Pick 3 Rules

Gork@lemm.ee to 196@lemmy.blahaj.zone – 409 points –

I'll choose 3, 5, and 7.

236

I choose pink, my favorite drink is water. More water per water!

I would be content even if it gets chilled and tastes like filtered spring water.

Doesn't face hair technically include eyebrows

Hmm technically yes. So this will be more of a monkey's paw type wish granting.

You can do makeup that looks like eyebrows and it's less of a hassle than shaving constantly.

Besides, with the center pill, you could look like an unkempt troll and the people you find attractive would still like it; the lack of facial hair is thus for your convenience, like not needing to shave.

1 more...

I honestly think it makes it better. Then you can just get tattooed eyebrows and never have to worry about them.

1 more...
1 more...

the black pill is 100% just amphetamine u ain't slick genie

*Not valid in people with ADHD.

No, its just the threshold for traditional stimulant responses is typically significantly higher than those without the condition, to the point of accute cardiovascular problems.

Pedantic.

I can't take enough of my adderall to have those symptoms without having a heart attack first. It's safe for me to say "I can't take enough adderall to do that," and requiring me to specify I can, but I'd die of other symptoms first, is super pedantic.

“Erm cyanide is a perfectly viable flavoring, you just die when it is used in concentrations you can taste”

Not you can't sleep, just don't have to. Def some amphetamine though.

That will really cut back on how much copper you have to steal to keep the train rolling, so to speak

Blue, Brown, and Black seem like the obvious 3 best to me.

You can go out on the town and fuck all night because people find you attractive and you don't need sleep, then you can talk to their cats afterwards.

Idk, you're running the risk of brown backfiring if cats are dicks or don't have anything interesting to say. Purple gives you a potential income stream, at least

So does Brown, you could be the cat whisperer. There's plenty of money to be made there. You could even potentially solve crimes, asking cat witnesses what they saw.

You just keep repeating that to cope with how shit your homemade pizza is.

  • $20
  • Pizza master chef
  • No need to sleep (as long as I can still if I so desire)

I'd also choose a reverse body hair pill if that was an option. I want to grow wicked 70s sideburns but my genes say no.

Edit: also water tasting like beer or coffee would be weird so I'd avoid that one

I don't really care for cats, but if you could talk to them you could make a fuck load of money. So I'll stay up all night making perfect pizzas, then go inform all the cat ladies why their cats hate them during the day.

Fuck yeah - same plan here. Except I like cats, i do cat rescue. We could team up and be an odd pair and get a TLC show

Why is $20 even in consideration with the not needing sleep pill. Hell I'd probably choose the not need sleep pill over $20 million. It's effectivity massively increasing your lifespan, but without making you outlive everyone you know

Bro, sleeping is like a free sample of death every night, why would you give that up? With that $20 I can buy like 3 gallons of gas!

The pill doesnt stop you from sleeping just makes it so you dont have to

But when it's phrased as having to sleep, you could be dealing with a monkey paw situation.

That's exactly how I read it. You don't have to... but you will want to, and be tired as fuck if you don't.

I would choose the estrogen if I could but I'm still gauging family and friends to see if it's safe to come out

I wish there was a trans god who could magically change the bodies of trans people including me to their chosen gender identity so it was like they where born that gender

I have long given up on the thought if getting everyone to accept me. I grew up in texas. I am not trans, but I have chosen to start presenting more feminine.

This will be a very fun christmas when I visit because I have gotten to the point of no longer valuing any of that negativity. It turns out when you are an adult you can just say “that’s a shit opinion you shouldn’t share” and move on!

It’s especially effective if you don’t even let it affect your tone. Being cheerful and being myself seems to infuriate my mother in a way that makes her show her ass, so I’ll just let her do that.

3 more...

5, 8, 9

Water already is my favorite drink.

Heh, same here but 6, 8, 9. I'll just woo the ladies with my delicious pizzas

Are we, uh...taking this at face value or monkey pawing it? Cause some of those seem great on the surface, though one small twist and that shit becomes a curse.

At least 20 dollars is 20 dollars, worst thing that can happen is it's fake money and not really 20 dollars.

One of your loved ones gets in a horrible accident and the 20 dollars is the insurance payout (straight from the original monkey's paw story)

That's how you get turned into 20 dollars

You try to cash in the $20 but it's fake and the store owner calls the police on you and the police chokes you to death for it despite your pleas for air.

It can be printed by the Federal Reserve and 100% authentic but that ain't gonna stop it from being literally fake.

That is true, at the end of the day it is just paper, and if inflation gets bad enough and the US dollar becomes worthless, then that's all it is, just look at what happened with Venezuela's money, it's basically worth nothing now.

