What weird food or dishes do you eat regularly at home that you would never serve to someone else?

Mister Neon@lemmy.world to Asklemmy@lemmy.ml – 271 points –

I regularly bake sweet potatoes then add plain yogurt, salted peanuts, feta, nutritional yeast, and drown it in hot sauce. The dish has no name nor should it ever see the light of day. What goblin mode meals do you guys eat?

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Y’all are horrifying. That’s all I came here to say.

I'd love to answer OP, but that description somehow made me forget everything I've ever eaten.

And here I am, bookmarking this post.. I have meals planned for the next 3 weeks!

I keep a bouquet of dry pasta on my desk that I absentmindedly munch on while I work.

Sometimes I'll eat a whole head of cabbage over a day peeling it leaf by leaf.

Instant noodles, peanut butter, and sriracha. Crack an egg in near the end.

It's actually pretty close to pad thai, but screams of struggle meal

Yeah I definitely started relying on peanut proteins during my years of unemployment.

Try chopping up a green onion and throwing that in. White bit at the beginning of the boil and the green bits at the end. They're extremely cheap.

Green onions aren't cheap everywhere.

i only ever get green onions a few weeks after buying an onion that i didn't get around to cooking.

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You're probably right. I have never personally seen them more expensive than like $1.25 for a half dozen.

Frugal tip: You can get a lot more life out of green onions by setting them in a jar of water. Trim what you need from the ends, and the plant will grow probably 3-4 times before you need to replace it.

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I wouldn't serve instant noodles to guests either, but you have the gourmet version there.

Update: This was pretty tasty. I'll probably use just a spoonful of PB next time. I used half the ramen seasoning packet and added a little fish sauce as well. Scallions would definitely kick it up a notch, but that involves significantly more work.

We do the same thing! Had it yesterday for breakfast. We've been buying Ramen packs from Costco that are pretty spicy so we've been skipping the Sriracha though.

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Toasted bread with blue cheese, a fried egg, hot sauce and maple syrup on top.

Sounds like something I'd pay 16$ to have served by a malnourished hipster on a cutting board to a table lit by a bar bulb as an appetizer.

This sounded really good... until the maple syrup thing. Why? Why?!

Don't get me wrong. Maple syrup is great. On pancakes or so, but this? This truly is an abomination.

Cause there's nothing quite like the combination of savoury, salty, spicy and sweet.
Other favorites of mine are chocolate chili, and my famous habanero honey salad dressing.

I get that mixing thing, although it's virtually non-existent in my country's cuisine. But still, this one doesn't feel right at all.

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I used to work at a bakery and my favourite thing to do was bring home a fresh baguette and eat it with blue cheese.

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Hobo salad: Canned kidney beans, canned sweetcorn, canned tuna, salad dressing. If I'm feeling fancy/not lazy I'll add some chopped shallots or scallions.

my special treat that my partner hates for me to make but gobbles up bowls of: White Rice, Ground Beef, and Cream of Mushroom soup (campbells can). White rice like you like it, Ground the beef and salt generously after draining grease (helps the beef pop out more in the taste), then I usually do half of the milk called for with the soup.

Bed of RIce in a bowl, ground beef on top, then pour the cream of mushroom soup on it. Such a warm and crazy good taste but I get looks whenever I bring it up so I don't make it that often unless it's just me for a few days.

That does sound really good and sort of appropriate, like a curried beef or something. Idk why anybody gives you a look lol it's a protein in sauce served over rice, what's even weird about it?

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I used to eat this all the time, but with instant mash. It looks like vomit, but it is delicious. ❤️

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I bake a mean creamy chicken (like you'd find in a pot pie) but, for whatever fucking reason, I absolutely love that flavor spliced with white vinegar. I have a deep love of pushing tangy sour to the border of spiciness.

A strong acidic zing is missing from a lot of dishes.

Generally I keep white vinegar around specifically for its chemical properties rather than its flavor, though.

When I'm home alone, I'll sometimes revert to my "first apartment" mood and cook spaghetti with Campbell tomato soup in it, added with sautéed onions, mushrooms, hotdog sausages, and add cheese in it.

