Capitalism indoctrination in progress.

Striker@lemmy.worldmod to Mildly Infuriating@lemmy.world – 2793 points –
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It's true that it's not always about the money, but it's probably never about a ping pong table

Well, hypothetical speaking, if there were two completely absolutely identical jobs, but the one had a ping pong table. I might choose the one without and ask them to get a Foosball table, since I'm no good at ping pong.

It also depends on whether it's about a pingpong table in the office, or whether I get one for at home and we're talking a fully remote job.

Getting a free pingpong table isn't a bad bonus! I'd prefer a decent crokinole board though, tbh

It's a bad bonus if you don't have space for a ping pong table. Speaking from experience, I got a free ping pong table for Christmas once...

Same here. In the past 5 years, it's seen maybe 10 games, and a whole lot of laundry.

What is Crokinole?

I'm cannot deny that "where should we mail your crokinole board?" would work on me.

If they put in any kind of clackball table, I’m demanding noise canceling headphones and my own office.

Most places that have HR like this work their employees too hard for them to have time to use a ping pong table anyway, so it's really just a hollow gesture.

A company I used to work for had a fucking arcade of all sorts of video games, I NEVER saw anyone playing them

Indeed.

It's telling that "basic dignity" or "managers who aren't dicks" didn't make the list.

Yeah. In my experience, "A manager who doesn't suck" is most of the list.

Source: I've been the manager who did suck, and the one who doesn't. I have some data points.

Ping pong tables are loud as fuck and disrupt the whole office. If they invest in a soundproof room to put it in, sure. Otherwise it just makes you feel like a massive douche.

Especially if your coworkers play like pros.

Thwack

thwack thwack

Thwack

My last job had a pingpong table. We'd even use it occasionally. That is, until people started getting pissy when they'd see us playing pingpong. Then management started bitching that we were playing pingpong instead of working. Eventually, nobody was allowed to use the pingpong table - it just sat there, in the middle of the room, with brand new paddles and packs of balls that we weren't allowed to use.

The money was okay - not great, but not terrible. After some management fuckery, I left for a $10000/yr raise and 100% work from home. I've gone up $20K since then, been promoted to senior, still have upward trajectory, and still work 100% from home. I have a desk in Memphis somewhere, but I've never actually seen it.

It is if you're managing an Olympic ping pong team

It’s always about autonomy, one way or another. People want to be able to control how they work and what they can get out of it. For some that does mean more money, for some it would mean less stress, for others it could means less meetings.

It’s pretty easy for management to address all of it by just giving people more power over what their work lives are like, but that could mean less control over their workforce. No “owner” wants that, to them, they own their employees’ time/work life.

My employer really covered their bases. We have ping-pong, pool, and foosball. That guarantees that everyone has something that will keep them from quitting.

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As a professional in this field, top reasons would be...

  • Dissatisfaction with pay
  • Limited/No career progression
  • Dissatisfaction with environment/culture
  • Dissatisfaction with management
  • Poor work-life balance
  • Poor job design/expectations of role
  • Poor taining quality/knowledge management
  • Inadequate tools/systems

Edit: I should also point out we have about half a dozen ping-pong tables scattered around my work and our turnover figures were bang on average for annual benchmarking against the sector. I consider the average too high, though, and will be targeting better retention over this year. We'll need at least double the amount of ping-pong tables.

I don't see pizza party or ping pong table on that list so you're obviously not a professional.

A real professional knows employees want pizza parties instead of higher pay and they want more responsibilities with the same pay!

:P

Pizza party solves everything!!

Or...a lemon party!

But I have no money and lemons are expensive! If only there was a way we could acquire lemons without paying for them... Anyone know where I could find a lemon tree?

Consult our mutual friend, the Lemon Stealing Whore

My top reasons for leaving a job:

  • Too little pay
  • Too many responsibilities
  • The possibility of career progression

The three Big Nos. My optimal work-life balance is 0.1-99.9. If they trust me to be able to do even one thing, that pay better be huge.

Almost all of these applied to the last job I left, so I guess it's pretty spot on.

So ping pong table falls under the third point right? More ping pong = more fun = better culture? Right? /s just for clarity

Very correct. You can solve bad culture by throwing more money at the problem. Preferably all at once with zero maintenance budget or governance so that the amenities in question can become non-functional monuments to your superior culture. Future generations will find these and marvel at your ingenuity from the safety of the water cooler.

you really a pro, I'm looking for other jobs precisely because of 1 and 2, even though the rest are all great at my current job

Obviously right? I mean this post is definitely a joke

What field?

Strategic Workforce Planning. It's a bit different to HR in that there's a lot of data analysis. Typically we would use data to identify retention issues (reasons, areas, seasonality, etc) and figure out how to improve it. We'd then hand that over to HR to implement fuck up.

There’s some new research that shows raising pay is not great for retention. Studies say it’s better to take that money and put it into a long-term benefit line a pension, profit sharing, while life insurance with a cash out value, etc.

Raises and bonuses had about a 3-month effect.

That seems highly suspect.