6, 8, 9. Anyone that chooses something else is crazy. Experienced pizza maker can make $40 an hour in my neighborhood (high CoL) the cat thing I could change by the hour! And nobody else doesn't sleep! I could take advantage of that in many ways.

Black, brown, and purple. My cats and I are going to open the greatest 24/7 pizzeria.

$20

Don't Sleep

People Find You Attractive but I destroy it so that its dark power can never be used.

P.S. Jokes on you I'm already a master pizza chef, water is already my favorite drink, and my hairy body is perfect.

Alright, Cat build lets go. GImme the ears and tail, the catspeech, and the no sleep.

So you could become a hairless cat with $20.

Black and blue because I live in a capitalist wasteland and need the competitive edge. Water is my favorite drink and I already talk with cats so I'm not sure what my 3rd pick should be.

Do currently you talk with cats? Or talk to cats?

Because if you're not successfully working with your cats as cat burglars, you're only talking to cats.

For what it's worth, I picked the same 3

I'm selective when it comes to burglary and unfortunately I have yet to meet the cat of a billionaire.

As a master pizza chef and cat whisperer who doesn't need to sleep, I could easily make enough money to buy estrogen and laser hair removal.

All my life I wanted blue ( We're all sexy here ) but recently my libido has gone through the floor. It's like I still like I still like cute people but my brain doesn't know what to do with them, so I pet them like I do my cat.

If you're a guy then you probably have low testosterone - it happens with age. I do and the injections seriously help it.

Otherwise I have no idea, see your doctor.

Can I choose $20 three times. If so, then I choose that. I really need $60.

Otherwise I choose $20 and the pizza chef one. I’ll sell enough pizza to earn $40 and then quit.

I’ll pass on the third thing.

Blue, pink, and brown. Because it's nice to be liked, sugar is bad for my teeth, and cats... know things...

3, 8, and 9. I already have estrogen and already am a master pizza chef. 5 is unethical, it's basically mind control

5 doesn't force them to like you, it just makes you attractive to them. I don't consider it anymore unethical than plastic surgery.

blue, brown, black. do the cats talk back to me in a human voice, or can i just understand their meows? either option works, but I like meows bc my cats all make weird sounds and I've grown attached.

Yeah waiting for Rick to de-curse these pills first

If anything Rick would make them even more cursed.

No, he is not a sadist, he would do it to screw with the original creator just to show he is better. He would though put his own mumbo jumbo for his own experiment, like remove the ability to be unable to sleep until you die from sleep exhaustion and make you a slave to his sleeping consciousness, or the ears and tail pill he would make you an anime extra backup dancer to his new single; "how to score puss in boob world"

Pink pill makes water taste like water

wait there are people who don't pick 8? what is wrong with y'all? I am more like 8, 8 and 8

Do you have cats? Had have you ever had cats?

There have been times I've wanted 8, but only because I wish I could explain to them why, or tell them how much I love them. But I'm also convinced that, like a 4 y/o, you could explain why without them either caring or really understanding, and I'm also pretty sure now I know how to let them know I love them in ways they already understand. And I think I already understand most of what they're saying. So I feel as if 8 would be a waste.

I lived with domesticated and street cats for most of my childhood. Where I am from is filled with cats basically. It is indeed easy to understand basic stuff but the range of cat characteristics is so varied that I always imagined it would be really fun to be able to talk to them.

And that's cool; they're your pills, and we could even trade services. The occasional communication would be interesting. I just (personally) already get enough of the "I'm hungry" yowl, and don't really need to be hearing it in English all the time.

I wouldn't pick 8, but I am a dog person. Oh,and I just don't want to be insulted by cats all the time.

I mean ... they're still cats with cat brains -- you're not going to be having deep conversations with them.

The vast majority of their language is body language and you can figure out what they're "saying" by just looking at them. Also, they're cats: even if they know what you're trying to say if it's something they don't like they won't care.

Black and Blue are OP everyone should take them.

I pick the water thing (pink) but totally get if you want to talk to cats or have a tail or whatever.

I'll take the column on the right. A pizza chef who doesn't need to sleep or shave sounds like all my problems taken care of in one go!

u dont need purple, pink or brown if u're willing to learn and if u're a master pizza chef that understands cats and can trick ur own mind u also wont need blue :3 and maybe that attraction will also get free laser sessions so u wont need yellow! :D

I already got estrogen, and $20 is $20... I'll take the $20 three times please!!

No need for sleep = [a lot more] remaining useful lifetime!

You don't have to, doesn't mean you won't want to...

Xlnt point! But sleep because it feels good seems better than dying otherwise!

But people rarely get to the point of deprivation insanity, let alone death.

Go without sleep for 48 hours for no other reason than an experiment. I guarantee you will sleep the third day, even though you technically don't need to.