Is probably better than the crappiest thing I could come up with, but I wouldn't serve that too an adult. But maybe to children.

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I haven't had this in a while but one if my lazy bachelor meals was baked potatoes with kim chee and sour cream.

There's a banked potato spot in my city that sells just baked potatoes with like 50 variations on the menu. You can get a baked potato topped with anything from chilly to brisket, vegetables, etc

Pasta with ketchup instead of tomato sauce

Rice with ketchup

Ketchup with ketchup

I love ketchup

Try filipino ketchup. Its made with banana apparently, i would never have known

That sounds amazing but alas, bananas and plantains make my stomach hurt, so I avoid anything related.

I grew up with pasta and ketchup at home.
It was my favourite dish.

From one ketchup connoisseur to another, I started with and continue to eat crackers, cheese, and ketchup. Saltine crackers, like the crappy soup kind (don't get anything fancy), Cheddar cheese (mild works but sharp is a better hit), and then whatever ketchup but I tend to do heinz or store brands since it tends to have more of a vinegary taste.

Sandwiches with potato chips between them

That's not weird. Chips, fries, or tots can/should be in the sandwich.

Pretty much the go to UK sandwich

Add some marmite in there and you have a meal fit for a king a duke a very small earl eating.

Earlier this week I had curry on nacho chips because I made some really good curry and did not have the energy to make the actual nacho accoutrements that I had planned on doing

It was great

That sounds baller and something you'd find in Texas hill country.

I live in Scotland so, uhh... guess we've got the hills and a general attitude towards the bigger country we're a part of? Not a lot else in common, but still

Oh man, that reminds me of a place near me that does palak paneer fries. It's like Indian poutine. Amazing.

Just tried a new Indian place near me that has masala fries and poutine on the menu

Have you tried palak paneer pizza? It might be a Baltimore thing. So good.

That is relevant to my interests. I'll have to pay a visit to Baltimore.

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Cold baked beans straight from the tin, eaten with a spoon. I'm grinning thinking of my dinner guests' faces as they contemplate their tins.

Corned beef hash right out of the can is alarmingly close to dog food.

And better than it has any right to be.

Pan-fried canned chick peas with black pepper, butter, oregano, basil, and sometimes paprika, chili powder, and hot sauce if I want some kick.

I cook it when I'm in a rush or tired, it's done in 10-15 minutes, fills me up, and is packed with good protein.

But I would never feed it to anybody else, it's lazy bro/fitness food lol.

It sounds pretty good actually

I mean, I like it lol, but I love chickpeas, I would almost eat them raw from the can.

If you're eating them that regularly, it may be worth the savings to buy them dry, and soak overnight before cooking them. I dunno. It is worth it for me.

I buy them in bulk by the can at a pretty good price already, but I'll look into that, thanks!

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I roast seasoned chickpeas for snacking like that. I'll top pan fried chickpeas with leftover rice and carrot then let those steam up with the lid on. It helps contain popping beans too lol

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I knew someone who would eat a tomato for dinner with a few slices of carrots. Nothing baked, just a plain uncut tomato and slices of carrots.

I'm talking a functionnal human being, knowing the concept of cooking and the ability to walk to their kitchen with such a "dish" as they would call it. Not vegetarian either. They did like meat and whatnot. Saddest "meal" I've ever had the horror to lay my eyes upon.

the carrots get sliced but the tomatoes is left whole???

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I don’t care much about the what but the how. Biting into a whole tomato WILL make a mess. Simply cutting it in half greatly reduces the chance of that. If they already had a knife why not use it on the tomato. People are weird.

I'm a whole tomato-eater, and there is a way to eat them without being messy. The mess is divided into chambers, and you basically go one chamber at a time, suck out the mess in the chamber and then move on to the next.

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I was thinking that too, but maybe it was one of those hard, white-on-the-inside, unripe tomatoes.

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If you are on a diet, this meal has very few kilojoules/calories. Fewer than a single slice of bread.

Wasn't on a diet. Thankfully, they ate more during lunch and didn't have any health issues due to eating weirdly but those "meals" were something else..

