Step 4 a Ukranian solider will post that shit on the internet
step 6, sprinkle some sunflower seeds
You guys read minds? Can we also have the bodies tossed into a large pit where we all per into? At least the waste treatment plant.
NGL a PPV of Alex Jones eating a Ukrainian drone would drain my wallet
Step 5: Blow your fucking dome off in a dusty field bc it’s better than slowly bleeding out alone to own the libs.
I'd pay good money for that footage.
Hey, if you and your buddies wanna go, Alex, knock yourselves out. Seriously: get the fuck out of here, because the vast majority of us hate you for being one of the worst calibers of human.
i heard refusing Putin offers is woke
And DEI
Funny thing is, often those kind of "based" countries also have their own version of DEI. Hungary still offers companies a tax writeoff if they're employing disabled people, and disabled people also entitled to extra paid leaves and tax writeoff. The catch? The workplaces often have to make their jobs "disabled friendly", which often can be just "not having to count", due to ableist jokes of the past. Also getting tested for disability is really hard and humiliating experience, amputees are being strip searched every few years for hidden limbs (and originally everyone got that treatment to "repeal those who don't need it"), autistic adults are getting the same questionnaires as children (because "real autistic people are low-functioning), etc. But at least we no longer have "mafia-types" (Roma) buying Mercedeses and BMWs from welfare money that was supposed to go to the "real disabled", as far-right "news" portals like kuruc info, barikád, and bombagyár reported back in the days.
Fuck that was a bleak but interesting read... Thank you
It would be very weird for them to refuse.
Just a moment now - before he's allowed to go let's make sure we get all his money into the hands of gun violence survivors.
These guys are always hypocrites; it's probably all in US goverment-controlled assets.
Wrong tone, we gotta take Putin's offer before they do, scream it from the rooftops that were gonna go and make them look like "pussies."
FOMO + FUD = FFOMOUD?
”[Putin’s] new decree blows the lid off the establishment's agenda, letting freedom-loving folks bypass the usual bureaucratic nonsense like language tests or history exams," Jones posted on X. "If you're ready to reject the insane policies of your home countries that push these destructive, anti-human, neoliberal agendas, Russia is rolling out the red carpet!”
Based and fuck off to Russia pilled
”... bypass the usual bureaucratic nonsense"
Immigration laws? Quotas? Checking that they're not importing the "criminals, drug traffickers, human traffickers and people from insane asylum from those shithole countries"?
"like language tests"
"Speak 'Merican!" "Why should I press 1 for English!?"
"or history exams,"
"They come over here and don't even integrate to our culture, our laws and our history. They want to bring their own culture here and replace us"
I know it never stops, but even still this level of hypocritical entitlement still amazes me. Either way, can't wait for these Leopard Ate My Face posts.
Russia needs meat for the meat grinder. Putin is delaying sourcing his meat from St. Petersburg or Moscow for as long as possible.
I love how the same people that call for tougher immigration laws are clamoring for looser laws in other countries.
You just want to go to Russia and live there without ever bothering to learn Russian? And you're not expecting any resentment to grow against those immigrants that just come and don't adjust?
There will be those - I suspect - who believe they are above speaking Russian, because they were "raised speaking the language of the greatest country on Earth", and they will believe that the Russians will just accept that for the same reasons, because, obviously Russians know that Americans are better than them.
This mindset is very familiar to me. I'm British.
They assume they’ll be fine since they’re white. That’s all.
"This new decree blows the lid off the establishment's agenda, letting freedom-loving folks bypass the usual bureaucratic nonsense like language tests or history exams"
This coming from the "LEARN ENGLISH, YOU'RE IN AMERICA!" crowd
"freedom loving", yes Russia sounds like the best place to go .....
Right?! When i think of a place where i can do anything i want, i think of Amsterdam, Ibiza, and Moscow lol
I hope they all agree and go in one big wave, because otherwise stories of the early adopters being conscripted to die in Ukraine might dissuade the rest of them.
They won't conscript Alex Jones. He can't walk across a parking lot without getting winded.
Russia is forcing people who are disabled to fight in Ukraine. I'm sure Alex qualifies.
Sandbag division
It takes him 2 tries to get up off the couch
Are you sure you're not thinking of JD Vance?
Edit: Sorry, I thought you wrote 'get the couch off.'
Hahaha if true it would be some poetic justice, but unfortunately these dweebs are already hanging out there half the time and loving the oligarch lifestyle, so unless that's taken away they will die happy
1980's conservatives: "Why don't you move to Russia if you don't like it here?"
2020's conservatives: "Why don't we move to Russia if we don't like it here?"
In the 1920s, a brash group of young and ideologically committed Americans saw the Bolshevik Revolution taking place in Russia and decided to travel halfway around the world in order to join it.
In the 2020s, a boorish group of over-the-hill talk radio hosts and their most die-hard hangers on are witnessing the last dregs of humanity squeezed out of the failed revolutionary experiment and have decided "Damn, now is definitely the time to pop over and go golfing."
I wonder what the Russian police will say the first time they see Alex Jones light up a fat blunt?
Is nose candy legal in Russia? He’ll fit in well with the alcohol abuse - I’m just not sure how kosher all of his uppers will be.
Yeah well, not too illogical a position considering the fall of communism between those decades. This is a trait of Russia, not of conservatives.
Please, take him up on that offer. please!