These all have monkeys paw potential, but assuming there are no negative repercussions or ethical problems:

Ears and tail, 20$ and general mutual attraction

I'd change 20 dollars for pizza chef, you can probably easily sell $20 of pizza, and then it's all upside

5, 8, and 9.

1 is entirely useless to me, so is 7 because water is my favorite drink. I do not wish to become a girl so 2 is also out of the question. 5 is useless, because it's just a tautology. EDIT: I read that wrong (as "people who find you attractive find you attractive"), oops. 4 is only marginally useful, and 3 and 6 could be good but pales in comparison to the rest.

8 is basically a superpower that nobody else has.

9 would give me so much more time to do the things I like doing.

After rereading 5, it's the best one out of the bunch. I cannot find any romance in my life, and this would get me 99% of the way to fixing this problem.

8 does not say cats will want to talk with you. Hell, cats could already be able to talk to us but chose not to.

I think you lose having 7 if you don't lick it cuz I'd say the same making 7 and 9 my choice and no interest in any of the rest. But if can get my hands on Yerba Mate & Meth/Addies then the whole note is useless like 7.

Hell, at the crack, if we get a choice on what the pill actually is, I'll take 4-MMC>Meth easily.

Not needing to sleep is a no brainer, the middle one honestly I do admit I would take it :x

Choose 3?

Pink, Black, and Blue. Easily best combo.

If I could only pick one, Black, all the way

  • top center
  • middle middle
  • top right

boy kisser

Inaccurate. Boykisser has face and body hair(fur), but you now don't because of top right.

Boykissers fur is soft and white and pure. If he magically transformed into a human he'd look like this:

boykissers as a human

Red, pink, and black. As a furry, why wouldn't I choose red? With the pink pill, the water wouldn't really change flavor as I'm a big water fan. And with never having to sleep, I'd be able to get less done in more time... wait...

I already have ears??

Anyway, probably blue but black seems appealing.

They mean those cute fuzzy ears like what catgirls have

Yes I know catboys have them too, and that there are ones of the NonBinary variety (I'm one of those).

I don't have a cat (did in the past, was an indoor cat) but there's many roaming my neighbourhood because it's still apparently difficult for Australians to understand how fucked that is.

I'd like to be able to talk to cats.

So I'd go have a chat to them and explain what longer, healthier lives they'd have at home. Free from disease, injury and the risk of being hit by car. I'd tell them to go home.

I'd also explain to them, that if they keep visiting my house, that eventually my dog might get one. And if he doesn't, I'll trap them and take them to the pound because their shit families are unlikely to have chipped them.

2, 3, 6

estrogen yummy

dysphoria extra bye bye

pizza chef easy job coverage

Cyan, yellow, green. Let me sleep but fuck let me be rid of this damn hair

I read it as sleep is optional.

Ah then maybe that instead of the 20 bucks... I'd be more inclined to pick it if like, I could always get the amount of sleep I needed but only 8 hours of time would pass.

Was going to choose 1, then I noticed that it is "you get ears and tail" and now I'm like...

I already have ears will I get additional ears? Where will they be, and how they will be like?

So now I am lost pondering this important questions

2, 3 and 8.

Pill 9 feels more like a curse honestly, imagine not having a single moment of rest ever.

It does say have to so I think you still can, but you don't need to sleep to have energy for your day. It's a magic pill with magic rules

Green, purple, brown. I don't really like to cook, but pizza has a lot of variations so that would be nice. Talking to cats would just be kinda cool, and $20 is $20. I'm ace, prefer water, and have estrogen 3 of them would be a total waste, and the others just aren't my thing.

Pizza cats sleep

2, 3, 9

estrogen No body hairs Productivity boost

Let's see...

  • Water is my favourite drink - check
  • I don't sleep - check
  • I'm a master pizza chef - check...a bit
  • Don't you touch my hairyness!

Sooo, here's my choice:

  • talk with cats
  • ears and tail
  • 20 dollars

All teh B's: Blue, Brown, Black. Runners up: Ketchup and Mustard.

Same, but I'd swap pink for brown, because dieting would be easier and I can already talk to my cats.

I already enjoy the taste of water, and if brown doesn't include understanding what my cats say, I'm going for red, because if I don't have to worry about being rejected over cat ears and a tail, why the hell not? Gimme some of that night vision too though...

Brown, blue and pink. I was tempted about that dark green pill for a while, but settled for the pink one.

The issue isn't that people I find attractive find me attractive, the issue is my personality.

Anyway. I'd like to talk with cats and hear them adorably insult me the whole time.

Blue and black for sure.

Tempted by the brown Cats one but I'm already pretty good at communicating with them so I'm going for yellow.