Honestly, can relate! Had a month-long period when all I craved were carrot and white onion salads with a tiny pinch of salt, a load of ground black pepper, and drowned in vinegar. Used to chop the carrots down into tiny strips.

In your case, you added something, it was a salad with pepper and salt during a time where you were craving something in particular.

What was crazy to me about the story I told was the poor tomato and carrots were unseasoned, bland, resting in the saddest plate I've yet to encounter, while the person eating it was considering what was in front of them a meal.

(Not sure why someone would downvote you for your comment by the way)

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I put ketchup on bread and microwave it

...i think i ate that labelled as 'pizza' on the riverwalk in 1988, but it may have had easy-cheese sprayed on top first...

Sometimes when I'm craving chicken wings but don't want to spend the money, I just eat toast dipped in wing sauce. It actually scratches the itch.

My invented dish I call "Scrumpy". You take fries or fried potatoes, equal amount lettuce broken up like for a salad, chicken, then top it with chicken or beef gravy and chopped green onions. To really take up the indulgence level you can add southern hot sauce like Frank's, and some Cajun seasoning.

It started because of my great love of poutine, and wondering how I could make it into a healthier full meal. I've done a million variations on it, too. Stir fried cabbage and onion instead of lettuce. Corned beef instead of chicken. Adding a fried egg on top... Very flexible weeknight meal.

I would absolutely serve this to someone if it ever came up, but it never has.

Frank's is not a southern hot sauce.

You're saying it's from New York City?

NEW YORK CITY?!?!

Noted, thanks! What do I call that style then? I thought it was southern style.

You might call it "Buffalo style" since it's commonly the primary component of Buffalo sauce.

Tabasco and Crystal are classic southern hot sauces.

I'll show my ignorance here, too, because I thought crystal was a similar flavor. That's actually why I said southern style.

Crystal has a less harsh flavor than Tabasco and Frank's. They're all similar, of course, but there are subtle variations; thus, in my opinion, they each have different applications.

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Ok this I sort of understand because I used to make Nacho Potatoes. Nacho Potatoes are baked potatoes but with the toppings of nachos. Lettuce is essential because it gives a crunch that enhances the texture of the dish.

Nacho up your fries, include full trimmings.

I’ve had this at pubs (in the US). It was called “Irish Nachos.” They were pretty tasty.

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Fresh tomato and dry roasted peanuts.

Actually I might try it on someone ...

I'm trying to envision this. Is the tomato sliced or diced? Are the peanuts whole or crushed? Is this a spoon dish or do you use your hands?

Either slices cut in half or diced and the peanuts whole, in separate dishes. A half mouthful of peanuts followed by a half mouthful of tomato. Never mix the two together before eating! I prefer to use a spoon.

These are all questions I didn't know I had. OP, please indulge us!

Snack pasta (farfalle are the best). No cooking, just open the package and munch the raw pasta. I like how crispy it is.

I didn't know anyone else did this. I was just snacking on some bucatini. I recommend it! Long thin tubes of pasta that break up easily and have no risk of sharp bits.

I think it is a result of growing up in an "ingredient household". We did not stock snacks, and I was always too lazy to make a meal.

My biggest snack when I was a kid (and I sometimes still do this at 28) was dry ramen packets. I love crunching the noodles and the texture they have. And I keep the flavor powder for the next time I actually cool them, for extra flavor.

Guacamole with cottage cheese. The Polish side of my family loves it, but I wouldn't dare add it to my guac when making it for the Mexican half of my family.

...my wife got some kind of weird notion that cottage cheese makes good tacos or enchiladas and she's soooo wrong but i don't have the heart to tell her...

When I'm really lazy I make spaghetti with butter and bread crumbs.

That has to be a real dish. Those ingredients are so fundamental that I would be surprised if that wasn't keeping peasants alive for the last twenty two hundred years.

The shame I feel when I make it is very real.

That feeling isn't shame, it's carbs! You just have bread and butter in a different configuration. It isn't healthy, but it is wholesome.

Yeah it's called Pasta ca'muddica and has a whole bunch of variations such as adding anchovies.