Preferably before November.
... Wasn't there a story a few months ago about a family that had done exactly that and turns out living in Russia kinda sucks?
Haha, yes. They were home schooling, antivaxxers who sold a fully owned farm in Canada because of "the gays," then hoped a plan to russia with their 8 kids.
Of course, Russia froze all their funds, forced them all to get vaccinated, then refused go process their visas for months, while they had to live in a one bedroom with a broken sink. The husband posted a video talking about how they missed their washing machine.
The wife then posted a video about how she hated Russian bureaucracy, which they pulled down quickly. Suddenly, they are talking about howm much they love Russia, how its great that they can't access their money.
Now, months later they find out that they need to speak fluent Russian to become citizens, and that it can take years after that. They also can't own more than 49% of a farm without being citizens, so they found a russian to own the 51%.
So after all this, they are going to build a house and a barn and raise farm animals, all for some guy they met to actually own, all while not speaking the language and being utterly dependent on strangers.
Man, that fully owned farmed farm in canada where they were utterly independent and had free healthcare sure sounds like shit in comparison.
I feel bad for the kids.
Eh, they still have citizenship. They'll be fine when they're 18.
Yeah, it's not like Russia has ever illegally detained foreigners before!
You think 18 year olds are allowed to leave Russia right now, except to walk into prepared Ukrainian positions?
They don’t even have to leave Russia to do that anymore!
At least they got away from 'woke"
I hope the guy with the 51% is gay. That's the only possible way this could be more ironic.
If that doesn’t sum up the path that this crazy ideology leads you down I don’t know what will.
At each step they just keep doubling down 🫠
Here's an article mentioning that family (from Canada) but also about a recent family from NY.
Bruh. They get drafted straight into the meatgrinder.
And nothing of value was lost.
Pretty sure they don’t allow new citizens to be dual citizens with the US, and I’m pretty sure there’s a very painful tax due when you try to dump your citizenship.
Actually, I’m also pretty sure the reason Jones is considering this is those lawsuits and shit.
Pretty sure the tax man can't find them if they're in a foxhole.
Ukrainians are just going to strap drones on the backs of irs special agents.
And you thought the machinegun drone was the scariest.
We say that now, until the Ukrainian drones hit their preset kill limit.
Nah, way too much value in Alex’s dumb face. Putin’s goal is and has always been to incite internal conflict in the west. Race, class, gender struggles etc further dividing us are the FSBs bread and butter though obviously on the whole “physical war” thing Russia is struggling. Putin would love for Alex to be a mouthpiece for Russia. Joe Rogan has almost 15 million subscribers, and he would happily host Jones whether he was a Russian mouthpiece or not, and idiots would gobble it up, like they do with Tate, Peterson, etc
Their fatal error was assuming the Ukrainians had a predefined kill limit
Oh no!
Anyway
Ssshhhhhh...
Didn’t a conservative family already try living in Russia recently and found out it wasn’t all like a better version of America?
There was a homophobic family from here in Sasktachewan (the Feenstra's), who sold their family farm and dragged their 8 kids to Russia to escape the "far leftist" and "lgbtq ideology" here in Canada. Guess it didn't work out too well for them since they had their bank accounts frozen (possibly assets seized) and then proceeded to speak ill of Russia (including they don't speak English there) only to have to publicly apologize and eat their words.
I'd laugh but that sounds like 8 kids had their lives ruined by some idiots.
Yeah, I feel horrible for those kids. His wife also at least seems to have at least realized what a mistake they had made. Her husband though, has done nothing but double down on staying in Russia.
Guess it didn’t work out too well for them since they had their bank accounts frozen (possibly assets seized)
There's that funny, but sad thing about laws and how not to break them - a lot of it in daily life depends on instinct, like "how not to make your Windows 98 installation hang". And those instincts, the aesthetics of what you should and shouldn't do, are very different between USA and Russia.
Fraud aside.
and then proceeded to speak ill of Russia (including they don’t speak English there)
LOL. What did they expect, "traditional values" are usually less demanding in terms of knowing foreign languages.
I mean, there was some farmer guy on YouTube who actually managed to move to Russia, create a business and all, who also learned Russian on a good level, but that fact alone (learning a new language on a fluent level being an adult) shows him to be a very unusual person. And I don't remember any "traditional values" being among his reasons.
to escape the “far leftist” and “lgbtq ideology” here in Canada
The stronger your country and civilization group are, the harder it is to see past internal discourse towards outside reality.
So I'm not surprised that Americans and Europeans might often see their daily news as the absolute truth and be hostile to people trying to tell them otherwise. As with, for example, demonized Iran (not that theocracy is good, it's just that in foreign policy it's a better country that Russia, Turkey, Israel, Saudi Arabia, China, ...).
For such people the internal discourse is that Russia is somehow related to their political views. While in reality it's anything but "traditional" in the American sense.
Shhhhh, don’t tell them
I hear Kursk is lovely this time of year for Russians.
Yep. Guarantee every male who is at least semi or partially able bodied who takes him up winds up conscripted and on the front lines.
Except of course for the rich or famous like Alex Jones who do it. They'll be exempt so they can keep luring more people into Russia to refill their troops numbers.
To be fair Alex hasn't been in fighting shape for a decade
Neither have a lot of the men Russia sends to the front lines TBH.
For the first time in a long time, sunflowers have been spotted there recently.