Was this research sponsored by the association for research into golden parachuting out of a pillaged company?

There is a bit of truth here. Toxic culture and out of touch management will make people walk as well.

Thing is, there might just be a wad of cash big enough to make me put up with that against my health interests.

Fuck ping pong tables though. No one left a company because they didn't have enough fucking table sports. If you think they are then you are the problem. Exit interview your own fucking arse.

Around 2012 I had a interview with a recruiter, he asked me what kind of company you're looking for, and I replied, one without a ping pong table, he laughed at me, I am an immigrant, left home when I was 19, so around 2008 went around in my country and EU, and already understood that whenever a company had a ping pong table it had a shitty culture, so by the time of that interview I already seen more than enough shitty companies, but I remember that interview in particular because the guy started making fun of me, laughing at me

11 years after, I wish I could speak with that recruiter to see if he understood that ping pong tables are low efforts solutions adopted by shitty-environment companies and if he would laugh at me again

He had to laugh at you, otherwise he would have cried because he knew you were right.

One of the best bosses I ever had once told me that people will stay for the culture but leave for money. His philosophy was to try and ensure that money was not a factor in people's decision, then build as good a culture as he could.

And to be clear, by making money not a factor, I mean he paid well.

I had a meeting years ago with my company's CTO about my salary. He kicked off the meeting by saying "you care a lot more about what you make than I do" which prompted me to ask for 50% more than I had been planning to ask for. He agreed to it without argument. TBF he was a coke addict married to the daughter of the company's owner and within six months he'd been divorced and fired, but I got to keep my salary.

"Man, my job pays horribly and the benefits barely cover anything, but they have a ping-pong table so it's honestly a tough call."

I struggle to understand how someone could seriously write something like that question without a lack of self-awareness so dire that a walk to the kitchen would come with a near-death experience. It just can't be real.

I think the truth is that it assuming it's the latter may not be enough. But the first two are even less likely. Additional responsibilities WITHOUT a raise is very, very unlikely to be what anyone was waiting for to stick around.

This is what I came to say. Good management will make people stay for a long time with less pay.

But obviously HR doesn't get that lmao.

This is it right here!

Last time a job tried to hire me from my current position, it was all about the money, my company was willing to compete. I stayed with the company.

This time where I'm throwing applications like campaign pamphlets, I'm willing to take a cut in pay.

It is shocking how a year can have a company go to the shitter.

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yeah, the "not necessarily pay is accurate, but the "right" answer being ping-pong table pivots things from "ok, they have some understanding" to "incredibly tone deaf".

I mean not enough ping-pong tables could be reason to leave for a PE teacher or something

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It’s true, most people don’t care about money.

They care about what money can help them buy, like another day of survival.

It was never about the money. It was about maslovs heirarchy of needs; which, at the very bottom, is a foosball table.

There's two kinds of money: Enough money, and more than enough money.

If you don't have enough money, that's all that matters. A nicer day at work means very little.

Once you have enough money, more money matters very little. Now it's about enjoying work etc.

Ah but what is enough money for you or I is not enough money for the bigwigs. And since they're obviously more important, as they're at the top, we have to have sure they get enough money even if that means you don't.

But they'll get you a ping pong table so you can stop thinking about how you don't know what you're going to feed your family tonight

This is brilliant!

Tangentially related, I heard another about enough money:

When you already have enough money, do you really need 2x enough money?

As a person with enough money, yes, I would love double my income.

Your baseline can change.

You may be fine with $1000 a month. You have everything you need: food, bed, apartment, electricity, etc.

Now you get a new job and have $2000. You try out more expensive food options and realize you like them better. You move into a bigger apartment and start enjoying the freedom.

You may never wanted this if you didn't try it, but now that you have, you don't want to go back. You may not have noticed that your mental and physical health was degraded due to your previous living conditions until you get better after raising your standards.

I interpreted enough as really enough, when you are really well off and can afford the good stuff/vacations/good cars whatever.

But you are right. The definition of enough changes through ones lifetime quite a bit. I would have a really hard time going back to broke (student).

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That question isn't the best way to frame it, because yeah... 2x "enough" is pretty reasonable. That's still well within the high returns of happiness phase.

Do you need 1000x enough, though? Or 1000x that? I'd love a high end espresso maker, or a nicer car, or to be able to afford to take more time off, but there comes a point where more is just pointless.

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Yeah like, cmon, what do you think the pyramid sits on. On the floor??? No, on the holiest of of foosball tables!

Eh, I dunno. You can wipe your tears with money, light cigars with it, sew clothing from it. Many uses! :P

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There's only been two reasons for me to quit a job: shitty pay and shitty people in charge.

Sounds like this company has both.

None of these answers is correct, it's simply not a multiple choice question.

For some the pay is important, others need a bit of distraction like a ping pong table.

Everybody has their own needs, the biggest HR loser is the one that fits all employees in the same square.

others need a bit of distraction like a ping pong table.

That is never the answer. If your business isn't retaining people because the party culture isn't party enough...you've got way bigger problems...and it's probably leadership.

As I get older I begin to realize that people love to work.