Two pieces of white bread, mayo, thick slices of tomato and a bunch of black pepper.. Not sure how terrible it is, but I don't generally serve it to others because it's very messy.

I toast my bread, then do mayo or butter, thick slices of tomato, and salt. Some pepper sometimes.

Toasted tomato open faced sandwich!

But I would serve that to guests. I don't see why not.

I would make something similar. Tomato salt pepper sourcream and potato chips(any flavour). Haven't had that in years, now in kinda want one and i have to go to the store soon

...i used to do that with a thick layer of thinly-sliced colby cheese...

Raw chickpeas. The small, black kind. I soak them overnight in cold water, and have them for breakfast along with a shot of espresso.

I got it from my dad. He used to have them with tea.

Not regularly, but my family was super poor for awhile and our delicacies then are my comfort food now.

We loved hot dog weiners in the Kraft dinner, which is a fair approximation because we couldn't afford KD back then. Ground pepper, and also ketchup when we could afford to be fully blasphemous.

Mom makes a wicked liver-and-onions, but I suspect it wasn't liver so much as tongue, as it was cheap as hell back then. My sister knows the truth and she will.not eat 'liver' again.

Blasphemy and lies, that's it.

hot dogs in Kraft Dinner

If I had a million dollars,
we wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner.

But we would eat Kraft Dinner
Of course we would, we'd just eat more
And buy really expensive ketchups with it
That's right, all the fanciest-, Dijon ketchup, mm, mm

My ex's family had this prized dish: you warm milk with pieces of bread chucked in there, add sugar. Then you put cinnamon on top.

It was this weird milky-bready cinnamon soup that actually tasted pretty great and was perfect on a cold day, or whenever she needed some TLC food

My parents had that as youth, they called it Milk Sop

...when i was a kid in puerto rico one of my friends brought a can of vienna sausages to our camp-out and i thought they were sooooo fancy, like seriously epicurean food...

...i think we ate them with little bottles of tonic water, like old canada dry with the peel-away polystyrene labels, you know, sophisticated like james bond in moonraker...

I'm surprised beef tongue was cheap over there back then.

Beef tongue here is one of those "special delicacy meat" that I usually get to eat during really fancy feasts. It's probably a pain in the ass to cook, but the texture is really something. So is beef cheek, but that's a different topic.

Toast, mayo, fried egg, salt. Then a liberal amount of Dave’s ghost pepper sauce on top, like a teaspoon.

I’m the only person I know of who will eat this specific hot sauce. Other hot sauce lovers will not touch it, because it tastes like capsaicin extract and poison. But I’m weirdly addicted to it. I own better tasting sauces but they don’t scratch the itch the right way.

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Mustard bread. I'm dead serious.

Edit to clarify: just a slice of bread with a heap of mustard rushedly spread on it. I either go for honey mustard if I'm looking for a bit of pep, or whole grain Dijon for savouring.

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Variant on your dish: bake sweet potato, add cottage cheese and eat immediately. Add sweet or savory seasonings to taste. It's not something I'd bring to share, but it's definitely not something I'll hide. As far as quick and dirty meals, it's reasonably healthy, and probably not the worst suggestion for someone who struggles to cook for themselves.

Actual goblin food: canned black olives between two slices of bread, smush down to prevent them from rolling out.

Chunky tapanade.

Yeah, a few seconds with a fork, and toasting the bread or swapping to crackers and you're basically at something that's fit to give to others again.

I ate frozen fish sticks when I was a kid. Just took em out of the freezer and gnawed on them.

I ate dry ramen blocks as a teenager.

Smash em up and it's not much different than Doritos or something. Not my go to but I've done it in a pinch

I knew so many kids that did this that I thought it must be really good or something. It was not.

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fermented shrimp paste, pickled bird eyes chili, soy sauce, fresh mangoes and plain white rice. topped with a heaping pinch of msg.

I'm sorry, pickled what now? Is it some obscure vegetable I've never heard about? Or are they like actual bird eyes like from a chicken?

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Mix 2 different instant noodle products, Carbonara Buldak and Neoguri and create a sodium overload saucy cheesy ramen. We only have it max twice a month though because it’s so high in sodium.