Please idiots, flee to that hellscape. There you might realize how full of shit you all are.
Who cares as long as they're gone?
Please do take all the conservative brainlets and build a Gilead so we can all watch it crash and burn while you cope about foreign interference.
But, I think they should not accept dual nationality. Make them burn their passports at the border!
I’d be soooooo triggered if they accepted. And remember, the US is the only country that taxes citizens on foreign earnings. So you’ll have to renounce your citizenship
They nail you like 1600 to renounce that citizenship too.
Unless you plan on going back to the US there is no real concern about the tax man. Alex Jones is on the hook for millions from the court rulings about Sandy Hook, so fucking off to RUS is a viable option in that sense. Turn it all into BTC and flee
Don’t forget to renounce your citizenship so you can’t come back don’t have to pay taxes…
they already think they don't have to pay taxes.
the Foreign Ministry is gearing up to issue visas to true patriots as soon as September! It's time to stand up for spiritual and moral values!
My God these people are fucking idiots.
True patriots leave their country for Russia, and to flee your country is to "stand up for spiritual and moral values". /s
I care so much I'm ready to give up immediately!
People who are so American they're moving to Russia!
I remember when trump supporters wore shirts that said they'd "Rather be Russian than a Democrat."
The traditional value of fertilizing sunflowers in Ukraine?
Circular economy
But dont they hate immigrants?
You silly, "immigrant" is an euphemism for POC and non-christians.
Yeah, everyone knows that when white people do it they're "expats"!
Only brown skinned ones whose first language isn’t English.
And then they went to Russia, where they were send to Ukraine, where they were turned into fertilizer by the shells their tax dollars got for Ukraine.
Womp womp. Thoughts and prayers
Is there a GoFundMe to which I can donate to help with relocation costs?
Putin puts out call for Americans to conscript and fight in Ukraine?
That last comment is really sad, because it sounds like schizophrenia.
"Good, if those still wishing to make satanic hand gestures and hidden eye symbols keep doing it and don’t stop Alex Jones I might just do that," added X user Robin Cope.
I think he just buys into his own bullshit now. Kindle lake L. Ron Hubbard towards the end.
I can see it now, they go to Russia and expect all Russians to speak English.
Russia: You're in Russia! Speak Russian! You don't like it, go back to where you came from!
Conservatives: How dare you!
Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
Oh yes please! Move to Russia. Can easily keep denying climate change and live in the authoritarian system they prefer. Let all these guys move there, they can make up for all the men Putin killed in his stupid war with Ukraine.
Do they need money for plane tickets? I’d be happy to pitch in
I've got some airline miles banked they can happily use
Is there a GoFundMe where I can donate for buying their tickets?
Damn Alex, that's a sore-dick deal if I have ever heard one. Carpe fuckin diem, comrade!
So they are seeking asylum in another country? Like, to move there permanently?
Huh.
"Good, if those still wishing to make satanic hand gestures and hidden eye symbols keep doing it and don’t stop Alex Jones I might just do that," [added] X user Robin Cope.
What are these satanic hand gestures that I am missing out on? Sounds cool.
🤟
Omg if that is what the guy was referring to then I am going to die from laughter 😆
It likely is. There's a long present conspiracy theory that the "rock on" symbol is actually a demonic hand symbol that cultists use to signal one another. It's not a particularly prominent theory (any more) but it's lasted literal decades.
Here is my understanding of that tiny grain of truth to that "conspiracy theory":
The earliest known use of the Sign of the horns (and the source of that name) is the "occult rock" band Coven, and specifically lead singer Jinx Dawson. There is at least one photograph of her dated from 1967 displaying the Sign of the horns.
A lot of rock and heavy metal bands went with satanic or occult aesthetics but made it clear it was performance art, especially during the various moral panics. Coven didn't. I'm not going to definitively say the members are or were Satan worshippers, but I would say they walked the walk more convincingly than the KISSes and Black Sabbaths of the world. Their first album titled Witchcraft Destroys Minds & Reaps Souls included a poster showing the band's members performing a "satanic ritual" throwing up the horns around Jinx lying naked on an altar.
So that's where the bible thumpers probably got the idea from.
🤘 with the thumb over the middle fingers (instead of 🤟, the Spider-Man gesture) is called the devil horns, or the sign of the devil.
I mean, Christians called it that in the 80s maybe...
Rock and metal artists called it that, too, though mainly just to trigger/rebel against the Christian cultural norms
Edit: genuinely confused why I'm being downvoted for actual facts, did people think I was agreeing with the dumbass Christians on this?
Die fast and wither?
Nah, even Terran Empire Spock turned out to be a basically reasonable guy. The Alex Jones crowd wouldn't go for him.
Maybe they'll get the dumbest of the dumbasses to go over there, but the just average dumbasses aren't too dumb to see that the standard of living in Russia is cold dog shit.
Hell yeah even has the tiny useless bed like modern US trucks
Dude that truck is sick, I’d be happy to drive it
Me too but my masculinity isn't tied to the car I drive, because that would be cringe. But for Republicans, this might as well be Darfur.
no uh, you wouldn't be happy to drive a Russian vehicle unless you like awful rides and literally death. There are no airbags or any modern safety features other than the seatbelt lol
I can't wait to see the tic-toks coming from the first volunteer MAGA battalion they send to the front. Do you think maybe they'll ask both Putin AND Trump for help as battle hardened AFU units shred their weekend warrior asses?
