell they were doing. This is a Chipotle problem.

Yeah

I haven't been there in a few years but I stopped in recently and I was a bit dumbfounded when they guy burritoing up my food made it as spherical as possible

Who the fuck doesn't know how to hold a burrito?

People with mobility issues for example... Not everything is made to solve issues of fully functional people

Very true, it's mostly harmless, but people are quick to ridicule stuff without considering the useful applications for others- that if they think are dumb they can just not use. And it's usually the least annoying things. Straws, replacing cobbled sidewalks with asphalt or concrete, difficulty options in games, tab indentation, getting rid of historic trams/busses with high passenger areas, to name a few.

Corporate food has created unholy tasteless dry abominations called "tortillas". They have convinced Americans that this is what tortillas are. They have played us for absolute fools.

Real tortillas are freshly made wet dough immediately squished and cooked before forming burrito. They are delicious and sticky enough to hold on their own. It's perfect but not mass producible.

How do I find this

Pigup will probably cringe at this answer, but I found uncooked tortillas at the grocery store before. Definitely better than mission tortillas.

That's not a burrito, that's a clutch purse. Learn how to roll a burrito.

That looks like disgusting mold

I thought it said "invisible" tape, and I thought that was the dumbest idea ever.

I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit Wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit Wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit I wouldn't have got half of it Like, I'm okay with small mistakes If you've got no more chicken, I'll take pork But I'll blow my dad before I eat a burrito with a fork

Hol' up, you hating on wet burritos? They're glorious.

I smoked pot with Johnny Hopkins.

It was Johnny Hopkins and Sloan Kettering. And they were blazing that shit up every day.

K and an E and a T and a T

E and an R and an I N G

T and an O and a W N

Kettering Town FC!

Shout out to the K-Town massive and the Weetabix crew

I haven't perfected the wrap, but I found toasting it slightly after wrapping holds it together and tastes better

Wait...

It's actually called Johns Hopkins? I thought it was John Hopkins and people were pluaralizing John in a weird attempt to be funny

Johns Hopkins University is named after the guy that funded it at the beginning, Johns Hopkins. He was named after his grandfather, Johns Hopkins, whose first name was his mother's last name.

So Johns Hopkins has two last names, but one of them is a first name.

Looks like a strip of mold. No thanks.

That also looks like the saddest burrito, like it's been kept in a cage.

🎶 wouldn't a got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit🎶

Wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit

The amount of people criticizing this is kind of crazy.

Even though this isn't needed for wrapping burritos, it probably could be used somewhere. It's a neat idea. I wonder how the edible tape is to eat though. Somehow the sticky nature seems like it'd be off-putting.

If there’s one thing i’ve noticed about lemmy it’s that people here really like finding things to complain about

If there’s one thing i’ve noticed about lemmy the internet it’s that people here really like finding things to complain about

FTFY

If it's bakeable, it'd be great for patching up my terrible pizone sealing!

Wow, I must be taking for granted the burrito jockeys in my city-- who has this problem?

Granted, that image looks like they were trying to make a burrito out of flat bread or some shit, does not look right.

Panini press after wrapping it. It's a game changer.

It holds everything together and gives you a crispy tortilla. All around a superior experience.

This goes against the spirit of burrito eating. The mess is part of the fun.

Maybe they can use that tape to keep their mouth shut so none of us need to listen to them

why? do they not have hands? what a fucking waste of research dollars.

What do you expect food scientists to do?

Not invent food things?