Refried beans, rice, sirachcha, and too much mayo. Sometimes I eat it with bread like a sad sack sandwich.

Throw a potato in whatever form you want and roll that up in flatbread. I'd eat that in a heartbeat.

rice and lentils. Bit to mundane for company.

I love rice and lentils. How do you cook/season your lentils?

I don't really have a typical. will add veggies on hand and im not very good with seasonings so I tend to use mixes so I have like a mexican blend and indian blend and such.

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idk how weird this is in terms of everything else in this thread, but peanut butter and pickles on toast is great

Spicy lettuce hotdogs! Cook them meat sticks up however you want, wrap in lettuce, place in bun. Top with ketchup and habanero Tabasco.

I've never even thought to put lettuce in a hot dog...

If someone made like a "cheeseburger" hot dog with lettuce, tomato, pickle, maybe even onion, with ketchup and possibly some mayo? I'd throw down. ETA: can't believe I forgot cheese

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Omelet composed of >60% frozen vegetables and seasoned with soy sauce.

It doesn't hold itself together at all and it looks disgusting.

Cut up tortillas, fry them with some salt, when crispy crack two or three eggs in there and scramble. I grew up eating it and while it is delicious I don't think I would serve it to guests.

...that's essentially migas: people pay restaurant money for that...

Yeah now they do and I feel kinda vindicated TBH. Back when I was a kid this dish was compared to dog food by some of my classmates and teachers, I kid you not. Maybe I still carry some of that trauma and I wouldn't serve it to guests but I will gladly cook it for me and my kid, who also loves it.

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Yum! I do this with tortilla chips crushed slightly and let them soak in the melting butter in the pan while it warms up. Same thing in reverse mostly. Delicious.

I love this, my kids do not. They do love chilaquiles, but those I make fried eggs for.

One skillet, good egg dishes. Shakshuka you might like too.

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Chips with ketchup (as a dip) and burned mozzarella in a pan, rolled up, and dipped in honey mustard.

Instant mashed potatoes with American cheese melted in, and a variety of seasonings, butter, toppings etc. It's a great, cheap way to make a bowl out of random leftovers, protein or whatever. But I wouldn't dare serve it to someone.

'quickadilla' I'll slap a tortilla on a cold pan, turn on the heat and build it right in the pan while it heats up with shredded cheese and left over meat. Takes 5 minutes and it's at least as good as Taco Bell, and actually warm and melted.

More of a meal I'd actually be willing to share, but not brag about because it's sort of a bastardization of cultures. But I'll often make a curry using Japanese curry blocks, and season chicken in a vaguely Indian style, then put it over rice. Really simple and delicious. I'm kind of proud of it but I wouldn't even know how to explain it to someone, much less actually serve it.

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Peanut butter, jelly, and Cheeto burrito.

Wheat tortilla or are you using something more exotic?

I’ve done white, wheat, and the “Extreme Wellness High Fiber Low Carb” tortillas. They’re all about the same.

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I call it the cinco de mayo revenge: Laughing Cow cheese (it’s French) melted in a tortilla.

...my mother-in-law (and wife) do that with vietnamese french bread...

Spaghetti Amoré (~$15 Serves 4-6)

  • 16oz Box of Spaghetti
  • 1lb Ground Turkey
  • 1 Can Cream Of Cheddar
  • 1 Can Cream of Mushroom
  • 1 Can Tomato Soup
  • 8oz of Shredded Mozzarella
  • Spices: salt, black pepper, poultry seasoning, onion powder, garlic powder, oregano

Start boiling your pasta water, salt the water. Meanwhile, in a skillet start cooking the ground turkey till pink is gone. Once cooked, start seasoning with above spices to taste until satisfied, then move skillet to back burner on lowest setting to keep warm.

Preheat oven to 375. Once pasta water is boiling, add spaghetti and cook per instruction until al dente. Drain pasta in a colander, then return to pot.

While pot and spaghetti are still hot, add ground turkey and 3 soup cans to the pot and stir spaghetti until soups are evenly incorporated.