The few Americans who have joined the Russian side are always kept away from the front, their sole purpose is for propaganda which they can't do if they're shredded by a drone
Good, he can go to Ruzzia and produce more, "entertainment for idiots", there.
Or gets conscripted and dies in the trenches.
Nah, Putin isn't that dumb, Alex Jones will get set up nice somewhere he can pump out propaganda and get more rubes to come to Russia, the rubes will die in the trenches.
DO IT!
I say that as a Russian (EDIT: citizen), let them do it. The squeal they'll raise when they realize what they've gotten into is going to make life here interesting in a good way for some time.
They should move there to have abortion rights, gun control and limited freedom of speech. All the "conservative" stuff they love.
Flash forward to Russia “they’re not sending their best” comments
PLEASE GOD take him up on his offer
Someone create a GoFundMe so we can buy him tickets.
PLEASE GOD TAKE THEM, GET THEM THE FUCK OUT OF THIS COUNTRY.
Na na na naaa
Na na na naaa
Hey, hey, hey
GOOD-BYE
Off you trot Alex!
Don't let the door hit you on the way out!
Thie has all finally come full circle, huh? Putin's push to fully destabilize America, using Americans.
Mmm, yes. Go off and live in your fascist fantasy land
Fly away home little horseshoes, fly away home.
That offer sounds AMAZING!
They wouldn't dare! They don't have the guts!
Can someone spread around some guides on how to apply an everything. The crocodile tears would be incredible!
It's Russia, the whole idea of a howto guide to dealing with bureaucracy that works is, ahem, contradictory to its essence.
Most of them are going to give up before getting here. Sadly. It would be interesting to watch.
Please, please let them all ship themselves to Siberia.
Please go. You have my blessing!
Sound very much like the communists that moved to Soviet Union 100 years ago to build a utopia. They went and got purged by Stalin. Now it's the turn for far-right wingnuts with another former petty criminal in charge of Russia.
Sound very much like the communists that moved to Soviet Union 100 years ago to build a utopia.
Sounds like the exact opposite. Alex Jones is many things, but he's not a brash young revolutionary looking to rebuild the industrial base of the country with his own two hands. Dude is looking over there because he wants to haunt the strip clubs and cigar joints, while getting shit-faced on raw milk and vodka.
I’ve never felt a greater pull to donate to anything.
I would get such schadenfreude from each and every MAGA dipshit who actually takes this offer up
Alex would not do it. Unless he can still sell you his Big Brain Vitamins and Deep Earth Crystals. With China cutting off exchanges I doubt he would go.
Who knew Putin was actually such a nice guy.
Today’s surprise: I actually find myself grateful to Putin. GTFO, weirdos.
DEI visas
Good, let's contain all these fucked up neo nazis for some reason called "conservatives" in Russia.
But wouldn't that be mean to Russians?
"Stone buildings burn to the fucking ground, Eddie" - Alex Jones, via knowledge fight. They don't like Alex much, but that was an epic quote
Good, go, and didn't let the door hit ya.
🚢
Do it. Do it!!! DO IT!!! C'mon......c'mon........do it do it do it.
If Trump looses the election, I'm sure he'll take the offer. If Trump wins the election US will become Russia.
Hey a problem that solves itself. Nice.
Ship em all over there so they can be ukranian target practice dummies
So uh, I appreciate everyone's sentiment, but this would actually make our problems worse. Living in Russia does not prevent you from running a propaganda network, though sanctions might possibly interfere with supplements sales.
What living in Russia definitely does do, though, is prevent our legal system from reaching you with any form of consequences. Many of our fiercest propaganda foes do live safely in Russia where we just cannot reach them very easily, and they are still a major problem. A lot of the fake local "news" websites, for instance, are run by one single American expat, living in Russia. He just remakes them when they get taken down, he's made hundreds, all spreading a mix of copied real news and standard Russian propaganda.
Things aren't always as simple as they seem. Most things, actually.
Oh no! Ukrainian partisans infiltrated their compound and gunned them all down after they became valid targets as official propaganda apparatchik!
Shame.
If Alex Jones actually goes to Russia to live, I have $100 saying that within 6 months he’ll be “asked” to do war correspondent shit and will wind up like that katsap whose face was all mangled and had to stop a civvie car to get a ride to the hospital.
I sure would like it if these people couldn't cast their vote to sell us to fucking Russia.
Kick out Steven Seagal to vatnikland too.
I wonder how happy Putin would be when they get this guy that is known for spreading misinformation against the government trough a whole country.
He'll have lots of competition here. Won't be anything as big.
But his competition is pro Russia. And it seems like it's second nature to him to hate on his government.
yes please. people who don't like them are intrigued as well. please do it.
It is a trap that is hidden in the details
...and step 2 is up to Ukraine.
Anyway what's the latest on the long range missile limitations?
If HIMARS are fired from inside Russia, they cross no borders, ergo limitless.
I wonder if people who defect to north korea are also similarly dense
it will really suck to live in that country for quite a while it seems
Provided that any assets remain in the USA then just go. Also stay gone. Also no whining.
Most of Alex Jones's assets are already going to the Sandy Hook families. He can leave once he's paid up.
DIG THE FUCKING HOLE!!