However people hate being treated like shit.

Treating people like shit or building an environment that supports shitty behavior poisons the well and will absolutely make people leave, even for a pay cut.

If you just respect people and properly value them and their contributions to your organization, you'll never have trouble keeping them.

I wouldn't say party culture - it is what you make of it! You're normally at work for a significant portion of your day. Something like a table tennis table can help to break up the day and is just a bit of fun. For example, we had a table tennis tournament at work, which people got really into - it was fun and people bonded over it. I'd take that over working somewhere where you don't even know your colleagues.

This was at a tech company where culture was a big part of why almost everyone worked there. Definitely wasn't a party culture, but it was collaborative, where people worked closely together. There was never an expectation to work outside of working hours, or to do anything social - it was purely optional.

Obviously pay is a big factor, but it isn't everything. I'm lucky enough to be in a sector where I can afford to get paid less and have a better work (definitely not party!) culture and work-life balance.

I shrug...I like WFH...it's me vs the machine and that's that. I hated the forced corporate fun when I was still in that environment. It's "collaborative"...no...no it's not.

Sure...having Little John spin the company party was a neat story...getting paid 50k more and working in quiet peace is a better one.

Company parties are such a dumb waste of time. "Boss says, have fun!"

No thanks.

I prefer to have fun with my real friends instead of the people I work with.

I chose those people.

Totally understand - each to their own! And we agree on forced fun!

I WFH since COVID, and I definitely wouldn't go back to the office (we go in once every two months which everyone really enjoys). Personally, I'd swap the 50k for working in an environment that I enjoy, and that for me means working closely and collaboratively with my teammates, who I get along with. Everyone is different though, so what I want from a job is probably other people's idea of hell.

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A ping pong table? What for? So HR can punish you when you use it?

seriously,who has time to use a ping pong table at work? It's like a decoration to remind you you're not having fun.

You can only enjoy the perks during your 45 minute lunch break. Food or fun, your choice ..

Where do you live, where taking breakes is frowned upon? That's crazy.

Here in Denmark, I'm being reminded to take breakes and go home. I have been asked if I'm sure it's not hurting my work/life balance, before getting overtime approved.

It's also common to stay at work after hours to hang out, if there's a nice place to do that.

Come over to America! A magical place where you are only worth the money you make for your corporate overlords, and despite being told by your boss that they are SO glad that they hired you, your performance review is a 3/5 because they don't want you getting too comfortable and "there's always room for improvement!"

Ah, here it's very different. In multiple companies I've gotten consistent 5/5 and told by my own manager that I should really get a promotion, but they can't give me promotion or even a raise. Just the 1-2% salary adjustment everybody gets.

Feels so good... 🙄

You guys get 1-2% salary adjustments?!?

At least for me in IT, everybody usually gets an adjustment that's on average above inflation. So if you work the same place for ten years without ever getting a raise, you still keep up with inflation.

I think my lowest was 0% and my highest almost 3%. Some years slightly below inflation, but in any 3 year period I think I've been above inflation.

Then any raise is on top of that.

this sounds like a sci-fi novel

Same in my office in the UK, I got asked if I was not taking enough breaks or doing work outside of work hours as I was doing more than they expected and my manager was worried about me burning out, but having a chill atmosphere and a nice place to hang out and chill in the office just means that I can be more productive and happier at work so it's a win-win... A lot of HR types don't realise that it takes a nice office in both material and culture to make people productive and just go for the former which has the lower effect of the two when used alone.

Ok, calm down there, commie. Maybe you'd better go check in with your "family" and your "adequate housing". The rest of us are here to make money.... For other people.

I know that the American capitalism thing is a meme at this point, but working in software, every company I've worked for isn't against you taking breaks or doing whatever as long as things get done. I've played foosball with my VP during normal hours before, and it was slightly awkward but good fun.

The usual issue I see in my industry is that you constantly accumulate more responsibilities without any corresponding increase in pay. It's especially bad for morale when you see someone leave, and their responsibilities get distributed to the team, but no one gets any part of the old person's salary as a raise to make up for the added responsibilities even when the higher ups refuse to hire a replacement since you're all clearly handling it fine.

My guess is USA or UK

Source: live in USA. Taking breaks is seen as being lazy. As is taking days off when your sick.

I've been told multiple times to take more sick leave.

Usually when I come back from sick leave, I've been told I should have taken a day more to recover fully. But after days in bed, I just really want to start doing something, even if I'm tired.

Listen, speaking as an American, we know Danes have better quality of life, but we’ll be damned if we will sacrifice capitalism to get there! Our motto is “if you’re not working, you’re losing money!” That only applies to the lower ranks, of course.

Seriously tho, I would love to live in a society that expects companies to hold the well-being of their employees over profits (not that these two are mutually exclusive), and the culture is changing slowly, but we’re not there yet.

Denmark is capitalist. High investment rates are literally their biggest internal economic driver.

from Wikipedia:

The labour market is traditionally characterized by a high degree of union membership rates and collective agreement coverage.

Well, there's the problem. Our capitalists say that's stupid, they'll just lose money!