Dump contents of pot into a 9x13" casserole dish, spread contents evenly in the dish, then top with mozzarella cheese.

Bake in the oven till cheese has melted (about 5-10 minutes)

Remove from oven and let cool on stove for 5 minutes. Use a spatula to cut a square and serve warm.

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...so i grew up with what we called five-way in northern kentucky, and no, it's not cincinnati chili...

  • spaghetti
  • browned ground beef (or in my case since 1989, vegetarian substitute)
  • diced onions (fresh / cold)
  • dark red kidney beans (simmered / hot)
  • grated cheddar cheese (annatto-colored)
  • ketchup

...it's all layered up on a large plate in that order, bottom-to-top so the cheese melts nicely, cut into a grid pattern with a fork and knife, and then mixed together: i don't cook it often since moving out on my own thirty-five years ago but it so hits the spot when i do...

So poor mans bolognese. I remember reading when you heat up ketchup it denatures (probably not the right word but opposite of caramelize) and loses its sweetness and becomes pasta sauce.

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Mud

Cocoa powder, sugar, bit of cream. Mix until it’s gritty from sugar, it shouldn’t be too smooth. Extra delicious if some isn’t fully mixed and there are cocoa powder chunks. It could be a topping, or an ingredient in something delicious, but no - eat the whole bowl of sweet gritty chocolatey goodness straight up.

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My so called broccoli-potato-gratin with pork neck includes quite an amount of cream, salt, bouillion cubes and cheese. My wife doesn't know and it will stay that way.

...that sounds delicious and i've been vegetarian for thirty-five years!..

Tamale pie- canned corn, chili (no beans bc blegh), canned tamales (really these are even optional despite the name of the dish), and Swiss cheese all melted together in ooey gooey goodness.

Also I love the raw dough from those biscuits in the can that pops

Sandines and kraut with mustard and caraway. I only eat it when I'm alone and have time to brush my teeth afterward. So good though and I'm full for hours.

i would absolutely try this.

i eat a LOT of kraut, probably five days a week. also enjoy sardines and mayo on toast with capers. followed by kraut, which pairs well with the salty capered dregs left in the sardine tin.

You are the Polish version of the poster who said kimchi and sardines!

Peanut butter & white onion sandwich on white bread. Lazy meal.

And at night you can visit the monster world under your bed to play with Maurice and Boy.

Dude I thought I was the only one who remembers little monsters

Fred Savage was in everything...

Yeah he was.

I have Little Monsters to thank for introducing me to Talking Heads. I hear Road to Nowhere and I'm 10 again.

Does your breath clear out a whole theater after eating that?

When I was pretty serious about powerlifting, I would wake up in the middle of the night and eat a giant spoonful of peanut butter with a big glass of milk, and then go back to bed. I certainly wouldn't offer that to a guest.

Oh man, this makes me nostalgic. I used to do powerlifting, but I don't like peanut butter, and I remember cursing that fact

Baby swiss cheese is a pretty good alternative. There are 9 grams of protein per slice, and it has enough fat to balance it out.

White bread with mustard, and those dried fried crisy onions sandwiched inside. Gets me through to next meal.

Butter beans with olives. Cover it in oregano, some garlic, some chilli flakes, and then drizzle a tiny bit of soy sauce and plenty of olive oil over the top.

It's dumb, but it's so tasty, quick, and easy.

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Not super common but commen enough and just for a snack, but I like using tortillas if there's no bread in my apartment. I use them for things like peanut butter and mayonnaise wraps and peanut butter and butter wraps.

I also sometimes use tortillas for leftovers in general, depending on the leftovers from the night before. Last time there was leftover homemade mac and cheese and catfish, I heated them and had that wrapped in a plain tortilla with nothing else for breakfast.

On the area of Mexico that I grew up in, every morning (or every other morning) you would buy fresh corn tortillas for the family. We’d make a taco out of anything.

There is a macaroni salad (with lettuce, peas, carrots, etc.) served at weddings and special events people sometimes pair it with mole sauce and add it to a taco (tortilla) - the main dish is mole with chicken and rice and beans, but people in my region would not think of a Mac and cheese taco as too strange.