::: spoiler Raw Story - News Source Context (Click to view Full Report)
Information for Raw Story:
Step 1: offer sanctuary
Step 2: offer citizenship
Step 3: conscript
Step 4: get blown ta fuck by a fpv drone
Step 4 a Ukranian solider will post that shit on the internet
step 6, sprinkle some sunflower seeds
You guys read minds? Can we also have the bodies tossed into a large pit where we all per into? At least the waste treatment plant.
NGL a PPV of Alex Jones eating a Ukrainian drone would drain my wallet
Step 5: Blow your fucking dome off in a dusty field
bc it’s better than slowly bleeding out aloneto own the libs.I'd pay good money for that footage.
Hey, if you and your buddies wanna go, Alex, knock yourselves out. Seriously: get the fuck out of here, because the vast majority of us hate you for being one of the worst calibers of human.
i heard refusing Putin offers is woke
And DEI
Funny thing is, often those kind of "based" countries also have their own version of DEI. Hungary still offers companies a tax writeoff if they're employing disabled people, and disabled people also entitled to extra paid leaves and tax writeoff. The catch? The workplaces often have to make their jobs "disabled friendly", which often can be just "not having to count", due to ableist jokes of the past. Also getting tested for disability is really hard and humiliating experience, amputees are being strip searched every few years for hidden limbs (and originally everyone got that treatment to "repeal those who don't need it"), autistic adults are getting the same questionnaires as children (because "real autistic people are low-functioning), etc. But at least we no longer have "mafia-types" (Roma) buying Mercedeses and BMWs from welfare money that was supposed to go to the "real disabled", as far-right "news" portals like kuruc info, barikád, and bombagyár reported back in the days.
Fuck that was a bleak but interesting read... Thank you
It would be very weird for them to refuse.
Just a moment now - before he's allowed to go let's make sure we get all his money into the hands of gun violence survivors.
These guys are always hypocrites; it's probably all in US goverment-controlled assets.
Wrong tone, we gotta take Putin's offer before they do, scream it from the rooftops that were gonna go and make them look like "pussies."
FOMO + FUD = FFOMOUD?
Based and fuck off to Russia pilled
Immigration laws? Quotas? Checking that they're not importing the "criminals, drug traffickers, human traffickers and people from insane asylum from those shithole countries"?
"Speak 'Merican!" "Why should I press 1 for English!?"
"They come over here and don't even integrate to our culture, our laws and our history. They want to bring their own culture here and replace us"
I know it never stops, but even still this level of hypocritical entitlement still amazes me. Either way, can't wait for these Leopard Ate My Face posts.
Russia needs meat for the meat grinder. Putin is delaying sourcing his meat from St. Petersburg or Moscow for as long as possible.
I love how the same people that call for tougher immigration laws are clamoring for looser laws in other countries.
You just want to go to Russia and live there without ever bothering to learn Russian? And you're not expecting any resentment to grow against those immigrants that just come and don't adjust?
There will be those - I suspect - who believe they are above speaking Russian, because they were "raised speaking the language of the greatest country on Earth", and they will believe that the Russians will just accept that for the same reasons, because, obviously Russians know that Americans are better than them.
This mindset is very familiar to me. I'm British.
They assume they’ll be fine since they’re white. That’s all.
This coming from the "LEARN ENGLISH, YOU'RE IN AMERICA!" crowd
"freedom loving", yes Russia sounds like the best place to go .....
Right?! When i think of a place where i can do anything i want, i think of Amsterdam, Ibiza, and Moscow lol
I hope they all agree and go in one big wave, because otherwise stories of the early adopters being conscripted to die in Ukraine might dissuade the rest of them.
They won't conscript Alex Jones. He can't walk across a parking lot without getting winded.
Russia is forcing people who are disabled to fight in Ukraine. I'm sure Alex qualifies.
Sandbag division
It takes him 2 tries to get up off the couch
Are you sure you're not thinking of JD Vance?
Edit: Sorry, I thought you wrote 'get the couch off.'
Hahaha if true it would be some poetic justice, but unfortunately these dweebs are already hanging out there half the time and loving the oligarch lifestyle, so unless that's taken away they will die happy
1980's conservatives: "Why don't you move to Russia if you don't like it here?"
2020's conservatives: "Why don't we move to Russia if we don't like it here?"
In the 1920s, a brash group of young and ideologically committed Americans saw the Bolshevik Revolution taking place in Russia and decided to travel halfway around the world in order to join it.
In the 2020s, a boorish group of over-the-hill talk radio hosts and their most die-hard hangers on are witnessing the last dregs of humanity squeezed out of the failed revolutionary experiment and have decided "Damn, now is definitely the time to pop over and go golfing."
I wonder what the Russian police will say the first time they see Alex Jones light up a fat blunt?
Is nose candy legal in Russia? He’ll fit in well with the alcohol abuse - I’m just not sure how kosher all of his uppers will be.
Yeah well, not too illogical a position considering the fall of communism between those decades. This is a trait of Russia, not of conservatives.
Please, take him up on that offer. please!
Preferably before November.
... Wasn't there a story a few months ago about a family that had done exactly that and turns out living in Russia kinda sucks?
Haha, yes. They were home schooling, antivaxxers who sold a fully owned farm in Canada because of "the gays," then hoped a plan to russia with their 8 kids.
Of course, Russia froze all their funds, forced them all to get vaccinated, then refused go process their visas for months, while they had to live in a one bedroom with a broken sink. The husband posted a video talking about how they missed their washing machine.