I'm a capitalist and unions are dope. The two are clearly not incompatible.

Let's get union reform like these countries too

I agree. I wish more capitalists in charge did!

Tide definitely seems to be turning, at last

Exactly, that's the thing. Here in Denmark, many (most?) companies think that happy workers are more productive.

I might be colored by mostly working in places where it's very expensive to replace an employee, but then again, for Americans I mostly talk with people in a similar kind of job.

Every shitty company in France is like this. And I’ve seen a lot like that.

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Yeah, the main reason Ive changed jobs is money. Nobody gives raises like new bosses.

I always tell people the easiest way to get a raise is to find a new job. Nobody is keeping up with inflation anymore, it's pretty much required to job hop to break even anymore.

I like my job, but I'd leave for the right position/compensation.

I try to interview once per quarter, at least.

I've started adding some tough questions, like asking how the average annual increases compare with inflation and COLA. Most interviewers turn into a 13 year old telling a girl they have a crush on them -- all of the sudden 0 confidence.

That's when I tell them that for the circumstance, my compensation ask is going to be quite high.

I also tell local employers that my "in office" ask is literally 5x pay. They always balk and say somethi g like "yeah that's not gonna happen," to which I say "Tell me about it!"

Everyone should interview more. Declining a good offer because you like your situation more feels like doing cocaine.

I often get ask about my salary expectation in the very first 10 minute interview with the HR person, before even getting the chance to talk to the team. Being sincere, I wouldn't get to follow-up interviews if I told them my expectation that they would definitely see as too high.

How do you deal with that situation?

Make sure you have a job while interviewing for a new one, that way you aren't desperate, and hold your ground!

You're applying to and weeding out jobs that don't suit you.

Your price is your price. They don't have to like it and you don't have to work with them.

I've told $50K jobs I wouldn't do it for less than 5x, 250K, lol. Yeah, I didn't get a follow up. Oh well. These are my terms. You want me in office for a 50k/yr role? I'll do it for 250k. This ensures I don't end up with a role not suited for me.

If the company doesn't want to match your salary expectation, then why interview? Are you hoping that meeting with the team will change their mind? I don't have enough experience to know if that happens, but I suspect it's unlikely.

Not every company posts salary up front, so there is at least that situation.

Or the salary range is $40k - $80k, which in my experience, means $40k.

If salary range says 40 to 80 and they offer 40, counter with 100.

Don't settle for less than 80 assuming your credentials fit the position.

Have them tell you no. Don't decide it based on intuition.

If they stay at 40 tell them you'll continue to look for employment that values your work where you think it should be valued, wish them well, and walk.

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Especially if you know exactly that your employer most likely has zero loyalty to you either.

If there was a way to get the same work for 20% less, my employer would happily do that.

I never understood that logic, tbh. It can't be good for a business to lose half the staff every few years. Bringing in fresh blood once in a while is good, but you shouldn't need constant transfusions.

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A company offered me a million dollars to work for them, but then I remembered the ping pong table at my current employer and said no way. Totally worth it.

I had this argument with a boomer HR consultant and she just doubled down, even though I explained that neither I nor my colleagues, give two hoots about fussball or team building. Our position is a resounding "fuck you pay me" but oh no - boomer knows best.

My then gf now wife moved in with me and my employer wouldn't cover her under the insurance. I made it clear that this was important. They wouldn't back down. So got a new job. During the exit interview I repeated what I told them. It was only about the health insurance. HR tried to get me to talk smack about my manager, a guy I actually liked. I praised him and again told them that this was only about insurance.

Told my manager about what they did on the way out the door.

Yeah, often when an employee leaves it's about the lack of ping-pong table.

"Yes, boss, I'm leaving because I'm tired of playing ping-pong on unoccupied morgue tables, you really should've bought a proper ping pong table instead"

Questions like these make me wonder if large capitalists actually live in an alternate universe but through some time and space shenanigans they are still here. There's just no way they can make this type of shit up (assuming it's a real question) without being delusional or sadistic.

There’s just no way they can make this type of shit up (assuming it’s a real question) without being delusional or sadistic.

Of course there is: they want to implement doublethink. It's a deliberate attempt to make workers not to pursue their own rational interest when it conflicts with corporate profits.

I'm sorry to say but psychopaths walk among us every day, you just need to play the game, until you find a better gig

You gotta have hr (the worker who defends the bosses interests) on your side if you wanna drop $300 on a ping pong table rather than raises.

Raises cost $30,000. That's why they prefer the ping pong table.

Just calculate the equivalent drop in working hours required to get a reasonable hourly rate, then spend the difference in time playing ping pong.

They are either people in advantageous positions that benefit from this or people that are stupid enough to think they will one day be the rich benefiters of this so why should they shoot their future self in the foot right? Goes hand in hand with people that are stupid enough to keep voting right because they advocate for the poor so at some point surely something will change.

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I've never left a company because of money. I have left because the bullshit they put me through wasn't worth the money. That's not just being funny either. I'm okay with being under-compensated if the environment is positive, managers are friendly and flexible, and it actually feels like our sister teams have similar goals and we're not working against each other.