My mom also used to make a canned tuna mix (mayo, tomato, onion, lime, salt and pepper) that we would pair with a tortilla and it slaps. I’ve feed this to people from the US and they came back for a second and third taco.

We also would pair a rolled up tortilla with soups (chicken, beef, fish) and used it to push the veggies and meat into a spoon while taking a bite of the part that got souped up.

Corn goes surprisingly well with both sweet/savory (mole) and salty (meats, etc). I’ve never thought of pairing it with PB, but I can see how it might work. If you were referring to flour tortillas, those tend to have a slightly sweet profile, so it seems it could work.

Uuyyyyy me acordé de los taquitos de manteca con sal el fila de las tortillas. Que delicia!

...you're a bad person and you should feel bad, but i used to like tuna casserole when i was growing up which i think is like blue-box macaroni and cheese, canned tuna, cream of mushroom soup, and crushed ruffles baked together...

...maybe?..i don't think i've eaten it since the seventies since my stepfather hated it, so i might not quite be remembering it correctly...

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Same here, a few more tips for tortillas.

Stack two tortillas and use for pizza crust.

Brown, brown beef, chopped up small and put in freezer. To use as a topping for burritos.

Layer the tortilla with refied beans. Add the frozen ground beef and cheese. Throw in a toaster oven for about five minutes and Add sauce. For a perfect burrito Or pizza.

Super easy and quick meal or snack.

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Microwaved pepperoni chips.

Put pepperoni on a plate with some paper towels, microwave for one minute. The apartment will smell either heavenly or sickening for the next hour, depending on how much you like pepperoni.

Works with any sliced sausage really

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Cream of wheat but then you put a gloop of fruit yoghurt on top. Delicious probiotic fruit gruel.

2nd place goes to microwaved potato

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Take a sweet bun that has a curd filling, cut it in half like a burger bun. Spread cream cheese on both sides. Add ham, cucumber, salad leaf. Serve with tarkhuna. This recipe might doxx me to my friends, because I always say to try it but nobody ever does.

I make a meaty spaghetti sauce with various spices, but I cook the ground beef in the pan at a low simmer for about 2hrs before I even add the tomato sauce, in order for those spices to penetrate the meat.

I call it a nuclear time bomb because it tastes totally normal - very delicious, even - but about 10-15 minutes in, you are reaching for a hand towel to wipe away the sweat which is quite literally dripping off of you. And you have felt NONE of the hot spices on your tongue.

A much quicker dish involves Cæsar dressing, which I add copious amounts of garlic powder to (4-5 tablespoons), then prevent the dressing from solidifying by adding lemon juice, then wrapping up with freshly ground garlic. As in, a paste, *not chopped or minced._ For a salad using a single head of Romaine, the paste alone uses 15-30 garlic cloves depending on size. And this is on top of the garlic powder. Tastes amazing, but it can get garlicky enough to be barely edible. Think the same kind of burn when chewing down on a fresh raw clove. I sometimes get an “addictive overwhelming thirst” for this garlicky dish that has me gorging on it almost exclusively for an entire week.

Germany has brands of bottled curry sauce that are great on white rice.

I've never seen them in the US... but mayonnaise and curry powder is close enough.

Ranch noodles, though, I've served to guests all the time. It is exactly what it sounds like. You squirt ranch dressing all over fresh elbow / corkscrew pasta, and ideally cool overnight. It's two-ingredient pasta salad. Ranch is buttermilk, garlic, dill, and a bunch of other spices. Great as a side. Add pepper.

I made a face reading that until you said "ideally cool overnight" and it immediately sounded like I want to try it as a pasta salad.

I blend 2 eggs with a banana, and I fry it as if it's a pancake, with butter. It doesn't hold together, so it keeps coming out as if it's weird scrambled eggs. But it's delicious, the healthiest kind of pancake (with a drop of raw honey afterwards).

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It's bending the rules, since it's a camping meal, but I have made it at home, too, since it makes a great depression meal. I got it from backpackers, who I'm pretty sure got it from prison inmates:

The Ramen Bomb.