The wife then posted a video about how she hated Russian bureaucracy, which they pulled down quickly. Suddenly, they are talking about howm much they love Russia, how its great that they can't access their money.
Now, months later they find out that they need to speak fluent Russian to become citizens, and that it can take years after that. They also can't own more than 49% of a farm without being citizens, so they found a russian to own the 51%.
So after all this, they are going to build a house and a barn and raise farm animals, all for some guy they met to actually own, all while not speaking the language and being utterly dependent on strangers.
Man, that fully owned farmed farm in canada where they were utterly independent and had free healthcare sure sounds like shit in comparison.
I feel bad for the kids.
Eh, they still have citizenship. They'll be fine when they're 18.
Yeah, it's not like Russia has ever illegally detained foreigners before!
You think 18 year olds are allowed to leave Russia right now, except to walk into prepared Ukrainian positions?
They don’t even have to leave Russia to do that anymore!
At least they got away from 'woke"
I hope the guy with the 51% is gay. That's the only possible way this could be more ironic.
If that doesn’t sum up the path that this crazy ideology leads you down I don’t know what will.
At each step they just keep doubling down 🫠
Here's an article mentioning that family (from Canada) but also about a recent family from NY.
https://www.thetimes.com/world/russia-ukraine-war/article/the-american-families-moving-to-russia-to-flee-moral-decline-of-us-k9975x2nj
They can all go and make their own new Russian town. They could call it Jonesgrad or perhaps Jonestown to keep it closer to their American roots.
Don't forget to pack up some FlavorAid for those scorching Russian summers.
They could call it Hicksville even... :P
Just in case you missed the reference.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonestown
I know about the kool aid, but also for you-
https://www.texasmonthly.com/the-daily-post/the-conspiracy-theory-that-alex-jones-is-actually-legendary-long-dead-texas-comedian-bill-hicks/
layers on layers on layers
Bruh. They get drafted straight into the meatgrinder.
And nothing of value was lost.
Pretty sure they don’t allow new citizens to be dual citizens with the US, and I’m pretty sure there’s a very painful tax due when you try to dump your citizenship.
Actually, I’m also pretty sure the reason Jones is considering this is those lawsuits and shit.
Pretty sure the tax man can't find them if they're in a foxhole.
Ukrainians are just going to strap drones on the backs of irs special agents.
And you thought the machinegun drone was the scariest.
We say that now, until the Ukrainian drones hit their preset kill limit.
Nah, way too much value in Alex’s dumb face. Putin’s goal is and has always been to incite internal conflict in the west. Race, class, gender struggles etc further dividing us are the FSBs bread and butter though obviously on the whole “physical war” thing Russia is struggling. Putin would love for Alex to be a mouthpiece for Russia. Joe Rogan has almost 15 million subscribers, and he would happily host Jones whether he was a Russian mouthpiece or not, and idiots would gobble it up, like they do with Tate, Peterson, etc
Their fatal error was assuming the Ukrainians had a predefined kill limit
Oh no!
Anyway
Ssshhhhhh...
Didn’t a conservative family already try living in Russia recently and found out it wasn’t all like a better version of America?
There was a homophobic family from here in Sasktachewan (the Feenstra's), who sold their family farm and dragged their 8 kids to Russia to escape the "far leftist" and "lgbtq ideology" here in Canada. Guess it didn't work out too well for them since they had their bank accounts frozen (possibly assets seized) and then proceeded to speak ill of Russia (including they don't speak English there) only to have to publicly apologize and eat their words.
I'd laugh but that sounds like 8 kids had their lives ruined by some idiots.
Yeah, I feel horrible for those kids. His wife also at least seems to have at least realized what a mistake they had made. Her husband though, has done nothing but double down on staying in Russia.
There's that funny, but sad thing about laws and how not to break them - a lot of it in daily life depends on instinct, like "how not to make your Windows 98 installation hang". And those instincts, the aesthetics of what you should and shouldn't do, are very different between USA and Russia.
Fraud aside.
LOL. What did they expect, "traditional values" are usually less demanding in terms of knowing foreign languages.
I mean, there was some farmer guy on YouTube who actually managed to move to Russia, create a business and all, who also learned Russian on a good level, but that fact alone (learning a new language on a fluent level being an adult) shows him to be a very unusual person. And I don't remember any "traditional values" being among his reasons.
The stronger your country and civilization group are, the harder it is to see past internal discourse towards outside reality.
So I'm not surprised that Americans and Europeans might often see their daily news as the absolute truth and be hostile to people trying to tell them otherwise. As with, for example, demonized Iran (not that theocracy is good, it's just that in foreign policy it's a better country that Russia, Turkey, Israel, Saudi Arabia, China, ...).
For such people the internal discourse is that Russia is somehow related to their political views. While in reality it's anything but "traditional" in the American sense.
Shhhhh, don’t tell them
I hear Kursk is lovely this time of year for Russians.
Yep. Guarantee every male who is at least semi or partially able bodied who takes him up winds up conscripted and on the front lines.
Except of course for the rich or famous like Alex Jones who do it. They'll be exempt so they can keep luring more people into Russia to refill their troops numbers.
To be fair Alex hasn't been in fighting shape for a decade
Neither have a lot of the men Russia sends to the front lines TBH.
For the first time in a long time, sunflowers have been spotted there recently.