I agree with this, with a caveat. I'm ok with being underpaid compared to industry standard, to a certain extent. However, I'm not ok with being underpaid compared to other colleagues doing similar work for the same employer.

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I agree with this, with a caveat. I'm ok with being underpaid compared to industry standard, to a certain extent. However, I'm not ok with being underpaid compared to other colleagues doing similar work for the same employer.

I love that in theory,

There are so many systems/programs/policies that promise to do that verry thing that I wonder if their trying to pretend to improve rather than actually doing so. It doesnt work, just be a miserable failure of a cult.

genuine compassion is possable, you just gotta wade through the BS others are trying to sell your employer.

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When I worked at a soul-crushing insurance job, we were given an event where the bosses served us pancakes. That was right after we were forced to celebrate bosses' day and watch our bosses open gifts that the suck-ups got them. I was able to quit without notice shortly after and it felt so goddamn good.

Ping Pong table ? Are they serious ?!? We had a PS5 in the meeting room for ~4 month an no one ever touched it. I don't go to work to have a fun time, I go to do my job, then leave and have a fun somewhere else. More correct answers for retaining employees:

  • give them tasks they are interested in
  • give them perspective for developement (promotions, raise, mobility, etc)
  • value their contributions and support them moraly (you want to know your managers and colleages got your back)
  • of course more money ! Or alternatively more freetime !

Absolutely correct. I always wonder when I see such reports where HR comes up with their completely stupid notion that work is not about earning money.

Well, it's not just the money obviously, but a lot of HR takes that to the convenient extreme that "the money doesn't matter".

It also changes based on the compensation amount. Someone making $300k/year may feel less obsessed with a raise versus someone making $50k/year.

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Incorrect right answer a air hockey table you don't want money you want to play the Foosball

Yes! My thoghts exactly! I am an addict to foosball. Anything to enable my adiction is worth it! I have 3 tables at home already (all Mimic free) and am able to play 2 games at the same time. /s

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Profit sharing can be one hell of an incentive to retain and motivate employees.

More correct answers for retaining employees:

  • Have managers that aren't oblivious idiots
  • Have even higher-ups that aren't oblivious idiots
  • Don't treat employees like easily replaceable money-eating parasites

One of my previous jobs had an employee exercise room. Some people used it and management didn't like that so they said we're not allowed to use it during our shift and only after hours. It was a government position so we weren't allowed to be in the building before or after our shift.

These places only use them to advertise to new employees how "friendly" they are.

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Never quit a job over lack of ping pong tables.

Unless of course your job is to be a ping pong ball tester, in which case you may not be getting supported with the necessary tools to perform your job successfully.

It is pretty simple. Respect your employees and they will respect you. Respect starts with valuing the employee's contributions by paying them a fair wage. It continues with treating them well. A way of treating them well might be a point ping table, but that comes on top of a fair wage, not instead of.

A good manager might recognise a hard working team needs a way to relax and gets a pool table or something. The employees are happy and tell their friends they've got a pool table at work, everyone is jealous. It seems like the pool table is the reason but it is just a symptom of them being generally treated well.

I wonder if this is how this whole trend started: some decent manager recognized their hard working well-paid and taken care of team deserved some extra something, got them a pool table or whatnot, then other shittier companies copied this thinking it was a solution in itself without understanding why the thing was installed in the first place

Ah yes because I have the time to play ping pong :)

They didn't even take themselves seriously when making the "ping pong table" as the correct answer. HR is a bad joke

"Additional responsibilities" is obviously the correct intended answer.

It could be technically correct (the best kind of correct). An employee could leave because they weren't getting paid for all the extra responsibilities they were forced to take on. I've seen it often enough in the "tales from" subreddits (/r/talesfromretail, /r/talesfromtechsupport).

This is true but still not the right answer... it's not always about the money

IT'S ABOUT THE METS BABY, LET'S GO METS, GONNA GET A HOMERUN, LOVE THE METS! LET'S GO METS!

Now give me a raise so I can afford to see the METS BABY YEAH THE METS

You got it buddy! A big raise cause you're gonna want to get hotdogs and beer baby!

This reminds me of the Simpson episode where they are negotiating a new contract. It’s the same as the old one expect the they replace the dental plan with a keg of beer.

Season 4 Episode 17 “Last Exit to Springfield” .

Yeah, we're the fucking generation that can't afford our own living, but have you tried giving us a ping-pong table?

How many of these companies think employees are going to say it's about the money during an exit interview? Usually if you agree to an exit interview it's to be diplomatic and not burn your bridges. You're not going to tell the truth, you're going to say what they want to hear.

I was abundantly clear that I was leaving for the money. They countered with a salary that was pretty much identical, but I wasn't shy about telling hr that it shouldn't take me getting another offer to convince them that I was worth paying market rates for.

No bridges burned, they've reached out twice now to see if I'd come back and the salary is now pretty competitive but I'm in a good spot and not interested in leaving.

You can be honest and diplomatic....if you try.