Clarification on the blue pill: Will I be able to tell that someone is attracted to me? Or will that still be a mystery?

Well, you know it when you find them attractive. The only blank spots are when you're not attracted to them and why bother with those people (/s).

That wouldn't work for me, though. If I know the only reason they're attracted to me is because I'm attracted to them it won't be genuine, and then I wouldn't be attracted to them anymore.

It's why I don't like strip clubs and wouldn't hire a sex worker.

Honestly, cyan, blue and black combined seems like superpowers. Lemme explain:

Most important is not needing sleep, which gets you access to $20, leaves you time to become a master pizza chef and frees your schedule to get rid of those pesky hairs, and when you're done, you can just make yourself your favourite drink. Having access to estrogen solves all kinds of problems, and the main issue left over is finding love, with which the blue pill can surely help.

The only thing you'd be missing out on is the ears and tail and talking to cats. Which is actually kinda big to miss out on... yeah screw the rules, I'm taking all of them!

Bottom row for me, though the no need to sleep feels like a trick, but I'll risk it assuming it means I'm never tired (as opposed to being always tired, like I am now).

"Talk to cats" is definitely a trick. I already talk to cats, the problem is understanding.

As an insomniac, 9. Not being constantly foggy from poor sleep would be a life changer for me. Plus all the extra time to do stuff during the night.

3x purple. They probably stack and will earn me world wide renown and fame.

Wow, the estrogen pill is significantly more popular then I thought

1 3 9, water is already my favourite drink :p

You want hairless ears and tail? I don't think those two pills should go together.

Noooooo ;-;

Maybe those will be exceptions, and it counts those like the hair on top of my head, my eyebrows etc? Or I just need to make sure I take the no hair pill first, and then the other one lol

5, 7, 9 (blue, pink, black)

This is an excellent one, BTW, because I think "obviously," and then read other people's and think "wtf? Really??"

5, 7, and 9 would be my choices if I wasn't married. I guess I would probably still pick 7, just so I can be confident my wife likes the way I look.

Green blue and pink. I have 20 dollars and the other two do not alter anything

Yellow, purple, black.

I was luckily born with pink and blue.

🟨🟦⬛ easiest choice ever I have zero interest in ears, a tail, or oestrogen $20 really isn't that much and I'm not american so I couldn't spend it but even if it was converted it's really not a lot the pizza ones nice but eh heating a pizza stone takes forever and a pizza oven takes up to much space and is to expensive water doesn't taste great but it's tolerable so whatever and I'm not interested in talking to cats on the other hand not having to sleep effectively extends your life by 50% I hate my body and facial hair and I don't think I need to explain blue

Blue and Brown for sure. Not sure I want anything else. Pink is tempting, but sometimes I just want water. Black would be cool, but only if I still can sleep; dreams are cool and I like a good nap. Purple sounds good on paper, but it would actually be a curse. The expertise and pallet you'd gain would just make you see all the flaws in all the pizza you order. You'd never enjoy pizza again unless you made it yourself. I don't need a tail or estrogen, and I like my beard...I might have to take the $20.

chooses 1, 3, and 9

I am the sphinx that baps in the night!

  1. No body hair
  2. Talk with cats (if they feel like talking back)
  3. No need to sleep

Both the blue ones I guess then the last one can be a wildcard

Estrogen, water good, and no sleep.

2, 7, 9

I wake up like a diesel starting in -40° weather and go to sleep like molasses draining from a 3mm hole.

Sleep is inconvenient for me

5, 7, 8

I'm cis as shit so don't need the estrogen, love (most) of my body hair, already drink enough water, enjoy a good snooze and whilst I like the idea of being a great pizza chef, that don't pay the bills, baby. Nor does it get my pickle tickled.

Two blue and one pink. If I can only have one of each, swap a blue for a black.

I'm taking the black pill and never looking back

Green, blue and black. Green because there aren't any better options (and I don't like cats that much)

I either take all of them or grab bag 3 and see what happens. Fuck it.

I choose 1, 4, 8.

1 and 8 helps with my species dysphoria and 4 is $20, can't pass up 20 bucks man.

I also don't really see the benefit of the others to me.

I choose 1, 2, 9 (red, cyan, black)

I'd love to be a catgirl, and not having to sleep would give me lots of extra free time

What does the pink one even change??

I'll take these:

  1. Black: I am almost there on work days, but it does have consequences.
  2. Blue: Otherwise impossible
  3. Brown: Perhaps useful, though I am not sure if they'd want to talk with me.

no sleep and 20 bucks. do you know how much time we waste sleeping? Imagine all the things i could do instead.

I've already got purple and pink, and I only sleep four hours a night anyway, so I will take blue, black, and brown