Please idiots, flee to that hellscape. There you might realize how full of shit you all are.
Who cares as long as they're gone?
Please do take all the conservative brainlets and build a Gilead so we can all watch it crash and burn while you cope about foreign interference.
But, I think they should not accept dual nationality. Make them burn their passports at the border!
What's the opposite of brain drain?
"raises the IQ of both countries"
Brain clinical lancing?
It's like taking a nice fulfilling shit.
I’d be soooooo triggered if they accepted. And remember, the US is the only country that taxes citizens on foreign earnings. So you’ll have to renounce your citizenship
They nail you like 1600 to renounce that citizenship too.
Unless you plan on going back to the US there is no real concern about the tax man. Alex Jones is on the hook for millions from the court rulings about Sandy Hook, so fucking off to RUS is a viable option in that sense. Turn it all into BTC and flee
Don’t forget to renounce your citizenship so you
can’t come backdon’t have to pay taxes…they already think they don't have to pay taxes.
My God these people are fucking idiots.
True patriots leave their country for Russia, and to flee your country is to "stand up for spiritual and moral values". /s
I care so much I'm ready to give up immediately!
People who are so American they're moving to Russia!
I remember when trump supporters wore shirts that said they'd "Rather be Russian than a Democrat."
The traditional value of fertilizing sunflowers in Ukraine?
Circular economy
But dont they hate immigrants?
You silly, "immigrant" is an euphemism for POC and non-christians.
Yeah, everyone knows that when white people do it they're "expats"!
Only brown skinned ones whose first language isn’t English.
And then they went to Russia, where they were send to Ukraine, where they were turned into fertilizer by the shells their tax dollars got for Ukraine.
Womp womp. Thoughts and prayers
Is there a GoFundMe to which I can donate to help with relocation costs?
https://www.sandyhookpromise.org/
Putin puts out call for Americans to conscript and fight in Ukraine?
That last comment is really sad, because it sounds like schizophrenia.
I think he just buys into his own bullshit now. Kindle lake L. Ron Hubbard towards the end.
I can see it now, they go to Russia and expect all Russians to speak English.
Russia: You're in Russia! Speak Russian! You don't like it, go back to where you came from! Conservatives: How dare you!
Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
Oh yes please! Move to Russia. Can easily keep denying climate change and live in the authoritarian system they prefer. Let all these guys move there, they can make up for all the men Putin killed in his stupid war with Ukraine.
Do they need money for plane tickets? I’d be happy to pitch in
I've got some airline miles banked they can happily use
Is there a GoFundMe where I can donate for buying their tickets?
Damn Alex, that's a sore-dick deal if I have ever heard one. Carpe fuckin diem, comrade!
So they are seeking asylum in another country? Like, to move there permanently?
Huh.
What are these satanic hand gestures that I am missing out on? Sounds cool.
🤟
Omg if that is what the guy was referring to then I am going to die from laughter 😆
It likely is. There's a long present conspiracy theory that the "rock on" symbol is actually a demonic hand symbol that cultists use to signal one another. It's not a particularly prominent theory (any more) but it's lasted literal decades.
Here is my understanding of that tiny grain of truth to that "conspiracy theory":
The earliest known use of the Sign of the horns (and the source of that name) is the "occult rock" band Coven, and specifically lead singer Jinx Dawson. There is at least one photograph of her dated from 1967 displaying the Sign of the horns.
A lot of rock and heavy metal bands went with satanic or occult aesthetics but made it clear it was performance art, especially during the various moral panics. Coven didn't. I'm not going to definitively say the members are or were Satan worshippers, but I would say they walked the walk more convincingly than the KISSes and Black Sabbaths of the world. Their first album titled Witchcraft Destroys Minds & Reaps Souls included a poster showing the band's members performing a "satanic ritual" throwing up the horns around Jinx lying naked on an altar.
So that's where the bible thumpers probably got the idea from.
🤘 with the thumb over the middle fingers (instead of 🤟, the Spider-Man gesture) is called the devil horns, or the sign of the devil.
I mean, Christians called it that in the 80s maybe...
Rock and metal artists called it that, too, though mainly just to trigger/rebel against the Christian cultural norms
Edit: genuinely confused why I'm being downvoted for actual facts, did people think I was agreeing with the dumbass Christians on this?
Die fast and wither?
Nah, even Terran Empire Spock turned out to be a basically reasonable guy. The Alex Jones crowd wouldn't go for him.
Now these people, they're his audience:
Getting a lot of mileage out of this one
Hope they like their new trucks.
https://eu-images.contentstack.com/v3/assets/blt7121b6ec5c11097b/blt94690ff1208f8f91/66195d19756cba0c76b51db8/UAZ_20Pickup_2020_1.jpg
Maybe they'll get the dumbest of the dumbasses to go over there, but the just average dumbasses aren't too dumb to see that the standard of living in Russia is cold dog shit.
Hell yeah even has the tiny useless bed like modern US trucks
Dude that truck is sick, I’d be happy to drive it
Me too but my masculinity isn't tied to the car I drive, because that would be cringe. But for Republicans, this might as well be Darfur.
no uh, you wouldn't be happy to drive a Russian vehicle unless you like awful rides and literally death. There are no airbags or any modern safety features other than the seatbelt lol
I can't wait to see the tic-toks coming from the first volunteer MAGA battalion they send to the front. Do you think maybe they'll ask both Putin AND Trump for help as battle hardened AFU units shred their weekend warrior asses?