So what you're saying is that your reason for leaving wasn't about the money

It was specifically about the money. Please don't be one of those people so ignorant as to believe that a firm who doesn't value their employees until they're one foot out the door is somewhere that will pay you what you're worth in the long run. Being competitive now doesn't mean I'd be making more money, it just means they're now in the range for my position.

Money isn't only valuable in this instant, the availability of money in the future is also an important factor.

I always have. If that's the reason, why wouldn't you? It's just business. Once, they've offered me a potentential promotion or salary increase to try to retain me (but not nearly as much as I got from the new job). I doubled my salary and got my title promoted twice in 2 years by switching employers twice. If I keep it up I'll be a CEO in no-time, lol.

perfectly maps to startups selling working at a startup as "we're a family", "you're a googler", etc. give them a ping pong table and free beer on fridays and you can pay considerably less.

If they're anything like my relatives, I absolutely DON'T want to be treated like family...

Thought you were going to launch into a family tragedy involving ping pong and beer. Carry on.

the correct answer to this entire questionnaire is to close it and never look back

Of course, nobody with two brain cells to rub together who reads that answer is sitting there thinking to themselves, "Huh... I guess I've had it wrong all this time, focusing so much on money." Rather, they're instinctively blurting out, "Yeah right -- I call bull!"

But I'll give them partial credit; frequently it's about money. Sometimes, it's just about a work environment that used to be great going to crap. And sometimes, it's about the employee coming to an epiphany, and realizing that their work environment was actually crap all along.

That said, it may be true that not every job that I've ditched was entirely because of money... but it should go without saying that it's always a factor in where I went for the next job. Also, it's never the only factor -- but it's certainly one of the more significant ones.

"Usually, in our narrow and sad description of what an employee wants, it's not money. Clearly it's more related to the lack of ping-pong tables and extra responsibilities." 🤡

These people have absolutely forgotten what it means to be an employee.

Born rich they were never an employee

I started out with millions of dollars and look at me now. I've pulled myself by my boots straps I have. Read my book, it's it's called "How To Get Rich And Be A Pretentious Dipshit". It is self-published and available on my website. At me on LinkedIn

I'm a multi millionaire how did I do it easy started out born into a billionaire family

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I actually convinced my boss to get us a ping pong table, all I had to do was forego my pay for a year!

Totally worth, since I'm not working for the money, I'm working for the culture (our culture is now a ping pong table). It's so awesome that I can use it during my state-mandated breaks 🙂

state-mandated breaks 🙂

Looks like someone doesn't do construction work in Texas.

Most people quit because of bad bosses. I know I have...

This has to be satire

...right?

Definitely not. I've seen these type of questions and answers on practically any job application in America. Thing is, this isn't even the worst example of it, unfortunately. It's fucking depressing and degrading.

I can't afford groceries for the 3rd time this month, but did you hear they're putting a ping pong table in the lounge!?

Wild. They both "might" help. They both cost the company money. They should both be correct.

Wtf are you talking about? Employees work office jobs 9 to 5 because they love to work. Like all good employee's. Heck, if they weren't getting paid they'd still the work for free because they love it so much. It's only out of the pure goodness of my heart that I decide to pay them minimum wage/s

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In fact all three are valid answers. Cruel manipulation as it is, additional even uncompesated responsibilities often do drive retention as people are invested too deep and too stressed out to consider switching or find time for the process.

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I doubt most people leave because of a lack of ping-pong table.

Chants for your next strike action:

  • "Our CEO'S a DING DONG, WE JUST WANT THE PING PONG!!!"
  • "Hey hey! ho ho! Give us balls and paddles or we're going to go! Hey hey! Ho ho!"
  • "The workers without ping pong, will never work the day long!"
  • "The people with no paddles, will never be your chattel!"
  • "backhands, forehands, we don't need your labels, the only thing we need are fucking ping pong tables!"

Damn. Now I want a ping pong table.

Hey, wanted to level-set with you real quick. Some people in the office have commented that they see you playing ping pong quite a bit. I know you’re just playing on your breaks but It’s really not a good look.

Thanks for the chat.

That's funny. I want additional responsibilities

I have one, but it's just not the same having one at home as it is having one at work y'know?

This is the reason why but never the reason I give. If I make employers think at any time that I focus too much on the money, they will see me as a troublemaker. Instead, I come up with some bullshit excuse such as medical reasons and the smart employers will work it out on their own.

? We are all in it for the money. How is that being a trouble maker? Money is a motivator and should be used to incentivize performance.

It's completely bizarre how we live in a capitalist society and yet we're supposed to be motivated by work culture work.

It's like they think that capitalism only applies to them.

Hey OP, we need to know where this is from (so they don’t get away with this shit)

Even if a Ferangi wouldn't pull this crap, at least they're honest about their motivations and don't expect other people to be motivated by anything other than money either.

If we could all just admit that life would be a lot easier and we wouldn't have to put up with HR wankery. In fact we could probably get rid of the HR department because we all know they essentially just exist to try and keep the employees in line, and stop them forming unions, but if we just got paid more then they wouldn't be necessary.