Cook a crushed up packet of instant ramen noodles, maybe with a little more water than usual. Add like half a packet of instant mashed potatoes. You can also add a protein, like... chopped up Spam. Maybe some hot sauce or other fixings if you're feeling fancy.

I hated how much I enjoyed it. Granted, that was when I was really tired and hungry, but that hit the spot.

Also, I've heard meals like the ones in this thread affectionately referred to as "glop," by a fellow glop-enjoyer.

Another delicious hit - chocolate sandwiches!

Two slices of white bread, fill sandwich generously with hot chocolate mix. Deliciously dry and chocolatey.

Mine would probably be my ghetto breakfast sandwiches. I usually throw a little shredded cheese, diced onion, and hot peppers into a coffee mug and crack and egg into it and then scramble it. Microwave that for a min while i toast an English muffin or bagel. Then put it together with maybe a thin slice of ham. Excellent breakfast sandwich. People think I'm nuts for making the eggs in a microwave, but it works well, has an easy cleanup, and is super quick in the mornings before work.

Your dish is called a jacket potato if I understand you right. What I like to do is boil rice then mix it with peanut butter and sriracha and just eat that like it is.

Lutefisk. Served with heavy cream and melted butter. And Potato Klub as a side.

I leave it the reader to google it - if they dare.

Raw tagliatelle. I love picking it apart and eating it, it has a satisfying crunch, especially when pieces directly overlap, but I'd be silly to just up and serve a plate of raw tagliatelle to someone 😂

Those sweet potatoes are close to Grandma Appalachia's traditional preparation that she got from a recipe her Irish aunt tore out of a magazine back in the 70s, but hers included a hoppy beer to balance the hot sauce

Raw jello powder, add a dribble of water to make part of it a super thick paste.

Blue cheese, and sweet condensed milk dip with tortilla chips.

Note: I might have more, but just woke up from a nightmare and its 2:30am. Will try to come back later.

Grits with canned tuna.

Grits with chili paste, fried egg, pork fu.

Sandwich of sardines and mayonnaise and raw onion.

OP, my sweet potato lunch is a Stokes Purple one frozen then baked, topped with goat cheese, pepitas, olive oil and fancy salt. I don't even like sweet potatoes but like that there's enough salty/sharp stuff

I don't even like sweet potatoes but like that there's enough salty/sharp stuff

I like sweet potatoes, but I get you. I don't understand this thing where people add marshmallows. It's already sweet! Now, bake a sweet potato, mash it, and add a little bit of salt and some hot sauce to preference, that definitely works for me.

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Instant sugar-free chocolate pudding made with Greek yogurt instead of milk, added de-fatted peanut powder and chocolate whey protein (unflavored would work better, TBH), and with peanuts, raw rolled oats, and sliced bananas.

It's a great meal when you're done at the gym and utterly exhausted by the prospect of making real food. It's high protein, no added sugars, and high in fiber. If you squint, it's almost healthy.

Garlic butter spread over bread (alentejano bread has a tiny bit of olive oil and it's preferred but it's the bread that's at hand, white form toast bread usually), toasted with filling of green olives, mushroom, dried tomato and peanut butter.

It's all preserved stuff so it's back up when you don't have fresh things and the sweet of the peanut butter ties in with the olives quite nicely, I only like black oxidated olives otherwise.

a rice cooker filled with lentils and nuts and other types of bird food. no seasoning or salt. brown rice.

a smoothie with raw kale/spinnach, broccoli, spirulina, a banana, almond milk. looks dark green.

actually, ive changed my mind. i would try to get someone to eat this.

Gnocchi cream and cheddar, with ham if I'm feeling hungry.

It's for when I don't have a lot of time but am really hungry.

I don't think there's anything that I eat that couldn't be served to anyone else. Even some particularly Brazilian dishes, such as cooked cassava or corn couscous with milk and butter are pretty much vanilla compared to some other local dishes which I dread - such as buchada (a brazilian haggis, made with rice and goat offals), sarapatel (just the cooked goat offals) or chouriço doce (a reduction of sugar, spices and pig blood).