The few Americans who have joined the Russian side are always kept away from the front, their sole purpose is for propaganda which they can't do if they're shredded by a drone
Didn't one of them just get tortured to death?
Ah, more stories like this one incoming
One can hope.
That’s some leopards ate my face material
Good, he can go to Ruzzia and produce more, "entertainment for idiots", there.
Or gets conscripted and dies in the trenches.
Nah, Putin isn't that dumb, Alex Jones will get set up nice somewhere he can pump out propaganda and get more rubes to come to Russia, the rubes will die in the trenches.
DO IT!
I say that as a Russian (EDIT: citizen), let them do it. The squeal they'll raise when they realize what they've gotten into is going to make life here interesting in a good way for some time.
They should move there to have abortion rights, gun control and limited freedom of speech. All the "conservative" stuff they love.
Flash forward to Russia “they’re not sending their best” comments
PLEASE GOD take him up on his offer
Someone create a GoFundMe so we can buy him tickets.
PLEASE GOD TAKE THEM, GET THEM THE FUCK OUT OF THIS COUNTRY.
Na na na naaa
Na na na naaa
Hey, hey, hey
GOOD-BYE
Off you trot Alex!
Don't let the door hit you on the way out!
Thie has all finally come full circle, huh? Putin's push to fully destabilize America, using Americans.
Mmm, yes. Go off and live in your fascist fantasy land
Fly away home little horseshoes, fly away home.
That offer sounds AMAZING!
They wouldn't dare! They don't have the guts!
Can someone spread around some guides on how to apply an everything. The crocodile tears would be incredible!
It's Russia, the whole idea of a howto guide to dealing with bureaucracy that works is, ahem, contradictory to its essence.
Most of them are going to give up before getting here. Sadly. It would be interesting to watch.
Please, please let them all ship themselves to Siberia.
Please go. You have my blessing!
Sound very much like the communists that moved to Soviet Union 100 years ago to build a utopia. They went and got purged by Stalin. Now it's the turn for far-right wingnuts with another former petty criminal in charge of Russia.
Sounds like the exact opposite. Alex Jones is many things, but he's not a brash young revolutionary looking to rebuild the industrial base of the country with his own two hands. Dude is looking over there because he wants to haunt the strip clubs and cigar joints, while getting shit-faced on raw milk and vodka.
I’ve never felt a greater pull to donate to anything.
I would get such schadenfreude from each and every MAGA dipshit who actually takes this offer up
Alex would not do it. Unless he can still sell you his Big Brain Vitamins and Deep Earth Crystals. With China cutting off exchanges I doubt he would go.
Who knew Putin was actually such a nice guy.
Today’s surprise: I actually find myself grateful to Putin. GTFO, weirdos.
DEI visas
Good, let's contain all these fucked up neo nazis for some reason called "conservatives" in Russia.
But wouldn't that be mean to Russians?
"Stone buildings burn to the fucking ground, Eddie" - Alex Jones, via knowledge fight. They don't like Alex much, but that was an epic quote
Good, go, and didn't let the door hit ya.
🚢
Do it. Do it!!! DO IT!!! C'mon......c'mon........do it do it do it.
If Trump looses the election, I'm sure he'll take the offer. If Trump wins the election US will become Russia.
Hey a problem that solves itself. Nice.
Ship em all over there so they can be ukranian target practice dummies
So uh, I appreciate everyone's sentiment, but this would actually make our problems worse. Living in Russia does not prevent you from running a propaganda network, though sanctions might possibly interfere with supplements sales.
What living in Russia definitely does do, though, is prevent our legal system from reaching you with any form of consequences. Many of our fiercest propaganda foes do live safely in Russia where we just cannot reach them very easily, and they are still a major problem. A lot of the fake local "news" websites, for instance, are run by one single American expat, living in Russia. He just remakes them when they get taken down, he's made hundreds, all spreading a mix of copied real news and standard Russian propaganda.
Things aren't always as simple as they seem. Most things, actually.
Oh no! Ukrainian partisans infiltrated their compound and gunned them all down after they became valid targets as official propaganda apparatchik!
Shame.
If Alex Jones actually goes to Russia to live, I have $100 saying that within 6 months he’ll be “asked” to do war correspondent shit and will wind up like that katsap whose face was all mangled and had to stop a civvie car to get a ride to the hospital.
I sure would like it if these people couldn't cast their vote to sell us to fucking Russia.
Kick out Steven Seagal to vatnikland too.
I wonder how happy Putin would be when they get this guy that is known for spreading misinformation against the government trough a whole country.
He'll have lots of competition here. Won't be anything as big.
But his competition is pro Russia. And it seems like it's second nature to him to hate on his government.
yes please. people who don't like them are intrigued as well. please do it.
It is a trap that is hidden in the details
...and step 2 is up to Ukraine.
Anyway what's the latest on the long range missile limitations?
If HIMARS are fired from inside Russia, they cross no borders, ergo limitless.
I wonder if people who defect to north korea are also similarly dense
it will really suck to live in that country for quite a while it seems
Provided that any assets remain in the USA then just go. Also stay gone. Also no whining.
Most of Alex Jones's assets are already going to the Sandy Hook families. He can leave once he's paid up.
DIG THE FUCKING HOLE!!
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