You think that way because they've taught you to think that way. Instead, you should be very plain about your pay expectations. If someone starts getting on your case for being "pay motivated" or some other horseshit HR wageyganda idea, here's what you say.

"I hear what you're saying, and certainly the main drivers in my career goals are broadening my skillset and achieving excellence. However, my life and family goals operate in a capitalist society reliant on me growing my compensation year over year. If this job is unprepared to meet my life goals, then let's be explicit about that so I can reevaluate my plan for my household and decide whether this position is a fit."

I think this way because it's how many of my employers think. I would love to have a job where I could be this honest and it's something I'm working on but most employers think this way and so too does my current employer. Even so, this is the highest paying job I've had so far. It's easy for you to say that behind a keyboard not knowing my situation, it's much harder for me to have a frank conversation with my manager in a deep red state. I've been fired before and rejected during the interview process for being too honest.

As a capitalist I don't understand why it wouldn't be about the money

In my experience, they're thinking 20-30 cents per hour. And yah, that's never enough to change someone's mind. 20-30% that could make a difference, but it's way too much for them to ever concider.

They'll consider it if they know someone else is willing to pay it. I got headhunted a couple years ago by a place willing to pay me 50% more than I made to work remotely doing generally the same thing I was already doing in-office. There were more responsibilities, though, so I wanted to stick with my current job if I could get them to match the offer. I took it to my boss, and he agreed to match the pay, and even talked the CEO into letting me work remotely when they otherwise have a pretty strong push toward in-office work.

Now I get paid more than my own supervisor while working a pretty cushy job in my pajamas.

That's awesome! It's nice to know it works out sometimes. Congrats!

Oh yeah, fun fact, in my former and current job every year we get invited to a town halls with some executive and every year we hear the complaints that we can't keep employees.

Every year I ask the same question, "We keep hearing that we have a attrition problem so why do we keep chasing the industry standard for pay and benefits, why can't we adjust our pay scale and promotion process to actual reward performance to actually keep our high performers?"

Every year, is a non-answer, nothing changes, we lose good people and only keep our industry standard people.

Though it was funny that since I'm on multiple projects/teams I did get the same speil multiple times from the same person and the third time in two years I got called I didn't even have to ask before I got the boiler plate.

Was "A ping pong table and enough free time in my schedule to actually use it for half an hour on a quiet day without the area manager coming in and demanding that we get back to work" too long?

Ill stay at an average paying job with a great culture, over a shitty culture and more money. But only to a point.

I think the issue most companies don't realize is that we are forcing many people under a living wage, and at that point being paid better is the only thing that counts.

Was “A ping pong table and enough free time in my schedule to actually use it for half an hour on a quiet day without the area manager coming in and demanding that we get back to work” too long?

About 5 years ago our department manager bought us a barbecue for our warehouse.

It is still in it's plastic wrapping. We have never had the time to get together as a group and use it.

My experience there is that someone has to spearhead the initiative to use it. Show management that its a positive thing and if they dont jump on board, shove it back into the corner and say "we tried".

We had one at a place I used to work at and we had a $5 friday lunch. We all worked a few extra minutes into lunchtime to cover the hour that one guy spent cooking. The only real "sacrifice" that had to be made was someone had to go grab the supplies on thrsday afternoon. In the end the bosses gave the "chef" paid time to shoot off, get the supplies and cook. They also agreed to cover the gas for the bbq.

Doesnt sound like much but $5 for a can of coke and a couple of cheesesteak sandwiches, some spicy sausage sandwiches, bacon and egg rolls... friday lunch was always a good time.

I think that's a stance that make different amounts of sense at different compensation levels.

You make $50k and someone offers a $75k salary? Then you'll likely risk the culture. If you make $150k and facing a $200k offer? The bird in the hand might be seen as good enough, though you may angle for a counter offer.

How about giving them a raise in pay, and if they really want it, they can buy the ping-pong table out of their own pocket flips desk

That's stupid. Wouldn't the smarter thing to do be to buy the ping pong table and Dock everyone's pay because of it? That ping pong table cost the company a fortune. And no, those bite marks on the leg of pool table aren't from my dog/s

If they put a ping pong table anywhere within earshot of my desk I’m going apeshit

Capitalism stops when it comes to salary. Then it's all about culture and warm fuzzy feelings. Those are the only incentives an employee needs.

This totally doesn't look like something fake with its lack of source or context that was just made to spark rage, not at all

If definitely seen shit like this on menial job applications in the past. Typically as pary of a "personality test" that tries to root out commies. USA obv

It'd such a bad feedback loop. Employees don't always feel safe being honest at exit interviews, so they say what they think HR wants to hear and HR just takes it as fact. Then they build training like this based off what Former employees felt safe telling HR and the cycle continues.

The ping ping table at least lasts longer than a pizza party, but it's no more significant. When retiring, nobody wishes they ate more pizza or played more ping pong at work. They wish they had been able to grow and make more money so they'd be better taken care of.

Here's a pingpong table. If you are fit enough to play after a 10h shift, knock yourself out. Except that the office closes when you finished your work so, no, it's just decoration.

If it was a Foosball table, it could at least be used as a makeshift coat rack

I never left a job just to make more money. But I have left managers who weren't looking out for me, and happened to make more money in the process.

I thought this was chatgpt for a second because I didn't want to believe anyone but ai could be this tone deaf. then I remembered humans and got depressed

It's especially morbid when the CAPITALISTS try to get you to "care about our totally noble mission, not what you get paid."

The irony being that the mission is always to make the capitalist owners more money as the only priority. You, on the other hand, should just see making them money as its own reward, you lucky little capital battery.

It's like being scolded about the intrinsic value of human life... by Jeffrey Dahmer.

If a company is paying competitive wages then when an employee quits it isn't because of pay.

If a company is paying low wages it will probably be because of the pay that a person quits, because there is nothing to keep them putting up with the bs that EVERY COMPANY HAS.

That's 95% correct. Ping Pong table is dumb but it's very often not about the money.

I actually dislike it when companies do this because it makes them feel like they've got this "oh look at us aren't we cool and hip, we're basically Google, stay after hours and don't get paid" vibe.

But can you use it? I’ve worked places with things like that, gaming rooms for breaks, etc. and it was mostly just for sore and never used.

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Middle of the road: pay your employees in ping pong tables, increase monthly ping pong table quota.

So... this is pretty stupid, a raise in pay certainly might help.

However, from the perspective of a career spent managing teams, often organizations with hundreds of employees, if you think your people are all solely motivated by compensation, you're going to do a very poor job as a manager.

Everyone wants more money, but that's not all they want -- and there are plenty of people who quit high paying jobs that treated them poorly or gave them no opportunity to grow.

Think about appropriate compensation as necessary, but often not sufficient -- and think about the best boss you ever had. They probably did more than just pay you fairly, that's the bare minimum.

What the list needs is "fire their toxic manager" or "ask them what they need to be happy and successful in their career"

I've seen reference to research showing pretty much what you're saying: Inadequate pay gives dissatisfied employees, but raising pay above a certain level only gives very short term increase in employee satisfaction. The conclusion was that pay has to be high enough that people feel fairly compensated, but further increasing it has little to no long-term effect.

Yep. It's why companies can offer ridiculous salaries and still have crazy employee churn (see: amazon, tesla).

Seriously. Another comment pointed out there's "not enough money" and "enough money" for wages. Depending on which side you're on money may not be the reason someone quits. My previous job paid me enough, but the business partner was so dangerously incompetent, reckless, agressive, and unwilling to do their own job that I quit out of frustration. I made it very clear to my boss' boss that it wasn't about money, and I wasn't going to tell them what my new compensation was. It isn't his business. My issue was the business partner. Within a few months a few other people quit working there too for the same reason.

Yeah, I get what you’re saying, but between more money and a ping pong table, which do you think most people would choose? If they wanted to imply a more casual/fun/less-stress environment, they should have said that, but implying a ping pong table would motivate people to stay is like thinking dangling your keys in front of a baby to stop its crying will keep it happy forever. At least a pay raise is helpful to me.

Exactly. "Pay people enough, " is table stakes. It's good business strategy and it's a basic moral duty. "Grossly over pay people, " is probably not good business strategy; even if you do, it isn't going to make up for being a shitty place to work

This is why we need a huge general strike. It's going to take this getting a lot worse before must people would consider joining though. It's a trap and it's tough to get out of. Capitalism is a train wreck.

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Employee retention has been a huge part of my job for over a decade. In the professional world, employees rarely leave over money.

It's generally about opportunities to do new things/grow in their career (which is distinctly different from compensation), a culture problem (which compensation will not fix), or an engagement problem (poor leadership)

And has someone who quit over poor compensation, those are exactly the bullshit reasons I told HR on my way out, as to not burn bridges.

When I was younger, at least. Old me doesn't give a shit anymore.

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I've heard that people leaving Amazon do so because of the environment/culture there, even though Amazon pays very well.

Are you upvoting yourself with bots or what's going on here? You seem to be making very sure to drive the point that it definitely ISN'T money lol.

They sound like someone who's completely disconnected from the financial realities of 95% of workers lmao

The only way I can see what he mean making sense is that he's talking about the people making more than low 6 figures. I can totally see someone making 300k a year not leaving because of money but because they wanna do something new.

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I've left a dozen or so jobs over my entire life. One because the job was eliminated, five or six because school was starting/ending, one because the manager was a prick, and the rest exclusively because I was offered more money.

I never thought that CEOs might plant a seed that a "cultural change and approach in HR" and falsified stats papers would be the new meta to keep payroll low.

Yup they try to pull this shit all over the world.

"Capitalism indoctrination" doesn't make any sense in this context. Capitalism in this context would be that raising the pay of an employee is investing in your business to retain good producers of the products you sell for profit. Competitive pay rates are a weapon in the capitalist war for profits.

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No, no! You silly, he meant to raise the pay to the ping pong table! He wanted a bigger one!